From: celeste801@aol.com (Celeste801) Date: 13 Nov 1995 19:07:35 -0500 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d Subject: Celestial Reviews 15 Celestial Reviews 15 - August 30, 1995 Note: My personal experience is that this is a pretty friendly group. In view of that fact, I am surprised when I find out how rarely the authors of these stories hear from the readers. The authors really do appreciate constructive comments. I even get thank you notes from authors after I post a review that was highly critical of their work. My advice is this: if you get an hour's enjoyment (or a roaring orgasm) out of a story, consider occasionally e-mailing a note to tell the author what you liked or disliked about the story. Also, a reader recently commented that he could not find the stories I reviewed, because they disappeared from his posting service within 18 hours. He suggested that I post the author's e-mail address. I am implementing this suggestion, when I can easily find the addresses. I don't see this as breaking confidentiality, since I am getting the address out of the publicly posted story anyway. Please remember that the best way to get the story is from the postings. (If a thousand people read a story and all thousand of them request it directly from the author, this would be an unreasonable burden.) If this new policy poses an inconvenience to authors, I would appreciate it if they would let me know. "Good Grief" by Sue (surrogate sex) 10 "Celeste" by Dirty Dawg (romance) 10 "PLA Tiger II" by Zhong (wartime sex) 8 "Nice Girl" by Of 2 minds (wife watching) 6 "Nice Girl" by Of 2 minds (case study of dysfunctional personality) 10 "An Artist, A Lady, and a Bar" by Sean (sex with an artist) 6 "Wet Dreams" by Backrub (mind control & dreams) 10 "Lynn" by Dirty Dawg (romance) 10 *"The Divine Gift" by Wollstonecraft (sex in church!) 8 *"Tales of the Seeding" by Wollstonecraft (Primitive sex rituals) 10 *"Louvre Love" by Sue (Sex & Fantasy in the Louvre) 7.5 "Campus Crusade" by Sean (sex in public places) 6 "Kris" by Dirty Dawg (romance) 10 *Indicates a repost of a previous review. (The story has recently been reposted. If you repost a story, please contact me, and I'll try to repost the review. Readers appreciate this. Even if you or they thoroughly disagree with my review, this practice is likely to be helpful to everyone. IMPORTANT: If you modify a story before you repost it - which may be a good idea - please tell me. I do not have time to re-download stories that I think are identical to the ones I have already reviewed. If I know no different, I'll probably just repost the old review.) "Good Grief" by Sue (SueNH@aol.com). I often hear the refrain, "All those fuckin' stories on a.s.s. are the same!" Every once in a while, I start to believe it and think that I have seen (or read about) everything. Then I run across a story like this to reinforce my belief in creativity. I don't know what I can tell you about this story without ruining the plot for you. The action takes place in a cemetery and in a motel shortly after the funeral of the narrator's close friend. The sex is both tender and hot. You'll just have to read this excellent story to find out the details. (Rating: 10) "Celeste" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). From its title I assumed this would be a story about a naked naughty nympho teenage cheerleader having midair sex with her skydiving coach before landing in a cucumber patch and doing the wild thing with the horny St. Bernard dog that was accompanying the two nuns who were fucking the brains out of the altar boys behind the barn. I was wrong. This story is one of the best treatments of human emotions that I have read in a long time. I literally both laughed out loud and wept while I read this story. Then I just felt like cuddling up with my husband, who was watching Rambo or some godawful thing on TV. At first I was upset that this story was titled "Celeste," but now I feel honored. (Rating: 10) "PLA Tiger II" by Zhong (an113322@anon.penet.fi). PLA stands for People's Liberation Army. The story is written from the point of view of a Chinese soldier who wants to get some peasant pussy before he goes off to kick Vietnamese butt. The author assumes that relatively few readers of this story will have strong sympathies with Chinese Communist soldiers, and so he presents the guy as pretty much of a brute who is exploiting the innocence of the peasant girl. The narrator tells the story in a way that certainly seems "foreign," but I don't know enough about Chinese culture to know how accurate this portrayal is. The sex is vivid, but I didn't find it to be especially "hot." This possibly has something to do with my personal dislike for