Message-ID: <18369eli$9901211744@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: ~master~ Subject: submission by mesmer - The Mule 1 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <3666083F.65F77D45@coastnet.net.au> Standard Disclaimer - Pure Fiction - If you enjoyed this story, please email your thanks to the appreciated VP person who published it here for me for you to read. - Thank you - Mesmer. THE MULE - by Mesmer Chapter I * * * "Do you think you can help me?" asked the thirty-five-year-old redhead who could have easily passed for five years younger. She had come to me seeking help for her anxieties: the usual-not sleeping, not eating, waking up in sweats etcetera: all the symptoms of a repressed memory or two that had decided it was their time to surface in her subconscious to be dealt with now that a suitable time frame had passed since their origin. She hoped like hell I could help her. She had nowhere else to turn, other than a doctor and an endless supply of sedatives. My name is Wallace. Peter Wallace. I'm a therapist a hypnotherapist. "No guarantees, Mrs Johnson." I told her. ANo, no.@ she came in quickly. AI understand it depends on my suitability for hypnosis, but if I=m okay it should work, shouldn=t it?@ They=re all the same, and thank heavens they are. ado you have any questions about it?@ I asked her as a matter of formality. AN. Can we just, do it? Now?@ her eyes almost begged. Talk about a high degree of expectation. AHow much do you want it to work?@ I asked her. AA lot.@ came the earnest reply. I led her through to the clinic, a separate room from my office, separated by nothing except space, with the green chair I used for therapy clearly visible from where she had been sitting across from me at my desk. I had seen her eyes look several times, as all my patients did. That chair seemed to be like some sort of magnet to them. What did I care. As long as it heightened their expectations of the desired outcome. Choose your most comfortable position.@ I said to her without smiling. This wasn=t of my better days for public relations. The chair had three positions-sitting up, half reclining, and almost lying fully down with a support under the calves. She tried them all and chose the third position, like they all do. AYou might feel more comfortable with your shoes off and your belt loosened.@ I suggested. She glanced quickly at me. AYour choice.@ I shrugged at her. AI don=t care one way or the other.@ I sat down. My abruptness seemed to have quelled any fears she might have had. She took off her shoes and loosened her belt. Then she settled back and rolled her hips a few times, getting good and comfortable. AI won=t lose control, will I?@ she asked quietly, a hint of concern in her voice. ADO you want to?@ I asked matter-of-factly. AWell..er...no. I don=t.@ AThen you won=t. Simple as that.@ That shut her up, at least for the time being. I led her down through the relaxation induction to a point where I figured she was deep enough for me to test her trance depth. AYou are now...so deeply in trance.@ I said in my slow hypnotic way of speaking. AThat everything I tell you will feel...you will feel...and everything I tell you, you will experience...you will experience.. As your unconscious mind opens fully and works the way it does best...like an umbrella...when it=s fully open...and in that way you will find that you can do nothing but express yourself in the most truthful manner you can imagine, leaving nothing out..no matter how painful or embarrassing. Do you understand that you will be able to do that whether you like it or not? Because you are so deeply hypnotised?@ AYes.@ she said slowly with a nod of her head as well. AAnd do you feel deeply hypnotised?@ I prepared her. ASuch that you will have no resistance to your own unconscious mind should it want to tell me the absolute truth and you conscious mind may be a little hesitant?@ AYes.@ she answered with only a nod of her head. AWhat is your real problem?@ I tested. Nothing like a bit of cold steel between the third and fourth rib to get to the truth. AI ...I don=t have one.@ she stammered in saying. My eyebrows shot up. What the hell was she playing at. My impatience started to wear thin very quickly. I don=t suffer being made a fool of too easily. AThen why are you here?@ I said evenly through my teeth. No answer. AYou know you have to tell me the truth. For someone as deeply hypnotised as you are it is virtually impossible to resist being absolutely truthful about anything I ask you. Isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ nodded her head. I shook my own. What the hell was going on here. I believed she was in trance, although not as deeply as I suggested to her that she was. AWhy are you here?@ I repeated. I was just about to repeat it again after waiting for almost a minute when I realised she was having some kind of internal battle between conscience and unconscious. Not conscious- conscience. AIt=s okay.@ I soothed her. AYou=re doing perfectly. Relax and go deeper. Can you do that?@ A nod of her head. I counted her down from ten, deepening her with each downward count. By the time I had reached zero she seemed even more relaxed in the face and body than she had previously. Time to try again. AAt this very deep level of trance your vocal chords will not work for you. They will work only for your unconscious mind.@ I suggested. AJust like the subjects you=ve seen in the past in the stage hypnosis shows. And have you ever seen one of them not do exactly and precisely what they were told?@ A shaking of the head. AThat=s right. That=s because they couldn=t if they wanted to. Because they were so deeply hypnotised...like you are right now. Do you understand?@ A nod of the head. AGood. That=s fine. You=re doing perfectly. AWhy are you here?@ I repeated the earlier unanswered question. ATo give you a message...if you=re good enough to get it.@ she answered like a robot. AWhat?@ I said without thinking first. She repeated her previous statement word for word, like a robot. I just sat there, dumbfounded. What the fuck was going on here? APlease explain yourself?@ I told her, my impatience sounding in my voice. I didn=t care. AI have been hypnotised on a very deep level.@ she said easily, as if she were awake. AI am a somnambule. I have been told that when you hypnotise me I am to give you that message. I have another one, but only if you can hypnotise me deeply enough.@ AHow deeply do you have to go to give the second message?@ I asked. AMuch deeper.@ she replied. Fuck her. AThen go now as deep as you have to in order to give me the message. I=ll wait until you are there, and when you are, you can nod your head. Do you understand clearly?@ AYes.@ she answered, then took a deep breath while I waited for several minutes. Then her head nodded. AGo ahead with your second message then.@ I told her. APlease call 6753358 immediately.@ she said very clearly. AWhat?@ I fumed. APlease call 6753358 immediately.@ she repeated like a robot again. My head was starting to ache. I didn=t need this shit, although I had to admit to a little bit of annoying curiosity. Apart from that I wasn=t thinking to far ahead. This was too weird, even for me. I picked up the phone and dialled the number. A woman=s voice answered like velvet. ADo you like my mule, Mr Wallace?@ the woman asked. That was it. AWhat the fuck is going on?@ I blew up. AYou some kind of fucking weirdo?@ ASettle down Mr Wallace.@ velvet-voice said quietly. AI just wanted to prove myself to you so you=d know you weren=t talking to someone who didn=t know what they were doing.@ I wasn=t any wiser. AThirty seconds. And then you get the dial-tone for your trouble!@ I spat at her, velvet voice and all. Who gives a shit! AShe=ll kill you if I tell her too, Mr Wallace.@ velvet-voice said quietly, with just a hint of impatience. I stared at the tranced woman. Then, before I could have my next thought, a high pitched whine came sounding through the ear-piece. I had to hold it away from my ear it was that high-pitched and loud. At the same time the woman who had been dead to the world on my chair leaped from the chair like an acrobat and whipped out a pistol with a silencer fitted to the barrel. I don=t know where she had it. Must have been on her person somewhere. I don=t usually make it a habit of frisking my patients, not expecting them to be carrying weapons. But this one was and she was levelling the menacing-looking thing directly at my face. Her eyes were steady and cold, like the barrel of the gun most probably was. I put the phone back to my ear. ATell her to relax and go back.@ velvet-voice said smoothly. I told the woman who instantly lay back down in the chair, resting the gun across her lap. AShe can be up again in a flash, and will be if I don=t tell you the key words that will stop her from shooting you in five minutes.@ I was told. I glanced at my watch. Then held the phone close to my head. AI suggest you listen Mr Wallace. She=s a mule and won=t remember a thing when she wakes up. That=s why I chose her-to show and prove to you what can be done, irrespective what you might have been taught. Have I impressed you enough to take me seriously in anything else I might want to say to you?@ A fucking nut-case. Why do I always get the fucking nuts? AYes.@ was all I said. AGood. Then listen carefully. If one million dollars just for you sounds interesting you can tell her to go home and not hang up on me. If it doesn=t. You can tell her anyway, and I=ll send a different mule back tomorrow. Then we=ll go through the same thing all over again. What=s it going to be?@ Just what I needed-a fucking offer I can=t refuse. I looked at the sleeping woman. AYou can go home now.@ I told her. She opened her eyes and rose from the chair. After putting her shoes back on and tightening her belt she left my office without so much as a backward glance. I heard the door slide shut in the waiting room. A bad-hair day. That what it was alright-a fucking bad-hair day. Jesus! AWhat exactly do you want?@ I asked, keeping my voice calm. AThat=s better. Does the money interest you?@ she asked. ANot really.@ I said, telling the truth. AWe knew it wouldn=t, Mr Wallace. But we had to check. Thank you for being honest.@ AOkay.@ I said. AYou=ve had your fun. Now, if you don=t mind, I=ve got patients- real ones who need my help. Nice joke and all that, and I am very impressed, but the fun=s over. Have a nice life!@ With that I hung up the phone and lit a smoke. Christ! I walked out to the waiting room and locked the door. Then walked back and closed the door between it and my office. I wanted to be alone to think. I made myself a half-cold cup of coffee, wondering all the time what the hell was going on. I started to rationalise. A >mule= was industry talk for a >somnambule,=: a person who could achieve deep trance state in hypnosis easily, and once there in that state could be instructed to do anything, feel anything, and see anything, then awaken without any recall of the event whatsoever. I=d only come across a few in my time as a hypnotherapist, but I knew what they capable of, or, be made capable of. Drawing deeply on the cigarette I figured that either someone was playing a very elaborate game with me, or, it was all as velvet-voice had told me-but why? I sloshed down the luke-warm coffee, feeling the sugar coat my teeth already. Hell! Why should I worry about velvet-voice killing me: the coffee, the cigarettes, or the sugar would do the job for her. >Her.= Who was >her?= A woman therapist? My mind raced instantly, but no female therapist came to mind. And what was the plot, really? The money trick hadn=t worked. Besides, she said they hadn=t expected me to be interested anyway. So what were they interested in? They? Why did I assume it was a >they? I finished the cigarette and the coffee at the same time, none the wiser for my attempt at a brain-drain. I didn=t need this shit! As I sat there musing with my thoughts I played with the idea of ringing her back. Maybe that=s what she was waiting for: curiosity to get the better of me. It was starting to. What the hell, I figured, and then dialled the number. I could hear the receiver pick up, but no-one answered. Suspicious type, old velvet-voice. No problems. AHello?@ I ventured first. It was my phone call after all. May as well speak and get on with it. Then I might get somewhere. AWhat took you so long?@ came the smooth voice. I was calmer now: back to my old self: over the initial shock and confusion, or so I thought. AWell, I=m forty seven years old.@ I said evenly. AI figure the way I smoke and drink coffee with too much sugar that I haven=t got too much time left to find out why you=ve gone to so much trouble just to piss me off!@ I wasn=t mad. I was cool, but I wanted to get across the impression that I wasn=t very happy about the whole thing. Christ! Not very happy? What an understatement! AThat was not my intention. I just wanted to show you what a mule was capable of, in the right hands.@ the velvet-voice told me cooly. AI am aware of what they are capable of.@ I retorted angrily. AThere=s no need to stay upset, Mr Wallace.@ she said slowly, as if she was talking to a child. I hate that at the best of times. AI merely wanted you to know you were dealing with an equal-or better.@ My blood began to rise. She had a way of pushing my buttons, and we weren=t even best friends yet. AYou=ve read the book, haven=t you?@ I stated flatly. ABook?@ AHow to win friends and influence people.@ AVery funny Mr Wallace. But now we are wasting time. And I haven=t got that much of it too waste, I=m afraid.@ AThat makes two of us.@ I answered sharply. AYou want to tell me what this is all about? I=m sure you could have found a dozen other therapists who would have been only too happy to play games with you.@ AHappy, yes-the right person-no.@ she said. ACome on lady. Let=s get on with it before I start to get bored. Okay?@ I told her in a tired tone. AWho are you anyway?@ I added quickly, wondering why I hadn=t asked that sooner. AAll in good time, Mr Wallace.@ came the rapid answer. I listened to the silence. It was deafening, even to someone like me who liked silence. AExperimental hypnosis, Mr Wallace. That=s what it=s all about. And we=d like you to be involved. What can be done, and what can=t be done.@ AWhat makes you think I=m interested? Besides, that doesn=t pay too well, last time I checked.@ AI know you=re interested, Mr Wallace.@ she came back. AAnd we=d pay you more than you could earn listening to someone=s problems all day long.