~Subject: Celeste's Top 100 Reviews (A-D) ~From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) ~Date: 28 Dec 1995 10:59:01 -0500 ~Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories Celestial Reviews of Top 100 Stories of 1995 (A-D) Note: Unless I noticed something that obviously needed to be changed, these reviews are the same as they appeared in the original issues of Celestial Reviews. In a few cases this means that there will be redundancies or references to other reviews that are not inlcuded in this reposted series. The reviews are arranged alphabetically by title (ignoring initial articles - a, an, the). "Across the Catty Corner" by Backrub. In Celestial Reviews 4, I gave a rating of 10 to "Catty Corner" by Sue. I pointed out that "Catty Corner" came with a double whammy - a voyeur watching a voyeur and then the voyeurs watching each other. This story brings us to either a triple or quadruple whammy - or at least a roaring orgasm. "Across the Catty Corner" tells the same story from the viewpoint of the voyeur in the first story, and then goes on to describe what happens afterwards. It's simply delightful! I hope that Sue reads this review and reposts "Catty Corner" as soon as possible. I think the second story will stand alone; but I know I enjoyed it more after first reading Sue's story. Incidentally, I can just imagine Deidre or Tammy Ng writing a sequel to this story - probably from the perspective of one of them leaving a telephone message for the other about what they did while they read this pair of stories - or perhaps what an unnamed reviewer did shortly after reading these stories. No - that's too much of a stretch. "Afternoon" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). Three college girls go for a ride on a beautiful afternoon. They pick up a female hitchhiker, who invites them to her cabin and introduces them to her female roommate. Two out of the three change their sexual preferences during the ensuing 24 hours. The other watches, listens, and narrates the story. I found this story to be full of hot sex, although most of it was implied rather than explicit. Several of the Deirdre stories are being reposted on a.s.s., and I have managed to acquire copies of all these stories plus advance notice of when they'll be posted. I'll try to post the reviews at a time when you can easily find the stories. Actually, I don't know why anyone would need my reviews. Since Deirdre's stories depend on surprising twists, I really can't tell you much about the plot in my reviews; and her stories are invariably well written. If I were you, I would simply download any story that has her name in the title line. As you may know, I have a theory that Deirdre is the reincarnation of Sherwood Anderson. It has come to my attention that the only people outside Clyde, Ohio, who know about Sherwood Anderson are English teachers. So I'll take a moment to tell you about him. Like Deirdre, Anderson was a prolific short-story writer. {Unlike Deirdre, he was also a novelist and critic.} He is best known for his sensitive portrayals of the lives of small-town midwesterners. {Deidre is best known for her portrayals of people with mild sexual quirks.} In 1919 he achieved fame with "Winesburg, Ohio", a group of interconnected short stories about small-town people whose frustrations and shattered dreams turn them into what he called "grotesques." {Deirdre is too polite to use a term like that.} Anderson's primary focus was the effects of industrialization on the life of the individual. {Deirdre's primary focus is slightly unusual sexual behavior.} His characters were often bizarre; and this aroused the resentment of the citizens of Clyde, who understandably got the feeling he was writing about them. {Deirdre's characters are not exactly run-of-the-mill, church-going, PTA members. It is my understanding that Deirdre is not allowed to visit Clyde, Ohio, except on Halloween.} Anderson strongly and permanently influenced the short story, concentrating on mood and psychological insight rather than on plot. For you foreigners out there, he's sort of an American Chekov. {Deirdre has pursued a similar emphasis and has exerted a similar influence on a.s.s. } Anderson's most famous collections of short stories are The Triumph of the Egg (1921), Horses and Men (1923), and Death in the Woods (1933). Some of his finest writing appears in his autobiographical works: A Story Teller's Story (1924); Tar: A Midwest Childhood (1926); and Sherwood Anderson's Memoirs (1942). His writings influenced Edwin Arlington Robinson, whose poems were popularized in the late 1960's and early 1970's by Simon and Garfunkel (e.g., "Richard Cory" and "A Most Peculiar Man.") In short, Anderson has been reincarnated as Deirdre in the late 20th Century and is writing short stories for a.s.s., focusing on sex rather than industrialization, but retaining his emphasis on moods and psychology rather than explicit events. College students in literature courses who follow this newsgroup should take an offbeat story by Deirdre and begin their term paper thus: "If Sherwood Anderson were alive today, I think he would write about the effects of sex rather than industrialization on the lives of men and women in contemporary society. For example, a typical Sherwood Anderson plot would... {and then summarize in concise but vivid detail your favorite Deirdre story. As you do so, follow the rules of the Little Brown Handbook rather than Celestial Grammar, since you'll want to throw your prof off the track.} If anyone does this, please let me know what happens. Now where else on the 'Net can you get this kind of fascinating information while you're looking for a sexual release? For all you know, this might come up on Jeopardy next week! "Always Daddy's Girl" by Jon Lewiston (berylg@teleport.com). This is an exceptionally well written story. A young girl has been kept from seeing her father by the mother who dumped him. The mother is essentially a bad parent, who runs around a lot with several boyfriends, and generally tries to poison the daughter's mind against her father. When the father finally gets the daughter (age 12) to stay with him for a prolonged time, he finds himself having a sexual relationship with her. The sex is not the leering type of incest story that often appears in the a.s.s. postings, but rather a description of a sensitive and mature relationship. If I didn't have an inherent bias against pedophile/incest stories, I would have said to myself that this is the way things should be. I *do* have such a bias, and I still wasn't upset by this story. I firmly believe that if in real life you are having sexual relations with your children or if as a child this happened to you, you should seek professional help. The problem with a good story like this is that it gives a loophole for people who are involved in a less-than-idea relationship to ignore the possibility of exploitation and to rationalize that they are just like the characters in this story. Nothing bad happened to these people, they say, and so nothing bad will happen to us. Remember: the main reason nothing bad happens to the people in this story is because the author could act like God and write the story that way. All of this is not to say that this kind of story should be suppressed; I am merely urging you to distinguish between fantasy and real life. Society needs its laws and there are good reasons to discourage and even prohibit fathers from bedding their daughters. That's because most parents in such relationships in real life are abusing their power over their children, and such stories usually have unhappy endings in real life. In the world of fiction, however, we can suspend reality and believe that it really is possible for policemen to chase criminals at high speeds along the sidewalks of major cities without hurting anyone. We don't even give a thought to the notion that some of the people John Wayne or Arnold Schwarznager kill would have children who would miss them. We can believe that it is possible to pull a pin out of a hand grenade with one's teeth and throw the projectile accurately fifty yards, destroying the enemy soldiers who could not slay that thrower with their obviously more powerful automatic weapons. We can even believe that Shoeless Joe Jackson can come back to life to play baseball on a field of dreams in Iowa. We can believe that demons can possess beautiful women on soap operas, while people around them are losing their memories and changing their personalities and engaging in serial polygamy at the drop of a dildo. If we can suspend reality enough to believe and enjoy all this, then surely we can without pangs of conscience enjoy a sensitive description of a relationship built upon what is normally taboo in real life. "The Andy Griffith Show" by Shelby Bush. This is part 1 of 2 in the Porno TV series. As Gomer Pyle would say, "Goooooolly! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!" I was expecting satire, but instead I found a pretty good, humorous, romantic story. This is good wholesome sex - the family way. Everybody stays in character - except that they have hormones. Opie makes it with the little girl at the swimming whole. Barney finally gets inside Thelma Lou's pants. And Andy makes love to Helen Crump after the rehearsal on the eve of their wedding! I enjoyed the "Mayberry" stories that I reviewed a couple of weeks ago, but this one was even better. There's more yet to come. Ernest T. Bass is in town; and Gomer and Guber are sure to want in on the action. Stay tuned. "Anna" by Michelle D. Lurker. This was a truly delightful story. I don't want to tell you too much about it, because the enjoyment lies in finding out what's going to happen next. Basically, a young man is living with a young woman who is his friend but not his lover. The relationship is strained, and both are confused. One day she is granted a magic wish, and she wishes that something would happen to make their relationship better. Poof! He becomes an extremely attractive woman, and the plot begins to thicken. Don't miss it! "Aerobics Is Good for Your Sex Life" by Wyvern (an6445@anon.penet.fi). This story was reposted as part of the collection from the "Vault," under the title aerobics.sty. However, I have had terrible luck getting complete stories from that series, and so I cannot recommend getting other stories from that source. Maybe that service will improve. It sounds like a good idea. Here's a review of the one story I did download. Imagine that you are an overweight, middle-aged man who has decided to get his act together by doing some exercise before his heart stops functioning completely. I know this will be a stretch for most male readers of these reviews, who are almost unanimously young, virile, and amorous hunks. But for the sake of discussion, assume that you were such a person and you signed up for aerobics at the local YMCA and the cute young aerobics instructor made you an offer you couldn't resist. To wit, as the lawyers say: if the party of the first part would meet his weight goals by a designated date, that party would be invited to the rustic cabin of the party of the second part for a weekend of fun and frolic as a reward for his good behavior. Not a bad idea! Needless to say, the protagonist meets his goals and becomes a veritable stud. Let's hear it for positive reinforcement! The author presents the story very well, and the sex (which he refers to as vanilla) is actually pretty hot. I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Maybe YMCA's would be a lot more popular if they had more programs of this kind. "Arresting Officer" by Ann Douglas (an309642@anon.penet.fi). When I started this story about police officers busting a bunch of prostitutes, I thought I knew exactly where it was going; but the story surprised me. If I tell you too much about this story, I'll run the risk of ruining it for you. All I'll say here is that it's well written and creative. "Athens" by Dorvis Slaughter. When I think of "boy lovers," I usually don't have pleasant thoughts. The idea of a dirty old man seducing a sweet young boy is a real turn-off to me. Then I come across a story like this, and it makes me stop and think. First, let me say that in spite of minor errors that could be cleaned up with a more careful proofreading, this is an extremely well written story. The language flows naturally, the mood is set beautifully, and I had the feeling that I was really understanding the emotions that were being expressed. In addition, if I approach the story purely as a case study of a man who likes to have sex with attractive little boys, it's an excellent case study. A person who wants to understand (but not condone) child molesters would be well advised to read this story in order to more completely understand the mind of "boy lovers." Aha! I've called them child molesters! I've entered a moral judgment, which the author said in his disclaimer is unfair. Not really. I get the feeling that although he sees some ambiguity, the author pretty clearly approves of the activity of the protagonist of this story; and so he is inviting the possibility of disagreement. Most people in our society disagree with the author. I personally don't like to have to live with the idea that my sister has to watch out so that the nice young man who coaches her son's baseball team isn't left alone with her son too often, for fear that he might decide to "love" the boy. The notion that the sex in this story is a "consensual" activity is ambiguous; our society assumes that adults are capable of mature judgment and sexual consent, whereas children are not. (This is obviously a wrong assumption in many cases; but that's the way the laws are written.) I know several children who have gotten into emotional trouble as the result of almost exactly the kind of "romance" described in this story. On the other hand, I hasten to point out, that although they experienced serious emotional difficulty, most of them eventually grew into mature, sexually happy adults. Enough! This story is either a good case study, an interesting story about a romance between a child and an adult, a dangerous story that could encourage people to consent to highly inappropriate activities, or a combination of all of these. But it's a good story. "Birthday" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). I guessed the plot of this one! Or at least I think I did. At the end of the story, neither I nor the narrator can say for sure exactly what happened. The female narrator (who has led a pretty straight sex life) decides to let her husband (who has spoken favorably about bondage) do anything she wants to her on his birthday. Since she is embarrassed to bring the topic up to him, she conveys this message to him in a letter, which she types at the office and gives to her secretary to mail; and subsequently she receives a typed reply from him, giving her detailed instructions. "Aha!" says I. "The secretary may have never mailed the letter at all. She may have read it herself and written her own reply. I should be a rocket scientist! The secretary is going to have her way with the boss!" Well, maybe. The woman follows the instructions, and mysterious but sexy things happen to her at the designated time and place. But the husband never brings it up again, and their sex lives remain status quo. So, was it really somebody else - perhaps even a group of ribald fun lovers known only to the secretary? Or was it really the husband who fucked her brains out? Is he playing dumb to make it more fun? What's really great about this story is that even though I read it from the perspective that I thought I had figured out the secret, it's really impossible to tell what actually happened. This impossibility arises not because the story is written in a confusing manner (as is the case with many stories), but because Deirdre has written the details in such a way as to support either theory. This is a very clever and sexy story. Incidentally, as you may recall, I have a theory that Deirdre is really Sherwood Anderson reincarnated in the body of a late 20th century smut writer (perhaps as either a reward or punishment for what he did to the people of Clyde, Ohio). One of my readers has suggested that he sees more O. Henry than Sherwood Anderson in Deirdre's stories. However, this reader's suggestion that I am wrong is misguided. I'll stand by my Sherwood Anderson theory, but I'll admit that there is a distinct possibility of O. Henry's influence - perhaps in Deirdre's maternal ancestry. This story exemplifies that influence. "Blind Date" by Roger P. Tipe. This is a story about what happens when a guy and a girl who have been meeting online and talking about intimate things meet for their first blind date in real life. There's actually little probability that a couple could match up so perfectly and safely have such hot sex in a Denny's restaurant and in a car in the parking lot with five horny onlookers jerking off; but the writer does a great job of convincing me that this sure would be fun. The author spends a lot of time on the build-up, but even this non-sex time is pretty hot with anticipation. Once the sex gets going, it's really pretty hot. "Bob's Massage" by Rajah Dodger (an179705@anon.penet.fi). Bob is suffering from pain in his back, and a friend recommends a massage. The message makes him feel even better than he expected, as the masseuse shows considerable ingenuity in bringing him to sexual climaxes. You can read the story to find the extremely interesting details. I have a friend who is a physical therapist and gives massages at a health club. She gets really pissed when people make snide remarks about her occupation; so I should point out that in the real world the experience described in this story is unlikely to happen. In fact, it probably actually happens less often than students are molested by horny English teachers. Wives and girlfriends can safely assume that when a guy goes to a physical therapist, he will receive physical - not sexual - therapy. On the other hand, what happens in this story is a really great fantasy! In addition, readers should note that what this therapist does is perfectly legal among consenting adults in the privacy of their own bedrooms. In fact, I know of one bedroom where someone may experience something very close to this shortly after I finish writing this review. "The Case of the Tingling Clitoris" by Dr. Watson. A client's innocence can be established only by demonstrating her sexual prowess. How will Sherlock Holmes accomplish this? And did you know that the master detective once authored a small monograph on the