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From: MelLin6695@aol.com
Subject: New TG - Waldo - Flash Gordon - Part 3 of 10
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Flash

By Waldo (mellin6695.aol.com)

Warning - Flash Gordon, Dale, Zarkov, Ming and the planet 
Mongo don't belong to me, but were borrowed for this parody. If 
you're not an adult, don't read any further.  This story may be 
posted on web sites that offer free distribution of stories to the 
general public.  Just drop me an e-mail telling me where it's 
posted and I'll be happy.


Chapter 2 - Fuck you Ming

"How are you feeling?"

The unexpected words and the gentle fingers lifting his eyelid 
awaken Joseph Hurley from his drugged sleep. Staring up at 
the fuzzy looking face bent over him, it took a couple of seconds 
for Corporal Hurley to focus his eyes where he could clearly see 
the man's middle-aged bearded face who was bending over him. 
Opening his mouth and smelling his own breath which smelled 
like mothballs, Hurley answered slowly "It wasn't a dream? Tell 
me that it wasn't a dream and she really exists.", asking it more 
as a question than as a statement.

The question obviously amused the bearded man because his 
face quickly changed expression from a being a deadpan 
professional appraisal to a grinning 'yeah-I-know-what-you-
mean' bar-buddy type of smile "Dream? The ship wreck was 
real, your rescue from your dying ship was real as well as your 
current presence on our too small vessel. Just relax because 
everything is all right now that you're with us. Welcome aboard 
this place that I've called home for the last four weeks - Explorer 
1. I'm Doctor Zarkov, but you can call me Hans or Doc. I answer 
to either name."

Hurley turned his head to look around as he verified that he 
was indeed not on the Tiara any more. He slowly sat up in the 
bed, letting the blanket fall away from his naked body as he 
spun on the cot so that he could put his feet on the floor. 
Looking around the small cabin, he saw a blonde-haired man 
sitting in the Pilot's chair, working on the controls. The chisel 
sharp profile of the man's face looked familiar but the cook 
couldn't associate a name with the pilot's face. The doctor 
handed Hurley some clean clothes as he pointed toward the 
busy pilot and continued the introductions "And that's Flash. 
Flash Gordon. Maybe you've heard of him.or at least read 
about him. Some wag back on Earth is trying to cash in on 
Flash's real-life adventures by drawing a comic strip about his 
legendary space exploration exploits for the Sunday comic 
papers. They also feature me as his sidekick but I think that I'm 
better looking than the way that they draw me."

Hurley's mouth gaped open as he stared at the legendary pilot 
and space explorer. No wonder that he recognized the facial 
features of the famous astronaut. Over the last five years, there 
had been so many pictures of the famous explorer in the papers 
that everyone was familiar with his features and name. Then 
the pictures and articles had faded just after the comic strip 
was started. Some of Hurley's friends thought that Flash 
Gordon was someone that the government had invented to 
cheer up the Earth's population after their disastrous contacts 
with aliens from other planets. That once the publicity had 
goaded the citizens into action, that he wasn't needed anymore 
- thus the reason that there hadn't been anything lately about 
Flash Gordon.

To see him was an honor. To be on the same rocket ship with 
him was an adventure that Hurley knew that he would never 
forget.

Now that the basic introductions were out of the way, the doctor 
instructed the still somewhat dazed rescued man "Hurry up and 
get dressed. This is a small ship and we don't have much room 
to share. There's just the one cot for everyone to share. Flash's 
had a rough several hours correcting our course to get us back 
on target, so he needs to rest. We'll have to take turns sleeping 
in the cot which means that he can't get any sleep until you're 
completely out of it. I know that you've got a lot of questions but 
we've also got a lot of questions for you. Now get dressed then 
we'll talk."

Hurley accepted the clean clothes that the doctor was offering. 
It was one of his own uniforms that he had worn under the 
spacesuit but it was clean from where someone had cleaned it 
while he slept. As he dressed, he glanced around the small 
cabin, realizing that the rocket ship was the smallest rocket 
that he had ever seen. The doctor noticed his exploring glances 
and offered an explanation "Explorer 1 is a planet hopper that 
we've modified so that it can also be used to travel around the 
solar system much further than it was originally designed to 
travel. Its small size makes it very limited on cargo and 
personnel but when we enter a planet's atmosphere, its small 
size make it very maneuverable which allows us to easily land 
and take off again as if we were nothing more than a simple 
airplane. We were on our way to a planet on a two man rescue 
mission when your emergency rescue call came in. We diverted 
our course just long to pick you up, then Flash spent several 
hours putting us back on a course to our original target. We 
don't have enough fuel to take you to someplace inhabitable to 
drop you off so you'll just have to come along with us until we 
finish this assignment."

