Message-ID: <22324asstr$948147003@assm.asstr-mirror.org> From: Celeste801@aol.com X-Original-Message-ID: <84.5c3c41.25b49e8e@aol.com> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-MIME-Autoconverted: from quoted-printable to 8bit by sara.asstr-mirror.org id LAA27250 Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Celestial Reviews 352 January 17 Date: Mon, 17 Jan 2000 17:10:03 -0500 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation X-Story-Submission: X-Moderator-ID: dennyw, gill-bates Celestial Reviews 352 – January 17, 2000 Note: I wrote this about a week ago. Then I had to leave town suddenly to take care of my mother, who was seriously ill. I think I'll be back on track real soon. If you have sent me reviews or stories, I'll try to catch up in the next issue. If you want to help out with the reviews, drop me a line. This Just In Department: In Florida, a Fort Lauderdale phone sex operator won a "minimal" workers' compensation settlement after claiming she was injured after regularly "pleasuring herself" at work. Her lawyer said she developed carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands from masturbating up to seven times a day while speaking with callers. "She was told to do whatever it takes to keep the person on the phone as long as possible," said the lawyer. Second note: Q: What's the difference between a downhill putt and a blowjob? A: You'll never hear a guy getting a bj say "slow down, stop, BITE YOU COCKSUCKER!" Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? A: Put a nipple on it. Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your whole week. Third note: A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shalt not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife." Fourth note: During an international gynecology conference, an English doctor and a French doctor were discussing unusual cases they had treated recently. "Only last week" the Frenchman said "a woman came to see me with a clitoris like a melon!" "Don't be absurd" the Brit exclaimed. "It couldn't have been that big. My God, man, she wouldn't have been able to walk if it were." "Aah, you English, always thinking about size" replied the Frenchman. "I was talking about the flavor!" ===================== Celestial Reviews Index: ===================== "Psychology" by Michael K. Smith (brother/sister teen sex) 10, 10, 10 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565173982 "Jane" by CDB (girl fists guy) 5, 5, 5 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565279957 "Ginger" by John Jameson (unselfish hedonism) 10, 9.5, 9.5 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=562607536 "For Elise" by Uther Pendragon (family romance) 10, 10, 10 http://www.nyx.net/~anon584c/story/elise.txt "Goodbye Columbus" by Vickie Morgan (fantasy train) 9.5, 8, 8 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563978736 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998560 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998569 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998565 "The Pink Bow" by Ink (cherry popping) 8, 8, 8, http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565924744 "My Demon Lover" by Grumbles (answer to a prayer) 10, 10, 10 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564149989 "Pretend" by Al Steiner (cheating) 8.5, 10, 10 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563141013 "'Twas the Day After Christmas" by Lisa & Sharon (FF Xmas romance) 9, 8, 7 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566103937.1 ===================== Guest Reviews: ===================== "Mistaken Identity" by Rob Morton (sex with wrong person). Myers: (No rating) http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566557410 "Black Susan" by Aceinthe (sex slavery). BillyG: 8, 7, 5 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=560262504 "A Stranger's Pleasure" by Roadkill (ghostly sex). Mary: 7, 8, 8 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559924469 "The Virgin Huntress " by Margie Donnadieu (control). Myers: (No rating) http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564880005 "Yoko" by Richard Rivers (cross-cultural romance). Nick: 10, 10, 10 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559292637 "Jan Shares" by Dorsai (older/younger romance). BillyG: 10, 10, 10 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565358695 "Cherry Blossoms " by Margie Donnadieu. Nick: 10, 10, 10 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567054060 "Dirty and Dangerous" by Erin Halfelven (lesbian and hetero sex). Stromer: 8, 6, 5 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569805445 ===================== Reposted Reviews: ===================== * "A Dialogue Lesson" by Felix Lance Falkon (mm sex & grammar) 10, 10, 10 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567584573 * "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (slut training) 10, 10, 10 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566830997 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567231454 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567688897 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=568495742 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=568943851 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569268346 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569805440 * "The Black Silk Camisole" by Tiramisu (writer's block) 10, 9.5, 9.5 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?423089984 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=423089984 ===================== Here are the Reviews: ===================== "Psychology" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith1@bellsouth.net). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565173982 Sherry is a high school student taking an elective psychology course from a teacher who is sort of cute. In a random drawing, she receives an assignment to write a paper on incest, which she perceives to be a difficult topic. Not being familiar with this newsgroup, she attacks the topic by visiting various and sundry libraries. She reads and reads, but she feels she is getting nowhere. The psychological explanation for her frustration is that the topic is formal operational. That is, Sherry needs concrete experiences to establish schemata through which to assimilate current information in order to make appropriate accommodations in her cognitive structures, which will enable her to engage in the generative activity necessary to seek equilibration on this topic. But that must come later in the psych course, and so she turns to her brother for assistance. Fortunately, her brother, who is also a hunk, has already taken psychology. Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for her, the poor guy is reading "The Mill on the Floss," which was written by a deceased British person of androgynous nomenclature – that is, by a woman named George. Anyway, she decides that she will interview her friends about their brothers and his friends about their sisters and him about her – or at least some subset thereof. To make a long story short, they invoke the No Harm No Foul Rule and they indulge heavily in the 69 position. I won't give you any more details. Instead I shall divulge to you a secret from the popular music of the 1960s. Remember how they used to play records backwards to get secret messages? Remember the secret words to "Louie Louie"? Well, the singers and songwriters used an even more devious trick to advocate incest in the Peter, Paul, and Mary song, "If I Had a Hammer." They hid the real meaning behind a simple rule of grammar that everyone has overlooked until now. The key is in the line, "I'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters all over this land." If that statement were about whites loving blacks and such, then it would be "AMONG my brothers and my sisters." But it says "love BETWEEN my brothers and my sisters." Ergo, it's incest. QED. Incidentally, I have a virile brother. I am glad I refrained from having sex with him during our mutual adolescence, even though I liked him a lot and still do. This is mostly because we have been able to talk to each other about our sexual fantasies and activities, especially later in life. I honestly don't think I could do this with a former sexual partner as well as I can with a really close friend who knows nothing of the intimate details of my body. I think I can also feel a lot closer to his wife as a friend than would be possible if he and I were former lovers. My point is that there is some basis for the incest taboo that goes beyond idle superstition and sexual repression. I hope Sherry mentioned that in her term paper. Whatever the case, this is a very good story. It's good to see Michael K. Smith writing again. Ratings for "Psychology" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Jane" by CDB (freeb75@hotmail.com). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565279957 This author inserted the <*> in the heading, asking for a review. I mention this, because I don't want to appear to be picking on an innocent author. I think the author has a fairly clear fantasy that he wants to present to us. I say a "fantasy," because I honestly doubt that he has ever engaged in the fisting activity that he describes here. I think it would hurt like hell the way he describes it. Nevertheless, it's a sexy idea. It just needs more development. And better grammar might help convey the idea more clearly. This is a good example of a baseline from which to improve. Ratings for "Jane" Athena (technical quality): 5 Venus (plot & character): 5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5 "Ginger" by John Jameson (Jameson1780@altavista.com). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=562607536 The narrator is a sailor who is a brother-like friend to a beautiful woman named Ginger, who has never had an orgasm while a guy ate her pussy. He explains that if he were to do that for her, he wouldn't expect a blowjob in return. He'd prefer to get off by fucking her brains out after she had a whole string of orgasms. This is so foreign to Ginger's experience that he has to explain it again to her and then show her in explicit detail. This is an excellent story, and I hope to see more from this author. Ratings for "Ginger" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9.5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5 "For Elise" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). http://www.nyx.net/~anon584c/story/elise.txt In this episode of the Brennan Saga the author does his usual good job of