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From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d
Subject: Celeste's Top 15 Stories - August
Date: 4 Sep 1996 09:25:58 -0400
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Celeste's Top 15 Stories -August 1996 (1/3)

Note:  To preserve my own sanity and to reinforce my memory, when I post
each issue of CR I quickly go through the list of stories and move any
"sure winners" to my tentative MONTHLY TOP FIFTEEN list.  On August 17 I
already had 13 "sure winners" on my list.  This is good, because I was
finding so many good stories.  But it was also bad, because I had to make
so many difficult decisions.  There were some simply superb stories posted
on this newsgroup this month.  I had to bump stories that would have made
the Top Five in some other months!

Second Note:  Since many readers would like to read the top stories for
each month, I would appreciate it if authors would repost as many of these
stories as possible.  If you wish, you can label them as Celeste's #x for
August: Name of Story.

Final Note:  I have had great success finding these stories on the World
Wide Web by using the Deja News Server and the service at
www.reference.com.  You can even find past issues of my reviews through
these services.

- Celeste

Here's this month's list:

1. "Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil
2. "Justice" by Michael K Smith
3. "SNIP!" by Vickie Tern
4. "Jinsong" by Mary Anne Mohanraj 
5. "Conversation" by Sandmann
6. "Newhart: The Made Maid" by Uncle Mike 
7. "Memories of Underdevelopment" by Estragon 
8. "A Rude Awakening" by Michael Dagley 
9. "Anatomy Lesson" by Michael Dagley
10. "DNA II" by Stephanie
11. "BiGirls" by Vickie Tern
12. "In/Out Law" by Michael K. Smith
13. "Foreplay" by Uther Pendragon 
14. "Princess's Court" by Plainman
15. "Sarah and Sister Theresa" by Ann Douglas
15. "Steve's Story" by Steve3925


Here are the original reviews in alphabetical order:

"The Anatomy Lesson" by Michael Dagley (dagley@soho.ios.com).  From time
to time I reach the conclusion that since so many authors send me their
stories before posting them I must by this time know about all the good
authors on this newsgroup.  Therefore, I tell myself, there is no need to
go through all those other postings that are probably a waste of time
anyway.  Fortunately, I ignore my own advice; and that's how I find
excellent stories like this one.

This story is about a 17-year-old English boy who has grown into
adolescence almost completely isolated from peers - and especially from
girls.  His strict parents have dispassionately and sternly instilled in
him a "good education"; but he knows only theoretical information.  For
example, he has been forced to memorize the names and locations of all the
parts of the human body (including the reproductive organs of both males
and females), but he has no clear idea how they all function or why anyone
would want them to function.  Then his elderly nurse and tutor, Moni
Brunner, who was also his best and only friend, dies.  Her replacement is
Moni's granddaughter, Rafael, who is much closer to Gordon's own age. 
Although she is herself inexperienced with men, she decides during their
first lesson together to teach him (1) the practical use of his
theoretical information about reproductive organs and (2) the meaning of
desire.

I assured my husband that he would like this story; but I insisted that he
read it aloud with his hands behind his head, while I did the things that
Rafael did in the story.  I guess you'll have to read the story to
understand this.

This was an exceptionally well written story.  I hope to see a lot more by
this author.

"BiGirls" by Vickie Tern (VickieTern@aol.com). Craig has stumbled onto a
group of women who call themselves the BiGirls.  They are bisexuals who
enjoy giving pleasure to each other as well as to their husbands or
boyfriends; and they take pleasure from each other the same way, and see
no harm in doing so.  But their husbands might not understand.  So they
don't want Craig snooping around to take pictures of them to use to
blackmail them into not blackmailing him, so that he can blackmail them
into selling insurance to their husbands. From now on, when they're
meeting, they'll want to know exactly where Craig is. And that'll be right
there with them at their little sex session. Thus does Craig become an
honorary member of the BiGirls Club.

Kinda catches your attention, doesn't it?

Of course there are catches and conditions.  For example, Craig has to
wear female clothing during the meetings and has to act as much as
possible like a woman.  This may sound humiliating; but the way the author
presents it, Craig actually enjoys it immensely.  The activity even
improves his sex life with his wife. A Club rule is that a BiGirl who is
unoccupied at a meeting can never refuse another member's request, and
Craig soon begins looking for interesting things to do with each of the
other ladies.  Anything at all is permitted, as long as it is something
one woman can do with another.

Oh - and Craig also takes medication, so that his erections become fewer
and softer.  At BiGirl meetings all danger of inadvertent penetration
eventually ends.  Craig progresses very well, and the other girls
practically applaud the first time he takes a dildo up the ass.  The other
girls become openly affectionate toward Craig.  The experience brings out
his feminine side - making him a better person.

Eventually Craig is seriously considering going for full rather than
honorary membership in the Club (without surgery, of course); but then his
wife throws in a monkey wrench, so to speak.  Things get very complicated.
As usual, the last quarter of the story is full of surprises; and this
author does a great job of making even the most bizarre events seem
perfectly sensible by the end of the story.

"Conversation" by Sandmann (bd654@scn.org).  Goddammit!  I really hate it
when this happens.  Here it is - August 30.  I have a busy weekend ahead
of me; and so I prepared my Top 15 List for August ahead of time earlier
this evening.  Then I decided to read one last story before going to bed. 
I guess I could just delay this review until the next issue; but then it
might be more difficult for readers to find the story in the postings. 
But I simply refuse to bump any more good stories off my Top 15 list for
August.  We'll just have to live with sixteen stories in this month's Top
15!

