Message-ID: <46893asstr$1077739805@assm.asstr-mirror.org> X-Mail-Format-Warning: No previous line for continuation: Wed Aug 14 16:30:23 2002Return-Path: From: SilverNominees@aol.com X-Original-Message-ID: <54.236e2b8d.2d6d27ba@aol.com> X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2004 17:18:34 EST Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2004, January Lines: 129 Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2004 15:10:05 -0500 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: dennyw, hoisingr Author: Moderated by Gary Jordan Title: The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2004, January Part: 1 of 2004 Universe: The Silver Clitorides Awards Summary: The Silver Clitorides Awards are a monthly adjunct to the Golden Clitorides Awards. Their object is to promote good stories and good authors. Keywords: Stories, Links, Awards +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+ The January 2004 Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation Welcome, all, to the first presentation of the Silver Clitorides Awards for 2004. Join us here at the Highland Games and Celtic Festival in the beautiful green countryside of... ...Gatlinburg, Tennessee? "Okay, why are we here?" Gary's Muse asks. "Your ancestors were French-Canadian, as I recall, and German on the Texas side." Keeping his voice down, Gary motions in the general direction of a hulking bruiser of a man. "That's my boss. Call him 'Fitz.' I had to be here anyway to show solidarity and cheer the home team." The man has just released a chain with a large weight at the end, to soar over a bar. Gary claps politely. "I see. He likes to play with his stones?" Gary nods. "But his favorite event is when he tosses his caber." Muse giggles. "That sounds like a typical Scotsman." "Not so loud!" Gary looks around. "Anyway, it's a Celtic Festival, too. Half these folks are of Irish descent. The podium is set up by the dancers." He points to a line of wee bonnie red-heads in authentic garb doing some sort of intricate footwork, hands at their sides. "I'll announce this month's winner after the caber-toss." Gary, his Muse, and a number of the authors and fans gather to watch grown men toss telephone poles end-for-end. Less than half of them make the cut, actually turning over before they settle. Finally, Fitz takes a turn. The helpers walk the pole vertical, and he manages to get it resting in his cupped hands. He takes a few steps into a squat, and rises up as the pole begins to tilt forward, using his entire body to give the bottom end the necessary momentum to continue over the top. He hurls the caber... ...along with his kilt, some part of which must have gotten between his hands and the base of the caber. The crowd is momentarily stunned. After all, how often do you see a man in a skimpy tartan thong? But the authors are a supportive lot. In moments, a dozen more kilts rise into the air, to land on the grass. Kind of a supportive "Highland Fling," as it were. Oh, and the caber turned, so Gary's boss is in the medals. Gary and his Muse stifle laughter as they head for the podium. "I predict interesting stories around the coffee station for the next week or two," Muse said. The authors and fans begin to gather around. "If I can have your attention, lads and lassies and so forth, we'll make this announcement brief," Gary begins. A titter stirs the crowd at the last word. Behind him, one of those wee bonnie red-heads peers over his shoulder and sees the Certificate Suitable For Framing. The moves she bursts into seem less like a Celtic dance than Snoopy's Happy Dance. "The winner of the Silver Clitorides Award for the Best Story of the month of January, 2004 is Scouting by Alexis Siefert. "Congratulations, Alexis! And well done to all the nominees and finalists. Now, go enjoy the Haggis!" +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+ Story Author Status ________________________________________________________ Amarillo by Morning Heathen Nominee http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/heathen/www/song/amarillo.htm Birds of A Feather Ann Douglas Nominee http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www/birds.html Fast Forward Number 6 Nominee http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/fastforward.html Four and a Half Uther Pendragon Finalist http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/brennan/half.htm Louise's New House JeansWeb_UK Nominee http://www.geocities.com/jeansweb_uk/stories2.htm Lucky Family Frank McCoy Nominee http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Frank_McCoy/www/lukyfmly.zip Ocean Mists Dryad Finalist http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/oceanmist.html Rain harriet Nominee http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/harrietsplace/www/Rain.htm Ridiculous Number 6 Nominee http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/ridiculous.html Scouting Alexis Siefert Winner http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Alexis_S/www/Alexis___2.htm Solo Camping Lawrence David Nominee http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/LawrenceDavid/www/stories/html/solocamp01.html Stuck in the Storeroom Rod Ramsey Nominee http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ramsey/Storeroom.txt Teacher's Conference MsTyreeGrl Nominee http://storiesonline.net/ +----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+ <1st attachment begin> <1st attachment end> ----- ASSM Moderation System Notice------ Notice: This post has been modified from its original format. The post was sent as an email attachment and has been converted by ASSTR ASSM moderation software. ----- ASSM Moderation System Notice------ -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderators: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |ASSM Archive at Hosted by | |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}| +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+