Message-ID: <32308asstr$999339002@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: X-Original-Message-ID: <20010901010440.53602.qmail@web20102.mail.yahoo.com> From: lise yates X-ASSTR-Arrival-Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2001 18:04:40 -0700 (PDT) Subject: {ASSM} Control (MF Rom, Gen-X) Date: Sat, 1 Sep 2001 06:10:02 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: hecate, RuiJorge, dennyw __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get email alerts & NEW webcam video instant messaging with Yahoo! Messenger http://im.yahoo.com <1st attachment, "control.txt" begin> ******************** Control by Kieyra This is my first post to A.S.S.M. and my first attempt at erotic ficiton. You've been warned. NOTE: This does contain actual sex between two human beings. If you don't think you should be reading this, you probably shouldn't. If you do anyway, please don't blame me. ******************** Prologue, October 1996. Elizabeth was ready to leave. Marly got halfway to the club's front door before she realized she'd forgotten her purse out in the courtyard area behind the club. "Be right back!" she yelled over the thumping music. She walked rapidly to the back of the club and out the back door. Pushed her way through the crowded patio and found the purse where she'd left it, next to a stone fountain full of rocks. She turned around and headed back to the door. As she approached it, she nearly collided with another body reaching for the door at the same time. She stopped short. Took a step back. "Sorry." She smiled. Jesus, he was cute; in a vague, elven, long-haired way that almost guaranteed that he had developed an inflated ego as a result. Guys like that didn't even look at Marly; her attractiveness was too subtle and she sent all the wrong signals. But he smiled back. "Pardon me." 'Pardon me?' she thought. Then, still smiling, he reached for the door. Opened it. Held it. Executed a fluid bow and a little hand gesture indicating that she should enter. He was wearing some sort of black, renaissance-style poet shirt - it was a Goth club, not that anyone took it too seriously - and the whole scene seemed suddenly misplaced in time. Like she had just stepped into some Bronte novel from her high school required-reading list. The gesture was simple, unselfconscious. She smiled again and curtsied, vague memory from a drama class, and entered ahead of him. Loud darkness again. She wove through smoke and bodies. Thinking about him. Stopped. Turned around. Looked at the bar next to the back door, sifting through faces of people standing at the bar. There he was. Looking at *her*. Smiling at her, across the space and through the moving bodies between them. Direct eye contact now. It couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds: He raised his eyebrows slightly. Inquiry. Glanced at an empty barstool next to where he was standing, then back at her. Invitation. She took a breath and couldn't think of a reason why not. Made up her mind, began walking towards him. His smile broadened a little. Then she heard someone yelling her name. Elizabeth, all but forgotten. She turned, saw Elizabeth at the opposite edge of the crowd, at the club's front door, holding up her pager and looking exasperated. She was on call at work; they must have paged her. Marly sighed, cast a last desperate glance over her shoulder. He was still standing there. Took a swallow from his bottle of beer, smiled at her and shrugged. She smiled back and shook her head helplessly. And they left. She never told Elizabeth about what happened; she couldn't seem to find the words. 'I saw this cute guy. He smiled at me.' Talk about pathetic. But for the next several weeks, she couldn't go to that club without looking for him, scanning the crowd for his face distractedly. Doing a double-take whenever she saw a guy with long dark hair. But she never saw him there again. Eventually she wasn't sure she even remembered what he'd looked like. A few months later, she met Craig and forgot the whole incident. Five Years Later She'd had a few beers at the party but wasn't really feeling them. And that was a shame, really, because she would enjoy turning her brain off for one night. Marly was enjoying her new, solitary life of the last five months, mostly; her first time in her own apartment with no roommates and no boyfriends to take care of or clean up after. But she was under stress at work, and still not totally over her last relationship - and Craig had shown up here tonight with the new girlfriend. It was obvious they were just making an appearance; they couldn't keep their hands off each other and left quickly. So, she thought, I'm feeling sorry for myself and I can't even get properly drunk. She drifted from room to room at the party, looking for amusement, distraction, anything. She ended up back in the den where a loud game of Trivial Pursuit was going on, presided over by Elizabeth. Marly watched for a while, got yelled at when she almost gave away the answer to a particularly tough question, and tried to determine the complex rules - they seemed to involve the ingestion of alcohol at almost every stage of the game. She was just settling back into a gloom, sinking into the couch and considering just giving up and going home, when a guy walked in she thought she recognized. No. Yes - he used to work with Craig. Programmer. Grudgingly her mind came up with the name - Something like Kevin? Keenan? No, Kieran. She remembered him as being very quiet and standoffish. She remembered little else. She realized now why she hadn't quite recognized him at first; his hair, straight and dark ash brown, had grown quite long since she'd last seen him. He'd had short hair when he worked with Craig. She had a thing for long hair and she found herself studying him intently. Late twenties. Slight of build but not skinny - definite muscle tone in the arms there, showing through his long-sleeved shirt - and not much taller than herself. Dark eyelashes and brows contrasted pale gray-blue eyes. Smile-lines at the outer corners of his eyes, the early suggestion of crows' feet. Other lines under the eyes suggested that maybe he hadn't been sleeping too well for a while. His jawline was not square enough to be considered classically handsome, but the artist in her liked the high, sharp structure of his cheekbones. Perhaps some American Indian background... except for the pale complexion that, with the blue eyes and dark hair, brought the term "black Irish" to her mind instead. His name, which she had at first dismissed as the result of Hippie parents, did sound Celtic now that she thought about it. Despite his diminutive stature - compared to the men she usually dated, anyway - he had a definite aura of self-possession and confidence. He moved with a predatory grace, and Marly almost laughed out loud at herself for the cliche as soon as she thought it. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch from her, smiled at her briefly, and was immediately conscripted into the trivia game. When he rolled the dice and moved the game pieces, she found herself staring at his hands and noticing how quick and dexterous he was. When he spoke, his voice was not very deep, but controlled and articulate, like the precise movements of his hands. He seemed to make no false moves, no wasted motion. And the next thing she knew, she was wondering what he would be like in bed. Ok, get a grip, she thought. She continued to watch him, wondering why she had never noticed him before, and wondering if this meant that she was just getting desperate to get laid. She decided that it didn't really matter either way, that he would catch the despair in her eyes and nothing would happen, and that anyway talking to him couldn't hurt anything. During a break in the game, she caught his eye. "You used to work at SyTech, didn't you?" she asked him. "Yeah. You're Craig's girlfriend, right? Marly?" "Not for a while now, no." She laughed. "I mean, yes, I'm still Marly, no to the rest." "Really." He said enigmatically. He stood up before she had a chance to respond. "I'm going to the kitchen. Want anything to drink?" Still thinking about his comment, she replied "Sure, a beer would be great." She watched him as he walked away. Straight, fine hair the color of dark chocolate down to mid-shoulder blade; long but not hippie-long, ending in a neat, straight cut. Shoulders broad in proportion to his body. Slightly faded blue jeans. *Nice* ass. How had she never noticed how attractive he was before? She tried to remember when she had last seem him - it had certainly been over a year, judging by his hair length - and all she could remember was passing his office on her way to Craig's, the back of Kieran's head; he never seemed to look up from his workstation. "Try to restrain yourself." Elizabeth was watching her with obvious amusement. Damned perceptive bitch. She smiled and shrugged at her friend. No point denying it. "Yes," Elizabeth said, taking a gulp of a violently purple mixed drink and wincing, "he's single." Kieran came back with the beers. He had opened the bottle for her already. Smooth, she thought. Nice touch. He handed it to her, and sat back down at the opposite end of the couch. She'd caught his scent for a minute as he leaned over to hand her the beer, clean and male and unfamiliar. Marly felt a warm tingling creeping up around her arms, shoulders, the back of her neck. Her face felt hot. This is it, she thought, trying not to stare at him. I'm doomed. Ten minutes and I'm totally infatuated. Rick finally became incoherently drunk, and Marly was recruited to the team opposing Kieran's. She was good at Trivial Pursuit - her brain excelled at storing useless information - but she soon realized he was good, too. Both teams stayed virtually tied. He surprised her by answering an arcane question about a Katherine Hepburn film; she didn't know any of her friends who liked old movies the way she did. He seemed surprised at her knowledge, too. She caught him off-guard with a sarcastic comment and got the first real laugh she'd heard out of him. She liked it. Eventually more players drifted off and it became obvious that the real competition was between Marly and Kieran. And another game was going on too, underneath the obvious one. She caught him staring at her about as often as she was caught herself, until finally they'd given up and started letting the eye contact linger longer and longer each time. Nothing anyone else would notice; a few seconds here and there, a smile, a raised eyebrow. The game lasted nearly two hours, with frequent interruptions and calls for answers to be verified on the net. Several players came and went; only Marly and Kieran remained the entire time, seemingly locked in deadly