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From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories
Subject: Celestial Reviews 105 - Aug 3
Date: 2 Aug 1996 13:21:46 -0400
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Celestial Reviews 105 - August 3, 1996

Note: I have had remarkable success finding these stories through Deja
News, a search engine available on the World Wide Web.  I imagine someday
they are going to charge for this service, but right now it's possible
(without additional cost beyond your service that accesses the Web) to
find most of the stories below by entering a few key words into the search
box.  For example, I think you can find the first story by entering "Dyad
Michael Smith."  You'll get a short list of "hits," one of which will
include the story - assuming that it gets reposted on schedule and has the
title and author's name in the posting (which will almost certainly be the
case).

- Celeste

      "Dyad" by Michael K. Smith (emerging adolescence) 
            10, 10, 10
      "Love Boat: Cum Aboard" by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody)
            10, 9.5, 9
      "Double Bang" by Dafney Dewitt (sexual hubris) 10, 9.5, 9.5
      "Georgia" by Wolfgang Amadeus (idyllic outdoor sex)
            7, 8, 9
      "Foreplay" by Uther Pendragon (romance) 9.5, 9.5, 9.5
      "Secrets" by Charisse Van der Lyn (control) 10, 9, 9
      "A Romantic Interlude" by Mr. Weather (something
            completely different) 8, 5, 6
      "Trinity Trilogy Novel 4/14" by Tom Trinity 
            (miscellaneous orgies) 10, 9.5, 10
      "Carrie" by The Strict Professor (spanking) 7, 5, 5

"Dyad" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com) Holy shit!  Right here
on a.s.s. I found almost the exact words I had spoken barely a month ago
to one of my daughters: "Well, I know this isn't what you want to hear,
but hardly anyone these days actually marries the person they fall in love
with when they're fifteen."  Only I said "she's" instead of "they're,"
which is grammatically correct, and "sixteen" instead of "fifteen," which
was chronologically correct.  Either my husband wrote this story or my
daughter did so, or my aphorism is actually common knowledge.  I'll assume
for now that the latter is the case.  

Since the author had my interest and my empathy, I became concerned when I
read, "I knew I could trust him. I always could. I used to wish I was his
age, that we had met in college or something. I would have married him in
a minute! Actually, I sometimes still wish that."  My reaction was,
please, please don't go simple-minded and have the father fuck the little
girl to "help her regain her self confidence."

I breathed a sigh of relief as I read Dad's advice: "I just wanted to
suggest that you don't have to be in a hurry to find a replacement for
Joshua. You might want to just do things with your buddies for awhile or
by yourself. Go out on some ordinary, friendly-type dates with no strings
attached. I suspect you'll get interested in another special boy when
you're ready for it." OK! <high fives> A sensible father!  

A little later the girl comes home from a date with a new guy - a date
with petting but without sex; and she unobservedly catches her mother and
father making love.  This makes her horny, but she doesn't jump into bed
with them. OK! <more high fives>  Normal people!

The story moved on to a father-daughter dinner at a restaurant, where she
talks to him about sex and love, and he responds sensitively.  On the way
home she realizes she has made a decision to rid herself of her virginal
status before morning and she is going to do it with the one male in the
world whom she trusts absolutely - her father.  I paused.  Actually, this
was a realistic emotion.  Lots of girls have similar feelings, and not
many of them are followed by "family fun."  I hoped the author wouldn't
take the simplistic route and have the old man help his little girl "grow
up" and live happily ever after by jumping into with her.

Several paragraphs later, after she had first finished her homework, the
daughter put on her sexiest nightie and went downstairs to seduce Daddy
while they watched TV together.  While the fantasy in the preceding
paragraph is extremely prevalent in families with non-asshole fathers, the
actual attempt at seduction is NOT all that common.  I wasn't sure what
was going to happen, but I paused to wonder what my husband would do if
our daughter made a move on him.  The kid was basically saying, "You're a
wonderful man, and I love you and want to share my first sexual experience
with you."  I would not expect my husband to call his daughter a dirty
pervert, but I would also expect him to do something other than fuck her. 
I think he would probably get a hard-on, but then he would gently but
firmly push her away, thank her for the wonderful compliment, and then
have a heart-to-heart talk with her.  The talk would be designed to
convince her that she is a good and wonderful person who has a lot to
offer to someone in her life but that HE would not be that someone, even
though he loved her and found her to be extremely attractive, because he
already had an exclusive sexual relationship with someone else (c'est moi)
and because the father-daughter relationship is based on a different type
of love.  I would hope that he would be very sensitive about how he
expressed himself and that he would make sure he didn't give her a feeling
of being rejected.  I would also hope that he would discuss the matter
with me later and that he would sublimate his sexual passion by fucking my
brains out.

Actually, I recall a song by Fred Rogers (of "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood"),
which is directed to a little boy who has told his mother that he's going
to marry her when he grows up.  {Even in "normal" families, little boys
are likely to say this.  They do so because they really like their mothers
and/or because they want to grow up to be like their fathers.}  Mr. Rogers
responds in his eloquent song with neat lines like "I'm already married,
already married; married to your Dad" and assures the child that someday
he may marry someone like her.  This kiddie song essentially says the same
thing that I said in the previous paragraph.  You don't think.... No! 
Fred Rogers simply cannot be posting stories under a false name on this
newsgroup.  By the way, I think the song is on the same casette as "You
Can Never Go Down the Drain."  I miss Mr. Rogers and the Gang from Sesame
Street!

