Message-ID: <45541asstr$1069650604@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: Errors-To: X-Original-Path: news From: "Kelli Halliburton" X-Original-Message-ID: X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.50.4925.2800 X-ASSTR-Original-Date: 23 Nov 2003 22:26:40 GMT Subject: {ASSM} The Birds Come Home to Roost, the Bees Have Built a Hive (slow, nosex, F-child, educ) Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2003 00:10:04 -0500 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: hecate, dennyw The Birds Come Home to Roost, the Bees Have Built a Hive by Kelli Halliburton (slow, nosex, F-child, educ) PREFACE: This story assumes that somehow a child of unspecified gender and orientation and indeterminate but pre-teen years has come into carnal knowledge in a non-traumatic way and wishes to repeat the experience. This causes the parental discussion to leap beyond the usual explanations of the anatomical and kinesthetic aspects right to the hard questions. "Why can't I have sex?" "Because it's not fair." "What do you mean it's not fair?" "Because adults have been around longer than kids, they've learned more, and so they are supposed to be responsible and not take advantage of those who haven't learned as much." "Huh?" "You know how you're smarrt enough to trick some of the younger kids?" "Yeah..." "Well, an adult letting a kid have sex is like tricking them into doing it. Just because it feels good doesn't mean you should do it. Candy tastes good but a lot of candy makes you sick and can give you cavities if you don't brush, right?" "Yeah..." "So, sex feels good but sex is also how babies are made, and babies are a big job and you shouldn't make one until you can take care of one. And that means being able to get a job where you can make enough money, and being old enough to be patient when the baby cries all the time so they don't get mad and hurt the baby trying to make it be quiet. And girls who have their period can have babies, but if they're young they might be too little, and carrying a baby can be too hard for them and it hurts them. And that's not all. Having sex can make you sick, too. There are all sorts of germs you can get from sex, and some of them can even kill you." "Oh..." "Yeah, and see, I know these things because I'm an adult. So if an adult let you have sex even though they know these things and you don't, it's like tricking you into doing something that can hurt you." "But now I know, so it should be okay, right?" "Well, not exactly. The problem is, when you're a kid, you don't always worry about these things when you are having fun. I told you about candy making you sick before but you didn't really understand me until you ate all that Halloween candy that time and got sick, remember?" "Yeah..." "And so if you're doing sex-type stuff but not quite sex, you might be having too much fun to worry about the stuff I just told you, and you might go ahead and have sex and not think about it until it's too late, and then you would have made a baby you can't take care of or maybe gotten sick, or even both." "If I made a baby, couldn't you take care of it? You're a grownup and you took care of me." "If that happened, I would take care of it or maybe help find a nice family that can't have kids who can raise it, but that's a big job and it's not nice to make other people have to fix the problems you made. That's why when you broke the lamp I made you sweep up the pieces, carry the new one from the store to the car and from the car to the house, put the lampshade on, put the light bulb in, and plug it in all by yourself and even made you pay for it out of your allowance, remember?" "Yeah. That was hard. But it felt good to do all that myself, too." "And I did that so that you would understand that when you make problems you need to fix them yourself. If you made a baby I would help you the same way I helped by driving you to the store and picking out the lamp and paying at the register, just helping do the things you really can't do yourself." "So, what about kids my age?" "I would still worry about you having too much fun to worry about what could happen, especially you would both be kids and so not even one of you would think about the bad things that could happen. I don't think it's a good idea. And plus you probably know more now than most kids your age do, and so then it would almost be like you tricking them into having sex." "What about older kids that know as much about sex?" "They're bigger than you, and if they know you like sex they may try to not just trick you, but force you into having sex even when you don't want to. Plus even though they might know as much about sex, they might know other ways to fool you into doing things that might be bad for you." "Okay... *sigh* well, what about if I tell some kids my age about what I know?" "You still might start having too much fun to worry about the bad stuff." "But Mom, I want to have sex and now you won't let me do it. It's not fair." "I didn't say you couldn't have sex. I've just said you can't have sex with other people." "What do you mean?" "It takes two people to make a baby, and for sex to make you sick, the other person has to already be sick or you have to do it someplace dirty that you can get the germs from. But there are ways to have sex that only take one person." "Huh?" "It's called masturbation, and it means that you touch yourself with your hands or with other objects to make you feel sex feelings. It's okay to explore your body and find out what makes you feel good. It even helps make you a better lover when you are old enough to have a partner." "When will I be old enough to have a partner?" "That's complicated. You know sex covers a lot of things. Really deep kissing is like a warm-up for sex. And there's things like rubbing your hands all over the outside of someone's clothes, and there's touching the body underneath the clothes but not the genitals -- the sex parts. And then there is touching the genitals under the clothes, and touching them without clothes. And all the first things lead up to the later things. And all these things lead up to actual sex. And there are even ways to have sex with genitals and mouths. As young as you are, you might not like those very much, because the tastes and smells are things you have to get used to before you learn to like them -- and even love them. When you use your mouth, you don't have to worry about babies, but you still have to worry about getting sick." "Why do people have sex if it makes them sick?" "It doesn't always make them sick, just like eating candy doesn't always make you sick, right?" "Right. So if they just don't have too much sex, it won't make them sick?" "I think I might be trying to make sex sound too much like candy. It's not the amount of sex so much as the way you do it. There are some things you can do to make sex safer, both to keep from having babies and to keep from getting sick. You usually have to put some sort of barrier between your genitals so that you don't get each other's sex juices into each other's bodies. But it doesn't make sex perfectly safe, only a little safer, and you have to be careful and know how to use them the right way or they won't work right. And there are different ways to use them depending on if you're having sex with your genitals only or with your mouths and genitals." "Ew." "See, I saw that face you made before. If you keep your body clean, and always wipe and wash yourself very clean when you go to the bathroom, it's not