Message-ID: <12266eli$9806172358@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 287 - June 10 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <5530453c.35887119@aol.com> X-Is-Review: yes Celestial Reviews 288 - June 17, 1998 Note: There was a man named Sam who had been in the computer business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress. So he quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Vermont as far from Humanity as possible. Sam saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise it was total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, Sam was finishing dinner one night when someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there was a big, bearded Vermonter standing there. "Name's Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday... thought you'd like to come." "Great," replied Sam. "After six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Enoch was leaving he stopped, "Gotta warn you... There's gonna be some drinkin'." :Not a problem... After 25 years in the computer business, I can do that with the best of them." Again, as he started to leave Enoch stopped. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." Damn, Sam thought... tough crowd! "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Enoch turned from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." "Now that's not a problem" answered Sam, "Remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear to the party?" Enoch stopped at the door again and said, "Whatever you want. It's just gonna be the two of us." Second note: Two Dutch girls are riding their old rickety bikes down the back streets of Amsterdam one late afternoon. As it turns closer towards dusk, the increasing darkness of the streets starts making the two girls a little nervous. One girl leans over to the other and says, "You know, I've never come this way before." The other girl says, "It's the cobblestones." Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste "Janey's May" by Janey (military expedition) 10, 9, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360726560 "Scenery" by Nick (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352397471 "A Time to Cast Away Stones" by Hawkeye (romance) 10, 10, 10 "Party Time" by Artie (artie@netgate.net) 10, 10, 10 http://seach.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363256025 "Jesse and Jude" by Sarah Bradbury (older woman & younger man) 9, 9, 9 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=361194763 "Laura's Dad" by Mat Twassel (meeting girlfriend's father) 10, 8, 8 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=361379950 Guest Reviews: "Riding Double" by Titmouse (rape) 8, 10, 9 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360363462 "Closing Up the Cottage" by Losgud (adult incest) 10, 8, 9 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=278761721 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=278729903 "Furlough" by Friar Dave (first time) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303691 (1) http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303697 (1) "War" by Crimson Dragon (warm ff sex) 10, 8, 6 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359842030 "Doctor's Orders" by Parker (sex slavery) 10, 5, 2 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359201421 (1) "Milady" by LeAnna (bittersweet ff sex) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=355700562 "Frankenmom" by Losgud (adult mom/son incest) 7, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=353222176 "Strawberries" by LeAnna (sexual nostalgia) 9, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363376817 "Us Three" by Jeannette (Lesbian Lecture) 7, 4, 0 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122619 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122635 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122638 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122627 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122613 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122624 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122631 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362129122 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122617 Reposted Reviews: * "Hazy Shade of Winter" by Hawkeye (youthful romance) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=212320175 (*) (*) Repost not by Author * "April Showers" by Hawkeye (voyeurism & hot sex) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651286 * "Love at First Byte" by Steve Black (Cyberlove & romance) 8 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=270769994 (1) * "Reunion" by Steve Black (romance) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362039311 * "My Weekend with Nancy" by Steve Black (romance & menage a trois) 10, 10, 10 ------------------- This Week in Celestial History CR#90 - June 12, 1996 ------------------- * "Buckets of Cum" by Mark Aster (private orgy) 10, 10, 10 http://x2.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=218485296 ------------------- "Janey's May" by Janey (Janey98@hotmail.