recognition and cleaning of hundreds of fabrics from the stains left by sexual activities, whether autoerotic or communal? This latter information was quite valuable to Dr. Watson, who engaged in certain manual activities while observing the proceedings from a secluded spot nearby. Superb story! "Catty Corner" by Sue. I loved this story. So many writers on a.s.s. can describe hot sex; but Sue has the knack of putting it into the context of a really creative story. This one comes with a double whammy - a voyeur watching a voyeur and then the voyeurs watching each other. I just resolved earlier today to be a little rougher in my ratings. I also resolved to give my husband a break from passion tonight. Oh, well; there go my resolutions. "Celeste" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). From its title I assumed this would be a story about a naked naughty nympho teenage cheerleader having midair sex with her skydiving coach before landing in a cucumber patch and doing the wild thing with the horny St. Bernard dog that was accompanying the two nuns who were fucking the brains out of the altar boys behind the barn. I was wrong. This story is one of the best treatments of human emotions that I have read in a long time. I literally both laughed out loud and wept while I read this story. Then I just felt like cuddling up with my husband, who was watching Rambo or some godawful thing on TV. At first I was upset that this story was titled "Celeste," but now I feel honored. "Coffee" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). When housewives/mothers get their last preschooler off to school and finally have some time on their hands, what do you men think they do? They gather for coffee, of course. Do you really think they sit around and drink coffee, or is it more likely that they engage in kinky sex? Guess!! Actually, in real life they drink coffee while watching either soaps or talk shows until Jeopardy comes on. But that's not the way this story tells it! "College Reunion" by Deidre Ng. Deidre did something that I strongly recommend. She *revised* her story before she reposted it. What I am going to do in this review is read both versions and try to detect what improvements occur in the revision. If this doesn't work or if I think it will become incredibly boring to readers, I'll just zap out these sentences. The first version, unfortunately, earned a rating of 10. Unfortunately, because I didn't see how she could improve on it. I was hoping that she would get a 6 and really improve it through revisions, and we could use this as a lesson to budding authors. The punctuation of this first version was a little rough - it would earn a D in format and an A in content from a good English teacher with hormones. But I was so attracted by the content that I chose to ignore these errors, because they didn't really distract me; and I am not under the delusion that the forte of either Ng sister is punctuation anyway (although I have heard that on her own word processor Tammy uses the Spanish upside-down exclamation point, because it's more of a turn-on than the traditional Anglo version). On the other hand, it would be polite for her to proofread and correct the errors. What she did well in the original version of this story was maintain sexual tension. I guess the story would be better if I knew the reason why it was appropriate for her friend to open the door and immediately start sexual foreplay with her friend. Is this something the two women had done before, perhaps when they were roommates in college? Had they always been attracted and only now chosen to act upon their attraction? Had one or both of them previously been involved in a heterosexual relationship? Answers to these questions could make the story even better. We'll see. I have now read the second version, and the improvements were outstanding. In retrospect, now that I've seen the improvements, I should have giving the original a lower rating; but it *was* pretty good compared to other stories. I would have to change my rating scale to reflect this improvement. The grammatical errors are gone, but in addition she has improved the *content* of the story by answering questions like those I raised in the previous paragraph. It has to give an author a warm feeling inside to achieve this level of improvement. (Of course, a warm feeling inside seems to be a chronic phenomenon for Deidre, if you know what I mean.) With Deidre's permission, I am going to repost the original version at the same time I post this review. The value of this will be that authors interested in improving their own writing can compare the two to notice the improvements. If you want to read only one version of a good story, you should find the revision, which was posted a few days ago as "Sisters Ng: College Reunion by Deidre Ng." The first draft was good sex. The second was a good story, plus even better sex. "Craftsmanship" by Sue. I always save Sue's stories for a time when I'll have time to relish and enjoy her imagery. The writers of many of the previous stories could benefit from reading and imitating Sue's style. (They could also use the occasion for some private foreplay.) In this story Sue makes passionate love to the glass blower, after she (literally) blows a phallus that he later uses to ravage her cunt. Actually, Sue says it better than I did. If you analyze them really carefully, Sue's fantasies probably would make no more sense in real life than those in the previous stories. After all, what sensible girl would want to watch a muscular young man engaged in his trade, then seduce him by having him help her blow and shape a glass phallus, then have him insert that still warm phallus into her well-primed most private parts, then be driven completely out of her mind by a blazing hot orgasm when he inserts the real thing, then suck his gorgeous cock that seems to fit so well into the environs of this shop surrounded by erotic art that her lover has himself produced until he explodes into a gigantic orgasm that she cannot contain? Or what red-blooded guy would take delight in being used in this way by a lewd and lascivious woman, interested in driving her partner into a state of raging ecstasy only because she thinks that he will respond in a way that will contribute to her own self-gratification? For that matter, who would even want to read about such things? Probably only people like those befuddled readers who are tempted right now to cast this review into temporary electronic oblivion and go find this hot, sexy story. But somehow, Sue manages to use words and give rationales that make it all seem worth fantasizing about. "Debt" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). I usually read one of Deirdre's stories, pause thoughtfully, and then write my review. This time I thought I'd try writing it while I read the story. Here goes. The doorbell rings and the guy answers the door. One of the two women whom he meets says, "We're here because Claire lost a bet and has to pay up." As soon as she says that, the other girl drops to her knees in front of the man, unzips his fly, and begins sucking his cock. This is an example of what the old literature texts used to call in medias res - starting the story with a plunge directly into the action. Anyway, after the blowjob the guy listens at his door and hears the two women going to the next apartment, which is inhabited by the fair Diane. Further eavesdropping reveals a major gambling problem: Claire also appears to be eating Diane out to pay a debt. Next our hero and Diane get invited to dinner with Claire and Shannon. Shortly after dessert is served, the other two women dive under the table; and one starts sucking the guy's cock, while the other is invisibly doing a job on Diane, who is seated at the opposite end of the table. At this point it is not clear whether the problem is compulsive gambling, an eating disorder, or simple nymphomania. As the story reaches its denouement, we discover that the other two women have made it their personal project (apparently as a result of an unspecified bet) to get the guy and Diane into the sack together and to become their servants, with the goal of enhancing the sexual happiness of the new couple. The guy seems to like all this but can't quite figure out what's going on - which is pretty much my own reaction to the story. Another weird but excellent tale from Deirdre! "DNA" by Stephanie.(an266891@anon.penet.fi). About every two weeks I get an e-mail message from someone saying, "I know you don't like TG stories, but would you mind reviewing this one?" Actually, my record with TG stories is pretty good: I think I've read six of them and rated all of them 8 or better. The reason I don't review more of them is simply a matter of time: there are a lot of other stories that I need to read and review. In addition, the good TG stories that I've read have been rather long - but worthwhile. What appeals to me most about these stories is that they tend to be clever: they examine interesting "what if" possibilities in creative ways. "DNA," like several other TG stories explores the question, "What would it be like if a man were suddenly transposed into a woman's body?" These role-reversal stories almost always look at how a guy (or girl) feels when he/she is forced to deal with events from the perspective of the previously opposite gender. This is fun, but the basic plot has been tried many times, and it could become boring. What seems to make the idea persist is that authors look for creative complications to interject into the plot. This story has several creative ideas. At the beginning of the story the young man gets turned into a clone of his female boss's beautiful teenage niece by a genetically engineered virus that alters the recipient's DNA. The first interesting complication is that when the boss needs someone to look after the guy/girl while she's away from the house, the only eligible candidate is the niece herself. So we have the guy/girl being looked after by a girl who is essentially his/her genetic twin. Next the guy/girl gets seduced by the boss's boyfriend. Not too unusual so far - but suddenly it becomes apparent that the virus can be sexually transmitted, and so the boyfriend starts to mutate into another clone of the niece. "Fortunately," the mad scientist manages to inject a different strand of DNA into her soon-to-be-former boyfriend. This terminates his transformation midway - so this guy/girl has the upper body of a woman and the lower body of a man, but a different man than his original self. (Incidentally, all intellectual powers seem to remain those of the original owners, although emotions tend to shift with the body parts.) Interestingly, I found several points in this story when a character became angry and could have shouted to someone else, "You can just go and fuck yourself!" This could be taken as a literal rather than metaphorical statement - in more ways than one. You'll have to read the story to figure out what I'm talking about. One unrealistic element is that when Julie gets transformed to Jim, her brain continues to reside in her head, instead of where it resides in most men. If, like most Americans, you had a really bad biology course in high school, you will have the good fortune of thinking that the biological aspects of the story are at least remotely realistic. On the other hand, if you are like most a.s.s. readers (intellectually as well as sexually acute and inclined to be skeptical about simplistic ideas) or went to school in New Zealand, you'll realize that even if viruses and DNA worked the way they do in this story, the rest of the human body wouldn't. Don't let that bother you. Consider the story to be science fiction, and know only what the author wants you to know. Perhaps I'm making this sound too complex - almost silly. That's the value of a story like this - it *is* silly, but silly in a very clever way. I'm not going to tell you any more about the plot. Read it yourself. I'm pretty sure the virus cannot be transmitted through the Internet - except for AOL users using Windows 95. In that case, however, you already have problems that are much more serious than having your gender changed. ~Subject: Celeste's Top 100 Reviews (D-H) ~From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) ~Date: 28 Dec 1995 11:06:26 -0500 ~Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories Celestial Reviews of Top 100 Stories of 1995 (D-H) Note: Unless I noticed something that obviously needed to be changed, these reviews are the same as they appeared in the original issues of Celestial Reviews. In a few cases this means that there will be redundancies or references to other reviews that are not inlcuded in this reposted series. The reviews are arranged alphabetically by title (ignoring initial articles - a, an, the). "Double Trouble" by Rondu. To understand and enjoy this story, it is important to realize that it is science fiction. If readers don't understand the rules of this imaginary world, the story comes across as sheer nonsense or as advice to do things that are threatening to children. As part of the author's literary style, the rules of this imaginary world are not stated up front; rather they become obvious as the story unfolds.. However, I don't think I am ruining the story by telling you these rules. Here they are. The main characters in this story live in a world where the following changes are made in the laws governing human nature: (1) One twin is able to communicate through mental telepathy, even across great distances. He can tune into other people's brain waves pretty much at will; and they can communicate reciprocally with him, if he wants this to happen. (2) The other twin has extraordinary powers of empathy. He can understand the emotions of other people better than those persons can themselves - but only if he is in their immediate presence. (3) At least one adult authority figure (the narrator of the story) can engage in sexual intimacies with 9-year-old children without any negative side effects whatsoever. In all other respects, their world closely resembles that of Western civilization around the end of the 20th century. Reputable scientists would deny the validity of all three of these premises; but once we assume that they are true in this imaginary world, we have a pretty interesting story. The story is well written. The author writes with an obvious admiration for and understanding of many of the joys of childhood - not just sex with children. The narrator comes across as a mixture of an adult who is still a child and a dysfunctional man who cannot relate to little boys without focusing on the beauty of their tight little asses and longing to have sex with them. In normal society this person would perhaps be dangerous, but in this imaginary world he provides the basis for interesting complications that go well beyond ordinary pedophile stories. These complexities build around the question of how an adult who is attracted to them would interact with a pair of children whose psychic powers have enabled them to achieve an unusual combination of sexual maturity and innocence. I'm sure there are flaws in the logic of this story, just like there are flaws in most good science fiction involving children, including Peter Pan, E.T, and the various time travel movies.; but these flaws occur largely because of the complexity imposed by the three rule changes. It's just plain hard to imagine a world like this - largely because most reasonable people have see legitimate dangers in ordinary pedophile behavior. The third rule requires that we temporarily cancel in our minds one of the main taboos of our society - a taboo that nearly all social scientists would say has a great deal of validity behind it. In other words, to enjoy this story, it is necessary to suspend reality enough to believe this all could really happen and to read the story without automatically asserting that this is the way that children "should" or "should not" grow up in the real world. If you do this, you'll find a good story. If you read it as a "really great tale about how this old guy screwed a couple of children," it's a pretty weak story. "The Draft" by Michelle Lurker (an173204@anon.penet.fi). This story takes place in a society 200 years in the future. Paul is drafted by the military and is informed that the enemy has conducted secret chemical attacks against the nation. The aim of the attacks was to destroy the nation's population by rendering most of the females infertile. The nation's genetic engineers have found a process by which they think they can genetically re-engineer males into fertile female and thereby reverse this insidious decline in the population. Paul has been selected to be re-engineered into a prototype female, so that his nation's society can continue! When Paul is first transformed into Paula, we discover that female society has regressed to the 1950's. Her new father acts just like Dad on "Father Knows Best" - even referring to Paula as Princess. Society has become an anti-utopia - much like that found in Orwell's "1984." Paula seems to have forgotten her previous existence as Paul and to be resigned to her role as a flaky, subservient female; but then an incident happens that causes her to recover her memory. At this point it becomes more appropriate to think of the protagonist as Paul within Paula's body. And then the Underground commandos come to rescue her... But I don't want to disclose any more of the plot. From the perspective of transgender stories, this one is unique in the respect that the person goes from completely male (but not a hunk) to completely female (and quite a beauty) before returning to the state of the male in the female body. From the perspective of just plain science fiction, it's a pretty good story - but with a lot of questions unanswered. From the perspective of a hot sex story, it's still a pretty good science fiction story with a lot of questions unanswered. In other words, if you're looking for material to heighten your immediate sexual passion, you should look elsewhere; but if you want to spend some time exploring some interesting possibilities about masculine and feminine personalities and their roles in society, this is an excellent story. The story does an excellent job of exploring the personality of Paul/Paula. I thought this was a superb story. "Dreamwalk" by Delta. Have you ever had one of those dreams that seemed so vivid that you weren't sure whether you were awake or not? And then you decide to wake up and you think you have awakened; but you're not sure, because maybe you only dreamed you woke up. The