@ AWe?@ AThere are several of us in the group.@ AAll therapists?@ I asked, my curiosity now rising. AMostly, and a financial backer of course.@ Alarm bells started ringing somewhere. AHow legal is what you have in mind?@ I asked. AIn strict legal terms Mr Wallace, we are doing nothing against the law. Ethics may come into it as far as the mules are concerned, but nothing that would end you up in prison.@ I was starting to get bored again. AWhat sort of money are we talking about?@ I ventured. What the hell. It was my phone call, after all. AThree thousand dollars a week, Mr Wallace.@ she said without flinching. Jesus! AMr Wallace?@ AYes.@ I answered flatly. AAre you interested?@ AI don=t know if I=m up or fucking down at the moment!@ I retorted angrily. AI am not trying to make a fool of you Mr Wallace.@ she said, reading my mind. AWhat kind of experimental hypnosis?@ I asked tiredly. AThe kind you=d be interested in Mr Wallace. All kinds.@ This time the silence was mine. How did she like it? Besides, I didn=t like the way she inferred my interest. AMr Wallace?@ AYes.@ AAre you interested enough to meet with me?@ AHow do you know I won=t tear you head off?@ I said dryly. AIt=s not in your nature to be violent Mr Wallace. We=ve checked.@ AWhen and where?@ I asked. AHere and now.@ came the rapid answer. AWhen and where?@ I repeated flatly. AAt the pier in half an hour.@ AOkay.@ AAnd Mr Wallace?@ AYes?@ AIt would not be in your best interests to do anything silly. I would know, whatever it was.@ ASure.@ I said. The phone went dead in my ear. I lit another bunger and drew heavily on it, then watched as the blue-grey smoke streamed up toward the ceiling until it became invisible. The pier was only ten minutes from my office. I went there often when I had a problem, wanted to think, or just plain relax. Most therapists have their own therapist. I don=t. I watch the ocean and it doesn=t charge me one- fifty an hour to do it. I lit a second cigarette in as many minutes, shaking my head in disgust and wondering what kind of experiments she had in mind-they had in mind. I was interested in experimental hypnosis, purely from the viewpoint of discovering unknown performance levels as far as the human mind was concerned. I glanced at my watch, wondering where my destiny was taking me next. And somehow knowing the excitement that was already building in my conscious mind could either be very good, or very bad. I was ready for either. Time to go, with ten minutes to spare. Just a short, brisk walk. The pier jutting about one hundred yards into the calm ocean waters of the coast was packed with people: holiday-makers, fisherman, and people just out for a walk in the beautiful sunshine. Well, she=d have to find me, I decided as I walked onto the wooden boards and breathed deeply of the salt air. I loved it. I think I=d die quickly if I had to live away from the coast. It made me feel alive and not crowded at the same time: always feeling like there were no walls around me: always somewhere to go to get away. I walked to the very end and stood beside an old man peering through the pay- telescope. I looked around as I walked, not knowing who I was looking for: maybe someone who looked like they were looking for me: a hint of recognition or something. Nobody seemed interested in the slightest. I waited. The old man left, several others taking his place over the next half an hour. I was getting angrier by the passing minute. I took a deep breath and leaned heavily on the rail of the pier, looking as far out toward the Eastern horizon as I could. It had a relaxing effect on the eyes when their point of focus was infinity. What was going on? What was I doing here anyway? Wasting my time because of some nut. That was what! I straightened my shoulders and braced them against my spine. I=d had enough, and enough was enough! AMr Wallace?@ sounded the familiar velvet voice. I flinched, not expecting anyone really to show up at all. I turned around slowly and allowed my gaze to fall on the owner of the voice that had been pissing me off all morning. The face that owned the voice was smiling quietly at me. The lips were still together, but they were definitely smiling. And the face was absolutely beautiful, like a fashion model. I stood there staring, my thoughts not making any more sense to themselves than they did to me. Then she laughed: a belly laugh that sounded natural and free. AClose your mouth Mr Wallace. A sea gull might fly right on in.@ she grinned. I snapped my mouth shut, not being even aware it had opened involuntarily. She stood only an inch or so less than I did at six foot one and a half inches-tall for a woman. Her hair was flaming red. Her skin was fair, as it was with most natural red-heads, but with no freckles on this one. Bright red gloss covered full lips, and the body beneath the dark, blue business suit seemed to fill out the destined shape of the suit, top and bottom, in all the right places. ADo I pass?@ she smiled, bringing my wandering gaze back to her smiling eyes. I hardened my gaze. She looked about mid to late thirties, I figured. And she looked smart. For some reason in my life I never got to meet women who were nearly as tall as I was. I found it a little intimidating: no doubt some sort of complex that had always lain dormant in my unconscious mind, just waiting fro the day I met her-the one with the velvet voice. APass what? I answered flatly, sounding humourless compared to her. AYour inspection of whoever you were expecting.@ ATo be honest, I didn=t know whether I was expecting anyone. The whole thing=s a bit unusual, to say the least. Don=t you think?@ I asked. Her smile faded quickly. AWe are not playing games, Mr Wallace.@ AThen what exactly are we playing at here?@ Her lips tightened just a little. AWe are not playing at anything, Mr Wallace.@ she almost pouted, but not quite. AWe are very serious about what we do. You will be too once you know about it.@ AAnd would that be before the year two thousand?@ I asked dryly. Again the belly laugh. It was attractive whether I liked to admit it or not. She had beautiful, even teeth. She wasn=t a small woman either. Not fat or big. Just athletic I finally decided while looking at her eyes and letting my peripheral do the scanning of her frame. AGet your inspection over with Mr Wallace so we can get on with it.@ Observant too. I give her just the hint of the slightest grin I could manage. AThat=s better. You can find humour anywhere. Can=t you?@ she grinned. ALet=s get to it.@ I said quickly. ALet=s walk back to the seats under the trees. As you=ve already observed I=m a natural red-head. And I don=t like being sunburned.@ AOkay.@ I answered. We walked slowly back to the seats situated beneath the tall, bushy trees that lined the coast in that neck of the woods. She sat down on my left, resting her purse in her lap. Seated, her eyes were dead level with mine, and they sparkled with life. She rested one hand in the other as she took a deep breath, then placed them both to rest on the top of her purse-a dark green one-very expensive- looking. Suddenly, an idea came to my mind, stupid as it was. But it made sense right then. I voiced it to see what would happen, watching her eyes and face for the slightest indication I was right. AYou people are with or for the government.@ I stated flatly. ANobody else could afford to pay me that much money, not in this industry at any rate.@ AYou are very astute Mr Wallace. We=ve made the right choice in you. But then I knew that from the beginning.@ AIs this spy stuff?@ I asked curiously. She laughed that belly-laugh again. Her eyes shined. AWhat we do is not that boring Mr Wallace.@ she grinned. AYou will find it very interesting as I=ve already said.@ AWell...what is it?@ AMr Wallace.@ she began her story. AI represent a group of professionals who have been tasked by the government to conduct experimental research on selected hypnotic subjects to ascertain the extent of which post-hypnotic suggestion can be taken before control is taken back by the subject.@ I knew she could tell by my eyes that she had me interested. It was all about control: the motivating force of all hypnotherapists: the god complex, as some people called it over a beer or two. AAre you a therapist?@ I asked. AYes Mr Wallace-for twelve years now. Not as long as you, but I=ve worked very hard to be the very best at what I do.@ A woman after my own heart, I thought as I scanned her face for any sign of lies or deceit. I found none. AWhere do you find the mules?@ I asked. Her smile faded. AThat=s where the ethics come into it, I=m afraid. They are mostly normal patients who come to us for treatment with their various ailments. They do not know we use them, like that woman who was in your office this morning. She is just a housewife, recruited by one of our other members from his practice.@ AI see.@ was all I could find worth saying at that point. ASpecifically, what type of experiments do you conduct?@ I asked. AMany different types Mr Wallace.@ she replied with that velvet voice containing just a hint of mischief. AThe human mind has always been of great interest to mankind since the beginning of time.@ AControlling it has been of even greater interest.@ I came back with. She smiled patiently. AThat=s true Mr Wallace. But do you think we are the only country in the world to conduct such experiments?@ ANo.@ I said admittedly. AThen are you interested or not. I have been authorised to pay you your first month=s salary, in advance if you are. You=ll have until the end of the week to clear your patient log, or put them off to another therapist. That=s the price I=m afraid. You will not have the time to work your private practice.@ I let it all sink in slowly, turning away from her beautiful face and features to look back out across the emerald green ocean. The cigarette packet found its way into my hand without my knowledge. I lit one and drew on it deeply, exhaling with a deep sigh. AWhy me?@ I asked as I took another deep drag. AThere are plenty of others who=d jump at that sort of money. AAs I=ve already told you Mr Wallace. We=ve done our homework on you and many others. Your dedication is, shall I say, unmatched by any other. And we know you conduct your own private experiments along similar lines in your own time, although you do have the good graces to use volunteers. You also come highly recommended to us by former patients who speak highly of your rapport, although you wouldn=t know it from what you=ve shown me so far.@ If I hadn=t sensed the smile in her voice without looking at her I would=ve gotten angry again, but I did, so I guess it made a difference. Instead, I took another drag and settled back into the hard wooden seat and gazed out into eternity for a few minutes more, testing her patience and sense of humour like she=d tested mine all morning. ATell me more.@ I said quietly AYou will be working closely with all of the group, drawing your mules from a central bank of clients, as it were, who we will supply you with. You=ll work from a central group of private offices downtown. We have priority research aims and objectives each month. Meetings are held every morning and evening after we=ve finished, sometimes quite late. That=s another thing. Your hours will be somewhat...ah...varied, to say the least, but I=m sure you=re used to that anyway.@ I knew I=d probably live to regret it, but it all sat well with me. A little bit cloak and dagger, but so far nothing had been said that gave me a feeling of wrong-doing in the legal sense. And it was for a good cause. And then there was the money. The money. I turned to look at her, wondering if I was being made a fool of in the grandest manner I could have ever imagined. I studied her face. AOne other thing Mr Wallace.@ she added as I scanned her eyes and features for the umpteenth time. AYou will be, if you decide to accept, required to sign a secrecy oath, the ramifications of which are that you can never disclose the nature of your work with us fro any reason, to any person without our express authorisation, and, that will never be given, Mr Wallace. Do you understand that quite clearly.@ The cloak and dagger stuff deepened by the second. AWe are not trying to make a fool of you Mr Wallace.@ she added, reading my mind of a few seconds earlier. I studied her eyes for a few seconds more before telling her what I figured she already knew. AOkay.@ I said flatly. As simple as that. She smiled broadly and clapped her hands together like a little girl would after being given some good news. AGood!@ she beamed. AI=ll pick you up at six tonight and introduce you to our group. You=ll like them-most of them anyway.@ Then she gave me the belly-laugh again. I smiled hesitantly. ARelax Mr Wallace. You don=t have to kill anyone....yet.@ she added with a cheeky grin and another belly-laugh. She stood up and so did I. I took her dry, warm outstretched hand and squeezed it firmly. My grip met with equal resistance on her part. I smiled thinly. I like a good, firm handshake in man or woman. Then she turned on her expensive heels and strode confidently off like a woman on a mission to get somewhere inn a hurry, leaving me alone to contemplate my fate, or destiny, depending on what sort of mood I was in. And that, I hadn=t figured out quite yet. I decided to sit back down and think some more: run it all back over in my mind, right from the moment the woman rang me for an appointment-the mule. Right from the beginning to now, right that very moment. By the time I had finished I was none the wiser in my own mind, apart from what I had surmised as the whole thing had developed over the morning. Lots of money and interesting research. And I didn=t have to worry about getting clients. It all seemed too good to be true. I had never been the one to be in the right place at the right time, although this time it seemed like I was. Nevertheless, my suspicious nature still wouldn=t let me be entirely comfortable with the whole thing. I decided to play it by ear and trust no one. I was waiting only a few minutes when the white limo glided to a halt outside my office building. It looked like the type the movie stars always hired, with the blackened windows that you couldn=t see in. I opened the door and slid into the air-conditioned interior. Leaning against the other side of the wide-bodied luxury car was the one with the velvet voice, smiling quietly as I clipped up the buckle of the seat belt, similar to the one she wasn=t wearing. I glanced at my watch for reasons that escaped me right then. Exactly six o=clock. She reached forward and slid back the mini-bar, then began mixing two drinks. I watched with curious amazement as she mixed a Scotch for herself and a Rum and Coke for me. She handed it to me. I took it and grinned, my eyebrows raised in wonderment as to how she knew what I drank. AAs I said Mr Wallace. We do our homework.