exploitive sexual activity. On the other hand, once I started approaching the story as a brief case study instead of looking for a hot sex story, I began to enjoy it more. The author does a particularly good job of blending contempt for the girl with the soldier's animalistic sexual passion. I was left with the impression that this guy was a misguided asshole, and I hoped he got his brains blown out in the ensuing battle. I think that's just the way the author wanted me to feel. (Rating: 8) "Nice Girl" by Of 2 minds (of2minds@aol.com). About once a month (apparently in relation to phases of the moon or the pitching rotation of the Texas Rangers - I'm sure it has nothing to do with PMS), I get this wild urge to abandon my role as a sexy English teacher and smut critic and move into my other personality as a pop psychologist. This story triggered my psychosis. Hence the schizophrenic double rating in the list preceding these reviews. If you read this story because you're horny (or want to get that way) and need some good action, this is a story about a guy who invites his old roommate to spend the night and then wakes up in the middle of the night and finds his roomie fucking the brains out of his supposedly faithful wife, who is loving every minute of it. There's a whole genre of sex stories that focus on wife watching, and large numbers of happily married family men (and a smaller number of equally sane and stable women) get off on this sort of thing. I don't. If my husband were such a weakling that he got his kicks out of watching me do it with someone else, I wouldn't respect him. Likewise, I wouldn't respect myself if I had such a weak personality that I would marry a guy who would be my caretaker until I could get an occasional romp in the sack with a real man. My husband doesn't own me, but we have this deal that's based on these things called vows that we take seriously. My personal feelings are so strong that I simply don't turn on to fantasies about spouse watching. (Note that I am not saying *you* are wrong to enjoy this genre. All I'm saying is that this kind of story does not appeal as a turn-on to me - and there are a lot of other people like me.) So, if I rate this for its potential as a wife-watching story designed to turn people on, I'd give it about a 6. It's a decent story of that genre, but I think there's room for improvement. (But I hasten to add that a person who is a connoisseur of this genre may give this story a different rating.) This reminds me: A couple of weeks ago I reviewed "The Top Ten Lies of Usenet Porn." I hope that author reposts that exceedingly clever list and that others add to it once in a while. If I recall correctly, one of those lies was "When a guy comes upon his best friend fucking his wife's brains out, the natural reaction is to either applaud or join in." <> So now my alter ego kicks in, and I'll reexamine the story as a brief psychological case study. Although it's obvious to me that about 90% of the people reading this newsgroup are looking fore sexual titillation, a case study about sexual behavior would still belong on a.s.s. It's actually possible that sexually oriented people are willing to think about sex as well as have fun with it. The woman in this case study has been involved in an abusive relationship with her father as a child. (Note: the "abuse" is badly stated by the author - perhaps because he felt uncomfortable with it. I think it would have been better to simply remain ambiguous about the specific nature of the abuse, but to imply that it had happened. I really doubt that the "abuse" described by the author would lead to such a severe dysfunction - unless that abuse were merely the tip of a larger iceberg.) During the intercourse with the roommate she calls out her father's name and her husband's name. What we have now is a case study of a dysfunctional person, who is managing to cope pretty well with the dysfunction. I mean, she has this scar on her personality, and yet she has managed to lead a pretty normal life under the protection or safety provided by her husband, who is also using her to meet some needs of his own. Had this pervert of a roommate not shown up, she would have continued her pleasant existence; and even after her session with him, it seems possible that she is going to return to near normalcy. Perhaps she has even grown as a result of the roommate experience. I would like to know a little more about the woman's background in order to consider this an excellent case study; but it's already pretty good. It seems safe to assume that lots of normal people in real life have similar "dysfunctions" but are considered functional because they handle them well. It is also worth noting that certain