Message-ID: <41541asstr$1049145008@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: From: LadyCyrrh@aol.com X-Original-Message-ID: <62.2ec2cd57.2bb8874e@aol.com> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Sun, 30 Mar 2003 12:45:50 EST Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} The Annex Reviews, 3/30/03 Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:10:08 -0500 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: newsman, dennyw The Annex Reviews, 3/30/03 by Lady Cyrrh (ladycyrrh@aol.com) Website: http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh ~Sex and Sheer Silliness~ The stories: New Year's Eve Barbie (TooMuchTime): F/m cons, first, humor, magic, transform Princess Zowie and the Royal Wedding, Parts 1 - 3 (Simplex): M/F, M+/F, F/F, fairy tale, anime, lact Harem Slave (Don): M/F, F/F, slave, fantasy Next Door and Plotting Wives (Lance): M/F, wife The Fruits of Indifference, Part 1 (Peter): M/F, ncons, teen Book Notes: Kiss and Makeup, by Gene Simmons New Year's Eve Barbie [A] Where posted: ASSM When posted: 3/19/03 Author: TooMuchTime Author address: TooMuchTime2002@hotmail.com Author website: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/TooMuchTime/www/ Type: F/m cons, first, humor, magic, transform Thirteen year old Roger receives a mysterious Christmas gift from his mysterious uncle, a globe-trotting photographer with a penchant for busty blondes. The gift consists of two vials of powder from Australian tribesmen which causes objects to grow and shrink. More specifically, the first powder makes a toy or model representation of an object become real and three- dimensional, with the second reversing the effect. So, bored and left home alone on New Year's Eve, Roger experiments, and comes up with the perfect subject, his sister's Barbie doll: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> She was beautiful, that was for sure -- large blue eyes, a wide smile, naturally pink lips, and golden blonde hair that fell halfway down her back. Every bit the "ideal" that Barbie had a reputation for being. But as was usually the case with women he met, Roger could feel his eyes being draw downward, away from her face, back to her chest, which was ... just plain HUGE, from the looks of it. Or maybe it was the fact that her waist was so thin and her legs were so long. Whatever the reason, it made for a wonderful sight. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Barbie has an amusingly chirpy personality that seems inspired from the scene in "Toy Story 2" where a whole tribe of Barbies live it up in their plastic dream home and toy camper. It's not long before Roger decides to experiment sexually, with humorous consequences. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Barbie continued to stare at his erection, making him a bit self-conscious. "Did you ... um ... want to touch it?" Roger asked. "Yes, I think I would like that very much. May I?" "Um. Sure. Feel free." "Excellent!" Barbie said, resuming use of her favorite word, then stepped forward and fell to her knees. At first, she just eyed his cock up, moving her head to one side, then the other, as if to get a better look at it. Then, bringing her face very close to it, she reached her hand out tentatively, and touched it with one finger. Then she touched it again, this time pushing the head down and bit and releasing, making it twang. Which brought her no end of delight, apparently, because she started to giggle. "Your penis is so cool!" Roger blushed. "Well ... thanks. I like to think so." Barbie twanged it a few more times. "Are all penises as fun as yours is?" >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> At the end of the evening when the parents return Barbie is transformed back into being a doll, leaving Roger the wiser. This was an enjoyable story, more for its subject matter than its style. Its simplicity, in fact, reminded me of a generically written children's book in places. Yet the characterization of the doll was memorable in her enthusiastic naivete (seeing she has real tits instead of plastic ones, she gleefully jumps up and down to watch them jiggle) and the boy was nicely done too, being experimental without being brutal. In fact, the whole thing read like an example story from a textbook on writing, which is a compliment to the author, but I do wish there had been more of the sheer zaniness of the situation. Princess Zowie and the Royal Wedding, Parts 1 - 3 [C+] Where posted: ASSM When posted: 3/17/03 Author: Simplex Author address: simplex992000@yahoo.com Type: M/F, M+/F, F/F, fairy tale, anime, lact Here's a tale that could have been either humorous or very whacked. It had a tone similar to "The Prince" (the 1/18/03 reviews) and I wonder if it wasn't translated from Japanese, or written by a native Japanese speaker in imitation of a favorite anime. A hentai, or sexually explicit, anime that is. Such animes feature a disconcerting mixture of hardcore fetish action with cutie-pie characters and plot, a combination difficult for Western audiences to understand, as we tend to separate hardcore and whimsy. Princess Zowie (there were a bunch