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360726560 This month Janey tells us about a recent dream. In the dream, many of the people who write for this newsgroup have roles as soldiers or medical personnel in a futuristic battle setting. The characters all vaguely resemble their a.s.s. personas, but always with a twist. I myself am a colonel, Bronwen is a general, and Sandman is a private. I suspect the ranks are based more on age than on sexual vitality. The main focus is the romance that develops between Janey and BillyG. Imagine that. This story doesn't have a lot of sex - just frequent references to people who write about sex. It's really necessary to be familiar with the authors and their work to enjoy this story. However, if you read the best of the stories published here, you'll recognize most of them. This battalion would have an average Celestial rating of about 9.96. Ratings for "Janey's May" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Scenery" by Nick (nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352397471 This is sort of a companion piece to go along with LeAnna's "Ten," which I reviewed in CR 286. Nick and LeAnna are sitting together in some sort of a park, admiring the scenery. The scenery consists of nubile women, upon whom the venturesome aficionados have been conferring ratings on a scale of 1-10, in addition to generating oral reviews of the most noteworthy characteristics of these invariably buxom young ladies. It's obviously improper to treat people like objects in this way, but I have to admit that I myself do this too. Occasionally I work out in a fitness center, and the routine there can become boring. To boost my spirits, I keep an internal record of alpha, beta, and gamma males and females. I visually sweep the room from left to right. The first guy that looks reasonably decent becomes my alpha male. He stays in that position until I come upon a better specimen, whereupon the alpha male drops to beta position. And so forth. I take into consideration not only obvious physical characteristics, but also their personalities and friskiness in the sack. Since I {usually} have no direct experience of either of these factors, I give free rein to my fantasies. On alternate days (or when there are not enough men to establish a hierarchy) I do females instead. Sometimes I even have an alpha couple. This may sound silly, but it sure makes the time pass quickly. It sure beats reciting Shakespeare to myself on those days when I forget my rosary beeds! Anyway, these two people do it more actively and overtly than I do. They even become part of the scenery. Omigod - maybe I'm someone else's alpha female.... Ratings for "Scenery" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "A Time to Cast Away Stones" by Hawkeye. {No Link available} Sam and Jen argue and make up. The emotions and the sex are extremely realistic. As we all know, the best part about a good argument is making up afterwards, and in this case the couple have grown so close that they are bound to live happily ever after - or are they? This story was published in 1993 by Pure Blue Enterprises. At that time it was the seventh in the series. In addition to the present story, I have also reviewed the following stories by this author: "Hazy Shade of Winter" "April Showers" I'll repost the reviews of these stories. I understand that Hawkeye has also written the following stories on the "Seasons" theme: "Summertime Blues" "Season of the Witch" "The Cruelest Month" "The Real World" If someone will post these or other stories by this author, I'll see to it that they get reviewed. Ratings for "A Time to Cast Away Stones" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Party Time" by Artie (artie@netgate.net). http://seach.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363256025 Artie does not write complex stories - just simple stories that make sex sound like a lot of fun. Artie sometimes makes simplistic assumptions. For example, if two sexy mothers and a surrogate father decided to have a spontaneous threesome in one of those tunnels in a kiddyland while they are supposed to be watching the children, chances are much greater that they would be arrested for indecent exposure or contributing to the delinquency of the minors thereabouts than that they would have a delightful little tryst, even if one of the threesome is a lactating mother who simply has to do something to alleviate her pain. But the story certainly is fun, and there's no harm in fantasy. In fact, the Chicago Cubs have built a baseball empire on the foundation of their fans' relatively non-sexual fantasies; and so what harm can there be in believing that three red-blooded Americans can get it on in a play facility, while the twelve children for whom they are responsible somehow refrain from doing any serious harm for the duration? Ratings for "Party Time" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Jesse and Jude" by Sarah Bradbury (SarahBradbury@unforgettable.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=361194763 Jesse is a guy whom Jude believes to be gay, and Jude is an older woman whom Jesse knows to be lesbian. But they experience a mutual attraction, which is quite understandable with androgynous names like those. If you want your son to know he's a male, call him John or Biff or maybe Harold. No women have names like that. And no men are named Mary or Celeste. But if you name your sons Jesse and your daughters Jude, your children are going to have identity trouble. So anyway, the older and more experienced Jude gets her coworker Jesse a bit high at the bar after work and takes him home for sex. She measures his cock - 8.75 inches in length and 6.5 inches around. That would make the diameter just a little over 2 inches. I know that because there is a constant ratio of approximately 3.1416 between the circumference and the diameter of a circle. I learned that from a nun, who probably never thought of applying the formula to penises. After Jude brings Jesse to a roaring climax with a dildo up his ass, she lectures him on how to have safe sex. I have never thought much about it, but a dildo up the ass is certainly a form of safe sex - at least on that occasion, although the resulting minor lesions might cause problems on subsequent occasions. Anyway, Jude assumes that Jesse is really gay, and she encourages him to fantasize about a guy fucking him while she screws him in the ass with a larger dildo several minutes later. Jude's only real fault is that she has aureoles where areolae should be. The story is generally well-written (but poorly formatted), and the sex is well described and hot. Ratings for "Jesse and Jude" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Laura's Dad" by Mat Twassel (Mmtwassel@aol.