man in this story is approached in the middle of the night by a mysterious, beautiful neighbor who informs him that he is in her dream - and a nice, hot dream it is. Delta maintains the necessary mixture of reality and unreality beautifully. Where does she get ideas like this? Another excellent story. "Dunes" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). A beautiful woman catches the attention of two men on the beach. Both are heterosexual, and one of them is married (or at least in a permanent relationship with a woman). The goddess draws them to a secluded area and then offers to have sex with them if she can first watch them having sex with each other. What will they do? How will this affect the man's relationship with his wife/lover? This is a strange but fascinating story by Deirdre, who was Sherwood Anderson in a former life. "Ellen" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). What a relief! For a while there, I thought maybe I was getting too picky. After so many 10's in Celestial Reviews 15, I was on a string of stories that were not bad, but also not really excellent. This one *is* really excellent. The common theme in all of the stories I have read by this author is a person at first under-valuing another person and then falling deeply in love with that person. (I guess some diversity would be good. Nothing in these stories really surprises me, once I know who the author is. If this sounds monotonous, just don't read too many of this author's romantic stories in one week.) In this case, the story is told from the perspective of the woman, who is older and more experienced than the man. The sex in this story is both tender and hot by any standard. However, what I liked best about this story was its intelligent treatment of an adult virgin's initiation into sexual activity. Having participated in such an activity myself, I am sometimes annoyed when a.s.s. authors tend to treat rapists, pedophiles, and enthusiasts of D&s, water sports, and all kinds of other activities as normal and adult virgins as freaks. (Don't flame me. I'm not down on D&s or water sports. Read on!) I do not mean this as criticism of non-virgins. This is not a call to repent! I truly see no harm in fantasizing about and participating in a wide range of sexy activities; and I do not demand that everyone subscribe to my own value system. But I would like to request simple equality for virgins. Not all of us who made it to adulthood as virgins are destined to be permanently less responsive sexually than those who started doing it when they were twelve or thirteen years old (nor, I might add, are we necessarily morally superior). All I am saying is that pre-marital virginity is a viable lifestyle choice and actually a pretty good choice in the modern world; and my husband and I have had the audacity to recommend it for our children. There really can be something beautiful in having one's first sexual experience occur as part of a loving and consensual adult relationship. (Hell, I actually married the guy before we made love! Why should I have to be embarrassed about that? Our relationship has worked out wonderfully.) Why are there no stories at all on a.s.s. about people who wait till they are married to have sex? I'm not demanding that people adopt this practice - just recommending it over some other alternatives. Anyhow, this story does a good job of describing such a first experience - and lots of subsequent "firsts." The sexually experienced woman at first thinks she will control her partner or at least have to teach her inexperienced lover about sex, and he also initially subscribes to this belief; but by the end of the story it becomes obvious that he is bringing as much to this really hot relationship as she is. "Fashion" by Deirdre. A man is introduced to a fashion model by a relatively plain woman. He marries the model but then has an affair with the woman who introduced them. The sex with the plain woman is even more exciting than that with the exotic model. This is a completely different type of story than I am used to seeing from Deirdre. There is no hint of mind control and the story scores low on the kinkiness scale. It's really a good, interesting story of a romance. An excellent story. "Film at Eleven" by Sue (SueNH@aol.com). During her vacation in Maine, Sue is invited to visit a sexy couple she met earlier in the day. She agrees to videotape them while they make love. The sex gets really hot, and Sue describes it vividly and in minute detail. At the climax, Sue herself gets into the act by fondling Bart's cock while it's inside Nina's cunt. This makes it possible for Sue also to diddle Nina's G-spot at the same time. And Sue manages to record this entire activity on videotape! Is this activity actually possible? If anyone tries it successfully, let me know - but it sure sounds sexy! Oh - and Sue mistakenly refers to Bart as Gary once. Gotcha! Of course, I've never done that to my husband, but he does call me Sue once in a while in the heat of passion. The videotaping theme provides an excuse for Sue to describe details of the sexual encounter that would normally be superfluous. For example, she describes such things as facial expressions and skin texture of the labia and around the ass. There would be little justification for these descriptions in a normal narrative; but in the context of this story they become quite sensual. "The Final Mission" by Spook (Spook95613). Movies get rated "not for children" if they contain too much sex and violence. This story would probably qualify for censorship on the basis of its sex alone, but violence is its main credential. However, it's not stupidly gratuitous sex and violence; there's also a meaningful plot to which the sex and violence make legitimate contributions. What embarrasses me is that some Neanderthal is going to read this story and say, "Hanging the girl on a meat hook and taking her picture after killing her with agonizing slowness! That's really a neat idea! Why didn't I think of that?" As I read this story, I saw a good combination of sexiness, dedication, courage, intelligence, and violence that kept me constantly interested in the plot. Let me warn you that this is a long story; and if you're looking for hot sex for a quick turn-on, you might want to look elsewhere. My husband is a Rambo fan, and I've learned to tolerate that genre (largely through classical conditioning - pleasant sensations have tended to develop during commercials and lulls in the action). He liked this story, and so did I. There are a few minor problems. For example, the heroine would have been caught and killed long before she could have accomplished anything, except that she stumbled across a duffel or gym bag that the fiendish enemy had carelessly left where she could find it. Just another coincidence to keep the story going! Both Thomas Hardy and Mark Twain were notorious for such coincidences; but I like it better when there's a little less reliance on such events. In addition, I simply assumed that the military technology and planning made sense; it sounded good, but I don't know much about those topics. I'm not a Sweet SOU or anything - although I hear that's going to be a requirement for the next generation of English teachers. "For Bruce" by Mercury. As a reviewer, I have felt required to read and be objective about stories that don't fit my own lifestyle. This story makes that job easy. It's a beautiful, poetic reminiscence by a man about his former lover. This may be obvious to most of you, but what occurred to me as I was reading this was that my "lifestyle" isn't all that different. I could insert my own hetero lover into this story in place of Bruce, and the story still made perfect sense. The story was not very explicit, and I still don't really know what happened; but that's what gives it its haunting beauty. "Foreign Affair" by Ann Douglas. Regular readers of my reviews already know this, but I'll say it again. The main strength of Ann Douglas as a writer is that even in a very short sex story she can give personality to her characters. Her characters have fun having sex; and they even have a reason for doing so! In addition, she pays attention to details that add authenticity to her stories. In the present case, she seems to give a faithful presentation of a realistic Japanese setting. In this story Amanda McIntyre is spending several lonely days in Japan. She is an avowed lesbian who is treated as an outcast by the good ole boys from her company, and she is being set up to take the blame if the business deal falls through. She meets a very attractive and sensuous Japanese woman and shares intimacies with her. You'll probably guess the ending while you read the story, but I don't want to spoil it for you by telling you more now. It's a really hot story. Kinda makes you wanta grab your harigata and go to town. "Found Out!" by Troy (ids@sojourn.com). This is a story about a normal man. His wife has died, and he has children. This is, I think, the third story I have read on a.s.s. where a person has children without having sex with them. Anyhow, this guy is a normal man whose wife has died and he's trying to live a normal life, which includes having cybersex with Donna, whose hot fantasies send him to bed happy at night. I honestly think both Ann Landers and Dear Abby would approve. I mean, holy cumshot! - he even got the idea to check out the internet from a soccer mom at one of his son's games. The guy even meets the new love of his life when she falls into his lap when the bus jerks violently on a school-sponsored field trip. I love it! This is a really hot, sexy story about a person who leads a very normal life. I hope this author writes more stories as good as this one. "Freebie" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). A woman gives her husband for his birthday five coupons that say: "Give this ticket to Jeannie Greene and she will immediately and silently perform one oral sex act on her knees, any time, any place, no questions asked." Interesting premise! Read the story to find out what happens to the tickets. "Fun with Dick and Jane" by Sue (SueNH@aol.com) As we left Sue last week at the end of "Gee Spot Run," Sue had used her erotic fiction as a basis to enrich the fantasy life and masturbation abilities of a repressed housewife. As our story resumes in this sequel, Sue has been invited to Jane's house for dinner, where she meets her husband Dick and a stuffy friend of theirs named Charles. When Jane blurts out that Sue is a writer of erotica, the men scoff at Sue. They think she is merely a Barbara Cartland type. Sue rises to the challenge and offers to read one of her stories out loud, with the agreement that its quality will be measured by Charles's peter meter, which at the time was easily hidden beneath the napkin on his lap. So Sue read from "Louvre Love." Actually, this was a bad choice, since (as we all know) this particular story received a modest rating of 7.5 in Celestial Reviews, whereas most of Sue's stories are 10's. I think "Here Cums Santa" or "To Serve and Protect" would have been better choices. Perhaps Sue made this choice deliberately, to avoid straining Charles's gauge, which probably wasn't capable of registering a 10. To make a long story short, the story works; but alas, Dick dislikes perversion and refers to Sue as a cunning temptress. (Had I been there, of course, he would have referred to me as a cunning linguist. But I think either epithet would fit Sue accurately.) Jane defends her friend's reputation, and soon tendrils of pleasure are racing around Sue's body while Charles begins to fuck her and Jane observes unobtrusively. Enough! You'll have to read the story yourself to find out who comes how often and where and whether Dick finally overcomes his inhibitions and has fun with Jane. This is an excellent story, only minimally reminiscent of the book of the same title that many of usread when we were in the first grade. This story (combined with this review) will be especially useful for cunning linguists or for students whose teachers require them to look up and use a word a day. I mean, in addition to ribald sex, this story is full of tendrils, epithets, and ogling - as well as a vivid reference to the Louvre - which, of course, is located near the Champs Elysee. "Gee Spot Run" by Sue (SueNH@AOL.com). I consider this story to exemplify what the preceding story was missing. (Note that I have already given the other story a high rating; so don't take this as overly critical of that story.) The big difference is that in this story the protagonists have a *reason* for having sex. When Sue meets a casual friend and gets into a deep conversation, she discovers that the woman is sexually repressed. To help out, she discloses the fact that she is an author of highly regarded sex stories and offers to let her friend read some of them. Sue goes off to take a shower and leaves her friend reading "Craftsmanship," which readers of these reviews will recognize as one of the stories I often cite as an example of hot, well-written erotica. Well, I was right in rating that story a 10; because when Sue returns from the shower the woman is in the throes of masturbation that was instigated by reading the story. The woman is embarrassed, but Sue comforts her thus: "Even when I'm writing the stories, I get so turned-on sometimes that I have to stop typing so that I can reach down and rub my cunt for a big orgasm. And when I read other people's stories, I usually masturbate. I'm sorry that you feel bad about what you were doing, and I'm even more sorry that I interrupted you. So I'm going to leave the room again so that you can finish what you started." But alas, the woman has a learning disability: she doesn't know how to masturbate very well. She feels that the characters in Sue's stories achieve heights of ecstasy that she has never reached. Like a true humanitarian clinician, Sue reluctantly offers further assistance. The two masturbate in each other's presence, and her friend learns by observing the genius at work. The descriptions are hot and vivid. Not only does Sue's friend figure out how to do it right; I also managed to eliminate a few bugs from my own system. (However, there are a few things I could teach Sue too.) This is a really hot story. At the end, we are left with the impression that Sue's friend will probably get over her inhibitions and with the promise that we can find out what happened later by reading Sue's next story, "Fun with Dick and Jane." "Good Grief" by Sue (SueNH@aol.com). I often hear the refrain, "All those fuckin' stories on a.s.s. are the same!" Every once in a while, I start to believe it and think that I have seen (or read about) everything. Then I run across a story like this to reinforce my belief in creativity. I don't know what I can tell you about this story without ruining the plot for you. The action takes place in a cemetery and in a motel shortly after the funeral of the narrator's close friend. The sex is both tender and hot. You'll just have to read this excellent story to find out the details. "The Good Neighbor" by Delta (an248969@anon.penet.fi). Stories like this simply don't appear on alt.sex.stories - at least not very often. Stories like this appear in literature books, written by either Russian or German authors - or at least by European existentialists. The plot unfolds slowly through the eyes of a man who plans to blow his brains out. Just when we realize that this man is truly despondent and plans to kill himself, there is a knock at the door and a woman enters the room. She is concerned about having lost her beauty, and she asks the man for his input. A little perturbed that this woman is interrupting his much more significant suicide for such trivial reasons, the man eventually decides that a final act of kindness will do no harm and might even make a difference to her; and so he tells her that she is beautiful. Very quickly the two find themselves preparing to make love, and the man who was about to commit suicide suddenly feels the need to use a condom and to put a robe on the floor to prevent either of them from getting floor burn. And so it goes Who is this woman? How will life change for the two of them? This is an excellent alt.sex.STORY. "Grey" by Lysander. In proportion to its overall length, there's actually relatively little sex in this story. Grey is the name of a woman to whom the narrator offers a ride. Throughout the first half of the story they drive across the country for several weeks, longing for each other, but not making their mutual feelings known. Finally, they do make their feelings known to each other, and the sexual activity becomes loving and hot. There are several complications that make the story more interesting, but you can find these for yourself. I really like stories that have good character development as well as hot sex, and this is one of those stories. "Help" by Deirdre. Let's take another shot at predicting a Deirdre plot from the title. Help. It could be about THE help, as in the people we hire to work for us. Or it could mean Help! - as in "I'm in deep shit up to my chin; somebody get me out of this mess!" More likely, however, it's about somebody helping somebody else over come initial resistance and get turned on to some sort of sexual practice. I'll bet on this third possibility. OK. At the very beginning of the story I found out that a person (presumably a guy) is standing in line at a checkout counter and starts eying a girl in the next line. The woman behind him offers to help him get a date and have sex with that girl, but only on the condition that afterwards the guy will help the woman have sex with the girl. At least now I know I'm not going to be dealing with perversion of some kind! Let me conclude by saying that the title was appropriate and this was a most creative story. "Here Cums Santa Claus" by Sue. This story is being reposted during August. The United States is suffering through a heat wave of humongous proportions. And so a Christmas story may be just what we need to cool us down. Right.... This story centers around the visit of the lovely and vivacious Sue (who looks and acts a lot like me, although she apparently has smaller breasts and nipples that respond slightly more slowly than mine do to gentle caresses) to the mall's Victoria's Secret shop at the end of a long day of Christmas shopping. Two libidinous female employees invite her to join the after hours festivities, at which she will become the Christmas present for the mall's Santa. I guess I shouldn't spoil the suspense - but the supposed imposter is the real Santa himself. (This