Message-ID: <43550asstr$1059106207@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: X-Original-Message-ID: <20030724194206.30727.qmail@nym.alias.net> From: Crimson Dragon X-ASSTR-Original-Date: 24 Jul 2003 19:42:06 -0000 Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} {Reviews} Crimson Reviews - #029 - 24-Jul-2003 Date: Fri, 25 Jul 2003 00:10:07 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: hecate, gill-bates -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- "And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'til her Daddy takes the T-bird away ..." -- Beach Boys This week we have a rather eclectic mix of stories. Pirates. Pastors. Daemons. Underage temptresses. Consequences. Marriage counselling by voyeurism. Stone stages. And, of course, more piracy (and dragons!). Perhaps it is because I went out and saw the "Pirates of the Caribbean" a few nights ago, but I really enjoyed the pirate stories. Unfortunately, I cannot devote an entire issue of the reviews to the pirate tales, but I will probably review a few more over the next few. My Dragon hat is off to Meme and Smiley this week. They made me wish I'd managed to find the time to write a pirate yarn, myself. +----------------------------------------------------------------------- The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the wind. - Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson Review Archives: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www +----------------------------------------------------------------------- If you like the stories contained in these reviews, Rui helps run the Clitorides, which is a "People's Choice"-type award system for exceptional erotica. You might want to nominate any story that tickles you. Silver: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Clitorides/www/Silver_Clitorides.htm Golden: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/Clitorides/ +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Story Summary: +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Pirates of the 22nd Century -- Meme Misspelt (pirates nosex nc viol satire) [10,10,10,10] Holiday -- Uther (MF wl) [10,10,7,7] Imp Encounter -- Taylor (MF ScFi best reluc viol snuff) [9,7,8,7] Kelly on the 4th -- Saint Phallus (Mf, fantasy inc, cons, anal) [3,2,2,1] Consequences -- Naive (M/F, cheat, flash, caution) [8,6,10,9] Better Than Before -- juanwildone (mf MF voy) [8,9,9,9] Amphitheatre -- Delta (M/F) [10,10,10,10] Desdemona and the Tiger -- Smilodon (pirates) [10,10,10,10] Reviews: +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Pirates of the 22nd Century -- Meme Misspelt (pirates nosex nc viol satire) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/meme_misspelt/www/stories/pirates22.html http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43285 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/meme_misspelt/www/ Veronica is tied securely to the mast of a sailing vessel, and as has happened countless times before, she watches as a ship approaches, skull and crossbones flying proudly from the mast. Inevitably, the pirates board and do what pirates normally do to naked, beautiful, helpless girls tied to masts. But what exactly is Veronica, and why does she suffer so? Meme writes an interesting tale here. As warned in the story codes, there is not much in the way of hot sex here, except what is manufactured in the mind. Rather, Meme touches on a boatload of issues in a very short story. The story is clever, and works on many, many levels. The value and definition of life. The morals of non-consensual activities. The difference between right and wrong. And, of course, piracy in general. This is a different story. I really liked the messages within, and how Meme stepped back and presented them. So many levels, so little time. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Holiday -- Uther (MF wl) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/story/holiday.htm Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/Uther_Pendragon/index.htm George, the local pastor, and his wife, Barb, live a happy, non-eventful life. He writes his sermons, and they catch what time they can to sneak away and quietly make love. Can't wake Shannon, their daughter. And so, when they find a little time, on the Fourth of July, they leave Shannon with friends, and find some time for themselves. [ He heard the shower begin, and then he returned his attention to the screen in front of him. He'd got through it all, and was staring at the screen when he heard the shower stop. He printed the new one out, and saved it. He was outside the bathroom door when she came out in the muu muu, but carrying the bathing suit. She cooperated in the kiss, accepting his tongue, relaxing against him. He could feel her soft breasts press against his chest, her buttock flexing under his right hand. The print-out in his left interfered with his hug. ] There really isn't anything wrong with it, but I found the reading a little monotonous. The above paragraph, I think, highlights it. All the sentences begin in the same style -- He did this, and then she did that. I really hate to be negative, and to be fair, Uther does use variety in sentences in sections of the story, but I honestly found the story to be lacking in, I don't know, life, energy, flow. It's difficult to describe, and it could easily have been me, not Uther. But that's what I saw, and so I have to mention it here. You did want an honest reader reaction, didn't you? On the other hand, Uther is writing about normal life -- not a James Bond thriller here. This is what happens to normal people, I suppose. Sometimes writing a sermon, or rewriting it, and perhaps working to dodge young daughters, accurately reflects life. I think that's what Uther was trying for here. I'm afraid, though, that for me, I ended up a little depressed. Is