This story begins as a conversation between two women about the sex life
of one of them, who mentions that she is sexually uninhibited.  A stranger
at a nearby table jumps into the conversation and asks her to explain what
she means by "uninhibited."  Her friend leaves, and the woman continues
the discussion with the stranger.  This is a fascinating combination of a
theoretical discussion and sexual fantasies.  It's a Platonic dialogue run
amuck!

As you know, I enjoy "discovering" that various a.s.s. authors are
"really" someone else.  For example, I have disucssed at length my theory
that Deirdre is actually Sherwood Anderson reincarnated.  More recently, I
speculated that Harper Lee is the real author of "Tomboy," which was
falsely attributed to Jordan Shelbourne.  If I recall correctly, I once
even exposed J.D. Salinger posting on a.s.s.  In the present issue of CR,
Plainman is obviously a pseudonym for John Updike.  I also suspect that
some authors on this newsgroup post under more than one name.  The present
story is a case in point.  This story bears an uncanny stylistic
resemblance to the work of another excellent author whose work I have
reviewed here in the past.  However, since the author may have some reason
for wanting to conceal this dual identity, I am not going to disclose the
other name under which I think this author writes.  If you want to 'fess
up or speculate, you can contact me by e-mail.

This is a throughly enjoyable story!
 
"DNA II" by Stephanie (an266891@anon.penet.fi).  This is a sequel to
Stephanie's "DNA," to which I gave very favorable ratings several months
ago.  The present story can stand alone, but it is easier to understand
and enjoy if you have read the previous story.  In particular, some of the
explanations at the end of the story may be easier to grasp if you have
read "DNA I."  Stephanie plans to repost both stories soon.

As "DNA II" begins, Paul has been changed into a half-male, half-female
person by his girlfriend Anne, a genetic engineer who became upset at Paul
for running around with other women.  Paul's objective is to return to his
original body, and while pursuing this goal he is faced with several
interesting obstacles.  The story runs parallel to many popular,
non-sexual, science fiction stories.  For example, the Incredible Hulk
possesses unusual powers but wants to rid himself of those powers, and in
his attempts to return to normal he encounters new problems in each
episode.  Paul's situation is similar to the Hulk's, but his problems
center on sexual situations - giving head to a cop to avoid a traffic
arrest, falling in love with his young female roommate, etc.  All of this
takes place against a background of scientific information that is
probably impossible - but which is realistic enough to non-scientists like
myself to make it all seem plausible.

The story is not a simple sexual odyssey; rather Paul's problems and
adventures are set in the context of a police vs. drug peddler drama.  The
villains are selling drugs; Paul stumbles into them; and the bad guys try
to use the DNA power to transform people from one body to another in order
to further their evil purposes.  Paul gets caught up with these criminals,
and other people have their genders switched.  Paul's goal is to get out
of this mess and to see to it that the bad guys get their comeuppance.  I
won't spoil the story for you by telling you all the details.  It's a good
story, and you should read it for yourself.  {"DNA III" is scheduled for
release some time next year.}

"Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com). This author
combines timing and tension to create a very good story.  At the very
start we know simply that Betty (Elizabeth) is upset because her father
has thrown Stacy (Anastasia) out of the house and has threatened to kill
her if he ever sees her around his daughter again.  Then we flash back to
a scene in a vice-principal's office, where Betty is describing her
problems with a teacher who seems to be making passes at her.  There must
be some relation, the reader thinks, between what's happening in this
flashback and the relationship between Betty and Stacy; but what is it? 
Is the vice-principal actually Stacy?  The vice-principal has recommended
a tutor; will that be Stacy?  And then there is a sinister note; the
vice-principal is apparently interested in exploiting a sexual opening
with the teacher who had been harassing Betty.  What are the implications
of that tidbit for Betty?  I can't help it; I root for characters when I
read some of these stories.  I already sympathize with Betty; and as a
hard-working teacher myself, I wouldn't mind seeing the VP stick it to the
teacher/pervert, but I hope that Betty and Stacy are people with a
wholesome relationship rather than participants in some sort of demeaning
ring of sex-slavery.

As I finish writing the preceding paragraph, I am only about 2000 words
into a 47,000-word story.  I mention this because I think it is a sign of
a good story to arouse the reader's interest as strongly as this story
grabbed my attention.

I'm reluctant to tell you too much of the story.  I enjoyed finding out
what would happen next, and I think you will too.  The author uses an
interesting strategy of alternating between the past and the present; that
is, there is one continuous story starting in the present; and another
continuous story - that gives meaning to the current-time story - starts
in the past.  In general, this is an ingenious and enthralling approach;
but at times it becomes confusing.  For example, when the girls are
arguing in the past and making up in the present, the two plots may become
entwined in the reader's mind.  It must have been difficult for the author
to coordinate these two plots; but he carries it off effectively - with
the exception of one point in Chapter 4 where he seems to use in the past
storyline information about Joyce that could be known only from the
present plot.

