Message-ID: <38011asstr$1030331403@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: X-Original-Path: news.supernews.com!not-for-mail From: Peaches and Cream X-Original-Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Sun, 25 Aug 2002 19:53:15 -0400 Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Peaches and Cream Reviews: #24 Date: Sun, 25 Aug 2002 23:10:03 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: gill-bates, kelly Hi! We're Peaches & Cream. We're just two ordinary Joes who like reading and romance. Recently, there was a Summer Solstice Romance Festival on ASSM, and it caught our attention. We started discussing the stories and our reviews were born. Our format is simple: one of us starts the review, the other chimes in, and then the starter finishes it off. Because this is all about romance, we'll be scoring with 0-5 kisses. We're changing our format to include more than one story per issue. There is a website devoted to the festival where you can find all the stories we will review. http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/RomFest *** Peaches & Cream Reviews: #24 What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love! - Victor Hugo - Stories to be reviewed: The Longest Light/The Shortest Night by Uther Pendragon To Love Doggedly by Foxbat ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Longest Light by Uther Pendragon (rom Mf pett oral) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36907 And The Shortest Night by Uther Pendragon (Mf rom 1st) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36908 *** Peaches: Hal and Lauren spend the night in a tent while his brother, Lance and Lauren's friend, Samantha, spend the night at a hotel. The Longest Light follows Hal and Lauren. Hal and Lauren set up camp and eventually settle into the tent. What follows is very gentle, foreplay and eventually oral sex. I felt a little bogged down with the repeated description of Hal kissing Lauren's breasts. This may be true to life, but the story would benefit by shortening this scene. The other issue I have relates to the fact that through the story it *feels* like Hal and Lauren are only thrown together because they are doing favors for Lance and Samantha. When suddenly, two thirds in, they are professing their love for one another. It jarred. Maybe if we see more evidence of this love earlier on in the story, it wouldn't come out of the blue and seem unreal. The author takes great pains in relaying this in real terms, details like, what to do with the toilet paper or how do you eat something that's been in the bottom of a sleeping bag. It seems a shame to lose sight of that nice reality when they say, I love you. A minor complaint: With four character names to learn, I found it distracting for Hal to be called Harold as well. *** The Shortest Night follows Lance and Samantha to a hotel. Lance and Samantha are a couple. They've been a couple and they've made plans that tonight is going to be *the* night. They're in love. He's going off to college while she still has a year of High School left (hence the code Mf). This story is more poignant and gives you a lot more to think about. Are they both virgins? What does this night mean for their relationship? Does it seal the relationship or does it mark the beginning of the end? These are questions the reader gets to decide. It makes for some interesting reading. These two stories stand alone fine, but when read together, they bring a lot more depth to how each brother spent the night. 3.5 combined kisses *** Cream: I really think these stories should be combined or at the very least connected, with "The Longest Light" preceding "The Shortest Night." The contrasts are vital. I agree that "The Shortest Night" is more interesting, more poignant; in some ways it very well might be the saddest story we've read so far. As for "The Longest Light," I didn't at all get the feeling that Hal and Lauren were just doing the favor. What I didn't quite understand was why the favor needed doing at all. I also didn't understand why both couples couldn't stay up on the mountain. That might have added some interesting flavors. And how come the "wrong" couple ends up in the romantic spot? There's a ton of really good below the surface stuff in these stories, but maybe there's a bit too much on and above the surface. A lot of the description (sexual and otherwise) seems mechanical. Apt at times, other times it just seems to go on and on. I bet this story would be twice as good if it were half as long. 3.75 kisses *** Peaches: I guess in the minds of some, a clandestine night spent in a hotel room is more romantic then a night spent on top of a mountain on the night of the summer solstice. These people are all at McDonald's this morning instead of sitting by an early morning campfire. But I like that irony of these stories. The planned night with Lance is not nearly as romantic or satisfying as the night with Hal. The musician is not nearly as romantic as the engineer. These are nice ironies, but only if you read the stories together. *** Peaches: 3.5 kisses Cream: 3.75 kisses ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To Love Doggedly by Foxbat (mf rom) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/foxbat/www/lovedoggedly.txt *** Cream: The writing's a little messy in places, but the pace is relentless--almost non-stop fuck action. Given the title, I don' t think it's too hard to see where this is going, where it might end. It's often very clever but not too clever. Hard for me to savor the tricks and teases or even the sex, though, so vital was it for me to get to the end. So that's the trouble--this story is mostly about the tricking and teasing, and in the end it's not quite as satisfying as I think it should have been. 3.5 sloppy kisses *** Peaches: It's not in the codes, but it is in the title and the disclaimer. And there are plenty of hints along the way as to who Melissa's lover actually is. Oddly enough, knowing the final outcome didn't bother me nearly as much as the repeated use of "twat." This is a story for a certain few. I'm not one of them. And yet, change a character and a few words and it might have potential to be erotic. 2 kisses *** Cream: Is it because "twat" is a turn-off word for you, Peaches? Kind of interesting the way certain words work. Actually "twat" is used only twice in the story. Synonyms such as cunt and pussy are used with much greater frequency--five and three times respectfully. Er, I mean respectively. I don't think the word choice was intended to be degrading to the character. >Reaching down with her hands she pressed his head into her crotch, >as he continued to lick and slurp, tonguing her like there was something >especially tasty hidden in her twat. >Lying on top of her, completely spend, he breathed >slowly and waited for his cock to deflate and slip out of her twat. So if we switch the twat to some other sex word, say peach or plum or honeypot, would that earn the tale an extra kiss or two? Words are so slippery! I'm not a big fan of twat, either, but I thought it fitting the way it was used in this story. No, Peaches, what might have gained the story an extra kiss from me would have been a lover we didn't expect. *** Peaches: 2 kisses Cream: 3.5 sloppy kisses -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderator: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}| |Archive at Hosted by | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+