is where Sue departs a little from reality. Her Santa is not circumcised. He was the last time I made love to him.) Sue has a lot of fun with the story, replacing the typical descriptions of sexual activity with terms and metaphors related to the Christmas season. I checked with my word processor's "find" function, and the word "musky" doesn't appear even once; and the only time "rod" occurs is in the middle of "strode," "produced," and "prodigious" - the latter not in its usual context in a sex story! Instead, the aroma emanating from his cock is "the delicate fragrance of apple blossoms and almonds, with maybe a hint of balsam fir." Santa's rotund cock is deliciously sweet and fruity. And Santa's sweet candy cane drives deeply into Sue's fiery open hearth. The only image I found to limp a little was Santa's offer to let Sue ride his North Pole. Of course, like any depraved a.s.s. writer, Sue skirts the moral issue: what about poor Mrs. Claus, waiting chastely at home at the North Pole with all those tiny but horny little elves? Nevertheless, this story managed to get the vision of Santa's "sugar plum" dancing in my head. This story definitely put me into the spirit of things, even on a hot August day. You'll have to read the story to find out what Santa said as he rose out of sight. "Hold at Minot" by Erostos. Because of my own sexual preferences, I don't actively seek out gay stories. But this author was kind enough to send me a set of six stories, most of which seem to deal with gay sex among aviators. They're delightful. The main thing they have going for them is that they put the sexual activity into a context that makes good sense. This author either *is* a pilot or he watches The Learning Channel real carefully. I particularly enjoyed the pickup lines of the gay pilot, who was basically trying to find out if the other pilot was likewise gay and interested in a liaison: "I could use an approaching warm front just about now." Or how about this reply: "...there's considerable moisture in these two converging fronts that we're gonna have to deal with over the next twenty-four hours." Or this one: "Moisture in fronts like these can build up only so far before having to release explosively." You get the picture. To a certain degree, this story breaks through the barriere (How's that for a Freudian misspelling!) between gays and heterosexuals. I mean, I would rather hear pickup lines like these than have a guy look me in the eye and say, "What's a nice girl like you doing in an airport like this? " or even whisper in my ear, "Laugh if you want me to fuck your brains out." An extremely clever and intelligent story! "Horny out of My Mind" by Frank McCoy (mccoyf@millcomm.com). About a week ago I received in my e-mail several stories from this author. Yesterday I received a follow-up message. In it the author apologized, saying that he realized that I didn't like stories like these but he hoped I would find time to read them anyway. So it was with some trepidation that I sat down 45 minutes ago with "Horny out of My Mind" on the computer screen. I was lucky the house was empty. My family would have thought I had gone crazy. Here I was in the late afternoon, laughing my head off in front of the computer! Was this author serious when he said he thought I wouldn't like stories like these? Maybe he was pulling my leg - or maybe I took his really serious story in the wrong way. As I understand it, this is a story about a young lady who gets knocked up by a friendly guy who's old enough to be her father but is really a stud and who requests his wife's permission before he has sex with his new friend. The girl gets hornier and hornier as the ensuing pregnancy progresses, and pretty soon she is screwing from sunrise to sunset and beyond. There's not much I can say about this story; the plot is summarized in the previous sentence, and superficially it sounds pretty lame. There's not even much detailed description of heavy sex activities - just clever summaries of what's happening. But I thoroughly enjoyed this story. "Hotsprings" by Delta . The author has promised to repost this story next Monday and Tuesday. I recommend that you download all the parts and enjoy this story. When Delta first started posting this story, I gave it a good review on the basis of the first two chapters and my previous experience with one of her stories. After I did that, I thought maybe I had made a mistake - not because of anything this author did but rather because I had gotten burned by a couple of other stories that started out good but faltered later. I thought maybe it would be better to avoid rating stories until they were finished. Toward the middle chapters of this story, I got even more worried; it was getting just plain silly with all these people wandering around the campsite wearing matching chokers. But in the end, my patience was rewarded. Everything fell into place. It really is a good story. The plot centers around the activities of the workers at a recreational campsite. Kat, the new business manager, is introduced as a beautiful but conniving dominatrix, who seems intent on building herself a sexual empire. Fred is introduced as a good, strong, patient man who doesn't want to play Kat's games. Big Jake is the free-spirited owner who loves his wife but also loves his freedom and lots of other women. He treats his wife, Jennie, and the other females pretty much like objects; but Jennie still loves him. And then there are about four other interesting characters. The author combines a lot of hot sex with an interesting plot (that I don't want to divulge) to make the story really interesting. (If it starts seeming silly, just repeat several times, "Celeste says this is interesting." It will become interesting again. As a matter of fact, if you're not intent on critiquing the story, you might not have this silliness reaction at all.) When I started reviewing a.s.s. stories, I didn't think I would like D&s (domination and submission) stories. I still don't have a driving urge to have my husband submit to torture whenever he disobeys me or fails to satisfy me sexually, but I have to admit that I enjoyed this story - especially the final two chapters, which are practically non-stop hot sex. Notice that I have labeled this story "D&s romance." Originally I thought the two concepts were incompatible; but I was wrong. At least in the world of fiction, they are sometimes compatible. ~Subject: Celeste's Top 100 Reviews (H-M) ~From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) ~Date: 28 Dec 1995 11:06:38 -0500 ~Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories Celestial Reviews of Top 100 Stories of 1995 (H-M) Note: Unless I noticed something that obviously needed to be changed, these reviews are the same as they appeared in the original issues of Celestial Reviews. In a few cases this means that there will be redundancies or references to other reviews that are not inlcuded in this reposted series. The reviews are arranged alphabetically by title (ignoring initial articles - a, an, the). "House" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). OK. I'm going to try again. I'll write the review *while* I read a Deirdre story and try to guess what's going to happen. At the very beginning we find out that Gwen lives alone in an extremely large house and has invited Ms. Billings inside to show it to her. I'll bet she has a sexual torture chamber in the basement! OK, I've read further, and I have found out Gwen takes in college kids borders. That means that I may have been right about the machines in the basement, but the main plot will be that Gwen has a bunch of sex slaves that serve and pamper her. The surprise ending will be that Ms. Billings will move in with Gwen as a sex slave. Ooops! The nine borders are all boys and are reputed to have girl friends. Maybe we have a simple bordello here. OK. Now one of the boys is undressing and letting Gwen and Ms. Billings fondle his genitals. My main theory is holding up all right. Ooops! One of the boys is showing off for Gwen and Jenny by sticking his cock into another boy's ass. I wasn't expecting this, but my overall theory still sounds good: sex slaves and Ms. Billings will move in. I'll skip a few details that simply confirm my hypothesis. Two girls have arrived. I think the one named Jenny is probably a recruiter and assistant mistress. The other girl, Carla, seems to be an outsider. Ms. Billing and Carla have secretly plotted to get away after dinner. But now dinner is finsihed and Carla has been missing for a long time. I think she's being recruited and will decide to stay. OK. I've read further. Still no sign of Carla, but Jenny and Randy have fucked Ms. Billings and have hidden her clothes; but she has found a key to get out of the room and is dressed in a bath robe, intending to escape. The action is getting hot and heavy. Aha! While looking for an escape route, Ms. Billings has wandered into the basement; and people are chained to the walls, and one of the girls is holding a whip! There are a few final details; but I did pretty well this time. "I Meet Toni's Mom" by Estragon. (an356608@anon.penet.fi). A young man is strongly attracted to a beautiful young woman; but when he tries to make love to her, she explains to him that this is not the way her mother taught her to do it. She explains that the purpose of men's existence is to please and serve women. They guy eagerly accepts this theory, and soon he earns (as well as a mere man can earn anything) the privilege of a visit to Mom, who begins his advanced training in submissiveness. There is very little actual sex in this story, and what sex there is is not sexy in the way I am accustomed to feeling turned on; but it's nonetheless very interesting. Overall, the story resembles a fictionalized version of a feminist philosophical tract. To wit: "I mean, look at your testicles. With hardly an effort, a woman can cause them excruciating pain. They say you're only as strong as your weakest link. Links don't come any weaker than a man's balls. So what do you men do? You make your testicles your symbol of power, your sign of virility. I admit it, it takes balls to do a thing like that." And later: "A penis and testicles have little to recommend them aesthetically. They're tools and that's it. Women's tools, but stored on {men's} bodies because women's bodies are too beautiful to be cluttered with such things." I personally don't buy the idea of the Superiority of Women - I'm willing to settle for equality; but throughout history subjugated groups have found it necessary to exaggerate their status or idealize their group in order to counter the second-class status to which they are subjected in real-life. (The Black power movement in America is another example. I doubt that Louis Farakan or Malcolm X and their followers really believe that Blacks are superior to whites. But the myth of superiority is an important component of asserting equality.) The previous sentences were philosophy; the present story is fiction. It does a good job of conveying the feeling that maybe women are at the center of the universe and men should be happy to spend their time serving women. Again, in real life I reject this notion; but by keeping it there in the back of my mind, I feel secure in automatically rejecting the dominant assertion that men are at the pinnacle of Western society. My impression is that lots of women who in real life have happy and reciprocally equal relationships with their husbands feel the same way I do about this and therefore enjoy stories like this. I myself find it a lot easier to identify with this story than with one in which the woman is the submissive person. This is because I see a value in overreacting against oppression that is not present in succumbing to oppression. Ooops - too much philosophy again. But what do I know? I'm only a woman. I felt that the main strength of the story was that it was uproariously funny - with a strong serious undertone. The mother and daughter who dominate the men in their lives do it casually and naturally, and the boys and men being dominated think their submission is perfectly acceptable - the most natural thing in the world. The story reminded me in many ways of the Greek drama Lysistrata, an antiwar play by Aristophanes, in which the women of Greece put an end to the Peloponnesian War by denying the men fighting it their sexual favors.. In both cases, the plot is simple, the language sometimes coarse, and the situations often hilarious; yet they both make a powerful philosophical statement. I think women (even those who like men) will greatly enjoy this story. I would be interested in hearing what male readers think of it. I assume that all but the most impotent and insecure men will enjoy it as well. "In Your Mouth and Mine" by Tammy Ng (deidreng@aol.com). Never in her wildest, least erotic dreams did Tammy Ng imagine that someday an English teacher would use this story as a means of regaining her faith in human nature. The story takes the form of a letter from Tammy to her somewhat less lascivious (actually, that's not saying much) sister Deidre. It has something to do with voyeurism and oral sex. For some reason my hand wandered while I was reading this story; and I have a vague, residual feeling of recent intense pleasure in my surprisingly moist nether regions. But my main impression of this story is that it was well punctuated. Not perfect, mind you, but well punctuated. As the song says, Tammy is "close enough to perfect for me." Bless you, Tammy! I needed that. (It's also a very sexy story!) "Innocent Days" by James Medley. I've always admired faithful military wives, and so I was surprised that I so much enjoyed this tale of a wife playing around while her husband was away in Vietnam. I think there were three things that made me enjoy the story: (1) The narrator presented the story as if the protagonist's action were the most natural thing in the world. (2) The metaphors were excellent. (3) The description was extremely vivid. Or maybe it's simply that the author is a just plain good writer. The action takes place in a pecan grove in Mississippi and in the nearby trailer park. And Judy makes a great pecan pie that tastes great if you eat it naked right after three-way sex. "Kachina" by Sue (SueNH@AOL.com). This is a story about a young woman who travels by water and by hiking and mountain climbing to a beautiful place in the remote wilderness and masturbates there before bedding down for the night in a cave. (Sue adds a few details that make it more interesting than my preceding sentence.) In the middle of the night she is visited by a Kachina - an ancestral Anasazi spirit-god that had come back to life. Hey! What can I say? You're going to read the descriptions of the previous four stories, and then tell me that this one is unrealistic just because a beautiful blonde woman has passionate sex with a man old enough to be her ancestor who comes alive from a painting on a cave wall? Believe what you will. I say, if Peter Pan can have Tinkerbell and if the Greeks can have Zeus and Aphrodite, then Sue can have her Kachina! Sue does an excellent job of integrating the sexual activity with the surroundings and even with a sensitivity to the ancient Native American heritage. This was a very good story. "Kate and Me: Friendship Spilled Over" by The Bear. How would I feel if my own intelligent and sensitive daughter fell deeply in love with a close friend of the family when she was 16 and he was 35? Would I be upset if they began making passionate and frequent love to one another? Yes, I guess I would be upset. But this is a story about exactly that, and it's a beautiful story. The author focuses on romance; he doesn't fool around with the formulas and rituals that so often appear in the hot sex stories. I love sexy stories that are based on something other than the cuteness of a person's ass or the size of his sex organ. Nevertheless, the sex is really hot - because it is so passionate and because we understand the reasons behind what the lovers are doing. Anyone who has been deeply in love and has wanted to do something that was obviously right but was also obviously wrong will understand the emotions expressed in this story. The author develops an atmosphere in which he mixes the moral ambiguity with the passion the two lovers feel for each other. This is a really well written, outstanding story. "Kathy" by the BEAR. This is a sensitive, well-written story about love and sex between an older man and his young female friend who becomes his lover. It contains tenderness, love, commitment and care. In an epilogue, the author gives the impression that this is based on a true story and expresses the wish that the two live "relatively happily ever after." I share that wish. Since the author obviously wants to apply this to real life, I feel an urge to express my feelings about the issues he raises. In real life I have been close friends with a young person that experienced almost exactly the same relationship as the one described in the story - only it was a young boy with his kindly and loving teacher. They were eventually discovered; and the teacher lost his job and the boy is still sexually confused nearly ten years later. Although some of our society's sexual taboos are silly and it's exciting to break them, there's a reason behind some of our taboos. When actions like those of the man in this story become public and are based on less than perfect motivations, we are usually shocked an disgusted by the "exploitations" of a "dirty old man." In my own experiences I have found that I don't always make objectively wise decisions when I'm naked, aroused, and rubbing my body against someone; and so having a rule against certain behaviors is a good idea. In addition, I think I would be legitimately upset if a kindly old man thought that my husband and I were suppressing our daughters' sexuality and decided to "set her free." The basic problem is that people with power over young people need to respect their need for autonomy and growth; and this rules out pedophilia and incest with young children. On the other hand, I may be wrong. Some young people may actually find things like this to be a growth experience. I really do think that anti-pedophiles (like myself) should consider the possibility that some people who have sex with young children actually possess some decency and dignity - instead of just demanding that their cocks be cut off. An objective reading of a story like this can help us think things out. What I do know is that I feel lot more comfortable with a great story about erotic sex among consenting