Message-ID: <44078asstr$1061694604@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: Mime-Version: 1.0 X-Original-From: "Susan Soulcatcher" From: Susan Soulcatcher X-Original-Message-ID: <20030823.173705.27313.50151@webmail06.nyc.untd.com> X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Sun, 24 Aug 2003 00:36:24 GMT Subject: {ASSM} The Cripple by Susan Soulcatcher (F nosex flash-210 words) Date: Sat, 23 Aug 2003 23:10:04 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: dennyw, hecate The Cripple ========= My fear cripples me. When I go shopping, alone, I watch the other people. Here's a mother, admonishing her children to leave people alone. The little one in the basket smiles at me as I walk past. Suddenly the clouds of gloom part and let the sun shine through. As I walk past the basket the opening closes and the darkness of my reality surrounds me again. My fear cripples me. Why didn't I smile back? Was I afraid of revealing too much of myself? No. Honesty forces me to admit I've forgotten how to smile. I made myself forget. If I smile, I get hurt. If I don't smile, I don't have to wait for a new hurt. It's better this way. I've learned to live with the pain of loneliness. It's a constant, nagging ache--but it's familiar. I can deal with it. I can't deal with new pain. One more painful incident would overwhelm me. It would burst the carefully built walls that hide me from the world. My fear cripples me. I know it. I want to change it, but every time I've cried my lonely cry for help, I've been abandoned. Better to not cry. Better to hide. Better to be a cripple. ________________________________________________________________ The best thing to hit the internet in years - Juno SpeedBand! Surf the web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER! Only $14.95/ month - visit www.juno.com to sign up today! ------- ASSM Moderation System Notice-------- This post has been reformatted by the ASSM Moderation Team due to inadequate formatting. -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderators: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |ASSM Archive at Hosted by | |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}| +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+