@ I sipped the ice-cold drink and leet it burn away my day=s frustrations. AWhat name do you go by, or do you have many aliases?@ I asked between sips as the big car glided effortlessly along the highway toward the city. She grinned at my not-so-subtle attempt at humour. AWe don=t use any name but our own Mr Wallace. We are not spies, as I=ve already said. My name is Tina. Tina Clark. And I think that since we=re going to be working so closely together, we might as well be on a first-name basis. Don=t you?@ AIf you like.@ I answered. AI like.@ she smiled, sipping her drink. Her eyes never left me for a moment. It was as if she was studying my reaction to everything that had happened so far: trying to work out my mind-set or thoughts as everything had unfolded. I sipped again and tensed lightly as the car turned a tighter than normal corner. I saw the slight frown crease her otherwise wrinkle- free forehead as the car straightened and smoothed out the ride. We rode the rest of the short drive in silence. The building where the big car dropped us off was like most of the others. I watched the limo drive off, noting that I never did see the driver. The darkened partition never came down once during the drive in. I turned back and looked at Tina. She was smiling and gesturing with her right hand to come with her. I acknowledged and followed her inside the building. There were no names on the building outside. Inside we passed a registry board with a dozen or so names on it, none of which held any special significance for me or the type of work that I was supposedly hired for. Tina walked slightly ahead of me and to the right. I followed her into the elevator and stood at the back, watching her press the number of the top floor-twenty six. We rode in silence, apart from her smile flashed at me twice on the ride up. Then the elevator stopped silently and the doors shushed open. I followed her again as she walked from the elevator and turned right. Down a long hallway and to the left we came into a large open foyer area, centred by a semi-circular reception desk, complete with receptionist. Branching off in four directions were four hallways, each seemingly lined with doors which I presumed opened into offices for her group. She walked up to the receptionist after asking me to wait a little way back. AHow many are in your group?@ I asked when she approached me smiling. AIncluding myself and you, there are now twenty seven of us.@ she replied immediately. AThis way.@ Again she gestured and again I followed like a little puppy, my mind stunned at the number of people who were doing the same thing as I had been hired to do. AWhy me if you=ve already got so many?@ I asked as we walked down the hallway to the far right. AA quantity of personnel we never have a shortage of Mr Wal..er...Peter. The quality of personnel we are always short of. A lot of the past people we had been using were missing the very thing in their character that we found so appealing in you.@ she said with a gay laugh. I liked the way she said my name. AWhich is?@ I asked slowly. AYour dedication to the challenge.@ she replied. AWe know you know, there=s no challenge, like no challenge.@ I grinned. She was right on that one. It was the reason worthwhile getting out of bed each day for-the challenge of the moment, good or bad, in whatever way it chose to express itself to see if I was up to the task of meeting it. Tina stopped at the last office door on the right of the hallway and pointed to the nameplate on the door. ADr Peter Wallace@ it said in bright, black-on-gold print. Then she looked at me and grinned. ASure of yourself, were you?@ I smiled thinly. AI could walk back the way we just came right now. What would you do with your nameplate then?@ I asked. AWait for you to come back.@ she replied instantly. I smiled thinly again. She was quick. I had to give her that, as well as beautiful. She turned the knob and pushed gently on the door, then pointed behind her shoulder. AI=m right across the hall.@ she added. I turned and looked at the nameplate on her door. ADr Tina Clark@ it said. AI=m not a doctor.@ I told her as I followed her into my new office. AWe are all doctors in this industry Peter-doctors of the mind. Wouldn=t you agree?@ she said closing the door quietly. AMaybe.@ I replied, not convinced whether some of my colleagues deserved such a distinguished title, going from some of the things I=d heard about them over the years. Words failed me as my gaze roamed the entire office. To say it was large would have been an understatement. It was gigantic. It was split into an office area with filing cabinets and a computer, with three doors sectioned off to what looked like three smaller offices. On one side there was an eating area, small table and chairs, along with a very comfortable looking leather lounge. Around the wall of quiet green pain hung several landscapes of peaceful nature. AOne of those is your bedroom, one is your en-suite and shower, the other is your therapy room.@ she told me, leading the way to my huge desk. ATry it out.@ She sat down in the comfortable leather chair opposite my desk as I went around and sat down in my own swivel chair. I couldn=t help but grin. Opulence like this I=d never expected to see in my days as a therapist, unless some old biddie died and left me her fortune. I shifted and became even more comfortable. ACome with me.@ she said and rose quickly from the comfort of her chair, walking toward the first of the three smaller rooms. She opened the door and walked through. I followed. It was getting to be a habit: one that I could probably put up with for a while if it meant always looking at her rear as she walked. It was the therapy room, complete with a large, soft velvet recliner, tape deck and mike. It had the lot, including a cold water fountain for dry mouths when they came up from the depths of their trance. During trance there was no need for the swallowing reflex to function in most patients, so their subconscious would shut it down and open it again when they came up, always with a dry throat, depending on the depth of trance they had achieved. A tall, dimmable standing light stood behind the recliner chair, along with another comfortable-looking leather chair beside the larger one. Tina sat herself down on the smaller of the two chairs. AWell?@ she grinned, waving her right hand and arm around in a grand sweeping motion. AWhat do you think so far?@ I stared hard at her sitting there in all her red-headed beauty, trusting nothing as I=d planned. AWhat=s to think, apart from the obvious?@ I replied. AI understand.@ she said after a few second=s silence during which she studied my face and eyes. AI=ll come and get you when it=s time for the evening meeting.@ she said, getting up out of the chair. AEverybody waits until the last therapist is done for the day. That way everyone is kept abreast of all progress made for the day. Make yourself at home.@ she grinned as she walked past me closer then she needed to I thought. AIt most probably will be on many a lonely night. Oh, and, in the top, right hand drawer of your desk you=ll find some interesting reading.@ And then she was gone. I didn=t even hear the outer office door close. The smaller of the chair beckoned my presence for some reason. I sat down in it and begin to swivel from side to side, not allowing myself to relax for an instant. Well, not completely, anyway. It had taken me a half an hour of reading, or wading, as I flipped through the history of the people who had hired me and the activities they were involved, of which I was now a part as well. And the more I read, the more a nagging feeling began to crawl over me. I couldn=t analyse it-not good, but not bad either. It was just there, and, the more I read, the more solidly the feeling entrenched itself into my mind-set, although taking no particular form of identification. The name on the not-too-thin leather-bound dossier was printed in the same italic print as the name-plate on my new office door. AH. M. C. X.@ I had already made a mental note to ask Tina what the initials stood for. I puzzled over them for only a few minutes before giving it away. Most times I didn=t have the patience for mind-games. Inside the folder were mini-files, all stapled together. And, there were many, many of them. Preceding them and paper-clipped to the inside cover of the leather-bound dossier was an index which listed alphabetically the given names of each of the research and development project studies. It was very lengthy, and very enlightening, to say the least. I had finished just reading the index, and then the more detailed content pages, and had only just begun to get into the synopsis= of the early files on >A= when I heard her knock. She came in and closed the large door behind her, walking directly to my desk and sitting down in the chair opposite me. Her eyes were bright and smiling, although looking a little tired with just a hint of tell-tale puffiness beneath each. I closed the leather-bound dossier and settled back into my chair, my face a mixture of my suspicion and my thoughts. It must have shown. AAnything wrong?@ she asked, her smile fading a little. AWhat do the initials stand for?@ I asked before I forgot, or got bogged down in some other areas. AYou=ve glanced through the dossier and you haven=t put that together yet? She stated curiously. For some reason I felt a tinge of embarrassment at being so mentally slow in her regard. ANo.@ was all I said. AHypnotic Mind Control Experiments.@ she stated slowly, as if she were talking to a slow schoolboy. I thought about that for a few seconds while holding her gaze. Then I glanced away and began to look around the room. AWhere do I fit in?@ I asked. ARight where you are now.@ she grinned. ANext Monday when you officially start with us you=ll be briefed on your first project. I know what it is, and I think you=ll be more than interested. But don=t ask me to tell you before time. It isn=t my place. It=s... his.@ For just a brief second her eyes glazed. Was it at the word: Ahis?@ * * * THE MULE Chapter II * * * AMind control experiments?@ Tina had a slight look of surprise on her face. AGetting cold feet already?@ she smiled. AI told you there some variation to the ethics involved.@ ANo.@ I answered. AJust curious.@ AOr suspicious.@ she grinned. ABut that=s the side of you that=s going to the most valuable to our work: the fact that you won=t let something go until you=ve nutted out everything you can about it. Am I right?@ She was right. I just grinned and took in her natural red-haired beauty. She was a flaming redhead if ever I=d seen one. AWe are all redheads in my family-brothers and sisters alike. There are four of us. Two boys and two girls.@ she said, somehow reading my mind. All I could do was grin and wonder how she did it. Maybe it was a natural knack. Then again, maybe it wasn=t. I wondered if she was married. I hadn=t noticed any rings on her fingers. AI was once. It didn=t work. That was a long time ago.@ I sat up in my chair, alarm bells going off everywhere in my head at once. Now I was suspicious beyond a doubt. Tina had just read my mind! She burst out laughing. It must have been the look of incredulity on my face. APeter.@ she laughed. AThere is a lot you know about hypnosis. And there is a lot you have yet to know. Do you want to learn?@ My head must have nodded unconsciously. I know I didn=t consciously think about doing it. She stopped laughing and quieted. Then her face became a little more serious. AListen.@ she said, leaning forward in her chair a little. AJust allow everything to happen naturally, exactly as it wants to. Don=t try to make anything happen. And don=t try to stop anything from happening. Okay?@ The hypnotic phraseology was not unfamiliar to me. I use it myself all the time. She was using it as an analogy and as advice. I took a deep breath and sighed loudly. AOkay.@ I answered. AShould I shroud my thoughts since you seem to be able to read my mind?@ She laughed that belly laugh again. AI can=t read your thoughts whenever I want to.@ she stated. AOnly when they directly concern me.@ I grinned. AI=d better keep them in line then.@ AIf you want to keep them from me.@ she said simply. ANow come on. Time to meet a few people. Well, not a few actually. Everyone. They=re waiting for us.@ With that we both stood up and I found myself following her like a puppy dog again. This was getting to be a habit, I thought, as I pictured myself with a dog collar around my neck and Tina leading me along with a leash. I=d no sooner had the thought when Tina burst out into hilarious laughter, such that she had to stop walking. When she settled there were tears-stains on her cheeks she had laughed so hard. Then she looked at me, still stifling her mirth. AWoof, woof.@ was all she said, and then I realised what she had laughed at. ALet=s go.@ she repeated. Again I followed and again she burst into laughter. Jesus! Am I slow or what? I followed obediently the laughing woman who walked ahead of me. The meeting with everyone in the very long board room took about a half and hour, consisting of mainly introductions from men and women who appeared to me as if they=d rather be anywhere else than right there at the time: home in bed more likely for most of them. They all looked tired. They were friendly enough, except for the director. He was serious and his name was Robert Sanger. He was the projects coordinator for all of them. I felt he was studying me the whole time. When it was over Tina and I left the room. Or should I say, she left and I followed again. Outside the door she stopped and turned, closing the door and looking at me. AWell. What do you think?@ she asked as she turned and began to walk back toward my office. AThey all look like they need a good night=s sleep.@ I said honestly. AYes.@ she relied flatly. AI feel like that at times. But none of us would trade our jobs for all the tea in China. And neither will you, once you become involved in it.@ I said nothing as I followed her down the hallway and into my office. Nice ass, I thought as she opened the door and stood aside for me to enter. ASo is yours.