adults (like Backrub's "Showoffs" cited at the beginning of this review or Sue's "Slippery When Wet," which I reviewed in Celestial Reviews 2) than with this one. Still, it was an outstanding story. I think it should be assigned reading for the people over on alt.sex.wizards or one of the religious groups, where they could use it as the basis for an intelligent discussion instead of screaming insults at one another about child molesters. "Katie & Lyn series" by Gina Marie (an242967@anon.penet.fi). In response to huge popular demand the author is reposting these stories about two teenage girls (a high school freshman and a sophomore) who become disenchanted with their boyfriends' immaturity and enchanted with one another. This is the hottest girl/girl teen sex I can remember reading. It is hot not because the descriptions are explicit (which is also true) but because the author does such a good job of building anticipation. Just knowing what's going on in Katie's mind makes the actual consummation more interesting and enjoyable. You don't have to be a lesbian to enjoy these stories. Too many young women (and, I would assume, young men too) get the irrational feeling that stories like this are dangerous because they might "become homosexuals" if they happen to enjoy the action. Baloney. Any person with hormones who does not have preset biases against these stories will enjoy them - just as any woman with hormones would enjoy Lyn's hot lips caressing her pussy. The latter mode of experimentation would certainly be ill advised for many young girls, but I hardly think the same can be said for the former. Fantasy can be fun - and understanding how *other* people react to sex can be informative. This advice is probably extremely obvious to a large number of readers, but I think it bears repeating. Neither enjoying the idea of homosexual stimulation or engaging in and enjoying real-life homosexual activities on specific occasions "makes" you a homosexual. Don't label yourself so easily; life is more complicated than that. I myself have no intention of engaging in lesbian sexual activities, because I am already devoted to a monogamous relationship. However, I found these vivid descriptions of two people growing in love and affection for each other to be intensely enjoyable. "Kevin" by Friar Dave (friar.dave@teamhbbs.com). Kevin is a 16-year-old boy with raging hormones, who has the hots for the lady next door - along with anything else with breasts and a cute butt. His almost-twelve-year-old little sister asks him some questions about sex, and Kevin gives her a basic course in sex education: "Wow. So a guy sees a woman with big boobs -- like Mrs. Howley or Carol -- and he gets a boner, and then he sticks it in the girl's... place... and shoots his semen in her, and then she gets pregnant and has a baby." She seemed amazed. "Basically, but not all the time. She's got to be fertile. She has to be menstruating and at the right time of the month." Sari nodded emphatically. "Some of the girls in my glass have monthlies. That's what they call them. So they could get pregnant?" The best parts of the story arise from the conversations between the brother and sister. Pretty quickly Sari discovers that she has power over Kevin's penis, and soon they begin experimenting. They learn to like it and spend many pleasant hours together as they grow up. First, let me point out that this is a really good story. There are good reasons why society (and parents) balk at incest. There really are genetic problems that are vastly more likely to occur when brothers and sisters have babies together, and so incest taboos have their point. However, this story seemed more like healthy sexual experimentation rather than incestuous behavior. (I would have been happier if this well educated young man would have slid a condom onto his penis before he inserted it into his sister. Getting pregnant by your father or brother or close cousin is a really bad idea.) Secondly (and much less seriously), I have some concerns about the realism of Kevin's bobbing cock. I think I am an attractive woman, and I teach boys in Kevin's age group. I don't doubt that they make sexy remarks about me in private and that they may even jack off while they fantasize about me. But unless I've gone blind (perhaps from masturbating) they don't get raging hard-ons when I talk to them. Even if I assume that I have excessively grandiose opinions of my own beauty, I know other teachers and girls who are certainly attractive, and the guys (including most of the faculty) manage to engage in social intercourse with them without excessive perturbations in their loins. My husband (a veritable stud) is definitely capable of talking to attractive women without getting a hard-on. I asked him about this, and he assures me that this is because I "take such good care of him." (And he says he appreciates this service very much.) I asked him if when he was 16 he could talk to sexy teachers without going into heat. He said he could; but then he added that he didn't have me for a teacher! I guess my point is that we're engaging in a little bit of exaggeration in this story - and in many of the other a.s.s. stories. I think we need to keep that in mind when we consider a story like this to be "natural" and "beautiful." Finally, near the end of the story the author himself gives a good reason why big brothers should not have sex with their cute little sisters in real life: once you start having hot sex, it's hard to stop. And there's all kinds of evidence that little girls who spend their time humping little boys don't do as well in school or have adult lives and families that are as happy as those of their peers who approach sexual intimacy with a little more restraint. I'm not making this up; ask a social worker or school counselor. These are not objections to the story - just comments about its implications in real life. It's an excellent story. "Kris" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). OK. So I'm a romantic. I've been working hard trying to keep from being biased *against* stories about topics and attitudes I dislike; but I can't help being biased in favor of stories I do like. This is the third story I read by this author in four days, and it's the third good story. To be perfectly honest, if the sex scenes were taken in isolation, they would not be all that hot. But taken in context - as the culmination of a hot romance - they are very sexy indeed. What we have here by a.s.s. standards is a guy with a physical deformity (an ordinary body - probably a meagre six incher between the legs when fully engorged that merely oozes cum like the sex books say these critters do instead of shooting it into her cunt from across the room) and a personality disorder (an urge to possess the woman he loves and remain with her and make her happy forever). The girl whom he loved in his youth returns to town, realizes what a fool she was to leave him, and falls madly in love with him. A lot like us normal folks on a really good hair day. Not a bad story! "Lessons in Lust" by Kid Dynamite. In the past, when I have reviewed D&s stories, I have been unable to understand the point of the stories. Why would anyone want to undergo degradation and humiliation in order to achieve a sexually submissive status? An analogy that I have used is this: if it's a bad idea for slave owners to beat people in order to make them pick cotton more efficiently, why is it a good idea to torture women (or men) in order to make them better sexual playthings? This story gave me a different insight into D&s. It's about a college-age girl who is staying with her wealthy aunt and cousin and is being trained by them in the arts of lust. The "punishments" in this story consist not of whippings and electrical shocks (as in some other stories of this genre), but rather sexual "punishments," such as being brought to an orgasm under embarrassing circumstances or being required to reveal shameful thoughts to the mistress. In a certain sense these events are not really "punishments" - they feel bad only because they are associated with a sense of shame, and (according to the philosophy upon which the story is based) this sense of shame is false and should be abolished. This is the first D&s story that has ever explained to me the meaning of the word "slut." Here is that the mistress in this story says about the slut: "The slut is a perfect creature. She is strong, free, self-possessed, and satisfied. The struggle inside you is the struggle between 'bad' and 'hot', is it not? These things all seem so 'bad'. You've probably said to yourself 'I'm a bad girl,' or 'I can't believe how bad I am.' Well, it's true. You are a bad girl, Lisa. These things are all 'bad'. So why do you do them? Because they're 'hot.' Bad equals hot, for you, doesn't it? You secretly long to be oh, so bad, because you feel it hit you right here.... "The slut is the woman who knows it's bad, but wants it anyway. Needs it. Longs for it. The heat inside her drives her beyond 'bad girl' and 'good girl', to simply 'slut'. The slut is the woman who listens to her instinct. Who ignores the pathetic notion of 'morality'. There is no 'morality', no 'right' or 'wrong'. No 'good' or 'bad'. Only one thing - pleasure. Only pleasure can free you from the hopelessly contradictory, confusing, impossible constraints that hold us back." From the perspective expressed in the preceding paragraph, the girl receiving the "training in lust" is not a complete fool who wants to be degraded, but rather a person who is undergoing training that will make her superior to others. I personally don't buy this extreme hedonistic philosophy, but at least I can understand it. What I can especially understand is how sane people who lead wholesome lives could derive enjoyment from reading and thinking about such experiences. Having said all these nice things (at least I meant them to be nice), I also have to add that parts of the story still seemed silly to me. At one point, for example, we have Lisa wandering about naked with a banana shoved up her cunt and a carrot up her ass, with just the carrot greens sticking out. Overall, however, it was a good story. One of the marks of a good author is that he/she can present a story in such a way as to make people who differ from those in the story suspend reality and temporarily see life from the perspective of the characters in the story. This author (whose very name destroys the serious mood of my review) successfully brought me to the point where I could say, "If I were Lisa, I think I would feel just the way she feels." "The Locksmith" by Stephanie (an266891@anon.penet.fi) This story is the winner of the First Annual Celestial Writing Contest. It is a clever, well-written story about a locksmith who gets a late-night call about a person who has been handcuffed and needs to be released. However, since the story depends on some twists in the plot, I can't tell you much about it. In fact, I urge you to read both this and the following story to see if you agree with my judgment that this is the better of two extremely good stories. "Kris" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). OK. So I'm a romantic. I've been working hard trying to keep from being biased *against* stories about topics and attitudes I dislike; but I can't help being biased in favor of stories I do like. This is the third story I read by this author in four days, and it's the third good story. To be perfectly honest, if the sex scenes were taken in isolation, they would not be all that hot. But taken in context - as the culmination of a hot romance - they are very sexy indeed. What we have here by a.s.s. standards is a guy with a physical deformity (an ordinary body - probably a meagre six incher between the legs when fully engorged that merely oozes cum like the sex books say these critters do instead of shooting it into her cunt from across the room) and a personality disorder (an urge to possess the woman he loves and remain with her and make her happy forever). The girl whom he loved in his youth returns to town, realizes what a fool she was to leave him, and falls madly in love with him. A lot like us normal folks on a really good hair day. Not a bad story! "Lab Partners" by WithSue. Sue was kind enough to send me a copy of this story before she reposted it. When I saw it postted this morning, I was upset, because I hadn't finished it yet. So I dug into the rest of the 24 pages (11,188 words, according to my word count) and was late for breakfast. It was as good as Sue humbly said it would be. (Now I have to put this out of my mind and concentrate on summer school.) The deal here is that Sue loves fantasies and in real life encourages other authors to respond to her fantasies by finsishing or adapting her stories. A few paragraphs into the story, I realized that Sue herself was the lab partner working with the two guys. The buildup took a while; but even our anti-Jane-Austen critic would enjoy the result, I think. (I'd really like to know his opinion of this one.) This has to be one of the longest orgasms in a.s.s. history; and I stayed glued to the screen for every minute of it. This may be a chick story - but what a chick! "Lynn" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). No offense to any of the other authors, but this is the BEST STORY I have yet reviewed. If you like romance, read it! "Marcia's Predicament" by Walter Fortner. "A lady came up to the farmer's house and said, 'I've just run over your cat and I'd like to replace it.' The farmer scratched his chin, looked at her for a moment, and said, 'Very well, how good are you at catching mice?'" This story begins with that old joke. As I began to read the story, I forgot quickly about the joke. Soon I found myself becoming really ambivalent about the story. It was clearly written, and the author seemed to be building up to a bondage sequence in a fairly interesting manner. However, I couldn't help noticing that the story was almost over, and it seemed that there was not enough time left for any good sex. Then suddenly the story was over, and I was laughing out loud. The author had fooled me completely, and I really like that feeling. When I thought about it in retrospect, everything in the story made perfect sense - but only after I had read the very last line in the story. "Meeting Amanda" by Backrub. Here we have what my psychology professor referred to as an approach-avoidance dilemma. (When the prof told us about it, she talked about pigeons; but I'm pretty sure I still have the idea right.) I had never read a Backrub story I *didn't* like; but I had never read a vampire story that I *did* like. The tension alone, of course, would have made a less sophisticated woman cum in her panties; but I was wearing none. Therefore, I boldly went where I had never gone before.... What I like most about Backrub is his/her use of language and imagery: "From twenty feet away she looked like a living statue, weathered brown but taut and strong. Her short black hair barely moved with her movements." That's beautiful. The yet unknown woman was coming to life for me, but remaining mysterious. The imagery remained vivid as the story got hotter. To find out more, you'll have to read the story. I still don't plan to look for vampire movies, but I do plan to read more Backrub stories. And for some reason I just remembered it's about time for me to give blood again. ~Subject: Celeste's Top 100 Reviews (M-S) ~From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) ~Date: 28 Dec 1995 11:06:53 -0500 ~Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories Celestial Reviews of Top 100 Stories of 1995 (M-S) Note: Unless I noticed something that obviously needed to be changed, these reviews are the same as they appeared in the original issues of Celestial Reviews. In a few cases this means that there will be redundancies or references to other reviews that are not inlcuded in this reposted series. The reviews are arranged alphabetically by title (ignoring initial articles - a, an, the). "A Midsummer Night's Dream - Some Additional Scenes" by Ed Stauff. This is really good stuff! (Pardon the weak pun on the author's name.) What we have here are sexy lines that fit in almost perfectly with the spirit and tempo of Shakespeare's play. Here are a few sample lines: HER. Ye Gods, the size! However will it fit? HEL. It has betimes. See, in it slides with ease. O dearest dear Demetrius, you please Me far beyond description. DEM. Thou likewise. and later: HEL. In this our amorous play you may join And yet not spend your precious virgin coin; A hundred variations has the sport Of love, we'll demonstrate a diff'rent sort. I'll take in hand Demetrius' proud tool, Still wet from bathing in my secret pool, And guide it to another pair of lips And from his fountain take lascivious sips. Besides reading this for the pure, naughty enjoyment, there are many other uses to which one can put this material. For example, when I was in college I had a boorish snob of a classmate who really didn't know Jack Shit about Shakespeare. It would have been easy (and fun) to insert these lines into her text when it came time for her to read aloud. The lines are so cleverly written that they look as genuinely Shakespearean as anything Francis Bacon ever wrote! I'm not going to spend more time writing about this poetry. It's excellent; and if you enjoy Shakespeare, you'll enjoy this parody. "Month" by Deirdre. This is my new all-time favorite Deirdre story. Remember the movie "Indecent Proposal"? Well, Deirdre ups the ante. A supermodel is offered $10 million for a single month of unspecified work. She figures the work must have something to do with sex, and so says she's not interested. When the person making the offer persists, she tells her manager to call his bluff by making a counter-offer of $50 million. To her amazement, her counter-offer is accepted. The deal is this: she will be flown to an island at a secret location and will stay there for a month, at the end of which she will be returned safely and uninjured to where she started. If she cannot be certified to be safe and uninjured, she will receive $200 million; otherwise she keeps just the $50 million. What the hell? says the supermodel, for that price I can do anything. And besides, what can possibly go wrong? And so she accepts the offer. Can you resist a story like that? Deirdre is at her best in this story: an excellent setup and unpredictable twists in the plot. However, since I carefully applied Deirdre's Law (If something can go wrong, it will go wrong; and it will involve what Senator Exon will consider to be