Message-ID: <33706asstr$1006899005@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: X-Original-Message-ID: <20011127194836.32281.qmail@ninelives.chek.com> From: "Karen Souleman" X-ASSTR-Arrival-Date: 27 Nov 2001 19:48:36 -0000 Subject: {ASSM} Karen 11 - Punishment Date: Tue, 27 Nov 2001 17:10:05 -0500 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: dennyw, gill-bates KAREN 10 - Punishment Hi. My name is Karen Souleman. I am (now) 29 years old. This is the eleventh chapter of my life story. In this chapter I am 12 years old (13 the next month). I am living with my Aunt Gail, Uncle Paul and Cousin Rae (4). Leslie (8) is also living with us. I met Leslie when we were both in The Beeches, a children's home. I took her place for a filmed beating and rape. Following our escape from the Beeches, Leslie's Dad asked me to look after her for him as he wasn't able to and Leslie's mother was in prison. I was very happy to do so for him. Leslie and I had grown to love each other. Following my mother's death, I was stunned to learn that I was the heiress to a 20 million fortune. How we had this money when my mother and I lived in virtual poverty I did not yet know. This chapter continues the story started in chapters 9 and 10. All of the Karen chapters, and my other stories, can be found at www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/raven_soule/www/ I hope that you enjoy this chapter. Love, Karen -------------------------------------------------- Totally Amazing Search Results - Just C4 Yourself! http://www.C4.com - Total Search Technology <1st attachment, "KAREN 11.txt" begin> KAREN 11 - PUNISHMENT "Jane wants to press charges against you," Gail said, tears falling freely again. "I'm so sorry my precious, she says she wants you in prison." She broke down sobbing. I didn't know what to do, what to say. Leslie came to my side and I lay my arm around her shoulders. We looked at each other. No one was going to split us up, not now. Eye to eye, we made a silent pact. We would do anything to stay together. Leslie and I lay in my bed. Naked we cuddled each other, both drawing warmth and comfort from the other. Neither of us spoke, there was no need. Slowly we drifted into sleep. Our plans made, tomorrow we had work to do. We had waited for three days now. Waiting for the doorbell to ring and a policeman to ask for me; for a social worker to take me back, back to hell -The Beeches. Leslie and I were the only calm ones. Rae had started wetting her bed. She was withdrawing into herself, somehow convinced that this was her fault. Gail's and Paul's nerves were worn ragged. For the first time ever I saw Paul stop what he was doing and break down crying. This continuing stress was too much for him. I know how deeply he loves me. I doubt that Gail and Paul knew about it, but Leslie and I had already made our plans. I had withdrawn another 15,000 from my bank (Nigel had signed for it). Our backpacks were packed and hidden in a rented garage two miles from the house. If the time came for us to leave we would disappear out of my bedroom window, vanish into the housing estate behind ours. Then just vanish. My money would keep us safe for a good while. We would not be parted. Leslie was watching out of her bedroom window when she called me. A car had pulled up outside our house; a man and woman got out. They stood by their car waiting for something. Then I saw a familiar car arrive: Jeff's car. Leslie's Dad was here as well. How did he know there was trouble? The answer was obvious: Nigel. We went downstairs; Paul was at the open door. Jeff came in and hugged Leslie. He came to me. "We need to talk, you and me," he said. I would have been concerned, or even worried, but his craggy face eased into a smile and he caressed my cheek so, so gently. "Later," he continued. "Okay." It was all I could do not to fall into his arms crying. Jane and Mike entered the house. She looked at me, daggers flying from her eyes. I knew the type of woman. 'This trouble is your fault, my son wouldn't do such a thing, and he told me he didn't do it. It ALL your fault, my baby is too good to do anything naughty.' I knew the type all right. Her type had got me into trouble with my mum so many times before. Trouble that THEIR kids had done, or started. My mum always believed them, though. I was always the naughty one. How Jeff had persuaded them to come here today, I do not know. I followed Paul and Gail into the front room, Leslie holding my hand. I pulled her behind me. My body language spoke volumes: you want Leslie, you've got to come through me first! Jeff stood up and faced the assembly. He turned to Jane. "Your son tried to sexually assault Leslie," he pointed towards her, "and Karen knifed him in the arm." "She could have killed him, stabbing him like that. That vicious bitch needs locking up," Jane screamed. I stood my ground. She didn't even know what had happened. "Leslie, what happened?" Jeff asked. "We were playing sex in Karen's bedroom. Karen and Rae were together and I was playing with myself when Alex came in and saw us. He dropped his trousers