Back to the story.  I'm not going to tell you what the father and daughter
do in the story.  The possibilities range from doing it my way to joining
the Incest Club to something in between.  You'll have to read the story to
see what the author decided.  Of course, you could try to guess the ending
from my ratings; but hey, I'm broadminded enough to give a high rating to
a good story that doesn't do things my way.

Ratings for "Dyad"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Love Boat: Cum Aboard" by Uncle Mike (fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu). I'm
not a big "Love Boat" fan.  I've watched a few episodes when I was
visiting other people, and I can recognize most of the characters; but I
don't know much about their personalities.  And so I might have missed
some of the subtleties in this parody.

Vickie (the Captain's daughter) has crawled under the bar to do some
cleaning, and she overhears some valley girls making fun of her lack of
sexual experience.  That does it!  She decides to lose her virginity as
soon as possible.  She talks to Isaac, the kindly black bartender who
usually falls in love with a different black chick each voyage, and he
very kindly pops her cherry and lets her suck his cock.  Wisely, Vickie
goes to Doc (the blundering guy in the white suit who falls in love with a
different white chick every voyage) to get herself on the pill; and he
suggests that maybe she should talk to her father first, before she
becomes sexually active.  By this time I was into the mood of the story. 
I muttered, "Shut up, Doc.  This is a sex parody of an insipid show.  Give
her the Pill and then fuck her.  If she talks about it with her father,
he'll just screw her anyway!"  And so he did; and so he did; and so he
did; and so did several other people."

Ratings for "Love Boat: Cum Aboard"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Double Bang" by Dafney Dewitt (dafneyd@ix.netcom.com). Norman prides
himself on his double bangs.  He has double fucked his wife regularly and
successfully for the past 5 years.  After giving his wife a complete
fucking, a real one hour knock-her-socks-off pummeling, he can recover in
less then five minutes for a second round of sex that is just as intense
as the first.  He has even timed himself.  Not only that, but he always
does it with her body on her side of the bed, so that he never ends up
sleeping in the wet spot.  He's a regular sex machine.

But things go wrong.  One night his wife says she'd just as soon go to
sleep as have the second bang.  Crestfallen <heh, heh!>, the next day he
follows her; and she goes to Big Bill and Julie's house.  Norman listens
and hears his wife having a good time in his friend's bedroom. Enraged
that his wife would prefer this fat slob, he confronts Bob later that week
and shoots him twice in the stomach.  As he is being led away to prison,
his wife tells him that his "last double bang was perfect."  The man has
been had.  Can you see how?  Sic transit gloria mundi.

The story is clearly written, brief, and to the point - almost like a
concise morality play.  It's a good story.

Ratings for "Double Bang"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

"Georgia" by Wolfgang Amadeus (an648468@anon.penet.fi).  The guy is riding
his motorcycle in southern Georgia, when he comes upon a damsel in
distress.  They ride toward the next town in the warm rain; and when the
weather breaks they stop to clean up.  They swim in a river and make love
there and again in town, where they spend the night together.  The text
could use some proofreading; but this is a nice, simple story of idyllic
lovemaking.

Ratings for "Georgia"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Foreplay" by Uther Pendragon (an569889@anon.penet.fi).  Bob and Jeanette
are newlyweds.  They had refrained from sex with each other until after
marriage.  Bob is willing to remain committed to just this one wonderful
woman for his whole life, but sex is very important to him; and he knows
that Jeanette does not share his enthusiasm. Bob has suggested one night a
week for experiments, or "games."  Jeanette has agreed on the condition
that she can choose half the games.  Bob has agreed; and her first
suggestion was the game called "missionary position." Hence Bob's concern
about his sexual future.

So for his own first game Bob sets out to make sex so wonderful for his
wife that she will crave sex even more than he does.  This story describes
a night of lovemaking when he gives her the royal treatment.  The sex is
very tender and passionate, and the descriptions are clear. The author
tries to shift perspectives and to convey the conflicting or complementary
emotions of both people.  I think he could have done a better job, but I
appreciated the effort.  The main problem with the story (and it is not a
big one) is that the prose is too workmanlike.  I would like to have seen
some more metaphors or poetic insights - the sort of thing I often see in
the Allen Sisters or the Trinity Trilogy stories.  This was a very good
story, and I sincerely enjoyed the attempt to describe "conventional" sex
from a highly romantic perspective.  A lot of men and women will recognize
themselves in this story (if they are lucky), and a lot of others will
wish they had had a sexual tutor similar to this husband.

Ratings for "Foreplay"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

"Secrets" by Charisse Van der Lyn (71022.251@compuserve.com).  This is
another excerpt from Spectrum Press (http://users.aol.com/specpress).  I
suspect that this story is taken from somewhere other than the beginning
of the novel, and so it's somewhat difficult to evaluate it in context.