a sexual perversion.), I felt really good about being able to predict about 78% of what happened by the time I was only 63% of the way through the story. "Mother and Son" by Ann Douglas. Perhaps its my background as an educator, but I'm normally repulsed by stories about incest. The basic problem is that once you set aside the fantasy, in real life the adult is almost always engaging in some sort of gratification at the expense of someone he or she should be caring for. We get upset at the clergy and teachers who molest children, but then we're supposed to consider it to be titillating when we read a story about mom teaching her son "what it's like to be a man." That's how I usually react, but this story surprised me. It's about a mother who comes home early and sees her son getting head from a boy whom she doesn't know. She tries to respect his privacy, but she becomes aware that the son is likely to take the plunge into a homosexual lifestyle that may not be appropriate for him. As the only reasonable solution she can think of, the mother herself engages in loving sex with her son. The story ends with... no - you'll have to find that out for yourself. What won me over was the objective, non-moralizing aspects of the story. The author wasn't suggesting that every mother should screw her son; but she showed that this was an unusual situation. Nor was she suggesting that it would be awful if her son would adopt a homosexual lifestyle. The mother just didn't want her son to make that choice without thinking about the alternatives. The story reminded me of the movie Summer of 42, in which a wife loses her husband in the War and then makes tender love to a neighbor boy. When we saw that movie, my husband and I discussed the ethics of an older woman seducing a younger boy - when the boy obviously loved ever second of it. We eventually decided it was just a pretty good movie and that we didn't need to pass moral judgment on it. This was just a pretty good story. "My So-Called Sex Life" by David Kelly. I have watched "My So Called Life" on television just a few times. It must conflict with something else I do. It was a good show, and my kids watch it regularly. My impression is that the television show deals with emerging adolescence in a quasi-humorous fashion; and this set of stories is going to attempt to give a similar treatment to emerging sexuality. So far this series is pretty good. The first story starts out with the young heroine going to her parents bedroom to ask permission to go out. When no one responds to her knock, she opens the door and sees her mom giving her dad head, while a porn flick runs on the television screen. "At least they weren't using handcuffs," she smiles, as she runs out of the house. "What's that on Daddy's face?" asks her little sister. So the author had my attention. Episode 1 is mostly about an all-girl threesome, with Angela contemplating taking the plunge with Jordan Catalano, the young man who is the "object of her desires and thirty four separate masturbation fantasies." The dialog is natural and sexy: "I gave Jordan a hand job. It was... nice." Angela said. "Nice?" Rayanne said, "you make it sound like a Hallmark card or something!" In the second episode Angela and Jordan do the deed. It was indeed nice. I look forward to more of these thoroughly enjoyable episodes. I may even watch the original show more often. Although lightheartedness pervades both episodes, there are some serious insights. For example, after the all-girl mini-orgy, there's this passage: "What does this mean?" Angela wondered. "It's not like I am attracted to women, but it was, um, good. What if I do it too much and become no longer attracted to guys? Time to re-think this." This is an important thought. Teenagers should be open to the idea that same-sex activities (and fantasies) are likely to be really enjoyable; and they should be able to think about this option without either (a) being filled with disgust over not being "normal" or (b) committing themselves to a lifelong designation as gay or lesbian. Life is more complicated than that. To be perfectly honest, I'd prefer that my own 15-year-old daughter discover that she enjoys *fantasizing* about doing it with other girls as much as she enjoys *fantasizing* about doing it with boys. I'm not going to disown my children if I find out they've been having sex; but I really do like the idea of letting them grow up before they become active participants. I myself graduated as a popular, heterosexual student athlete who happened to be a virgin; and I am absolutely certain that my virginity was not a personality flaw that impeded my future sex life. So who's going to read these stories - the under-18-year-olds who comprise the protagonists or the older generation who are theoretically allowed to read this stuff on a.s.s.? I suppose the Christian Coalition would object - and I am not going to leave these stories on the coffee table for my children; but I would not really be upset to know that my children were reading stories like this. The teenage movies and TV shows are filled with innuendo; these episodes just make explicit what is implicit in those stories. My kids have already heard my lecture about how real-life differs from the movies. (For those who are interested, here are the three big differences: (1) People have to fall in love and jump into the sack really quickly in the movies, because more realistic and desirable timelines are impractical in a two-hour movie or half-hour TV episode. (2) Indians really would not be so dumb as to ride around in circles, and some of the bullets would hit horses. (3) At least occasionally the Indians would rape the women (and men) whom they captured.) So even though I encourage people to follow the laws of their state or nation, I'm not going to be upset if consenting adolescents occasionally see these stories. The other major audience for these stories consists of "old" people (over age 18), who can remember what it was like to be a teenager. Even though I graduated from high school without ever doing anything like the activities described in this story, I can identify with them. Doing these things would be fun. Even the Christian Coalition people would have fun doing these things. They'd go to hell, maybe; but they'd have fun. And that's what fiction is for - vicariously doing things that for some reason (in this case, a good reason, if eternal damnation were really a possible consequence) you would otherwise never experience. All right - so that's not the only reason for fiction; but it's one good reason anyway. "NICE" by Vickie Tern (vickietern@aol.com). The title refers (among other things) to the fact that the husband wanted to be nice to his wife by engaging with her only in the nice kind of sex she wanted, which was generally placid and rare. Away from home he was selected as a sexual playmate by a coworker with decidedly anti-nice tendencies. That torrid and kinky affair came to an end and vanished into the past. However, from the very beginning of the story we know that the man's wife is a vindictive sort: to her a deal is a deal; and if she'll sue the painter for finishing a job late, we can just bet that she won't be very nice to a husband found to be unfaithful to the marriage deal. Now my Word Count utility tells me that I am 2929 words (259 lines) into a story that is 10858 words (1022 lines) long, and the wife has just found out that this sweet little husband has been unfaithful. As you know, I like sweet cuddly sex; and I don't like stories in which someone is humiliated sexually. And you must certainly realize that if my husband were ever similarly unfaithful to me, I would simply pat him on the head, ask him not to do it again, and beg his forgiveness for failing to be the woman he deserved. If you believe that, then you're a few french fries short of a Happy Meal and I have a snippet of Princess Di's cunt hair that I'm willing to sell you at a bargain price. Au contraire! This author has my permission to have the wife do anything she wants to this slimeball for the rest of the story; and I'm going to enjoy all 7929 words (763 lines) of it! And the plan for revenge that the wife outlines is ingenious. I've never thought of this method of revenge before. As the wife dictated her terms to the husband, I couldn't help thinking that the plot rivaled an Edgar Alan Poe story in its macabre thoroughness. But hark! The story has a surprise ending; and that's putting it mildly. I cannot tell you more. Read this story. You'll love it. "Nice Girl" by Of 2 minds (of2minds@aol.com). About once a month (apparently in relation to phases of the moon or the pitching rotation of the Texas Rangers - I'm sure it has nothing to do with PMS), I get this wild urge to abandon my role as a sexy English teacher and smut critic and move into my other personality as a pop psychologist. This story triggered my psychosis. Hence the schizophrenic double rating in the list preceding these reviews. If you read this story because you're horny (or want to get that way) and need some good action, this is a story about a guy who invites his old roommate to spend the night and then wakes up in the middle of the night and finds his roomie fucking the brains out of his supposedly faithful wife, who is loving every minute of it. There's a whole genre of sex stories that focus on wife watching, and large numbers of happily married family men (and a smaller number of equally sane and stable women) get off on this sort of thing. I don't. If my husband were such a weakling that he got his kicks out of watching me do it with someone else, I wouldn't respect him. Likewise, I wouldn't respect myself if I had such a weak personality that I would marry a guy who would be my caretaker until I could get an occasional romp in the sack with a real man. My husband doesn't own me, but we have this deal that's based on these things called vows that we take seriously. My personal feelings are so strong that I simply don't turn on to fantasies about spouse watching. (Note that I am not saying *you* are wrong to enjoy this genre. All I'm saying is that this kind of story does not appeal as a turn-on to me - and there are a lot of other people like me.) So, if I rate this for its potential as a wife-watching story designed to turn people on, I'd give it about a 6. It's a decent story of that genre, but I think there's room for improvement. (But I hasten to add that a person who is a connoisseur of this genre may give this story a different rating.) This reminds me: A couple of weeks ago I reviewed "The Top Ten Lies of Usenet Porn." I hope that author reposts that exceedingly clever list and that others add to it once in a while. If I recall correctly, one of those lies was "When a guy comes upon his best friend fucking his wife's brains out, the natural reaction is to either applaud or join in." <> So now my alter ego kicks in, and I'll reexamine the story as a brief psychological case study. Although it's obvious to me that about 90% of the people reading this newsgroup are looking fore sexual titillation, a case study about sexual behavior would still belong on a.s.s. It's actually possible that sexually oriented people are willing to think about sex as well as have fun with it. The woman in this case study has been involved in an abusive relationship with her father as a child. (Note: the "abuse" is badly stated by the author - perhaps because he felt uncomfortable with it. I think it would have been better to simply remain ambiguous about the specific nature of the abuse, but to imply that it had happened. I really doubt that the "abuse" described by the author would lead to such a severe dysfunction - unless that abuse were merely the tip of a larger iceberg.) During the intercourse with the roommate she calls out her father's name and her husband's name. What we have now is a case study of a dysfunctional person, who is managing to cope pretty well with the dysfunction. I mean, she has this scar on her personality, and yet she has managed to lead a pretty normal life under the protection or safety provided by her husband, who is also using her to meet some needs of his own. Had this pervert of a roommate not shown up, she would have continued her pleasant existence; and even after her session with him, it seems possible that she is going to return to near normalcy. Perhaps she has even grown as a result of the roommate experience. I would like to know a little more about the woman's background in order to consider this an excellent case study; but it's already pretty good. It seems safe to assume that lots of normal people in real life have similar "dysfunctions" but are considered functional because they handle them well. It is also worth noting that certain personality disorders can actually become strengths - for example, the maniacal preoccupation with specific activities can often be a handicap; but such singlemindedness can become a strength under the right circumstances. The trick, as Clint Eastwood says, is to know your limitations. An extension of this reasoning is that if it is possible that activity like that described in the story is not necessarily destructive to personalities and relationships, then a fortiori *fantasizing* about such activities would be even less likely to be destructive. Enough pscyhobabble! Go figure! (Rating: 6 as wife watching; 10 as a case study.) "Night Flight to Bonner's Ferry" by Erostos. In order to avoid potential bad weather, a pilot and his passenger land short of their destination and spend the night together, sleeping in the aisle of the plane. They engage in pleasant, dreamy sexual activity before continuing the next morning. The author's account is extremely clear and lucid, with just the right amount of tension and anticipation to make it interesting. Although there is little explicit description of sexual activity, this is a sexy story. "Night Moves" by Javahead (an217242@anon.penet.fi). A man stealthily enters the chamber of a sleeping woman. He removes his clothing and then slides into bed beside her. When the startled woman awakens and tries to resist, he forces himself on her. Javahead writes in a clear style that conveys action concisely but intensely. A rape story has to be pretty good to make me enjoy it; and I enjoyed this one. "Not Really Cheating" by Dave Schulte. A man and a woman work together. Both of their spouses are too busy to satisfy them sexually; yet each wants to remain faithful and monogamous. They become aware of their mutual attraction to each other. They decide that since infidelity involves actual sex, it wouldn't really be cheating if they simply masturbated together; and so they do so. It's an interesting idea, and the story is well written. Incidentally, in my own opinion, this *is* really cheating. In other words, I would consider myself to be unfaithful to my husband if I needed a sexual fix and got it by masturbating with a friend when my husband was too busy to satisfy me. Infidelity involves the violation of a relationship, and what the story describes is at least the beginning of the violation of a relationship. No real moral lesson here - just a commentary on the title. It was still an enjoyable story. By the way, in my morally acute mind, reading stories on a.s.s. and fantasizing about them does *not* constitute a violation of a relationship, even if Tammy Ng does write cynical letters to the reviewer Now you know why I read twenty of these stories a week! I had better talk to my husband. "Once You're Rubbed by Amy" by Backrub. I vaguely remember seeing a story called "Once You're Rubbed" by someone named Amy posted in a.s.s. As I recall, I glanced at it, noticed it was unfinished, and decided not to bother to download it. Big mistake! About an hour ago I received via e-mail a copy of this story from Backrub, along with his official notification that he intended to repost "Once You're Rubbed by Amy," which is a follow-up to this story. Big break! So I read this story, and it's excellent. It's basically a slow build-up for a big climax. It does a beautiful job of expressing the magic and insecurity of first meetings, of the beginnings of relationships. I found myself laughing and recalling experiences from my own life. The build-up itself is not devoid of sex; but its sexy in the sense that you just know something is going to happen, because the chemistry is right to begin with and it gets better as the story goes along. The only flaw with this story (and it's a big one) is that it's unfinished. It just plain stops before the climax. But Backrub solved that problem with the next story. "Once You're Rubbed by Amy" by Backrub finishes the previous story. In doing so, it retells the entire story from the man's point of view. Since a massage plays a pivotal role in this story, it is a story by Backrub about a backrub! I myself think the present story can stand alone, even if readers have not seen the previous story; but Backrub himself thinks that the two stories should be read together. Backrub also wrote "Across the Catty Corner," a follow-up to Sue's "Catty Corner." I reviewed those two stories in Celestial Reviews 9. I truly believe that the Catty Corner Combination was better than this set, but this is still an excellent, romantic, and sexy story.. "Party Girl" by Javahead (an217242@anon.penet.fi). "Down boy! Public party first, private party later." Several lines earlier in his disclaimer the author stated "... even as a fantasy, I found it at least as disturbing as arousing.... if it doesn't disturb you, I didn't get it right." So I was approaching this story with a certain degree of trepidation. Threshholds of disturbance vary, and this wasn't alt.sex.altar.boys that I was reading. When I finished the story I was initially disturbed that I wasn't disturbed. Had I become jaded by reviewing 400 stories over the past month? What was so disturbing about this story? After all, it wasn't about the relatives turning the body of the 9-year-old virgin over to ravenously horny wolves after fucking her to death anally during a sacrifical orgy behind the altar in the Sistine Chapel on Easter Sunday. Actually, this story isn't shocking - just disturbing. What's disturbing about it is that it's actually so plausible. Everything - and I mean everything - that happens in this story really could happen to perfectly sane and sensible people. "PLA Tiger" by Zhong (an113322@anon.penet.fi). This is not a pleasant or sexy story, but I liked it. The story is presented in the form of a letter from a Chinese soldier (PLA = People's Liberation Army) to his cousin, who apparently lives in America. The letter describes