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=361379950 It's difficult to say anything at all about this story without ruining the punchline ending. It's not a full story - just a well-written, short anecdote. Take a few minutes to download this story and read it. Ratings for "Laura's Dad" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 "Riding Double" by Titmouse. Guest review by Nick (e-mail Nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360363462 I've just noticed the story coding, and I think its wrong. It indicates this is a "teen" sex story, but this is not apparent from anything within the story itself. The writer would have done better to code it as rape. This may be a little extreme, but if you are after a consensual romantic love story, this isn't it. Basically the plot is this: Large breasted girl is held down by two guys and forced to have sex with both of them. By the end, she has had all significant orifices filled. Although she says no to start with, she doesn't really mean it, and has a thoroughly good time. I don't think I've given too much away! It is pure stroke and should make those who like mild nc sex happy enough. What more can I say? Having just had my bollocks chewed for some comments on rape I made in the newsgroup, I'd like to add that this is a review for the reader. I see my role as offering a guide for people to read what turns them on. I am not making any moral judgments here - I'll do that in the ng (if at all). My own ratings for this are: Technique 6 (the story didn't really generate much atmosphere - it was really little more than a description of what went on). Plot & Character 4 ( well this is "stroke" - there isn't supposed to be much of either - and there isn't) Appeal to me 7. Normalising for Celeste and applying a "stroke" correction for the "Venus" mark: Ratings for "Riding Double" Athena (Technique) - 8 Venus (Plot/Stroke) - 10 Appeal (to me) - 9 "Closing Up the Cottage" by Losgud (losgud@hotmail.com). Reposted by John Dark. Guest review by Stephen Peters (sxjames@aol.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=278761721 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=278729903 Big brother has a problem. By opening his mouth at the wrong time he committed himself to helping his sister Ria close up her summer cottage. Now you wouldn't think that this would be a big deal, but said brother had never gotten along very well with his sister. When they were children they "fought like monsters" and now, as adults, they were pretty much strangers. Still, like a dutiful brother he takes the long plane ride, expecting to spend a few days with Ria and then be on his way. The last thing he expected was a sister who has the hots for him. Thru a hard day of hanging storm windows and post- hole digging Ria constantly (and with a fair amount of creativity) makes her not-so-sisterly desires for her brother known. Finally, after offering him a choice between sleeping alone in a cold, dark bedroom or spending the night with her on the pullout bed in front of the fireplace (reviewer's note: some choice!) Ria completes her delightfully described seduction of big brother. OK, I'll admit up front that when Celeste sent me this story I looked forward to reviewing it. I like brother/sister incest stories in general, and I'd heard good things about this author in particular. And, for the most part, Losgud delivered. Both technically and stylistically this is a well written, enjoyable fantasy. For starters, the narrator/brother (he is never given a name) comes across as a genuinely likable fellow. Even though caught in a totally unexpected situation he manages thru insight and a good bit of humor to make the best of it; learning (after accepting the inevitable) to enjoy his sister's loving attention. The pacing was excellent, and the various plot twists, while somewhat predictable (losing his luggage, for example), were in no way forced -- they fit perfectly within the telling of the tale. The author even managed to throw in a an unexpected twist that should please those with a cross-dressing fetish. In addition, while reading this story I spent a lot of time smiling at the author's clever (and original) descriptions for everything from Ria's bad coffee to our hero's surprise at smelling his sister's pussy on the bathroom towel. The line describing a pending orgasm as having his sperm "safely buckled into their fleet of rockets" had me laughing out loud. Having said all the above, I will offer a small criticism. The author never offers a reason why, after all those years, Ria finally decided to reveal her desire for her brother. Granted, in a sex story one does not always need some deep, compelling reason