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From: Jack C Lipton <cupasoup@softhome.net>
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Subject: {ASSM} The Beard Necessities [1/2] - Assets and Elbows (ROM FF FM bond? oral 1st)
Date: Sat, 18 Jan 2003 19:10:06 -0500
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Author: Jack C Lipton <cupasoup@softhome.net>
Title: The Beard Necessities: Assets and Elbows
Part: 1/2
Universe: beard
Summary: An idiotically considerate man marries a lesbian to provide an illusion, hoped for more, then got it in an unexpected way
Keywords: ROM FF FM oral bond? 1st
Revision: $Revision: 1.7 $
Archive: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/CupaSoup/www/
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		    The Beard Necessities
		      Assets and Elbows

		      by Jack C Lipton


It was all my own fault for being kind to a gay co-worker
who was getting completely stressed out by her parents.  So,
even though still a virgin, I offered to marry her.  While I
didn't expect much from her, I went into the relationship
with expectations that she'd take some interest in my needs,
even if only by setting me up.  Even though we got along
very well at work, I wasn't expecting what I ended up with.
There is no doubt now in my mind that I was too easily
manipulated.  I still am, come to think of it.  My desire to
have someone to protect and care for seemed to be strong
enough to be used by a woman.

We had a very good relationship in other ways, as buddies.
She and I could discuss any subject, even sex, but sexual
activity between us was, for her, a non-starter.  It might
have helped had she tried to set me up with someone, but it
seemed she wasn't going to "share".

Yes, I got to feeling stupid and left out.  It was my own
fault given how things were going.  I figured that she'd
either unbend her preferences enough to break me in but
that certainly didn't happen for the first two months.  She
did unbend enough to give me hand-jobs occasionally, but
despite being a definite improvement over my own efforts,
her heart was certainly not in it, so I gave up and even
discouraged her from doing it, it was no fun when it seemed
like work.  She was willing to teach me how to give her
hand-jobs (and even showed me how to go down on her) but
further reciprocity seemed out of reach.

While my presence relieved her of a lot of pressure from her
parents (and I heard reassuring things from my own given
their own doubts about my sexuality) the fact that we were
an inter-racial couple was being overlooked by them.  I
sometimes think she chose a white guy to annoy her parents;
They seemed so over-joyed that she "wasn't a lesbian" that
they overlooked my color and accepted me.  As an only child,
her parents were hoping to get some grandchildren soon but
weren't pushing it as hard as they might.

Jo (short for Joanne) was reluctant to "set me up" with any
women friends who were bisexual (or at least curious about
heterosexuality) even asking if I was willing to try a guy,
which seemed insensitive at the least and even offensive.  I
was accumulating the gumption to bail out of this failing
relationship since all I was around for was to provide the
appearance of heterosexuality.

And to pay half the rent.

For her, things went swimmingly.  We had a two bedroom
apartment so each of us had a room.  I'd been sleeping alone
for so long in my life but it slowly became more and more
unpleasant to be alone as time went on.

I hadn't built up enough anger to leave before everything
changed for us.  Jo picked up a woman who ended up changing
everything for us, though not immediately.  First they had a
noisy time fucking each other.  I could hear them going at it
on that Friday night so I just turned up my stereo in the
bedroom to try to drown out the moaning coming throught the
wall as I fell asleep, feeling even more shitty and alone than
I had before I met Jo.  Every night lately it was the same
repeated words to myself: Stupid, Stupid, STUPID!

I didn't expect to wake up with my arms tied behind my back.
My feet were bound as well, but not as uncomfortably.  This
was quite awkward.

Jo's date that night was a tall willowy white woman, blonde
hair, blue eyes: the kind of girl I'd wish was stupid enough
to find me attractive.  She was quite naked and sitting on
my bed but the poor lighting didn't illuminate her sexuality
to me.  I'd seen her dressed before in the light.  She was
beautiful in my eyes then and she still was.

"Jack, how do you feel right now?"

I was still disoriented, frustrated ... in a little bit of a
nasty mood.  I growled.  "How do you expect me to feel?  You
guys had a good time, I get woken in the middle of the night
to discover I'm tied up, especially in a rather uncomfortable
position.  So I'm unhappy, all right?"  I could tell that my
voice was a bit snarly.

"Feeling left out?"

I have no idea what came over me at that point;  It all came
to the surface.  I told her the truth.

"Yes, I'm feeling left out.  She won't even lift a finger to
help ME find someone to be with, unless it was a guy.  I'm
not interested in a guy, I want a woman.  Someone soft and
kind and tolerant of me.  I'm tired of being just window
dressing for my wife.  She gets out, she has dates, and I
have nothing.  I don't know why but it's like she's intent
on punishing me for something.  Why have I deserved this?"