and pants and tried to put his penis into my mouth. He didn't even ask me if he could. I didn't want him to and I screamed for mum. Mum threw her knife into his arm, and then Gail took him away." Leslie backed further behind me as she saw the anger on Jane's face. Jane leaned forward. "You told me Karen had hurt my baby. What's this about your mum throwing the knife? Or is this all a pack of lies?" "SHE IS MY MUM! Karen is my mum." Leslie's scream caught us all off guard. "How could she throw a knife like that?" Jane yelled back. Mike gently pulled her back onto the settee. I think he was beginning to see the truth of what had happened. Jeff looked up at Nigel who was standing quietly in the corner of the room. "Mr. Sanderson, Mrs. Watkins, Mr. Watkins," Nigel began. Always polite and formal Nigel. "I spoke with Karen that evening, after the incident. She showed me her skill with her knife. She threw it into the bull's eye of a dart board from a distance of twenty-two feet. I measured the distance myself. I believe, that had she wished, she could have inflicted any injury she wanted on Alex, including killing him, IF she had wanted to. I feel that she acted with remarkable self-restraint considering the things that these two girls, sorry, young ladies, have been through together." This was the longest single speech that I had ever heard Nigel make. I was shocked. "What things could these two children have been through then?" barked Jane. "Broke their nails together have they? Laddered their tights? Been late for school together? Don't treat me as though I was stupid." Gail nearly hit her. I could see it in her body, her face. Nigel took half a step forward, a dramatic outburst from the normally tightly controlled man. A very surprised Jeff held up his hand. "We will see what they have been through together. I received this tape yesterday. I haven't watched it yet. It was made when they shared a room in The Beeches, a children's home in the midlands. "Wasn't that the one . . ." started Mike. "Yes," said Jeff. "It was." Mike looked at me strangely. Jeff inserted the tape and started it playing. "Apparently," he said, "Leslie was to be the star of this film. Karen told Leslie to go and hide, she would do it." They turned toward the TV set. A young girl appeared on the screen, it was me[PJ1]; I was masturbating. You could see right into my vagina. I knew this film. It was the beating, which had almost killed me. I didn't want to watch it. "I'm going." I said. "I'll be in the kitchen." "Why," said Jane nastily, "don't you like to watch yourself wank?" Without a backward glance Leslie and I left. We had a drink and a sandwich; we talked about Bloody Beeches. We waited Half and hour later the front room door burst open. Jane stumbled out, she fell to the floor. On her hands and knees she started crawling out of the room. She stopped and vomited onto the floor. Almost uncaring, Jeff and Nigel lifted her to her feet and took her back. "You've got a film to watch." Nigel said. "Nooooo. . . " Her voice was cut off as the door shut. Leslie and I looked at each other. "Bet it's your acting she doesn't like," said Leslie, with a nasty grin on her face. "Nah, I think it was the makeup. I knew I had far too much makeup on," I replied. We burst out laughing. W W We could, we had lived through this hell, and we had earned the right to laugh at these jokes. We cleaned up the mess in the hall before it could stain the carpet. Two o'clock came and went. So did three o'clock. Four o'clock arrived; the door opened. Mike helped Jane out into the hall, both pale and drawn. Jane looked around the floor, obviously seeking her mess, finding nothing. She looked up and saw me. "How can you ever forgive me?" she asked. "Send Alex back here for his punishment," I answered. "What? What are you going to do to him?" she asked. Frightened now, after all, she was still a mother who loved her son. Nevertheless, I was a mother protecting my daughter. "Twelve strokes with a cane." "Okay," she said quietly. "On his naked backside," I added. She nodded. Mike and Jane left. Nigel drove, neither of them was in any state to drive. Hand in hand, Leslie and I went back into the front room. The room reeked. There were pools of vomit almost everywhere. Jeff, sat on the settee, looked up. He was so pale and seemed to have aged twenty years. "Did you know what he was going to do," he hesitated, "when you sent Leslie away?" I nodded. There was nothing else to say. Gail and Paul came over and hugged Leslie and me. Their tears wet our heads. They were too shocked for words. Hugs would do for now. We let them cry until the stresses of the last few days eased a little. I knew we would love each other tonight and that would help as well. Gail and Paul left the room to make something to eat, though no one felt much like food. The routine though, that was important: keep things going normally. Leslie and I faced Jeff. He wanted to speak to me. I knew it was about my presumption to say I was Leslie's Mum. I wondered if he was angry. I liked Jeff. I didn't want to upset him. However, I