for the characters to have sex. It's just that while I enjoyed Ria's bold and forward come-ons, she never seemed to develop into a flesh-and-blood character the way the narrator did; and I think some motivation on her part might have provided the missing depth. As it was, this prevented me from *fully* suspending my disbelief. Still, this a minor criticism. The author's clever wording, clear storyline and well developed brother character more than offset any other failings. All in all, a very enjoyable read, and one I would recommend if unlucky enough to be spending the night in a cold, dark bedroom. -- Numbers mean nothing without context, read the review -- Ratings for "Closing Up the Cottage" Athena (technical quality): 10 (no problem here) Venus (plot & character): 8 (almost....) Stephen (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Furlough" by Friar Dave (Friar_Dave@mhbbs.com). Review by Sven the Elder, who may be contacted at Sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303691 (1) http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303697 (1) The Subject of this review is a repost, viz.: "Subject: {FriarDave}JDR"Furlough 1"( MF )[1/2] From: john_dark@anon.nymserver.com" I have reprinted the above as I think this is a *very* good object lesson on how a reposter should carry out the task. John_Dark has gone to very great lengths to preserve both the story identity and the identity of the original author. Moreover, his name only appears as the poster, not in the subject line. More power to his elbow! Enough of this trivia - Friar Dave is very high on my list of authors to read. Much as I loathe erotic stories that contain references to minors, his treatment of the subject is so sensitive as to almost overcome my dislike. I admit to having read and enjoyed virtually all of his work published to date. This story he prefaces by saying (A Bit of Spoofing Fun from Friar Dave), which is just as well, as it contains a large number of Celeste's' Credulous assumptions. If you can put them aside, and it's not difficult to do so, this is another lovely Friar Dave story. Briefly it tells the tale of a 19-year-old virgin seamen in the American Navy and the way he finally loses his 'cherry' to a hooker on 14th Street off Ninth Avenue; which sounds to this Irishman as if he might well be in Downtown New York. I guess his ship is visiting. I don't want to give any of the story away other than to say that he has difficulty being 'accommodated' by hooker number one, who passes him on to another New York Madame. The story plot becomes even more 'credulous' at this point, but the entertainment value is so high as to provoke forgiveness. Friar Dave has, you remember, warned us at the outside that this is a frivolous tale. This is straight m/f and other than the fact we have a very young sailor, this has nothing to squick the most suspicious of minds. Great lighthearted story, with a nice amusing thought at the end. Not to be missed. Ratings for "Furlough" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Sven (appeal to reviewer): 10 "War" by Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com). Guest review by Plainman. http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359842030 After I agreed to review this story, I checked Crimson Dragon's DejaNews entry and found out that s/he is one of the most prolific and versatile writers on ASS/M, author of the SM/MC epic "Time out of Time" (now at over 100 chapters and somewhere around about 1.5 MB, with no end in sight!) the gentle adolescent ff love story "Four Seasons," and quite a variety of other stories (mostly with some FF orientation). I hadn't read much of Crimson's work, but a quick sampling (has anyone read all of it?) convinced me that s/he is a very accomplished writer as well, though (for purely subjective reasons) not likely to become one of my favorites. "War" tells how two women, previously straight (at least in deed) and happily married, find pleasure and consolation in each other's bodies as they await imminent death at the hands of ruthless white-clad storm troopers in a war- ravaged world of the near future. The two women don't have much individuality, the sex scene is generic softcore/romance, and the social setting (the nature and cause of the war) is sketchily drawn, so that the particular war that engulfed the heroines stands in for War generally. Once the setting is established, the story has little conflict, few surprises, and no humor - only the (very well delineated) pageant of loving sisterly sex against a background of destructive (and implicitly male) violence. The writing is very good, and the situation carries its own strong emotion with it. Interestingly, the female/love and male/violence stereotypes don't come across as strongly judgmental or anti-male; the women achieve their mutual climax as the light of a bomb explosion enhances the inner flash of orgasm, and a window implodes, cutting them with fine glass particles - the blood and pain and the pleasure go together, a mutually reinforcing gestalt. The total effect is more like that of a poem than a story. By the way, Crimson Dragon's "Time out of Time," though interminable (like a soap opera), is intellectually challenging (like a philosophical work). The device is that the male protagonist can stop time, which allows him to enslave and mistreat women for his pleasure, while in one sense not injuring them - they eventually will be returned unharmed to the point at which time stopped, with no memory of their ordeal. He picks