Path: newsfeed.direct.ca!nntp.teleport.com!psgrain!news.sprintlink.net!news-stk-11.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!news-stk-3.sprintlink.net!news.cdsnet.net!news.sprintlink.net!news-ana-24.sprintlink.net!ralph.vnet.net!ASARian.org!castle.nando.net!imci4!newsfeed.internetmci.com!newsxfer2.itd.umich.edu!portc01.blue.aol.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories Subject: Celestial Reviews 112 - Aug 28 (1/2) Date: 28 Aug 1996 12:30:59 -0400 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 401 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <501s83$a7l@newsbf02.news.aol.com> Reply-To: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com Status: N Celestial Reviews 112 - Aug 28, 1996 (1/2) Note: Remember the proofreading service! If you would like free help on a story, send me a request; and I'll match you up with one of the volunteers who have offered to help authors by offering suggestions about the grammar, style, and content of preliminary drafts of stories. This service is often very useful to authors and enjoyable to proofreaders. In addition, if you would like to volunteer your services as a proofreader, please contact me. - Celeste "Letter Found Near a Suicide" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (unanswered love) 10, 10, 10 "More Congenial Spot" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (emerging sexuality) 10, 10, 10 "Slinky Red Thing" by Mark Aster (quickie) 10, 9, 9 "Blossom: First Date" by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody) 10, 9, 8 "A Rude Awakening" by Michael Dagley (reformed virgin on a binge) 10, 10, 10 "TV's best - Cybil" by Erin8667 (sitcom parody) 8, 7, 7 "Cookies and Cream" by Bastinado (lactation & anal sex) 10, 8, 10 "The Good Deed" by Frank McCoy (incest) 10, 8, 6 "Step by Step: Cody's Revenge" by Omegaman (sitcom parody) 8, 7, 5 "Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil (ff romance) 10, 10, 10 "Forthright" by Uther Pendragon (playful sex) 10, 8, 10 *"Foreplay" by Uther Pendragon (romance) 10, 10, 10 "Caught in the Act" by Holly (wife becomes slut) 7, 7, 5 "Waiting Room" by RC (mind control) 10, 8, 5 "Buttfun" by Unknown Author (anal sex) 9, 6, 6 * = Repost of a revision of a previous review (because the story was revised and reposted). "Letter Found Near a Suicide" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu). This is not a happy story. As the title suggests, the story consists of a letter written by a high school student who has committed suicide. It expresses the dead student's love for a girl who was fast and loose with her affection with regard to everyone except the writer of the letter. This is a short, poignant, worthwhile story. As is the case with many stories by this author, I don't think it is necessary to hide this one away in obscurity on the alt.sex.stories newsgroup. Ratings for "Letter Found Near a Suicide" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "More Congenial Spot" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu). I have an agreement with this author to review one of her stories every week, and I post the review around the time she reposts the story. Since the story for this week was excellent but depressing, I decided to push my luck and try a second story, so that I can go to sleep happy. We'll see. If this doesn't work I have already downloaded Shelby Bush's "Munsters" parody. OK. Nunc dimittis. I can go to sleep now. This one is about twins who were named by an either malevolent or thoughtless mother Guinevere and Arthur. By the time they finish college Gwen's reputation has reached mythic proportions as a psych student at the University of Chicago - she is said to have fucked a whole fraternity in one night and has lived to talk about it. Meanwhile, Art has excelled in drama, while remaining a virgin at nearby Northwestern University. While waiting for their mother to arrive to celebrate their graduation, they find a congenial spot where Gwen can expand Art's horizons. "The Munsters" can wait till next issue. Ratings for "More Congenial Spot" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Slinky Red Thing" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). This week's episode in the Allen Sisters saga is a flashback that departs from tradition. The action takes place back when Pat and Our Hero have just met; and there is only one couple copulating at a time. They are drinking and holding hands in the bar and sneak outside for a quickie in the ally. That's about all there is to it; but the ambiance makes it quite interesting. Ratings for "Slinky Red Thing" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Blossom: First Date" by Uncle Mike (fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu). Nick is having trouble getting a date. He needs something to do on Saturday night, and his sons have made excuses; his wonderful, kind-hearted daughter agrees to go to dinner with him. He is worried about Blossom. He