This is not a wham-bang sex story; it's a romantic story about a
relationship that happens to involve intimate sex between two females. 
The early part of the story (probably the first two thirds - and that's a
lot in a story of this size) does not contain any specific sexual activity
at all; but sex is implied, and sexual tension pervades even this part. 
That makes it sexy to me.  When explicit sex does occur, it is very hot.  

To be honest, I have to admit that this story brought tears to my eyes
more often than it brought moisture to my lower regions; but they were
often tears of joy that I associate with really happy times in the sack. 
I suppose that makes this pretty much a "chick story," but you studs out
there oughta read it too.  Maybe it'll put some hair on your chest.

This story has some flaws; but it's still excellent.  Look at it this way:
on several occasions the author actually spelled "english" (as in English
Teacher!) with a lower-case "e"; but I still gave  the story straight
10's.  I can't offer a much stronger recommendation than that!

"Foreplay" by Uther Pendragon (an569889@anon.penet.fi).  Bob and Jeanette
are newlyweds.  They had refrained from sex with each other until after
marriage.  Bob is willing to remain committed to just this one wonderful
woman for his whole life, but sex is very important to him; and he knows
that Jeanette does not share his enthusiasm. Bob has suggested one night a
week for experiments, or "games."  Jeanette has agreed on the condition
that she can choose half the games.  Bob has agreed; and her first
suggestion was the game called "missionary position." Hence Bob's concern
about his sexual future.

Therefore, for his own first game Bob sets out to make sex so wonderful
for his wife that she will crave sex even more than he does.  This story
describes a night of lovemaking when he gives her the royal treatment. 
The sex is very tender and passionate, and the descriptions are vivid. The
author shifts perspectives to convey the conflicting or complementary
emotions of both people. 

This is a revision of an initial version of this story.  I criticized the
prose in the original story as too workmanlike.  I said I would have liked
to have seen some more metaphors or poetic insights.  The revised version
is a marvelous improvement; it exudes exuberance that simply was not
present in the earlier version.  I would like to think that my suggestions
prompted this improvement; but more likely the author got lucky or got
religion and the new worldview led to the improvements. 

This was a very good story, and I sincerely enjoyed the description of
"conventional" sex from a highly romantic perspective.  A lot of readers
will recognize themselves in this story (if they are lucky), and a lot of
others will wish they had had a sexual tutor similar to this husband.

"In/Out Law" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com).  This is my kind
of short story.  Actually, I have grown to enjoy stories that include more
unusual forms of sexual activity; but this story describes the simpler
kinds of events that I like to imagine happening in my own life or in the
lives of my friends.  Tom has been married and divorced, and during this
story his sister-in-law tells Tom that his brother has been cheating on
her.  Instead of fucking her brains out right then and there, he tries to
help her solve the problem and then makes gentle love to her.  Instead of
having sex with the children, he converses with them and helps them do
well in school and adjust to the problems of their life.  Instead of
suggesting a sex-change operation, torturing the husband and his lover,
proposing a threesome or foursome, or resorting to mind control, he
marries the lady; and they live happily ever after.  The author even makes
all this boring stuff sound interesting and romantic.

 "Jinsong" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu).  There's
incredible variety in this author's writings.  This story started slowly. 
At first I was concerned that I might have accidentally downloaded
somebody's garbled e-mail instead of the story I had expected.  Then I
realized that the story was written in the form of e-mail messages between
a woman with the "handle" Jinsong (who has just broken up with her
boyfriend) and a Pennsylvanian named Matthew Danzener (a shy guy who at
first seems incapable of romance).  Matthew is extremely awkward in his
communications, except when he speaks in poetry.  After a few mundane
messages, Matthew hits Jinsong with a 627-word poem that describes his
anticipated first date with Jinsong.  What he wants to do is actually
pretty tame; but it sure sounds great the way he puts it.  You'll have to
read the story yourself. It's impossible to convey its mood without the
e-mail and the poetry.

"Justice" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com). When Susan was
twelve and just entering puberty, her father saw her naked one day and
came to her in bed that night.  He told her that here mother no longer
took care of his needs and that he wanted Susan to help out.  Then he
fucked her; and it hurt.

Her father had split neatly into two people in her life.  There was her
Daddy, whom she loved, who dropped her off at the school bus stop and
helped her with her homework, and who did nice things with her.  But there
was also the man who came at night whenever the two of them were alone,
and put part of his body inside her body.  When he came, he never struck
her, or put the pillow over her face, or anything so dramatic.  They
simply had sex. Both of these men said they loved her, but she now
understood that word to have two different meanings.  And neither man ever
mentioned the other. It never occurred to Susan to say anything about
their relationship to her mother or to anyone else.  She simply got used
to the visits and outwardly accepted them. 

This is a very realistic description of typical pedophile activity.  It is
not as enjoyable as the stories that describe "family fun" as a neat way
for children to grow up.  I want to remind you that I have given high
ratings to well-written stories that present sex between adults and
children in a much more pleasant light than this one.  I mention that
because I don't want to sound overly moralistic in this review.  All I am
saying is that I have known lots of children who were sexually abused, and
this story comes closer than any other I have seen to describing the
TYPICAL reaction of a child who is coerced into having sex with her
father. This story is not a turn-on - even though it does have a "happy"
ending; but I urge you to read it anyway.  It's one of the best stories I
have ever seen on this newsgroup.

