From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d Subject: Celestial Reviews 77 - April 20 Date: 20 Apr 1996 18:54:48 -0400 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 356 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <4lbpvo$5c7@newsbf02.news.aol.com> Reply-To: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com Celestial Reviews 77 - April 20, 1996 Note: I am now using a rating system which gives each story three discrete ratings. These are explained in more detail in my FAQ, but here is a summary. Athena Rating. This rating covers such matters as grammar, spelling, formatting, and creative use of the language. A story with essentially no serious grammar, spelling, or usage problems will receive a rating of 8. To get a rating of 9 or 10, the author will have to do something creative with the language. Venus Rating. This rating describes such matters as plot and character development. Celeste Rating. This rating describes how much I myself liked the story. Second Note: I am reviewing some excellent stories this week. I hope you enjoy the comparisons I try to make among them. - Celeste "Old Friends" by D.A. Ignatius (romance & adventure) 9, 10, 10 "Lisa" by Dirty Dawg (romance) 9.5, 10, 10 "Terri's Dilemma" by The Observer (romance) 9.5, 10, 10 "Puppy Love" by M.M. Twassel (teenage voyeurism) 9.5, 7, 7 "Nice Story" by Cathy E No (mindless sex) 1, 1, 1 "Wild Nuns" by Unknown Author (sex with a nun) 8, 8, 8 "Dear Gus" by Mark Aster (rough sex) 10, 8, 8 "Scarlett's Cove" by Ann Douglas (hot lesbian romance) 10, 10, 10 "Old Friends" by D.A. Ignatius (jash@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu). This is the longest and most complex story I have yet read in the DarkNites series. I see similarities between this story and the typical Dirty Dawg story. Since I am going to review the Dawg's "Lisa" next, I'll compare the two. Both stories center around a friendship or love relationship that has been incomplete or has gone bad in the past; and now the former lovers are thrown back together with a chance to set things right. A major difference is that Dirty Dawg views life more simply; when people screw up a relationship, they should simply realize what they were missing and be nice to each other - very nice to each other. The present story, on the other hand focuses on the struggles for power that are so often present to screw up relationships - and to make them really interesting. The story is full of ebb and flow - ying and yang - that shifts in rhythm with the events of the story or when the author creatively changes perspective. Taken in isolation, the present story has hotter sex. By that I mean that if you want to get your lover going, you could probably find a couple of paragraphs that you could read out loud until he/she would interrupt you by jumping your bones. But taken in its context, the Dawg's sex is pretty hot too. That is, you may not be able to find a short passage in "Lisa" that is equally amenable to bone jumping; but when I read the whole story I came away with a warm, wet, and wonderful feeling that helped make me and my husband about as happy as the quicker fix supplied by the present story. I don't want to overemphasize the importance of the power struggles in "Old Friends." There's much more to this story than power struggles. There's the focus on the difference between young love and mature love. There's the man's sudden realization of his own beauty when his beautiful lover finds him to be desirable. And there's much more. This story could have benefited from a final proofreading. The omitted apostrophes and missing articles are a minor annoyance - even grammar goddesses make petty mistakes. In one case, however, I was seriously confused by the verb tense. The author shifted into a flashback without making it clear to me that she had done so. Only after I had read several paragraphs did I say to myself, "Wait a minute! This has been a description of something that happened ten years earlier!" When I checked back, I discovered that the author was right: if I would have read more carefully, I would have caught the flashback. But this isn't a reading test to separate the Honors Students from the less inspired pupils; and so I think a simple shift in verb tense - in this case saying "She HAD BEEN wearing a maroon sundress...." instead of "She was wearing...." - would have made the timing crystal clear. There was no need for this confusion; this author is a brilliant writer. Had she simply made one more careful swing through this story, she would probably have noticed mistakes like these herself. Even better, she should capture an intelligent potential sex partner and make him proofread the story before she agrees to do to him some of the interesting things that transpire in this story. Ratings for "Old Friends" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Lisa" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). Jeff has finally come to the realization that he is in love with his best friend. The only problem: she is getting married to somebody else. He has missed his chance: he now realizes Lisa would have been interested in him, but he has acted uninterested too long. and she has fallen in love with someone who loves returns her love. What's a guy to do? Well, I guess he could drive the two hours to her house, show up unannounced, send the fiance away, profess his honest feelings to his true love, and then fuck her brains out. This plan is so crazy, it might just work! The last story I reviewed by this author was "Marjorie," which included lots of action - including a sequence where the hero blew the brains out of the villain who was attacking the heroine. The present story, on the other hand, contains a lot of brooding introspection that could become boring; but it doesn't. There were a few screwed up verb tenses that annoyed me, but I remained interested to the very end. As I said in my last review, this author is long on relationships and romance. The sexual sequences cover only about a third as much space as those in