combat. The intellectual competition combined with the subvocal flirtation and the overwhelming physical chemistry she felt with Kieran had Marly feeling very 'on' and in her element, her earlier gloom forgotten. She let her hair down from the ponytail holding it, let it curl around her shoulders, stared at Kieran and smiled, looked away. There, that had gotten his attention; she could feel his sudden intense stare in her peripheral vision. Then Kieran started handing her the dice each time his turn was over, instead of leaving them on the board, and the brief contact of their hands left tingles running up her forearm. He grinned at her, the message clear - it was retaliation. Finally, his team won the game on a silly question about Madonna. "Good game," she said. She reached over to shake his hand, letting her hair fall forward. The shock of the full contact of their palms was almost absurdly exciting. "Want another beer?" "Sure," he smiled. The eye contact again. A real smile. Straight white teeth, tiny creases beside his mouth when he smiled like that. In the kitchen, she looked through the fridge. No beer. "Elizabeth!" she yelled. "Beer?" "Um... Cooler on the back patio!" a voice yelled back. She made her way through the living room to the patio doors, and slipped outside. There were a few smokers hanging around dejectedly in the dim light, discussing linux distributions, but she was in no mood for Geek Mode. She found the cooler in a corner, and began digging through the ice in search of beer. She retrieved two bottles, shut the cooler, turned around and gasped. Kieran was standing there. She hadn't heard him walk up behind her. She hated that. "Sorry", he said, "You were taking too long". Again the smile. She'd been gone less than a minute. "I'll have them FedEx'd next time." He laughed and held out a hand for the beers. He took them both, opened them, and gave one back to her. She inhaled deeply, trying to calm her nerves. The musky smell of night-blooming jasmine was wonderful. They looked at each other in silence a moment before Marly grinned self-consciously and broke the eye contact. "I didn't mean to scare you," he began. "I just needed some air." "It's ok. I'm a fairly high-strung person". She shrugged. "It's part of my charm." "You're good at trivia, too." She smiled. "So are you. I was surprised at that Katherine Hepburn question you got. I don't know anyone besides me who even knows who she is these days." "Well, we always watched old movies in my house. No cable. I didn't see Star Wars till I was twenty. I loved The Philadelphia Story." "Me too, it's my favorite!" responded Marly, sincerely surprised. They compared other movie favorites in common for a while. "There's just something about old movies," Kieran said, "they're so much more..." "Glamourous?" "Exactly. It's like movies today try so hard to be dark and negative. Why? Don't we already have enough of that in real life?" Marly nodded. "I mean, a good movie is supposed to be this fantasy world," he continued, "where cool things happen, the bad guys lose, the heroine gets swept off her feet, and everyone goes home happy." He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Ok, I sound a little idealistic, but you know what I mean. And it just seems like the only well-written films these days are also total downers." "Absolutely," she replied. "It's the reason I don't watch many movies. It's all either stoner comedies or Requiem For A Dream. If I want to be depressed I can read the news." Or spend some time in my own head, she thought. "Yeah." He frowned, as though in response to her unspoken words. "How long have you and Craig been split up?" he asked. "If you don't mind me asking, of course." "Five, almost six months. It just wasn't working. There was no chemistry anymore," she said, trying not to place obvious emphasis on the word 'chemistry'. "We'd gone different directions. And assorted other cliches." He nodded. "Happens. Sounds like it wasn't too traumatic, though?" Well, she thought, sometimes I still feel like an animal who has gnawed off their own limb to escape a trap; like a part of my body has been amputated. Other than that, it was fine. Instead she said "It could have been worse." They were silent a moment. She picked idly at the label of her now-empty beer bottle. He finished off his, and they threw their bottles in a garbage bin next to the cooler. Marly leaned against the wall behind her, looked around, noticed the smokers had gone. They were alone on the patio. The first time she had ever been alone with him, anywhere. Kieran leaned back against one of the patio roof's supporting columns, facing her. She studied him. He seemed to be thinking, choosing words. "Don't you wish," he began, "that things actually happened the way they do in old movies, sometimes?" he asked. "I mean, the way things can happen so spontaneously or passionately, and no one questions it or worries about the complications or what's going to happen tomorrow?" She thought about her life of the last few months. She stared at the ground. "Yeah." She sighed without meaning to. "I could use some spontaneity myself these days. I'm starting to forget what it feels like..." She looked back up at him. His expression was unreadable. Suddenly he was crossing the small space between them, fast, moving towards her, and she reflexively tried to back up; felt the solid wall behind her. Then he was in front of her, both palms laid flat against the wall on either side of her, trapping her there. He leaned closer, stared at her intently, and said "Really?" This should have been off-putting, even a little frightening. She didn't like people forcing themselves into her personal space, and a move like this would normally leave her annoyed and contemptuous. Instead, she felt excitement. It didn't feel like a halfconfident macho maneuver. No, rather, he seemed *utterly* confident. I'm not letting this go, she thought. And she wasn't going to let him win the little contest of wills - if that was what it was. She held the eye contact, and said, clearly, "Yes. Really." In her peripheral vision, his right hand moved from the wall so fast she had to suppress a flinch. The hand approached her face; he laid four fingertips along her jawline and cheekbone. Then softly, slowly, he ran the ball of his thumb along her lower lip. She inhaled sharply and felt her pulse accelerate. Her face and upper body seemed to grow sunburn-warm instantly. The night around her slowed down and she was hyperaware of everything: the way he smelled (Mixed with cigarette smoke and incense from the party); the way his eyebrows and eyelashes were so dark and fine (Like something she would draw in a whimsical moment); the hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth (Amused by her reactions so far? Pleased?); the way their breathing got a little shallower, a little quicker... The kiss she knew was coming. His face, inches from her own; the scattering of faint freckles across his pale nose and cheekbones. The sounds of the party spilling out: Music, the lyrics to some Tool song... 'I choose to live and to Lie, kill and give and to Die, learn and love and to Do what it takes to step through...' And then the moment of suspended awareness was over and he was kissing her; and then she had both her hands buried in his long, smooth hair, the hair she'd been wanting to touch all night, fingertips on the back of his head, pulling him closer. He was up against her with his entire body, pushing her against the wall - she could feel his sudden erection through his jeans - and their kissing was soon becoming nearly violent, tongues performing the ritual dance, the contact of his front teeth against hers, their breathing labored. Then, as suddenly as he'd started, he backed off a little, slowed down, seemed to gain control of his own breathing; he began deliberately breaking the kiss up into a series of slower kisses, ending each one after a few moments; lingering, sucking her lower lip gently between his teeth, making her work for contact with his tongue while still pinning her against the wall. He was much stronger than he looked, and he massed more than she did. He seemed to be focusing total concentration on kissing her.He bit her lower lip lightly and she moaned involuntarily, and she knew then that she was in trouble for sure. She had never had this before, someone so confident that he was willing to fully exploit the first rush of powerful chemistry they were experiencing instead of taking a more cautious, tentative route. Like asking for a phone number. She knew exactly what he was doing, and that he knew she knew, and so on, and that just made it all even more exciting. They continued like that for perhaps two more minutes - it seemed much longer - with Marly struggling to gain control of the kissing and mostly failing, and she got the feeling that he was amused by her attempts to put him at her mercy instead of the other way around. Then they heard someone fumbling with the patio door. They separated, each adjusting their clothing and trying to get their hair back behind their shoulders and unmussed. Marly tried to catch her breath and act casual. Kieran seemed perfectly at ease. Damn him. Elizabeth came out, seemingly oblivious (but Marly knew better - Elizabeth would just wait for a better time to grill her) and said "There you guys are. I was about to send out a search party. Come on, Rick's opening his presents." "You mean he's conscious?" asked Kieran. "Mostly." They followed Elizabeth back into the den. Marly sat back down where she'd been on the couch. There were no other open spots on the couch, and Kieran leaned against the arm of the couch beside her. But he didn't make any possessive moves towards her, didn't take any liberties or try to demonstrate to anyone that she was now his territory. Her respect for him increased. She was also slightly disappointed. They went through the present-opening ritual, but Marly paid no attention. She was replaying the patio scene in her head, the moment he had trapped her against the wall. She could still taste him, could still smell his hair on her hands. She still felt breathless and a little shaky. Finally she pushed up off the couch and said "Be right back" to Kieran, and headed to the bathroom. She locked the door behind her, leaned against the bathroom wall then and, closing her eyes, imagined the feel of his tongue again. She cupped her hands against her face and inhaled deeply, smelling his hair. Jesus, she thought. I'm in trouble. She walked to the sink, splashed cold water on her face, dried off with a hand towel. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her face was still flushed, eyes bright, lips slightly swollen-looking - but that was surely just her imagination. Finally someone knocked on the bathroom door, and she unlocked it and exited past - someone; she wasn't really paying attention. She turned back to the party, but something else had caught her eye and she looked back down the hall towards the bedrooms - yes, there was Kieran, leaning against the door of a linen closet at the end of the hall, grinning. She turned and walked to him and smiled back, wondering what he was up to. He held out a hand for hers, and she took his hand tentatively, the feel of his cool fingers against hers a strange contrast to the heat of their earlier contact. He opened a bedroom door. It was a guest bedroom. She followed him in, wondering if he honestly thought she was going to fuck him right then, at a party, in a friend's guest bedroom, wondering if she'd made a mistake. He tried the light switch. Nothing happened. "Burned out," he announced. How convenient, she thought. But there was a lot of moonlight coming in through the window - a full moon, no wonder her brain was elsewhere - and he pulled her in behind him and closed the door. The empty bedroom was cold. She felt goose bumps rising on her skin. He turned to face her, leaning against a dresser, and just as she was about to make a snide comment about whatever it was he was expecting to happen here, he surprised her again by pulling her to him and hugging her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her. Like they'd known each other forever. And she instinctively put her arms around his neck, leaned into him, and buried her face in his hair, which smelled faintly of citrus. And simultaneously, they both sighed a long sigh that sounded like profound relief after a long and painful separation. Then they both laughed, his breath against her neck. "Listen," he said, still holding on to her. "This is going to sound cliche, but I don't normally do this sort of thing." "Too bad, I do it all the time," she replied automatically, and he laughed. "Seriously, though. I have to go. Now. I have to go pick up my mother at the airport, she's flying in late tonight." "Okay," she mumbled, feeling like the floor had dropped out from beneath her. Not fair, she thought. Not fair at all. Here comes the lie. He changed his mind, or something. "Listen," he repeated, and disengaged from her, tilted her face up, making her look at him. Her own eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and she could see his irises, pale and colorless in the moonlight. "I'm not letting this go." She stiffened at the mirroring of her own earlier thought. He went on without noticing. "I want to see you again. I'm going to be busy all week this week with my Mom in town. She's going to be buying some property down here and I have to help her out, show her around. So I'm going to give you my email address, and I want you to write to me and give me yours. If you want to. If I don't hear from you, I'll assume this wasn't a good time in your life for this." He took out a thin wallet, handed her a business card. She put it in her jeans pocket without looking at it. She looked at him silently. He sighed, pulled her back to him, and kissed her softly, once. "Write me" he said, "or call. Ok?" She nodded. He went and opened the door a crack, peered out. "All clear." They walked out. He went into the front living room, where she heard him saying his goodbyes. She headed back into the den and collapsed on a couch next to Elizabeth, trying to act casual. "So," Elizabeth asked, "Are you in love?" Marly sighed, not bothering to evade. "I don't know. I'm in *something*, alright." "I knew you two were going to hook up tonight. You've both been single a while, and you both suck at being single." She frowned. "And you both have that need for intensity in your lives." "He had a girlfriend recently?" Marly asked, ignoring the last comment. "Yeah. Long-term. Real ugly ending, about a year ago. She got pregnant with another guy, tried to tell him it was his. He had to come up with the money for DNA testing to prove it wasn't. And some other really charming stuff. He's been pretty bitter ever since. I think tonight is the first time I've heard him actually laugh since it all went down." Marly thought about all this. She pulled the business card out of her pocket, turned it around in her fingers a few times before reading it. She recognized the name of a small local Internet company. Then his name: Kieran R. Warrick, Lead Developer, then an email address, and, almost as an afterthought, some phone numbers. "I'm going home," she announced. *** During the half-hour drive home, she turned the radio on but didn't really listen to it; instead replaying the evening in her head, over and over. Back home, she already knew what she was going to do without consciously thinking about it; she was going to write him email right now. Once she admitted it to herself, she couldn't get online fast enough. Hello. Remember me? I know it's been a while since we last spoke, but I decided to drop you a line and see how things have been going for you. Maybe we should get together, catch up on old times? Let me know. Marly She felt a little silly, but sent the message off anyway and then, on a whim, did a net search for "kieran" and "celtic". According to the first page she found, "Kieran" meant "black, dark, mysterious" in Celtic. Hmpf. She got up to get some water, and was still standing in the kitchen, talking to one of her cats, when she heard the little Ding! from her computer that meant she had new email. No way, she thought. Gotta be spam or a mailing list. She literally ran back to her computer, and felt a goofy grin on her face when she saw that he had already replied. Of course I remember you! It HAS been a while but I have a good memory. Las Vegas, 1983, right? Fortunately I managed to plea-bargain the charges down to a misdemeanor. Sorry I haven't kept in touch. Seriously, I'm glad you wrote. home from the airport, mom is sleeping off her jet lag, and I'm wide awake. If you are too, I know this is old-fashioned at all, but do you want to talk on the phone a bit? If so, don't bother replying to this message, just call me on the cellphone number on my business card. (All calls will be billed at $1.99 per minute, please have your Visa or MasterCard ready.) Kieran "ALL YOUR TRIVIA ARE BELONG TO US" Warrick "Yes!" she exclaimed out loud, causing one of her cats, dozing on top of the monitor, to open her eyes and glare at Marly with contempt. She bounced into her bedroom with the cordless phone, the business card and a glass of water, pausing only to brush her teeth and scrub off what was left of her makeup. She quickly stripped off her clothing except for her T-shirt and underwear, turned off the lights, and burrowed into her bed. She read the business card by the light of the moonlight streaming in, and dialed his number. "I'm glad you called," was the way he answered the phone. "Hello," she said, smiling in the dark. "Just couldn't stay away, could you?" "Well, no more than you could." "Ok.. you've got me there. So, what are you wearing?" She laughed. "Star Wars pajamas," she lied. "Oooh.. my favorite. Carrie Fisher was hot." She laughed again. "So..." she began, tentatively, "Tonight was.. interesting." "Interesting... I guess that's one way to put it. Look, I hope you don't think I'm, you know, a player or something. I don't normally force myself on my Trivial Pursuit opponents like that. Even if they do lose. I guess I have no excuse for my actions. But I'm not going to apologize." "Good," she said. "Neither am I." She stretched, enjoying the feel of the cool sheets. "Mmmm..." "Jesus," he said, "what are you doing?" "Sorry," she said, embarrassed. "I was just stretching. The bed feels good." "Don't be sorry. You make the coolest sounds." "Really?" She was smiling in the dark, her face growing warm again. "Yes. I really enjoyed kissing you tonight. You're very... responsive." "I suppose I'm not too good at hiding what I'm feeling." "It was nice. Don't hide it." "Ok. But you may regret it someday." She changed the subject. "How do you know Elizabeth, anyway?" "We used to date, a long time ago. "What?! She never told me about you." "Well, we were, like, nineteen at the time and both very confused. It didn't last long. But the friendship continued. The time we were dating was insignificant compared to the amount of time we've been friends. I'm not surprised she didn't mention it." "Well, I still don't understand why I've never run into you before, other than at SyTech." He took a breath, sighed. "I haven't gone out much for the past few years. I was in a long-term relationship until last year, and I just didn't do much else besides work." "Yeah, I know how that goes, actually." They were quiet a moment. "It sucks, doesn't it? Being alone again.." she asked. "Yeah.. At first I missed her a little, even though things ended really badly. Then I got used to her not being around. But you still miss having someone there-" "Just another human being." "Exactly. It's weird, but it's still hard for me to sleep now, without having someone to put my arm around." "A pillow just isn't the same." He laughed. "Not at all. I..." he trailed off. "Hmm?" He sighed. "Ok, since this is confession time, I was about to say 'I wish I had you here to put my arm around right now.' I mean, I know that sounds ludicrous at this stage, but believe it or not, the highlight of the night for me was when we hugged, in that bedroom." "I know," she said softly. He took a breath. "Not to say that the rest wasn't enjoyable..." "Very." She stretched again, remembering his tongue, his arms. "Mmmmm.." "You're doing it on purpose this time, aren't you?" "Possibly." "I hope you realize what you're doing to me, making noises like that." "Whatever it is, you probably deserve it." "Hey now. Careful." "Is that a challenge?" "Let's just say I'll be remembering that little remark for later." She hesitated a moment. "Is there going to *be* a later?" "I told you I wanted to see you again," he said, sounding suddenly serious. "And by the way, I think you're wrong, we *did* run into each other before I worked at SyTech. Literally." "What?!" Something had been nagging at the back of her mind since he'd walked into the party. Even after she'd recognized him from SyTech. But she'd dismissed it. Now it came back, full force. "Well, you used to go to a club called Claudia's, downtown, right? Before it closed? Goth place?" "Yes..." He sighed. Laughed. "This sounds so stupid now, I'm sure you don't remember, we didn't even talk, but we sort of bumped into each other..." It clicked then, everything. "Going in the back door! From the courtyard. Oh my *god*!" "You do remember, then." "Yes! And I went back to that stupid club every Saturday night for the next two months looking for you! I