has done the best he could raising her on his own these last few years since the divorce, but secretly he fears he hasn't done enough. Is she ready for adulthood -- and adult relationships? One son is a recovering addict, another -- not to put it too bluntly -- dumb as a rock. Blossom is his last hope. Well, she kisses well, and gives good head; and her cherry pops pretty easily. In fact, she's pretty good in the sack. I am not a "Blossom" aficionado, and so it was hard for me to grasp the satire. The characters came across as horny, insipid fools; but I suspect that the author was poking fun at the show. Maybe you Blossomites out there will enjoy this one more than I did. Ratings for "Blossom" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 "A Rude Awakening" by Michael Dagley (dagley@soho.ios.com). I really hate this story! I sat down about 45 minutes ago to read a story while I ate lunch. I had with me two ham sandwiches, a can of Diet Coke, and an 18-ounce bag of potato chips. I would read "A Rude Awakening" for ten minutes while I ate lunch and then prepare my classes for the first week of the new school year. I am now one chapter - 10,770 words and approximately 12 ounces of potato chips - into this story; and I can't stop. My husband is not home; the kid across the street is mowing the lawn, sweating, his muscles glistening in the sunlight; Kathy Ireland is looking down at me from my husband's calendar with a cum-hither look that would give me blue balls if I had balls; and I have my classes to prepare for a new semester. What's a girl to do? I guess maybe I'll just read another chapter and see if this feeling goes away. Well, I read TWO more chapters, at which time there was a lull in the action. Then I fixed dinner and read four more chapters. Then I had to wait for the author to post the rest of the story. Frustration Station! This story contains an amazing blend of voyeurism and direct sexual contact. For example, at one point Joey is getting head from Mrs. C, who is insisting that he describe to her what he did with her daughter earlier that evening, while Joey is making direct eye contact with the daughter, who is safely hidden and masturbating behind the mother's back. This is hot stuff. I noticed the title words, "Rude Awakening," several times in the story. The first context stated that at the time of the story, (June of 1965) graduation from high school would be a rude awakening: war, racial strife, assassinations, drugs, and other problems. Like many good titles, however, this one has more than one meaning. The second time the phrase occurred was after Joey and Terri had made love; it was a rude awakening for Terri to discover the power of her sexuality. The term pops up several other times in the story. The most significant meaning of "rude awakening" is not specifically stated - just strongly implied. The story begins with Joey an immature, sad, sexually-repressed young man. He takes no chances with girls and women, because he is afraid they will consider him to be rude. His friend and lover Alice tells him he needs to risk being rude once in a while. When the rudeness in him "awakens," he becomes a more mature, happy, sexually responsive person. In fact, he becomes the neighborhood Lothario - a term which you can either look up in your Funk and Wagnalls or infer from the context of the story. And then he discovers that he has lost something special - another rude awakening. What do women really want? Polite men or rude men? The answer is that different women want different blends; and even the same woman may want a different emphasis at different times. Also it depends on what you mean by "rude": in this story rude means that a guy does something that a girl will like, in spite of the fact that a social custom or the girl's inhibitions might oppose his action. I myself have been known to use the phrase "Shut up and kiss me" - or an equivalent, more emphatic phrase, which would indicate a demand for less "politeness." A very important moral to this story is that it is often necessary to take some risks in order to be happy. A very wrong conclusion would be that the rudest asshole gets the girl - or the guy. This author's greatest strength, I think, lies in his sense of timing. For example, he has the ability to make me think I'm witnessing two people getting hotter and hotter until they can't stand it any more; and I can almost feel it when they explode. He seems to have an intuitive grasp of what to tell me and when to tell it to me in order to maintain my interest. My husband has a similar ability, but he accomplishes this effect through direct access to my body parts. The main "weakness" to this story is that at times the author seems to want to cram too much sex into it. I have a theory about why the author has done this. I suspect that he has contacted a publisher (whom I know and respect, but will not name in this review) about publishing a version of this story