Path: newsfeed.direct.ca!news.wildstar.net!news.ecn.uoknor.edu!feed1.news.erols.com!howland.erols.net!portc02.blue.aol.com!portc01.blue.aol.com!audrey01.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: celeste801@aol.com Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories Subject: Celestial Reviews 141 - Dec 7 Date: 9 Dec 1996 07:41:40 GMT Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com Lines: 199 Message-ID: <19961209074100.CAA06336@ladder01.news.aol.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: ladder01.news.aol.com X-Admin: news@aol.com Xref: newsfeed.direct.ca alt.sex.stories:128153 Status: N Celestial Reviews 141 - Dec 7, 1996 Note: For the past year I have been hoping to find time to write a sexy story that could teach vocabulary to horny young people who normally resist traditional vocabulary instruction. Really bad teachers tell students that they can do better on the SAT by memorizing the definitions of a bunch of words. This approach rarely works. My plan has been to take a subset of those words and put them into a really good story. Then the students would be instructed to read the story at least three times before the test. I m willing to bet that learners reading my story would score better on a test administered, say, a month after the original test than would students who were simply told to learn the list of words to prepare for a test. Since I spend so much time reading and reviewing these stories, however, it is obvious to me that I ll never write my story. So I am proposing the Third Annual Celestial Writing Contest. The story can be of any length, but students should reasonably be able to (and eager to) read it three times in one week. It should use all of the words on the following list. Preferably, it should use them in creative ways that enable learners to see their meaning in context, and it should use the words more than once - in fact, as often as possible without becoming silly. The story should not be obviously didactic - that is, it should be a story about sex, not about learning these words. If this idea catches on, I ll be happy to supply to the authors or to others a vocabulary test based on these words. When I announce the winners and the authors post the stories, I ll post the vocabulary test. Readers can use the test before and after they read the story to see if they actually learn the words. Since the Christmas holidays are coming up, I ll give you a generous deadline - January 15. However, as I tell my students, don t put this assignment off until the last minute. Your best bet is to start now and then come back to it many times in the coming weeks. It IS fair to communicate with others and even to take advantage of my proofreading service. If you send me your story early enough, I ll even give you feedback myself. Here are the words (all taken from one of those SAT study lists): acerbic, adept, ameliorate, apocryphal, assuage, blithe, constrict, credulous, dilatory, egregious, fatuous, guile, hedonism, impervious, incipient, irascible, lethargy, mundane, prolific, redundant. All 20 of these are words that intelligent people use when the context calls for them (Quite possibly I may have used them here in Celestial Reviews.), but most high school students have no idea what they mean. They are useful words; and if you write a story with them, at the very least YOU will probably learn some functional vocabulary words. Have fun! And thanks to Mark Aster for accidentally giving me the stimulus to suggest this contest. - Celeste New Start by Dulcinea (romance) 8, 8, 9 Wagtail by Uther Pendragon (good, creative story) 10, 10, 10 Fifi's Birthday Treat by Kim (gross bdsm) 9, 5, 1 To the Point! by Dulcinea (romance) 10, 8, 8 Jan by Caesar (forced seduction) 9, 8, 8 Fun with the Bundy s by Gold Leader (Sitcom parody) 7, 6, 5 New Start by Dulcinea (Dulcinea97@aol.com). This story is unusual for Dulcinea. When I was a few paragraphs into it, I literally looked back at the beginning to make sure I had not loaded another Boswell story by mistake. I m used to sweet flirtations from Dulcinea. This one is about a woman named Beth who is serving as a friend s bridesmaid shortly after she herself has experienced a vicious date rape. The story has stylistic flaws. Poor proofreading has resulted in omitted and incorrect words (e.g., viscous for vicious and lay for lie ). Aside from those problems, this is a good - but not great - story by a person who usually writes very different kinds of stories. Ratings for New Start Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 Wagtail by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). The keynote speaker for the Shriners convention was at the podium, delivering the opening address. He asked, "How many of you have ever seen a ghost?". There was a showing of perhaps forty hands, to which the speaker asked, "How many of you have ever spoken with a ghost?". This time twenty or so conventioneers raised their hands. To the next question, "How many of you have ever actually touched a ghost?" only about ten hands filled the air. The speaker paused for a moment, and then delivered his final query: "How many of you have had sex