was so mad at myself for letting Elizabeth-- Hey, wait a second. Elizabeth was there with me that night. Why didn't I see her talking to you, since you two have been friends so long?" "I did talk to her that night. She said she was with a friend who was off dancing. Then she got paged by work and went to go look for her. That was you she was talking about? Is that why you left?" "Yes! Oh my god. This is too weird. I was obsessed with you and I didn't even know you." "If it makes you feel any better, you had the same effect on me. But I started working weird hours and didn't go there anymore. Then I met Janine. But didn't Elizabeth make the connection, when you described me?" "Well... I never told her. I had just met her at that point and I thought it would sound a little flaky. That I was obsessed with some guy I'd interacted with for two minutes, and I didn't even know his name." "I never mentioned it to her either. The connection, it was just too..." "Subtle?" "Exactly. And then I saw you tonight, and I only recognized you from SyTech... Until you took your hair down. That was a dirty trick, by the way." "Thanks." "Yeah. But anyway, you always had your hair up when I saw you at SyTech, no makeup, and I never made the connection before.." "Your hair threw me off, too. It was so short at SyTech," she interjected. "Janine didn't like it long. Anyway, when you took your hair down tonight, I remembered that night at Claudia's, and how pissed off I was at myself for not just chasing you down on the way to the parking lot and handing you my phone number." He took a deep breath. "And so I decided I needed to do something a little more definitive tonight to make up for my earlier inaction. Thanks for cooperating." She laughed. "I'm sorry, I'm kind of speechless right now... I wish you were here right now so I could look at you again and compare it to the memory of that night." "So, when can I see you again?" The sudden shift caught her off-guard. "Well, I don't have anything planned for the next few hours," she replied. It was a bluff, but she was half hoping he would call it. He didn't. "I can't. I need to be up early tomorrow to drive my mother around. Or, believe me, I'd take you up on it." "Fine. Next Saturday night then?" "Think we'll make it that long?" "Guess we'll find out." After the phone call, she tossed and turned and could not sleep. Finally she masturbated, three times, thinking about him as she orgasmed each time, thinking about his smell and his taste and his voice. *** Over the course of emails that week they worked out the details: Kieran would drop his mother and her rental car off at the airport that night, and take a taxi back to his house. His car was in the shop, so she would pick him up around 10pm. They decided to skip the whole first-date dinner awkwardness ("What if I accidentally ordered something stringy?" Marly protested) and go directly to a new club that had opened downtown in Claudia's old location, and meet up with Elizabeth and Rick and the rest of the crowd. The week flew by, mostly because Marly was swamped at work - although she regretted having almost no time to talk to Kieran via phone or email - but then the clock seemed to stop at around 3pm Friday. The next three hours took about four subjective weeks, as Marly tried to concentrate on deadline work. But the week finally ended, and Marly stayed in Friday night with a bottle of red wine and listened to old MP3s. She slept in late Saturday, then spent literally all afternoon getting ready, occasionally stopping to shake her head and laugh at herself; she felt like a silly teenager. As if the universe was attempting to make the evening perfect for her, there had been a cold snap the night before, which meant that Marly could comfortably wear her favorite, melodramatic, thick velvet "gothy" dress, the one she could really only wear to clubs. It was black, with long black lace bell-sleeves, and the bodice laced all the way up the front, enhancing her already curvy figure. She didn't consider herself to be part of the "goth" subculture - she found angst more than a little boring - but she enjoyed the opportunity to dress up like this once in a while, to deviate from the norm. She applied her makeup carefully, and put on her favorite silver-and-moonstone earrings, and a simple silver necklace. Finally, she let her long red-brown hair down to dry naturally, allowing it to curl however it wished. She was ready, but she still had a little while before it would be time to leave. She tried to calm her nerves, burning incense and listening to music; but her heart was pounding, threatening to crash out of her chest She figured she *had* to look better than she had at the party last weekend, when she had barely bothered to throw on some makeup and find a clean shirt. She wondered what Kieran would wear. Around 9:45, Kieran called to tell her that he was home from the airport, and that she could head over whenever she was ready. She drove to his house, directions scrawled on the back of a laser-printed to-do list, still trying to relax. She arrived at the address and walked up to the front door of a small, neat house in a new subdivision. She knocked. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been so nervous. Her stomach kept flip-flopping. He opened the door, stood there smiling. "Hello," she said. "Ready to go to the prom?" "Yes, I've got your corsage in here somewhere." He was wearing black jeans and a tight black knit shirt, with a dark blue velvet dress shirt worn loose over it. His gleaming dark hair fell behind his shoulders. She caught the glint of a silver chain around his neck; she hadn't noticed it at the party. He smelled good. He seemed to be studying her as intently. "You look very nice," he said finally, grinning. "So do you. Ready?" He nodded. She walked to the car, feeling his eyes on her. An odd silence filled the car once they started driving. Normally she would have tried to break the ice, say something funny, tried to fill up the empty space with pointless babble, but she was oddly content to just drive and feel excited and nervous, and feel the warmth of him sitting next to her in the small front seat, and smell his hair and his aftershave. Several miles later, a light came on on the instrument panel. "Dammit, I need to stop for gas. I forgot." She pulled into the next gas station she passed, just before the interstate. "Want me to get it?" he asked. "Nah, I can handle it." She got out of the car, swiped her card, and began pumping the gas. Normally she would have paid more attention to the guy standing on the other side of the pump, especially since there was no car there and they were in an iffy part of town, but tonight she was oblivious. She finished pumping the gas, put the nozzle back. Screwed the cap on. And the next thing she knew, he was standing right next to her. "Hey, baby," he drawled, "Are you s'posed to be a witch or something? Halloween's over." She backed up towards the front of the car. He followed. He looked about fifty, and unkempt, but not a street person. He grinned inanely. He must be drunk, she realized, smelling his breath. He reached for her with a grubby hand and she flinched back out of his reach. "C'mon, I just wanna talk to you. You don't hafta to be like that." And now he was blocking the driver's side door. She glanced around the deserted gas station desperately, trying to decide what to do. She saw the clerk in the small store, watching a television with his back to her. The drunk moved towards her again and she was on the verge of panic, fight-or-flight reflexes jangling her nervous system. And suddenly Kieran was out of the car and swiftly moved up behind the drunk. "Hey," he said casually. The drunk turned around, squinting. "Whathefuck do you want?" "I want you to get away from the car." "Why?" the drunk asked. "So I can kick the shit out of you," Kieran replied. Marly hated violence. "Kieran.." she said, panicking. "Kieran!" But he ignored her, not taking his eyes off the drunk. The drunk swaggered towards Kieran. Marly could see the telegraphed punch coming, gasped and put a hand up to her mouth. But Kieran saw it too, and backed away rapidly; then he did something, so fast that Marly couldn't really see, he just sort of moved in a way that caused the drunk to fall forward and sprawl hard on the concrete behind the car. Then Kieran leaned down, rolled the guy over by one shoulder with his left hand, and punched him once, hard and fast, in the face, making a disturbing crunching sound. Marly gasped again. The drunk lay still. Then Kieran was up and moving towards her rapidly. She was still frozen, one hand over her mouth, keys dangling from the other at her side. He took her arm gently and took the keys away from her, pushed the lock button, then put his arm around her and walked her around the front of the car to the passenger door, unlocked it, got her inside, locked it again. Walked calmly back around the front of the car to the driver's side, got behind the wheel, closed and locked his door. "I'm really, really sorry," Kieran said as they drove away, "I should have gotten out when you were pumping the gas." He took her hand in his. "It's ok," she said, shaking and trying not to cry. "I pump my own gas all the time." He squeezed her hand. "Not in this neighborhood." "What did you do to him? What was that sound?" "Broke his jaw." She thought about this. "That gas station has to have surveillance cameras. Can't you get arrested for assault or something?" "Even if the guy calls the police, even if they bother looking at the video, which they won't, they'll see that he was coming after you. They won't pursue it. He's shitfaced. If anything they'll throw him in jail overnight and he'll get free medical treatment, which he doesn't deserve." She couldn't hold it in anymore. She started crying. "God, I'm sorry," she said. "I don't cope very well with this kind of thing. Brings back some bad memories." "Don't apologize. I should have gotten out. Damn it, I was just sitting there daydreaming like an idiot. Look, do you want to just head back to my place, at least till you calm down? I swear this isn't a line, it's just the closest place I can think of. I won't try anything." "Alright," she said, sniffling. He drove them the few miles back to his house. He was a good driver even in an unfamiliar car; she usually preferred to drive but he didn't make her nervous at all. He held her hand the entire way. Back at his house, she followed him up the walk, waited as he unlocked the door and ushered her inside. The living room was smallish and neat, almost a little bare, with three bookcases full of books and a few framed images that Marly recognized as Hubble telescope shots. A single tan overstuffed couch faced the