"Memories of Underdevelopment" by Estragon (an573847@anon.penet.fi). 
Erica and Leila are two fifteen year old girls who are beginning to
discover their own sexuality. Little by little, they start with what they
know about boys just from instinct, and then imagine things together, out
loud, that they would only have let themselves imagine in private before;
and then they try some of those things out for real, on real males; and
then they build on what they have learned.

One day Erica says, "It's strange. Girls let all kinds of guys they're
going to break up with in a week touch them and learn all about them, and
their best friend who they'll love forever has no idea what their nipples
or slot look like...."  And so they head for Leila's house, get naked, and
explore each other's bodies.  Sounds normal to me.  Like many of
Estragon's stories, this one starts with perfectly normal, sensible
activities and emotions like these and builds to the point where readers
will suddenly realize that they are accepting as normal activities that
they would previously have viewed as bizarre.

In other words, Estragon has fiendishly combined the Socratic dialogue
with the short story and feminist ideology. 

Careful research shows that males outnumber females on this newsgroup.  I
can't explain this, although I'm sure Erica and Leila could demonstrate
that it is this way because women want it this way.  My point is that
large numbers of male readers will read this story and wonder whether
young girls really do lie around playing with each other's bodies, giving
pleasure to each other and devising plans for subjugating males to be
pussy whipped.  {The story gives a delightful discussion of this term.} 
On the surface, most men probably reject the idea as foolish; they know
their girlfriends and lovers, and these people are nice to their male
friends.  But isn't it possible that that's just part of the facade? 
Maybe the girlfriends and lovers are smart enough to not let the dumb
males know that they are being pussy whipped.  Maybe there really is this
huge conspiracy going on, but maybe we women are just smart enough to keep
our slaves happy by letting them foolishly believe that they are the
masters.  Makes sense to me.

I truly love Estragon's writings, and I don't want to betray the
Sisterhood; but I'm going to tell you a secret.  When I was an adolescent
girl, I did NOT sit around with a girlfriend and devise ways to subjugate
males.  I never once stuck a boy in the balls with the backside of a
spoon, nor did I pee on a male of the species who was begging me to do so.
 However, as I grew older, in dorms and locker rooms we girls did
metaphorically do these things.  Although I don't know anyone who actually
did cut off a boy's or man's testicles, I do know lots of girls who took
delight in emasculating their boyfriends in more socially acceptable ways;
and I myself often enjoyed giving one of these assholes a metaphorical
kick in the balls.

What I am saying is that I doubt that many young girls literally do the
things that Erica and Leila do; but a very large number of mature women
(myself included) read this story and say, "That's not an entirely bad
idea!"  

In short, this story is sort of a thinking person's "Thelma and Louise."

Most of my correspondents think that Estragon is a man.  I have no direct
knowledge to the contrary, but I suspect that she is a woman.  If Estragon
is a man, he's a genius to have insights like this into the female psyche;
and as Estragon herself would point out, men just aren't all that smart. 
Ergo, Estragon must be a woman - and a damned good writer besides.  On the
other hand, Aristophanes was a man, and he wrote Lysistrata.

Don't be scared off by my references to Socratic dialogues, to feminine
psyches, and all that technical jargon.  And don't you guys be afraid that
you'll become emasculated by reading this story.  And who cares if this IS
reality?  If Estragon is right, you guys too dumb to realize it anyway. 
Just read this story and enjoy it!  If you do so and then ask real
politely, maybe a nice lady will let you get naked for her.

(Continued in 2/3)
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From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d
Subject: Celeste's Top 15 Stories - August (2/3)
Date: 4 Sep 1996 09:26:28 -0400
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
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Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com
Message-ID: <50k024$pea@newsbf02.news.aol.com>
Reply-To: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801)
NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com
Status: N

Celeste's Top 15 Stories -August 1996 (2/3)

(Continued from 1/3)

"Newhart: The Made Maid" by Uncle Mike (fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu).  At
first I was disappointed with this story.  I was expecting a parody of the
Bob Newhart Show in which Bob plays a psychologist in Chicago.  Instead I
found a parody of the more recent Bob Newhart Show, in which Bob plays a
writer who is also the owner of an Inn in New England.  I wasn't as
familiar with the latter series, and so I expected that I wouldn't enjoy
the parody as much.  I was very pleasantly surprised!

The plot is perfect; it actually fits in with the personalities and
mannerisms of the characters.  Stephanie (the ditzy, lazy, rich girl who
is a maid but never does any work) develops a rivalry with Joanna, and to
prove her case she seduces Dick (the Bob Newhart character).  In
retaliation, Joanna seduces Michael (Stephanie's preppie boyfriend).  In
further retaliation, Joanna  tricks Stephanie into having sex with Larry
and his two brothers (Daryl and Daryl).  Finally, to make amends Joanna 
makes love to Stephanie herself.

As I said, the parody is very well done.  For example, it is easy to
imagine the Bob Newhart character reacting just the way the author shows
him as he is seduced by the young vixen.  I strongly recommend this story.