Eve seems to be a woman who works as a "model" in some kind of
establishment where men come in to look at women and to jerk off while
doing so.  Nigel has been a client, and he offers Eve a large "tip" to
encourage her to accept his offer of a limousine ride to his expensive
house for an evening.  Eve fantasizes about the evening and then goes to
the house.  The chapter ends with Nigel obviously beginning to exercise
control over her future sexual activities, which will probably be heavy on
the bdsm.

Ratings for "Secrets"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"A Romantic Interlude" by Mr. Weather (rkb6116@zeus.tamu.edu).  This EBS
repost is a monster cock story. Literally.  Bob's Jolly Green Giant is a
full 8.25 feet long, and a healthy 3 feet around -  flaccid.  I haven't
worked in a sex lab, but I assume these dimensions would approximately
double during full engorgement prior to enfuckment.  These dimensions may
seem grotesque, but it's important to consider two factors:  (1)  The
author's tagline describes him as an Aggie.  This means he's from Texas. 
Cocks of this size or no more rare than cows that fly or bulls that are
fourteen feet tall or small bands of Texicans who fought off millions of
Mexicans at the Alamo.  In addition, I know some major assholes who are
Aggies, and so a huge cock is not entirely out of the question.  (2)  Most
of the authors on a.s.s. exaggerate (i.e., lie) anyway.  For example, just
last week I read a story in which the guy had a 14-incher that he used on
an ordinary woman, who managed to get it entirely into her mouth during
the oral prelude and eventually into both her cunt and her ass.  What I am
saying is that once you get beyond my husband's simple 9-incher, you're
dealing with fantasy anyway - and the difference between 14 inches and
8.25 or 16.50 feet is only a matter of degree.

The only problem with this story is that not much happens in it - except
that Bob attempts intercourse with Tiffany, who (fortunately) has a cunt
that's 10 feet deep.  The story involves pneumatic tools and could have
benefited from a small boat near the ending.

Ratings for "A Romantic Interlude"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6

"Trinity Trilogy Novel 4/14" by Tom Trinity (stbush@iglou.com).  I have to
admit that I have trouble deciding what to put into the parentheses in my
table of contents to describe each week's Trinity Trilogy segment.  This
week Shelby labeled the segment (mf,mff,ff,mfff,fff,etc).  I chose
(miscellaneous orgies).  Actually, what we have here is a trio of friends
on a helluva binge.

In the second story of this week's installment, Candy goes for her first
plane ride and immediately joins the mile-high club. I'll believe almost
anything; but I have my doubts about the joys of having sex in an airliner
restroom.  I know people do it, but it just doesn't sound like fun.  I
have given and received orgasms on moving airplanes; but never in a
restroom.  My advice is to use blankets to cover yourself and wait for
other people around you to go to sleep.  Use your hands under the
blankets; that's what they're for.  {Figure out that grammar!}

In another chapter we have the reappearance of Val and Veronica, the
mother/daughter team that fucked Tom's brains out at a previous sci-fi
convention.  It's deja vu all over again!

So let me summarize.  This story starts with Tom finishing up with Janie
from last week's segment.  On the plane to Phoenix he fucks Judy and Candy
in the john.  In Phoenix he goes looking for Veronica and finds her mother
(Val) instead and fucks her until Veronica returns, and then he fucks them
both until he leaves with Veronica and goes to Janie's hotel room where he
fucks them both and then leaves them together and returns to Val, who
fucks him repeatedly for the rest of the night.  The next morning he
leaves Val and is picked up by a total stranger (Alicia) with whom he has
very pleasant sex, and then he discovers that Alicia has been sent to him
by Janie and Veronica, and so he fucks all three of them in gratitude. 
Then - and this is the good part - then the NEXT chapter is entitled "The
Orgy"!  When I went to bed after reading this segment, my husband kissed
me tenderly; and I said to him, "Let me give you a raincheck.  I'm
exhausted."  In other words, both (mf,mff,ff,mfff,fff,etc) and
(miscellaneous orgies) were accurate descriptions of this segment.  I
guess you could get a bit jaded on too much good sex; but I found this
segment tolerable - to put it mildly.

Ratings for "Trinity Trilogy Novel 4/14"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Carrie" by The Strict Professor.  Early in this repost from the THC
archives we learn that Carrie has not yet succeeded in "exercising" the
imp that had gotten her into so much hot water throughout her life.  Well,
actually she has been "exercising" her imp, and that's why she is in
trouble now.  The author meant to say "exorcising," which has an entirely
different meaning.

This brief story is about a high school girl who has gotten into trouble
by putting an ice cube down a friend's blouse during Mr. Burns's class. 
She gets paddled in front of the classroom.  There's not much sex here -
unless you get excited by the very thought of an 18-year-old girl standing
bent over at the desk with tears in her eyes in front of all her
classmates while her panties ride up her ass and the teacher pounds her
buttocks with a wooden board.  What I myself enjoyed most about this story
was the fact that it brought to life that lesson my mother tried to teach
me so long ago: always wear clean underwear, in case you are in an
accident or get a paddling and want to impress the teacher.

Ratings for "Carrie"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5