I couldn't help it, everything came out and I lay there on
my bed weeping in front of this stranger.  I didn't even
notice when she moved to lay down on the bed but I DID notice
when I found a breast in my face and a nipple being placed in
my mouth.  As I took the proffered nipple I felt her arms
cradling my head and her soothing voice telling me to suck on
the nipple and to relax.  She obviously trusted me enough to
let me nurse on her nipple (something I'd not done yet, I was
quite naive) so it was easy for me to open up for this
stranger, so I listened to her and relaxed.

I must've fallen asleep despite having my wrists tied up but
it seemed odd that I could remember that I had dreams though
I was uncertain of their content once I awakened.  I wasn't
tied up at that point, so I started to think that my midnight
awakening was just another dream.  Usually I awaken with no
memories of any dreams or even that I dreamt at all, so this
stood out.

I got up, went into the bathroom and dealt with my biological
needs (including draining my prostate in the shower) as I
came to life for the day.

Jo's bedroom door was closed despite the smell of the coffee
maker and I headed for the kitchen to get some cereal for
breakfast, half expecting Jo to be there.  Instead I found
her date from the night before sipping coffee.  Her look at
me didn't seem to show as much revulsion as I'd seen on Jo's
dates before while I walked across and put on a kettle of
water for tea.  I then retrieved a tea-bag and a mug for
myself.

Our guest looked at me and introduced herself: "Good morning
Jack.  I know Jo didn't really introduce us, my name is Sam,
short for Samantha."  She smiled at me and held out a hand,
which I took and shook.  I had to look again.  I really wish
I had a woman of my own to smile at me like that-  I felt
taller suddenly.  I couldn't resist, I smiled back, saying
as pleasantly as possible, "Good morning Sam."  Her smile
widened, mine widened, my sagging spirit almost soared in
this feedback loop, so I had to shoot it down.  This woman
was a lesbian and couldn't really be interested in me.  As
my smile faded hers did as well;  I wished I knew what kind
of look flashed across her face.  It was almost sad.

My water boiled so I made a mug of tea for myself and, while
it was steeping, I got out a bowl and pulled down a box of
cereal.  I looked over my shoulder and asked if she wanted
anything;  She chose to have the same thing I was having.

Over breakfast we discussed a lot of things;  She learned
that I was a systems analyst (Jo's a great tech writer) and
I discovered she was an MD, a psychiatrist.  If I didn't
know better I'd have thought she looked spooked or worried
as she told me this.  I nodded adding "Tough field.  Too
many shades of gray for someone like me to cope with.  I'll
stick with ones and zeroes, it's easier to get them right." 
The conversation flowed into other areas and a small part
of me wondered why she seemed so relieved.  I was cleaning
off the table when I commented "It's odd for Jo to sleep
so late".

"Well, maybe she's a little tied up right now."

My head suddenly snapped around-  the choice of phrasing did
seem odd to me, given the odd dream from the night, so I
said the dumbest thing I could think of: "Huh?"

"Follow me."

I followed her into Jo's bedroom and found my wife naked,
tied down spread-eagled on the bed with what looked like a
gag in her mouth.  While I've only occasionally seen her
completely naked before, this was shocking in how vulnerable
she was.  I was suddenly worried.  She had a blindfold and
headphones on and I could tell that her crotch was very wet.
Despite my ministrations in the shower less than half an
hour before, I was saluting my wife's beautiful form spread
out in front of me.

"So, Jack, here she is.  You can do anything you want to
her.  She's all yours.  What do you want to do?"

I was hurting inside, torn.  I wanted to take this woman I
had married but not like this.  I wanted so much for her to
desire me.  I realized suddenly, despite my anger and
resentment, that I didn't have it within me to just take
something;  it was almost reassuring that I wasn't rapist
material.  Unfortunately this whole scenario also told me
that I wasn't much of a "man" either, since most wouldn't
resist acting.  Instead of acting, I fell to the floor
sobbing.  I felt like shit that I could even, even for a
moment, consider raping Jo, for, in that position, rape it
would be.  I also discovered that I wanted to be Jo's hero,
and I didn't have what it took to be that, either.

So I just lay there on the floor like a marionette with all
the strings cut, sobbing, when I suddenly felt Sam place my
head in her lap as she sat on the floor.  I felt her hands
stroke my cheeks, my forehead, my neck and she spoke so
softly to me and I could feel the deep well in my soul stop
delivering tears.  My various emotional hurts seemed to
recede under her hands and voice.  I seemed to fade out.

