Message-ID: <22967asstr$951448209@assm.asstr-mirror.org> From: "Az Il" X-Original-Message-ID: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Language: en X-Sent-Mail: off Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Language: en Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Subject: {ASSM} Mother Goosed: The ASS* Nursery Rhymes Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2000 22:10:10 -0500 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: assm-admin The other day I posted an incest version of Jack and Jill on the incest groups, in response to a mention of J&J in a post. It met with a tepid response, but I'm not easily discouraged (and I'm very easily amused), so I fooled around with some more of the better known nursery rhymes (and revised J&J slightly). The following are the results. If you like them, I'll do some more. I may do some more even if you don't like them. MOTHER GOOSED: THE ASS* NURSERY RHYMES by Azil (Copyright 2000) JACK AND JILL: THE INCEST VERSION Jack and Jill Went up the hill To fetch a pail of water. When they got to the top Jack said, "I'm your pop, And I think I'll fuck you, daughter." So Jill sucked her dad Which drove him quite mad, And laid back and pulled down her pants. Then Jack fucked her silly, As did her brother Billy, And all of her uncles and aunts. MARY, MARY: THE FEMDOM VERSION Mary, Mary, Quite contrary How is your dungeon, lass? "Filled with men in chains, Singing sad refrains, As I beat their bloody ass." HEY-DIDDLE-DIDDLE: THE INTERRACIAL PREGNANCY VERSION Hey diddle-diddle, The cat and the fiddle, The cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed To see such fun, And the dish ran off with the spoon. The dish and the spoon Were back quite soon With the dish knocked up, I suspect. The spoon said, "I like to make her, She's much better than the saltshaker, And I believe in inter-utensil sex." LITTLE BOY BLUE: THE GAY-PEDO VERSION Little Boy Blue Come blow my cock Your mouth's so warm And I'm hard as a rock. We gotta do it now Come suck my cock Mom will be home At six o'clock. THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT: THE PROSTITUTION VERSION This is the house that Jack built. These are the whores That live in the house that Jack built. These are the Johns Who fuck the whores That live in the house that Jack built. These are the cocks Belonging to the Johns Who fuck the whores That live in the house that Jack built. These are the sores That grow on the cocks Belonging to the Johns Who fuck the whores That live in the house that Jack built. These are the docs Who treat the sores That grow on the cocks Belonging to the Johns Who fuck the whores That live in the house that Jack built. These are the cops Who follow the docs Who treat the sores That grow on the cocks Belonging to the Johns Who fuck the whores That live in the house that Jack built. These are the bribes Jack pays the cops Who follow the docs Who treat the sores That grow on the cocks Belonging to the Johns Who fuck the whores That live in the house that Jack built. MISS MUFFET: THE CLERGY SEX VERSION Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; There came a confessor Who came to molest her, Then said she needed to pray. ONE, TWO: THE TEEN SEX VERSION One, two, We love to screw. Three, four, We fuck some more. Five, six, She sucks my dick. Seven, eight, We masturbate. Nine, ten, We fuck again. Eleven, twelve, In her pussy I delve. Thirteen, fourteen, I fuck Kathleen. Fifteen, sixteen, Her tits between. Seventeen, eighteen, My teenage queen. Nineteen, twenty, That should be plenty. GOOSEY GANDER: THE ANAL/BESTIALIALITY/SCAT VERSION Goosey, goosey, gander, Whither dost thou wander? Upstairs and downstairs And in my lady's chamber. I stick my bill up her butt It makes her shake and shiver. I wiggle it around, it comes out brown, And then she really delivers. THE LITTLE GIRL WITH A CURL: THE PEDO GROUP SEX VERSION There was a little girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead; When she was good, she was very, very good, And when she was bad she was horrid. Luckily she was good, said the boys in the 'hood, Who liked to fuck her every way. They stuck it in her ass, they stuck it in her mouth, And said, "What fun to play!" THE PUMPKIN-EATER: THE ORAL SEX VERSION Peter, Peter, pussy-eater, Had a wife and couldn't keep her; He put her in a pumpkin shell, And there he kept her very well. The wife said, "It's hell To live in a shell, Though I love my Peter." "I need more than a tongue, In my pussy so young, What I need is Peter's peter." THE OLD LADY IN THE SHOE: THE HOOKER VERSION There was an old lady Who lived in a shoe. She had so many daughters She didn't know what to do. So she opened up a trade In the comely young maids, Offering them to any and all takers. She said, "To run a brothel, I know some say is awful, But I do quite well with shoemakers." OLD MOTHER HUBBARD: THE BESTIALITY VERSION Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard To get her poor dog a bone. When she turned to reach The dog broke from his leash And gave the old bag his hard one. She said, "Oh, Rex, I didn't know sex, Was the thing you were hungering for." "Let's go to the bed, My legs I'll spread, And your bone can fill me some more." -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderator: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Archive: Hosted by Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository | |, an entity supported entirely by donations. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+