entertainment system. Computer desk in one corner, with the usual small piles of papers and CDs. The kitchen must be in back. A staircase led to the second floor. "Bathroom's down that hall," he said, gesturing. "Thanks." Marly closed the bathroom door behind her, set her purse on the counter. She looked at herself in the mirror. The tears hadn't done much damage; she touched up her makeup and brushed her hair, then took a deep breath and tried to stop thinking about the sound of bone fracturing. When she came back to the living room, Kieran was sitting on the couch, one leg crossed over the opposite knee. She sat on the opposite end of the couch, pulled her legs up underneath her. "Are you alright?" he asked. "Yeah..." "You sure?" "You hit that guy really hard." Kieran sighed. "It was the only way to put him out fast and get it over with. So we could get out of there. I didn't feel like getting into a fight tonight, of all nights." He frowned, looking at the floor. "I didn't mean to break his jaw. I was angry. Lost control." His right hand was clenched in a fist resting on his knee; he looked at it, consciously flexed and relaxed his long fingers. "You looked like you knew what you were doing, though." "I've been training in different martial arts on and off since I was fifteen." She nodded. She'd figured as much as soon as she'd seen him put the drunk on the ground. It explained his grace, the way he carried himself. Then: "Any reason in particular?" "It's good self-discipline. Not something our generation is known for." She laughed and he continued. "And when you're a short guy you have to do something to balance the odds in your favor." "You're not short. You're taller than I am." "I'm five-seven. For a guy, that's pretty short. And I was a skinny little punk in high school. Other guys don't let you forget it." She shrugged. "Well... I guess. It certainly doesn't bother me. I've always dated really tall guys and never realized till last weekend how much more intense that first kiss can be when the other person isn't a foot taller than you are." At the mention of that night, she saw his eyes unfocus for a moment. "Yeah..." he said, none too attentively. She laughed. "Ready to go?" "Hmmm?" "To the club. I spent too much time getting ready tonight to sit around brooding over drunken scumbags at gas stations." "Oh. Sure, great, let's go." *** Marly surprised herself by letting Kieran drive again. Once they were out on the freeway, he again reached for her hand. She took delight in the gesture and the feel of his fingers interlocked with hers. He ran his thumb back and forth over the top of hers. At the club entrance, she began digging in her purse for the cover charge, but he had already paid for both of them. She thought about this, added up a few other things. Once inside, as they stood at the edge of the crowd, she looked up at him pointedly. "What?" he asked. "How long does it last?" "What? How long does what last?" "The Perfect Guy thing." "Huh?" "Opening beer bottles.. paying for the cover.. opening doors.. being the perfect gentleman, rescuing the damsel in distress. Being nice to your mother. All that. When do you turn into the typical guy and start leaving your socks on the coffee table and forgetting Valentine's Day and pretending to be violently ill whenever something tedious needs to be done? When does The Perfect Guy go away?" He looked troubled and she was afraid she'd sounded too bitter, too sarcastic. Perhaps just crazy. "Never," he began. "That's part of what drove my ex-girlfriend nuts." She said nothing, just looked at him, surprised. "It's like the first night we met.. sort of met, anyway. At Claudia's. Holding the door open for you. It's just the way I am. I don't think about it. It's not an act. I don't know why everyone has such a hard time believing that." "And your ex-girlfriend had a problem with this?" "She said it was the 90s, women should open their own doors, that it was a stupid macho thing to do and I was just trying to assert control and maintain the upper hand. That it was a passive-aggressive thing. Or something like that." He looked at the ground. "It's not like I tried to tell her what to do, or was expecting her to quit her job or stay home barefoot and -- pregnant..." he trailed off. "Her loss," she said, smiling. "Come on, you can buy me a beer. And open it." Like the three or four other clubs that had been opened in this building, the present management favored an environment that was unlit, loud, and crowded with people wearing mostly black clothing; velvet and latex being the commonest choice of fabrics. The DJ seemed to be playing a typical mix of dark electronic music. A cloud of clove cigarette smoke hung in air beneath the high ceiling. They threaded their way through the packed walkway leading to the main bar near the dance floor. At the bar, he ordered and paid for two beers. He handed one to her. "Sorry," he yelled over the music, "The bartender already opened it. Do you want me to kick his ass?" Marly just smiled. "You want to go out back? See if Elizabeth and Rick are here?" he yelled. She nodded. He held out his hand. She took it and let him lead her through the next blockade of bodies, and to the back door. Elizabeth and Rick were out back in the stone courtyard, same as ever no matter what the club was named, in a small circle of people Marly mostly recognized. "Wow!" exclaimed Elizabeth. "I didn't expect to see you two actually show up." She seemed to be inspecting them for signs of damage. "I don't see any bite marks." "Some of us have self-control," Kieran replied with a smile. "What fun is that?" Elizabeth asked. "A lot of fun, if you do it right." Still the smile. He was obviously used to Elizabeth's tormenting. At this point, Marly noticed that her female friends (and a few of the guys who were of questionable orientation) were definitely giving Kieran the eye. It was obvious many of them were seeing him for the first time. She fought the urge to move closer to him possessively. Elizabeth introduced Kieran to those who hadn't met him at the party last week, and casual chatting commenced, centered around the latest high-budget, horribly written SciFi movie. Elizabeth showed off her latest piercing (left ear, cartilage). Marly's coworker Jason flagged down a waitress wearing a schoolgirl kilt and Doc Martens, and made everyone try some sort of horrible new shots that tasted like licorice. Marly chased the shot with sips of the beer, trying not to drink too much too quickly. As they both began to relax and enjoy themselves, Kieran slipped an arm around her shoulder casually and she moved closer to him. She saw the eyebrows raise, the furtive glances; people taking note of their first real public display of affection and adding up the implications; especially those who had been present for the Trivial Pursuit game last weekend. Only Elizabeth displayed absolutely no reaction, but Marly knew she noticed. She noticed, and remembered, everything. "But," she had told Marly once, drunkenly, "I use my powers for good not evil." Half an hour later, Marly recognized an old Peter Murphy song, and most of the crowd in the courtyard began moving to the door. "Goth magnet," Rick commented. "Come on," Elizabeth said. "I want to dance to this. You know you like this song." They got up. Actually," Kieran said to Marly, "I haven't heard this in a long time. Hell, I haven't gone out in a long time. I think I'm going to dance too. Want to join me?" "I'll meet you in a minute, I'm going to stop at the ladies room first." As the entered through the back door, he bowed and held the door open for her. She took the cue and curtsied smoothly, grinning like a maniac. They followed the flow of bodies through the back door and back into the smoke and music inside. Marly veered away from the main current in the sea of bodies, headed off the restroom. She'd been too nervous to eat dinner, and the first beer had already made its way through her system. She was beginning to catch the buzz she'd been unable to get last weekend. On the way out of the bathroom, she bumped into Elizabeth, who pulled her back in. "So, how's it going?" Elizabeth asked. "You two look disgustingly good together." Marly smiled, felt the blood rushing to her cheeks. "So far so good. He's a little quiet, though. He's not secretly an axe murderer, is he?" Elizabeth smiled and shook her head. "He's just been through a lot. Probably still a little scared. Trust me, he's a great guy. I don't know two people I'd rather see get together. I knew if I tried to manipulate the situation, you'd both get all stubborn on me; I'm really glad you hit it off." Marly just smiled. "But I'm not going to get any details yet, am I?" Elizabeth laughed and hugged her. On the edge of the large dance floor, she spotted Kieran towards the back, near the mirrored wall. Watched him a moment, to see if he was a decent dancer. A lot of guys weren't. Then she opened her mouth, took a deep breath, closed it again. And continued to watch. He was graceful, totally at ease, unselfconscious.. Finally, she made her way out onto the floor, moving in time with the music and bodies but not really dancing yet, not till she got close to his space on the floor. Then he saw her and smiled briefly, went back to his dance. She danced too then, losing herself in the music and the darkness and the sense of strangers around her, all lost in their own dances. The song ended. The DJ had left a few seconds' silence in between. Marly and Kieran stood staring at each other, waiting for the next song to start, deciding whether to continue dancing. A slow, heavy beat started. It took a second for Marly to recognize it: Front Line Assembly, Unknown Dreams. Paying more attention to each other than their dancing now. Not touching, but staring, eyes wide. The movements of his body reminded her of the night last weekend, strong arms holding her while he kissed her. 