I faded back in, on a bed, spread eagled and tied down as I
figured Jo had been.  I was confused.  I had a gag in my
mouth, my eyes covered by a blindfold and the headphones
were playing some kind of soothing music in my ears, so I
couldn't be aware of what was going around me.

I could tell I was seriously erect, which seemed odd given
the fact that I'd emptied myself not long before and there
was little stimulation.  With this recognition I could now
feel myself deflating.  I had a full dose of my depression
kicking in.

I felt cooler air hit me and realized that my door had
been opened;  I could almost make out voices in the distant
background coming past the headphones but I couldn't pull
any information from them.  I wasn't even sure I was really
hearing anything like that anyway.

By this time my dick was mostly down when I suddenly felt
myself struck, as if by a belt, right across my stomach.  I
couldn't flinch away or even prepare myself to avoid being
hurt and counted three more strokes to my legs and even one
to my dick, which hurt even more than the others.  I was
very hurt and feeling anger for being trussed up like this,
just so someone could hurt me.  I didn't care any more, I
was bailing out of this marriage as soon as possible,
assuming I survived this.  I suddenly realized that maybe
I'd be better off dying like this, and, looking back, I
went into a depressive spiral.  Darkness rushed in;  I
hoped to never awaken.

Awaken though I did.  I was no longer tied down on my bed;
I was under my covers.  My door was closed.  I looked around,
nothing seemed disturbed, but I felt some pain on my legs
so I lifted the blanket and found a welt on my lower abdomen
and others on my legs.

I was still upset;  Things were very strange.

My door opened quietly and Sam's head popped in and she saw
I was awake.  She came in and sat on the bed with me.

"Jack, given the welts that Jo put on you I'm not letting
her near you unsupervised.  Unlike your reaction to that
little test, she just couldn't resist the idea of hurting
you.  I had to drag her away before she hurt you any more. 
I'm sorry I didn't stop her soon enough, OK?  I'm so sorry. 
You're too good a man to be put through that kind of abuse. 
You'll need to talk with me about her, but that can wait."

She cupped my cheek and gently kissed me.

I nodded.  "Can I have another kiss?  That felt good."  Huh?
That was impossibly forward, even for me.

I could swear her eyes got wet, but she leaned over and gave
me another kiss, a little longer this time.

She stepped out of my room;  I fluffed up extra pillows and
pulled one of my sci-fi books from the night table.

Of course, as soon as I got into the book, I was interrupted.
It was Sam again, smiling at me.  Given that kind of smile
made the interruption far more tolerable.  Yes, I'm a sucker
for a woman with a happy look on her face.

She came back in, but before talking, I had a scare run
through me, which must have done something odd to my facial
expression;  she suddenly looked confused.

"Is there something wrong?"

"The ... way you've been looking at me.  It feels funny.
Good yet scary, all at the same time."

"Why's that?"

I shook my head, "I'm not particularly interesting to women;
I've never met a woman who wanted me in any way- except my
wife.  And she only wanted me to make it look like she's a
het to get her parents off her back.  And to share a nicer
apartment.  She would've preferred a gay male but she didn't
like what she could choose from."

"So you've not consummated the marriage?" she saw me shake
my head no before asking "How long have you been married?"

"Almost six months.  Unfortunately for me, she didn't seem to
be willing to help find a woman for my needs;  I've no idea
why she didn't want to do that.  Hmmmm.  I've wondered if it
was just that she didn't want me to find a woman to replace
her or just that she didn't think I deserved any pleasure."

What was wrong with me?  I was answering her clearly,
honestly and completely.  I was exposing myself to her by
telling her things I wanted to hide from myself, much less
other people.  I felt sick inside.

"Jack, relax, you seem to be a good man.  I can tell you've
been hurt but you seem very sweet to me."

Some of my sick feeling receded.  "I'm sorry, I don't know
what really wrong with me, why I'm afraid all of the time.
I don't know what I really want any more than I know why I
want.  I figure the last six months will just get flushed
away as a complete waste.  I'm worried about the future-
my future.  I'm tired of being alone.  I'm so tired of not
really having any chance to find happiness."

During this, Sam reached out and held my hand;  I almost
felt whole just from her touch.  My heartache eased as I
looked into her face and eyes.  She reached up to stroke
my forehead as I looked deep into her blue eyes, feeling
odd as I relaxed.  

"Jack, just relax, things will get better for you."

I have no idea what she did;  it sure seemed like I fell
asleep, since the next thing since I awoke with a jolt,
startled by something, and found Samantha still there.
I asked "What happened?"

