Message-ID: <25330asstr$963835807@assm.asstr-mirror.org> From: LadyCyrrh@aol.com X-Original-Message-ID: <71.4f34d64.26a3f8f5@aol.com> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} The Annex Reviews, 7/17/00 Date: Mon, 17 Jul 2000 08:10:07 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: english, IceAltar The Annex Reviews, 7/17/00 by Lady Cyrrh (ladycyrrh@aol.com) Website: http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh OR http://home.aol.com/ladycyrrh The stories: Free Blow Jobs (Virago Blue): M/F, oral, Mardi Gras Eyeliner (Henrik Larsen): m/f teen, first Security Considerations (Boris Ludmenkov): M/f implied sex, mc, transf The Shield of the Jedi (Emma Woodhouse): M/M, M/m, rape, mc, milk, tort, h/c A Trip to the Mall (Sir Penguin): M/f teen, rape, voyr New Tech (J R D): M/M tg D/s, cybersex Free Blow Jobs [A+] Where posted: ASSM When posted: 6/4/00 Author: Virago Blue Address: VBwrites@aol.com A trio of college kids go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. As anyone who isn't media-blind knows, the annual celebration is a prime opportunity to watch females flash their boobs for cheap beads thrown by hooting males. I'm not sure if this is a long-standing tradition or a recent development. It's also worth noting that some males have taken to showing their dicks in the same manner, for the same booty. Anyway, the trio watches the Saturnalia on the street below from a balcony and sees something unusual: Heather leaned over, focusing on the pair. The skinny woman wore a tank top with the words "Free Blow Jobs" airbrushed across the back in red and black. Her tiny arms flexed as she stroked the man, her cheeks were sunken in with her effort. Her stringy hair was pulled back into a tail...The woman's head would stop bobbing for a minute, her arm pumping harder as she paused. Heather saw the purple knob of the man's penis in the whore's hand as she jerked him off. She said a few words to the man, he nodded, before she stuck him back in her mouth. The man seemed to change positions for a moment, tensing almost. The woman stopped bobbing and clamped down on him, her head buried in his baggy jeans and clumps of beads. She eased up off his penis and threw her head back, mouth wide open in triumph. The crowd roared, cameras clicked. Heather saw the white of his semen in her mouth. The whore raised her arms in triumph and made a show of swallowing it down. That pretty much says it all about New Orleans during Mardi Gras. This was a raunchy story rather than an erotic or porny one, but it caught with crystalline clarity the mood of the city without one word too many, in the way of a small vignette you'd see in an "alternative" travel guide. For that I give it an A+. Eyeliner [A+] Where posted: ASSM When posted: 6/29/00 Author: Henrik Larsen Address: henlar@hotmail.com Two young teens who have just started to date get together for an afternoon of the hanging around that young teens are wont to do. They're in her bedroom, on her bed, when the narrator picks up an eyeliner pencil and asks what it is. Amused at his ignorance, his girlfriend demonstrates on her arm; and seeing the possibilities, he takes it up next, and continues the sketch on her. The story proceeds like that, the two swapping doodles back and forth, until eventually the artwork begins to stray: I was so excited I could hardly get hold of her shirt again. I'd temporarily forgot all about my beautiful flower. Very cautiously, I lifted the tight shirt up over her tiny tits; the first tits I had ever seen up close. I'd seen topless women on the beach, but only stolen glimpses; this was for real. She didn't wear a bra. She didn't need one and I guess they didn't come in her size either. Her tits were small. Two cones at the top of her ribcage, standing up very proud. On top of each cone was another tiny cone, topped with a very small nipple. I noticed that the freckles from her face spread down over the top of her chest and there were even a few on her tits too. I was thrilled beyond my wildest fantasies. We were both breathing heavily, looking at Annie's tits. Annie stared as much as I did. I barely dared to move at all, fearing that Annie would back out and pull down her shirt again. But she didn't. She didn't do anything else either and I was suddenly paralysed. I mean, I wanted to touch her, badly, but I didn't dare. 'I want to draw on you too,' Annie suddenly said and sat up. It all winds up with mutual masturbation, not penetration, which is the more realistic scenario for young teens embarking on their first explorations. But make no mistake, there's more sex ahead of them. This was an excellent story about first times, the author catching the sexual curiosity and hesitation of the boy and girl very well. The young man's voice was especially well done...it was all the hotter for its innocent tone, which is very to affect in a sex story. Everyone should have had a first time like this, but those who didn't...can now have one secondhand. Probably the best teen story of the year so far. Security Considerations [A] Where posted: ASSM When posted: 7/5/00 Author: Boris Ludmenkov Address: borisl@room3b.demon.co.uk I like mind control stories, but I always feel slightly ashamed for reading them. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the wish-fulfillment factor combined with one's deepest, darkest nightmares. Who wouldn't want to have total power of life and death over other human beings? And who in their right mind would want a stranger to have total power of life and death over them? Of course, the fun in the stories comes from the sexual spin in just these situations, with the writer taking the POV of the Controller, or the Controlled, and either way it creates a kinky intensity I've seen only in the more extreme bondage tales. With mind control, literally *anything* is possible, because the normal limits on human behavior don't exist. That said, there's always holes of logic in an mc tale. For example, why do other people never notice the machinations of the Controller? Sure, they have a certain power, but there's only one of them, and millions of free-thinking law enforcement, intelligence, and military officers. And given this, how do they hide themselves? And what exactly do they do with all the power they have? The author of this story takes those questions and gives them a run. He postulates that the mind controllers of the world have formed an elite, secret society to protect themselves from mundanes, and the story is told entirely in dialogue as a member of this society confronts an mc rogue who has put them in danger with his misuse of the power. Amusingly, the rogue has used his powers the way most males in mc stories do: "Oh, there were so many! Do you know how I found you? You pulled the same stupid stunt not once but three times. And in the same state! You took a liking to a teenage girl (girls in one case, twin sisters). And so that the parents wouldn't try to find them, you went and wiped the minds of the parents. Erased all memory of their children...[But] When aunts and uncles and grandparents ring up and ask 'By the way, how's little Judy, the light of my life?' and parents answer 'Who's Judy?' it rings alarms. It rings alarms with cops and shrinks and ministers and social services and God alone knows who else and when they start to compare notes... It was on the Internet last Tuesday. I was on a flight to Florida on the Wednesday. On the Thursday evening I found you, you repulsive little man. Living the life of Riley in Florida, smashed out of your brains on coke and booze and trying to fuck yourself to death with teenage bimbos. Gods! The things you did to warp those young women's bodies. Those ludicrous tits on them! And their brains were worse! You made them stupider than you are and that's saying something!" The story ends with a twist I'm not going to reveal, but it was very funny, and seems to be aimed at other mc writers. There's no outward sex in the story, but it's recommended, because it turns the genre on its ear and shows us how silly it really it is, while also showing us how naughty it is. The Shield of the Jedi [A] Available from: http://www.geocities.com/emma_woodhouse_2000 Address: 6/19/00 Author: Emma Woodhouse Slash amuses me greatly at times. Writers of the more violent stuff often have the unspoken conceit that what they write is more ennobled than similarly-themed porn because they deal with taboo topics as they relate to character and plot rather than exploiting them for all they're worth. Rarely will you find slash on a porn website or porn newsgroup. But hardcore slash is still hardcore porn even if it keeps different company, and though the writer may say the juicy bits are there for character development or plot drama the sheer amount of detail given over to them tells us it's something more. In a nutshell, they're just as kinky and exploitive as anything of Parker's or Phil Phantom's or Steven S. Davis's, particularly when the stories include extended rape and torture scenes, as this one does. The story takes place in the Star Wars universe, before "The Phantom Menace." Young Obi-Wan has been chosen as Qui-Gonn Jinn's apprentice at the Jedi Academy. But Qui-Gonn is kidnapped on an away mission and chained up, naked, in a dungeon with walls of Force- absorbing stone. Darth Sidious is the one responsible, and after much cackling and gloating he rapes Qui-Gonn again and again and milks him of his semen. Woodhouse is one of the better Star Wars slash writers and includes in her story touches of D/s and mind control, along with some man-boy love as Sidious draws out Qui-Gonn's secret desire for his fifteen-year-old apprentice: "Look at him fondle himself, the little tease! He knows they want him, he knows that only you can have him! See how he tickles his nipples and strokes slowly along his hard, hot cock! He is squirming with desire, desire for you, wanting this so badly, the seal of your possession." "As you approach your place, he moans, he calls for his Master. He raises his hips so you can see that he is prepared for you, that he needs you to claim him, take him." Qui-Gon was panting now, thrusting with his hips. "Yes! Move closer. Open your trousers and place those charming legs over your shoulders. The room is hot, the air thick with the scent of sex, and the group moans in unison as you thrust into your Padawan, claiming him publicly as your own." Qui-Gon groaned aloud, thrusting faster into the moist heat. His head was swimming. "Thrust into him, strongly, powerfully! Yes, he is yours, only yours for life. He knows it, he loves it, he pushes back against you, crying out for his Master's seed, his Master's mark within him!" Qui-Gon threw back his head and howled loudly as he came, feeling Obi- Wan writhing beneath him. Then he hung heavily from his chains, panting harshly. His eyes were closed. There's even a sort of long, loving coda to the rape after Obi-Wan comes to the rescue; he examines Qui-Gonn's abused body and slips him some healing Force up his damaged rectum. Hmmm...rape, mc, pedo, AND milking...I wonder if the writer knew exactly what she was calling up? These bits did turn out to be pretty hot, but since I am not a fan of the movie, they were lost on me if they were meant as character sketches. But I wonder if that was what the author really meant. The rest of the story, which