Standing up somewhat shakily as he finished putting on his 
uniform, Hurley responded "When I signed up for space travel, I 
was hoping that someday that I could be more than just a cook. 
I'm your man and will do whatever you say."

Flash placed the vessel on autopilot then stood up as he sleepily 
stretched his arms and answered in a somewhat tired voice 
"Cook. Good. I was getting tired of the doc's attempt to produce 
what he calls food. Welcome aboard. We'll probably see some of 
the adventure that you're seeking. Knowing my bad luck, we'll 
see more adventure than any of us will ever want to see again. 
Well, it's been a long couple of days of constant course changes 
to pick you up and I need to sleep for several hours. As Doc 
said, there's just one cot so we're taking turns sharing that bed. 
You can sit in my chair while I sleep but don't mess with the 
controls."

Corporal Hurley eagerly stepped forward and sat down in the 
pilot's chair, spinning the chair around so that he faced the 
complex instrument panel. It felt very different to sit in the 
Captain's chair and look out the small pilot's observation front 
window at the blackness of space. Turning his chair back 
around, he observed an obviously tired Flash lie down on the 
small cot and cover his body with the blanket. Looking back at 
the rest of the small rocket ship, Hurley stared at what had to 
be the bathroom door. Behind that door was the only place that 
his beautiful angel could be - the bathroom.

Turning to face the doctor, he asked the question most on his 
mind now that he remembered the beautiful woman who had 
warm life back into his body with her luscious naked body 
"What is her name?"

The doctor's face didn't show any emotion as he answered "Her? 
You mean the attractive woman whose shapely body warmed 
you and thawed you. That wonderful body belonged to a very 
pretty young woman named Dale. The very beautiful Dale 
Arden. You're a very lucky man to have been so close to her 
perfect naked body under such intimate conditions. Sorry that I 
had to knock you out but you were reacting to her closeness 
and she was beginning to need some protection from your too-
obvious amorous attempts."

Smiling broadly like a Cheshire cat as he recalled the sensuous 
feel of her shapely body and the tantalizing scent of her faint 
perfume, the young Corporal asked "I thought that they didn't 
allow women into space. You know... So how did she get out 
here?"

Glancing back at Flash sleeping on the cot, the doctor listened 
for several seconds to the soft breathing coming from the 
exhausted man on the cot as he slept. Turning back around to 
the young man, the doctor fumbled with answering the cook's 
very direct question "It's a long story. And we've got a lot of 
time, so you'll get to hear the whole story sooner or later."

Pointing his thumb back toward the bathroom, Hurley said 
"When she comes out of the bathroom, how should I address 
her? After all she saved my life? Should I call her Dale or what? 
I remember that she had on an officer's uniform but I didn't pay 
any attention to the rank."

The doctor leaned back in his chair, interlocked his fingers 
across his belly and twiddled his thumbs as he said "Dale won't 
be coming out of the bathroom. She's sleeping in the cot right 
now. And it's best to call her...Dale."

Following the direction of the doctor's finger point, Hurley 
glanced at the only occupant of the small ship's only cot - the 
blond hair of the sleeping Flash Gordon. Turning back to face 
the doctor, Hurley's confused face stared at the doctor. The 
doctor recognized that the story couldn't be put off till later and 
knew that it was time to get the story out of the way "As I said, 
that beautiful woman's body belongs to Dale. However it was 
really Flash that went into the wrecked interior of the Tiara, 
found you and dragged you back here. It was really Flash that 
climbed in bed with you and shared his, rather shared her body 
heat with you."

Hurley's mouth gapped open and he stared at the doctor as if 
the doctor was lying to him. After five seconds of awkward 
silence, the doctor started summarizing the facts behind his 
unusual statements so far "The reason that Flash Gordon faded 
from public sight was because of an accident involving him and 
Dale. As Dale laid dying on a hell-hole of a planet - the 
unfortunate victim of one of Ming's dastardly plots that went 
wrong, there was only one way to save her, using an alien piece 
of equipment that we still don't understand how the damn thing 
works. Using that alien equipment, Flash merged the basic 
chemistry of Dale's body into his body; thus saving her life 
within his own body until such time as he can restore her to a 
real life again. But there was a great cost to him for doing that 
heroic gesture. For twenty-nine hours at a time, Flash has his 
normal male body. Then his male body turns completely into 
Dale's female body for twenty-nine hours. It was her body but 
his mind in her body that was in bed with you, warming you 
when you were frozen. Her mind is there when he is in her body 
and the new 'Dale' can answer questions that only the real Dale 
would know; but it's his soul that's there speaking as Dale 
when you see Dale's body. When 'Dale' rescued you, it was 
Flash in her body that warmed you."