Sam looked at me and I could see tear tracks down her face;
I was concerned and asked her if she was allright.  She
paused before replying "I'm doing better.  How are you
feeling?"

It wasn't easy to do the inventory since a lot of me was
hurting.  The realization that my face was also wet bothered
me, but only a little.  "Like I've been beaten all over."

I asked her "Are you all right?"

Sam nodded, "Yes, I'm fine.  Better than I was just half an
hour ago.  Jack, I hope you won't be angry with me.  I had
you hypnotized earlier because I wanted to know more about
you, especially after some of the things Joanne told me.
She wasn't as flattering as you are, by the way, so unless
we can work out some kind of equitable arrangement, you will
probably be better off with an annulment than to go on the
way you have.  She has some pretty deep-seated problems with
men and until she can get past that it'd be a good idea to
not be where she can hurt you again."

A lot of things clicked.  "So you put me under when you woke
me up?  Why did you tie me up?"

"I didn't know much about you at the time, so I wanted to be
sure I had control.  I couldn't believe how considerate you
were, once I had you under.  Your reaction to that little
rape fantasy test was unexpected given everything I'd
learned about you, since I'd relaxed your control as well.
I was really expecting you to jump her and let her know how
much you'd been missing female attention."

I blinked back some unbidden tears as I replied "I think it
would have hurt me more if my first time was a rape."

Sam started at me with wide open eyes.  "You're still a
VIRGIN?"

I nodded.

Sam lay herself down next to me and started to sob,
apologizing for putting me through all this.  Her pain was,
in a way, my own, so I was able to reach her head and I
stroked her hair and "It's all right, it's not a problem,
you didn't know.  Please don't cry..."

"Oh God, Jack ... You may not think of yourself as very manly
but, seriously, you really are something special."

Alarms went off inside me, something bad was going to happen
soon.  The other shoe was going to drop.  "No, Sam, I'm not
special.  Heck, you'd be scraping the bottom of the barrel
before you got to me."

Sam looked up, "How can you forgive me for what I put you
through?"

"What's to forgive?  You didn't whip me, did you?"

She shook her head adding "No, but I allowed it to happen."

I squeezed her as best I could, "It's alright for now."

Her smile was a little weak.  "I wish I knew someone worthy
of such devotion.  I wish I was good enough for you.  I can
feel that you care for me the way you speak even though you
have no hope of getting me in bed."

She started to cry again.

"C'mon, don't cry.  I'm nothing special.  Really, I mean it.
I am not good looking, I've got bad habits, I'm weak in the
area of anatomy-- I've seldom seen Jo naked like that-- so,
face it, I'm not in the running as a competent lover."

Sam suddenly smiled at me.  It wasn't the happy smile I'd
seen before, it was more like how I'd imagine a tiger would
look.  Sam added, "Sex isn't everything, you know.  How do
you feel about me?"

I couldn't hide the truth again, saying "You're attractive,
your smile makes me melt inside, I want to hold you, comfort
you and protect you.  I want to be a hero to you.  I want to
be the one to make you smile.  I want to be desired by you.
I also know that I don't measure up, so everything I feel
hurts, too."

I really had to know why I was answering so truthfully and
completely.  "What did you do to me?"

Her smile turned sheepish.  "Uh ... I added a suggestion
that you be honest with me at all times."

I nodded.  "You must've done a lot to get me to trust you
so easily."

"Not that much.  You're a good man, you know.  For a man,
that is."

This didn't reassure me much;  Even before Joanne I had not
had any reassuring interactions with any girls, much less a
woman.  Given the look she gave me, it seems my face is far
more expressive, so I followed it up with "Right, like
someone who's never met me is going to like me, much less
want me.  Right.  Yeah, that's believable."

The hurt look on Sam's face ended up hurting me; I didn't
feel good hurting someone else.  "I'm sorry, I don't mean
to hurt your feelings.  I can't see myself as being wanted
or desired for anything at this point.  Not even my lousy
paycheck."

"Okay, then, why don't we just drag you out of bed and get
you some lunch.  By now you must be pretty hungry.  I'll
meet you in the kitchen, I need to get Jo."

I mock-growled at this, thought better of it, and shrugged.

We had a quick lunch (sandwiches, etc) and, at the table,
Sam told Jo, "Didn't you want to say something to your
husband?  The man you took out of circulation and then
neglected?  The man who honored the wedding vows even
though you didn't?  And rubbed his face in the fact?"

Jo's face crumpled up, it seemed she was very upset and her
tears were far more sincere than I would have believed, but
I was angry.  I couldn't just melt.

"So, Jo, what do you want me to do?"

"Forgive me?  Please?  I didn't really mean to whip YOU;  I
didn't think of YOU, Jack, I saw someone else.  I'm sorry."

"I can forgive you for that, given what I know of your
childhood, but there are things between us that go a lot
deeper right now.  I'm unhappy with the way we've been
living.  I'm unhappy with you getting around and me going
nowhere.  I'd like to see how YOU would feel if you had no
place to go and no one to meet.  I'd especially like to know
how you'd feel if it was ME getting dates and you laying in
your bed alone listening to ME getting it on with someone.
Our relationship here sucks pretty bad right now because I
can't trust you to not be trying to hurt ME.  You might
never have laughed at me or directly put me down, but you
haven't helped, have you?"

She shrank from me, her eyes big.  "But ... but ... my Dad
and Mom will write me out if I'm not married.  They want me
to have children too.  What am I going to do?"

I hadn't known there was any money in this.  I wasn't even
interested in money, I wanted a woman I could call my own.
It's amazing how possessive a bastard I had hidden inside of
me, and he was doing a lot of the talking now.  "Jo, once
I'm out of the way, you should learn how to fuck a man, then
find your next husband and keep fucking him until you get
pregnant.  Semen tends to be a pre-requisite for conception,
and something you have a serious aversion to.  For now,
though, you and I need to get the legal proceedings for an
annulment under way as soon as possible, and I'll need to
find a new place to live once I get out of here."

She seemed very shaken;  I hadn't sugar-coated anything I'd
said.  It was all coming from deep inside of me.  I'd been
unhappy for a long time.

"Jack, can't we work something out between us?  Please?"

I still had a pretty full clip;  I hit her again with "And
how can I trust you?  How am I ever going to feel that you
weren't taking advantage of me?  Manipulating me?  How am I
ever going to feel that we're even, that I'm not being
cheated in life?  You've had a life, I haven't, and, from
the way it's been unfolding for me, I'm not really sure I
want one.  I really think you'd've been better off as my
widow, and so would I!"

Joanne's reaction was unexpected;  She'd always been rather
dominant in our relationship, so her just breaking down and
sobbing was completely new.  Unfortunately, I still had a
lot of unresolved anger so I wasn't in a sympathetic mood.

I've no idea why I did it, but I'd been down for so long the
drive to unload my loneliness on her was not to be denied:
"You've ignored me.  You didn't WANT a man, you wanted a
woman who looked enough like a man to fool your parents. 
You admitted to me that you'd rather have a homo as your
beard but you settled for me, simply because I was
respectful and considerate of you.  Did you ever think of
being respectful and considerate of me?  If you couldn't
satisfy my drives, why couldn't you have found someone who
would at least take a fucking interest in me?  I did my best
to take care of you, comforted you when you were sick, drove
you to dates, did the dishes and laundry for you when you
were 'busy' and I've been with you visiting your parents
even though you weren't at MY side when I wanted to visit
MINE.  Where the fuck WERE YOU?  You were only by my side in
front of people like your parents.  You didn't touch me at
all unless it was in front of your parents.  And you want
ME to cut you slack?  Where the fuck was MY fucking SLACK!"

Samantha whistled.  Loudly.

My next snarl died unborn on my lips.  Jo was already
huddled to herself, crying.  I realized I'd used up any real
tolerance from Sam and now I'd exposed the real bastard I
had inside me.

"Jack, did you have to stamp on her that hard?  I know that
you're hurting, but, where's your heart?"

"I don't know any more.  I don't care to know any more.  I
just want to get out of everybody's way so they can go on
with their lives.  I can't believe how angry I feel.  It
might look pretty brutal from your angle, but I've never
known how black hearted a bastard I have inside me.  I'm ...
It bothers me.  I'd usually just melt over what she did but
I got really pissed that she might be manipulating me
through my weakness.  I guess the last six months has
hardened my heart a lot against her."

I sighed.

"I know I shouldn't have, OK?  But I also have a lot of
accumulated scar tissue from her.  I'll grant that most of
them were sins of omission rather than commision, but that
doesn't reduce the injury to me, does it?"

Sam sat back again, relaxing, then nodded.  "All right,
that's a start.  How do you feel now?  Are you still angry?"
I thought about it;  I felt so much calmer now.  I didn't
feel any real muscle tension.  My hands didn't hurt any more
and my legs and feet were far less tense than they usually
were.  "No, I'm feeling unusually calm.  After what I just
went through that seems weird."

"No, Jack, that was a cathartic episode.  Unfortunately now
I've got to concentrate on what's left of this woman you
just chain-sawed."

As she turned to a shocked and huddling Joanne, I turned to
my wife and told her "I'm sorry for being so harsh in what I
said.  I can't apologize for what I meant, but I've been
hurting for so long that it all needed to be said.  I hope
that you can figure out what it is you wants from life."

With that I withdrew to my bedroom, gently closing the door.
I did enough damage already, I didn't need to compound the
errors I'd made.

Instead of grabbing a book to read, I went to the closet and
took down my .45 handgun I'd gotten from my father and it's
cleaning kit.  Even though I _knew_ we had no ammunition in
the apartment, I went through the clearing ritual before
taking it apart to clean.  I wasn't expecting to use it
though I felt like I should kill that damn bastard inside of
me.  It's a good thing, I now realize, that I didn't have
any rounds for the empty clip.

The activity of cleaning the gun and reassembling it was
good at keeping me from thinking too deeply about my current
situation.  It looked like my dark side was going to make
sure I was going to die a virgin.

I didn't pay attention to much else, with my stereo on (and
wearing headphones) so the next thing I knew, I had a hand
on my shoulder.  Looking up I saw Sam again, so I pulled off
my headphones.

Answering the question in her eyes, "It's safe.  I'm safe.
We don't have any ammunition for it.  I don't know, I felt
like cleaning it, being active instead of passive.  I didn't
want to be thinking just now."

"All right then.  Can you stop now and come with me?"

I made sure that all of the parts were in the tupperware
container before I stood up.  "I'll wash my hands.  Where
to?"

"Living room."

I nodded.  "Be right there."

I washed up to get the oil off of my hands before joining
both women in the living room.

Joanne was sitting on the couch;  Sam directed me to sit
next to her.  I did so but made sure she could see my face
scowl at her.

Jo didn't even look up at me, she just sat there.

"Jack, I need something from you;  I need you to trust me
that I won't let you be hurt.  Can you do that?"

I shrugged.  "I'll try."

"Then, I think you'd better relax ..."

This sudden shift was getting confusing to me.  I found
myself with Joanne cuddled up to me, her head on my shoulder
and my arms around her with her straddling my lap.

It was the first time in my life I'd ever been in this kind
of position and Jo was a warm lapful to be hugging (and she
was holding me as well) and I couldn't resist kissing her
forehead.  My equipment was obviously aware of this for it
was pretty hard already before I "woke up".

She looked up at me, seemingly startled, and kissed me.  We
have kissed in the past, mostly for show, so they didn't
carry much meaning.  This one did.  It wasn't a deep kiss
(I've learned a lot since) but it was something we were
sharing with each other.

When we stopped the kiss she put her head back down and
squeezed me (and I squeezed back) which felt so naturally
reassuring.

We didn't talk, we just rhythmically hugged each other and
occasionally took breaks to kiss.  This situation was so new
(and pleasant) to me that I wanted it to go on for as long
as possible.

We were interrupted by Samantha, though it didn't feel like
much of an intrusion.  "Jo, how do you feel now?"

Jo didn't shift her position, keeping her head cradled
between my chin and shoulder, when she dreamily answered
Sam's question with "Warm.  Loved.  Comfortable.  Mmmmm..."

I couldn't resist making the Mmmmmmmm sound myself in unison
with her, so we exhanged squeezes.

Sam added, "That's your husband, a man, you're cuddling with.
How do you feel about that?"

Again her reply from my chest, still in a dream-like voice,
saying "Who knew a man could feel this good?  I can feel his
excitement but he's loving me instead of just fucking me."

She squeezed me again;  I squeezed back, then kissed her on
her forehead again.  She squeezed and went Mmmmmmm which I
immediately echoed.

"Joanne, tell Jack about Steve."

I felt Jo shivver against me and try to burrow deeper in my
arms;  I assisted this, holding her tight to me and kept up
kissing her head where I could get to it and even (despite
our position on the couch) rocking her, telling her I was
there and she'd be okay.

As her shivering slowed I kept my hold on her, matching her
hold on me.

Jo's voice seemed higher, suddenly.  "Jack, I was eleven
when Steve, a boy in the neighborhood, touched me and got me
naked.  He didn't touch me where he should have, either, so
he ended up just pushing my legs apart and pushed himself in
to me.  If it wasn't for all of the vaseline he's used it
would have been worse, but ...  I hated that.  I fear men
who would get on top of me.  I never went near him again.
Please don't hate me, please don't hurt me..."

I squeezed her rhythmically this time and did a much better
job of rocking her.  She'd never revealed this to me.  As
much as I'd been angry before, my anger was redirected at
someone who'd hurt her.  I kissed her head some more, then
pulled her mouth up and we shared another kiss, though this
one got a lot deeper as she led me through relaxing the lips
and stroking the other with our tongues.

My male equipment, which had softened a bit with the story
of her rape, got hard again.  This time, as we kissed, she
was rubbing her own crotch against my hard organ, which,
added to our oral attentions, made my confusion worse.  I
didn't want to be seen as a rapist.

Sam interrupted without actually interrupting what we were
doing by saying, "Jo, what would you like to do with Jack
right now?"

Jo pulled back from the kiss but didn't stop her grinding
against me and answered, "I want to get on top of him and
fuck his brains out.  I want to be in control."

"Do you want him dressed?"

A growl from Jo, "No,  I want him naked."

With a cry of frustation Jo climbed off my lap and snarled
at me, "Get your clothes off.  Now!" as she peeled out of
her own.  I was able to tell that her panties were quite wet
as she peeled them off of herself, but I hurried to make
sure I was completely naked for her.  My maleness was fully
at attention as she completed her own disrobing and climbed
back onto my lap, my dick caught between us.

Sam's voice again, "Where did you want him?"

Jo moaned, lifted herself and tried to impale herself on me.
She was making frustrated noises when I felt a hand on my
dick and suddenly, so suddenly to me, a woman slid my full
erection into that place where I wanted it to belong.

Jo's moaning as she sank down onto my lap, impaling herself
fully on me, was not lost on me.  I was so close.  I had to
warn her, "Jo, I'm so close, I'm sorry..."

The look in her eyes seemed almost feral as she growled at
me and started to move up and down along me.  She alternated
her moans and growls but I was pretty far along when she
started to spasm on top of me.  Apparently in the throes of
an orgasm, this triggered my own climax and I fired deeply
into her.

I pulled her close to me, cradling her head again, cuddling
her nude body against mine (the skin-to-skin contact was an
incredible comfort, too) and even kissed the top of her head
as we panted in the aftermath.

She made a some Mmmmmmmm noises as we calmed;  It was a more
than just a few minutes before she spoke into my chest, "I
love you, Jack" and squeezed me.

I returned the squeeze and replied "And I definately love
you, too, Jo.  I feel so good holding you."

She nodded against my chest.  "It feels good to hold you
too, and to be held by you.  I'm sorry I hurt you.  I don't
want to hurt you ever again."

"I shouldn't have hurt you today, sweetheart.  I don't ever
want to hurt you again.  I don't want anyone hurting you."

She was silent as she squeezed me again to let me know her
comfort.

Curiously enough, my erection didn't flag much and was still
quite deeply comfortable within Jo's vagina, so, in our
efforts to rock each other, we got worked up again and we
slowly worked ourselves (well, slow for me, Jo climaxed more
than once as I worked myself up) to another mutual orgasm.
It really seemed to help that she'd start spasming just
before my dick spray-painted her cervix.  Her whole vagina
was going crazy around me and worked to suck my whole load
out and wasn't far from turning me inside out.

Again, we shared that state of nirvana after our efforts.
My penis softened and slowly fell out of Jo;  I got a bit
wet when the product of our loins dripped out of her.
Despite what felt like a huge injection of fluid, not much
dripped back onto me.

When we'd come down from the high far enough, we looked in
each other's eyes, giggled maniacally for a moment, kissed
and got up, headed for the shower.  Jo turned to Sam, saying
"We're taking a shower.  Want to join us?" as we moved out
of the living room.

I was adjusting the temperature of the water when Sam
finally arrived, quite naked.  We climbed into the shower
together and I started to wash Jo's back.

Sam interrupted, with, "Jack, not that way,  do it this
way."  And proceeded to wash my back with her arms around
me and rubbing me with her breasts.

I nodded, she stopped, "OK, Jack, show me how you'll wash
her back..."

I kissed Jo gently, wrapped my arms around her, holding the
kiss as I scrubbed her shoulders and upper back, working my
way down and back up her spine.  I then moved myself down
and knelt on the floor while washing her cheeks and working
on her legs.  I started washing the front of her legs and
started working my way back, kissing her navel, then her
nipples and back to kissing her mouth as the soapy cloth
worked on her breasts and abraded her rock-hard purple
nipples.

She was panting when I stopped kissing her and adjusted the
shower head to rinse her off.  I was also (surprisingly)
hard again, so I tried to put us back together again and she
stiffened and said "no, please, no" and I backed off quickly
and apologized.

She went into my arms and hugged me, "Oh, Jack, I'm sorry, I
can't do it that way.  All I can see is Steve..."

I rocked her under the spray until she calmed down.  " Jack,
now I want to watch you wash Sam the way you washed me."

I turned to Sam as I soaped the cloth and she came into my
arms gently and we started to share gentle kisses as I ran
the washcloth around her shoulders and back, squeezing her
buttocks at the bottom of the stroke and she pushed our
kissing to the next level.  My dick suddenly re-hardened and
was rubbing against her womanhood, between her legs.  It
felt nice but I wasn't completely comfortable given that I
wasn't married to this woman.  Jo whispered in my ear to let
Sam have as much of my attention as possible, just before I
started to work my way down Sam's front, she moaned and
wrapped her arms around me and pulled me back in to a hot
kiss, then gently pushed my shoulders down.  I gave her a
lot of little kisses down her front while washing her back.

I was kissing her pussy as I washed her legs and feet, and
worked the cloth up;  Before I could start soaping her pubes
she came on my tongue, quite loudly, and I let her cool off
a bit before rubbing her crotch with the soapy cloth and
working my way back up.  She was quite demonstrative when
I was fully standing and soaping and rubbing her breasts.
She gave me a quick kiss, rinsed the soap out, and leaned
against the shower's wall, spreading her legs and holding
out her arms to me.

I looked to Jo, who nodded and walked into Sam's arms and
realized that Jo was kneeling behind me and guiding my dick
into Sam's (very) wet and slippery vagina.

Considering that my first sexual experience had been under a
woman (who was in control of the activity) this was much
different as I stroked my member in and out of her, her
moans goading me on and, well, she came before I did, as I
felt myself spasm a dose of semen into her receptive pussy.

Now, I'm not a complete idiot.  These two must be faking it
somehow because women didn't usually reach orgasm;  I'd read
a lot about this and the woman who comes with the man is a
myth, reserved for porn stories.  Especially considering
they were lesbians.

But, man, she sure felt like she was coming, her vagina gave
my member a very deep massage.

As we held each other under the shower in the warm water, I
felt good.  Part of me was worried, though.  This was far
too good to be true.  If this was true, well, part of me was
worried about the price-tag.

When we came back to life we washed each other's hair, both
women using conditioner, and, shower over, we dried each
other as well.  This was a nice and relatively non-sexual
(and, for me, a non-threatening) activity.

We stayed naked (and Jo and Sam's insistence) and we all sat
on the couch.  I broke the silence as we cuddled, me in the
middle, "Uh, so where do we all stand?  What happened?"

Jo answered me, "I understand why I've been afraid of men
and how I can now have sex with my husband.  I still really
like women, though, and I'm not about to give them up" and
she squeezed me, adding "and I'm not about to give you up,
either."

Sam weighed in with "Jack, it was fun, once, and I did come,
there, in the shower, but you were good for me.  I might do
this again-  but it may be a while."

"I don't understand something-  you both seem to have reached
orgasm with me.  Isn't that unusual?  Especially given how
quickly I came?"

I saw a smirk on Sam's face, "Given the amount of foreplay
Jo got, and some implanted suggestions, she would've had to
be completely cold-blooded and dead to NOT climax.  It turns
out that she didn't need her drives turned up quite as high
as I did to her, though.  As for me, watching you two make
love, and, listen to me, that was making love, not simply
fucking, even I got pretty hot and ready.  When you washed
me the way we showed you, that just got me ready to come
immediately.  I really was almost there when you slid into
me, but ... I don't know how I came so hard there.  Mind
you, tongues are better, but it was still nice ..."

I nodded, "Well, it was a surprise considering what I've
read about women having a hard time coming.  It took me by
surprise and I was concerned that you both might've been
faking it for me..."

I got squeezed by both women, Jo going, "No, I didn't need
to fake it.  Hell, I don't want someone faking it for me."

Sam chimed in with "No, it's a lot of work to fake it for no
gain.  I sure as hell won't do it for a guy.  Not even one
as tolerant as you.  Jack, face it, you're not a woman.  It
was a nice romp but that's all it could be for me.  I like
you enough and trust you enough but, face it, dicks don't
really excite me," she sighed, and "I'm still too much of a
lesbian despite my willingness to consider an occasional
hetero session with a nice man."  She snuggled up closer to
me, her head on my shoulder and her breasts against my side.  

Jo grunted, and spoke again, "Well, I'll ride it now and
then but it's not the center of my sexuality.  Yet.  I could
get to like it enough to add it to my preferences..."

We cuddled some more before something hit me, right between
the eye, and my blood ran cold.  The two women were starting
to react to my goosebumps when I asked "Uhhhh... are either
of you two ovulating?"

			   Fini


-- 
Jack C Lipton  |   cupasoup@softhome.com   |  http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/CupaSoup/www/
  "If you're not confused you obviously don't understand human sexuality."

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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