life and marriage really this dull and fraught with marital insecurities? Even the sex seemed ... I don't know ... forced .. routine ... desperate? Maybe that's what Uther is pointing out? I guess I didn't get a clear idea of what Uther was trying to tell me. After the first sex scene, Barb is curiously uninterested in her own climax. While I realise that this sometimes happens and without adequate explanation in real life, I was as curious as George as to why this might be so in this encounter. I never did understand it, and I'm not sure that was Uther's intent either. Anyway, the story is well written technically, though I found the prose a little dry. The sex was certainly there, even if it wasn't completely to my tastes. The characters were a little lacking, and the plot really wasn't all that engaging, at least for me; however, if you are into wedded lust-type stories, I do recommend it. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 7 Crimson : 7 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Imp Encounter -- Taylor (MF ScFi best reluc viol snuff) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43333 Author's Site: None available The beasts of Hell surround him. Taylor hefts his trusty chaingun, and blasts away. When that runs out of ammunition, he picks up a chainsaw and hacks at the horrors that surround him. Nearly dead, he stumbles to his backpack and extracts a drug concoction that will accelerate his healing, but also alters his mind. Entering his ultimate goal, imps await him. In a berserker rage, he kills them as easily as we might a pack of mosquitoes or ants. But one remains, cowering behind a pillar. Taylor, isolated for so long, longs for a connection. Any connection. And the imp is female. (Does this remind anyone else of an overly violent game of Doom?) Despite the scary story codes here, there is story -- perhaps not as fleshed out or complete as one might like, but Taylor (the author) has written a compelling tale, if you can get past the violence and the horror that permeates the piece. It is well written, but for a few minor proofing issues (and might be posting problems). And there is humanity amongst the horror. What might any of us do in a similar situation? While I'm not sure I would write something like this, and I won't recommend it to everyone, it isn't badly written for what it is. Technical : 9 Eros : 7 Character/Plot : 8 Crimson : 7 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Kelly on the 4th -- Saint Phallus (Mf, fantasy inc, cons, anal) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43310 Author's Other Works: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=saintphallus@yahoo.com&index=email&submit=Search Okay, this is one of those times that I'm going to let my bias(es) get the better of me. Our narrator picks up a young girl, who is in her early teens, gets her drunk, offers her drugs, and fucks her silly. She is a 'willing' participant, but even when he recognises her as a probable victim of incestuous child abuse from her father, who was also accused of abusing the girl's friends, he continues, only intent on his own pleasure. When they are done, he returns her to where they met, and they part ways. [ Younger {then} my youngest daughter, maybe 14, ... ] 'than' might have been a better choice, but honestly, given the overall technical content of the story, this is the least of your worries if you are still reading. [ I felt guilty, but not for long. Her daddy deserved a {metal}! He'd created a fucking machine! ] Beyond the spelling errors, and awful style here, the content of the passage about sums up the philosophy, character and themes of the story. I'm sure you get the idea. Now, this might appeal to some -- but not this particular Dragon. Enter bias. Anyway, I usually try to find *something* positive about a story to recommend, but in this case, I truly cannot. There isn't much to redeem this effort. It is a self-centred brush with thoughtless male fantasy. There is no character or plot to speak of. Even the sex is formulaic and laced with cliche, if you can get beyond the obvious rape/underage fetish that seems to be the point of this 'story'. It really will only appeal to those that get off on fantasy of underage sex spawned from incestuous abuse without conscience or concern. For the rest of us ... give this one a pass. Personally, I regret that it slipped past my story selection criteria. By the time I realised that the story codes were misleading, and that the themes were beyond my tolerance range, it was a little too late for me. Technical : 3 Eros : 2 Character/Plot : 2 Crimson : 1 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Consequences -- Naive (M/F, cheat, flash, caution) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/naive/www/consequences.html http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43283 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/naive/www/ Frank arrives at the door, bloody and banged up. You see, he went to the neighbourhood bar to unwind, and overheard Bill bragging about one of his latest conquests. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, except that his latest conquest might have been Angela. One night of ill-advised passion leads to consequences nobody could have foreseen. [ Angela could {here} the gritting of his teeth as he spoke. ] 'hear' Overall, a nice effort, though I did notice an overuse of the words 'just' and 'got'. Not really an issue -- it is well written, merely something to think about for later efforts. I was a little disappointed with the ending -- but not because of its direction. While it was effective as it was, I thought it was a little abrupt, and because of that lost a little of the emotional impact that I think Naive was searching for. Nevertheless, it was a brave direction, and effective in its own way. I did like the concept here, and where Naive took this. The characters are delightfully human, both Angela and Frank, even if the story is on the depressing side. There's nothing wrong with depressing -- it is what Naive was aiming for, I think. Likewise with the Eros score. This story isn't meant to reflect happy sex, after all. A different story, one well worth reading. Technical : 8 Eros : 6 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 9 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Better Than Before -- juanwildone (mf MF voy) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43235 Author's Archive: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/juanwildone/ While the menfolk watch sports, the women gather around and talk. What do they talk about? Why, sex of course. Today, they ask Charlene to join them, and even though she'd rather watch the sports, she sits down and listens as Aunt Pat begins to relate a story that features Charlene and her boyfriend Michael. Now, Pat herself is having trouble with her marriage as a result of infidelity, and it turns out that her voyeurism, watching Charlene and Michael go at it in the kitchen, leads to the repair of her own marriage. And a little bit more. I liked the style of this piece, though I have to admit to some point of view confusion when juan switches between Aunt Pat's dialogue and her memories. While I know what juan was trying for, and it does work to a degree, I think it might have been as effective, or even more so, to remain consistent in style. There were the odd spelling and grammatical errors, though nothing really to worry about. The story is well written, and I especially liked the teasing/voyeurism scenes between Charlene and Michael. Honestly, the reconciliation scenes at the end (especially the anal play and associated dialogue from George and Pat) stretched the limits of my belief, but overall, it is a sexy and fun story with an honest effort at character and plot. Technical : 8 Eros : 9 Character/Plot : 9 Crimson : 9 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Amphitheatre -- Delta (M/F) Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/42613 Author's Archive: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Delta/ When the Connor estate drops some of the barriers to entrance, Karen, a violinist, sneaks into the old stone amphitheatre and begins to practice. Slowly, people trickle in, raptly listening. The music inspires the small gathering. Perhaps it is because there is a place, near where I grew up, that had a small amphitheatre, and it was and is a beautiful place. I loved the setting, and the way Delta intermixes the imagery of Karen with her audience. In many ways this is beautifully written. I could feel the open air, and hear each note of her music. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 Editorial Note: This was posted back in May, which is normally outside my reviewing range for July, but I've only now re-read it again for review, and the reviews have been sporadic over the last months. Consider this more of a spotlight. I nearly missed it the first time around. +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Desdemona and the Tiger -- Smilodon (pirates) Story: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/Des_Tiger.htm http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43332 Author's Site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/ In an out of the way tavern, a young man named Will meets an old seaman named Reuben. For the price of a pitcher of beer, the sailor spins a yarn of piracy upon the high seas. Yes this does involve the beautiful Desdemona, and her capture. And some of the other faces, at least to us, may be a little familiar. I know for a fact that our beautiful heroine Desdemona, the curmudgeon Wheeler, and the captain Scipio, have denied involvement. I can't speak for all Dragons, but ... [ ... let him have it hot and strong, I can tell you. She was up that quarterdeck like a rat up a hawse pipe; her and that old dragon of a duenna she had with her. I tell you, the old girl was absolutely crimson with outrage. She told the Frenchie exactly what she thought of his day's work and pulled no punches. ] Ahem. Duenna????? Growl. [ prettily and gave him a flashing smile. The dragon looked at me and sniffed pointedly. I have to admit she was more to my taste. Nice and well covered even if she did have a bit of a beard. Still, I can forgive a little touch ... ] A beard? If I were a more vindictive Dragon ... I might ... But smiley couldn't have been talking about ... naw ... even that old cat wouldn't have been that crazy. You just wait, smiley. Two can play at this game. Now, some may claim that this is a biased review -- given some of the ... ahem ... characterisations, but honestly, the story put a smile on my face, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You don't have to be a Dragon to enjoy it too. Smilodon has captured a genre here perfectly in dialogue and setting. I believed, and I still do. Fun and well worth reading. And even if it takes me another few centuries, I'll get even with that prehistoric feline. I wonder how Des is going to get even? Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: 2.6.3ia Charset: noconv iQEVAwUBPyA1YkxM3srBk85hAQGbyQgAmpOTHSACACnQ1v692g7JNrz62ikGCInC CkRl0sur99Zs2IOwDYv/8veYEujSYqGFcjcHHo5uanY4znWS3gZD6xtsTkaV8lBq 5tNN5FlyGsZaO+gIswFDNlBb8zZxB1/X/W4zotv1YWs2e2sg560lQ2t/veNtfAiO 35nxqOP2P+t5HLnp32Sij0YhxD/eC21OKonhS0I1hXhA1qi+hRILFV0mvVPf6zzm 1Qsk/AU48WEYlUj5tidGdrNA/O5mC3mATDvuQ5Y5mgha9OSrDDgSguEw11PQrWWE tRdnoawJbtAxC+LNxQa8c6flIRFMCuR3zplJamwCi9ija49MbI6C0A== =pBcV -----END PGP SIGNATURE----- -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderator: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}| |Archive at Hosted by | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+