women with masochistic tendencies as his playthings, and they all eventually succumb to Stockholm Syndrome in one way or another. The story challenges the line most of us erotica fans draw between fantasy (which we say hurts no one) and actual conduct (which does), and also the line between consensual and non-consensual SM (make anyone helpless enough and she will "consent.") In a strange way, the story works like a feminist anti-pornography critique, burrowing from within by avoiding preaching and taking pains to skillfully push the turn-on buttons of the sexual sadist that is inside so many of us. The "hero" is an amoral patriarchal God, and at the same time an omnipotent shallowly wanton boy, who makes torture his sport. Anyway, back to "War" for the bottom line. I feel the inadequacy and subjectivity of numerical ratings even more than usual with this one. Ratings for "War" Technical merit: 10 (excellent writing technique) Literary merit: 8 (Some would surely give 10, but I like more story) Personal liking: 6 (for me, a little portentous, and not sexy, but I admire the writing skill) "Doctor's Orders" by Parker. Guest review by Fiddler. http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359201421 (1) Jacqueline Astor has a medical practice in Southern California complete with billing to insurance companies. Actually, however, she is a non-M.D. hypnotist. Her side line is kidnapping comely women, hypnotizing them into becoming sex slaves, and shipping them off to Mexico as performers at stag shows. Her receptionist is an FBI agent on her track. The previous receptionist having found out too much is kept in a back room as the doctor's private sex (really torture) slave. Her new patients (mother and daughter) have just arrived in town, and are hiding out from an abusive ex. Then everything comes together. Parker gives us two endings. As usual with Parker, the language skills and timing are excellent. (Although the disclaimer substitutes "discrete" for "discreet.") There is plenty of sex, but the emphasis is on how horrifying or degrading that sex is to the victims. The problems come in the relationship to reality. Taking respectable women and girls and turning them into sexual performers for audiences of other races may be a source of horror (or glee, if you are built that way). The economics of the situation doesn't add up, however. Commercially, starting with prostitutes is both cheaper and safer. If non-MDs could bill insurance companies, I'd do it myself. The police work is laughable. (New FBI agents do not do undercover operations without backup; if an agent goes missing, the supervisor doesn't mourn, he orders the phone records of the place from which the agent disappeared; suspecting that a villain engages in the white-slave traffic is not a reason to overlook practicing medicine without a license and mail fraud--just the opposite.) If a hypnotist could force a subject to have sexual desire from one key word and orgasm from another word (in one session yet), she could make her fortune curing the Kims of this world of nail-biting; she wouldn't need to risk tangling with the FBI. This was a well written example of an implausible genre. Ratings for "Doctor's Orders" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 5 Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 2 "Milady" by LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com). Guest reviewed by Bitbard (Formally Sandman -- bitbard@newsguy.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=355424677 LeAnna's archive: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Academy/2194 Historical pieces can be brutal on women, especially if they strive for authenticity. This story manages to be both brutal and tender. Set in the Middle Ages the lord of the manner has decided it's time for a divorce, and in those days the church was of the opinion that murder was less sinful than divorce (and you could buy indulgences anyway). Now, I've got some pretty solid ideas about right and wrong; and to my thinking the organized religions, even today, are still playing catch-up. LeAnna doesn't delve into philosophy as much as I've done in this review, but she does delve into the final tender moments between a Lady (Milady) and her female servant right before the Lord becomes a bachelor again. The bittersweet female/female scene is both sexy and thought provoking. Maybe the best thing about the story is carrying through the "what-ifs". LeAnna and I had a rip-roaring good time bouncing while soap-opera-esk sequels off each other. But even if you can't see the possible entanglements of future wives, the king, and this sexy servant you'll definitely enjoy the story itself. Ratings for "Milady" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Frankenmom," by Losgud (losgud@hotmail.com). Guest Review by R'khaan (rkhaan@ix.netcom.com) http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=353222176 You know, Losgud is one funny writer. Most of his works I've read have gotten two reactions from me - I laugh a lot; and, well, we won't say what the other is. When I saw the title of this work, I prepared to be subjected to some story about Frankenstein's mom. But "Frankenmom" is really Davey's mother, a nickname he gave her because of her many uses of the word, "frank." Davey is a struggling art student facing his first show when his mother drops in for a visit. The humor in Losgud's writing immediately comes to the front as Davey and Mom are having dinner in a local restaurant. During dinner, Mom has everyone