the previous story, but the context makes these few words very, very hot. As a final point in comparing the two stories, I might add that I have to give the author of "Old Friends" credit for taking more chances with the story line. Dirty Dawg uses his same old formula - a formula which he uses very well. Now for something completely different, we'll look at another story - "Terri's Dilemma" - that in many ways represents a combination of the styles of these first two authors. Ratings for "Lisa" Athena (technical quality): 9.5 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Terri's Dilemma" by The Observer (lsummers@onramp.onramp.net). The narrator has been keeping company with Terri as a sort of favor to the family. Her boyfriend is in the army, and somebody has to hang out with her. The story opens with Terri giving the narrator a ferocious slap for no good reason. He responds with a grim determination to take the bitch home and dump her for good. However, as every British schoolgirl knows, when a girl slaps a guy for no discernible reason, it's because she loves him. And if the recipient of the aggression would simply get a grip on himself, he would realize that the emotions are reciprocal. I'm not going to retell the story; the fun is in finding out what's going to happen. I'll only say that in many ways this story is a fusion of the previous two stories in this review. Like "Old Friends" this story is built around power struggles; and like "Lisa" it describes the fruition of a relationship that began badly. Oh - I almost forgot. The sex scenes are some of the hottest ever; and their heat is intensified by the chemistry of the context. One thing I had trouble with was the anal sex scene. I have come to the conclusion that anal sex is uniquely personal. This story and several others describe it as painful. I have emgaged in anal sex with a loving partner, and I have experienced no pain. The guy in this story seems to want to dominate his lover and she wants to be dominated. Domination is not a conscious part of my anal sex. I like anal sex because it's a violation of a taboo that's just waiting to be broken; it's a way to be nasty without really being nasty at all. I think the secret lies in having a gentle lover who has rimmed the asshole tenderly and has finger fucked it on previous occasions and who uses plenty of lubrication when he finally rams his dick home. Remember, the ass doesn't naturally lubricate, and it may be useful to withdraw and add some extra KY before finishing the job. I guess the other part of the secret is to relax and enjoy it; if you're tense, I guess it might hurt like hell. I have learned to relax and enjoy it so much that once when I had to have a barium enema I was afraid I would have a sexual climax in the examination room through association with anal sex. We engage in anal sex less often than in other forms, but I would describe the feeling as slutty (in the best sense of the word) and very filling. {In my fantasy life, I would like to have one cock in my cunt and one in my ass.} In addition, there's the side advantage of making me look forward to my next GI series. This is an extremely creative and generally well-written story. {It has a few grammar glitches that supplied the examples for this week's Grammar Tip of the Week.} The author uses a nice variety of stylistic techniques. I especially liked the way the narrator's perspective kept changing as Terri's behaviors shifted in response to the narrator's own actions. I also liked the wide variety of writing styles that the author blended into an integrated story. Ratings for "Terri's Dilemma" Athena (technical quality): 9.5 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Puppy Love" by M.M. Twassel (mmtwassel@aol.com). This story is mostly a lengthy description of a young boy's infatuation with a girl several years his senior. There's no really hot sex in this story; but if you're interested in the detailed description of a young boy's emotions as he experiences attraction, wonder, and rejection with regard to a more mature girl, you may enjoy this story. The story includes a surprise ending which I think could have been set up better. I don't mind being surprised - in fact I like it; but once I am surprised I like to be able to think over the earlier parts of the story and see a clear rationale for the surprise ending. That didn't quite happen here. However, it's still a pretty good story; the only people who will be really upset are those who are looking for vivid descriptions of raging orgasms, which are completely absent here. Ratings for "Puppy Love" Athena (technical quality): 9.5 Venus (plot & character): 7 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7 "Nice Story" by Cathy E No (no+@andrew.cmu.edu). Amazing. Incoherent. Stupid. Lots of sex. Those of you who read my reviews solely so that you can read what I dislike will not want to miss this "story." Ratings for " Nice Story " Athena (technical quality): 1 Venus (plot & character): 1 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 1 "Wild Nuns" by Unknown Author. There are several stories in this series. I guess the Catholic Anti-Defamation League might get upset over them. For example, I don't think it's true that Catholic nuns hear confessions when the priest is on vacation; and even if they did, the nun-confessor probably wouldn't let an altar boy crawl up under her robes and stimulate her sexually while she listened to another penitent describe her sexual sins. And even if this did happen, I seriously doubt that the nun would go into rapture with God when the boy does this, nor would it please her if he shot his tongue ever deeper into her virgin cunt. If this sort of thing really happened, I would have heard about it by now on Phil Donahue, and a lot more altar servers would go to confession a lot more often. And when Catholics talk about not spilling their seed, I don't think that really means they should put their cum into a can or jar and freeze it. And I'm pretty sure that there's not an Italian newspaper called the