Hurley's confused eyes rapidly flickered from Flash's sleeping 
body to the doctor's somewhat bemused smile as the doctor 
continued "I found it hard to believe also but I've seen the daily 
changes for the several months since we escaped Mongo with 
Dale's body and soul merged into him. It tears him up to be in 
her body, to know that he may never see her again, except to 
look into a mirror every other day and see her face reflected 
back at him. It also hurts him to have such easy recall to her 
thoughts and memories when he's in her body and to know her 
most private thoughts from his access to her memory. Only a 
few people, such as myself, our commander and some very 
close friends know the truth as to what happened to Dale and 
why Flash was so reclusive during our short stay back on 
Earth. Most other people...well, they don't need to know and 
we're not going to tell them. I know that some people were 
questioning why they never saw both Dale and Flash at the 
same time. All sorts of rumors were floating around that they 
had fought and broke up. You see, when we came back to 
Earth, people would see Flash one day and Dale the next day; 
so we hid the story about the accident from everyone except the 
Commander. Anyhow, they're both here on this ship sharing the 
same life. Every twenty-nine hours I see him turn into her and 
twenty-nine hours later, I see the vice versa change back. I 
suppose now is as a good as a time to tell you most of the 
details as to how it happened. And that'll explain why we're 
headed off on this flight."

Drumming his fingers nervously on his belly, Doctor Zarkov 
thought for a couple of seconds, then started his story by 
proclaiming "Wish that I had my pipe so that I could smoke as I 
talked. I've got it somewhere but Flash won't let me smoke on 
board the rocket with the rocket packed with all the explosives 
that he's got loaded in the storage areas. Anyhow I know how 
curious you are about how this happened to Flash and Dale. I 
was too, so let me set the stage for you. As you know Ming the 
Merciless and his Sharkmen were forever coming up with 
various dastardly schemes to conquer and rule the universe. 
And Flash was constantly finding ways to stop the evil Emperor 
of Mongo - with my help, of course. Ming knew that if he 
captured Dale, that he could temporary distract Flash and if 
Flash was distracted into trying to rescue Dale, then that would 
give Ming the opportunity to try to conquer the universe - still 
with me? Good, sometimes I get long-winded. Anyhow Ming's 
evil hoards did it. They captured Dale - and I hate to admit it, 
but they also captured me. I think that I went along with them 
capturing me because I wanted to make sure that Dale would 
be all right. So we were being held in one of the old castles on 
Ming's planet - a lovely planet called Mongo or it would be a 
lovely place if we could just get rid of Ming forever. Ming had 
ordered his doctors to use the Tractor-Grazer on Dale's mind to 
turn her into a harmless bimbo that recognized Ming as her 
Master. Most of the time, it's just a harmless mind-control 
device that temporary turns the victim into something just a 
little more animated than a dazed zombie for a couple of days to 
a week. But he put his experts onto her project and they spent 
a lot of time into trying to retain her personality while at the 
same time being his absolute slave. So Ming was keeping her in 
his harem with his other women and repeatedly using the 
Tractor-Grazer on her to keep her totally under his control in a 
bimbo-like state. Oh, she was so pretty with her white 
diaphanous gown and wearing all of the jewels that the other 
women kept her dressed her in; but then she's pretty in 
anything that she wears. I knew what she looked like and what 
Ming did to her because he didn't try to use the Tractor-Grazer 
on me. He wanted me to use my superb mind to fix an ancient 
device that he had stolen from another planet."

Taking a deep breath and sighing, he continued "I didn't know 
what it was then or what impact it would have on Flash or I 
would've killed myself to prevent getting it working again. It was 
just something that was a challenge to me to try to fix. All it 
was, was just a small box packed with a mixture of common 
electronic devices with a lens that emitted two light beams. 
When Ming gave it to me to repair, I didn't know what it could 
do or what he planned to use it for. I just looked at it as being a 
challenge to get it fixed so I could see what it did when it was 
fixed. And fixing it was relatively easy for someone of my strong 
technical skill. All I had to do was to repair the Gnodian 
Transfix by reversing the polarity....."

