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From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories
Subject: Celestial Reviews 118 - Sept 18
Date: 18 Sep 1996 10:59:27 -0400
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Celestial Reviews 118 - Sept 18, 1996

Note: Every once in a while I get mild complaints that I have been giving
too many high ratings.  I have been aware of this trend in recent weeks;
but I assure you that the problem is not that my ratings are getting soft,
but rather that I have been reviewing some very good stories.

There are three authors for whom I've agreed to review all their stories,
with the agreement that they or someone else will repost the stories on
a.s.s.  So each week I review a Michael K. Smith story, another by Mary
Anne Mohanraj, and a package of several stories from the Trinity Trilogy. 
I'm willing to stick it to authors if they deserve a low rating, but these
stories are of invariably high quality.  That's why I'm trying to help get
them reposted!

Then every weekend I get a story from Mark Aster.  Several other really
good authors have been sending me whatever they publish more sporadically;
but during any given week I am likely to find in my mailbox stories by Ann
Douglas, SueNH, the Ng Sisters, or Backrub - to name just a few authors
from recent issues.  And if Delta or Dirty Dawg ever send me another
story, I'm not going to pass on those.  In fact, I have posted a couple of
lengthy lists of authors whose stories I try to read as soon as I get
them.  This list keeps growing, and these people all write good stories.

So to break the trend, I occasionally go out and troll for stories by
authors I don't know.  So up pops Uncle Mike; and the bastard has
something like 45 excellent parodies that he keeps posting or reposting -
even though he's allegedly been dead for years.  Then a reader sends me a
story by this Alphabet guy from England or Britain or someplace across the
Pond; and I practically die laughing while my pussy oozes fluids and I
have to take a break to wake up my husband and relieve myself.

So I figure I can read maybe 8-10 stories each issue, provided I watch no
television, and still have time to teach my classes properly, enjoy
volleyball and a few other sports, visit with my family, and fuck my
husband's brains out.  And as the quality of stories keeps improving, I
tend to share them with my husband, who thereafter tends to put additional
demands on my "free time."  {Sometimes I think the main reason I favor
monogamy is because I don't have time for an affair, because I'm reading
all these damned stories.}

So there are 8-10 slots for stories in each issue. Four of them are
automatically gone to regular first-class writers each issue.  Then I pick
up an average of another five or six stories every week, which brings the
total of excellent stories to six or seven per issue.  And as if that's
not bad enough, some of these perverts not only write good stories, they
write LONG good stories.

What's a girl to do? To ease my conscience I troll a.s.s. again and look
for stories.  Should I deliberately look for bad stories?  I mean, do you
really need my advice to skip a story called "stiff hard dick." I suppose
I might be missing something in "My fiancee's humiliation," but that just
sounds like something I don't need in my life.  I guess I could give lower
ratings if I reviewed LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL (Part 1, M/f, severe paddling),
but I tend to look for titles a little more imaginative; and so I come up
with things like "The Better To..." by M. M. Twassel.  And so I find yet
another author that I want to check out more regularly.  It turns out that
people who show a little ingenuity in their titles attract my attention,
and those same authors tend to write better stories.

For those of you who care, the worst story I read recently was "Catherine"
by an author whose name I won't mention.  It was a mindless bit of
transgender magic that earned scores of 9, 1, 1 back in CR 111.  Maybe
that will convince you that I'm not a complete pushover.

Seriously, I'm not really complaining.  This is my kind of problem!  I
have too many good stories to review!

The genuine concern, of course, is that if you have time to read only a
few stories each week, it's difficult to use my ratings to make those
choices, if I'm rating all the stories between 8 and 10 in all the
categories.  I guess that could be a problem, but the stories deserve the
ratings they've been getting.  If you choose a story with a high rating,
you'll have a good story to read.  As the song says: "It's like a car
that's too fast or sex that's too good.  There ain't no such thing as
having too many good stories."

Second note: I received an e-mail ad from a Psychic Line this morning.  My
question is this: if those people were really psychics, wouldn't they have
known that I would throw the mail away as soon as I received it?  I
haven't paid attention to a psychic since about 20 years ago, when my
horoscope told me that if I ever listened to another psychic I would lose
all my sex appeal.  

Just one further digression - last week (on Friday the 13th, in fact) I
received a message with a good-luck totem that said it had been "around
the world 4 times."  What does this mean in cyberspace?  I didn't pass it
on, of course, because I didn't know which direction to send it.