as a novel; and that the publisher insisted on more instances of explicit sex. In fact, the publisher I am thinking of makes specific demands, such as (1) a wide variety of sex that is likely to be perceived as kinky, and (2) at least two separate instances of specific sex per chapter. I know of at least one good author who has simply stopped writing erotic stories because he felt that these demands compromised his literary integrity. I may be off the track in suggesting that the present author has "padded" his story with extra sex in order to appeal to a publisher. I do know that there are several instances where the storyline seems to take an unnecessary turn that is unrelated to the overall plot. However, not too many readers are going to complain about "too much hot sex," and so I'll let these "digressions" slide. What I do know is that I review another story ("Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil) in this issue of CR that is every bit as good as this one: and that other story has about a snowball's chance in my pussy of ever getting published by that same publisher. It's "too long on story" and "too short on real sex." I think it's about time that that publisher (or some other publisher) made it clear that it IS OK to have hot sex in the context of a good story. The world is ready for good stories that contain hot sex - without quotas and restrictions on what kind and how much explicit sex needs to be included in each chapter. These stories don't need to appear on news stands in the supermarkets; but they should be available to mature adults who want more than a quick fix from their erotica. As I reread the preceding paragraph, I realize I have overstated my case; but I think I'll leave it. The present author HAS, in fact, done a commendable job of trying to deal with the full personality of the main character. This is an excellent story. In fact, if I would have found this story without knowing the author's name, I would have guessed that it was written by Delta, who made my Top 50 List of 1995 not once but four times. That's one of the strongest compliments I can give to a story. Ratings for "Rude Awakening" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "TV's best - Cybil" by Erin8667 (erin8667@aol.com). In a nutshell, Zoe is the trampy daughter of a 45-year-old slutty divorcee, whose best friend is the totally amoral Mary Ann. In this story Zoe watches her mother fuck a stranger in the living room, then joins Mary Ann in the shower before bringing her to the bedroom for mutual orgasms. The next day she exchanges oral pleasantries with her mother. The sex is pretty hot, and it's easy to picture Cybil and her superficial friends doing these things; but the story needs a little more development or better timing. It comes across as something written by a high school sophomore who is simply inserting sex into the basic Cybil plot. Ratings for "Cybil" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 7 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7 "Cookies and Cream" by Bastinado (an707058@anon.penet.fi). The woman has recently given birth and has been nursing her baby. Tonight her breasts are heavy because the baby had a cold and did not eat much. Milk oozes all over the place and lubricates the man's cock enough to permit smooth entry into her ass. The only problem with this story is that it's not a full story - it's more like one of those "experience letters" that we find in places like the forum sections of Playboy or Penthouse magazines. This is an excerpt from LaLune, an erotic E-Zine, whose website is at http://members.gnn.com/JCumbus/warn.htm. This was good stuff, and I intend to check the site to see what else is there. Ratings for "Cookies and Cream" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "The Good Deed" by Frank McCoy (mccoyf@millcomm.com). Sometimes, the author tells us, you can do something nice for people, with almost no effort on your part. For example, in this story the narrator passes the children's bedroom door and hears them talking while they masturbate each other. The son has shot his wad six times already, but his sister won't let him stick it inside. The father knocks on the door and tells them to go ahead - it would be fine if they get pregnant. Wow! Bangeroo Baby! Why can't all parents be that understanding? The narrator's only regret is that he couldn't his little boy squirting his seed in his own big sister's tight little slit for the first time. But he figures that maybe if he and his wife are a little more open themselves whenever THEY have sex, the kids will loosen up and let them watch. From now on, his bedroom door will remain open; and he and the little lady won't do it under the covers, either. Yes, it's amazing how much you can do for someone you love, with the right words at the right time. And by the way, do you know the scientific term is for the sweat that forms on the bodies of the people in this family when