personality disorders can actually become strengths - for example, the maniacal preoccupation with specific activities can often be a handicap; but such singlemindedness can become a strength under the right circumstances. The trick, as Clint Eastwood says, is to know your limitations. An extension of this reasoning is that if it is possible that activity like that described in the story is not necessarily destructive to personalities and relationships, then a fortiori *fantasizing* about such activities would be even less likely to be destructive. Enough pscyhobabble! Go figure! (Rating: 6 as wife watching; 10 as a case study.) "An Artist, A Lady, and a Bar" by Sean (megason@mail.utexas.edu). This is a story about a woman who meets a wonderful sculptor in a bar and takes him home with her after he tells her how beautiful she is. He forms a body cast of her and then does wonderful things sexually to her body. He even leaves her a sexy memento. The descriptions of sexual activity in this story are interesting and sometimes creative. The most serious problem with the story is the lack of character development. This story reminds me of a typical modern porn film: beautiful people meet in a colorful or exotic environment and then whip their clothes off and do the wild thing. Just as in the porn flicks, the guy (who happens to be a wonderful sculptor) has a dick the size of a large salami. I can just hear the woman moaning, "Oh! It's so big. Fuck me harder!" In the movie, of course, the words would not be in sequence with the fuckee's lip movements. This kind of trite, formula-based sex isn't necessary for a good story. This author has a really good idea. I think he/she could have done wonderful things with this plot without resorting to the superficial storyline. For example, the huge cock doesn't really add much to the story. The story would be just as sexy and the lovemaking just as wonderful if the sculptor would have had a teensy-weensy nine-inch cock, like my husband's - before I apply the J-move. I would urge readers who want to write better (including this author, I hope) to compare this story to Sue's "Craftsmanship." The stories are really very similar - a sculptor (or glassblower) demonstrates his skills and then integrates these into the lovemaking process. (How's that for making a good fuck sound really blase?) Sue develops the artist's character and gives a rationale for what's happening, whereas the current author throws in superficial things like the dinosaur dick. Seriously, read both stories, and compare them. Most readers will enjoy Sue's more, even though they may not have analyzed their rationale as carefully as I have. Writing descriptions of sexual activity is actually pretty easy. Making it seem sexy to the reader is the hard part, because this requires developing a context that builds anticipation, interest, and intensity. If Sue would have omitted all the character development from "Craftsmanship" and just said, "The glassblower fucked me really hard with his humongous dick and shot my very wet cunt full of gallons of cum," that story would not have been nearly as good as it was. (Interestingly, my spellcheck - apparently designed by Freud - did not recognize the term "humongous dick" in the preceding sentence. It suggested that perhaps I meant "humorous dick." Spellchecks can't really make social commentaries or insult people, can they? Equally interesting is the fact that I have inadvertently accepted the computer's suggestion and changed humongous to humorous three times in a row! ) I am not trying to embarrass either Sue or the present author. My point is not that the present story is particularly awful, but rather that it has potential that has not been developed. (Rating: 6) "Wet Dreams" by Backrub (BCKRUB@aol.com). The protagonist in this story has the power to sense out women's dreams and their thoughts that occur when their senses are not fully awake. He is able to have wakeful sex with them and yet leave them with the feeling that it was all a dream. (The author doesn't explain how the protagonist prevents conception; but that may be expecting too much from an a.s.s. story.) The story describes in vivid detail one specific encounter. Would this kind of power be a blessing or a curse? You read the story and decide. The author does a great job of combining a sense of the mysterious and the realistic throughout the story. It's almost like a dream itself. Oh, no! Maybe I'm dreaming right now. Maybe HE's controlling this dream! You don't think that warm feeling I'm getting in my pussy.... (Rating: 10) "Lynn" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). No offense to any of the other authors, but this is the BEST STORY I have yet