@ she grinned as I walked past her and inside. Jesus! She was smiling as she turned around after closing the door behind her. We walked over to my desk. Tina sat down opposite me, still smiling. AWe=ve got to sort something out about you reading every thought I have.@ I smiled at her. ASooner or later I=m going to really stuff up.@ She belly-laughed again. It was almost a sensual laughter, seemingly coming from the pit of her stomach in a very relaxed fashion. AI like to laugh.@ she read my mind again. AIt=s good for the soul.@ AJesus!@ I said out loud, exasperated with myself. Tina laughed again. When she=d settled I asked what I wanted to ask. AAre you a natural mind-reader, or did you learn it in here?@ AI was taught it in here.@ she answered. ABut once you get the hang of it, and you understand what you=re trying to do it becomes second nature.@ AMust come in handy at times.@ I mused. ACan everybody here do it?@ ANot everybody.@ she replied. ABut not everybody needs to, or even knows about it. Only selected people are told and then taught. And you are one who has been chosen to be told and t hen taught, or I wouldn=t have given you an insight into it in the first place. I=m just wetting your appetite. There=s more exciting things than mind-reading you=ve yet to discover. And much more than that again in your work here with us I hope.@ I just sat and looked at her-stared at her would be more correct. I=d never had a redhead in my life, although I=d always wondered if they were as red between the legs as they were on their head. Then, as I was looking at her she blushed a scarlet crimson which was very noticeable on her pale, smooth skin. AYes.@ she said softly. AWe are.@ AJesus!@ I twigged. AI=m sorry! I=m just not used to watching every natural thought I have about people. AThat=s okay.@ she smiled at me sincerely. AI must admit it=s fun.@ Then she added quickly as an afterthought. AMost of the time.@ ADo you any drugs with the patients?@ I asked, changing the subject away from her reading my mind. I could see it caught her a little by surprise. ANo. Everything is natural. No drugs whatsoever.@ she answered. AWhat you have to do now is to take home that dossier and go through it carefully. Then you have to select a field, or suggest one to us for authorisation if none in there take your special interest. Then you can start work on it. Reports are required daily as I=ve already told you, as well as the video tapes of each patient you work with. I forgot to tell you there=s a hidden camera in the tape deck. I=ll show you how to use it another time.@ She sat back and let her gaze wander idly around the room. Then her face suddenly became serious as her eyes settled squarely back on me. She leaned forward again, resting her hands on the top of my desk. APeter. The work we do here is very serious. Each one of us feel particularly proud to have been selected and given the opportunity to conduct our research, and be paid well for it at the same time. We work hard here, but we also play hard, as you=ll see. Weekends are for recreation and not work of any kind. Nobody wants to burn out. The work is just too important. We all meet every Sunday if we want to mix. It=s like a big, extended family. I love it. But I love the work more.@ I just sat and listened to the sincerity in her voice. She spoke with her heart., It was hard for me not to warm to her personality. I didn=t think I=d ever met anyone quite like her. She suddenly smiled a soft smile at me, and then I remembered. AJesus!@ I sighed tiredly. AI=ll never learn.@ AThank you for the compliment.@ she said quietly. AI don=t get too many of them along those lines.@ And with that she stood up and turned to leave. ATina?@ AYes.@ she answered, turning back to face me. AWhat is your project area?@ AYou=ll find out soon enough.@ she smiled. ADon=t forget the dossier. I=ll walk you back down to the car. It=s waiting to take you back to your office. I=ve got to attend the daily report meeting. I=ll call you tomorrow to see if you=ve any questions on what you=ve seen so far. And also if you=ve got a feeling for any particular project. Remember, it can be a suggestion of yours.@ AAre there any limiting guidelines?@ I asked. ANo. Only your imagination.@ she replied. AAnd the objective must have a benefit for someone, or something, somewhere.@ AOkay.@ I said and rose to follow her out of the office and down to the outside of the nondescript building that was going to be my new home for the next so many weeks, months or years. As the big limo pulled up to a gentle halt in front of me Tina turned and looked me squarely in the eye. AI hope you like it here Peter. We=ve all got high hopes for your work, whatever it turns out to be.@ I gazed into the depths of those deep eyes, thinking nothing about her sexuality whatsoever. She smiled. AYou=re learning.@ she grinned. AI intend to.@ I countered. AThen watch out.@ She smiled as the door cracked open by itself. I slid into the comfortable leather interior and waved as the white chariot pulled away from the curb. Chemistry is chemistry, I thought as I imagined vividly Tina=s naked body with its flaming red hair top and bottom clearly in my mind=s eye: so clearly in fact, that I could almost reach out and touch her. I don=t think I=d ever had an image that seemed so real and life-like. Then I settled back to stare at the reflection of myself in the blackened plate plexi-glass that separated the driver from where I sat letting everything I had seen and heard and thought wash over me. Suddenly I felt drained: tired and very drained. I let my eyes close and just rested for the rest of the drive until I sensed through my foggy mental haze that all motion in any direction had ceased. I came back to full alertness with the same thought in my fore-mind. Chemistry is chemistry, and, between Tina and I, it existed. It was as simple as that. I stepped out into the afternoon sunshine with the dossier tucked tightly under my left arm and closed the door, watching the large, white limo glide silently off into the distance. I wondered that I had still not seen the driver=s face, but I really didn=t care. I was tired. This had been one hell of a day. One hell of a day indeed! By midnight that same night I was wide awake, my mind burning with ideas generated by pouring over the files of research contained in the dossier, as well as projects of my own that I=d always been interested in or played with. I couldn=t believe there were so many fields that hypnosis could be applied to. It was amazing, some of them leaving the ethics of my industry so far behind so as not to even exist. But nothing I=d read had hinted at anything underhanded where the patient was concerned. Everything seemed to be about finding techniques that worked and that could be replicated by other therapists, over and over again. I finally closed the dossier at one thirty, had a shower and then fell into bed exhausted. Sleep came to me as I imagined the flaming red hair, top and bottom once again in my mind of Tina Clark. I awoke with the same image in my mind and the same thought-chemistry is chemistry. I showered and changed, then began organising my day. I had already chosen another therapist who could take over my existing patients and he was one I could trust to stick to the publicised ethic of our trade: >Do no harm-treat the cause.= A phone call later and that was done. I wanted to clear my slate as quickly as possible for some reason. Maybe I was excited. It happened occasionally. Not often lately, but occasionally. Again I had the image of Tina Clark naked in all her red, flaming glory. I was amazed. I had never had an image linger so long, so strongly or so vividly in my mind before about anything. I couldn=t figure it out, and when it came to me I thought I had everything figured out after forty seven years of trying. Next was my office-the old one. The landlord and I had always gotten on after I had cured his wife of smoking and a few sexual anxieties caused by her well-meaning mother. As luck would have it there was a chiropractor looking for an office in the area and mine would suit him just fine, the landlord told me. I hung up relieved. Being let out of the lease agreement had been on my mind since I realised I was becoming serious about Tina Clark=s offer of employment. I decided to drive down to the old office and clear out my things, send the files of existing patients to their new therapist. The sooner I had a clean slate the better. I couldn=t wait until Monday. In fact, I didn=t want to wait until Monday. And then I remembered. I took out the envelope containing all the money Tina had given me as my first months salary. I had to bank it. With my luck I=d get mugged if I didn=t. I stared at it for a long time before putting it back in the envelope and heading off to do the jobs that needed doing, thinking no further ahead than that. By twelve thirty I was back in my apartment, looking down at the ocean with all its scattered array of sailing boats dotting the backdrop of its emerald-green depths, and the swimmers and fisherman marking their presence in the surf close to the shore and along the beach. My apartment was on the sixth floor and faced to the East. I=d spent a long time in finding it. I needed the ocean to disappear within myself at the end of a long and tiring day with other people=s problems. I liked it, and, I called it home. I had thought about changing my place of abode since meeting Tina Clark: moving to something a bit more luxurious, but had then dismissed the idea without a second thought. I was happy here and always had been. >If it aint broke-don=t fix it=, came the old adage that had crossed my time at the thought of leaving. I decided it was a wise old saying and settled down into the lounge with a drink to gaze out over the sea and the far distant horizon where my eyes had often travelled seeking infinity to relax them before a period of self-hypnosis. I still couldn=t believe everything that happened in my life over the past twenty four hours. Shaking my head I got up and mixed myself a fresh drink, then sat down again into the comfort of the lounge, resting my head momentarily on the soft back before straightening to gaze out over the ocean and into infinity once more. As my eyes relaxed and my concentration focussed I could feel myself slipping down into a light, pleasant and comfortable trance state. I decided to go with it and just let my thoughts come and go as they wished: not trying to make anything happen, and not trying to stop anything from happening: just allowing everything to happen naturally, easily, just as it wished. MY thoughts began to wander: to come and go. And I let them, watching, observing, being fully there in them, but not involved in any way: caring from a distance only. And they came and they went: one after the other: unimportant thoughts of a lot of things, yet nothing in particular. My trance state deepened as I watched my thoughts live their lives and disappear to wherever they went after coming into conscious awareness. The lounge, my apartment and the swimmers and fishermen and sail boats had faded from my awareness as my relaxed concentration and focus remained fixed on the lives of my thoughts of the moment. My focus had narrowed and my trance deepened even more with its narrowing. My breathing had shallowed and my hand rested lightly around the glass as it lay on the small table beside the lounge. Then one thought kept returning: Tina Clark in all her naked and flaming glory: as bright and real and life-like as if she were right in front of my eyes. I even imagined I could smell the perfume she was wearing the day before as I sank deeper into the image until she was all there was in my mind and my imagination. I was aware of myself being amazed in a relaxed and focussed way as I went further and further into the illusion of Tina=s naked glory within my mind=s eye. Nothing else existed but her: her long, red hair reaching down to well below her shoulders: her neck, white and slender and long: her shoulders slightly rounded with a mole just above her left arm where the shoulder begins: her breasts-full and jutting for a woman of her maturity, with long, dark nipples and wide areola=s at their base: her flat stomach, rounding only slightly as it dipped down into the lush and thick thatch of flaming, curly red pubic hair: her hips and thighs, curving gracefully downward to well-shaped calves and ankles: all the way down to her feet, dainty in their unusual black toe-nail polish and their repose as she stood there, tall and beautiful in my mind=s eye in all her magnificent, naked glory. Then slowly the image of her began to fade, almost as if someone was slowly turning down the projector of my mind=s eye. It happened like that at times when I used self- hypnosis and really tranced deeply. Everything slowly went to gray and then to black as I recognised the insides of my own eyelids once again. I opened them and blinked slowly a few times, re-orienting myself to my surroundings, feeling very relaxed and calm as I always did whenever I came from a deep trance. Gradually my apartment, the lounge, my body and my drink all came back into my awareness. I brought the glass to my mouth and drained the contents remaining in one gulp. A dry mouth and throat was the price you paid for the benefits of such a deep trance state. Then I just sat there for a few minutes, idly wondering at the tricks of the mind in why I imagined Tina Clark with a mole on her left arm at the top and black polish on her toenails. That=s what happened I guess. It had been a long time since I had been naturally attracted to a woman. Too bloody long, in fact. Then, slowly, those things, too, began to fade from my conscious mind as I began to think about an idea I had as a tiny thought the night before while I had been studying the files in the thick dossier. I have always believed that there were many doors that could be opened in a person=s subconscious mind: not just bottom out and that=s all there is and there aint more, as some of my associates did. I believed that there was an incredible amount of knowledge that could be tapped into and used for the good of all, if it could be discovered how to do it, which just took time and opportunity. Well, now I had both-time, and the opportunity to research and develop something of the like as far as a technique goes. I wondered how they would take to that idea. And the more I thought about it, the different ways of trancing a patient down to those levels where the various doors were I believed existed, the more excited I became about the idea. I was especially interested in getting right down to the source of a person, and, if I was right in my long-held assumptions and beliefs it would be the source of us all-the collective unconscious as Jung and many others had articled so many times in their careers. Suddenly I had it-the project I wanted to work on. I wanted to discover the technique for reaching and utilising the collective unconscious of mankind. I sat back and let the idea cement itself in my own unconscious mind. A not-so-small task I knew, but now I had the time, and I had the opportunity, and most certainly all of mankind would benefit in some way. I lit a smoke and inhaled deeply as the connotations ran around and around in my mind. Three cigarettes later the idea was firmly entrenched in both my minds so as to become a dominant thought whenever I wished it. The phone rang and interrupted my next intention of reaching for another cigarette. I smiled. Good! Both I and my lungs knew I smoked too much anyway. I lifted the receiver, idly expecting it to be the landlord about my bond. It wasn=t. AHello?