Path: newsfeed.direct.ca!news.wildstar.net!news.ecn.uoknor.edu!feed1.news.erols.com!news.bbnplanet.com!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!portc02.blue.aol.com!audrey01.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories Subject: Celestial Reviews 143 - Dec 14 Date: 14 Dec 1996 16:27:02 GMT Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com Lines: 286 Message-ID: <19961214162600.LAA25628@ladder01.news.aol.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: ladder01.news.aol.com X-Admin: news@aol.com Xref: newsfeed.direct.ca alt.sex.stories:130006 Status: N Celestial Reviews 143 - Dec 14, 1996 Note: I am compiling my Top 100 List for 1996. It should not surprise you to know that First Love will probably be on that list. It is still not clear to me who the author is of that story. I would appreciate it if someone would tell me who wrote that story, so that I do not have to list it as Unknown Author. Second Note: For the past year I have been hoping to find time to write a sexy story that could teach vocabulary to horny young people who normally resist traditional vocabulary instruction. Really bad teachers tell students that they can do better on the SAT by memorizing the definitions of a bunch of words. This approach rarely works. My plan has been to take a subset of those words and put them into a really good story. Then the students would be instructed to read the story at least three times before the test. I m willing to bet that learners reading my story would score better on a test administered, say, a month after the original test than would students who were simply told to learn the list of words to prepare for a test. Since I spend so much time reading and reviewing these stories, however, it is obvious to me that I ll never write my story. So I am proposing the Third Annual Celestial Writing Contest. The story can be of any length, but students should reasonably be able to (and eager to) read it three times in one week. It should use all of the words on the following list. Preferably, it should use them in creative ways that enable learners to see their meaning in context, and it should use the words more than once - in fact, as often as possible without becoming silly. The story should not be obviously didactic - that is, it should be a story about sex, not about learning these words. If this idea catches on, I ll be happy to supply to the authors or to others a vocabulary test based on these words. When I announce the winners and the authors post the stories, I ll post the vocabulary test. Readers can use the test before and after they read the story to see if they actually learn the words. Since the Christmas holidays are coming up, I ll give you a generous deadline - January 15. However, as I tell my students, don t put this assignment off until the last minute. Your best bet is to start now and then come back to it many times in the coming weeks. It IS fair to communicate with others and even to take advantage of my proofreading service. If you send me your story early enough, I ll even give you feedback myself. Here are the words (all taken from one of those SAT study lists): acerbic, adept, ameliorate, apocryphal, assuage, blithe, constrict, credulous, dilatory, egregious, fatuous, guile, hedonism, impervious, incipient, irascible, lethargy, mundane, prolific, redundant. It s OK to use alternate forms of these words - for example, blithely instead of blithe or incredulous for credulous. All 20 of these are words that intelligent people use when the context calls for them (Quite possibly I may have used them here in Celestial Reviews.), but most high school students have no idea what they mean. They are useful words; and if you write a story with them, at the very least YOU will probably learn some functional vocabulary words. Have fun! And thanks to Mark Aster for accidentally giving me the stimulus to suggest this contest. - Celeste Bike Rides by Dulcinea (sexy bike ride) 10, 9, 9 A Fireside Love by Ron Glick (masturbation & dreamlike sex) 5, 8, 9 Panties by Tom Bombadil (bdsm) 9.5, 10, 10 Eating Out by Unknown Author (threesome) 9, 8, 8 Dreaming by Unknown Author (sexy tryst) 7, 6, 6 Young Stuff by Jefferson James (teenager rape) 7, 8, 7 Restless Memories by Poppet (female masturbating) 10, 10, 10 Positive Therapy by Sam Phencer (hospital sex) 6, 7, 7 "Chauffeur's Dirty Job" by Caesar (employee humps boss s drunken wife) 10, 10, 10 Cousin Tanda by Unknown Author (youthful frolic with a cousin) 9.5, 9, 9 Bike Rides by Dulcinea (Dulcinea97@aol.com). The man and woman are racing their bikes. I suppose he could overtake her, but he enjoys the view from behind - muscles, buttocks, and all that. In fact, he sort of envies the bicycle seat - right there between her legs, up tight against her pussy - well, you get the idea. It s enough to