in matter-of-fact manner activities (both sexual and non-sexual) that the soldier considers to be heroic, but which are in fact despicable. Few readers will find the sexual activity to be at all attractive, except those who enjoy routine descriptions of rape. It's an interesting combination of erotica and anti-Communist propaganda. "Princess Charming" by TruthHurts (an268488@anon.penet.fi). Here we have a case of torture and rape where the Bitch deserves it. In fact, the rape of the haughty princess in this modern fairy tale is a humanitarian gesture: "Get up. I am going to teach you what it is like to be in another's power. If you survive this lesson, you'll have a bit more sympathy for those whose lives you control." This is a truly clever, well written story. "Raped Teen Burglar" by TEX. This is a fiendishly clever story. TEX has taken another story (by Dachthyus) and has modified it to give it a completely different impact. In the original story, Dan has a good ole time raping a teenage girl whom he catches burglarizing his house; and the story ends with her becoming his permanent sex slave. The new version continues with Dan being arrested and convicted of rape. Almost the moment he enters the prison, "Danny girl" is himself raped and humiliated by another prisoner; and it seems likely that Dan will become his permanent sex slave. I won't ruin it by telling you the ending. I would never have noticed or downloaded this story, except that TEX sent me a personal copy with a request that I review it. I didn't see the original; and so I'll just accept TEX's word that the first half of his revised story is word-for-word the original. The brilliant thing that TEX has done is that he uses almost *the exact same words* to describe what is happening to Dan as Dachthyus used to describe what Dan was doing to Melissa - and the effect is dramatically different. I showed this story to my husband, and he remarked that it reminded him of a "real good Death Wish movie." He meant that as one of his highest compliments. (That's right, fans, I'm married to a person who would rather watch a Charles Bronson movie than read an Ann Douglas story!) I don't know whether TEX is the nom de plume of a moral crusader or just a really good writer. What I do know is that the revised story gives a different insight into the value of raping "little virgin girls with ripe young bodies." Incidentally, if you want to get this one from the current postings, it's listed as TEX Raped Teen Burglar 1/2 and 2/2. "Reunion" by Steve Black(c621097@showme.missouri.edu). When I reviewed the first story by this author I complimented him for trying to blend the emotional with the rational, but I chided him for going too far to the rational side. This author is a fast learner: this story is an excellent blend of the two components. I'm not going to describe the story in detail. Briefly, it's about a man and woman who used to be lovers but drifted apart and who become reunited at the end of this story. Some readers will dislike it because in the first two-thirds of the story there is no sex at all in it. Sometimes lengthy monologues about "how I screwed up our relationship" are really boring, but the author effectively uses lines from "their song" to break the potential monotony. Incidentally, I don't mean this as criticism of this particular story, but in real life when there's a problem with a romantic relationship and people seem to be drifting apart, there's at least one good solution besides having an affair or dissolving the relationship. It's called counseling. If you find that reading a.s.s. stories and even my reviews doesn't help you get your life in order, go to the phone book and look in the yellow pages In the Sulphur Springs Yellow Pages, you would look under either "Mental Health Services" or "Marriage, Family, Child & Individual Counselors." I don't know why it's not even cross-referenced under "C" for "Counselors.". It has always angered me that it's so much easier to find a car dealer or dentist than a counselor. It's not an admission of failure to seek help. On a less serious note, this story raises the question: When two people are alone in a house and no one else even has a key, why do they close the bedroom door when they make love? This was an excellent, romantic story. "Rock Concert Coupling" by Jackie (an338903@anon.penet.fi). This story is written from the perspective of a horny 14-year-old girl. She and her boyfriend meet in the midst of a crowd at a rock concert; and parental fears about the orgies that occur at rock concerts are fulfilled. The sex is hot. In fact, the sexual enthusiasm spreads like a fever to the other members of the surrounding crowd, and soon we have a small orgy on our hands. I don't for a moment believe that any responsible young people actually carry on like this. After all, I was present at Woodstock along with 4 million other sex-crazed kids, and nothing happened. We just held hands and sang along with the guy playing the accordian. All kidding aside (sorta), even if we agree that it would be a really bad idea to fuck in a public place like this, I think we can also admit that this is a really good depiction of the fantasies of a young adolescent girl. I know I have had almost this same adolescent fantasy, but I was 37 at the time One of the few flaws in this story occurred in the first paragraph, where the narrator referred to her "unrelentless" craving for her boyfriend. There's no such word. It's either "unrelenting" or "relentless." I also question the use of the phrase "unable to contain my pent-up lust any longer" after the girl has already had at least one resounding orgasm and started to give the guy head in the middle of the crowd. I think we're already beyong pent-up. The author concludes by asking if readers would like to see this story continue. It may surprise you to know that my answer is NO. I would prefer that the author hack off the last paragraph, replace it with a different line or two to end the story, and then write a second story. Authors should resist the urge to ruin a good thing by prolonging it too long. I want more, but not necessarily a continuation of this same story. The moral of this story, of course, is always carry some tissue paper in your purse in case the guy doesn't like the taste of his own cum and you want to French kiss him after having oral sex in public. I think the author got this suggestion from either Miss Manners or that advice column in Seventeen Magazine.. "Scene from the Cabin" by TropicCool. This is a beautiful story - one of the best I've read. However, most of the readers out there will hate it, however, because there's no hot sex in it. Just love and sentiment and all that wonderful stuff that makes hot sex so wonderful when it happens too. I have to commend the author for resisting the temptation to throw in the hot stuff. I desperately want to give this story a 10, but I just can't bring myself to give a perfect rating to a an alt.sex.story that's not about sex. "Showoffs" by Backrub. Yesss! This is what sexual fantasy is about. This story describes two female friends who come on to the hunks doing the gardening, and everyone gets their brains fucked out. The story is well written and the sex is hot. In real life there are plenty of good reasons why I myself will never do what the people do in this story; but that's what fantasy is for. My husband couldn't figure out why my pussy was so hot two nights ago. I told him, but I didn't let him read the story until the next evening; but then I understood the bulge in his shorts when I came into the computer room dressed in my gardening clothes. Fortunately, I had downloaded the story - otherwise, we'd have had one big bill for connect time from AOL while he was distracted from the monitor. Two bangs for the buck! Thank you Backrub! ~Subject: Celeste's Top 100 Reviews (S-W) ~From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) ~Date: 28 Dec 1995 11:07:03 -0500 ~Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories Celestial Reviews of Top 100 Stories of 1995 (S-W) Note: Unless I noticed something that obviously needed to be changed, these reviews are the same as they appeared in the original issues of Celestial Reviews. In a few cases this means that there will be redundancies or references to other reviews that are not inlcuded in this reposted series. The reviews are arranged alphabetically by title (ignoring initial articles - a, an, the). "Sisterly Advice" by DJ810 (an446077@anon.penet.fi) This was the first story ever posted by this author, and it was a joy to read. It was the perfect blend of the sexy and the normal. The older sister returns home from college for the summer and discovers that her little brother has grown up and become interested in girls. Without passing any moral judgment at all on other writers who pursue a different plot, I want to say that I found it to be thoroughly refreshing to read a story in which there was sexual tension between brother and sister without having them become lovers. The boy is struggling with how to express his sexual feelings to his girlfriend; and the older sister, who is experiencing growing pains of her own, offers him advice and encouragement. The boy and his sister have grown up to be normal, decent kids; and the anxieties and problems they face are examples of the very real sex-related problems that normal, decent adolescents face. They even have a mother (a minor character) who seems to have common sense and who wants neither to jump into bed with her children nor to inhibit their sexuality by preaching to them that sex is a sin. What is stylistically most impressive about this story is how well it maintains its continuity and has its impact by letting the characters display their feelings through their actions; and these are realistic, plausible feelings that many of us have shared. I was about two-thirds of the way through this story and I had been feeling its constant sexual tension, when I realized that the words cum, cunt, pussy, etc. had not been used at all; and I doubted that they would be used during the rest of the story. There was no need for them. Even though I have not experienced *exactly* what these two experienced, the story was close enough to my own reality that I found myself being turned on by the events and feelings themselves, even before I started to nostalgically remember similarities to my own adolescent life. Because there are several issues that are unresolved at the end of the story, it is my guess that this author plans to continue this story into a longer work. I urge her to be cautious. This is already an outstanding story. The issues that are unresolved are fine as they are - unresolved. I strongly recommend this story. It made my day. "Slippery When Wet" by Sue. I was going to read this story late at night and write the review right away, but after a story like that I have to take a break and visit my husband. He's going to wake up with one hot mouth around his cock! This was a truly erotic story. I can't do it justice by trying to summarize it - It's about a girl and a guy who get into the fitness center jacuzzi after closing time. Read the story for the rest. The only part that I didn't like at first was when they let the three college kids join them in the jacuzzi. Actually, I liked that part too; but except for that part, I'd be ecstatic for a chance to do exactly what the two of them did. Sue has one of the best disclaimer's of all the a.s.s. writers: "Reading and writing these stories should be acts of fantasy, and I hope that you can keep your notions of real and fantasy life separate in your mind. I know I can." And so can I! "Sooo Sweet" by Vickie Tern. This is a story of an extremely unusual little lady married to an equally unusual little man who is telling a really unusual story as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The story is narrated by a beautician to her customers, and her babbling monologue helps maintain a fascinating mood for the story." The surprises and sudden turns in the plot are what make this a good story. My own reaction was predominantly one of humor. "OK... I guess that could work...." I really can't tell you much about the actual story, because advance knowledge of the plot would ruin it for you. This is a TG (Transgender) story; and so people not at all interested in that genre may not want to read this rather lengthy story. However, I myself normally do not tune in to TG stories. I read this one only because the author sent me an advance copy; but I found this story to be quite interesting. The TG lifestyle is definitely not for me or my husband; but this story was still fun for me to read. Here's a technical note. This story (like many other good stories) depends on logical sequencing of ideas and appropriate formatting of text. If your service is like mine, in many cases when you download a document from a.s.s., you get a manuscript on your screen with a ragged appearance. The tab stops are gone, there are paragraph markers at the end of each line, and lines sometimes seem to end in the middle of the page for no good reason. Although it is still possible to read the text under these circumstances, it is often distracting to do so and difficult to pick up the logic of the text. The easiest way to solve this problem is to transfer the story to your word processor and change the document margins. If necessary, you can also change the font style and/or size. By doing this, you can get the document to look pretty much like the author thought it would look; and this often makes it easier to understand and enjoy the story. "Steven After Hours" by Backrub (BCKRUB@aol.com). I strongly urge that authors revise their stories when they repost them. I have reviewed something like 175 stories so far, and I think four of them have been revised - all by Backrub. (Backrub even revises *other people's* stories! The revisions all earned ratings of 10. So there's probably a lesson in this somewhere. Here's what I wrote in my review of the unrevised version in Celestial Reviews 3: "...at my present level of mature sophistication (yeah!), I would *not* be interested in having sex with a person as shallow as Steven - a sexy stud with a nine inch cock who thinks he's God's gift to women just because he drives them out of their mind with sexual ecstasy while he's satisfying his own lusts. But in our fantasies we can excuse a few minor personality flaws. Seriously, if you're a mature person interested in reading about the romantic relationship of your dreams, you may not like this story at all. But if you're looking for literate and hot descriptions of oral, vaginal, and anal heterosexual activity that make it all sound like a helluva lot of fun, this one's for you. In the revision Backrub cleaned up a few minor problems in the original and added a final section with a bondage theme. This is the kind of bondage that anti-degradation Celeste enjoys: the dominator is simply taking charge and the person being bound knows that she's in for a free ride if she's just willing to have it in the non-harmful way he wants to give it to her. Another good story! "Strip Chess" by Delta. This is one of my favorite ever stories. Some people resist downloading stories that are nine parts long, but this one is worth it. A group of college kids get together for an evening of fun, and someone suggests playing strip poker. Knowing she has no chance at the card game, one of the girls suggests strip chess instead, with the winner getting the body of the loser. (The observers make side bets and do things to distract the players). The only bad part about this story is that I had serious problems with my concentration the next time I tried to play chess. Really! You don't have to know chess to love this story, but the chess will make sense to good chess players. And the sex fantasies make sense to good sex players. "Summer Dreams" by Lysander (lysander@vnet.net). I get more than a little annoyed by people who say there are no good stories on a.s.s. The people that call us all sick weirdos I can at least understand and ignore. But no good stories? I'm desperately trying to keep up with all the good stories on this newsgroup. Certainly there are some weak stories here (and some genuine garbage); but I find a.s.s. to be a good source of high quality recreational reading for adults. This set of reviews should provide evidence of that quality. And this story is what pushed me to make my comment. Lysander has written several good stories; but I think this is his best. I have previously enjoyed Lysander for his action stories; but this one is almost poetry. He integrates the narrator's fantasies with his real life in a unique and moving manner. Because the enjoyment arises from the unraveling of the story, I can't tell you much about it. Just take my word for it: if you're interested in romance with healthy doses of sex and genuine human sentiment, this is a really good story for you. And don't be afraid to stop and think after you read this story - and read it again. "Susan and Becky" by Jonathan Dzoba. This story is written in the format of letters from Susan, who is a teenager at an all-girls band camp, to her boyfriend. After a brief build-up in the first three letters, the final two letters describe the girl's sexual intimacy with her female roommate. I found the descriptions to be wonderfully erotic. The notion that the story is being told in letters to her boyfriend adds a bit of titillation to the story. What I don't understand is how somebody named Jonathan Dzoba could understand so thoroughly the emerging sexual feelings of a blossoming young woman. Excellent story. "Tales of the Seeding" by Woolstonecraft. This is a set of narratives from different perspectives of people who are extremely unsophisticated in their sexual knowledge. We could be dealing with cave dwellers, with people on a remote island not yet conquered by "civilized people," or with aliens whose sexual accoutrements resemble those of humans. What is fascinating is that the descriptions all refer to sex (sometimes in very graphic terms) without ever using either the formal (intercourse, vagina, etc.) or informal (fuck, cunt, etc.) terminology that we normally encounter in such stories. The author does an amazing job - I caught only one mistake, where the author used the word "come" to describe an orgasm. In addition to playing with words, the author does an excellent job of building anticipation and creating a mood of mystery. I loved it. This is a really creative, ingenious story. "Tammy Gets Even (Better)" by Tammy Ng. This story was posted over a week ago; but if