believing that she and Davey are anything other than mother and son. Upon returning home, the two of them settle down for the night - Davey's mom couldn't get a hotel room - while getting comfortable, Davey can't help from noticing his mother as more as just his mother. The humor in his discomfort as his mother does the bra-trick (how do women do that) is precious. They spend the next day walking around the campus, finally arriving at Davey's show, which turns out to be a big disappointment for him. They return to Davey's room where, slowly but surely, things get hot between mother and son. Where the descriptions aren't exactly run-of-the-mill for this genre, it is delightfully fresh and straightforward. Nothing wild and extravagant - just two people taking advantage of a great situation. Losgud's portrayal of Davey as the consummate virgin and Mom's subsequent handling of the situation was nicely done. Ratings for "Frankenmom" R'khaan (technical quality): 7 R'khaan (plot & character): 10 R'khaan (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Strawberries" by LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com). Guest review by Dart. http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363376817 This is a wonderful story. It's a story that takes place almost entirely inside the mind of Linda, as she stands at the sink and prepares a bowl of strawberries. Picking strawberries, Linda and her friend Nancy used to say when they were teenagers in the 1960s, is like picking men: you have to be choosy and it's hard to spot the rotten ones. Linda's reflections as she stands at the sink sorting strawberries, and memories of the men in her past, were caused by what she witnessed when she interrupted her daughter, Jessica, and her daughter's friend when she went to ask them if they'd like something to eat. What were Linda's memories? First, there was the man who took her virginity, not quite ripe, a bit small, but not too bad. Then there was Lloyd, whom she met by chance while she was a nurse in Vietnam. He had brought his friend in for emergency treatment, and she had consoled him when there was nothing else to be done. They grew to be friends, then lovers, and then he too was brought to emergency; the strawberry was bitter. Her next strawberry was dark, screaming red, large, and, when she bit into it, rotten. She married him; he was the father of her daughter, but their marriage ended like the rotten strawberry she had bit into; she spat him out. Finally, there was Jonnie, like Lloyd, a friend; a big, red, sweet, fruity strawberry. And now we're back to the beginning, back to Jessica and the strawberry she's picked. Again, this is a wonderful story, but I still have one minor quibble. The night Linda and Lloyd first make love, just after they enter the hotel, there were "... clothes flying everywhere." But later that same evening, they were "... desperately trying to get each other's clothes off." Ratings for "Strawberries" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 10 Dart (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Us Three" by Jeannette (mswillow@juno.com). Guest Review by Bitbard (Formally Sandman -- bitbard@newsguy.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122619 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122635 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122638 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122627 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122613 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122624 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122631 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362129122 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122617 This story begins by stating that "Softball games are a great way to meet lesbians." Softball games, for the uninitiated, are a great way to meet women period. I know this because my nephew is a softball player and it's become my job to escort him to his day games over the past few years. Really he's old enough to go alone these days but I go just for the fun of it now. Unfortunately the story wasn't nearly as interesting as my experiences. Jeannette (the narrator) and her "soul mate" Michelle meet Rachel (who Jeannette met on IRC) at one of Rachel's softball games. The game is quickly rained out and the three run off for a bite to eat and get comfortable with each other before they hop into bed. Or I guess I should say, hop into the circle. A meeting at a softball game followed by a nice lesbian threesome would have been good enough for most stories, but this story goes over the top by making Jeanette a transsexual (a man who had a sex change operation). That stretches the bounds of credulity a bit, but then the story goes even further. Jeannette, in addition to being a transsexual is also a "Dianic Wiccan High Priestess." Having abandoned any hope of suspending my disbelief, I held out for the sex scenes. After all, I recently reviewed a story with very little plot, but lots of sex and gave it a favorable rating. Unfortunately the first sex scene with the trio didn't make up for the wild assertions. There was some nicely described petting and sucking but it was all wrapped up in out of body experiences, spells, narrative choreography, and then a bit of flogging. Halfway through the fifty-page story, after only the second (BDSM-style) sex scene I finally stopped reading. To a transsexual lesbian this story may be the pinnacle of high literature, but for me it was a long lecture of an improbable