they have sex? Relative humidity. Ratings for "The Good Deed" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6 "Step by Step: Cody's Revenge" by Omegaman (greymann@netdoor.com). Twenty-four years of pent-up sexual frustration is about to be unleashed. Cody, the likable, slightly goofy, "surfer dude" of good moral character, is still a virgin and has even boasted of the fact on national TV; but he is about to go berserk. Uncle Frank has gone away with the boys, and Cody is armed with handcuffs, duct tape, several hundred dollars worth of bdsm paraphernalia, and a raging 9-inch hard-on. He's going to fuck the brains out of all the females in the house. Dude! Each girl has erotic value for Cody. Al is a 14-year-old virgin, just ripe for popping. Equally virgin Karen is a cock teaser with a smallish, cute mouth, tailor-made for cock-sucking. Carol is the older but still beautiful and sexy veteran of sexual relations. And Dana is the cock-tease who has often harassed Cody and who would be especially fun to subdue. Cody's vision is a little limited. In real-life there would be a reasonable chance that maybe one or two of the rape victims would, say, complain to someone in authority. But this is sitcomsville; and with any luck the ladies will enjoy being raped and ask to be left alone more often with Cody in the future. This story will appeal mostly to guys who live with the fantasy that the only thing a girl really wants is a good, hard cock up her cunt or any other orifice. Fuck 'em hard enough and they'll become your pets and beg for more! On the other hand, if you're looking for either a realistic story or a good parody, this one falls short. The similarities to the original TV show are superficial and the plot simplistic (which doesn't mean what the author thinks it means when he uses that word). It wasn't an awful story, but I had hoped for better. Ratings for "Step by Step" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 7 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5 "Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com). This author combines timing and tension to create a very good story. At the very start we know simply that Betty (Elizabeth) is upset because her father has thrown Stacy (Anastasia) out of the house and has threatened to kill her if he ever sees her around his daughter again. Then we flash back to a scene in a vice-principal's office, where Betty is describing her problems with a teacher who seems to be making passes at her. There must be some relation, the reader thinks, between what's happening in this flashback and the relationship between Betty and Stacy; but what is it? Is the vice-principal actually Stacy? The vice-principal has recommended a tutor; will that be Stacy? And then there is a sinister note; the vice-principal is apparently interested in exploiting a sexual opening with the teacher who had been harassing Betty. What are the implications of that tidbit for Betty? I can't help it; I root for characters when I read some of these stories. I already sympathize with Betty; and as a hard-working teacher myself, I wouldn't mind seeing the VP stick it to the teacher/pervert, but I hope that Betty and Stacy are people with a wholesome relationship rather than participants in some sort of demeaning ring of sex-slavery. As I finish writing the preceding paragraph, I am only about 2000 words into a 47,000-word story. I mention this because I think it is a sign of a good story to arouse the reader's interest as strongly as this story grabbed my attention. I'm reluctant to tell you too much of the story. I enjoyed finding out what would happen next, and I think you will too. The author uses an interesting strategy of alternating between the past and the present; that is, there is one continuous story starting in the present; and another continuous story - that gives meaning to the current-time story - starts in the past. In general, this is an ingenious and enthralling approach; but at times it becomes confusing. For example, when the girls are arguing in the past and making up in the present, the two plots may become entwined in the reader's mind. It must have been difficult for the author to coordinate these two plots; but he carries it off effectively - with the exception of one point in Chapter 4 where he seems to use in the past storyline information about Joyce that could be known only from the present plot. This is not a wham-bang sex story; it's a romantic story about a relationship that happens to involve intimate sex between two females. The early part of the story (probably the first two thirds - and that's a lot in a story of this size) does not contain any specific sexual activity at all; but sex is implied, and sexual tension pervades even this part. That makes it sexy to me. When explicit sex does occur, it is very hot. To be honest, I have to admit that this story brought tears to my eyes more often than it brought moisture to my lower