HAD to stand by Leslie. I could do nothing else. Squaring my shoulders I faced him, ready, I hoped, for anything. Jeff had been studying me as he sat there. "I wanted to speak to you because I had heard that you were calling yourself Leslie's mum. I was actually surprised that Nigel thought this was a good thing." He paused looking at the both of us. Hand in hand, we stood together. "I wanted to check you out again, because Leslie means everything to me. I'm breaking a court order to be here because I love her so much." That surprised us. "Yes," he said, "there is a court injunction to prevent me having anything to do with Leslie. The police would just love to lock me up, even for something as trivial as this." He paused again. "I wanted to see if this slip of a girl whom my daughter seems so impressed by, was good enough to be her mum. Karen, you have survived an attack from one of the worst murdering perverts this country has known, willingly, just to protect Leslie. You instinctively defended her when she called help. You're now ready to stand against me if necessary. And I actually wondered if you were good enough for her." Again we waited. "What a fucking stupid question!" We jumped, surprised by his vehemence. "I saw your strength when we first met. I just didn't believe it possible from such a young girl." He shook his head. "Karen, I would be grateful if you would be Leslie's mother. I would beg on my knees for you to be her mother. Look after her for me. Love her and protect her. She's everything to me." He looked into my eyes, waiting for my answer. "I'll do my best. I love her. I want her to be mine," I said. I didn't know what else to say. Leslie's hand squeezed mine. "She is yours. You've paid for her, almost paid with your life. No one can ask for more. If you do your best then I'll have nothing to worry about at all. I'm sure that your best is good enough for anyone." He stood up and kissed my forehead. I leaned forward and kissed him properly. He responded to me and, for a few moments, our tongues playing chase. Breaking away from me, he looked at Leslie a little sheepishly. "I don't usually kiss like that when children are around," he said. "You should," Leslie replied, "otherwise how am I gonna learn how to treat my lover? Anyway, my dad's gotta kiss my mum sometimes." Grinning, she looked at both of us. Jeff looked at me and winked. "I hate smart-arsed kids," he said. I nodded. "Don't worry," I said, "I'll beat it out of her." "Oh goody, a beating!" Leslie cried. "Just let me get undressed first! Are you gonna tie me to the bed? Shall I get the bananas and whipped cream?" "Smart-arsed kids," he and I said together, laughing. Paul joined me as I said goodbye to Jeff. My arm through his as we watched Jeff drive away. With a sigh, we closed the door and went into the kitchen. Gail was standing by the sink, looking out of the kitchen window. Rae sat on the draining board by her side. Hearing us enter Gail lifted her down to the floor. Gail held open her arms toward me, inviting me. Gladly I entered her arms. We held each other tightly for so long. "When I found you in The Beeches," I knew that you had been hurt so badly. I didn't realize just what he'd done to you my precious." Again, her tears wet my head. "Yes, he hurt me, but you came and saved me. Saved Leslie and me. I've not thanked you yet. I don't know how too. How do you thank someone for saving your life?" I looked into her eyes; mine too were filled with tears. "You've paid me back already, my angel. When you first smiled at me in the hospital; that was all the payment I've ever wanted. To know you were getting better. That's all I wanted; I've got that." She smiled at me, some colour in her cheeks at last. Paul came and joined our group hug. Rae, though, stood to our side. Gail and I knelt down to her. "What's wrong, dearest?" Gail asked. Rae's mumbled reply was inaudible. "Pardon, my darling." Gail looked so concerned, worried. "Does Karen still love me after all the trouble I caused?" She couldn't look at me, tears appearing from her half shut eyes. Then a puddle grew between her legs as she wet herself again. The poor darling was beside herself with guilt. I picked her up and held her tightly against me, oblivious of the warm urine still flowing freely from her, soaking me. "Darling, I've never stopped loving you. I love you more today than I did yesterday; tomorrow I'll love you even more." I kissed her on the lips. She held my head and tried to kiss me properly. Fumbling with our noses, unsure what to do with her tongue. I allowed my tongue to part her lips and gently brush against her teeth, her tongue. Our tongues played together for a moment then we parted. I licked her tears away and dried her face with my hair. Looking down I saw the mess we were both in. I undressed and wiped myself dry with my T- shirt. Throwing my clothes into the laundry basket, I turned to Rae. She held her arms up for me to undress her. Soon she was as naked as I[PJ2], and her clothes joined mine in the wash basket. "Will you be doing sex with mummy and daddy