Shaking his head, he groaned in a soft voice "Sorry, I know how 
boring technical details can be. Anyhow I fixed it. I thought that 
because I was so valuable to him, that Dale and I were safe from 
harm. Foolish me. After Flash slipped into the castle to rescue 
us..he's always been able to get past the Sharkmen 
somehow.., and into my lab, we went straight to the women's 
quarters to rescue Dale. Naturally Dale didn't recognize Flash 
nor me because of her temporary brainwashing but she 
willingly accompanied us when I told her that Ming had sent us 
to escort her to him. So we took her back to the lab and I stayed 
with her, while Flash went after Ming. I busied myself by trying 
to think of someway to modify the device that Ming had given 
me to use as a Tractor-Grazer so that I could free Dale from her 
mental imprisonment before it faded of its own accord. After all 
they have a lot of the same parts. That's when it dawned on me 
what it really was that Ming had given me to fix - a Murp. Not 
just any Murp but the legendary Murp that's been rumored to 
being able to exchange bodies. And I had it in my hands. I 
actually fixed it so it could work again. I was so proud my 
deduction that for several minutes, I forgot how dangerous of a 
situation that we were in at the time and busied myself 
finishing the last repair necessary to get the Murp operational 
again. When Flash came running back into the Lab, closely 
followed by a angry hoard of dangerous Sharkmen trying to kill 
him, I remembered how dangerous the situation really was for 
both of us and put the Murp aside."

Pausing to look in his tunic pocket as if he was carrying a pipe, 
he frowned when he remembered that he couldn't smoke it on 
the rocketship, then proceeded with his story "It was a trap set 
to capture Flash and it almost worked. Thanks to his superb 
athletic conditioning and fighting skill, he was able to escape 
their trap at Ming's quarters. He came back to get us but there 
were too many of them chasing him when he reached the lab. I 
joined the battle with him and fought valiantly by his side while 
Dale sat on the bench where we had left her. All the time that 
we were battling for our lives, she was looking into a mirror and 
brushing her hair so that she would look pretty for Ming. As I 
said, Ming's Tractor-Grazer had reduced her from being a 
fighting soldier beside us to again being nothing more than a 
cheap floozy who wanted to look good for her master. She didn't 
care that we were fighting for our lives because of her 
brainwashed mental condition. The damn Tractor-Grazer in the 
hands of a professional can make you forget everything and 
remember only what you've been told to remember. At that 
moment, she was mentally nothing more than a whore waiting 
to be told who she should fuck and we were her lover's enemies. 
Anyhow just seconds after we decisively kicked the last 
Sharkman's butt and locked the door so that no more of those 
muscle-bound bullies could get into the lab, the accident 
happened. A Sharkman wheeled a laser beam machine to the 
outside of the lab's door and fired a blind burst through the 
door, hoping to accidentally hit either Flash or me with his wild 
shot. Instead he hit poor little innocent Dale who was 
mindlessly sitting on the counter waiting for the opportunity to 
serve her evil master...damn him. The burst knocked the life 
from her, killing her instantly. For a minute or two, while Flash 
held off the Sharkmen, I tried to revive her with my medical 
skills but it wasn't doing any good. Then I told Flash that she 
was dead."

A tear formed in the man's eye as he continued his tale "Where I 
gave up on her because of my vast medical experience telling 
me that there wasn't any potential hope for her, Flash 
completely refused to give up. I told him that she was dead but 
he refused to listen to me. He screamed at me that there must 
be something in Ming's electronic toy store that could help 
restore her life and that's when I thought of the Murp - you 
know, that piece of equipment that Ming wanted me to get 
working. I told him what I thought it was and Flash recognized 
the weapon's potential to be used as a cure also. So he picked it 
up and .....like the brave man that he is, he aimed one of 
the beams at her and the other beam at himself, offering to 
exchange his life for her life. Only it didn't work and the beam 
stunned Flash so he dropped the Murp as he heavily sat down 
on the ground. I quickly checked him and he seemed all right, 
just a little dazed and very confused. Then that damn 
Sharkman built up another electrical charge on his weapon and 
he fired his laser beam blindly again through the door again, 
missing us. Recognizing that we had to get out of that death 
trap and leave Dale's dead body behind..there wasn't any way 
to carry her and the hurt Flash. I grabbed Flash and led him 
out onto the patio where he had previously hidden a couple of 
small rocket belts for our escape. He was acting so confused 
that for a couple of minutes, I thought that the Murp had really 
worked and it was Dale's confused mind in his body. But as 
soon as I began fastening the rocket belt to him, he snapped 
somewhat out of it but he was still very confused. I activated his 
belt and followed with my belt. Five minutes later, we landed at 
the rocket ship and took off for Earth."