regions; but they were often tears of joy that I associate with really happy times in the sack. I suppose that makes this pretty much a "chick story," but you studs out there oughta read it too. Maybe it'll put some hair on your chest. This story has some flaws; but it's still excellent. Look at it this way: on several occasions the author actually spelled "english" (as in English Teacher!) with a lower-case "e"; but I still gave the story straight 10's. I can't offer a much stronger recommendation than that! Ratings for "Elizabeth & Anastasia" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Forthright" by Uther Pendragon (playful sex). Maybe this has been obvious to the rest of you all along; but I just recently realized that all of these stories by this author that begin with "For..." are about a married couple named Bob and Jeanette Brennan. I have been evaluating them as isolated stories - which is OK, I suppose, since the author has been posting them as isolated stories. However, as I look back over them, it becomes obvious to me that the whole is better than the sum of the parts. That is, the stories are more enjoyable if you read them in the context of one another. In this one Bob and Jeanette are experimenting with new sexual positions. While doing so, they playfully review some of their former escapades. I love this kind of banter! I also love this kind of playfulness among old, married people. By the way, if you really want to do it standing up, try it against the refrigerator. But remove the magnets first, unless you want to be disturbed by falling notes or want to explain why the colors have run together in the kindergarten pictures drawn by your children. Ratings for "Forthright" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 (Continued in 2/2) Path: newsfeed.direct.ca!udel-eecis!netnews.com!news2.cais.net!news.cais.net!super.zippo.com!zdc-e!news-out.microserve.net!news-in.microserve.net!news.sgi.com!swrinde!howland.erols.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!newsxfer2.itd.umich.edu!portc01.blue.aol.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories Subject: Celestial Reviews 112 - Aug 28 (2/2) Date: 28 Aug 1996 12:35:46 -0400 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 147 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <501sh2$a9f@newsbf02.news.aol.com> Reply-To: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com Status: N Celestial Reviews 112 - Aug 28, 1996 (2/2) (Continued from 1/2) *"Foreplay" by Uther Pendragon (an569889@anon.penet.fi). Bob and Jeanette are newlyweds. They had refrained from sex with each other until after marriage. Bob is willing to remain committed to just this one wonderful woman for his whole life, but sex is very important to him; and he knows that Jeanette does not share his enthusiasm. Bob has suggested one night a week for experiments, or "games." Jeanette has agreed on the condition that she can choose half the games. Bob has agreed; and her first suggestion was the game called "missionary position." Hence Bob's concern about his sexual future. Therefore, for his own first game Bob sets out to make sex so wonderful for his wife that she will crave sex even more than he does. This story describes a night of lovemaking when he gives her the royal treatment. The sex is very tender and passionate, and the descriptions are vivid. The author shifts perspectives to convey the conflicting or complementary emotions of both people. This is a revision of an initial version of this story. I criticized the prose in the original story as too workmanlike. I said I would have liked to have seen some more metaphors or poetic insights. The revised version is a marvelous improvement; it exudes exuberance that simply was not present in the earlier version. I would like to think that my suggestions prompted this improvement; but more likely the author got lucky or got religion and the new worldview led to the improvements. This was a very good story, and I sincerely enjoyed the description of "conventional" sex from a highly romantic perspective. A lot of readers will recognize themselves in this story (if they are lucky), and a lot of others will wish they had had a sexual tutor similar to this husband. Ratings for "Foreplay" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Caught in the Act" by Holly (kansica@aol.com). When Jerry and Holly first married over ten years ago, she was sexually very reserved and conservative. Now she proclaims herself to be "nothing more than a common whore." This story is an introduction to a series on how she progressed to that elite status. It seems that Holly spent the first five or so years of her marriage barefoot and pregnant. After the fourth child, she told Jerry to get a vasectomy; but by that time she had begun to let her body go. One day she comes upon Jerry fucking their sweet, young next-door neighbor in their bedroom. She sets aside the baseball bat she happens to be carrying, and