blending together the ordinary and the titillating – the forthcoming baptism of their baby, the fact that Bob's sister is planning to bring with her a boyfriend whom they don't know and who will stay with them at their house, breastfeeding the baby while engaging in sexual foreplay, figuring out how to get Bob and his father to be nicer to each other, and some very pleasant cunnilingus – for starters. Some authors treat sex during lactation as some sort of weird fetish. This author treats it as natural and exciting, which was pretty much the way I expe rienced it myself. I know I am sounding like a broken record, but what I love most about the Brennan stories is that they fuck at the weirdest times – and I mean that in the nicest way – that is, the most natural times. They fuck after discussions of economics or history, after discussions about Pop Brennan's management theories, while Bob is sucking the extra milk out of his wife's breasts, and while Bob is retelling (as a bedtime story to the baby in the nearby crib) the story of Mom and Dad's first emboinkment, which occurred during the camping trip that comprised their honeymoon and which was a topic of a separate story. Also as usual, the author inserts what I'll call erudite humor without being condescending. For example, "Ooooh," she {the baby} said. "Non, ma jeune fille," he {Bob} said. "It's not August. It's November. Say 'noh vom brrr.'" To understand this, you have to know that the French word for August is pronounced "Ooooh," even though the French spell it in a god-awful way that gives the distinct impression of pronuncitory impossibility. It also helps if you can figure out what "Non, ma jeune fille" means, but most readers can guess that from the context. Even if you don't understand these lines, you can just skip them and go on with the story. But what I like is the intimation that people can be both intellectual and sexy – and that neither intelligence nor sexiness necessarily precludes religion. Anyway, The Boyfriend happens to be a black boyfriend. I often denounce stories that are labeled "interracial" (or more often "interractial"), because they give the racist impression that black guys have monster cocks that white women carve – er, crave. This story embraces no such nonsense. The author doesn't even put an abbreviation for "interracial" in the heading – and this is exactly as it should be. It really is sensible to treat race as an important part of a person's personality – and even as part of the reason why a person might like another person – without resorting to inaccurate stere otypes. I think I'll nominate this story for Oprah's book club, so that we can spread this message of love among our brothers and our sisters all over this land. So, then, why is the story entitled "For Elise"? It has something to do with Beethoven's "Fuer Elise," which, in turn, really has a "u" with an umlaut instead of a "ue" between the F and r. This bagatelle was composed by Beethoven on a leaf in an album. The manuscript wasn't discovered and published until 1867, which was after the author was dead and buried. Ludwig Nohl, who found and published it, appears to have misread Beethoven's writing of the name "Therese" (von Brunswick). She was the woman Beethoven reputedly loved, and it was among her papers that Nohl discovered the manuscript. "Fuer Elise" is one of the very best known and loved short works for piano. It also appeared in a music box during my Celestial childhood. I'll leave it to you to make a more complete connection with this story. Ratings for "For Elise" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Goodbye Columbus" by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563978736 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998560 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998569 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563998565 This is another story in the Fantasy Train series. If you've read other stories in that series, you'll enjoy this one more than if this is your first encounter with the Fantasy Train. In this story Vickie Morgan cooperates with a leprechaun to keep Columbus from discovering America. She does this because American pundits on a.s.s.d. have been giving her grief over the Britishisms she tends to use in her stories. {Incidentally, my opinion, which is the right one, is that it is good for writers to use their own dialects and to make references to idiosyncratic minutiae that will be unfamiliar to some readers. This strategy enables readers to expand their horizons and (sometimes) even to learn something about people from faraway places, like England, Australia, and even New Jersey or Canada. However, authors have to be aware of the danger of losing their audiences by doing this; and so it is usually best to introduce the "foreign" elements in a context that will enable the readers to enjoy them rather than be befuddled by them. I think psychologists refer to this as "optimal discrepancy" – people enjoy information that is different from what they already know, but not so different that they cannot assimilate it without difficulty.