@ asked the quiet and smooth velvet voice that had been invading my thoughts so as almost to become a dominant thought itself, if I hadn=t had so many other interesting things to fixate on. Hi.@ I answered smiling. AWhat=s new and different in your life?@ I asked. And then added; AApart from me.@ I held the phone away from my ear just a little while her belly-laugh subsided. ANice to know you=ve got a sense of humour after all. I wasn=t sure for a while there.@ Tina laughed gaily. AAny ideas for your project yet? Just thought I=d ring and check. See if you had any questions or anything like that.@ My thoughts came back instantly to my trance image of the dark mole above her shoulder and her black-painted toenails, but I had no intention of asking her. She=d think I was crazy. Whatever my image was in her mind I didn=t want to damage it. I might need it later when I told her about my project idea. AOne or two.@ I said. ACare to elaborate?@ ANot yet.@ I replied. AI need to crystallise a few aspects in the area of objectives yet. You >ll be the first to know.@ AOkay. No problems. Whenever you=re ready.@ AThanks.@ I said. APeter. Would you like a visitor? I=m at loose ends for the afternoon if you=re not busy.@ she asked unexpectedly. Once again the image of my earlier trance flashed vividly into my mind=s eye. ASure.@ I told her. AI=ve done all I can for today anyway. Give my mind a rest.@ AThat=s great!@ she said. I=ll be there in about an forty five minutes. There=s something I have to just tidy up, and then I=ll be right over. I know where you live.@ AFigured you did.@ I grinned into the mouthpiece. ASee you then.@ I hung up, then went back and sat down in the lounge, after first making myself a fresh Rum and Coke. I reached over and grabbed the foolscap notepad I always kept handy to the lounge, then took my pen from my pocket. I began making some preliminary notes and jottings about my intended project: aims, objectives, etcetera, then some minor sub- objectives which eventually correlated back into the achieving of the main aim. By the time I finished it made sense in a round-a-bout sort of way. The main thing was the establishing of the major aim, along with the foundation objectives, each developing logically in their own right, and each being sub-connected with the aim itself: threads above and below and then finishing with the completed aim. In other words, I had a plan. Granted, it was much of a one in its infancy, but it was a beginning, and, it could only improve from there. All I had to do now was allocate the trance level states to their appropriate objectives. There were five known trance level states: Alpha, Beta, Theta, Delta, Plenary, and Cerebellar, the last two being those of particular interest to me, mainly since so little known research had been done on their existence. I emphasised the word >known= in my mind as I thought of it. Most of us did research of a private nature in some area of the mind that held a special interest for us. Who knows? There may be waiting to be discovered many more trance level states than those. As I was re-reading my notes from start to finish for the third time looking for flaws in my logic the doorbell buzzed and drew my focus out and away. I put down the foolscap pad and walked to the door, opening it to a smiling Tina Clark, dressed very casually in a pair of knee-length white summer shorts and a soft pink tank-top with an embroidered picture of a small cat over her left breast. She looked great, I had to admit. AHi!@ she beamed as she walked past me and into the lounge area. Then she went immediately to the balcony and looked out over the ocean as I always did when first coming into the apartment, simply as a matter of habit. I closed the door and followed her through to stand beside her, breathing the cool, salt air right to the bottom of my lungs, then exhaling it with a long, slow sigh. She turned to glance at me and grinned at hearing my sigh. AMakes you glad to be alive. Doesn=t it?@ I stated matter-of-factly, grinning thinly. AYou must love it here.@ she said excitedly as she turned her gaze back to infinity and those who were enjoying themselves on the ocean=s surface. AI do.@ I replied. AI was toying with the idea of moving, but never got very serious about it. I like it here too much, I guess.@ AStay here.@ Tina agreed, turning around away from me and walking back inside to take a seat in the one I had been occupying. I turned and followed, again. Getting to be a habit, I thought, as I joined her in the single chair opposite. ACan I get you a drink?@ I asked. ANo thanks. I=ve taken the afternoon off and have plans for this evening. I don=t feel like drinking before then. I rarely do during the day anyway, unless it=s a special occasion.@ ASame here.@ I agreed. AAnd today is a special occasion for me, with everything that=s happened in the last twenty four hours.@ AWhat do you think of it all so far?@ Tina then asked. I took a deep breath and again let it out slowly, but not loudly. AI=m happy to have been afforded the time and opportunity, not to mention salary to explore the subject of my choice in the field of my choice.@ I answered, then grinned. AStock answer?@ she grinned back. ANo really! What do you really feel inside?@ I looked at her carefully, feeling a little sad for what was to come and studying her eyes and features for a few seconds. AWhy does it matter?@ I asked quietly. Tina=s smile faded instantly as her gaze locked onto my own. AIt doesn=t, I guess.@ she said ruefully, lowering her gaze from mine. AI just wondered if you were as motivated as I was when it first happened to me.@ I felt a good dose of guilt wash over me and was sorry instantly. AI=m sorry Tina.@ I apologised sincerely. AI guess I=m still a bit suspicious of everything yet.@ AAre you suspicious of me too?@ she asked looking up at me. I thought before answering, then decided to be honest. Time to clear my head and the air. AA little.@ I admitted. AYou read minds easily. There could be a hidden agenda. I really wouldn=t know. And you=re here.@ Then I smiled. AYou know, I can=t remember the last time a woman who looked like you do graced the presence of my humble abode. Why are you here, really?@ Tina Clark just sat and looked at me: stared or glowered was more like it. Then she lowered her eyes and just looked at the floor. The silence was deafening for a long few seconds. Then she slowly rose to her feet, picking up her handbag as did so. Boy! Was I ever having a dose of guilt and a half! I sat there and hardened my gaze at her, waiting for her to look at me and say goodbye. She did in the next second. Time to get it over with-the inevitable. Damn! ATina.@ I began. AA moment ago you asked me something. I like you and figured you wanted and deserved my honest answer, which is what you asked for. You can=t really get upset about that.@ I took a breath. AI do have a question for you though, if you=d like to sit down to answer it. Then we can put all this aside and get on with our lives. What do you say?@ She looked at me the entire time I spoke, then sat down again slowly, purse still clutched in her hands and resting on her lap. AWhat=s your question?@ she asked softly, still not looking at me. ACan I have an honest answer?@ I said. She looked up, her eyes hardening. Good. I wanted her looking straight at me when I voiced a suspicion that had been nagging me since my trance vision earlier. ADo you have any other personal projects, other than what were listed in the dossier under your name?@ I asked quietly, without blinking. AWhy do you ask?@ she hedged. AIs that your idea of an honest answer?@ I asked her. She blinked, her face solemn. AI...er...I=m conducting some research into several other areas at the moment.@ she replied. I hardened my gaze and trapped hers within it, not letting it escape while I spoke my real suspicion. AWould one of them be thought projection, or something similar?@ I voiced, watching for movement in the tiny muscles in her jaw-line. To my amazement Tina hung her head. I saw the beginnings of a grin before it faded when she looked up, her face once again solemn. ABefore I answer that,@ she said. ACan you tell me what has happened that has caused you to think that?@ AYou have black polish on your toenails which you were not wearing yesterday. And I=d hazard to even guess you have a dark mole above your left shoulder, for starters; not to mention an amazing piece of imagery that could answer every question I might have ever had about redheads.@ I grinned. AHave I got them all?@ Tina clapped her hands excitedly and squealed like a baby shrieking, grinning like a Cheshire cat. AAll but one.@ she said. My heart sank a little. I thought the idea had been my own. I knew it had been too good to be true. AThen it would come to no surprise to you know that the project I thought I=d chosen was the collective unconscious. Would it?@ I finished, feeling not very good all of a sudden. Her eyes stopped laughing, but her lips and mouth still held the grin as she answered. ANo.@ she said. AIt wouldn=t. But I was going to tell you.@ The sadness of it all washed over my mind and body at the same time. How could I trust anyone in that organisation if I couldn=t trust her, the one who had had the most contact with me so far, and had recruited me. We had a rapport of sorts, or I thought we did. I=d never know whether my thoughts of the future would be my own, or hers, apart from the nagging problem of her reading my mind. I held her gaze while I ran this thought process by myself for the final act I knew was to come. Then I stood up and walked over to where my cheque book lay on the breakfast bar, and wrote her a cheque to cover the amount of the salary they had paid me which I had banked that morning. I tore the cheque off the stub and turned to see the puzzled look on her face as I handed it to her. AThanks, but ... no thanks.@ I said a little sadly, without overdoing it. It was just how I felt. As if I=d been let down, or my trust had been. AI=ll show you out.@ I stood aside and waited for her to rise. For a few long seconds she didn=t. Her mouth began to open a few times, but each time it shut again: whatever she had been about to say stifled in the infancy of its own birth in her thoughts. For a second I thought her eyes misted, but then they cleared in an instant. Probably concerned about her own job now, I figured, if it had been emotional mist in her eyes. Finally, it dawned on her I was deadly serious. I walked over to the table and picked up the dossier. I wouldn=t be needing that now. ADon=t worry about the official secrets act thingo.@ I told her as she rose and stood, taking the dossier I handed to her. AJust send it to me in the mail and I=ll sign it and send it back. I=ll show you out now.@ I didn=t feel like looking at her. I walked her to the door, slightly ahead of her ... for a change, I thought ironically. I opened the door. She passed by me and turned, her eyes still wide open and very deep in surprise at my actions. Her face and expression was unreadable. APeter, I...@ she began, but I cut her off. I didn=t feel like talking about something that was now over before it had begun. AHave a nice life.@ I said to her as I began to slowly close the door. AAnd don=t bother calling. My decision is now irreversible.@ I pressed the door shut and walked back to the kitchen, fixing another drink. Then I sat down on the outside table on the balcony and began to fix my gaze upon infinity, just beyond the distant ocean, letting my thoughts run out to sea with my gaze, far beyond the horizon and all that lay betwixt and between, including the acute sense of depression that was rapidly consuming my being. What a let-down, I reflected, as I sipped the cool Rum and Coke. Talk about a fast twenty four hours. Jesus! I groaned as I thought of having to reverse all the things I=d done regarding my own practice earlier in the day. Oh well, I accepted. That was life. I never did have any trouble in accepting the things I couldn=t change. I was good at accepting. I had been accepting things all my life. And this, was just another one of those things that had been meant to go that way in my life. I breathed deeply of the fresh salt air, pulling it deeply to the bottom of my lungs, held it for a few seconds, then slowly exhaled my frustrations into the atmosphere. The phone shrilled politely. I liked that phone, specifically for its polite shrill. It never demanded to be answered, quite content to politely let me know it someone needed my attention whenever I was ready to pick up the receiver. I hauled myself out of the deck chair and walked over to it, thanking it for its politeness, then shook my head at the way I thought of inanimate objects as having personalities. Maybe I=d lost it already. AHello?@ I answered. AMr Wallace.@ the man=s even voice spoke. It was a statement of fact and not a question. And he was right. I was. AYes. I am.@ I said flatly. AMy name is Henderson. We met last night at the reports meeting.@ I waited, saying nothing. What was there to say that hadn=t already been said? What did they want? A fax? AMr Wallace.@ he began, obviously sick of waiting. AI=ve just had a rather disturbing call from Tina Clark. She told me the full details of what happened-of what she=d done.