- Celeste

      "The Other Woman" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (infidelity) 
            10, 8, 9
      "Charlie" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (infidelity & quickie) 
            10, 910, 10
      "Bean City" by Mark (bdsm) 10, 10, 10
      "Home Again" by Ann Douglas (romance) 10, 10, 10
      "Stars in Our Eyes" by Mark Aster (romantic outdoor
            voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
      "First Hand Research" by RC (mind control) 10, 8, 8
      "Secretary Love" by Fin Haddie (office romance) 10, 9, 9
      "Pansy Pond" by (forced feminization & bdsm) 9.5, 9, 9
      "Rene and Georgette" by Margaret Grace (romance) 
            10, 10, 10

"The Other Woman" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu).  Both
this and the next story are extremely short; so you get two for the price
of one this week.  This one is a message from a mistress to her lover, who
is married to someone else.  It's really sort of Dear Abby in a short
story - with emotions instead of the cool reasoning of the Mistress of
Advice to the Lovelorn.  There's nothing really wrong with this story;
it's just brief and not really a full story in the same way that most of
the others are that I review.

Ratings for "The Other Woman"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Charlie" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu).  This story is
about the same length as the last one; but there's more of a story to it. 
A woman gets her husband out of the house just barely in time to have a
frantic quickie with her lover in the kitchen.  Wham, bam, the microwave
timer goes off, thank you ma'am and he's out the door and she's off to
work.  The style of the story nicely parallels the frantic pace and
emotions of the lovemaking session.

Ratings for "Charlie"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Bean City" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk).  The narrator of this story
is a gent who is thirty-five friggin' years old and who spots a classy
lady with a mane of hair as black as scandal and skin so clear and white
you could show a movie on it in a bar in Boston.  They hit it off, and she
takes him to her plush hotel room.  It turns out she's into humiliation or
dominance or some such thing.  He'd rather they just have a bit of fun
while fucking their mutual brains out.  You can read the story to discover
how they work things out.

Ratings for "Bean City"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Home Again" by Ann Douglas (annd55@nyc.pipeline.com).  A.C. has come home
to visit his childhood haunts, and he meets Mary Austin, the 45-year-old
mother with a still great body who is the mother of Josh, one of A.C.
closest childhood friends. We eventually discover that she was also the
target of some of A.C.'s adolescent masturbation fantasies.  

This author takes her time developing a plot.  The first 2 parts (of 7)
are not exactly devoid of sex; we do learn that A.C. used to date Jenny
Wilson with whom he traded cherries on prom night and whose sister was
nicknamed Kleenex Karen because of her proclivity to fill the partial
vacuum in her bra with that product, and also that Josh's sister Dawn
Marie had fucked the whole football team before moving out of the family
domicile right after her 18th birthday.  The author also lays a basis for
future sexual possibilities by letting us know that Mr. Austin is deceased
and that during his adolescence A.C. had once seen Mrs. Austin naked and
by arranging for A.C. to stay overnight while he waits for Josh to come
home in the morning. But in general A.C. and Mary just have dinner and
engage in interesting conversation.  

So the author spends nearly 4 out of 7 parts with nothing more than
innuendo and build-up; but when the sex comes it's both tender and hot.  I
love this kind of story.  Read it yourself for the details.

I secretly wish that Ann Douglas would get somebody to proofread her
stories.  She develops wonderful plots that give full personalities to
people having hot sex, and then she makes annoying mistakes that keep me
from giving her perfect ratings; and then I often have to decide whether
to let a imperfect story onto my Top 15 list for the month.  I mean,
surely Ann knows the difference between a dinner and a diner and between
celibate and celebrate. The problem is that Ann knows what the words are
supposed to be, and so she probably skips right past them; and this is
just the sort of mistake that a spellcheck doesn't pick up.  The solution
is to have one intelligent person go through the story before it gets
posted.  Let this be a lesson to you.

Finally, a word of advice.  It's nice to shower together before anal
intercourse, but the shower removes the natural lubricants from both
bodies; and so the penis is likely to be even drier than usual.  The
problem of dry skin is compounded by the fact that a person's anal canal
does not produce natural lubrications for sexual intercourse, as the
vagina would.  Using Vaseline to solve this problem is not a great idea,
because that product tends to seal off the body's natural lubricants, when
they do begin to flow.  My own experience is that saliva is a better idea
than Vaseline at both the front and back door.  By far the best solution
is a lubricant specifically designed for this purpose, such as K-Y jelly. 
I guess this gives away part of the plot, doesn't it?

Ratings for "Home Again"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Stars in Our Eyes" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).  As you may recall,
last week Mark Aster's "Coffee?" was the 1000th story I reviewed.  His
prize was 31 days of sexual bliss with the partner(s) of his choice.  This
week he notified me that he will be "on hiatus," unable to post stories
for several weeks.  Coincidence?  I think not!

In this week's episode Our Hero and the lovely and delectable Julie are
reclining together at a mountain campsite, looking at the stars and
listening in the dark while Ariana and Rachel make love nearby.  Ariana is
describing her first sexual experience with a woman.  Rachel is working
her over even while she narrates this story, and as Ariana's story and
Rachel's ministrations continue, the present events begin to impinge upon
the narrative of the past.  Meanwhile, Our Hero and Julie are exchanging
quiet intimacies nearby.  It's a restful, passionate sequence of events.

Several weeks ago I suggested that a different author "go check out Mark
Aster's stories" to learn how to make better word choices.  That author's
problem, I thought, was that he/she used too many stereotypical
adjectives.  My suggestion was that Mark Aster consistently refrained from
using stereotypical adjectives and often employed well-chosen metaphors in
his stories.  Last week I reviewed a very good story by yet another author
(M. M. Twassel); and when I checked his Author Profile on Deja News, I
discovered that he had written a commentary on my advice regarding Mark
Aster.  This other author (who also admired Mark Aster's stories) had done
a thorough analysis of Aster's stories, and had discovered that Mark did
not use many adjectives at all.  Nor did he find an abundance of
metaphors.  Being busy, I set this information aside until I read this
week's story.  As I read this story, I looked for adjectives and
metaphors.  I was distracted by the fact that the story was extremely
erotic and that I myself have had some great experiences at campsites
under the stars; but I think I verified my opinion of this author's style
- even though I must also admit that my critic was correct.

The word "cock" does not appear in this story, and so we don't get to find
out whether it was hard, throbbing, or erstwhile.  (I just wanted to see
if that last word was in my spellcheck.)  The story was also free of
"pussy", "cunt", and "clit".  At this point I was beginning to wonder if
this was actually a sex story.

Here are some things the author does say: "I touched Julie's neck, and my
hand imagined the warm compact sweetness of her vulva." "Julie took my
hand in hers and rubbed it over the downy skin of her stomach as we lay
listening." "The warm womanness of her filled my palm, and she pressed
against my hand." "Julie opened her mouth and wriggled her hips as I slid
one finger into the moist heat of her vagina."  

One of the main points of my original comment was to discourage
unnecessary, stereotypical use of adjectives like "hot," "throbbing" and
"wet."  The few sentences I have cited here demonstrate that.  If he
doesn't need an adjective, this author doesn't use one.  In addition, he
selects words (adjectives or otherwise) that precisely say what he wants
them to say.

As for metaphors, here's a simple one: "Rachel's head was between Ariana's
legs, and her tongue made soft sounds as it moved in and out, and Rachel's
fingers danced a dance of love."  All I mean is that fingers don't really
dance, but the image of dancing fingers conjures up an almost poetic image
that gets the author's point across very nicely.

To be honest, when I recommended this author's prose to the other author,
what went through my mind was something like this: "Mark Aster's such a
damned good writer.  Surely he must use adjectives and metaphors
correctly.  I think I'll recommend him for this purpose."  As I have
examined this present story more carefully, I think I was on the right
track.  To state it more precisely, I think this author's main strength is
his intelligent choice of words and straightforward description of
situations and activities that beautifully convey the mood that he wants
to share with us.

Having tried to wiggle off that hook (note my metaphor), let me suggest
another author for aspiring writers to imitate: Mary Anne Mohanraj.  I
find her to be very similar to Aster with regard to choice of words and
almost poetic expression of ideas; but she's a lot more diverse in the
types of stories she's likely to write.

Ratings for "Stars in Our Eyes"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"First Hand Research" by RC (74734.271@CompuServe.COM).  Wonder no more! 
This is even better than knowing the secret handshake of the Grand Knights
of the Ozarks.  What do women have to do to join a really exclusive
sorority? Ans: They have to bring back a specimen jar filled with semen
and signed by the single donor responsible for its contents.

The narrator of this story is a mere freshman, sans boyfriend, and she has
only two days to fill the specimen jar. Not to worry; her roommate is a
psych major.  As we all know, psych majors are heavily into hypnosis.  {At
least most psych teachers are so boring that somebody seems to be into
hypnosis.}  

They solicit Jim, the cute guy down the hall, and hypnotize him. 
Incredibly enough, under hypnosis, when an attractive woman disrobes in
front of him, a bulge appears in his pants!  Imagine that.  Well, that's
not quite what happens; but it's close.  She gets her specimen and makes
it into the sorority a day early; but there are side effects.

Wouldn't it be neat to live in a world where anybody who could read could
go to the library and learn how to take complete control of other people's
minds?  I guess the main problem would be that the people who knew this
secret would have major incentives to keep children from learning how to
read.  Maybe society could be more successful at that goal than at its
current educational objectives.

Ratings for "First Hand Research"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Secretary Love" by Fin Haddie (sgoodman@primenet.com).  The guy shares an
office and secretary with his father.  The guy and secretary engage in
sexually suggestive banter, but nothing comes of it until he moves away
and returns for a subsequent visit.  The sexual activity is vividly
described and hot.  The most interesting part is that the author describes
the same relationship from the perspective of the guy (part 1) and the
woman (part 2).  I recommend reading both parts.

Ratings for "Secretary Love"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Pansy Pond" by Timothy Reisling Betticut.  "Only God made more women than
Tim Mitty."  But that was before Tim had been assigned to infiltrate Pansy
Pond. The department needed a secure undercover cop to find out what vile
sorts of perversion went on at this institution that apparently used
computer technology, powerful medications, and behavior modification
techniques to manipulate the sexuality of the "clients" who came there. He
was their man.  Or - to use verb tense more accurately - he had been their
main.  Now he has become their woman.

The premise is barely stated and then the reader is plunged immediately
into the workings of Pansy Pond, with Tim (whose female name is Teather)
being subjected to medication and shock treatment to turn him into a
fitting partner for Derk, who is his police department connection to the
outside world.  It's not initially clear why Tim is being trained as a
female, since the cover story is that he and Derk are a homosexual couple.
 Nor is it clear how Tim is supposed to cope with the managers of Pansy
Pond, who seem to know all of his thoughts and therefore should easily be
able to discover that he is a spy.  Apparently Tim dislikes the process,
but listening devices connected to his body make it necessary for him to
appear to like it.  Some of this is actually pretty complex, non-sexy
stuff; and a reader has to be pretty determined to stick with it. 
Nevertheless, the story holds a certain fascination.

There's a second story that runs concurrently with the first.  Pansy Pond
also does marriage counseling . Lance and Randi are bound not only be
wedding vows, but also by an iron clad agreement that demands they take
every effort to save their marriage should it fall on hard times; and
Lance has had many very hard times, during which his hardness has
penetrated at least five ladies that Randi (a world class model) knows
about.  Lance needs to make a final effort to learn to be a good boy, or
it's bye-bye to all Randi's money. The Pansy Pond plan is to temporarily
reverse his male and female hormonal balance while challenging him in a
heavily dependent girlish role.

I found two problems with this story.  First, the sentence structure was
often more complex than I could enjoy.  This was compounded by occasional
grammatical glitches - missing quotation marks, dangling modifiers, and
problems with verb tense. If the author is hitting me with unusual,
complex ideas, then I need simple, straightforward sentences that convey
these ideas to me.   The combination of complex ideas and complex
sentences occasionally pushed me to the point of losing interest.  Second,
as I suggested before, the story line itself is very complex.  Every once
in a while I would say to myself, "Oh! So that's why they did that!"  This
"aha!" experience can be very enjoyable; but sometimes I found myself
wishing I had know the information a lot earlier.

Part of my second problem is that I personally do not automatically buy
into the notion that people are likely to become delightfully happy and
effective sex partners through the processes of torture and humiliation. 
A person who already buys into this rationale might enjoy this story more
than I did - largely because that reader would not have to simultaneously
deal with (1) complex sentence structures, (2) a complex plot structure,
and (3) a rationale that did not make intuitive sense.  I CAN be induced
to enjoy stories in which humiliation and enforced feminization play
important roles; but only if the story does something to enable those
activities to make sense in a particular context.  The stories of Estragon
and Vickie Tern offer good examples of presenting similar activities in a
context that is likely to appeal to both insiders and outsiders.

In spite of what I have said in the preceding paragraphs, I think this is
a pretty good story.  I personally did not find the sexual scenes to be
extremely sensuous - there was too much attention to fetishes and bdsm
techniques that I simply don't understand or care about; but the story was
creative.  I was left with the overall impression that "this whole thing
is so crazy, it just might work!"

Ratings for "Pansy Pond"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Rene and Georgette" by Margaret Grace (mgrace@88net.net).  The man and
woman have returned from dinner and theater to their plush hotel room. 
Ages are not given; but they have been together long enough to have become
bored with their regular sex routine.  Not much of a clue about age, is
it?  She's expecting another night of mundane, emotionless sex; but she
instead finds an incredible tenderness on his part and a deliberate
attention to her needs.  The lovemaking becomes extremely romantic.

This story's sexual activities in themselves are by no means
uninteresting; but they are considerably enhanced by the sensitive context
in which this author inserts them.

Ratings for "Rene and Georgette"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10