reviewed. If you like romance, read it! (RATING: 10) *"Tales of the Seeding" by Wollstonecraft. This is a set of narratives from the different perspectives of people who are extremely unsophisticated in their sexual knowledge. We could be dealing with cave dwellers, with people on a remote island not yet conquered by "civilized people," or with aliens whose sexual accoutrements resemble those of humans. What is fascinating is that the descriptions all refer to sex (sometimes in very graphic terms) without ever using either the formal (intercourse, vagina, etc.) or informal (fuck, cunt, etc.) terminology that we normally encounter in such stories. The author does an amazing job - I caught only one mistake, where the author used the word "come" to describe an orgasm. In addition to playing with words, the author does an excellent job of building anticipation and creating a mood of mystery. I loved it. This is a really creative, ingenious story. (Rating: 10) *"The Divine Gift" by Wollstonecraft. In this story a sad, neglected bride tells the priest in the confessional that her husband has had oral and anal sex with her, but will not do it properly, so that she can bring forth the children that God desires her to have. The priest locks up the church and solves the problem for her, right there on the alter. This may sound a bit irreverent, but the author does throw in a few good prayers. But, what the hell, we're already dealing with pornography; so what's a little sacrilege? Actually, of course, it is sacrilegious to do what the priest did; but I don't find this kind of story to be religiously offensive. I don't think it's a good idea for a priest to take a woman from the confessional and screw her on the altar, nor do I think it happens very often. On the other hand, I think this makes for a good story. I don't think most priests, ministers, or rabbis act this way; but I think it makes for a good story. (Rating: 8) *"Louvre Love" by Sue (SueNH@aol.com). As I started reading this story, I was impressed. I thought Sue was going to pull off a really erotic story just on the basis of the art in the Louvre. The girl could look at the guy who's getting a hard-on while looking at a painting and start blending her thoughts with his. I said to myself, "I hope she doesn't just have the girl take the guy to the ladies' room and give him a blowjob." Well, they didn't go to the ladies' room; they went to an exotic storage room instead. There's a good porn film by Femme (I don't remember the title; and no, I don't watch a lot of porn) that contains a sequence of a woman and man in a museum, with the woman fantasizing what she'd like to do with the man. I was hoping that Sue would do something similar in this story - bring the protagonists to private orgasms right there in the museum on the basis of the erotic thoughts they derive from the artwork. Actually, I'm probably the only one who would like my version of the story. It must have something to do with those lonely times in high school when the hottest pictures this horny little girl could get my hands on were the art paintings with those sensuous gods and goddesses. (Rating: 7.5) "Campus Crusade" by Sean (megason@mail.utexas.edu). The title refers not to a religious endeavor, but rather to a loose organization of adventuresome couples on a college campus who have sex all over campus - bathrooms, study rooms, library desks, elevators, offices, and anywhere else they can think of. The ideas are great, but there needs to be a little more development. And there would be no serious objection to adding some punctuation. (Rating: 6) "Kris" by Dirty Dawg (drambo@primenet.com). OK. So I'm a romantic. I've been working hard trying to keep from being biased *against* stories about topics and attitudes I dislike; but I can't help being biased in favor of stories I do like. This is the third story I read by this author in four days, and it's the third good story. To be perfectly honest, if the sex scenes were taken in isolation, they would not be all that hot. But taken in context - as the culmination of a hot romance - they are very sexy indeed. What we have here by a.s.s. standards is a guy with a physical deformity (an ordinary body - probably a meagre six incher between the legs when fully engorged that merely oozes cum like the sex books say these critters do instead of shooting it into her cunt from across the room) and a personality disorder (an urge to possess the woman he loves and remain with her and make her happy forever). The girl whom he loved in his youth returns to town, realizes what a fool she was to leave him, and falls madly in love with him. A lot like us normal folks on a really good hair day. Not a bad story! (Rating: 10)