Message-ID: <37841asstr$1029197404@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: X-Original-Path: news.supernews.com!not-for-mail From: Peaches and Cream X-Original-Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Mon, 12 Aug 2002 15:25:37 -0400 Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Peaches and Cream Reviews #12 Date: Mon, 12 Aug 2002 20:10:04 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: kelly, gill-bates, newsman Hi! We're Peaches & Cream. We're just two ordinary Joes who like reading and romance. Recently, there was a Summer Solstice Romance Festival on ASSM, and it caught our attention. We started discussing the stories and our reviews were born. Our format is simple: one of us starts the review, the other chimes in, and then the starter finishes it off. Because this is all about romance, we'll be scoring with 0-5 kisses. We're changing our format to include more than one story per issue. There is a website devoted to the festival where you can find all the stories we will review. http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/RomFest Peaches & Cream Reviews #12 Romance, like the rabbit at the dog track, is the elusive, fake, and never attained reward which, for the benefit and amusement of our masters, keeps us running and thinking in safe circles. --Beverly Jones (b. 1927), U.S. feminist writer *** Stories to be Reviewed: Junk Bonds by Selena Jardine Obsession by Desdmona Sunspots by celia batau *** Junk Bonds by Selena Jardine (MF rom) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36955 Peaches: I think this very short Flash (298 words) does a fantastic job of showing us human nature without saying it. A woman has an affair and believes her husband cannot forgive her. When trust is broken in a relationship, the one who has broken the trust is more often than not the one who has the most trouble trusting again. Maybe it's nature's way of making us remember our actions and what they cost. The description of the junk drawer may have been my favorite part. I give this story 4.8 kisses *** Cream: What I find especially amazing is the perfect use of symbols. The junk drawer enumeration barely scratches the surface: >He guides her back into the kitchen and shows >her the contents of the drawer. Partly-used birthday >candles. Batteries at least ten years old. Hair >elastics for daughters who left the house eight years >ago. Doll's shoes, scotch tape, the forgotten little >wheels off things. My feeling at the story's end, for better or for worse, is that this marriage may continue, but like most junk bonds it will never be redeemed. Oh, my favorite part was the wedding ring worn on a string around his neck clunking her forehead when they fucked. 4.8 kisses. If the story had made me "sigh" at the end, I might have given it 5. *** Peaches: Redeemable junk bonds! I didn't get the connection. Thanks for hitting me over the head with that one. You're absolutely right! The story is filled with perfect symbols--his wedding ring standing for her vows, the exact opposite views of what the junk in the drawer means, and others that I probably shouldn't mention. It's a well thought out story, wrought with great symbolism. A must read! I have to amend my score. 5 kisses! *** Peaches: 5 kisses Cream: 4.8 kisses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Obsession by Desdmona http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/36966 Cream: A man eats his linguine and watches the sunset through the restaurant window. As the man dines he takes in the sensuous details of his surroundings. We take in the sensuous details of the story: >Linguine and shrimp. A well-placed napkin. Her >daring hand. A pedaled zipper. "Can you eat while >I play?" she purred, her tongue slithering across >her bottom lip, paving the way for a throaty moan. >Her pupils dilated as her slim fingers probed to >the meat of him. She leaned in to whisper, "Can >you, darling?" We learn that the man has failed his lover's tests in the past. Those failures are some of my favorite parts of a story brimming with favorite parts: >.. lying nude on blacktop in the heat of the >day, convincing a third to join their party of >two, or nibbling the nipple of her bared suntan >breast in line at the deli. Always in a crowd. >Always in the open. These failures are to the reader as sensuous as any success. So, is the man going to fail again? How can we measure success? This is a poignant and completely successful story of a man caught in a collision of romantic obsessions. I measure it 4.8 kisses. It's not that I've deducted two tenths of a kiss. Always good to leave a little something on the plate. *** Peaches: There are details in this story that really paint a setting: purple sunsets, white-hot beach of the panhandle, ocean breeze, and hibiscus. I could almost smell the air. It's difficult to bring in so much detail (combined with the sensuous details you've already mentioned, Cream) in a Flash story, and still have a complete story. I think this story succeeds. I think the ending where he finally is able to pass her test (masturbate under the hidden napkin, but finish his meal before coming) is sad. She's already gone and he's still trying. I give it 4 kisses. *** Cream: It is sad, but maybe this act will take him over the hurdle and he'll be able to move on. One can hope so. *** Peaches: 4 kisses Cream: 4.8 kisses ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunspots by celia batau (FF rom) Peaches: This is a very short, lyrical story that has two women under a blanket, in summer grass, with a "hot, yellow sun" above them. The women join in orgasm. It's beautifully done. I especially like how this phrase, "Alma blinked as Carla pulled the blanket over them, making a universe of two" sets up the last line. There are many phrases in such a short story that can really make me "sigh" For instance, "...a thousand intimate gestures wrapped up in a hundred whispered words." Are you sighing yet, Cream? I give this story 4.8 kisses. I had a little confusion with the names and the action of each or it would have been 5. Cream: This story didn't do much for me the first time I read it, and after reading your review, my first thought was that of all the stories we've reviewed so far, here would be our greatest difference in kisses. But knowing how good a reader you are, Peaches, I thought I'd better give "Sunspots" another chance, just to make sure. This time I read it as if it were a poem, and that has made all the difference. Even the shape of "sunspots" is poetic: round and fuzzy, like a fat ball of sun, or like bodies balled together under a blanket. Lots of "ing" words mimic the in-place motion, lots of strong verbs to get them there: intertwined, pressed, pulled, touched, slid, tugged, infused. Then there's "blinked," an important verb for the way it illuminates the inner nature of this connection: how quickly it occurs, how it isn't quite what Alma may have expected, but it's clearly what she desires: to be under the blanket with Carla. Then there's the passage you like: a thousand intimate gestures wrapped up in a hundred whispered words: We don't see each sunbeam in this sunshine anymore than we see each shiver in the lovers' embrace but we get the proper feel of all of them. We sense what being under the blanket is like. Furthermore, I think the little confusion over the names and action is apt, it's in a way at the heart of what's going on here. The finish of the poem--yes, I'm calling it a poem--is interesting for the way language turns people into pure chemistry and physics and mathematics and yet lets us see that this fusion is not only about bodies but about the passion of souls and the coming together of beings. I guess my reaction shows how much can change in a moment or in a second reading. No doubt if I'd read some of the other stories again I'd see them in a different light and appreciate them more. I'm glad you made me give sunspots a second chance, Peaches. Four kisses for it and five for you! (And I'm sure I've underrated you both!) Peaches: You did some major analyzing, Cream. Some very good analyzing. I hadn't looked at this story in quite the same way. You've brought new light to it, too. One of the things that I enjoyed is the pacing and the flow of words, one sentence into the next, like a slow build up to the sun. The sun not only the hot ball above them, but also the symbol of energy, of orgasm in them. A poem? Probably. Definitely poetic! *** Peaches: 4.8 kisses Cream: 4.0 kisses -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderator: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d, look for subject {ASSD}| |Archive at Hosted by | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+