'Forever... and ever... tomorrow may never come.' He was gorgeous. She suddenly wanted him, badly, in a way she'd been too nervous to feel till now. She wanted to possess him. She'd never thought that about anyone before. He was looking at her as though he was having similar thoughts. As the song ended, Kieran held out a hand her direction in a gesture that was becoming familiar. She walked to him and took his hand. His grip tighter than before, he led her through the crowd ringing the dance floor, past another bar, to a small dim hallway leading to a fire exit. There were a few small groups of people standing there talking. He ignored them. So did she. He took off the velvet shirt. Dropped it on the ground, but Marly hardly noticed. She was awed by the sight of his torso under the tight black t-shirt. His chest and arms were slim but finely muscled and proportioned, lithe and solid. Saying nothing, he put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her against the wall. Her breathing became shallow instantly, memory of last week. He leaned bodily against her this time before kissing her, resting his forearms against the wall above her head. Stared into her eyes, his pupils dilated. She was ready for it this time, though; she felt him tense and she met him halfway, pushing back against him, arms around his neck as their lips met. A week's worth (or was it five years' worth?) of anticipation exploded between them. He controlled the pace of the kissing again, but she dug her nails into his back through the thin fabric of his shirt, moved her body against his. Ran her hands along his arms, felt the muscle ripple. Felt his reaction. Then he ended the kiss, breathing hard. With his right hand he brushed a loose wisp of hair back from her face, then traced his fingertips lightly down her cheek. Ran his index finger along her lower lip, and suddenly that was it, she'd had enough. She grabbed his hand, brought it back to her mouth, sucked his index slowly into her mouth to the first joint, never breaking eye contact with him. Slid her tongue around the soft ball of his fingertip. Bit gently, then harder. Pulled it out. Sucked it in again. He was breathing open-mouthed now, staring at her with slightly unfocussed eyes. Then they kissed again. She was feeling an unfamiliar heat, a throbbing between her legs, a level of arousal halfforgotten in the last few apathetic years with Craig. Breaking the kiss, she put her arms around him and laid her head against his shoulder, face against his neck. They just stood there like that a minute, breathing against each other, knowing they were in public and trying to calm down. She put her face up to his ear, whispered "Can we go back to your place?" He disengaged from her, held her at arms length, looked at her intently. "Are you sure that's what you want?" he asked. "I'm not really sure what I want," she admitted. "But I don't want to find out standing in this hall." He smiled. Retrieved his shirt from the floor, put it back on. Took a breath. "We have to say goodbye to Elizabeth and Rick, you know." "Yeah." The group was back at the courtyard. "We're heading out," Kieran announced, holding Marly's hand, finally failing to sound casual for once. Elizabeth actually restrained herself. "Ok, have fun. Drive safely." She waved them off, went back to her conversation with a girl with a shaved head and a pierced septum. The rest of the small group waved distractedly. *** Kieran drove again, after opening the car door for her and closing and locking it behind her. They spoke little, clasped hands resting together on the center console. Back at his house, she waited this time for him to open her car door. Then she reached into the back seat and pulled out a duffel bag. He raised his eyebrows. "I'd hate to think I was a foregone conclusion," he said in mock offense, smiling. "Will you still respect me in the morning?" "Settle down," she said. "I expected to be spending the night at Elizabeth's, since her house is a lot closer to downtown. But for now I'd like to take off my makeup and throw on a t-shirt, if that's Ok with you." "Of course. My apologies." They walked into the house, Kieran closing and locking the door behind them. Marly set her bag down, and turned and looked at him. He smiled and leaned back against the door, waiting to see what she would do next. She walked up to him and reached up, put her hands on either side of his head, her splayed fingers in his hair, and kissed him very softly, just a slight flicker of her tongue. When he reached to pull her closer, she twisted away out of his reach, grabbed her bag and headed to the bathroom, laughing. "You'll pay for that," he called after her. After she'd changed into shorts and a t-shirt and taken off her makeup, she sat next to him on the couch. He had changed too, into plain blue jeans and a faded grey tshirt. "Well," she said. "This is the real me, no makeup." He leaned over and kissed her softly, once. "You're beautiful," he said. Kissed her again. On a sudden impulse, and maybe because of the alcohol, she climbed onto his lap, straddling his thighs, facing him on the couch. He looked a little surprised but wrapped his forearms arms around her lower back. She leaned down and kissed his lips, then worked her way down to his neck, kissing softly, then biting. He stiffened, his breathing quickening slightly. She slid her hands up inside the sleeves of his t-shirt, feeling his smooth biceps, shoulders. He reached up and grabbed the back of her neck to pull her to him for a kiss. Playfully she shrugged off his hands, grabbed his wrists and pushed them back against the couch, held them there while she went back to kissing his neck. But suddenly he reversed the situation, grabbed her by the wrists and pushed both arms behind her back, held them. Now she sat atop him, arms pinned behind her arched back, breasts jutting up into the air. He smiled up at her. "You don't really want to play this game, do you?" he asked in a low voice, "You'll lose." She considered. Tried to free her arms and couldn't. "I could scream," she suggested. "I don't think you will," he said. "It's kind of hard for you to kiss me in this position, so you lose anyway," she said smugly, and rocked on top of him slowly, teasing, feeling his erection growing. He seemed to consider a moment. Suddenly, somehow, he maneuvered her off his lap, to one side, and onto the couch, deftly repositioning their bodies so that instead of sitting on the couch and being straddled by her, they both lay lengthwise on the couch, only now he was on top, supporting part of his weight on one elbow. It had all happened so quickly it took Marly a moment to realize he also had her wrists pinned above her head. With one hand. He gave it a moment to sink in, then placed the other hand on the side of her neck and kissed her. "I win", he whispered. "Don't get too used to it," she whispered back. He just smiled, the faint lines at the corners of his eyes becoming more prominent. He kissed her again, and slowly relaxed his grip on her wrists as their lips parted slowly and tongues met. Her hands free, she slid her arms up and around his back, trailed her nails across the fabric covering his shoulderblades. His weight on her was solid and perfect. Marly was not the type to jump into bed with someone immediately, not for any particular moral reasons but because it took her a while to get comfortable and relaxed around a new person. But any nervousness she might have felt with Kieran was swept away by the intense attraction she felt for him, by the fact that it was clearly reciprocal, by his confidence. Kieran relaxed and settled more of his weight on her. She wrapped her legs around the backs of his, heels on the backs of his knees, pulling him closer, rubbing against him deliciously, feeling his erection again. "Mmm..." she murmured around his tongue. "That sounds even better in person than on the phone," he said huskily, breaking the kiss only long enough to mouth the words. Body against body, tongues intertwined, her fingers once again buried in his hair. Still fully clothed, but moving against each other in an unmistakable manner, Marly feeling the denim of Kieran's jeans against her bare thighs. She felt she was melting against him. She made up her mind on some level, and began to reach down to pull his shirt up over his shoulders... The phone rang. The kiss broke abruptly, and Kieran lay there for a few heartbeats, catching his breath. She hadn't realized how heavily they were both breathing until now. The house seemed very quiet in contrast; no other noises except their labored breathing and the phone. Still ringing. Kieran carefully levered himself up and off Marly and the couch. Marly sat up. He walked to the computer desk and yanked the cordless handset from its cradle. "What?!" he yelled into the handset abruptly, and Marly stifled a laugh. "Oh... hi.. Sorry, been getting lots of telemarketers tonight. How was your flight?... Great. Um, look, I was in the middle of something, can I call you back tomorrow?..." Kieran paused, laughed. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do... No, don't worry... Ok, talk to you then... 'night." He hung up the phone, paused a second, then disconnected the line from the back of the base. Then he turned to Marly, smiling and running his hands through his hair, getting it back behind his shoulders. "Mom", he said. "Figured as much," replied Marly. "They always have great timing." "She asked if I had 'some girl' here with me. At least she let me off the phone once I admitted it." Marly smiled. "Very considerate of her." Kieran sat down on the couch next to Marly, grabbed a loose cushion absentmindedly. He took a deep breath, exhaled. "Well," he began, "Was that a mood-breaker or what?" Marly laughed. "You could say that. As soon as I can stop mentally picturing your mother glaring at me, I'll let you know." "Ah, she's pretty cool, just a bit protective after what I went through with Janine." "Elizabeth told me a little about it," Marly ventured. "Sounded pretty grim." "Yeah, well... it didn't do much for my faith in humanity, but I've tried not to let it get me down too much. No big deal." He had a placid expression on his face, but he stared at the carpet. Marly suddenly realized he had done a very good job so far of hiding just how bad the situation must have been. She looked at him squarely, put a tentative hand on his forearm and said in a low, controlled tone, "Do you want to talk about it"? It's ok, I mean it, she thought. You can talk to me about it. I can see it, still in there eating at you. He looked up at her. She saw the moment he chose to let some of his guard down. He smiled ruefully. "Not tonight," he said, "We've had enough interruptions. But soon, probably." "Deal. Sometimes it's good to get this stuff out, you know." "Hey, I'm a guy, we're not supposed to admit to even having emotions in the first place." Marly laughed and rolled her eyes. "Sure, whatever." A stray wisp of hair had fallen down into Kieran's face. She leaned over and Ebrushed it away, then put her arms around his neck and leaned her head against his shoulder. He put an arm around her, and eventually, by stages, she ended up sitting with her legs draped crosswise over his lap, their arms wrapped around each other; not kissing, just enjoying the contact, faces buried in each other's hair. "You smell so good," Marly said, nuzzling Kieran's neck. "So do you, " he answered. "I could sit here all night like this." "Mmm ..." Marly agreed. Then she shivered; it was getting colder outside and she was only wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Goosebumps