@ Same answer. Nothing. I waited again as he was. He lost again. AMr Wallace. Tina made a very serious mistake. She knows that, and will be severely reprimanded for it. Her actions in her private experiment did not have our sanction, which it must have, in order to avoid situations like this.@ Round three, and I intended to win that one too. I did. AMr Wallace.@ I wondered if he was getting sick of the one-sided conversation. I know I was. AI=d like to come and see you-to talk to you and explain what motivated Tina. I know and I understand. That doesn=t excuse her actions, but when I explain everything you will. I assure you.@ I decided then to let him win the next and final round. After all, he was paying for the call. AMr Henderson.@ I began, my own voice sounding tired and fed up, which it was. This had been a shit of a day and didn=t look like getting any better within the next few minutes. AI appreciate the agenda behind your call, and there are no hard feelings. Only disappointed ones. My decision is irreversible, as I told Tina. If you have nothing further to say, I=ve got to re-plan my life for the second time in twenty four hours.@ AMr Wallace.@ he began quickly. ACan=t I at least explain Tina=s motivation behind her actions?@ AI=m not interested, thanks all the same. Good bye Mr Henderson.@ I said, and then hung up the polite phone gently, treating it with the same respect it had always shown me. Then I decided I needed some fresh air. A walk along the beach sounded just right. * * * THE MULE Chapter III * * * I=d walked slowly along the beach for about a half an hour, stopping every now and then to ponder a thought before moving slowly on again: kicking the sand every now and then if the thought happened to be a frustrating or depressing one: standing in the cool, refreshing wash of the waves as they broke around and over my bare feet and ankles. I=d always found it very relaxing and calming to do that. My gaze never left the far-off horizon as I walked, just allowing my thoughts to travel wherever they wished. That way the distance involved in the walk never seemed very far to me. Almost a light trance which, in fact, it was. My mind elsewhere while my body did the walking under the control of my subconscious mind. I glanced down at the watch on my right hand, the face of it turned inward on the inside of my wrist for easier glancing without twisting my arm. It was just after three-thirty. The heat had gone out of the sun=s rays and it was very nice with the gentle sea breeze on my face as I stopped walking and just stood in the swirling sea water up to my ankles. Time to go back. I turned slowly without looking up. My gaze dropped from the distant relaxing horizon to the frothy water and bubbles seething around my ankles as another small wave broke over them and my thoughts sank down into the turmoil of the water around my legs.. Then I began the long, slow walk back. I=d only taken a about a dozen steps through the swirling, white frothy cool water when I suddenly became aware of someone standing directly in front of me. I had been so deep in thought I stopped abruptly, my head and eyes rising quickly in slight shock with my thoughts being so far away, deep down in the white froth and tumbling water around my feet, then to be wrenched back to the here and now so quickly. It was Tina. She just stood looking at me with a lost child, wistful look on her face: her usually smiling mouth and lips a little down-turned at the corners. My eyes hardened a little, and then relaxed. Live and let live, I thought, wondering and then knowing what she was doing there. AHave you always been such a deep thinker?@ she asked quietly, the distance between us being only a few feet. ASeems that way.@ I replied evenly, not venturing any more conversation than that. AMind if I walk back with you?@ she asked further. My eyes hardened again. AIt=s a free beach.@ I answered. Then we began to walk through the small breaking waves together, just like a couple, out for a late afternoon stroll who might be talking about or planning their future together. That thought depressed me. I kicked the sand lightly beneath the water. AThere=s a definite pattern to your walking.@ she said as if talking out loud to herself. I didn=t answer. What was there to say. She was right, so it didn=t need talking about. We continued slowly through the swirling water, each deep in our own thoughts, and with me not caring in the slightest what hers might be. In fact, I resented her being there. I had been enjoying my walk and my thoughts wandering. It helped. AYou fucked it. Now you fix it.@ she said suddenly, quietly, but positively. I stopped, surprised at her language, not that I was a prude. She halted beside me. It was just unexpected. That=s all. I kept my gaze on my ankles. Then I began to move slowly forward again. What could I possibly say to that. It had been her thought. If she wanted to elaborate, as I knew she did, she would. And then she did, after only a few more steps. AThat=s what he told me, and he=s right.@ she said with a sigh. ABut I don=t know how.@ She began to walk slightly ahead of me then until she was about six feet in front, splashing lightly through the small breaking waves with her feet, occasionally kicking the sand with her right foot. Tina wore a different set of clothes to what she had worn earlier in the day when she had been at my apartment. She now wore a loose-fitting white cotton shirt, not tucked in, and tied around the waist in a knot. It was unbuttoned to just the beginning of her cleavage. About one or two inches of brown bare skin showed before the waist-band of her shorts, which were also white and thin, the outline of her brief underwear being clearly visible beneath. She had a nice figure. I had to give her that: firm and tight in all the right places, for someone her age. She stopped abruptly, then continued, her head moving slowly from right to left as if she were shaking it slowly in thought. I wondered really why she was here. I had no intention of changing my decision about working for them. Oh well, I figured. She might get a relaxing walk for her trouble, if nothing else. I had closed the distance between us a few steps when she stopped. I was now walking slowly, only a few feet behind her. I couldn=t seem to concentrate on the swirling water any more, with my gaze seemingly travelling between the sand at her feet and the gentle swaying movement of her firm buttocks as she walked. Then she changed her direction slightly, walking more deeply into the water and the waves until they rolled gently around her hips. She continued on in that depth for a dozen or so steps before once again changing direction and moving back to the shore until the water moved gently around her feet and ankles once again. Now my gaze had to contend with her wet shorts being gripped between her buttocks as she walked, which only accentuated clearly the firm shape of her figure. Her underwear I could see now was of the >g= string variety which left her firm flesh free and unfeathered as they moved within the loose, clinging confines of the wet material of her shorts. I smiled. I guess the sight of her really didn=t need that much contending with after all. Then I realised that I=d smiled for the first time I could remember since she=d left my apartment. I shook my head slowly. Where the hell was all of this going? I didn=t know, and, I didn=t care. Not really. AYou fucked it, now you fix it.@ Her statement ran around in my mind suddenly. Was this how she was fixing it? Giving me a wet-shorts exhibition? I smiled. Nice try anyway. Not very original, but certainly creative, and, entertaining-most entertaining indeed. Finally we left the water=s edge and walked slowly back up to the paved walkway which led to my apartment building. She never left my side. We reached the turn-off which would take me through the glass doors and to the elevator. I stopped and turned to look at her, only to find she was staring directly at me. She must have been waiting for me to turn. AI guess it=s good bye.@ I said with a sigh and a thin smile of politeness. AIt doesn=t have to be.@ she answered softly, looking deeply into my eyes. I refused to let my gaze have its way and travel down to the still-wet fork of her shorts. My loss, but who cared? AWhat=s the point?@ I said wearily, wishing she would just go. My hormones were beginning to give me trouble as I continued to wrestle mentally with my gaze and its very strong wishes. It=s all about chemistry, I thought, as I won the battle for the moment and held her gaze in mine. Then, as I watched her eyes they twinkled and sparkled. The corners of her mouth turned cheekily upward into a grin I=d expect to see on a fifteen year old who=d just had a secretive thought. AI was hoping you=d show me just that.@ she smiled, showing her beautiful teeth as her lips pulled back with her smile. I took a deep breath and sighed loudly. I didn=t need this shit, It was hard enough to accept everything that had happened without her adding insult to injury in thinking I could be swayed by her flaunting her body to get me to change my decision. Jesus! ATina.@ I began wearily. AI=m not changing my mind. You=ll have to accept, it as I=ve already done. This ... A and then my gaze won its battle finally as it travelled quickly down to the wet, clinging material of her shorts which outlined her very shapely centre with very clear definition indeed. Then I immediately regained control again. It wasn=t easy. AThis isn=t going to work.@ I sighed. A And its beneath you anyway.@ I finished and turned slowly to go anyway. APeter.@ she said softly. AThis, has nothing to do with your decision. I know your decision=s been made, and won=t be changed. This, has to do with just me ... and you.@ I turned back to look at her, searching her eyes for the truth, if it was there at all. I read nothing in the depths of her shining pools of liquid. AI just wanted to share an experience with you before we went from each other=s lives. The right chemistry doesn=t come along all that often.@ she said, seeming genuine as her eyes flicked away and then returned to hold my gaze. AAnd sometimes, it ... it can be a long wait for when it finally does.@ She paused to take a breath. AI know it=s there, and you do too. I know. I=m not a teenager, and I=m not looking for a husband. And, I don=t do one- night stands. I wait, and I hope. And when it does come along, I have the belief that it was destined to. I guess ... that=s the point.@ she finished softly, her voice trailing off to nothing. A nice speech, I thought, as I held her gaze, all thoughts of my own wanting to keep travelling downward between her thighs now gone completely. A seemingly genuine speech too. And, she was right. I thought exactly the same way. Quality, not quantity was the password to my hormonal release, on the rare occasion that it happened. And, I had to admit, I had been defeated, by that heart-felt speech, and, a pair of wet and clinging, see-through shorts. I felt that smile of defeat coming long before it arrived. When it did, her face lit up like a Christmas tree with her own broad grin. She linked her arm through mine as if we had been lovers forever, resting her head against my shoulder as we walked inside the building and went upstairs to my apartment. By the time the door had closed behind us the mutual chemistry and natural electricity of sensual anticipation had reached its peak in both of us, to be heightened only more so when our lips softly met. I gently leaned her back against the closed door and melted against her softness with my lips, chest, stomach and thighs. My mind and senses tingled all over, as they always did when the chemistry was so right. My senses flamed with the change in my hormones as our yielding, gentle, slightly salty kiss deepened: the electric touch of our tongues in their mutual discovery only served to fan the already seething flames of lust and passion that had been kindled naturally between us, until finally, breathless, we gently ended that remarkable and very wonderful first kiss. I smiled as I withdrew my senses from the central depths of her deep, milky eyes and stood back, holding her gently by the shoulders at arms length, just drowning in her enraptured gaze. I hadn=t felt such a deeply-sensed first kiss, or any kiss, for that matter, for a very long time. I smiled into her flushed face and shining, glistening eyes as she grinned softly back at me. APeter.