Vatican Observer that would carry a story of a Miraculo about a certified virgin nun giving birth on Christmas Eve to a baby girl that looked just like the altar boy's ugly sister. After all, babies all look alike. Ratings for "Wild Nuns" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 "Dear Gus" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). If you follow the "My Friends the Allens" series, you know that the anonymous narrator is a normal but wonderful stud who services the needs of Pat and Julie and their friends with great vigor. He is a Renaissance man, a knight in shining armor, a traveling companion. and a live-in stud - all in one polyamorous package. This story, however, is not about him. Instead, Our Hero finds that he has carried off by mistake a letter from the lovely and lascivious Pat to a much less chivalrous but more brawnily endowed gent who has been boinking her. He reads the letter; and of course we read it with him. The sex is hot, but not as hot as with Our Hero himself. I usually dislike second-person narratives ("you" stories), but this one used that technique properly. The "you" does not make the reader artificially identify with any particular person; rather the reader feels that he/she is reading someone else's letter - a form of indirect voyeurism. The scenario in the story is one-on-one sex, but this author seems to thrive more effectively when there are more than two bodies involved. This is a good story, but not as good as most of the others in this series. Ratings for "Dear Gus" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 "Scarlett's Cove" by Ann Douglas (AnnD55@NYC.Pipeline.Com). As I understand it, Ann Douglas has become anxious about the possibilities of censorship and related repression on the Internet and has withdrawn from posting her stories with this newsgroup. I heard she has started her own newslist, to which she circulates her stories, and so I thought she wasn't going to post on a.s.s. anymore. Therefore, I was surprised to find this story in the postings. I don't know how it got there, but I'm glad it did. The story centers around the visit of two friends to a Caribbean Club Med type resort that caters to lesbians and bisexuals. Although both women are lesbians, they are not habitual lovers - just friends. After some preliminary fun, Jeanette finds that Arlene has entered her into a sort of charity bachelor auction - the other women will bid to have Jeanette for their date for the evening. I think I have told you enough about the story. It's a hot plot with hot sex. I might add that Jeanette is a high school teacher and many of us often wish we could touch our favorite students the way she does - but somebody might take that comment the wrong way. Ann writes many different kinds of stories, and I enjoy them all; but this story is a good example of what Ann does best: an interesting and sexy plot woven into an exotic environment embellished with accurate information about varied cultures. In addition, the author enriches the narrative with sexy flashbacks and side plots that heighten the tension and allure of the main storyline. As I have said many times before, although I suspect that all sensible women would enjoy sexual activities like those described in this story, I myself have never engaged in full genital lesbian or bisexual activity. However, after reading this story, my defenses have begun to crumble. If by some chance I would ever be bereaved of this wonderful guy that humps me on demand like Mark Aster's studly hero and then found myself on an exotic Caribbean island with a beautiful, rich former student who was professing her love for me after purchasing me for an exorbitant price in a charity auction - well, I might give it a thought. Hell, I think I'll give it a thought right now! I'm reminded of the words of my daughter, who every year proclaims that "this is my best birthday ever." This is the best story ever by Ann Douglas. Ratings for "Scarlett's Cove" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 GRAMMAR TIP OF THE WEEK: Some authors have a problem with misplaced modifiers. My husband used to have the same problem. I told him misplaced modifiers were like misplaced condoms: one should either stop misplacing them or get a vasectomy. He stopped misplacing his modifiers. He later got the vasectomy anyway, but he was grateful for my advice. In some cases misplaced modifiers make it hard to tell whom the modifier is modifying. I found this example in one of the stories I reviewed this week: I glared at my sister for a long minute, cold on the outside, raging on the inside. It's not clear who is cold and raging. Grammatically, the best guess is that it is the sister who is feeling these emotions, but it's not clear. In other cases in the same story, it was grammatically clear whom the modifier is modifying, but I'm pretty sure the author intended for it to modify somebody else: Stressed out, horny, frustrated by a dead end relationship, Terri had ignited a powder keg of emotions within me. The narrator meant that he was stressed out, etc.; but the sentence clearly says that Terri was experiencing these emotions. Here is another example. See if you can spot the problem. Prior to this experience, a friend read the story and tried to teach me the use of semi-colons. He also had some constructive comments to make. A busy man, I appreciate the time he spent helping me. Grammatically, the author is saying that HE is a busy man. I think he meant to say that his friend was busy. This instance offers a good insight into WHY these mistakes occur. In the first two sentences of this excerpt, the author was focusing on his friend. He continued that focus with "A busy man," but then he switched to himself as the subject of the sentence. and this switch caused the grammatical error. There are many ways to solve this problem: Since I know he is a busy man, I appreciate the time he spent helping me. A busy man, he deserves my thanks for the time he spent helping me. I appreciate the time this busy man spent helping me. >From