He sniffed once, then rubbed his eye to clear up the small tear 
that had formed before he spoke again "I'm not a pilot although 
I could be one if I wanted to waste the valuable time to learn a 
skill that a simpleton could learn. But I do know which button 
is the emergency homeward button. One simple push, the 
rocket takes off and the rocket is headed on a course straight 
home. Only I didn't know that once the emergency homeward 
button is activated, you can't take control of the ship again 
until after you get home. So my simple button push damned us 
into going home no matter what we wanted to do only hours 
later. Five hours into our flight away from Mongo, Flash 
completely snapped out of his confusion and dazed expression. 
He was angry over Dale's death and almost as angry that we 
had left her body behind. But he admitted that we had no 
choice but to leave her behind. He didn't fuss at me for locking 
us into a mandatory home trip, although a lesser man would've 
used that opportunity to berate me needlessly. He turned on the 
radio and was getting ready to tell Ming that he would be back 
when Ming stunned us both by issuing a call to us. At that 
close range, we could swap video images so we stared at Ming's 
horrible face as Ming apologized for the death of Dale Arden. 
That's right - he said he was sorry then he clarified his 
statement by admitting that he wished it had been us instead of 
the beautiful woman. Then he moved out of the way and behind 
him on an altar, we could see her body. Then Ming surprised us 
once he saw the expressions on our faces. He reversed himself 
and announced that she really wasn't dead - that she was only 
permanently in a trance. A trace so close to death that it could 
fool most people into thinking that she was already dead. And 
he said that he would keep her that way until Flash 
surrendered to him. Well I felt very proud of Flash when he told 
Ming - remember this is the most dangerous man in the 
universe that we were talking to - when Flash told Ming to fuck 
himself."

Sitting up straight and smiling as he thought of that moment, 
he held up a finger to emphasize his point "I'll never forget that 
moment. 'Fuck you Ming' was his exact words. Then Ming said 
the strangest thing. He said 'You used the Murf on yourself and 
Miss Arden. I think that someday, that I'll get the opportunity to 
fuck you.' At that time, we didn't know the hidden meaning of 
his words so Flash traded some more vulgar words with Ming 
and they tried to see who could insult the other the worst. Yes 
sir, they were like two teenage boys in a pissing contest as they 
traded threats. Then our rocket ship drifted out of range of the 
video and we had to switch to radio. When we contacted Ming's 
planet with the radio, Ming was so mad that he wouldn't talk to 
us. Oh, if only we had known at that moment what he knew 
about the Murf. Anyhow, Flash calmed down as we drifted 
further away from Mongo and I could tell that he was 
exhausted. So I told him to go lie down and rest and I would 
take the first shift of watching the flight back to Earth. He 
refused because he wanted to get as far away as he could before 
he rested. He wanted to rush back to Earth, get some 
reinforcements and come back to claim Dale's body. So we sat 
and talked - just as you and I am sitting now. Then I laid down 
and took a nap. When I woke up later, we were twenty-two 
hours away from Mongo and Flash was exhausted from being 
on his feet for so many hours. So I made him lie down and he 
fell asleep."

Opening his pocket again, he pulled out a small pipe and held it 
in his hand like a pointer. Pointing the mouthpiece of the pipe 
at Hurley, he said "While Flash slept, he experienced the first of 
the many transformations that I've seen since that day. I didn't 
see that particular one because I was busy watching the 
instrument panel. I heard him moving around as he woke up 
and I turned around to see...what I thought was Dale Arden 
wearing Flash's bigger uniform. She was still asleep on the cot, 
but it was quite obvious that it was Dale instead of Flash in his 
clothes. When I screamed at the unexpected surprise of seeing 
Dale on the cot, it woke 'her' up. The next couple of minutes 
were the most confusing minutes of my life. My eyes told me it 
was Dale standing next to me but she kept insisting that she 
was really Flash as she examined her new female body as if she 
was seeing it for the first time. She had seen it many times 
before but from a lover's perspective, not from a 'hey, it is now 
my body' perspective. Just as confused as I was, so was the new 
mixture of Flash and Dale. As we tried to figure out what had 
happened, she removed her too large Flash uniform and 
exposed that perfect body to me for the first time. An hour later 
when we both calmed down, we had a theory. A confusing 
theory but a theory never-the-less. Twenty-eight hours later 
when we both watched Dale's body change back into Flash's 
normal male body, we revised that theory. After three or four 
swaps over the next several days, we locked into our theory. 
And that's what happened. For the last five months, Flash has 
been changing into Dale every twenty-nine hours. About 
twenty-two hours just before we rescued you, Flash changed 
into Dale again. Then he stayed awake and in Dale's female 
body for part of the eight hours that he laid in the bunk with 
you, keeping you warm. It was more crowded in that small cot 
but he stayed long enough to make sure that you were through 
the danger period."

******


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