of crazy Engrish names in here, see engrish.com for more) is the leader of the kingdom of Ullandra and her ministers have advised her to marry. She is a lusty free-loving sort and not enthusiastic about it, but nevertheless she complies and begins to seek a mate. Her sometime lover Bonalot has sex with his lover on the side, and a group of other oddly named characters also have sex; nothing much else happens. A unique feature of this kingdom is that all females are able to lactate when sexually aroused, so you get passages like: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> "Oh yes suckling, drink my milk." Sighed Zowie, cradling Sheila's head and stroking her jet-black hair. Zowie's thick sweet milk began to flow steadily out of her huge soft tit. Sheila's pixie-like beautiful face pressed urgently against the enormous curved end of Zowie's breast. Her huge black eyes closed in ecstasy as she drank her fill from the Princess' nipple. Zowie loved to suckle her closest subjects and took her other breast out of her dress, letting it fall heavily on her tummy, quaking and quivering all over its huge expanse. Zowie closed her lovely eyes as Sheila suckled. A sweet smile played over her delicately freckled face. "Oh Sheila!" cried out Zowie cumming hard, trembling suddenly. So sensitive were her massive boobs that she had easy orgasms quickly when they were suckled and played with. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Over and over again. I don't recommend this as it was plotless and confusing, but if you can figure it out, are a breast milk enthusiast, and like anime girls, you may like it. However, I had to bow out after the third chapter. Harem Slave [B-] Where posted: ASSM When posted: 3/4/03 Author: Don Author address: roscoeny38@yahoo.com Type: M/F, F/F, slave, fantasy Here's another very silly tale in which it's hard to gauge exactly how silly the author meant it to be. Sheera is a young slave in a Middle East fantasy world who has been raised to serve in a harem. At the age of 16, at the height of her beauty ("Her golden brown skin was the color of fine beach sand and her long hair was the color of honey. She had large brown eyes framed by high cheeks. Her sensuous mouth was framed by lips the color of cherry. Her large breasts looked as if they had melted off her body, like candle wax." Lady Cyrrh's note: What the hell??) she is given to the Prince of Kalimari and serves in his harem as events of the kingdom unfold around her -- a defeat at the Battle of Parmesan by the Army of Tiramisu, after which he has the Duke of Fettucine reorganize the royal forces. I *think* the author meant these Italian menu names as a joke, but there was nothing particularly spoofy about the rest of the story, so I'm not sure what they're doing there. How hard would it have been it make up some pseudo-Arabic names, or pick them off a map? Anyway, Sheera is handed over to Alexander Placko -- another weird name -- the general in charge of the new campaign, and since she secretly longs for a man to dominate her the two get along very well, with time-honored utterances like "You wonderful little cock sucker. You're going to make me cum again" on the part of the general. It was hard to know what to make of this story, whether it was a parody, a sexual fairy tale for grownups, a domination story, or what. It read like the author didn't put a lot of thought into it, and didn't do any editing. This was surprising since he also wrote the excellent "Plaything" science fiction series of genetically altered sex workers (6/20/02 reviews) a series which struck me as being better crafted and more humorous. In sum, pleasant in places, but lightweight and, well, silly; the strongest impression it gave was those outlandish names. Which isn't a good thing. Next Door and Plotting Wives [B] Where posted: ASSM When posted: 3/4/03 Author: Lance Author address: Lpear28283@aol.com Type: M/F, wife Two neighboring couples share a pleasant relationship until their spouses go away on business trips. Under pretense of dropping of a wrongly delivered package Eddy has morning coffee with Liz, who comes out with a zinger: "Katherine, told me once that you were pretty well endowed. Is that true?" which leads her to an offer of spouse-swapping with the dumfounded Eddy, with videotapes exchanged. Nonstop then sex ensues: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> They took quick breaks after which he sucked first her right tit then her left. Each time he did, her stomach convulsed and she screamed as her whole body shuddered and flooded the tip of his dick with the wetness of her orgasms. After the third one, Eddy grunted, "I'm gonna cum, Liz. I'm gonna cum." "Do it you huge man. Put your cream way up there inside me where no man has ever been before." >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Hmm, she's 50 years old and married, so "where no man has ever been before" doesn't make sense, as she's not a virgin anymore, right? I felt pretty indifferent to this story. The plot wasn't very interesting, and the sex, as illustrated by the excerpt, was stereotypical. There weren't even any plotting