give a guy a hard-on, and a boner makes it difficult to race a bicycle. Is that a bicycle pump in his pocket, or is he just happy to see her? This is a very short, pleasant, and sexy story. Ratings for Bike Rides Athena (technical quality):10 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 A Fireside Love by Ron Glick (phoenixprime@marsweb.com). This story describes a woman masturbating in front of a cozy fireplace. Then a mysterious lover joins her, and together they rise to new heights of ecstasy. In a preface the author states that he changed from the first person in an original version to a second person narrative in this version. He says that this didn t catch on with magazines, which have apparently rejected the story. My advice is that it s not the person that stands in the way of publishing a story like this. {Actually, he is the THIRD person.} The problem is with numerous other grammatical errors - such as verb tense and verb agreement and slightly awkward sentence structures. I say this not to be unfriendly, but to offer encouragement. This story is highly erotic - almost poetic in many places. The author should take advantage of my free proofreading service or at least have an {initially} unaroused friend proofread his stories before posting them. The result would almost certainly be an exciting improvement in the quality of his stories. Now remember: I m being friendly; but this sentence is simply too good to pass up: Abandoned is his sense of gentile behavior. Since the sentence means that the lover expresses his lust more forcefully, I think the author meant to say gentle. As written, the sentence seems to suggest on-the-spot circumcision. Ratings for A Fireside Love Athena (technical quality): 5 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 Panties by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com). The title refers to the fact that various people (the ones who are not constantly naked) often have to change their panties, because they have become severely moistened through sexual stimulation, usually resulting from observation of ambient nudity and concomitant fantasies but sometimes from more direct involvement in the action. The protagonist takes a job as a sort of governess for a rich family. Her main responsibilities are to look after the children and occasionally to administer discipline. In America, such people are known as teachers. The author says he tried to write a deirdresque story. In a way, he has come up short, because Deirdre would never write a story this long. That is, there tends to be an inverse relationship between deirdreness and story length. Other than that, the story does a good job of expressing the logical irrationality of a Deirdre-style story. Ratings for Panties Athena (technical quality): 9.5 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 Eating Out by Unknown Author. This story s title may deceive you. You probably thought it was about a guy and a girl having oral sex, but actually it s about two young ladies who run a catering service. But then, you see, what turns them on the most is sharing a guy, putting on a little lezzie show for him and getting him really horny before they fuck him. This story describes one of their escapades when they do just that. A good time is had by all; and you may have been right about that title after all. Ratings for Eating Out Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 Dreaming by Unknown Author. This melodramatic little THC repost tells of a man and a woman who pull together their tattered lives by consummating the love that they began in cyberspace. Isn t the Internet wonderful? So blindly they tumble on, down the path to fulfillment, finally seeing the light ahead, in the absence of the whistling train. That metaphor escaped me too. The story has potential, but it s carelessly written, overly dramatic, and incompletely developed. Ratings for Dreaming Athena (technical quality): 7 Venus (plot & character): 6 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6 Young Stuff by Jefferson James (Tymm@cris.com). She couldn't be more than 11 or 12 years old, with long, straight, sandy brown hair and big green eyes, wearing a pair of slutty-looking hot pants and a halter top. He s 6 3 and 300 pounds of biker-style hormones, working as a bouncer at a club that she s trying to get into. She wants to go backstage; and his fatherly spirit leads him to try to scare her off by telling her that she ll have to suck his cock first. She doesn t scare that easily. She doesn t give him a real blowjob; she doesn t play with his balls, stroke his dick, or even move her head. She just sucks on his cock like it s a straw. But, being a swell guy, he doesn t want to discourage her. So, rather than tell her what she s doing wrong, he decides to face-fuck her. Then he lets her visit a