"Princess's Court" by Plainman (an701930@anon.penet.fi).  These seven
stories are interconnected to such an extent that I do not want to review
them separately.  It IS reasonable to read one story, then stop, then read
the next a few days later.  However, I don't think it would be a good idea
to read story 7, then 1, then 4, etc.  The proper order is:

1. Confession
2. Pre-Trial Proceedings
3. Girl Talk
4: Crime Scene
5: Claire
6: Motion to Dismiss
7: Night Court

The author describes the series as mainly a married male-female romance,
with lots of adultery in the "wife-watching" vein, lots of consensual
brother-sister incest, a fair amount of female-female fun, several loss of
virginity scenes (in reminiscence), some anal sex, and a threat of fairly
harsh consensual (but protested!) punishment that hangs over the whole
series and is brought to fruition in the final part.  There is no explicit
male-male sex, although one character hints of interests in that direction
There is also no pedophilia. The adult characters have children, whom they
speak of; but they take appropriate care to keep the children away from
their sexual activities.

Each story consists entirely of dialogue; we have to infer what else is
happening.  It's like overhearing telephone conversations or listening
through a thin wall at a motel.  Everything not spoken is left to the
imagination.  Since the conversations are vivid, the reader's imagination
is likely to be busy.  

Early on we learn that somebody referred to as Princess is married to a
man called Trooper.  She has been unfaithful while away on a trip.  She
tells Trooper about her infidelity, and although he seems tittilated, he
plans to convene something called the Family Court to punish Princess. 
The other members of the Family Court appear to be David, the sister of
Princess who has been sexually active with her in the past, and Judy, the
Princess's childhood friend and current sex partner who is apparently
intimately involved with David.  The interrelationships among these
characters become clearer in succeeding stories.

Each story reveals its details in interesting ways.  For example, in one
segment Princess discusses her infidelity with her husband by telephone
from an airplane, while she is in danger of being overheard by the people
around her.  In another segment we hear Dave and Judy making love, talking
about their past experiences and integrating fantasies from the past with
their present lovemaking.  The author uses flashbacks and innuendo to
build some really hot images.

The series was originally entitled "Family Court," but the author changed
the title, in order to distance the story from any suggestion of
pedophilia.  I see his point; but the change lost something important. 
The term Family Court occurs in the story, with obvious reference to the
trial and punishment administered to Princess.  However, a second meaning
of "court" (which is not initially evident with the original title) is the
group of people who hang around a royal person - as in "the king and his
court."  As the reader moves through the story, it becomes obvious that
this second meaning is also relevant - the Princess is not only SUBJECTED
to a court, she also HAS a court.  The new title shifts the initial
emphasis so far toward the second meaning that it ruins the fun that comes
from the insight of discovering this second meaning.  If you have any idea
what I am talking about, this paragraph may have been interesting.

I have a brother and sister and associated in-laws with whom I have never
had sex and don't intend to do so.  However, I think there is a little bit
of the Princess in me; and I truly enjoyed the vicarious experiences I
found by eavsdropping on the Princess and her court.  On another personal
note, I'm still not interested in getting into the punishment and
humiliation stuff that Princess gets off on.  On the other hand, stories
like this help me believe that I really wouldn't be upset if my nextdoor
neighbors were into this kind of thing - as long as I had binoculars.  I
might even let my kids play with theirs - as long as they didn't have
binoculars.

This was an excellent, highly creative story.

"A Rude Awakening" by Michael Dagley (dagley@soho.ios.com).  I really hate
this story!  I sat down about 45 minutes ago to read a story while I ate
lunch.  I had with me two ham sandwiches, a can of Diet Coke, and an
18-ounce bag of potato chips.  I would read "A Rude Awakening" for ten
minutes while I ate lunch and then prepare my classes for the first week
of the new school year.

I am now one chapter - 10,770 words and approximately 12 ounces of potato
chips - into this story; and I can't stop.  My husband is not home; the
kid across the street is mowing the lawn, sweating, his muscles glistening
in the sunlight; Kathy Ireland is looking down at me from my husband's
calendar with a cum-hither look that would give me blue balls if I had
balls; and I have my classes to prepare for a new semester.  What's a girl
to do?  I guess maybe I'll just read another chapter and see if this
feeling goes away.

Well, I read TWO more chapters, at which time there was a lull in the
action.  Then I fixed dinner and read four more chapters.  Then I had to
wait for the author to post the rest of the story.  Frustration Station!

This story contains an amazing blend of voyeurism and direct sexual
contact.  For example, at one point Joey is getting head from Mrs. C, who
is insisting that he describe to her what he did with her daughter earlier
that evening, while Joey is making direct eye contact with the daughter,
who is safely hidden and masturbating behind the mother's back.  This is
hot stuff.

I noticed the title words, "Rude Awakening," several times in the story. 
The first context stated that at the time of the story, (June of 1965)
graduation from high school would be a rude awakening: war, racial strife,
assassinations, drugs, and other problems.  Like many good titles,
however, this one has more than one meaning.  The second time the phrase
occurred was after Joey and Terri had made love; it was a rude awakening
for Terri to discover the power of her sexuality.  The term pops up
several other times in the story.  The most significant meaning of "rude
awakening" is not specifically stated - just strongly implied.  The story
begins with Joey an immature, sad, sexually-repressed young man.  He takes
no chances with girls and women, because he is afraid they will consider
him to be rude.  His friend and lover Alice tells him he needs to risk
being rude once in a while.  When the rudeness in him "awakens," he
becomes a more mature, happy, sexually responsive person.  In fact, he
becomes the neighborhood Lothario - a term which you can either look up in
your Funk and Wagnalls or infer from the context of the story.  And then
he discovers that he has lost something special - another rude awakening.