tonight?" she asked me. "Would you like to play sex with me then?" I asked her, though I could see the answer in her eyes. "Yes." He quiet reply changed my plans for this evening. "Will you do something for me first, though?" I asked her. Her eyes lit up, something to do for Karen! "Will you talk to mummy and daddy about playing sex with me?" She nodded enthusiastically. I turned to Gail. "Tomorrow, my precious, tomorrow," Gail said. Her eyes held the promise. I felt warm all over. Tomorrow it would be. Leslie and I went up to the bathroom. I adjusted the shower as she undressed. Together we entered the cubical. As I washed her down Leslie looked at me. "You're too soft for your own good," she told me. "We all know that you wanted to make love with Gail and Paul tonight, but you'll spend the night with Rae instead, just because she asked you to. Too soft by half." I smacked her bum. I enjoyed it so much I smacked it again. Leslie looked at me. "You enjoyed that!" she accused me. I nodded. "Good," she said, sticking her bum out, "do it again." This time I reached around her chest to steady her. Holding tightly on what would one day be her right breast, I looked at her wet backside. She was totally open to me, her legs parted and back arched to present herself to me so that I could smack her. I raised my hand and brought it down. SMACK. "Oh yeah. That was a hard smack wasn't it? Umm I nearly felt that," she goaded. I raised my hand again and stopped. I lifted her up to face me. "I don't want to hurt you. I want to love you." I said. Leslie came to me, her arms going round my waist and her head lying against my breasts. "Too soft by half. Maybe that's why I love you so much." She kissed my nipple. I leant down and offered her my lips to kiss. She did, it was wonderful. Her soft gentle lips, her warm probing tongue, her total concentration on the kiss. She gave all of herself when she kissed. There was nothing else that mattered, only the kiss. Kissing Leslie made me so wet. A small hand slipped between my legs, parting my nether lips. Entering me, fucking me. Leslie pulled back slightly. "I want to watch you," she said when I looked quizzically ather. Her thumb found my clitoris, hiding under its hood. Then teased the hard nubbin. "Ohhh . . ." I groaned, leaning more on her shoulders, parting my legs wider. Wanting her more and more. "Shush, darling, shush," she murmured, driving her teasing fingers faster and faster in my sensitive cunt, on my throbbing clit. I threw my head back as her tiny hand lifted me heavenward. Her fingers found my nipple and twisted it almost savagely. "Aahhh . . . " Senseless noises escaped from my open mouth. I was now beyond words, longing for my release. Teased to the brink and held there, my juices running down my legs - almost faster than the shower water. Closer and closer, then backing away; Leslie played me like an instrument, an instrument on which she was a grand master. "Cum for me, dearest Mother. Soak my hand with your love, my Darling." She gently encouraged me to my release. Her hands and fingers guiding and controlling me. A final pinch and twist of my clit and nipple, together for once. It shot me over the edge, I was in space, in heaven, beyond the here and now. My tormented body exploded and fired pleasure through every fibre of my being. She kept her hands moving, bringing me back to earth gently, not robbing me of her love abruptly as most men do. Caring for my supersensitive skin, my cunt and my breast. Lowering me back to earth, still loving me. "That was a little present for being you," she [PJ3]said. "You do look so beautiful when you cum. I do wish you'd believe me." "She does look beautiful, doesn't she Rae?" said Paul, from outside the shower. Surprised, we both turned and saw Paul with a still-naked Rae in his arms, watching us. "She glows when she cums. It is a privilege to see it." Paul looked at his daughter. "If you let Karen teach you how to love, then, one day, you'll give your own lover everything they could ask for." Rae, still looking at me, nodded. Paul lowered her to the floor and kissed her head. "Rae has told us why she wants to play sex with you Karen, and we have agreed that she can if she wants to." He guided her into the shower and let Leslie out. Giving Leslie a towel he led her from the bathroom. "We'll meet you downstairs, later," he said, as he closed the door. I looked down at the young girl in front of me. She returned my gaze expectantly, nervously. I pulled her to me and hugged her, feeling her thin arms snake around my body to hold me tightly. We washed each other. My hands running over her baby-soft skin, fingers cleaning all the cracks, tucks and folds that a young girl has - with me getting turned on by this little darling who was running her hands over me. We dried each other clumsily, Rae, more used to being dried than doing the drying herself. Still, we finished and walked naked into my bedroom to lie, side by side, on my bed. Rae is an angel. Tall, for her age and slim, with long dark hair whose thickness gives it a body that most women (including