wives, as the two of them reached their concord easily enough. However, aside from the caveman sex, there wasn't anything too objectionable about the story either; so, a B, for a quick read that wasn't very memorable. The Fruits of Indifference, Part 1 [B-] Where posted: ASSM When posted: 3/2/03 Author: Peter Author address: peterwong09@yahoo.com Type: M/F, ncons, teen This was part one of what is a longer story that seems to be a revenge one from the first two paragraphs. Kevin Ralston is a young man with a lot of problems. Fatherless and ignored by his alcoholic mom, he has drifted into drug dealing, leading to his being arrested and sent to juvenile hall for four months; embarrassment ensues when he returns to high school. He suspects one of his teachers was responsible for the bust, and I was prepared for a male teen revenge tale on an older, attractive female, but the story then took a turn into Jerry Springer territory: Kevin drops out, drifts through a series of low-paying jobs, and spends all his time screwing his overweight, slutty girlfriend Tina, spending her hard-earned waitress cash on beer and drugs. Tina lives with her poor but upright mom who works two jobs to pay for their pre-fab townhouse (just a step above a trailer park) and when mom sees the two going at it she's livid. But a confrontation with the shiftless Kevin only leads to 40-ish mom being raped and humiliated, after which he bows out ("I don't know... don't worry about it," Kevin replied coyly. "I was simply told that it was time to leave... See ya." With that simple, sarcastically polite gesture, Kevin was out the door, leaving the two generations of the Shantz females to tear each other apart.") This was another story that was an "eh" experience for me. The writer tried to work up sympathy for Kevin's rough life in the beginning only to lose it at the trailer-trash part, and I felt, as the story was titled, indifferent, even though, as with "Next Door and Plotting Wives" there wasn't anything too objectionable about it. Well, okay, on a second pass the trailer trash characters weren't very pleasant to read about, and certainly not very sexy. Maybe there are people out there who get turn-ons from watching Jerry Springer and the like, but as a fetish it didn't really speak to me. Perhaps if some humor was there it would have been more enjoyable, but the author took the whole thing very seriously. And perhaps if the protagonist had been a dangerous, smoldering rebel along the lines of, say, an Eminem or Johnny Depp out to create sexual havoc -- by working through his own existential pain -- I might have liked it more. But the character was flat, and I didn't get any sense of why he did the things he did, or how he felt about them. Could have been better. Book Notes Kiss and Makeup by Gene Simmons Crown Publishers, 2001 $25.95 The Tongue speaks! Anyone who's lived through the 70s has got to remember KISS. Even if you didn't like them, or thought, as I did, they were sexually suspect, it was pretty hard not to have some visceral reaction to the Demon, the Cat, the Starchild, and the Space Ace. They were everywhere. Lunchboxes, tshirts, belt buckles, you name it. In the decades since the merchandising has only gotten wider. Now there are video games, motorcycles, and even Kiss Kaskets for your eternal rest. I'd always thought such merchandising was a fluke, a byproduct of the band's popularity. But according to Gene Simmons in his biography, it was a carefully crafted part of the KISS business plan from day one, cooked up him and Paul Stanley, the group's two coleaders. Not bad for a Jewish boy from Queens. Or an only son born to Hungarian refugee parents in Israel, a scifi and comic book nut who planned the band's image from the very beginning as "The Beatles on steroids" who would become a brand name and cultural icon akin to Mickey Mouse. I thought all this was very interesting, as I'd never thought much about Gene Simmons before, save he had a very large tongue. I was more partial to the Space Ace; sorry, Gene, but the Demon character did seem a bit lacking in the intelligence department. Happily, that is not so, and Gene has written a fascinating, genial biography about his life both before and after the mighty KISS. For ASSM readers, Gene discusses his sex life a bit, not revealing details (he is a nice Jewish boy after all) but admitting, as a sex addict in all but name, he slept with literally thousands of girls, taking intimate Polaroid snapshots of most of them, a hobby he claims is less damaging than liquor or drugs. He's also fairly indiscriminate, his partners including a deaf girl, big-name celebrities Diana Ross and Cher, and a sexagenarian limo driver. You go Gene! The book also has a nice selection of pictures, some of the band in their early years, and lots of candid photos from recent decades. The picture of Gene with his mom is a winner. Want to join the KISS army, but missed the boat? Read this book. -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderator: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}| |Archive at Hosted by | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+