dressing room, and after that he rapes her. He gets caught raping her, but the other guy just joins in. The story ends with these words: Sure, Chrissie was tight. But, in my opinion, she was a pretty lame fuck. I found the story to be depressing. I have known girls to act this way, and the guy didn t even really enjoy what he did to her. Aside from a lot of messed up grammar, this is a reasonably good description of no-win sex that benefits no one. Ratings for Young Stuff Athena (technical quality): 7 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7 Restless Memories by Poppet (woodruff@bobcat.ent.ohiou.edu). The woman wakes up in the middle of the night, thinking of her lover, who is not there. So she masturbates while she thinks of him. That s all there is to it, but it s a very good story. I know the feeling, and I know the response. I suspect that this was written to excite the lust of an unknown recipient in cyberspace. Second-person narratives rooted in chat groups usually are weak stories, but this one is in a class with Dulcinea s best erotic snippets. Read it, if you need a quickie. Ratings for Restless Memories Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 Positive Therapy by Sam Phencer (phencers@spowell.demon.co.uk). Caitlin is a sexy nurse. The patient in Intensive Care was the victim of an accident three months ago, seemingly uninjured except for a blow to his head which had rendered him completely unconscious, oblivious to any form of stimulation, such as needle pricks, scratches, or other intrusions inflicted by numerous doctors trying to coax him back from his nearly comatose state. The title is Positive Therapy. What do you think will happen? The doctors have simply been using the wrong form of stimulation. One night, while Caitlin is holding his penis in her hands (That s how Swedish nurses take the pulse of male patients), she feels it twitch. Quickly, she administers mouth to cock resuscitation. It works! Not right away - but when Caitlin returns the next day, Sleeping Beauty has been moved out of intensive care. This is a nice little story, but it has even more interesting potential. In the canonization of Catholic saints, the saint-makers have to attribute miracles to the candidate for sainthood. Now what if this young man s mother had been praying to, say, Blessed Anthony Beelzebub for a cure from his hopeless state? Caitlin never did report her therapy, but the guy was cured. It would be possible that Blessed Anthony could gain sainthood under false pretenses. This may sound farfetched, but one day when I was younger my Dad threw away the little plastic Saint Christopher statue that he used to keep in the car. He explained that the Church had just decided that there was no St. Christopher after all. You don t suppose.... This story suffers from faulty grammar and sentence structure. I suspect that English is not the author s native language. If that s the case, he does better than most of us English speakers would do in a second language. The language barrier not only causes grammar errors, it also makes the entire story seem a bit stilted. The story would have benefited from someone proofreading it before the author posted it. Ratings for Positive Therapy Athena (technical quality): 6 Venus (plot & character): 7 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7 "Chauffeur's Dirty Job" by Caesar (caesar@bigrock.com). When the chauffeur is asked to drive the intoxicated wife home, she comes on to him by masturbating wildly in the back seat of the limousine. By the time he pulls the car over to have sex with her, she is asleep in her drunken stupor. He screws her anyway, and she wakes up mumbling the name of a third party - neither the chauffeur nor the husband. This is an edited version of a story that originally included a large number of typographical errors (usually correctly spelled but wrong words) that were often extremely distracting. This story proves the value of proofreading. Those errors are now gone, and this has become a very good story. Ratings for Chauffeur's Dirty Job Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 Cousin Tanda by Unknown Author (editor@spellbinder.bc.ca). The guy has been staying on the farm with his cousin Tanda. One morning she awakens him early and asks him to join her in some voyeurism. By that I mean they watch some pigs copulate. There may be something to the old theory of Monkey see, monkey do, because immediately afterward Tanda asks him if he d like to have a shot at it - with her, of course, not with a pig. They do pretty well! This is a short, but very good story. It was presented as a sort of an advertisement for Lust So Stories, who have a web site at http://spellbinder.bc.ca/lss/. Ratings for Cousin Tanda Athena (technical quality): 9.5 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9