me) would kill for. Her dark, almost Mediterranean complexion tans easily and without burning, and her skin is almost flawless. Long, almost skinny arms and legs that go on forever. A flat stomach topped by a delightful 'inny' navel and which leads down to a proud mons showing the start of her slit. Even now her inner lips are prominent. Pale[PJ4]-blue eyes reach out to you from her oval face. Serious. most of the time, she is capable of tremendous expression. Her smile lights her whole being and sends a warm glow through whoever it is aimed at. Rae melts hearts and souls. She will be a boy destroyer when she is older[PJ5]. I kissed her, taking charge of her, rolling her on her back and pressing her to the bed with my weight. She accepted my tongue into her mouth and followed it around with her own. I ran my hand up her side, gliding over the smooth hip to the rise of her ribs, on to the little peak of her nipple. The pale brown circle held promise as its tiny peak had already hardened. She stiffened when I ran my fingers around this sensitive bud. Then, she tried to raise her chest, to push herself harder onto my fingers. I didn't allow this. I kept the pressure of my fingers steady, a torturous caress, gentle and loving, firing and tormenting. I looked down at her hot, flushed body as I played with her nipple. Then I took her tiny, hard bud into my mouth and sucked deeply, drawing her tender flesh into my hot maw. She gasped as she drew in her breath. Her arms wrapped around my head and she clutched me to her chest, unwilling to let this wonderful torturous delight end. I used my teeth, nipping her bud hard. She arched her body as she cried out in pained delight. Had she been older she would have been writhing in her climax by now. Unable to obtain this release she was driven higher and higher by my relentless assault on her highly sensitive nipples. My hand flattened on her tummy. I felt the heat rising from her as she squirmed beneath me. I slid my hand lower, felt the rise of her mons, puffy and soft, with the hardness of the bone inside. Lower still, my middle finger found the very top of her slit and entered it gladly. Rae's legs were already parted as my hand slipped down to cup her swollen sex. I rubbed her inner lips, parting them, my finger entering the heat within. All too soon I came to her barrier: her hymen, her maidenhead. I was almost willing to rip my way through this flimsy defence, but calmed myself. At that moment I understood more about boys than I ever had before. I ducked under her grasping arms, releasing my head from her vice-like grip. Still teasing her vagina with my fingers I looked down at her. She was flushed from her head to her tummy. The evidence of her excitement obvious to us both: her dilated eyes spoke of her lust, and the strength of her grip on me warned of her need for release. I looked into her eyes. "I'm going to spread you wide open; then lick you till [PJ6]you scream." I told her. Panting with desire she nodded her acceptance. I rolled down the bed and lay between her legs. I lifted her legs up to her chest then parted them again to press her knees down almost into her armpits. She was completely open to me. I had full access to everything from her mons to her anus. The first stroke of my tongue ran from anus to mons, covering and tasting everything. She shuddered in my grasp. Suddenly I felt the weight of her legs taken from me. I looked up and saw that she was pinning her own legs wide open in this stretched position. "DO IT!" she told, no, ordered, me. "Do it now." With my hands now free I ducked down lower, opened her slit to me and dived in to this hot tunnel with my eager tongue. As my tongue wiped around her vagina, my nose butted against her hooded clitoris. Each time she gasped. I realized what I was doing, then I did it again, harder. I rubbed her clit deliberately with my hard nose while pulling on her skin to free her clit from it's protective hood. I realized my success when she cried out and tried to ram her entire cunt into my mouth. A sudden squirt of hot fluid almost scalded my mouth. Urine or lubricating juices? I neither knew nor cared; I swallowed, and continued my onslaught. "No, no, no more; enough. I can't take any more!" she cried, as she pushed my head away from her and rolled onto her side gasping. I lay beside her and cuddled up to her, spooning our two bodies together. I held her as she and her body came to terms with the feelings and sensations she was finding she could experience. I held her close and nuzzled into her, murmuring sweet nothings into her hair. Together, we fell asleep. We slept for nearly an hour; I felt her kiss my nose. I woke to look deep into her eyes. "Did you enjoy that?" I asked her. She nodded sleepily. "I want to go to sleep now," she said. "You can go and sleep with mummy and daddy if you want. I just want to sleep now - you've tired me out." She smiled at me, she knew what I had wanted to do this evening, make love with Paul and Gail, but I had stayed with her because she had asked me to. "Will you ask Leslie if she would sleep