@ she began to say, but I halted her with my finger gently pressed vertically over my own lips. Now was not the time for talk of any kind. It would only spoil whatever destiny had in store for both of us, and I didn=t want that to happen, feeling no need to analyse or discuss anything other than in the way our bodies and minds would decide through our mutual and natural sensual communication. She exhaled the remaining breath she had been holding when I=d silenced her with my gesture, and breathed again, her lips slightly open as she drew air in a light, panting fashion. My own breath was more than a little heavy itself as I gazed into her eyes. Then I let my hands drop from her shoulders and took her right hand in mine, leading her to the shower as I walked forward, gently pulling her behind me like a schoolgirl. We took our time in undressing each other, kissing and embracing as we each had our turn, with me having a wonderful time as I peeled down those wet, clinging shorts over her hips and thighs. The >g= type panties came away to reveal the deepest red, and lushest thatch of thick, curly pubic hair I=d ever seen in my life. The flaming red triangle of matted soft down had been trimmed neatly to cater for a very deep bikini line. It took all the internal strength I had to not take her orally to her own pleasure peak right then and there, but I managed it, wondering how she=d do when it became her turn in that area. I needn=t have worried. She tantalised me maddeningly, but stayed clear of my centre. By the time we stood together beneath the gentle spraying jets of cool, yet warm water, my body had risen fully to the occasion. The darkened nipples and areolas of her breasts had also joined my centre in their mutual enjoyment of the anticipated ending to our union when it finally came. But for now, the time was for pleasuring and for discovering and knowing-deeply, passionately, and fully as we took turns in using our hands, lips and bodies to heighten an already incredibly charged sexual tension between us. By the time we had finished gently padding each other=s tingling and glowing bodies dry with the soft towel we had both reached a state of prolonged sensual liberty and freedom, that I, for one, had not had the exquisite pleasure of enjoying for a very long time. So long, in fact, that I honestly couldn=t remember when. As I lay her down on the bed I felt that I was in trance, light-headed, yet very calm and very relaxed, focussed fully on there here and now, yet fully experiencing every and each flowing wave of sensual pleasure as it washed over my mind, body and senses. I rolled gently over her to the natural parting of her warm thighs, and, upon entering slowly her warm, moist body I experienced the exquisite liquid grip of being ensnared by her centre=s warmth and slick wetness of arousal. The musky scent of her sexual awakening to my presence I drew deeply into my lungs, feeling it harden the already hard core deeply embedded to the hilt within the confines of her grasping flesh. Tina moaned in my right ear her acceptance of my full entry. I felt her legs and thighs lift. Then her ankles locked around my lower back as she began to gently rock her thighs in time with my long and slowly, but fully penetrating entries inside her slick and contracting saddle. We were both savouring the experience of minds and bodies joining, I could tell. I began to feel my mind sink further and further down and away from conscious awareness as I allowed my senses to swim freely in the gentle rocking and rolling waves of pleasure that broke over me, one after the other, like the waves I had seen that morning as we=d walked the beach together. It seemed never-ending as my mind and senses sank even more deeply with each kiss of her lips on mine, her mouth encompassing me fully, her tongue with a life and mission of its own: exploring, knowing and enrapturing. Her breasts seemed like two hot and hard irons of fire against my chest as our gentle rocking began to gather its own natural momentum in preparation for the climbing of pleasure=s high mountain together, and, in that happening did my conscious mind sink even more deeply into the abyss of our destined joining. Higher and higher did we climb together, while deeper and deeper did our minds sink into their own very depths, freeing our souls to meet on the plane of the unearthly and join in spirit as well. I truly felt as if my subconscious mind had been released fully for the first time in my life, sensing, feeling as if I was meeting her on another level, of mind and senses alone: more alive: more sensual: knowing and feeling: experiencing every thought she was having in her rapture while she experienced that of me. I felt as if I were her, receiving my pleasure, and, that she felt the same way in being me, receiving her own in return as the momentum of our seemingly endless journey upward began to find its own natural level in our bodies and senses in the quickening rocking action of her hips and buttocks as they rolled in perfect timing to meet each and every deepening stroke within her central core. From somewhere far off in the distance I became aware of singing voices, like an angelic quire, praising the union of our first meeting: the fulfilling of a destiny that had been meant to be fulfilled in every way. Tina=s voice in my ear sounded distant also as her hips and thighs lost the final control to the jerking, involuntary reception of her pleasure=s peak. She arched high and hard beneath me, moaning loudly her rapture as I emptied in mutual agreement with her body=s urgent call. Again and again did her contracting, heaving core draw me from within myself as I pulsed and released continually inside the gripping and releasing confines of her channel, until at last our union had been completed and we lay still on top of one another, cresting the sea of passion spent: luxuriously riding the waves of slowly dying passion as we floated ever-downward on a sea of soft caresses and unintelligible murmuring. Then, with a deep sigh, I relaxed fully in body and mind and knew no more, giving myself up completely to the all-encompassing feeling of experiencing the deepest feeling of relaxation and calm I have ever experienced in my entire life. I was floating in the wondrous off heavens shore: drifting lazily and a warm afterglow which deepened my peace and healed my mind of all past hurts. And then I slept, and again found Tina waiting for me in my dreams, red-haired and beautiful. And together in my dreams did we once again join in mind and body in a rapturous union of two souls that I felt in the heart of that dream had always been destined to be. I awoke to an empty bed and the aroma of our joining, so strong still in my mind and senses. Blinking to full alertness a few times I sat up and rubbed my eyes, noticing how really good I felt: strong and loose. I hadn=t felt like that for a long time. I called her name, but there was no answer. I knew she=d gone. I glanced at the clock on the wall. It had been several hours since we had entered the apartment. I remembered noticing the clock beside the door just before that very first kiss. I glanced at the window. It was dark outside and the view of the city from my bedroom window looked glorious. Everything looked glorious, and I felt wonderful! I couldn=t believe how wonderful I felt until I walked fresh from the shower, dressed in nothing but a wet towel. It was almost as if everything that had ever worried or concerned me had been lifted from my mind in that one beautiful joining of our hearts, minds and bodies. I was amazed-literally amazed. I had never felt like that after love-making before. I actually believed in every sense possible that I was alive! I reached over to the bedside table and grabbed the packet of cigarettes. Lighting one and drawing it deep into my lungs I coughed, then reminded myself sternly that I wouldn=t be alive for much longer if I continued to smoke. I stubbed it out and walked through to the balcony, allowing my eyes to find their own level as I gazed into the far-off horizon. I breathed the fresh salt air deeply into my lungs to replace the cigarette smoke and felt better slowly exhaling it. Then I repeated the same exercise several times, stopping only when the phone politely told me some needed my attention who found it easier to call on the phone than to come in person. I walked back inside and lifted the receiver with a mental thanks, again wondering if I=d lost the plot in mentally talking to inanimate objects. I recognised the velvet quality of Tina=s voice instantly. My mind and senses swam in a sea of memories. Only her voice brought me back from being drowned in once again. APeter?@ she called softly. I sighed, wishing things had turned out differently. AYes?@ I answered, enjoying where my senses had been quickly heading. AIs everything okay?@ she asked quietly in a concerned tone. AYes. Everything=s just fine.@ was all I could manage to say, my senses still struggling to come back to the here and now. APeter, I ...@ she began and halted, her voice trailing away to nothing. Now it was my turn. AEverything okay with you?@ I asked her. AYes.@ she answered. AEverything=s wonderful. Well ... almost.@ she added quietly. I knew exactly what she meant. But it made no difference. AI=m sorry, Tina.@ I apologised for nothing that I could think of right there and then, other than it might make her feel better. Then she surprised me completely. AOh. Don=t worry about that. My stuff-up completely. I accept your decision.@ she said. Then; AThey=ll get over it.@ AReally?@ I said, unconvinced as yet. AYes. That wasn=t the reason I called. I ...er ...Was it ...@ was all she got out before her voice again trailed away to nothing. I knew what she was trying to say. ATina. It was truly wonderful. I have never experienced making love to any woman ever in my life so beautifully in all my forty seven years. And I mean that with all my heart. I only hope it was the same for you. It was an incredibly beautiful and moving experience. It=d be a shame if I was the only one enjoying it.@ AYou weren=t the only one, Peter. I wan ...@ and again she trailed off. Then; AI=m sorry about leaving unannounced. I had something to do. You looked so relaxed when I looked at you, I didn=t have the heart to wake you just to say good bye.@ AThanks.@ I answered. AI feel as if I=ve slept restfully for the first time in my life. I feel great!@ AMe too!@ she said excitedly. AIt was wonderful!@ I didn=t know what else to say. A thousand thoughts were racing around in my head, none of which I really wanted to entertain right at that moment. AIs it?@ Tina asked quietly, the excitement gone completely from her tone. AIs it what?@ I asked, a little surprised. AGood bye.@ she said quietly. AIn what respect?@ was all I could come up with at such short notice. AYou ... and me.@ she replied softly. AI don=t know if the two could be separated. Do you?@ I said, sighing softly myself. AI told you I accept your decision.@ she answered. AI=m only talking about ... us.@ It was the way she said, us, as if we had become an item in only one meeting. But as I thought about that very thought I knew we had, or I did anyway. And it seemed she thought the same way I guess, or she wouldn=t have been calling. APeter?@ She said my name so affectionately, as if she=d known me all her life. AMaking love with you. It was ... so ... different. It was as if ... as if we ... made love on another level. I still felt we were, even after it was over. And it ... it lasted so ... the feeling I mean. For so long afterward. I can still feel it.@ I closed my eyes. I knew exactly what she meant. I could too, and right at that moment my body did too. But that still didn=t change things. AI know Tine.@ I answered, not really knowing why I shortened her name to that. I just said it. Then; AI don=t why I said it.@ I added. AI hadn=t asked you that question ... yet.@ she said quickly. AI know.@ I said. ABut I thought about it myself the minute I said it. ANo. I did.@ she replied, seemingly with a little excitement in her voice. A In my head my mind, I mean ... I mean, I was about to.@ I didn=t really know what she was on about, my mind still wanted to go where my body had already been. AWhat can I tell you?@ I said, mater-of-factly. Then followed a lengthy silence on both ends of the phone where I had the unusual feeling of not wanting to go, yet not wanting to stay either. It was very unusual. I guess I wasn=t giving her much encouragement, and I didn=t really know why, apart from never being really sure whose thoughts would be whose. AI guess I=d better let you go then.@ she said finally, sounding a little sad, and making me feel a lot guilty. AOkay.@ was all I said. Then; AI do have some rearranging to do, I guess.@ Right then I really didn=t trust myself to say anything more than that. I didn=t know what was going on in my own mind, let alone my heart, and, in that area, I always took my time. It hurts when you make a mistake. It hurts a lot. AGood bye then, Peter.@ she said softly, wistfully, adding my name at the end as a sentence all of its own, as if she simply wanted to hear herself say it one last time. AGood bye, Tine.@ I said, realising instantly what I=d done again without thinking. I thought I heard a soft sob just as the phone went dead in my ear. But I wasn=t sure. What the hell, anyway, I thought. Probably for the best. But who for? I questioned, as I placed the phone back in its cradle and walked back to the balcony with the view of the distant horizon. It was good for man to be alone with his thoughts for a while, I knew, but not for too long. So I allowed my thoughts to find their own level in my subconscious mind, while my conscious mind focussed on the blue-green infinity and relaxed as I breathed deeply, deciding to allow whatever wanted to come ... come ... and the hell with it. * * * THE MULE Chapter IV * * * I awoke feeling better than I had the night before, still not fully understanding why, but not really caring either. I intended to hold on to the feeling for as long as possible. It didn=t come along in my life all that often. I didn=t dream of Tina or of our love-making as I thought I would, and was glad that I didn=t. The sooner I got back into the mind-set of my own practice and my own future without her the better off I=d be, I figured. But as I busied myself with the re-planning of my life throughout the morning I wondered if I really wanted her out of my life. Almost a month went by as I swung back into my practice with a renewed enthusiasm. I wondered where it had come from. The expected call from Tina never arrived, and, as the month slowly came to an end I began to think that it wouldn=t, and that both of us were probably better off. Trying to keep her out of my thoughts was another thing completely. Not her so much as our love-making. She=d been right on the phone. It had been different. Not different in the normal sense of the word, but ... different in a sense I couldn=t quite put my finger on for all the times I tried to do just that. And I did try. I must have re-lived our union every night, always ending up the same way-hot, sweating and hard, with no-one to share it with. I was tempted to call her several times, always ending up with the thought of why I should complicate either of our lives with something I wasn=t sure I was ready for, or, if I ever really would be: not that I wasn=t the marrying kind. I was ... once ... for twenty years. I took to walking the beach every afternoon after my last patient, as I had always done, but not on a daily basis, sometimes catching myself walking along with my head down, then looking up, hoping to see her standing in front of me with that cheeky grin on her face, and wearing those shorts. I wasn=t depressed. I just felt as if something was missing. But how can you miss someone you=ve only met once? I would rationalise to myself as I kicked the sand and watched the waves wash over my bare feet and ankles, leisurely strolling through the waves breaking on the shore as if I was simply walking through the park. But, for all my mind-games, she was never there whenever I looked up, half-expecting to see her. Always I=d see a beach full of strangers, or no-one at all, depending on the hour I finished with my last patient. I began to experiment with my patients without their knowledge: nothing sinister, just working more experimentally with their trance depth and the degree of control I actually had over it. It had always been an assumption on my part that I did, in fact, hold some degree of control over their thoughts and actions while in and out of trance, but I=d never actually tested each level of control. It was a learning curve which I began to document with each of them, looking more and more forward to their visits for my own reasons of experimentation, as well as solving their problems. Their problems were taken care of, of course, but that turned out not to be my priority with their comings, more and more with each passing day and individual visit. And with each passing day I began to slowly become more and more immersed in my experimentation, finding myself thinking less and less about Tina and our love-making to the point where I realised, only after returning to my apartment and changing after a shower that I had walked the beach up and back without thinking of her once. That realisation brought with it a little sadness, and then finally, after pondering over it for only a little while, acceptance of the inevitable. I figured if I could forget her, as it seemed I had, then my decision had been the right one after all, even though I still wasn=t sure it had been, somewhere in the dim, dark recesses of my mind, even at that point in time. I sat in my chair beside the middle aged woman whom I had just brought out of a deep trance. She blinked several times and then stretchedand smiled, as they all do. She looked younger than she did before I=d placed her into that trance. Her relaxation must have been very deep. She was smiling and seemed very happy within herself. ADoctor,@ she began, after taking a sip of the ice-cold water I=d given her. AHow do you know what to say? I mean ... where do you find the words?