What do women really want?  Polite men or rude men?  The answer is that
different women want different blends; and even the same woman may want a
different emphasis at different times.  Also it depends on what you mean
by "rude": in this story rude means that a guy does something that a girl
will like, in spite of the fact that a social custom or the girl's
inhibitions might oppose his action.  I myself have been known to use the
phrase "Shut up and kiss me" - or an equivalent, more emphatic phrase,
which would indicate a demand for less "politeness."  A very important
moral to this story is that it is often necessary to take some risks in
order to be happy.  A very wrong conclusion would be that the rudest
asshole gets the girl - or the guy.

This author's greatest strength, I think, lies in his sense of timing. 
For example, he has the ability to make me think I'm witnessing two people
getting hotter and hotter until they can't stand it any more; and I can
almost feel it when they explode.  He seems to have an intuitive grasp of
what to tell me and when to tell it to me in order to maintain my
interest.  My husband has a similar ability, but he accomplishes this
effect through direct access to my body parts.

The main "weakness" to this story is that at times the author seems to
want to cram too much sex into it.  I have a theory about why the author
has done this.  I suspect that he has contacted a publisher (whom I know
and respect, but will not name in this review) about publishing a version
of this story as a novel; and that the publisher insisted on more
instances of explicit sex.  In fact, the publisher I am thinking of makes
specific demands, such as (1) a wide variety of sex that is likely to be
perceived as kinky, and (2) at least two separate instances of specific
sex per chapter.  I know of at least one good author who has simply
stopped writing erotic stories because he felt that these demands
compromised his literary integrity.

I may be off the track in suggesting that the present author has "padded"
his story with extra sex in order to appeal to a publisher.  I do know
that there are several instances where the storyline seems to take an
unnecessary turn that is unrelated to the overall plot.  However, not too
many readers are going to complain about "too much hot sex," and so I'll
let these "digressions" slide.  What I do know is that I review another
story ("Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil) in this issue of CR that
is every bit as good as this one: and that other story has about a
snowball's chance in my pussy of ever getting published by that same
publisher.  It's "too long on story" and "too short on real sex."  I think
it's about time that that publisher (or some other publisher) made it
clear that it IS OK to have hot sex in the context of a good story.  The
world is ready for good stories that contain hot sex - without quotas and
restrictions on what kind and how much explicit sex needs to be included
in each chapter.  These stories don't need to appear on news stands in the
supermarkets; but they should be available to mature adults who want more
than a quick fix from their erotica.

As I reread the preceding paragraph, I realize I have overstated my case;
but I think I'll leave it.  The present author HAS, in fact, done a
commendable job of trying to deal with the full personality of the main
character.  This is an excellent story.  In fact, if I would have found
this story without knowing the author's name, I would have guessed that it
was written by Delta, who made my Top 50 List of 1995 not once but four
times.  That's one of the strongest compliments I can give to a story.

 "Sarah and Sister Theresa" by Ann Douglas (AnnD55@Pipeline.Com).  Nuns
have always interested me.  In my days as a Catholic school student I
hated the bitches because they were so petty and self-righteous and
admired them because they were so pretty and so dedicated.  In my adult
days I have easily reconciled these conflicting images by realizing that
the nuns I knew had individual personalities just like anyone else.  One
of my closest friends became a nun (actually, a sister - there's a
difference, she tells me) and subsequently quit her order and got married.
 She's about as normal as anyone else.  She still goes to meetings of
ex-nuns and continues to meet with her friends who are still nuns; and she
says that ex-nuns are about the same as ex-golfers, ex-engineers, and
ex-politicians.

She assures me that the stories about secret passages between convents and
rectories and about aborted children of illicit unions between priests and
nuns being buried in secret basement cemeteries are essentially vicious
rumors.  However, she hastens to add that she knows very little about
bishops and popes, and so these rumors may be true about the upper
hierarchy.  {My friend has very little respect for upper hierarchies}.  My
friend tells me that there seem to have been two main reasons for women
her age (currently 40+) entering the convent: dedication to the service of
others and an inability to get along with men.  Actually, my friend feels
that the reasons acted jointly: many women who had trouble getting along
with men would find the convent an honorable way out - becoming a
dedicated nun seemed a lot more honorable than becoming a lesbian or an
old maid.  My friend thinks that lots of young men became priests for the
same reasons.

My friend tells me that ex-nuns (and presumably real nuns) are not
especially inclined to be lesbians.  She believes that about 20% of her
friends who have left the convent are practicing lesbians; the rest have
either remained celibate or have entered heterosexual relationships. 
While in the convent, nuns are required to avoid relationships with men
(because of their vows of celibacy/virginity), and so whatever
relationships they do develop are likely to be with women.  However,
genital contact is considered sinful; and an active lesbian would be
booted out of most orders.  They're supposed to sublimate (as Freud would
put it) or be a bride of Christ (as mother superior would put it).  My
friend maintains that the avoidance of sex or the clandestine practice of
sex turned some women into real bitches; but many others were (and are)
exceptionally intelligent and dedicated people.  It is my own opinion that
lots of ex-nuns read the stories on this newsgroup; they just don't
advertise that fact.