you follow my advice, you routinely download all stories by the Ng sisters. If you don't find this one in your files, you'll have to prevail on the generosity of the younger Ms Ng to repost this one. Here's some dialogue from the story: "You're the best," he said. "Oh am I," I said, "I'm very flattered." "You're also the worst and the prettiest and the ugliest and the tallest and the shortest." "Am I also first and last and only?" "Yes." "Oh, dear." And I hugged him closer. It's refreshing to read about an adult male getting deflowered by a female who doesn't feel a psychotic need to dominate or humiliate him! The virginity lasts only a little while (the next night they do it in the darkroom, while developing photographs - which is another first for me!) - but I thought it was downright tender and sexy. "Tammy in the Rain" by Tammy Ng. This is a long letter from Tammy to her sister Deidre, complaining about what an awful time she had cat-sitting for a creature that is variously called psycho-demoncat, Hell Spawn of Azathoth, and chastity cat (because it made any kind of sex life impossible). Sounds boring, doesn't it? Well, I guess I left out the part where Tammy reminisces about the time she and her boyfriend loaned their apartment to a horny couple and then made passionate love themselves as soon as their friends got out the front door. Maybe I also left out the part about them making love against a wall on the roof while the rain poured down on them during a late night thunderstorm, with her screams of sexual ecstasy drowned out by the roaring thunder. Perhaps you had better read the story yourself to see what else I left out while I was fascinated with that damned cat. I'll repeat what I said in CR 9: a lot of readers don't even know of the existence of the Ng Sisters. Please, you Ngs, put your name in the title line somewhere so that your fans can find your writing. This stuff is excellent! "Taxi, Sofa, Bedroom" by Deidre Ng. The title of this story is actually the answer to a question. If you scan any of the sex or humor newsgroups, you'll always find listings that are labeled "Strangest Place You've Had Sex?" Apparently a game show host (maybe on Love Connection) or a talk show host (maybe Jay Leno) - the legends vary - once asked a sweet young thing, "Where's the strangest place you've ever had sex?" - expecting an answer like in the girls' locker room or on top of a flag pole. The unabashed answer was, "I guess that would be in the ass." On one of the newsgroups there has been a furious debate over whether the answer was "in the ass" or "up the ass." So that's the history behind this title - only in this case the question was "Where do you like to get kissed?" and her answer was "On the inside of the thigh," while his was "Taxicabs, sofas, bedrooms, most anywhere, really." Oh - and that's also the order of places in which the couple in the story make love - taxicab, sofa, bedroom. The most erotic aspect of this story, I think, is the way in which the female protagonist fantasizes to her date about what she imagines he will do to her. It's really hot stuff. I'm writing this part of the review while they're on their way from the sofa to the bedroom. So far, my panties aren't wet; but that's because in the spirit of the story I took them off in the restaurant - which was even before the taxi. Well, I've finished the story, and her fantasies where fulfilled. Another excellent story. "Tell Me a Story" by smoot2 (smoot2@ix.netcom.com). After a session of good sex, a woman asks her lover to tell her a story. He responds with an erotic tale. While she listens, she brings him and herself to an even better orgasm. Ummm! Tell me another story! I could handle about 1001 Nights of This. This story is by the author of "Lyrical Fantasy," which I reviewed in CR 27. That story, I said, was a good story that was ruined by faulty proofreading and bad formatting. I added that if this author ironed the kinks out of his writing, his work would be in a class with the writings of Deidre and Tammy Ng - which is a pretty good class. See! I was right! This is a wonderful story. I would like to take credit for this improvement, but unless smoot2 and I did some time traveling or mental telepathy, he did this on his own. However, my point is still valid: the main difference between this story and the author's previous attempt is that this one is presented better. It's not that the author's exceptional creativity is unimportant - it's just that by cleaning up his final draft of this story he lets us see what he really has to say. With "Lyrical Fantasy" I was constantly distracted by the way the story was presented to me; in this story there still were grammar mistakes, but I skipped right past them and was distracted only by a warm, moist feeling in my pussy. I like this kind of distraction much better. "Tie Fighter" by Walter Slaven (walters@ix.netcom.com). This story is an addition to the Star Wars saga - told from the perspective of a tie fighter captain - that is, from the perspective of one of the enemies of Luke and Han and Leia. As I said in an earlier review, this is a well written, enthralling story, well worth downloading and reading - if you enjoy a heavy dose of action, adventure, and science fiction with your sex. The sex is exotic and hot, but it's almost a stretch to call this a sex story. I would describe it more accurately as real good science fiction that incorporates sexual activity as a natural part of the story line. At the present time the author has posted five lengthy chapters; and I cannnot predict how many more are yet to come. The author has obviously given careful thought to the plot and has taken pains to make it a reasonable extension of the original Star Wars trilogy. As an adult watching Star Wars with my children, I remember being amused to think that the evil Darth Vader and his cronies would capture Princess Leia and treat her like a princess while they held her in captivity. The Bad Guys would blow up an entire planet to make her talk; but they wouldn't think of deflowering the virgin princess. In the present chapter we hear J'Una recount (with appropriate disgust) a more realistic version of what happened to Princess Leia. Before all you perverts rush to your word processors and start searching for "Leia" so that you can find the "good parts," I should add that while the violence against Leia is described realistically, it is not graphic or titillating. On the other hand, the hot, consensual sex among the protagonists IS often graphic and titillating. I like that focus. As the story has progressed, the personalities of the major characters have begun to evolve. We discover that things are not dichotomized into black and white in the Empire - we see shades of gray and many other colors. The Tie Fighter pilots and even higher ranking officials like J'Una actually have consciences and wonder whether they might be making a mistake to slavishly implement the will of the emperor. In many ways Vel, Kao, and J'Una resemble American soldiers in Vietnam, who began to question their country's actions when they witnessed some of the atrocities committed in the name of "freedom," even while they continued to perform their duties faithfully and professionally. As in earlier chapters, the protagonists continue to have raucous sex, and the threesome action with Vel, J'Una, and Kao in chapter 5 is especially hot. But we see emotional attachments as well. In addition, midway through chapter 5 we learn that the Empire is rife with political dissent. Toward the end of chapter 5 this dissent and these emotions start to combine to lead to the eventual resolution of the plot. All these elements make the story more complex and more worthwhile. I think if I had my choice, I would just wait until this entire story was finished and then download and read it. It really is a little confusing to relate, for example, the events in chapter 5 to something that I read three months ago in chapter 2. (However, the author does conscientiously offer appropriate cross references to earlier chapters.) Normally, when I read or watch a story, I do so in one sitting or at least as quickly as possible. Having to wait adds inconvenience and confusion; but that's just the way authors work on a.s.s. (Incidentally, this is also the way Charles Dickens published most of his major novels. No, he didn't post them on a.s.s.; but he did serialize them in the London newspaper.) I'm getting the story for free; so who am I to complain? If you haven't downloaded this story yet, I encourage you to do so. "To Serve and Protect" by Sue (SueNH@AOL.com). If you read my review of Sue's "Life's a Beach" in CR 20, you may recall that I theorized that Sue wrote bad stories before her 8th. Well, either she has renumbered the stories or I was wrong. This one (her 6th) is one of her best. Sue is driving down a highway in Maine, mentally reliving some of her recent sexual exploits. The wind and fresh air have an erotic effect on her and her fingers begin to wander. Eventually a police pulls her over because of her erratic (or erotic) driving. The cop is a perfect gentleman, but after he verifies that she's not dangerous and gives her a stern lecture, he does public relations work with Sue - if you know what I mean! They don't call those Maine cops Mounties for nothing. As Sue herself says, "With a cock this big, what need does he have for a night stick! " This is Sue at her best: an excellent build-up plus detailed and graphic descriptions of the actual sexual encounter. If you want an example of excellent punctuation, you should read this story. Likewise, if you're studying the impact of Mayan civilization on the modern world economy you should read this story. You won't necessarily learn a lot about either punctuation or Mayans, but you'll certainly enjoy a good story. "Top Ten Lies in Usenet Pornography" by Derek Zumsteg. This isn't actually a story - just a Letterman-style spoof of the a.s.s. newsgroup. I think we can still enjoy our stories - probably enjoy them better - if we realize the foolishness of some of our underlying assumptions. "Trip" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). Something has gone awry in the Universe. As you may know, I have a theory that Deirdre is really Sherwood Anderson reincarnated. Now I discover that she's my husband!! Or perhaps Sherwood Anderson has bilocated while being reincarnated. All I know is that when I nudged my husband in the middle of the night a month or so ago and said, "Do you ever think of doing it with another woman?" he replied, "A nice thought, but you are all I want." Those very words appear in this story! I guess other possible explanations are that Deirdre has been sleeping with my husband, that Deirdre has a recording device in our bedroom, or that maybe millions of husbands and wives regularly recite this same dialogue; but the bilocative reincarnation is more in line with a Deirdre story. A major difference is that the fictitious Deirdre is more persistent than the real-life Celeste in bringing the threesome fantasy to fruition. Actually, Deirdre has another one of her surprise endings here; and I doubt that you'll guess it, even if you're looking for it. "Unwrap Party" by Jordan Shelbourne. Sarah is jealous because Richard is flirting with Crista at the party; and so she takes up with Ben in order to make Richard reciprocally jealous. The author does an excellent job of examining the feelings of Ben and Sarah without being the least bit boring. As the story evolves, it becomes obvious that Sarah's and Ben's affection for each other is genuine and also that Sarah has a major problem with feelings of inadequacy. She is preoccupied with having an orgasm, and these very thoughts interfere with the big bang. This is an outstanding story. The author has a way of describing extremely hot sex so that the reader can almost feel it happening, and he shows a real understanding of emotions. I am definitely going to watch for more stories by this author. "Upstairs" by Rajah Dodger (an179705@anon.penet.fi). The man is alone at the bar, his wife out of town. The beautiful woman on the stool next to him invites him to her house to listen to some records. She eventually invites him upstairs, where she traps him into some domination and submission toys and engages in really hot sex with him. Although I usually find violent D&s stories to be repulsive, I enjoyed this one. The difference is that (1) the guy deserves to be trapped (he's fooling around on his wife!) and (2) the woman is inflicting on the man things that they will both enjoy. All she's really doing is taking away his choice. Of course, in the real world the chances of getting this lucky with the D&S specialist on the next barstool are really remote; but this is a fantasy. A final note to husbands of wonderful wives (including husbands of a.s.s. reviewers): In real life women like this finish by cutting your balls off and shoving them down your throat. If they don't, your wife will. And remember "Fatal Attraction"! "Violet Rose" by Ann Douglas. What Ann Douglas does especially well is set a mood and build anticipation. I have never made love to a woman in real life, and I don't intend to do so; but I *know* this is a realistic description of how it would be. I can almost *remember* this happening to me! The story takes a while to get started (but it builds anticipation while doing so), but then the sex is really hot. An excellent story. "War Games" by Estragon (an356608@anon.penet.fi). The little boys are playing war games and the little girls are bored. They plead with the boys to be allowed to play, and eventually the boys give in and let them be nurses. The narrator convinces the most sophisticated (and initially most resistant) boy to be "wounded," and when the next two oldest boys see the "treatment" he is getting, they also develop wounds that require attention from the other two nurses. And so the little girls explore and experiment with the bodies of the little boys. I would have preferred a nice, sweet story in which the little girls affectionately jack the little boys off. Note to all you little girls and boys who are NOT reading this review and who will certainly not read this story: I am not recommending that you should actually do this when you are twelve years old. Instead, wait till you grow up and then fantasize that you did this. If little girls do this, they should be aware that (1) the little boy may be a little asshole instead of a cute little feller like those we encounter in this story, (2) people get really bad diseases and possibly become pregnant when they fool around with sex when they don't really know what they are doing, (3) having a reputation as a little slut may be detrimental to lots of opportunities that will present themselves in your life, (4) people who start having sex too young find it really hard to stop and it may be better to be more mature before you get started at something as important as this, and (5) actually doing some of the things in this story may conflict with moral values that are important to you. I would also like to say to the young people who are NOT reading this story that even though I think it's fine for you to fantasize about these things I really cannot suggest that you use a story like this for fantasy material, because it's against the law in my jurisdiction for me to give advice like that to people who are "under age." People who are my age and make laws may themselves fantasize about children doing these things; and even if they don't, they fantasize that by making laws they can keep children from even thinking about these things. They even fantasize that young children will not learn these things from the gutter or from really bad stories if we keep them away from really good stories. It's not hard to imagine which of the fantasies described in this paragraph are the silliest, is it? I don't know how that paragraph got there. Must be that Michelangelo virus acting up again. Anyhow, I would have liked the little boys and little girls to have mutually pleasured one another; but that's not quite the way Estragon works. If you've read this author's previous works, you know that a basic tenet promulgated by this author is that men are here as servants and playthings of women. And so, instead of fondling the wounded soldier's penis until he comes, the nurse instructs him to lie still while she tries to lift him up by one of his pubic hairs. Etc. War may be hell, but war games can be Learning Experiences. As I have said in a previous review of Estragon's stories, I myself don't wholeheartedly accept Estragon's notions of the Sisterhood (my word, not hers), but there certainly is a kernel of truth in them; and in this story she repeats them through the Learning Experiences of the narrator: "Boys are like nothing. They're like optical illusions, you know? They might look big, but they're actually only a few inches long, if you get what I mean. WE scare THEM." To learn more, you'll have to read the story yourself. The only problem I had with this story was that it was totally devoid of quotation marks. I guess that's because it is written from the perspective a twelve-year-old girl who had things other than punctuation on her mind. I adjusted to their absence, and I'm sure you will too. This is another excellent, fascinating story. "Wet Dreams" by Backrub (BCKRUB@aol.com). The protagonist in this story has the power to sense out women's dreams and their thoughts that occur when their senses are not fully awake. He is able to have wakeful sex with them and yet leave them with the feeling that it was all a dream. (The author doesn't explain how the protagonist prevents conception; but that may be expecting too much from an a.s.s. story.) The story describes in vivid detail one specific encounter. Would this kind of power be a blessing or a curse? You read the story and decide. The author does a great job of combining a sense of the mysterious and the realistic throughout the story. It's almost like a dream itself. Oh, no! Maybe I'm dreaming right now. Maybe HE's controlling this dream! You don't think that warm feeling I'm getting in my pussy.... "The Whore and the Captain" by Lori Grenci This is my kind of story: both sexy and literate. I'm not a Trekkie, but I'm told that Picard is a cold, passionless leader on Star Trek. I guess that's why he's always fucking his brains out when he appears in these a.s.s. stories. In this story Picard gets sent back through a wormhole into ancient Rome, 2000 years before his own time. He finds himself in the company of a prostitute, who takes good care of him. It's a really good story.