} Anyway, Vickie naively assumes that if Columbus doesn't discover America, no one else will. I suppose this is the way people think in Yorktown – er, Shire - Yorkshire. A more plausible thought is that if Columbus hadn't discovered America, then somebody else would have – perhaps the Russians when their cosmonauts were orbiting the earth. So Vickie teams up with a leprechaun who assumes her form and fucks Columbus and he turns the ship around. But then the other travelers on the Fantasy Trai n remind Vickie that Hans Solo would not exist if America were not discovered, and so she reverses the reversal. This is a cute story, but it's not long on sex. Ratings for "Goodbye Columbus" Athena (technical quality): 9.5 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 "The Pink Bow" by Ink (inkpost@aol.com). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565924744 The title refers to a decoration on a young girl's underpants, as the narrator studies her at a boring Christmas party full of doctors and lawyers. He is 26, she 16. And so Mom sends Jack to entertain the little nymphet – in her bedroom, no less. So he pops her cherry in a most delightful manner and then steals her pink bow while she takes a shower. That's not a good idea in a houseful of New York lawyers . They would have your ass for stealing a ribbon like that. The grammar has its awkward moments. In addition, as the disclaimer points out, in real life having sex with minors is illegal and dreadfully out of fashion, even if the little vixen flirts with you. Nevertheless, this is an interesting and sexy fantasy. In reality, I'm a lot more fun now than when I was a naïve virgin. However, men like to think it would be great fun (for both parties) to pop a little girl's cherry, and this story romanticizes that fantasy. Needless to say, this story reminded me of a related joke. A teen-age girl had long been infatuated with a popular local disc jockey and finally got to meet him at the station's open house. When she seductively suggested they "get better acquainted," he took her into a vacant studio and unzipped his pants. "I suppose you know what this is," he whispered. "I sure do!" she said, grasping it in her hand and putting it near her mouth. "I'd like to say hello to Mike, Bobby, Cindi, and the whole gang down at Gino's Pizzeria!" Ratings for "The Pink Bow" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 "My Demon Lover" by Grumbles (grumbles@juno.com). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564149989 The problem with this story – and the ONLY problem, by the way – is its title. A demon is an evil spirit. Secondary definitions from my unabridged dictionary include a mischievous child and a policeman or detective (in Australian slang). The word can also refer to a person who displays excessive energy – as in "Celeste worked like a demon to get her reviews done on time." The young lady who shows up at the narrator's door in this story is anything but a demon. Maybe the author meant to suggest that the young lady was mysterious. I dunno; I'm not going to think about it for a while. What the guy does is open the door on a rainy night, and there's his best wet dream, asking if she can come inside and dry off. The preceding sentence is replete with so many double meanings that you ought to be able to figure out the rest of the plot yourself. If the author wanted to suggest something spiritual, an "answer to a prayer" would make more sense than a "demon." Personally, had I written this story, I would have called it "My Lewd and Lascivious, Lithe and Luscious Little Lover Lily." But that's because a little demon inside me persuades me to use alliteration more than I should. Anyway, you should definitely read this story. Ratings for "My Demon Lover" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Pretend" by Al Steiner (al_steiner@hotmail.com). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563141013 The girl is a flirtatious cock teaser, and the guy is her boss. She'll never really put out for anyone but her husband; he intends to follow the rules of propriety in the workplace. But then she gets into trouble by flirting in a bar with men who become pushy, and he rescues her by pretending to be her boyfriend. Then he himself becomes pushy in a nice sort of way. Some of the grammar is awkward, but the problems lie mostly in punctuation. Ignore them and enjoy the story. Ratings for "Pretend" Athena (technical quality): 8.5 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "'Twas the Day After Christmas" by Lisa & Sharon (BYMSAP@aol.com). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566103937.1 When you're bi and have had your girlfriend around since college days, you know that the possibility exists that for one of you, or both, Mr. Right might someday come along. That's Linda's problem, and Christmas is a bad time to feel this lonely. Fortunately she goes for a walk and finds in the woods another lonely and lovely woman named Claire. Though she admits that she has never been involved with another woman in the way Linda has been with Sheila, Claire conjectures that when your heart and soul are hurting, the gender of the person who has created the hurt doesn't really matter. The hurt is just as real and painful. Christmas day ends with a sort of melancholy uplift, but the next morning Claire shows up at Linda's house – wearing nothing but a red bow and a smile under her fur coat. Imagine that. A good time is had by both. It turns out that the gender of the person