rose on her arms. Kieran hugged her tighter, then whispered "Sleep here tonight. With me. Don't leave. " She stiffened slightly in surprise, and he quickly added, "No strings attached. I just bought a new bed, it's about the size of Montana. You won't even know I'm there -" By this time, Marly was trying to kiss him to shut him up, but he managed to continue, "and you can even have all the good pillows." *** Marly followed Kieran up the stairs to a single master bedroom. He wasn't joking; the king-sized bed looked like it belonged in a furniture showroom surrounded by huge, rough-hewn oak furniture and track lighting and annoying salespeople. It was, however, comfortingly un-made; so far his house had been very tidy and she wasn't sure she could handle a neat-freak. She spotted an open door to the master bathroom, carried her bag in. "Wow," she called, "Nice bathtub!" It seemed to have been built on the same scale as the bed. Kieran appeared in the doorway. "Yeah, I never use it. It comes standard with the houses in this development." Heck, one of us could just sleep in there." "Great idea," he replied, "Goodnight," and exited the bathroom, closing the door behind him. "Hey!!" No response. She laughed and turned to brush her teeth. When she came back into the bedroom, Kieran was sitting up on the bed, ankles crossed, leaning back against the headboard, still wearing his t-shirt and jeans. He held a remote control. An armoire that Marly had assumed must contain a television was open, revealling a small stereo system instead; she recognized Delerium, and said so. "It's nice background music," he said. She agreed. "I listen to it sometimes when I can't sleep." Marly walked around the bed to the side opposite Kieran, climbed under the blankets. Feeling a little silly, like she was twelve years old and at a sleepover at a friend's house, she burrowed down and pulled the blankets up. "Goodnight," she said cheerfully. Kieran took the cue, got under the blankets on his side, reached up and turned off the bedside lamp. "'Night." Now they lay in the dark, not touching, on opposite sides of the huge bed. The delicate electronic music floating through the darkness seemed to grow louder in the suddenly awkward silence. Marly, the car rides notwithstanding, didn't deal well with awkward silences. "Do you always sleep wearing jeans? Just curious," she asked. "Only when there are strange women in my bed." "What?! I may be a little... unusual... but I think 'strange' is pushing it. Besides, you asked me to. And furthermore--" "Can you keep it down?" he interrupted, "I'm trying to sleep." "Oh, pardon me, I'm sure." She said, feigning aggrievance. "Thanks." She kept quiet, determined to force him to make the next move. She waited. And waited. Just when she was starting to wonder if he actually had fallen asleep, he spoke. "So, are you ticklish?" he asked. "Wouldn't you like to know." "I could find out." "Trying to *sleep*, do you mind?" Silence. Then she felt him moving towards her, decided to catch him off guard, and reached for where his ribs should be. A full-on, wrestling tickle fight ensued. Before long, Marly ended up pinned beneath Kieran again, reminded again how strong he was. She worked out with weights and considered herself to be fairly strong for her smallish frame, but she had no chance against his wiry muscles. Both of them laughing, Marly gasping for breath as he reached down to tickle the back of one of her knees, she tried to escape again. "Listen," she said in mock seriousness, "don't make me hurt you." This provoked even more laughter from him. "Bring it on." "I will, when you least expect it... *Stop* that!" she shrieked. He had found a super-ticklish spot on the side of her ribcage. He stopped, leaned over her, wrists pinned above her head again. "You really-" he said, as she pretended to struggle, futilely, "-need to stop moving around so much." He kissed her, and this time the heat between them flared up instantly, like that first night at the party, kissing violently, passionately, almost mindlessly. Longing and attraction and frustration and months of loneliness ignited between them. They clung to each other as though they were in danger of being swept away. This time there would be no interruptions. Marly reached down and pulled Kieran's shirt up, past his shoulders; he sat back on his heels and pulled it the rest of the way off. Marly's eyes had adjusted to the darkness now, broken by a streetlight making patterns through the venetian blinds, and his chest was beautiful, smooth and flat and hairless like a teenager's, with small nipples. Marly sat up and ran her hands down his bare biceps, feeling her eyes grow heavy, breathless with desire. "Your turn," he said softly, and reached down to pull her shirt up. She raised her arms as he peeled the shirt off, then lay back. She had taken her bra off when she'd changed earlier; she was now naked to the waist. Her breasts were just a little too large for her frame, and she was sometimes self-conscious about her large nipples. But Kieran just gazed at down her with a rapt expression. He reached down with both hands and gently trailed just his fingertips across her nipples and aereolae. She gasped, and her nipples grew even harder. Then he leaned over her and began sucking on her right nipple, teasing it with his teeth, fingertips on the other, and she was soon writhing and moaning. He lay on her again, and again she could feel his erection through his jeans. She was so turned on by this point that she moaned and instintively began writhing and rubbing herself against him. He started breathing a little harder. Suddenly he stopped. She lay there, gasping for breath. "You need to calm down a little, I think. Let's get you out of the rest of those clothes". She reached down to help, but he grabbed her hands, startling her, pushed them back over her head. He leaned closer, whispered in her ear, "I didn't say you could do that." She struggled with him a little, because she wanted to feel his strong hands restraining her again. He pulled her shorts off, then carressed her vulva through the damp fabric of her panties, just missing her clitoris every time. Her breathing picked up again. She tried to arch up with her pelvis, to get his fingers in the right spot. "What do you want?" he asked. "Please.. touch me," she whispered. He began rubbing her clitoris through her panties with the ball of his thumb, a gentle side-to-side motion. "Harder?" he asked. "Yes.. please." Arching her back. "No." He stopped. She whimpered and exhaled, frustrated. Then she felt him back up and finally remove panties. She was completely naked now. Pausing for a moment, he pulled out a rubber band out of his pocket, got his hair back out of the way. With a hand on one thigh, he spread her legs gently. Then approached her from the side, leaned over and tentatively touched the tip of his tongue to her swollen clitoris. She moaned and arched her back again. He flicked his tongue rhythmically and she felt herself already approaching orgasm. But he stopped flicking, and instead sucked her clitoris gently between his lips. He slid a hand underneath her buttocks, thrust a long finger all the way into her vagina. It slipped in easily, and he began fucking her with it while he sucked. Then a second finger joined the first. He found her G-spot and massaged it gently. Normally she required more direct and constant stimulation to achive orgasm orally, but she was already close; the sucking and motions of his fingers were pushing her to the edge... And then he stopped. She whimpered. "Relax," he said. A hand on her stomach, pushing her arched back down against the bed. "Breathe. I mean it, relax all your muscles. Breathe. There, that's better. Try to stay relaxed." And he started again, licking gently this time, two fingers inside her again but not moving. He moved his tongue over her clitoris in slow circular motions. Excruciatingly slow. And yet she could feel the orgasm building again. She had never been able to come with this kind of slow stimulation before. She began to tense her thighs again, her back, working towards the orgasm... And he stopped again. "Relax." Nearly sobbing with frustration, she complied, willing her muscles into slackness, trying to control her breathing. He began again. The pattern repeated itself several times. Each time she got a little closer to orgasm before she tensed up and he stopped and ordered her to relax. Each time he made his movements a little more slow, more gentle. It began to seem like she was hanging indefinitely on the edge of orgasm, the peak just before, and the small part of her brain that was still coherent wondered if this was what he was intentionally trying to achieve. After an eternity on that edge, her muscles perfectly slack this time, her breathing slow and measured with only an occasional ragged gasp, she felt the orgasm coming, unstoppable this time. "Oh god," she groaned. "I'm going to come.." And then she was over the edge. He sucked her clitoris between his lips again, kept sucking gently througout her orgasm. No one had ever done that before. The sensation was indescribably erotic. She had never screamed during orgasm before either; now she did. Her vagina pulsed around his fingers, her body spasmed. It went on and on. He held onto her hips, sucking gently and steadily. Finally, her orgasm subsided, he stopped, gently withdrew his fingers. She was thankful for that, she was usually very sensitive right after orgasm. Small aftershocks made her twitch. He leaned over and kissed her then, and she eagerly accepted his lips and his tongue. His chest was cool and smooth against her breasts. Then he gently massaged her wrists while she sighed with pleasure. Her whole body felt limp. He laid next to her, pulled her over on her side to face him, put one arm under her head. She moved up against him closer, relishing the feel of his bare skin contrasting with the jeans he still wore. He put his free hand on the side of her neck and kissed her gently for a few moments. Then he stopped and said "I'm going to fuck you now. I can't wait any more." It was a simple, sincere statement. It was not a question. There was no hesitancy or doubt in his voice and he was not expecting an answer. He stood back up and removed the last of his clothing. She watched curiously; he was graceful even in something as mundane and awkward as the first undressing in front of a new lover. He opened a nightstand drawer, and she heard the rip of a condom package. She closed her eyes then. Felt him draw the blankets off her, and she shivered again, but then he kneeling over her, laying on top of her, his body warming her, kissing her again but not entering her. Finally, they were both naked