with a ghost?" In the very back of the auditorium a lone hand remained aloft. "Would the ushers please escort that gentleman to the stage?" After a couple of moments delay the man was brought forward. When the man arrived on stage, the speaker asked him, "Well Sir, tell us what it was like to have sex with a ghost.", The man replied, "Ghost? I m sorry, I thought ya said goat!" Which brings us to the subject of this story. Or at least as close as I can get. In my index at the beginning of each set of reviews I try to use a short phrase to describe each story. Right now I have no idea how I ll describe this one. The narrator is King of his Family, which he runs with an iron hand. When he catches the family dog, Wagtail, with his tongue licking his teenage daughter s pussy, he paddles the girl severely. He enjoys the spankings, even though she hates them. Activities escalate. To complicate matters, the man next-door is a shut-in who uses binoculars to look at the world and a computer to communicate with it. The sexual descriptions are not at all vivid, and even though the story contains bestiality, incest, and rape, it s not predominantly about any of those topics. It s just a good, creative story. Ratings for Wagtail Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 Fifi's Birthday Treat by Kim (Kim@nym.alias.net). I m going to conjecture that this story is satire. The guy (whose name is Fifi and who is dressed in a black babydoll) has been gagged overnight with panties that have gone unwashed for a week, and in the morning his Mistress is trying to coax him to an erection while his cock is encased in a contraption that is lined with hundreds of tiny pins, while he dutifully licks stale cum and excrement from her glorious body. She refers to him as little lady, and he calls her Boss. Later she hangs him from a ceiling hook and beats him severely about 60 times with a riding crop. She numbers each welt as she raises it - probably to inform the Guinness people in case she sets a record. Oddly enough, Fifi doesn t have an orgasm, possibly because he is still wearing the pin-lined sheath. When she releases him an hour later, he begs HER forgiveness. She tells him to shut up and gives a bowl of dogfood to eat. Since the food is too dry, she urinates in it for him. When she removes his butt plug, she has him lick it clean before she takes him out to defecate in the back yard. Moved by a sudden surge of generosity, she hoses him down and lets him change clothes before she hangs him from a branch in the backyard and lets a neighbor guy sodomize him. Then there s a surprise ending - but heck, I was pretty much surprised all the way through this story. As I said, I assume this is satire; but I m not sure what the story is satirizing. Maybe it s a pilot for one of those jeans commercials on American TV. Ratings for Fifi's Birthday Treat Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 1 To the Point! by Dulcinea (Dulcinea97@aol.com). The man gets turned on watching his wife sharpen the colored pencils and blow the dust off them. I ve never before thought of pencil sharpening as a phallic art, but it makes sense. ANYTHING makes sense after my experience with Fifi in the last story. The husband leaves the wife to her work and tries to watch TV, but he can t get the erotic pencil sharpener out of his mind. When she comes into the room, he is giving his cock the gentle once-over, and this reminds her of sharpening pencils - No! I just made that last part up; but they do make gentle love. Ratings for To the Point! Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 Jan by Caesar (caesar@bigrock.com). The narrator has lusted after Jan for many years; but Jan has remained true to her husband. Now the husband has gotten into trouble with the law, and only the narrator can get him off; but he wants Jan as his price to help her husband. This is a simple but creative plot. The story is not particularly sexy; the rape comes across more as a power thing than as a sexual activity, which is usually the case with real-life rapes. This is not a great story, but certainly a good one. Ratings for Jan Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 Fun with the Bundy s by Gold Leader (Wedge@Empire.com). Last week I was going through hell with these stories. I was reading nothing but solid 10 s. I felt that I would lose my credibility unless I zapped somebody with a low rating. I was tempted to review one of those charming essays on Why America (or perhaps Canaduh) is Best, Worst, or Really Sucks, but what I really needed was a quasi-literate plot with mindless sex that I could enjoy but which would not actually stimulate me to a pre-orgasmic state. This story - to which I was attracted by the misplaced apostrophe in the title - fit several of those requirements. It s a parody of the sitcom Married with Children, which itself is a parody of sex life in an American family. There is no plot - just some kid whose name fluctuates between Dan and Karl banging Kelly, Peg, and the lady next door. Ratings for Fun with the Bundy s Athena (technical quality): 7 Venus (plot & character): 6 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5