healing the hurt doesn't really matter either. Ratings for "'Twas the Day After Christmas" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7 ===================== Guest Reviews: ===================== "Mistaken Identity" by Rob Morton (rkhaan@ix.netcom.com), Guest review by Dave Myers. http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566557410 This is a great little story that gives away its secret way too soon. Like, um... in the title. Durn if that doesn't beat all, cuz the writing is pretty good through the story, but the suspense is all gone. If I were the author, I'd honestly want to repost it later with a new title. If you can guess, our fearless 15 year old bushwacker manages to have sex with the wrong person. You probably won't have a hard time figuring out who. In the end, it all works out pretty pat. Give the author some credit for wrapping things up better than some other writers would have, as the situation could have been overdone. It's a good, quick read. The central sex scene is drawn out nicely. Other than that... it's pretty much stroke material. Similar to what they say in the Holiday Inn Express commercials, it won't make you smarter, but you may feel better afterwards. "Black Susan" by aceinthe_hole@hotmail.com. Guest Review by BillyG (hayden@mindless.com). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=560262504 In the words of the author, "...a short, balding, slightly overweight 65 year old man" wasn't able to establish a conventional romantic relationship, so he elected to sponsor a 19-year-old black girl from Uganda to a university in Boston. So where's the sex? Well, there's a hook - to earn her way, Susan must become his sex slave. Is this accomplished cleverly? Hardly. On Susan's arrival, the author's seduction carried all the finesse of a blacksmith anvil. As the story unfolds, Susan simply capitulates to whatever demands that are put in front of her. In time, it's established that Susan is bisexual and of course, the author (who remains unnamed) has the pleasure of his live-in black girl and her girlfriends. The story unfolds largely by narrative so, aside from the author's personality - a moderately disagreeable on - we never really get to know the other players. I found very few points of connection in this tale and while it may have been satisfying for the author, it fails as a story. Ratings for "Black Susan" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 7 BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 5 "A Stranger's Pleasure" by Roadkill (commander_bat@hotmail.com). Guest Review by Mary Jorsay Gandmar (maryjg@finebody.com) http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559924469 What have we here? Two voices, one room, one night. And sex. Loads of it. Okay, so there isn't a story, in the sense of linear progression of events. But that's not a failure in itself. What we have is a turbo-charged account of fantasies and desires and intriguingly ephemeral characters. Are they real, is one dreaming of the other or someone else conjuring up both? If you want a potted account, it's this: incubus wants succubus and vice-versa. Incub us gets succubus, and vice-versa. Finis. What *is* compelling is the ghostly, in-and-out-of-dreams quality. It lies somewhere in that grey, undefinable, unknowable area between sleep and awakening, between fantasy and reality. That's really quite delicious, and its brevity keeps it sharp, focussed and fast. But the typos! Naval for navel, trust instead of thrust - I counted at least eight or nine grammatical errors starting with the first line ("the clock 'strokes' midnight"). Unfortunate, especially in story so short because it does diminish an otherwise promising work. The author tells us this is a first attempt - might I request that, for the next one (and there should be one), closer attention be paid to proofing? Ratings for "A Stranger's Pleasure" Athena (Technical Quality) : 7 Venus (Plot & Character) : 8 Mary (Appeal to reviewer) : 8 'Virgin Huntress" by Margie Donnadieu (margie_donnadieu@yahoo.com). Guest review by Dave Myers. http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564880005 This story is told in a very unusual format. The best I can do to describe it is to say that it is somewhere between poetry and fiction. It is not your average storytelling prose; that's for certain. It's a very short piece by usual standards, and the format chosen was definitely suited to brevity. It works because it doesn't go on long enough for the near-haiku nature of the sentences to get old. Ostensibly, the story is about a trip to a mountain cabin where two people find they have very different ideas about what sex and love should be about. Ultimately, the story is about control, but not in the simple-minded S/M or MC manner you often see on the newsgroups. This is something deeper and a little more twisted, actually. The title of the piece may not fit, I think. It doesn't seem to make a whit of difference if there is a virgin in the story or not. In fact, it's glossed over. The ending is resolutely bittersweet and incomplete as a reminder that the story serves as a chance encounter only. For me, and I suspect for a lot o f readers, this is a bit jarring. But hey, I kinda liked that aspect. The intro poem is almost a non sequitur. The piece probably