together, skin to skin. The moment she'd tried to picture a hundred times since that first night. She reached down and pulled the blankets up over both of them; they were both shaking and she wasn't sure how much of it was because of the cold. They kissed more, her fingers tracing patterns on his back, running through his hair. She kissed his neck, shoulder, bit the flesh near his collarbone. Dug her nails into his back. She was finally able to retaliate a little, and took full advantage of it. His breathing grew ragged. She could feel his erect penis, encased in the condom, straining towards her. He moved to enter her. She reached down to guide him, and discovered for the first time, by feel, how large he was. She took a deep breath and guided his penis to her, then brought her hand back up and held on to the backs of his shoulders. He entered her slowly, by degrees. She was aroused but he was large and very hard, and it had been nearly a year since she'd had sex. He would enter a little, back out slightly, then push farther ahead. Every muscle in their bodies tensed in anticipation. Finally, he was all the way inside her. They both relaxed, and he kissed her again, just staying inside her for now, not moving. She returned the kiss, splayed fingers in his hair, heels again on the backs of his knees, enraptured with the moment and the feeling of having him inside her at last. He levered up on one elbow for a moment, took his other hand and raised her arm up above her head on the pillow. But he merely laid his arm on top of hers and interlocked his fingers with hers. Then he began to move, slowly at first, small increments. They were both moaning around each others' tongues as they kissed. He increased the movement by degrees. Slowly, so slowly. She wanted more, knew from experience now that she would not get it till he was ready. He withdrew almost completely, then thrust back inside her all the way. She begin moving her hips against him, in time with his slow assault, and he moaned louder. She had never had a man make noise like that during sex, and she loved it. Finally he settled into a steady pace and they rocked against each other. Eventually Kieran began fucking her in long, deep strokes, harder and harder. She felt herself nearing orgasm. She could rarely orgasm through intercourse alone, and she held onto the feeling, refusing to let it go. Then she balanced on the egde, waiting for him. "Please," she whispered in his ear, feeling the sweat along his back, "Please, I'm going to come soon. Please come with me. Please." The last word was part moan, and then she lost control, started coming. And a moment later Kieran's orgasm started, she could feel it, hear him moaning. They both seemed to orgasm for a long time, and the time after that spent in small, shuddering aftershocks, catching their breath, seemed to take even longer. Finally they were both quiet. Kieran withdrew from her carefully, headed to the bathroom. Marly rolled over on her side, breathing deeply. Kieran came back to bed and put his arm around her from behind. She moved back against him, sighed. "That was much better than a first time with someone is supposed to be," remarked Kieran eventually. "Mmmmm..." said Marly. They were quiet again for a moment. "Marly..." Kieran began "Yes?" she asked, more alert. "I just wanted you to know.. I've wanted you for a long time, ever since I used to see you with Craig. Before I ever made the connection to Claudia's." Marly was surprised at this revelation, but said nothing, let him continue. "I used to fantasize about holding you down like I did tonight. You always seemed so much in control, and I knew somehow that what you really needed was someone else to take control away from you for a while. That's why I never spoke to you back then, I knew I would never be able to hide how attracted I was to you, and that if you felt the same we'd be in trouble." Marly rolled over to face him and they shifted until they were comfortable again, legs and arms intertwined. "I wish I could say it was mutual," Marly began awkwardly, "but I hardly saw you back then. Other than the back of your head." "I know, it was intentional. It's ok." Marly paused. Then: "Do you want to tell me about Janine now?" Kieran sighed. "Fine, catch me in a weak moment. Ok, here we go. Everything was fine with Janine for the first couple of years, or so I thought. We didn't have a whole lot in common, but I loved her. I was paying for her college, we were going to buy a house together after she graduated, the whole nine yards. 'About a year and a half ago, someone started anonymousy forwarding me emails between Janine and this other guy. I couldn't figure out what was going on at first, then it became obvious. I didn't confront her about it, just kept watching these messages come in... I was pretty much in shock. After a few weeks, I'd seen enough to know they were the real thing; Janine would refer to conversations and arguments we'd had the night before... usually while saying what a control-freak asshole I was. I guess getting her college paid for was worth putting up with me. Anyway, I just kept reading this stuff, every day, without doing anything about it. It's hard to explain why. I think in a way, I was punishing myself for having trusted her... Trying to hurt myself enough that I would never trust anyone again. I turned into sort of a zombie, but if I was acting any different outwardly, she didn't notice. 'So finally one day about a month later I'm reading their daily correspondence, and I see this thread start up that doesn't make much sense - until I realize that she must be pregnant. She's talking about how she doesn't believe in abortion, so she's going to have the kid, but she has to stay with me long enough for me to finish paying for her college. So they agree that she's going to tell me the kid is mine, until she graduates, which at that point was about five months away, and then move out after graduation, move in with the other guy, have the kid with him... Emotionally speaking I sunk to a new low at that point, but I'd also had enough. 'When I came home that night, she asked if we could go out to a restaurant, and I agreed, knowing what was coming. She drops the bomb on me, tells me how much she loves me, how she wants to keep the baby, et fucking cetera... Apologizes for not treating me well recently. You can imagine. So finally, she looks at me and says "Well?", and I just said 'You have two choices. You can either get a DNA paternity test. Or you can move out tomorrow. Your decision.'" "Wow," said Marly softly. "Yeah, wow. She just stared at me in total shock. I thought she would try to strangle me right there in the restaurant. But in the end she decided to hedge her bets; she got it under control, said she was very hurt that I didn't trust her, and that she would get the test and expected a full apology when I turned out to be wrong. She even managed to start crying. An accomplished actress if nothing else." "Why on earth would she agree to go along with the test if she knew it wasn't yours?" "A few reasons, I think. First of all, it bought her a little time. Secondly, there was a possibility it was mine, or so she thought. But I knew something she didn't." "What's that?" "The only time I could have gotten her pregnant.. The very last time we had sex, before I started getting the email, I faked my orgasm." Marly burst out laughing. "What? What kind of woman can't tell whether a guy is really having an orgasm?" "What, you've never faked one and gotten away with it?" "Well, um... maybe. But it's different with a guy, there's the matter of, uh, ejaculation?" "She was also drunk, and passed out right afterwards without getting up. And, in retrospect, she wasn't too bright." "You weren't using any other kind of birth control?" Marly asked. "She was on the pill. From what I gathered from the email, she forgot to take a few pills that month." "So the kid STILL could have been yours, even if you didn't actually come.. you remember what they taught us in high school, right?" "Yeah, but it was a risk I was willing to take. Anyway, we went and did the tests a few weeks later. Gotta love modern technology; if you've got the cash they can do the tests at 10 weeks of pregnancy. And I wanted it over with. 'They mailed us the results, but I think she took them and threw them away before I saw them. I just went to the office and got a copy. Kid wasn't mine. So I took the next few days off from work, and while she was in class I moved all her stuff out to the garage, and changed all the door locks. I left the garage door open with the test results taped to the front of one of the boxes." "What did she do?" Marly asked. "I'm not sure. I basically spent the next three days locked up in the house, with the music blasting most of the time so I couldn't hear her knocking. Unplugged the phone. Didn't check my email. And finally I went out one morning and all her stuff was gone. She'd left this ripped-up picture of us in the middle of the garage floor. 'Then I went inside and emailed Elizabeth and told her that I'd thrown the bitch out and she didn't have to forward me the messages anymore." Marly laughed. "Yeah, I had a feeling it was Elizabeth, but I didn't want to say it. Janine's email account was on one of Elizabeth's servers?" "Yeah. And Elizabeth doesn't give a shit about ethics when it comes to protecting her friends. I don't think she would have arbitrarily snooped on Janine's email, she probably saw the two of them together somewhere and then decided to look into it. I don't know; she never responded and we've never discussed it. But I didn't get any more forwarded messages." Marly hugged Kieran tighter. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I'm glad you decided to trust someone again." "I didn't really decide," he said. "I didn't have any control over it." Marly pulled Kieran closer and kissed him deeply. They made love again, slowly this time; changing positions several times, getting to know each other's bodies more closely. And then they talked until the sun came up. <1st attachment end> ----- ASSM Moderation System Notice----- Notice: This post has been modified from its original format. The post was sent as an email attachment and has been converted by ASSTR ASSM moderation software. ----- ASSM Moderation System Notice----- ------- ASSM Moderation System Notice-------- This post has been reformatted by the ASSM Moderation Team due to inadequate formatting. -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderator: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Archive: Hosted by Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository | |, an entity supported entirely by donations. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+