I told my friend she should write a book.  She says maybe she will; but I
don't think she'll post it on this newsgroup.  So I thought I should share
this information with you as an introduction to this repost of Ann
Douglas's excellent story.  Too often people post stories about nuns in
which either (1) the nuns are in heat, trying to seduce little kids, or
(2) a bunch of sinister studs rape the nuns.  These stories may be
enjoyable in their own right, but I like an occasional story about normal
people who are in love.  The character portrayed by Ann in this story is
more in line with the dedicated nuns my friend knew.

In this story, Sarah is a young woman who teaches in the same school with
Sister Theresa, a young nun who had been Sarah's teacher several years
earlier.  In fact, it was partly because Sarah had spied on Sister Theresa
in the shower that Sarah had come to the conclusion that she was herself a
lesbian.  At the end of a long school day Sarah's car breaks down; and she
has to spend the night at the convent, sharing a room with Sister Theresa.
 In the middle of the night, Sarah awakens to find Sister Theresa
masturbating and calling out another nun's name in her sleep.  You'll have
to read the story yourself to find out what comes next.  Right now I'll
just assure you that it's hot and romantic but not sleazy.

(continued in 3/3)
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From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d
Subject: Celeste's Top 15 Stories - August (3/3)
Date: 4 Sep 1996 11:43:39 -0400
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
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Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com
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Reply-To: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801)
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Status: N

Celeste's Top 15 Stories -August 1996 (3/3)

(Continued from 2/3)

"SNIP!" by Vickie Tern (VickieTern@aol.com).  Men are often such
anti-intellectuals.  Why would an educated man skip past this story and
instead read one entitled "Drunk Guys Fuck GirlS with big Tits in the
Ass"?  I suppose it has something to do with the legendary male fear of
castration.  I assure you men that this review will be harmless.  For now,
assume that the STORY may give you nightmares; but my review will be
friendly - even humorous and enlightening, perhaps.  Nothing will happen
to your goddam balls while you read this review.  I promise.  So relax.

First let me share with you what my encyclopedia tells us about
castration. Castration is the surgical removal of one or both testicles of
a male person or animal in order to suppress the development or function
of the sexual glands. Male farm animals are castrated, or gelded, in order
to improve the breed or make the animals more docile; house pets may be
castrated to keep them from wandering or producing unwanted offspring.

The practice of castrating human males is an extremely old one. In
imperial China and other Oriental empires castrated men known as eunuchs
occupied important court positions, and in Europe in the 16th to the 18th
century male singers were sometimes castrated before puberty so that they
would retain a soprano or alto vocal range. {The term Unix is pronounced
exactly the same as "eunuchs."  The fact that programmers typically see
nothing funny when they say, "My job is to take care of the Unix system"
shows either an unfamiliarity with the English language or an abysmal
absence of humorous insight among these poor drudges.}

Today the operation may be performed on men with cancer of the prostate or
certain diseases of the testicles. If the operation is done after puberty,
it produces sterility but has little or no effect on secondary sex
characteristics.  There; that wasn't so bad was it?  Well, actually
Freudian psychoanalysts think it IS pretty bad.  In fact, they have coined
a term called the "castration complex" to refer to the notion that a child
may feel that he or she will be or has already been genitally mutilated as
a punishment for sexual and aggressive desires.  {As I've said before, Mr.
Rogers of the famous television neighborhood has a song about this
childhood problem.}  If these and other complexes remain unresolved and
persist into adult life, they can produce disturbances in the person's
love relationships and ability to work productively.  No wonder you guys
feel anxious when you look at this title.  That exclamation point doesn't
exactly alleviate your anxiety, does it?  SNIP!

Now on to the present story.  Aurora and the narrator come together
frequently to fuck like rutting rabbits and to play delightful little
games, like languorous courtesan, Amazon princess, bitch in heat, and
stallion (not one of Aurora's favorites).  Aurora also enjoys snippety
snip, which involves hacking away (with the fingers as imaginary scissors)
at hair, clothing, and other needless appendages in the region of her
lover's groin.  When he objects to this as even an imaginary activity,
Aurora asks him why he is concerned. After all, he doesn't really need his
testicles. He doesn't intend to have more kids.  She certainly doesn't
want children. So why keep the testicles? They're in the way when he jogs
or plays tennis or does anything healthy, bouncing, and jouncing. When
he's Aurora's captive maiden in her dungeon, they ruin the view; and
anyone can put him into agony by punching or kicking him in the balls. 
And, she might add, according to my encyclopedia, if the operation is done
after puberty, it has little or no effect on secondary sex
characteristics.

Aurora has been to a detailed sex education class.  They didn't teach me
this stuff in the ninth grade.  Actually, they didn't teach me some of
this stuff until right now.

At Aurora's urging, the narrator undergoes surgery in which he mistakenly
thinks he will get a practically permanent hard-on; whereas in fact he is
really undergoing castration.  During a crucial point in the story he asks
the doctor, "Will it always be hard?" The doctor answers, "No, it gets
easier with time." I always urge my students not to use "hard" when they
really mean difficult.  Following my teaching would have been useful here.
 Ooops!  The poor guy was too far gone from the anesthesia to deal with
grammatical niceties.  

Hear that, guys? You've got to make English grammar automatic in your
personal lives.  Otherwise, you might get your balls cut off.

