Message-ID: <34628asstr$1010657420@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: From: Taintedlime@aol.com X-Original-Message-ID: <37.20e0d23e.296dddbd@aol.com> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-ASSTR-Arrival-Date: Wed, 9 Jan 2002 12:54:05 EST Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Tainted Lime Reviews #4 Date: Thu, 10 Jan 2002 05:10:20 -0500 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: gill-bates, kelly, dennyw Tainted Lime Reviews Issue #4 I choose stories to review by scanning the subject lines in alt.sex.stories.moderated. If you want a story reviewed, you must post it to ASSM. I will not accept stories for review via email. --- Stories reviewed in this issue: Healer, by Sven the Elder (***) Ghosts, by Banshee (**) Goodnight, Irene, by Katherine T. (****) It Gets Funnier Every Time I Hear It, by Dancer (***) Sex Kitten, by Knickers (****) --- NEW - 'Healer' by Sven the Elder MF ROM CONS By Sven the Elder This story has a lot going for it. First, there is the main character, Sven, a fifty-year-old man with a very bad back. He's a pleasant chap with an interesting story-telling voice. After fixing some network wiring problem in Maggie's office, he develops a slight twitch in his back. Fortunately for Sven, Maggie is a "healer." I'm not quite sure what a healer is, but I gather it is a kind of mystical, holistic chiropractor. With a few well-aimed touches, his twitch is cured. She then senses Sven's more severe back injury, and she invites him over to her house for, um, more intensive therapy. This story is marred by awkward word choices and many grammar mistakes. Perhaps there is a regional dialect at work here that I did not recognize, but I frequently found myself re-reading sentences in an attempt to parse out the meaning. The problems iron themselves out by the time Maggie wraps her lips around Sven's raging hard-on, but I finished the story feeling the disappointment of an unfulfilled promise. This could have been an extraordinarily good story with a lot more polish. But it's still a pleasant story about pleasant people having a pleasant time together. Rating: *** --- Ghosts By Banshee <11111macgregor42@1111hotmail.com> This story is not coded, but it contains a bunch of stuff. Oral, anal, MF, MM, FF. The ghost in this story is turning the inhabitants of a house into sex-obsessed sluts. When the narrator housesits for a couple weeks, he is swept along too. The more he falls under the ghost's spell, the more real the ghost becomes. Eventually, the ghost is complete and solid, and then the isolated sexual incidents come together into a wild orgy. This story suffered from a lack of blank lines between paragraphs, which made it hard to read. It was also littered with spelling and grammar mistakes, and the setting and characters were not introduced very well. In a lot of ways, this story is a mess. But the plot is nice, and sex has a kinky edge to it that I think many readers will enjoy, and the author shows a lot of enthusiasm for his subject. But it needs a major overhaul before it can become the best story it could be. Rating: ** --- Goodnight, Irene (FF, lesbian) (Dedicated to Jennifer H.) (Katherine T.) By Katherine T. "Goodnight, Irene" is about a young butch dyke who has a soft spot in her ... in her heart ... for older women. She begins to drool when she meets up with Irene on the rooftop of her apartment building. Irene invites her down for a drink, and Irene proves she is chock full of surprises. This story has some great lesbian sex in it, a kinky edge that, in this case, works especially well with the older participant. Like "Meredith," the Katherine T. story I reviewed earlier this month, "Goodnight, Irene" sometimes gets bogged down in the internal thoughts of the narrator, but I did not find the shift away from the action as annoying in this story. If you don't think a story about a fifty-year-old woman can turn you on, you haven't read this story. Rating: **** --- "It Gets Funnier Every Time I Hear It"[Dancer] (MF pett humor) By Dancer This story begins with a false statement about the way the stock market works, but don't worry - it's just part of the story's disclaimer. There are no major economic mistakes in the main part of the story. Instead we have a woman who has the hots for a blonde, buff, and brainy Australian hunk with a pierced lower lip. She woos him with dead baby jokes and promises of The Crocodile Hunter on the tube. I don't know about you, but if a woman told me a dead baby joke, I'd be all over her before you could say "pitchfork." At one point in the story, the bloke with the hairy chest claims he likes Nutella, which proves conclusively that absolutely anything can happen in fiction. Several tasteless jokes can be found here, and the fucking is nicely frenzied. One problem I had with the story came in the opening paragraphs. In ASSM, you see a lot of bad descriptions of the blonde fantasy babe with 36DD tits; this story suffers the same problem with the sexes reversed. And there are several details along the way that seem irrelevant to the story. They didn't get in the way of my enjoyment too much, but I think the story could have been made shorter without harming the plot or characters. If you like sick jokes but haven't voraciously sought them out in a while, you'll probably love this story. Rating: *** --- Sex Kitten (A Nicola Adventure) {Knickers} (Ffff exhib) By Knickers We have a lot of Australians in stories this week. This story is part of a series about an Australian model who comes to Hollywood to become a star, but things don't go quite the way she planned. In this episode, Nicola has the difficult task of chaperoning "Sex Kitten," a teenage girl band from England. When Nicola picks them up at LAX, the girls immediately ask to be taken to a strip club. Reluctantly, Nicola agrees. Nicola agrees reluctantly a lot in this story. She reluctantly agrees to dance for the girls at the tittie bar, she reluctantly agrees to get in the hot tub with them at the hotel, she reluctantly agrees to do a nude shower scene for Sex Kitten's video, she reluctantly agrees to give up her vow of chastity ... What we have here is a lot of nubile young women getting naked in public. All the exhibitionism makes them horny, and they go back to their hotel room and pleasure each other as only a nympho girl band and a reluctant Australian model can. This story doesn't aspire to anything other than it is: fantasy stroke material. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and I had a lot of fun following the ridiculous exploits of poor, naked Nicola. Rating: **** -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderator: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Archive: Hosted by Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository | |, an entity supported entirely by donations. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+