could have stood on its own without it. The poem didn't quite fit the mood for me, but it doesn't really ruin anything. I wish I could say more, but to do so would really be to say too much. So if it doesn't seem too weird for you, give it a try. Believe me, it's different than the usual thing. "Yoko" by Richard Rivers (richard_rivers@hotmail.com). Review by Nick(nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559292637 Firstly, I must apologise both to Celeste and to Richard Rivers for the delay in producing this review. Life has been generally very busy, but I'm sure I could have found the time if I'd tried. I was slightly put off be the coding which said 'Japanese people'. generally I don't like stories where race is an element. This is not because of high moral principle, simply taste. I needn't have worried. The fact that the people, or person, was Japanese was largely incidental to the story. Yoko might just as well have been Asian or East European or any other non-English speaker with a different culture, who comes to live in America. This was a very well written story, with a great deal of depth to it. I have to confess, however, that there were one or two things that puzzled me. I was not sure about the ending, for example. All that said, this is a recommended read for anyone interested in serious erotic literature. I have no hesitation in giving it three 10's. Ratings for "Yoko" Athena (Technical) 10 Venus (Plot/Character) 10 Appeal to me 10 "Jan Shares" by Dorsai (dorsai@mail.com). Guest Review by BillyG (hayden@mindless.com). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565358695 The very first thing that needs to be said about this excellent story's second chapter is that it shouldn't be read until the first chapter has been visited. Shortly after starting the story Celeste sent to me for review - "Jan Shares," - it was evident that too much ground work had been laid before this chapter. The antecedent chapter, "Jan and I," hadn't been posted with this chapter, but a search in DejaNews fortunately found it. For future chapters, I'd recommend re-posting the previous chapters as well, for there's too much vital introduction to miss. That said, let me get to the good stuff. Dorsai's offering, while very erotic, is not a stroke story - it's much more. I suppose you might view it as a sexy, romantic tale that is firmly entrenched in loving and spiritual tenants. I use the term advisedly - spiritual as in unselfish concern for higher values which, in this story, are rooted in loving relationships that embrace emerging sexuality. The working story line is deceptively simple and to some, off-putting. It needed be. Dan, the 43-year-old protagonist, develops a tender relationship with his friend's teenage daughter, Jan. Their slowly emerging sexual connection is given support by the caring trust that's established between them long before it escalates sexually. Jan wants to know about sex and approaches Dan for help. He, with some trepidation and her father's tacit and as well, expressed permission, begins a slow-as-molasses sexual education of Jan. More, it's an education in trust and honesty and as well, communication. Many of us grew up in the non-spoken Braille school of sexual communication that allowed physicality without verbal presence. Much of this delightful tale is the antithesis of unspoken groping. I won't even begin to attempt a summary of these two chapters, the first two of five I'm given to understand. Suffice it to say that woven throughout this erotic tale are life's lessons as well as a philosophy of tender, consensual and loving sexuality. The story's about an older guy and a younger girl but it would apply to lovers of any age. Read it. But slowly - a bite at a time. It's well worth the effort! Ratings for "Jan Shares" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 (read "Jan and I" first) BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Cherry Blossoms" by Margie Donnadieu (margie_donnadieu@yahoo.com). Guest review by Nick (nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk) http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567054060 First the nit-picking: >Maybe she'll be aall the girls would gather around to listen to his words >and watch him with puppy eyes. Poor proofing. >"She's white?!" "Blond?!" No, 'Blonde'. But all that is really very petty. In fact, if you ever thought you were good at writing sex stories, read this and you'll discover you are not. I can't remember, myself, ever having read anything quite so good. I've just scrubbed out the little precis I did of this story; I couldn't do it justice, and the story is short enough. Go and read it. Dr Spin has recently posted a homage to this writer on assm, I suggest you read that too. Ratings for "Cherry Blossoms " Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Nick (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Dirty and Dangerous" by Erin Halfelven (Joyce@qnez.com). Guest review by Stromer. http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569805445 This story is about a lesbian woman who travels to meet her ex-lover, a Hispanic girl named Anna. As Anna greets her, she tells us about the last time they were together, two years before that. On that occasion they had been to a party, and the narrator got drunk, was