with me tonight, please?" I nodded and kissed her nose. "Of course, my love, of course I will." I got up and went downstairs. "Phowr!" Leslie cried as I entered the room. "You STINK of sex. Didn't you have a shower when you got up?" She held her nose shut and pretended to gag. Paul, sitting next to her, looked up at me and smiled. "Hi Darling," he said, as he poured his cup of tea over Leslie's head. "Ahhh!" Leslie cried, dripping tea everywhere. Gail, bringing sandwiches to the table, kissed her on the head. "Oh, Leslie, I think you need a shower, my Precious," Gail told her. Leslie got up from the table muttering darkly as she left the room. Remembering Rae's request, I quickly ran after her, pulling the door open to find Leslie standing outside. "Don't try to apologize," she said, nose in the air. Waving the air under my nose I grimaced at her. "When you've had a shower," I said, "Rea would like you to sleep with her tonight." "So you can be with Gail and Paul!" Leslie's smile was ear to ear. She blew me a kiss. "Course I will, darling Mother[PJ7]." Another wide, wide smile. "Love you forever," she said as she ran upstairs to shower. I returned to the dining room; Paul was wiping up the spilt tea. "You should have seen the look on her face!" I said. Hegrinned. "I thought it might shut her up," he said, "wasn't sure though." He shook his head then finished wiping up. Gail sat he down and put a plate of sandwiches in front of me. "Tea or coffee?" she asked. I though for a second, coffee would keep me awake for a while. "Coffee please," I replied. I started to eat. Just as Gail put the mug of coffee onto the table, the telephone rang. Paul answered the phone as I ate my tea. I was half way through my coffee when he put the receiver down and turned tous. "That was Jane; Alex has gone missing. He wasn't there when they got home and they've just found a note from him. It said that he was going to do the right thing this time." Gail looked at us slightly puzzled. "This time?" She asked. Paul shrugged his shoulders. "Mike thinks he's coming back here to own up to what he's done. It seems that Alex doesn't like his mum always getting him out of trouble. Mike said that Alex had lost loads of friends because of it." He sat beside me and slipped his arm around me. "Well, we'll see what happens, won't we. The evening was ruined. Tonight there would be no warmth and comfort, no gentle loving or wild passion to ease our thoughts. Even if we shared the bed our thoughts would be our own all night. I looked at my coffee, cooling in the cup. "I'm going to bed," I told them. The both kissed me and let me climb the stairs alone. I had felt their tears on my cheek as we kissed. I hoped that they had not felt mine. To be continued. Copyright (c) 2001 Karen Souleman [PJ1] Should it be 'me' or 'I'? The way to tell is to substitute 'we' or 'us'. In this case 'it was we', is obviously wrong, but 'it was us', sounds right. So if 'we' sounds right then it is 'I' and if 'us' then use 'me'. If you want it technically, we/I are nominative and us/me accusative! So there! [PJ2] This is a truncated phrase. It gives problems regarding 'I' or 'me' (see PJ1 above). It should read ' . . . as naked as I WAS', except that we drop the 'was'. It would be acceptable in speech to say 'me' but not really in narrative. You were right - just thought you might like a bit of explanation. [PJ3] Attributions, such as 'she said', 'he murmured', are NEVER preceded by a full stop, usually it is a comma but it can be an exclamation or question mark. The first letter of the attribution is ALWAYS in lower case (unless the first word is 'I' or someone's name. [PJ4] Modifiers to adjectives which precede a noun, in this case 'pale' modifying 'blue' are hyphenated, except for words like 'very/quite/almost', or if they end in 'ly', as in 'highly sensitive nipples'. [PJ5] You have done well here. You have managed this whole passage in the present tense - this is more difficult that it first appears! [PJ6] ' 'til' with one 'l' and an apostrophe is Old English. It is quite acceptable to use 'till' without an apostrophe and two 'l's. It is considered to be a word in its own right, not an abbreviated form of 'until' [PJ7] The general rule is when directly addressing say, 'mother', it takes a capital, but when just referring to them indirectly as 'will you ask mummy and daddy', they only take a lower case. <1st attachment end> ----- ASSM Moderation System Notice------ Notice: This post has been modified from its original format. The post was sent as an email attachment and has been converted by ASSTR ASSM moderation software. ----- ASSM Moderation System Notice------ ------- ASSM Moderation System Notice-------- This post has been reformatted by the ASSM Moderation Team due to inadequate formatting. -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderator: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Archive: Hosted by Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository | |, an entity supported entirely by donations. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+