concerned Obi-Wan's search and eventual rescue of Qui-Gonn, lacked the detail, suspense and intensity of the rape scenes, leading me to speculate that the "straight" story functioned as a sort of excuse to justify the writing of the rape scenes -- a screen of respectability so to speak. Many published science fiction writers use plot the same way -- as a cover for the kink -- and, unlike mainstream literature where critics often react in horror (e.g., Lolita, American Psycho) the SF writers get away with it because of the genre's pulpy roots and speculative nature. I actually wish the author had gone more over the top with the idea than she had; there seemed to be a conscious holding back on her part. But then slash writers prefer to stick to conventional (read: publishable) writing styles in general. Musings aside, the writing was good, and if Obi-Wan accomplishes his mission a little too easily, the rape scenes were angsty, and there was plenty of emotional incest. I had the feeling that the writer received two distinct thrills from the piece: first in its conception and writing, then in its transgression. George Lucas, and most conventional Star Wars fans, would react violently against this spin on the characters. It's a double raspberry of sorts on the part of the author. A Trip to the Mall [B-/C+] Where posted: ASSM When posted: 7/8/00 Author: Sir Penguin Address: sirpenguin@sirpenguin Jesus, was this story bad. A sad-sack loser hangs out at the mall every day to watch the teenage mall rats in their "slutty mall clothes" -- cutoffs, miniskirts, tank tops -- and fantasize about violating them. One day he witnesses a group of the teens ostracize another for not having cool enough clothes and follows her as she goes from store to store trying on sexy duds. Since she hasn't got money to buy anything, she decides to proposition the weirdo following her around: "Do you like looking at girls, Mister?" Then she goes with him to his car where she disrobes to give him the eyeful they agreed upon, but he loses control and rapes her instead, saying "Cum for me you little slut" and "You're a little fucking WHORE" and after struggling a bit she pants, "Oh fuck yes, I love your huge cock, oh god fuck meeee!" I'll say it again: Jesus, was this story bad. I've been critting sex stories for four years and I will happily read about fisting, scat, needles drilled through nipples and cannibalism without wincing. But the idea of a stalker tailing and then raping a young teen -- who winds up enjoying it and agrees to become his jail-bait mall squeeze -- squicks the hell outa me. The problem was the tone. Though otherwise well written, the story was too mundane and realistic for a fantasy and too much of a pervert's wish-fulfillment for realism. I mean, what modern 14-year-old weaned on the Backstreet Boys is going to dig being called a whore and a slut? And while it's not unheard of for a teen to enjoy her first time, why would she continue a relationship with a socially and sexually inept pervert? Sure, she wants the money, but like most prostitutes, that doesn't mean *liking* her trick or his dick. As with last week's review of "Brother, Busted" I maintain that a taking- advantage-of-a-teen tale needs either a cartoony touch that lets us know it's an out-there fantasy ("Bountiful Plantation") or realism that lets us know it's a sexual study (Uther Pendragon's "Duty") Either style can be as arousing as the author makes it. But casting a wish-fulfillment as a serious tale of May-December desire...Yuck. New Tech [B-/C+] Where posted: ASSM When posted: 7/3/00 Author: J R D Address: jrdss@micronet.net For the third time in these reviews I'm going to say "Yuck." (The second was for "The $10,000 Blowjob" which I decided to pass on. I've got limits.) Two more socially and sexually inept guys are fond of fooling around in Internet chat rooms, one role-playing a strapping she-male dominatrix, the other a submissive she-male slave. Hmm. Nothing intrinsically wrong with this. But wait...they're computer programmers! They email their code back and forth to critique when they aren't whipping and foot-licking each other! Now, would you honestly entrust your vital business, medical, and financial records to software systems configured by these guys? I wouldn't. And as an amateur programmer, I'm hopping mad at the stereotype that computer buffs can only relate sexually through silly role-playing games over a modem line. Sarcasm aside (I wasn't being totally serious, by the way, but I'll let you decide how irked I was) I found this story well-written but bland, even though a fair amount of imagination went into it. That is, the writing style was very linear and direct: "They did this. They did that" and none of the writer's personality showed through...it was like white bread, vanilla pudding, cottage cheese. About half the stories on ASS have this problem. Technically there's nothing wrong with them, but they're just...boring, like everyone's read the same "How to Write Fiction: The Basics" book. And the two characters showed absolutely no passion or real involvement in what they were doing...it's like their libidos were on autopilot. Plus the whole concept just squicks me. Computer geeks pretending to be chicks with dicks. Yuck. I'd better stop now. ________________________________________________________________ Comments to: ladycyrrh@aol.com Website---> http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderator: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Archive: Hosted by Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository | |, an entity supported entirely by donations. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+