A further grammatical lesson ensues.  Near the end of the surgery, the guy
wonders if she has cut his cock off.  The doctor reassures him: "I'm
taping your penis to one side, to keep it out of the way until the wound
heals. There's a catheter in it now, so you won't need to pee. I'll remove
it tomorrow before we discharge you." Grammar problem:  What's the
antecedent of "it"?  The doctor looks up and smiles. "I mean remove the
catheter, of course! My but your pulse jumped when I said that! No, this
is only an orchiectomy."  

When the guy comes out of the anesthesia, Aurora is at his side. "Aurora,
do you know what they did?" he asks. "SHE did, dear. It's a very simple
operation, and doesn't really need a team." Aurora really knows her
grammar!  And you guys thought this story would scare you!  There's
nothing scary about good grammar.

Back to the story.  The guy soon realizes that what's done is done.  All
the resentment in the world wouldn't bring his testicles back. As the
saying goes, "There's no use crying over snipped off testicles."  The
doctor has done what she thought he wanted, and had asked him twice, and
he had signed for the operation . He just hadn't picked up on her cues
while they were talking.  Need I say more about the value of the skills
learned in a high school English class?

Now, let's see what you have learned.  The next day the doctor visits her
patient and says, "Your body's manufacturing traces of the hormones you
need to maintain firm skin texture, and other sex characteristics, and
above all to maintain sexual desire. But not enough. In a few days you'll
lose all interest in that part of life, when what's there now is used up.
So we need to replace the hormones your testicles once manufactured with
the other kind right away. You understand this, don't you?"  Now, what
question should this guy ask the doctor before he gives an affirmative
answer?  That's right!  He needs to ask if the continued therapy is going
to give him MALE or FEMALE hormones.  To put it another way, he needs to
verify that he and the doctor are on the same page of the program; and
with his track record so far, he should be skeptical.  {If you answered
that the patient's next question should be "Is this going to be covered by
insurance?", you would be right, of course - but that answer would be more
appropriate for an economics class.}

If all this worries you guys, just find a girl who has a harmless hobby -
like cow tipping - instead of castration.  Even defenstration might be
better than castration, unless she lives above the third floor.

I don't want to ruin the ending for you.  As you may know, this author
always has logically complete and happy endings - at least they're happy
if you buy into the right perspective - and, of course, if you can handle
the grammar.  

I personally think this is the best Vickie Tern story I have yet read. 
And that's saying a lot!

"Steve's Story" by Steve3925 (Steve3925@aol.com).  This is a marvelously
well-written story.  I could write a whole issue of Celestial Reviews
about this one story.  Instead, I'll try to focus as concisely as possible
on a few key ideas.

The story is about a 16-year-old boy who has testicular cancer and has to
undergo surgery. The narrative is written in the form of a diary; and
Steve's daily entries show how his thoughts and emotions change as a
result of the operation and subsequent hormonal therapy.  The story gives
the impression of sensitive, touching realism.

One potential problem with the story is the medical angle.  This surgery
simply does NOT typically have effects like those described in this story.
 To the author's credit, he points this out repeatedly by having the
doctor say that this is an extremely unusual reaction.  Actually, it's my
opinion that it's so unusual that it's science fiction.  Reactions like
this occur approximately as often as people engage in time travel.  The
story IS realistic once we suspend our disbelief enough to believe that
the reaction described in the story is possible and has occurred to Steve.
 On the other hand, there are probably thousands of young men who undergo
this kind of surgery every year.  The last thing they need is to be
anxious that they are being turned into a girl.

Let me repeat what I said in a previous issue about castration, which is
the surgical removal of one or both testicles of a male person or animal
in order to suppress the development or function of the sexual glands. (In
the present story the purpose is to destroy a cancerous growth; the
effects stated in the preceding sentence are side effects.)  Male farm
animals are castrated, or gelded, in order to improve the breed or make
the animals more docile; house pets may be castrated to keep them from
wandering or producing unwanted offspring.

Nowadays castration may be performed on men with cancer of the prostate or
certain diseases of the testicles. If the operation is done after puberty,
it produces sterility but has little or no effect on secondary sex
characteristics.  Hormonal treatments enable the castrated person to
function like a normal male (except that he is sterile, having received
the equivalent of a vasectomy).  It WOULD be medically possible to follow
castration with a sex-change operation; but this would require a separate,
deliberate operation.

I'm certain that there are medical types out there in my audience.  If I
am inaccurate, please let me know.  I won't embarrass you.  I'll just
incorporate corrections into a future review when the author reposts this
story.

A second problem arises from the labeling of this story with the "alphabet
soup" that typically follows the title on the subject line.  This one was
unlabeled.  Dr. Bob, the author of the Story Codes FAQ, argues
convincingly that such labels are important, because they enable readers
to zero in on stories that they will like and to avoid topics in which
they are not interested.  The problem is that it would be very difficult
and possibly counterproductive to label this story.  Without using the
"alphabet soup," I have labeled this as "emerging adolescence."  I assume
a correct Story Code for this story would be TG (for transgender), because
the protagonist essentially changes from a boy to a girl during the story.
 The problem is that notifying the reader up front that this is a TG story
would possibly ruin the story's impact.  As it is, we are able to discover
the changes in the boy's body and emotions at about the same time he does;
and I would hate to ruin that by giving away the plot in the subject line.

As I have said, this is an excellent story.  I encourage you to read it;
and I plan to look for other stories by this author.
\