fantasy scenario with a few (very few) sex scenes to ease the monotony. This is the first story I've ever reviewed that I have not read to the very end. This may be a disservice to both the author and reader -- after all, the second half of this story may qualify it as the best story ever written. But I doubt it. And even if the second half was amazingly good, you'd still have to get through the first half, and I think I waded deeper than most people are willing to go. Ratings for "Us Three" Athena (technical quality): 7 -- In a story, emoticons are not punctuation. Venus (plot & character): 4 -- Impossible to believe, uninspired sex. Bitbard (appeal to reviewer): 0 -- The reviewer formally known as Sandman. * "April Showers" by Hawkeye. Guest review by BillyG (hayden@mindless.com). First, the housekeeping: "April Showers" by Hawkeye was reposted by john_dark@anon.nymserver.com and is said to be part 4 of "Seasons" (c) 1993. The four- or five-year-old copyright may explain why I was unable to find the bigger story. If "April Showers" is an accurate reflection of a larger work, it'd be worth finding. Most efforts at erotica employ a device that positions the players in a situation that allows, even encourages, sexual intimacy. Many of these devices are hackneyed and improbable. A few border on being overworked, but still come through, as does these vignette in a college dorm bathroom. The protagonist, Sam, meets Julie Brauer, the girlfriend of a dorm mate, as they're both walking to the washroom. Apprehensive of being discovered, Sam still positions himself in an attempt to steal a flash of skin as seen through a large mirror. He reflects a moment on his behavior, recognizing he'd be flustered were he to be confronted with her totally nude, but admits to his voyeuristic compulsion. At this point, the story takes an unexpected turn, a delightful one, a sexually intense one. And after the culmination, we're left not knowing if this was a one-time thing, never to happen again, or the start of a larger adventure. As such, it's a sweet, erotic slice of life that left me wanting more. Ratings for "April Showers" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Hazy Shade of Winter" by Hawkeye. This story must have been around for a while; it's a repost from the THC archive and has a 1993 copyright, but I have never seen any stories by this author before. This story read like a short version of a Dirty Dawg story. I mean that as a very real compliment. Sam was attracted to Lisa when she flipped into his life; that is, he thought she was beautiful because of the cute way she flipped her hair out of her eyes. They became close friends as they worked together, mopping rancid beer and sharing other intimacies. However, since she was already committed to another boyfriend, he loved her from afar. Well, you can guess where this is going, and you'll probably be right; but you should read this excellent story anyway. Ratings for "Hazy Shade of Winter" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Love at First Byte" by Steve Black (c621097@showme.missouri.edu).. This is the first story posted by this author. It's not perfect, but it's a good first attempt. The gist of the story is that the guy has a bit of a falling out with his girlfriend, who lives too far away for any regular contact or intimacy In the absence of his girlfriend, he becomes extremely attracted to an older, more experienced woman through an Internet newsgroup. The sex via Internet is extremely well done. The sex via direct contact is somewhat less vivid or less creative - it somehow takes too long to develop. I enjoy descriptions of sex that is based on a combination of lust and relationship rather than merely one or the other of these factors; and this story has both. But somehow this story takes a little too long to develop. I assume this author, like most others will just go along and write new stories - and I hope he does. But someday, I hope he comes back to this one and tries to give it a final polishing. The current version of the story contains a combination of feelings and rationalizing; and the balance goes a little too far toward the side of the rational. Another problem is that the dialogue just doesn't quite sound realistic. Don't let this scare you off. If you like romance, it's still a pretty good story. I hope a lot of you read it and drop the author a line. You possibly have better insights than I can offer him. Rating: 8 {Old system} * "Reunion" by Steve Black (c621097@showme.missouri.edu). When I reviewed the first story by this author I complimented him for trying to blend the emotional with the rational, but I chided him for going too far to the rational side. This author is a fast learner: this story is an excellent blend of the two components. I'm not going to describe the story in detail. Briefly, it's about a man and woman who used to be lovers but drifted apart and who become reunited at the end of this story. Some readers will dislike it because in the first two-thirds of the story there is no sex at all in it. Sometimes lengthy monologues about "how I screwed up our relationship" are really boring, but the author effectively uses lines from "their song" to break the potential monotony. Incidentally, I don't mean this as criticism of this particular story, but in real life when there's a problem with a romantic relationship and people seem to be drifting apart, there's at least one good solution besides having an affair or dissolving the relationship. It's called counseling. If you