joins in the sex. Afterwards, Jerry explains that he had planned the entire event and was hoping that it would work. He thought they were headed for a divorce anyway so he might as well take the chance. Right. Unless you're predisposed to like wife-slut stories, you probably won't be impressed with this one. On the other hand, a surprisingly large number of readers like to indulge in the wife-slut fantasy; and I suppose this is a moderately good story of that genre. Ratings for "Caught in the Act" Athena (technical quality): 7 Venus (plot & character): 7 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5 "Waiting Room" by RC (74734.271@CompuServe.COM). The woman is in the waiting room, awaiting her appointment with the doctor. The receptionist plays background music that must have a subliminal message. When she meets the doctor, the woman is ready for sex. There's really not much to this story. I've read the research literature, and subliminal advertising simply does not work; and so an author would have to do something creative to make me like a story based on that topic. In addition, even if a reader buys into the basic premise, nothing much really happens in this story. I have read a lot more creative stories by this author. Ratings for "Waiting Room" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5 "Buttfun" by Unknown Author. This EBS repost reads a lot like one of those "true" testimonials you find in the letters or forum section of magazines like Playboy or Penthouse. It's a matter-of-fact account of how a high school senior met an older woman and learned to give and take it up the ass with her. Ratings for "Buttfun" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 6 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6 >>>>> Medical Breakthrough In Weight Loss <<<<< by Unnamed Author. Either someone is sending me electronic junk mail or this person has achieved a real insight into an important problem that I need to share with you. The author refers to a "Nutraceutical medical supplement (a natural alternative to pharmaceuticals and significantly more effective than simple nutritional supplements) that effectively and safely addresses body metabolism and REPAIRS and HEALS the function of adrenal glands, thyroid and the hypothalamus. Lose weight, Increase energy, burn fat, curb appetite with no requirement for change in diet and no nervousness or jitters." This "Nutraceutical medical supplement," of course, must be what we more commonly refer to as sexual intercourse. The author possibly uses the more complex, illusive terminology because his article may be distributed to children; and even in sex-education classes it is important that children not know when someone is talking about . The author is right on target. I can testify that by fucking between three and seven times a week, I have been able to "lose weight, increase energy, burn fat, curb appetite with no requirement for change in diet and no nervousness or jitters." I urge plentiful foreplay and double bangs (technically referred to as "Pre-nutraceutical medical supplement" and "Reiterated nutraceutical medical supplement," respectively"). To obtain maximum benefits, you should personalize and internalize the treatment, which means you should engage with a loving partner rather than merely reading the stories on this newsgroup, even if you masturbate while reading. (No one has suggested that the Nutraceutical medical supplement leads to blindness, no matter how often it is done.) On the other hand, these stories DO supply excellent nutraceutical medical advice. Incidentally, I once heard an expert - it may have been Dr. Ruth - say that "swallowing the male ejaculate" is not likely to lead to weight gain. Of course, Dr. Ruth wasn't talking about the massive quantities of ejaculate that we see in a.s.s.; but that information will probably suffice for most weight watchers reading this issue of Celestial Reviews. As I have said in the past, my own direct experience is limited to Monogamous Heterosexual Nutraceutical Medical Supplements. If you need more extensive treatment, you might want to explore the stories in the "Trinity Trilogy," where the characters - I mean practitioners - typically supplement as often in one night as I do in a full week. However, I should warn you that some of the less orthodox treatments my have unpleasant side effects. For example, Deirdre's Nutraceutical Medical Supplements may be surprisingly addictive. In addition, the Nutraceutical Medical Supplements that involve cheating on a spouse, pedophilia, incest, coercive sex, or public exhibitionism are not necessarily likely to be free of "nervousness or jitters." Bestiality may have even more undesirable side effects, depending on the nature and size of the beast. In addition, the surgeon general's warnings about nutraceutically transmitted diseases should be taken into consideration. Always practice Safe Nutraceutical Medical Supplementation.