raped and then had sex with a Mexican illegal immigrant who offered her ten thousand dollars to marry him. As the author says in the story header, it is a true story, but the events were changed a bit to improve the plot. The rape is shortly described, taking only four lines, so the story can be read without fear. The lesbian sex between the narrator and Anna is also poorly described. The author seems to concentrate her energies in the scene where she meets Pablo - the immigrant - and has sex with him. But it doesn't work either: the girl is lesbian, has just been raped and now is having sex with a complete stranger who's just doing it to escape from the Immigration Department! However, the story works quite well when you stop thinking about it as a sex story and sees it only as a story. Probably she, who's ending a relationship, has sex with Pablo because she needs to feel "dirty and dangerous" again. Ratings for "Dirty and Dangerous" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot and character): 6 Stromer (appeal to reviewer): 5 * "A Dialogue Lesson" by Felix Lance Falkon (falkon@netaxs.com). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567584573 I don't review very many male/male sex stories - mostly because I'm too busy reviewing stories that involve females. However, when I stumbled across this little gem, I thought I should share it with you. The basic idea is that the author uses the story itself (about two guys having sex) to demonstrate how to punctuate a dialogue between two people. It's very cleverly done; and if you can keep your mind off the sex (which should be easy, if you're not a gay man), you can learn a lot from this example. Ratings for "A Dialogue Lesson" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (Joyce@qnez.com). http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=566830997 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567231454 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567688897 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=568495742 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=568943851 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569268346 http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569805440 The narrator is a gigolo, I suppose; he hangs onto his piece of life by latching onto older women, who like him for his good looks and the sex he is able to throw their way. As he says, " Sex is all in the mind anyway and I approached each woman as an intellectual puzzle subject to physical manipulation, like one of those multicolored cubes. But things begin to change one day when he tries to seduce a rich woman who drives a Mercedes. He finds himself trapped, enslaved; and he undergoes experiences that had never even occurred to him before. I usually don't like sex-slavery stories or those that involve piercing and diapers; but I did enjoy this story. It's hard to explain. I recommend you check it out for yourself. Ratings for "Mercedes" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "The Black Silk Camisole" by Tiramisu (tiramixu@yahoo.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?423089984 Labeled "A Christmas Gift for Celeste," this story was posted as part of a contest that solicited stories to comfort me during my hiatus, which was caused by a computer crash shortly before Christmas. In fact, this story WON that contest. The splendor of that achievement should not be diminished by the fact that this was the only entry in that otherwise worthy endeavor. An aspiring author named Rich Grayson has gone to a Victoria's Secret store to seek inspiration for a story he plans to enter in an erotic story contest. The saleslady arranges to meet him at Starbucks during her break. At that time she will offer him additional inspiration. Unfortunately, instead of fantasizing about me (the target of the story), Rich finds himself fantasizing about the saleslady (the target of his sexual energies). When the saleslady prods , he describes his general pattern of stories to her, but admits that he has never actually participated in most of the bdsm activities about which he writes. As the saleslady's interest increases, Rich finds it necessary to tell her in considerable detail the plot of one of his stories. This whets her interest . But then, like Cinderella of the shopping mall, the saleslady realizes that she has been distracted and is late getting back from her break. She leaves abruptly. What happens next? I'm not going to tell, except to say that the rest of the story becomes the inspiration for the story the author has been trying to write. I'll add that it was a nice present and that it doesn't depend at all on a Christmas theme. So you can read it for your birthday, or for your midweek orgy, or whatever occasion you wish. I wonder if Shakespeare ever thought about this story within a story idea. Ratings for "The Black Silk Camisole" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9.5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5 -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: | | FAQ: Moderator: | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |Archive: Hosted by Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository | |, an entity supported entirely by donations. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+