find that reading a.s.s. stories and even my reviews doesn't help you get your life in order, go to the phone book and look in the yellow pages In the Sulfur Springs Yellow Pages, you would look under either "Mental Health Services" or "Marriage, Family, Child & Individual Counselors." I don't know why it's not even cross-referenced under "C" for "Counselors.". It has always angered me that it's so much easier to find a car dealer or dentist than a counselor. It's not an admission of failure to seek help. On a less serious note, this story raises the question: When two people are alone in a house and no one else even has a key, why do they close the bedroom door when they make love? This was an excellent, romantic story. Ratings for "Reunion" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "My Weekend with Nancy" by Steve Black (c621097@showme.missouri.edu). Through a combination of brains and beauty Nancy LeDoux has made her way to the top ranks as a manager within the Ultimate Wrestling Association. Andy is a big fan of wrestling and of Nancy. Don't worry; you don't have to buy into the idea that pro wrestling is "real" in order to enjoy this story. Andy views Nancy as a beautiful woman who is good at promoting entertainment. Alas, Nancy hurts her ankle, and Andy helps her. Double alas - because of the injury, Nancy cannot sleep; and Andy helps her again. Triple alas, Nancy needs a man; and Andy redoubles his efforts to help out. It turns out Nancy is polyamorous. Andy has to decide if this is OK with him; and he says he needs time to think. Quite possibly, the reason for his hesitation was because he had to check the fine FAQ on that topic, available on alt.sex.wizards. Then Andy rescues Nancy from her crazed wrestler ex- husband. Next Nancy's sexy assistant Tamara starts coming on to Andy. Andy likes Tamara but resists her, because he wants to remain true to Nancy. But Tamara is going to be persistent. What will Andy do? I knew the answer, because I already knew all about polyamory. That's the value of having a good vocabulary and/or lurking in alt.sex.wizards. Actually, I *thought* I knew the answer, and I was pretty close. But I didn't guess the part about the handcuffs. This story has a slow build-up; but that's probably necessary. The ending was excellent. Ratings for "My Weekend with Nancy" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Buckets of Cum" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). http://x2.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=218485296 I suspect that this story is a set-up. The author knows I have been critical of "Wannafuck" and "Buckets of Cum" stories, and he wants to see if I'll praise a story with those words in the title. I'll show him! As you may recall, Pat has decided to get herself pregnant and Our Hero has agreed to be the father. The story begins with Our Hero waking up with a wet pussy tightly surrounding his cock, coming three times before he himself shoots a load into her cunt. Then Madamoiselle has a special request: "Would you mind if we stayed in bed today, and you kept me full of sperm?" She's serious. And there's not even a television in the bedroom with a remote control that will enable him to watch Power Ranger reruns. Our Hero is going to have to spend the whole goddam day in bed with this sensuous woman with huge, soft breasts and a pussy that will occasionally suck his cock dry. Talk about bad breaks! Oh - I forgot to mention that Pat also has a marvelous ass. According to my count, it was during the fourth attempt at sperm implantation that Our Hero's dick failed to rise out of its stand of blissful relaxation, in spite of Pat's kindly and persistent ministrations. In other words, Russell the Wonder Muscle was dead in the water. Not to worry. Exit Pat; enter Julie - whose lovely lips and lively tongue bring Old Glory to full staff. Exit Julie; enter Pat - and the deposit is happily entered where it will most profitably bear fruit. Actually, I exaggerated for dramatic effect - Pat stayed in the general vacinity to enjoy the fun. On and on it goes. You'd think all this fucking would get boring, but it doesn't. The author always manages to come up with a new twist - so to speak. I'm not absolutely certain, but I think they broke the world record for orgasms by a single male/female human pair within a 24-hour period - a record previously held by my husband and myself. If you want to try for this record yourself, here is a set of guidelines: (1) Have the guy abstain from sex for two days. They didn't do this in the story, and we didn't do it on purpose; but this will help. (2) Increase manual and oral stimulation of the ole power tool during later activity. (3) Bring in one or more female friends to help Mr. Wiggly arise to the occasion when his energy begins to wane. (4) Use blindfolds and bondage as the situations demand. The preceding guidelines will work most effectively if the two people are actually in love and really hot for each other and employ sensible habits for flirting and romance that sexy people normally apply. These guidelines focus on keeping the guy's love missile firing. My assumption (shared by Pat) is that the woman will have little trouble banging away if she's really hot for a properly honed man. Ratings for "Buckets of Cum" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 -- +----------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `--------------+ | | | | Archive site +----------------------+--------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | ----