Message-ID: <38372asstr$1032336604@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: X-Original-Message-ID: <20020918035325.29126.qmail@nym.alias.net> From: Crimson Dragon X-ASSTR-Original-Date: 18 Sep 2002 03:53:25 -0000 Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} {Reviews} Crimson Reviews - #10 - 17-Sep-2002 Date: Wed, 18 Sep 2002 04:10:04 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: gill-bates, dennyw Our word of the day is 'flout'. Seems that last week, a certain Dragon might have used the phrase: "flaunt the rules" deeply buried in a review somewhere. Where I come from, the phrase is quite common, and while I can see how it might have originated, and it has a certain colloquial charm, a certain curmudgeon, who shall remain nameless, but his initials are Denny Wheeler, pointed out the difference to me between 'flout' and 'flaunt'. I very much appreciated this -- I learned a great deal from our discussion and my subsequent research on the topic. And so, I foist my findings upon you. As writers we probably should be aware of the subtle nature of these two controversial words. I needed a preamble anyway. If you don't care about flout and flaunt, skip on down to the reviews. They're down there somewhere. If you've got it, flaunt it! Well, the meaning here is clear. Display wantonly. As an adult group here, we like this word. Don't we? However, when one flaunts the rules, one is not displaying them wantonly. Rather, one is ignoring the rules, one is flying the face of convention, one is blowing them the raspberry upraised middle finger happily displayed (er, flaunted!). So 'flout' seems more appropriate here. Flout the rules. 'Flout' means: to treat contemptuously. The distinct usages of flaunt seem diametrically opposed, don't they? Display wantonly. Treat contemptuously. Which is it? And why is it so common for flaunt to be used where flout fits better? Upon closer examination, my dictionary has this to say under flaunt, somewhat paraphrased and simplified: (see also at http://www.m-w.com) ---- flaunt: verb Definition 1: to display ostentatiously or impudently Definition 2: to treat contemptuously {eg. flaunted the rules -- Louis Untermeyer} Usage: Although transitive sense 2 of flaunt undoubtedly arose from confusion with flout, the contexts in which it appears cannot be called substandard. {snip some high profile usage by noted authors and speakers}. {enter curmudgeon} If you use it, however, you should be aware that many people will consider it a mistake. {/enter} Use of flout in the sense of flaunt (display ostentatiously) is also found occasionally. {"The proper pronunciation," the blonde said, flouting her refined upbringing, "is pree feeks" -- Mike Royko} ---- See also (see Tesseract, I'm not ignoring you): http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=flaunt Which says that the interchange of flaunt and flout is undesirable though common, and should be avoided when possible. So it seems that there is all sorts of confusion with the usage of these particular terms. At least I'm not the only one. Despite the confusion, the curmudgeon is correct in many ways here. As writers, we should be aware of the subtle differences between the words, and probably we should strive to use the clearer word to avoid the confusion. Flout the rules. Flaunt one's naked being. Difficult to be criticised if you choose to follow the safer path, and the writing becomes more concise and easier to follow. Having said that, it appears that in a limited sense, at least as far as Webster is concerned, the terms are somewhat interchangeable, if only on the basis that some high profile dudes made the same mistakes and the lexicon is common enough to give flaunt an official definition that validates its offbeat usage. Isn't English fun? It lives! It breathes! Argh. I swear my next story is going to be written in Swahili. Remember: Flout the rules. Flaunt yourself when dancing naked. And that's all anyone can really ask. Enough language for today. I've got a headache now, and you don't want to meet a Dragon with a headache. Trust me. The stories this week were exceptional. Thanks to all the authors, reviewed or not, that flaunt shamelessly and contribute their thoughts and their fantasies for our reading pleasure. Write 'em and let them know that, too. Cheers, - Crimson ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the wind. - Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson Review Archives: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Story Summary: Submission 113 -- celia batau (MF cons light bond) [10,10,10,10] Ananke -- trilby else (FF myth) [10,10,10,10] Three Poems by Dryad (sapphic poetry) [unrated] Hiking -- Anne (F-solo, M-solo, voy, outdoors) [7,10,8,9] Female Frolic in the Sunshine -- Courtney Sweet (FF, oral, mast, 1st) [6,8,4,4] Fantasy Train -- Mat Twassel (fantasy) [10,10,10,10] Red, Light -- Selena Jardine (flash) [10,10,10,10] The Triumph of the Muses -- Jan Vincent (ff myth) [10,10,9,9] Reviews: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Submission 113 -- celia batau (MF cons light bond) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38298 http://www.myplanet.net/pinataheart/stories.htm Abby meets Aragon in a computer science class where he helps her to pass, and becomes her friend at the same time. As they grow closer, Aragon tells her about this strange sexy pastime -- BDSM. Abby agrees to try it, and so the story goes. What's particularly special about this story is the character focus. Abby comes across -- confusion, warring desires, helplessness, vulnerable, trusting -- all the aspects that give rise to character and beauty in this kind of story. The erotic appeal is nearly undeniable, though perhaps one might have to understand the underlying bondage and control-type themes to fully appreciate what celia's done here. Overall, though, the character and story that celia is spinning draws one in and almost forces one to understand what and why Abby does as she does. I'm not sure, but I think celia was experimenting here with style and setting. In one scene, we see Abby bound to the bed, in the next her initial meeting with Aragon. Flipping back and forth could be distracting, but in this case it's not. It's really effective, and helps the piece immensely. The point of view never wavers, and provides consistency and purpose to the writing. Overall, like always, celia's writing is lyrical and draws out the best in character and setting. This story is certainly worth reading, whether or not you are into bondage and control. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ananke -- trilby else (FF myth) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/sapphic/www/stories/ananke.html http://www.asstr-mirror.org/~mcstories/Authors/trilby-else.html The Muses inspire us, but unto themselves their own lives spin around them, haunted by knowledge and rejoicing in what they sense. We follow Clio, the Muse of history, and her sisters as they swirl around the poet Sapphos and her lover Eurydice as their courage and humanity is revealed. Trilby spins a remarkable tale here, dropping us into a magical, mythical world where characters are so real it tore at me. I felt along with them, and I understood them. Trilby uses lyrical language, and subtle prose to bring us there and teach us. His characters, even the Muses, so full of life. The details in this story are clear and realistic, so finely woven into a tapestry of story. Temples. Bowers. Lyres. Poets. Touches. Love. [ "It is as important to history to know how people loved as it is to know how they hated." ] No. There isn't any technical issues in this sentence -- I merely wanted to extract it because it means so very much, and I wanted trilby to know that the words do reach out and impact. I loved this story, even though it may be hard to follow a little in the beginning -- many good stories are like that. Persevere. It is worth every second invested. At least it was to me. I didn't want to leave. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Three Poems -- Dryad (sapphic poetry) The Pantomime - http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/sapphic/www/stories/pantomime.html Resistance - http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/poetry.html#resist The Scent - http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/poetry.html#scent http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Dryad/www/ Why not? I've broken so many of my own reviewing rules that one more can't hurt. It's not like I haven't reviewed poetry before. Dryad gives us three poems here: "The Pantomime", "Resistance", and "The Scent". All are subtle views of the uncertainty of self. I normally can't understand poetry, and while I won't claim to here either, I do know that the words touched me and transported me into some understanding. They all had an underlying relevance to the Sapphic Festival, and in that light, I found them meaning even more. Personally, I liked "The Scent" the best, but I couldn't tell you why. Doesn't matter. It's poetry, and very emotive poetry at that -- that's the point, isn't it? I won't rate them, but only because rating poems doesn't really make sense, but go read them. They're good, and if even a poetry neutral Dragon can say that, then it's probably true. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hiking -- Anne (F-solo, M-solo, voy, outdoors) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38335 John's divorce causes him to work far too much. As a distraction, he likes to go hiking. This time, he finds a secluded trail and the wilderness captures him. After a disappointing destination, he discovers a hidden trail that leads him to a far more interesting view. To his surprise, he finds a young woman there sunning herself, quite naked. Quietly, he finds a safe vantage and watches her for a while. Without knowing that he is there, she masturbates, and unable to help himself, John follows suit. This is a first story by Anne, so I would encourage people to give it a try, and let her know what you thought of it. It's written in an unusual style -- third person present tense. Actually, I quite liked the attempt at that style, though I have to admit that it takes some getting used to. [ {She did not see him}. However he stoops down nonetheless. ] With this kind of style, one has to be particularly careful of tense. It is far too easy to slip, but overall, Anne manages to keep the point of view steady. The marked line should probably be: She does not see him. [ Despite the car at the trailhead{,} he encounters no other people and soon is lost in his own private reflections. ] This problem with introductory phrases and missing commas peppers the prose. Unfortunately, Anne misses most of them throughout the text and with the particular voice Anne has chosen, it makes the problem seem worse than it really is. Luckily, it's an easy problem to fix. Check any grammar site for the rules. [ She fantasizes that a spirit of the forest has mounted her and she thrills to the feeling of his imaginary cock {slidding} [sic] between the lips of her willing pussy. ] I really liked the imagery that Anne used here -- the reference to the spirit of the forest helps capture the mood and give character to the piece. Overall, a very nice first attempt at a story -- the outdoors, the feelings of freedom, the present tense voice, and the subtle character, give it a certain charm. Technical : 7 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 8 Crimson : 9 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Female Frolic in the Sunshine -- Courtney Sweet (FF, oral, mast, 1st) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38333 Our narrator recently turned eighteen, and began work for Kristin at a clothing store. Unhappy with her parent's watchful eyes, the narrator moves in with Kristin. One day in the backyard, Kristin confides that she's had female lovers before, and the story moves into the resulting female frolic in the sunshine. Overall, there isn't much more here than minimal plot and character to get these girls into their frolic, and that's fine. It's stroke fiction and it works fairly well as that. The girls have fun, and that's important too. [ We often went out night clubbing together, choosing our clothes and helping each other with {out} hair and makeup we set quite a scene when we got on the dance floor. ] Small lazy errors dot the text. Misspellings, and in this case a particularly distracting run-on. [ As the months passed{,} Kristin and I became quite close, confiding in each other our past and our dreams. ] Introductory phrases need commas, especially when those phrases run into the subject of the sentence. As a side note, if Courtney had actually told us any of Kristin's or the narrator's past or dreams, we wouldn't be left to completely guess, and that would have built character beyond the fucking. I suppose for this kind of story, character isn't really necessary, but it explains the scores below. Courtney seems to see the need for the character, else she wouldn't have mentioned the past and the dreams, but mentioning them in an almost offhand manner isn't enough to actually build those characters. But, as I said, I don't think deep character is entirely necessary for this kind of piece. I prefer the depth, but some (most?) don't really need it for strokin'. [ I touched her breast lightly and then cupped {it's} fullness, ... ] The possessive form of 'it' doesn't take an apostrophe. Isn't English fun? As stroke fiction, this story probably works wonderfully. Unfortunately, stroke fiction isn't what I review for -- I want to see their hopes and dreams as well as the sex. There isn't much more than lesbian lust and sexual satisfaction in the sunshine here, and that probably will be enough for some. Just not for me. Technical : 6 Eros : 8 Character/Plot : 4 Crimson : 4 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Fantasy Train -- Mat Twassel (fantasy) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/MariaGonzales/www/fantasy/ftrain.html Mat's driving towards a fishing trip when a train begins to pass him. A young couple are kissing in one of the windows, and that leads to his mind wandering. And if you've ever read any of Mat's wanderings, you know that it will be sexy, and vivid. [ I drove mindlessly. Music didn't matter. Numb road noise, the dull moan of a man-made sea, settled about me, and I stared straight ahead and thought of nothing. ] Doesn't that say it all? Character, setting, mood. All in three short sentences. I liked the way Mat managed to segue it all together with a ongoing subtlety. I was a little confused by the appearance of Peter -- I thought it was a solitary fishing trip. And I was left with the unsettled feeling that I didn't know what had sparked this story and fantasy, and that it was somehow important -- at least to Mat. But perhaps I was supposed to feel that way? Neither issue detracts from the story, but that's how I felt when all was said and done. Overall, Fantasy Train is a short, sexy, wonderfully vivid piece of writing. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Red, Light -- Selena Jardine (flash) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38326 http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Selena_Jardine/www/ Phillip works for Grandma's Cookies, and the axeman cometh. All are nervous, but for Phillip. However, what appears at his office door is a vision quite unlike most corporate axemen. This vision is dressed in red, the image undeniable. She sits on his desk, and tempts him. I must admit, this was a really interesting take on a certain fairy tale. It's quick, and it's full of life and character. Enjoy. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Triumph of the Muses -- Jan Vincent (ff myth) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/j/wwwan123/triumph.html http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/j/wwwan123/ The nine Muses are stranded, courtesy of Zeus finding out about a rather serious infidelity, on a desert island. Jan tells the tale of how they cope with their banishment, finding love, and other things along the way. Overall, The Triumph of the Muses was a fun piece. Each subsection is told from the point of view of a different Muse. This could have spelled disaster as each would have to have a distinct personality and the reader would need to switch at each section break. Jan carries it off, but because each subsection was necessarily short, perhaps the depth of their character didn't quite shine through as much as a different style might have. Surprisingly, though, Jan manages to hold the story together in a comprehensive way, and it isn't difficult to follow. There are a few very minor consistency issues, but nothing worth mentioning here. A nice story of the Muses, and their trials and eventual triumphs. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 9 Crimson : 9 -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderator: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}| |Archive at Hosted by | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+