going to be disgusting to put your mouth down there. But if you're not ready for it, then you shouldn't be doing it. In fact, that applies to any other part of sex. If you don't want to do it, you shouldn't let someone make you do it. EVER. If they try to force you, do whatever you can and whatever you have to to make them stop. If they try to scare you, it's okay to be scared and not be able to make them stop. But you need to tell me or someone else you really trust, right away, because it's not right for them to do that to you. And you should never try to do that to anyone else, either. Also, don't ever say someone forced you or tried to force you if they didn't. I don't care how mad you are at them, don't lie and say they did something if they didn't. And never do it as a joke, either." "You are starting to make sex sound scary." "Sex is not scary. People using tricks or force to make you do things that might hurt you, or do hurt you, are scary. Sex itself is a great way to share feelings of love and closeness, and sometimes it's also just fun to have those sex feelings in your body. And before I forget, it should be fun for both partners. If you aren't sharing the fun making sure that your partner is enjoying it, or if your partner isn't sharing and making sure you are enjoying it, then it's not fair. It's okay for one partner to enjoy it a *little* more than the other... that's just because two different people aren't always going to feel the same way at the same time. But all the things that lead up to sex like kissing and touching are an important part of making both partners feel good about sex and good about each other, and if you're both doing your part to make the other person feel good and you both want to keep going even if one of you isn't feeling as good as the other, then it's as fair as you can make it." "So when do you think I'll be old enough?" "When you can think about all these things even when you're really having fun and having sex feelings with someone. That's the best answer I can give you. Only when you are able to have sex and still think about your partner's feelings and do the things to keep from getting sick or making a baby and neither one of you is tricking the other and you have enough control to stop when you want to stop or your parttner wants to stop... that's when you're old enough to have sex." "That's complicated. I don't think I'll ever be able to think about all that stuff at the same time." "Don't worry, as you get older you will learn more and more and be able to think about more and more stuff. In fact, you have a head start on most of your friends because of this talk." "How old do you think I will be when I can think about all that stuff?" "It's so hard to say. But right now, I would guess that you'll be a teenager, maybe 15 or 16 when you're finally ready to have sex. But then there's more complicated parts to that. See, right now, we live in a country where the laws are very strict about trying to protect kids from being tricked or forced into having sex. So they say that you can't have sex until you're 18." "That's old. Why do they make people wait so long?" "I don't know, honey. There are lots of ideas about why, and most of them are about people who have had bad times with sex, and who are kind of scared of sex now, even though they still like it and it feels good for them. So they get lots of mixed-up ideas about sex and then they try to make other people act the same way by passing laws or getting people to pass laws. But remember, these laws are only about sex, not any of the lead-up stuff. Most of that stuff doesn't have any laws about it, except maybe the part about touching each other's genitals under clothes or without clothes. So you can do all the lead-up stuff you want, and you'll probably even be ready for that part of it before you're 15 or 16, too." "I will?" "Yes. The lead-up stuff, or foreplay, can be very enjoyable and fun just by itself. And as you get older you will be ready to go farther and farther into the foreplay. You can probably start doing serious deep kissing as early as 13, which is not very far away for you at all, is it." "No! It's not! Cool! What about the other parts?" "I'm not sure. It's all a matter of how comfortable you feel. You shouldn't go to the next part until you really feel you are ready, and you know you are ready by still being able to think about all the complicated parrts of sex as you get to the next part. I'm really only guessing that you will feel ready for actual sex by 15 or 16. It may be sooner or later than that. And remember about the law. The law is very strict, and it is usually there to protect us, but sex is so different for everybody that the laws about the age you can have sex might need to be a little more flexible. Until they are, though, you need to be very careful about breaking them." "So, even if I'm ready for sex, I might not be able to have it for two or three years?" "That's true. It's not really fair, but it's true. And if you get caught, you could go to jail. If you are older than 18 and you have sex with someone who is under 18, even if the person is ready for sex and no one is being tricked or forced, you could go to jail for a really long time." "What if it gets boring just doing foreplay when I can't have sex?" "You can masturbate. Whenever you feel frustrated and want to have sex but you can't, you can masturbate." "Can I masturbate now?" "No, honey. Masturbating and all kinds of sex is usually a very private thing, for only the people having sex or the person masturbating. It's okay to masturbate when you're in your room or in the bathroom, just make sure you clean up your sex juices if they come out. It's probably a good idea to put a towel down underneath you so your sex juices don't make a sticky mess. And make sure you lock the door so that other people can't just walk in. That can confuse your feelings a little bit and make it not as easy to really feel good." "This is a lot of stuff to think about. I can't wait to tell my friends about all this, even if I can't have sex with them." "*sigh* Honey, if you do, please be careful. Remember how I told you some people get mixed-up ideas about sex and they're kind of afraid of it?" "Yeah..." "Well, a lot of kids' parents are that way too, and if their kids start coming home talking to them about sex, they're going to want to know how their kids found out about it, and that will come back to you and even to me, and we both might get into big trouble, because of their being scared. And it's not always easy to tell what kids have parents like that, or even what parents are like that. I wish you wouldn't tell them, but if you just have to tell them about sex, be very careful and try not to get in trouble or get me in trouble. If they ask you where you learned all this, say you got it from a book over here in my bookcase -- The Joy of Sex. I don't want you to lie, so I'm going to let you find it so you can say you found it, and also this way you can tell the truth when you say you learned about sex from this book, because it can actually teach you more than I can in just a conversation." "Okay. Thanks Mom." "You're welcome, sweetie. Enjoy the book." THE END -- kelli217@crosswinds.not (replace final o with e) -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderators: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |ASSM Archive at Hosted by | |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}| +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+