Message-ID: <7091eli$9803211205@qz.little-neck.ny.us> From: Lady Cyrrh Subject: The Annex Reviews, 3/20/98 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <8c09635a.3511eaed@aol.com> X-Is-Review: yes Re authors reviewing authors on ASSD: What a great development! I hope more writers share their opinions. Writers give feedback reviewers don't. Many times I want to go more into detail about a certain story, saying why I liked it or didn't like it, but as a reviewer I have to maintain a certain neutrality. My reader's opinions don't matter, but my technical ones do: that is, saying if something is well-written or not, and whether or not the story does the job it sets out to do. It's also part of my job to give a brief summarization so readers can tell if it's something they would be interested in reading themselves, and when you add these all up, I'm often strapped for space. I hope more authors answer the challenge. The stories: My Ponygirl Fantasy, Chapters 1 and 2, by Connie (M/F, ponygirl) The Barn, by FirmHand23 (M/F, D/s, enema, humil) An Orange Bird Flew, by Twice (M/F rom) Babel, by Hel Berger (M/m, rape) Four Ball, by Saffy 8 (F/F, rom) Adult--story for men, by MeCC (M/F rom) The Shave, by Ombligo (F mast, shaving) My Ponygirl Fantasy, Chapters 1 and 2 [A-] When posted: 3/13/98 Where posted: ASSD, ASSM Author: Connie Address: conniew@gte.net It's always tricky rating only the first few chapters of something, especially if it's before the main action hasn't started yet. Some stories never live up to their promise, while others keep repeating themselves ad infinitum. That said, this was an interesting ponygirl fantasy. The narrator...I *think* it's a man...applies for a stablekeeping job. He meets his new employer in a restaurant and is told the "ponies" are women who are into sexual role-playing. The stablemaster even has a website, where prospective ponygirl buyers can call up pictures of the goods and receive certificates of ownership. Does a site like this really exist somewhere? I wonder... Although this is just the beginning, the story has a lot going for it...the tone is literate and engaging, the tension and revelations are nicely handled, and there's a fertile imagination at work in the detailing of the web site. If you've ever wanted a tattooed ponygirl of your own (the registration numbers are imprinted on the thigh and inside the upper lip) check this out. The Barn [C] When posted: 3/12/98 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: FirmHand23 Address: firmhand23@aol.com A nameless guy punishes the narrator of this story by taking her down to the barn, where he spread-eagles her, sticks a vibrating butt plug in her anus, and then gives her enema, all of which is designed to get her behaving "like the perfect submissive slut." That sums the story up. There wasn't much to enthuse about in this story, which read like something popped off in five minutes for an adult BBS. There was no real plot, no buildup of tension, and the descriptions of the sex acts were perfunctory and tepid. It's been done before, and done better. However, it was short, so probably wouldn't count as a major waste of your time if you decide to read it. And it taught me a new slang word for anus: "crinkle." An Orange Bird Flew [A-] When posted: 3/14/98 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: Twice Address: monstar55@hotmail.com Literary erotica is a rare bird in the ASS newsgroups. I had the feeling this author tried very hard to write an uplifting, meaningful and sexy piece of erotica that would like to hang out on the desk of a New York editor of a major publishing house. By ASS standards, it's pretty good. By New York editor ones, though, it's a formless retread. The story is told through the impressions of an older woman watching the sunset, thinking about the three multinational lovers she has known. The language was handled well, and waxed poetic in parts. However, I found myself skimming over the sex sections. Why? When you've read over 300 sex stories, the act gets pretty old unless it's presented in a new or especially entertaining way, or the story's plot or characters involve you to the point where you eagerly read their sexual adventures as well. This story did neither, though, as I said, it was well written; but I really wanted a plot. If you're not too picky about your literary erotica, you will like this. Four Ball [A+] When posted: 3/10/98 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: Saffy 8 Address: concorde@tande.com Golf and an intergenerational lesbian affair feature in this story, which had a believable, interesting plot *and* lively, intelligent characterization. A group of older women...mainly upper middle class stay-at-homes wives...meets regularly to play golf, and on one outing one of the women brings her college-age daughter Toni along. Toni is a snot, but she develops a rapport with Fran, the narrator, who is the only one of group to have a career (she's a professor.) It starts to rain on the course, and the two seek shelter in the golf cart, where they have sex. Later they return to the clubhouse to join Toni's mom Elena in the spa where she's waiting for a massage. Fran obliges her in more ways than one...bringing both mother and daughter to orgasm in a single afternoon. Realistic, with believable characters and situations. Read it even if you don't like golf. Babel [A] When posted: 3/6/98 Where posted: ASSGM Author: Hel Berger Address: kevinismylove@hotmail.com Historical sex stories are rare in the ASS hierarchy, though they do pop up from time to time. This one was set in 19th century New Orleans. The narrator is a young male whore who dresses as a girl to lure unsuspecting men to be gang-raped by his compatriots. They do a number on one guy, but victim returns later to get his revenge on the narrator, and the biter becomes the bitten. This *was* mainly a rape/torture story (and be warned) but the genteel tone made it less squicky than others of its genre; in fact, it almost read like a fine, literary translation from another language. Frankly detailed, but not crass. You don't have to be embarrassed about reading it. Adult--story for men [C] When posted: 3/14/98 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: MeCC Address: mecc@preferred.com You can often judge a story by its title. This story is such a case. It's an uncreative, insipid title, and this was an uncreative, insipid story. Written in second person "You know this is a very special night" voice, the narrator describes a room with a "feeling of serenity and peace" and tells the unnamed male "You find yourself drawn to the color crimson that the bed has been dawned in." Uh, excuse me? Later there is a "there is a monstrous storm about to take part" with a "flask of lighting." At this point the narrator appears in a white baby doll nightie, caresses the mysterious "you" a bit, and sucks his cock. Harlequin romance novel fans might like this, but I don't think anyone else would. The Shave [B-/C] When posted: 3/16/98 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: Ombligo Address: ombligo@xtalwind.net I thought it would be hard to top the silliness factor of the preceding story, but this one passes it easily. Lori, a young woman with pubic hair up to her waist (!!) submits to a shave from her lover. As she muses about all the joy her thatch of thick black curls has brought her ("Lori had always been proud of her hair and took extra pains to regularly shampoo and condition it; even giving it an occasional hot oil treatment" "She remembered how she had vowed to celebrate each new hair by repeating her masturbatory discovery.") it's shaved off, bit by bit, causing her equal mixtures of nostalgia and distress. Come on. Does anyone really give a shit about their pubic hair, except that it doesn't get too grungy? Maybe someone who's into pubic hair would like this, I don't know. Comments to: ladycyrrh@aol.com Website---> http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us |