@ I wasn=t a medical doctor, of course, although I was a doctor of the mind, so I didn=t mind, and never said anything whenever they addressed me as such. Beside, it helped with the all-important rapport that always needed to be established for successful hypnosis. After a brief explanation of what I thought she rose and walked beside me to my desk, whereupon she paid for her session and left. I then typed the notes of that session into the computer. It had been going around in my mind since she had asked the question; AHow do you know what to say?@ and; AWhere do you find the words?@ They were questions I had asked myself many, many times over the years. The only conclusion I could come up with, that I now sincerely believed, was that, as well as my patient being deeply in trance state, whereupon their subconscious mind was fully open and revealing its secrets to me, my own subconscious was also open, in that my own conscious mind tranced down with theirs during the induction procedure. And, in the final analysis, the words and everything else I said or did came from the patient=s subconscious telling my subconscious what it needed to hear, based on the believed assumption that somewhere within each of us lay the power or the ability to heal ourselves, in whatever way we needed to be healed that would be just right for us at that point in time. For some reason I had always found it very easy to trance down with my patients: a technique or ability that few of my colleagues seem incapable of achieving, recognising, nor giving it any sort of reality basis, other than one man=s opinion. I knew different, of course, and merely believed it was their loss if they chose not to place any credibility on the concept. Nevertheless, it was the only way I could satisfactorily explain to myself how I came up with and out with most of the advice and words I did. I have surprised myself on a regular basis, but, given my belief about what part of my mind is actually doing the talking, I have never really consciously taken the credit, other than for being responsible for inducing the deep trance that allowed one subconscious mind to talk to another. Nevertheless, that was the interest and the key to my interest in the collective unconscious that I believe exists for all of us, and, can be utilised in one way or another if a suitable doorway to it can be established. I sighed. It was a real shame the thing with Tina=s organisation hadn=t worked out. That was the area I=d intended to explore fully. I was also just as sure that the results of my experiments would have more than justified their of hiring me. Tina. Once again I found her in my thoughts. I looked at the calendar on my desk. Nearly six weeks had passed. I noted that I rarely thought of her these days, and, if I did, it was always in association with, or because of a thought related to my own experimental hypnosis and work in my own practice. I lit a smoke, something I rarely did inside my office. What the hell. I had seen my last patient for the day and would soon be taking my afternoon constitutional along the beach. Since making it a daily habit I had been feeling very relaxed in general most of the time. The euphoria I had experienced after making love with Tina had lasted about a week. After that I had returned to normal, although I found, if I wanted to, I could trance down and recall that experience in vivid detail without any trouble at all. And, whenever I did, again the euphoria would stay with me in my conscious mind and physical body for a few days afterward. The wall clock told me it was time to take my walk as I glanced at it. I stubbed out the cigarette in response to its message, locked up my office and headed for my now- favourite place of relaxation and winding down. It was Friday, and, it had been a long week with patients and my own experiments and note-taking, as well as my on-going, continual study and research of an evening until sometimes quite late at night. I was walking back toward where I had started my walk along the beach, head down, as usual, kicking the sand occasionally, when I sensed the nearness of another walker. I changed direction to the left, intending to simply sidestep them, not bothering to look up. Then I sensed the person halt as I moved to go around them. I continued walking, but glanced up anyway. My eyes widened. It was Tina, dressed similarly, yet different somehow. I stopped dead in my tracks. AHi.@ she said quietly, with a smile. AHi.@ I answered, returning her half-smile. ALong time, no see.@ AI want to talk to you.@ she said, whatever smile that had been on her face now gone. ASure.@ I said. ALet=s walk.@ I began to walk slowly, in the same way I always did, while Tina walked beside me on my left. I didn=t bother to wonder what she wanted to talk about. I=d find that out soon enough. I was enjoying the company and the feeling of having her beside me once again, and sensed the slight increase in my pulse as I walked. AWe want you to come back to the projects.@ she stated flatly. Then; AI want you to come back too.@ I stopped walking and turned to look her square in the eyes, deliberately allowing my face to show absolutely nothing, in spite of what thoughts began to race through my mind, none the least of which was her. Tina=s face was deadly serious: no smile: eyes wide open and fixed on me. AWe=ve talked about it at length," she began. "And I=ve ... I=ve thought about it too ... I ...I can=t seem to stop thinking about it. What happened between us. It was special. So different, and significant. I don=t know how else to say I=m sorry, but I am. Nevertheless, that was then, and this is now, and here I am. There=s too much at stake: too much to learn to throw the chance away. Our projects need you, and you need them, if you stop to think about it. I=m sure you don=t want to spend your remaining days sorting out women=s anxieties and the likes. Haven=t you thought about what you might have accomplished?@ AOkay.@ I said quietly. I had decided before she=d finished her first sentence. AAll you have to do is to ... A It took a few seconds to sink in, and she wasn=t ready for such little resistance on my part. AWhat?@ she beamed, a hesitant smile slowly beginning to spread over her face as if she might not have heard me correctly. But her eyes had lit up. AYou mean ... you will?@ she confirmed. I grinned, accepting the sound of my own voice and words in my ears. AYes.@ I couldn=t believe I had said what I had, but I had, and now I couldn=t take it back. I didn=t want to. I wanted to be back on the project, and, I wanted to be near her. AOh, Peter! That=s ...that=s wonderful!@ I just continued to grin. Because, I guess, I was just plain happy. AI can=t wait to tell them!@ she said excitedly. I sighed loudly. AI guess I=ll have to rearrange my life for a third time.@ Then I grinned dismally, pulled a sour face, then smiled. She linked her arm through mine slowly, holding my gaze the entire time. AIt=ll be worth it.@ she grinned cheekily. AYou=ll see.@ We began to walk slowly back. I knew it would be worth it too, somehow. Just feeling her holding my arm and walking so close to me made it already worthwhile. I sighed deeply. What next? I wondered, feeling her thighs graze lightly against mine. What next? In a reasonably short time, somehow I managed to re-reverse everything I had previously done regarding my own practice. My landlord and the therapist who was taking over my practice thought I=d finally lost the plot, and, who knows? They might just be right, I thought, as I sat at the long board table with Derek Henderson across from me and Tina at my left. The long room seemed empty with only us there, but it had been a late scheduled meeting. The others were all still involved in their own individual projects already for the day, which was Monday morning. I had completely reversed everything over the weekend. Even I was amazed that I=d been able to manage it so quickly. As I listened to Derek Henderson talk about the aims and goals of the company my gaze roamed around the room, noticing there wasn=t one single thing adorning the long mahogany walls:not a picture, a print: nothing: just the room itself and the long board table with its multitude of chairs. Derek had been talking about and reinforcing the rights of the patients with whom I would be working, stating categorically that some ethics were involved, and that straying away from any of the patient rights as previously mentioned needed his specific approval, lest it bring unwanted publicity and a sudden stopping of the government funding for the project=s continuance, and nobody wanted that, given the lifestyle it afforded everybody involved, including yours truly, as of eight o=clock that morning. AHave you given any thought to any particular project Peter?@ Derek suddenly brought my attention fully back to what he had been saying. I glanced quickly at Tina who just smiled and lowered her gaze from mine for a second before looking up again, still smiling. I turned my gaze back to Derek, collecting my thoughts for the answer I knew I=d give him and see what happened. AWith respect to the work I=ve already seen going on contained in the dossier,@ I began. AI thought I=d continue something I=ve already begun in my own practice.@ He said nothing. Tina looked at me expectantly. I wonder if she was trying to read my thoughts. AIt involves the collective unconscious.@ I continued. AI=ve had several experiences, one quite recently of my own, in fact, where I believe a doorway can be opened, whereby both therapist and patient can communicate subconsciously, in language specifying exactly what the patient=s mind and body need to hear to bring about a cure or rectification of whatever problem they might be having.@ I took a deep breath to continue. Both Derek and Tina sat quite still, both sets of eyes on me alone, unwavering. AIn its most farthest projection to date,@ I recommenced. AI believe it=s possible, once the correct induction and deepening guidance procedure has been established, for surreal communication to take place between both on a subconscious level, for whatever reason, where both would experience the visual recognition of meeting the other in the subconscious plane of mental mind set.@ I watched both their faces and features for any sign of negativity regarding my ideas and concept. They both appeared to be studying me. It was unnerving for a few seconds. Then Derek spoke first, after quickly glancing at Tina and then back at me. ADo you mean meeting as if, like in virtual reality, only in the subconscious plane?@ he asked. AThat=s it exactly.@ I agreed. Derek then smiled and looked at Tina for more than a few seconds this time. Then she smiled too. I arched an eyebrow, not knowing what they were really smiling at. Then Derek turned his gaze back to me. ATina is already working on a similar concept, with undemonstrable results as yet, although hers is not as ambitious as you=ve just described. Do you really think it=s possible?@ AAnything=s possible.@ I said. ABut, yes. I do. My research and my own experiments have led me to that conclusion and absolute belief.@ Tina was smiling at me, giving me the impression I=d said and done the right things. AOkay.@ Derek said with a finality to his voice. ASo be it. That will be your project with my full authorisation. You will report to me, along with all the others daily, as you=ve been told. For now, Tina will show you fully around the rooms and the various experiments that are able to be viewed. And, oh, by the way. You can cancel the cheque you gave to Tina. We haven=t cashed it, hoping you might come back to us. And Peter, I=m very glad you did. There is much to discover, and a hell of a lot more to learn. If you need anything at all, see Tina. I=ve placed you temporarily under her protective guidance wing until you find your feet. Happy with that?@ I kept a serious face. Was I happy with that? You bet! AThat=s fine.@ I answered. ARemember, if you want to break away from any ethics or patient=s rights I must authorise it. Do you understand that quite clearly?@ Derek said. ALoud and clear.@ I replied. AGood! Now, I=ve got my own project to begin for the day and I=m late already. You can call your own time here, Peter. You=ll be given keys to the building and you can work twenty four hours a day if you wish. Up to you. See you at this evening=s meeting. I don=t expect you=ll have anything to report, but it=ll give me a chance to let everyone else know what you=re working on. You never know. Twenty seven minds are better than one when it comes to problem solving.@ And with that said he left he room, leaving me looking idly at Tina, not quite sure in my mind what was going to happen next. She solved the problem. AOkay.@ she said. ACome with me. I=ll show you around the place. Some of the rooms you can see into through the two-way viewing mirrors. We use them after we=re sure we can repeat a technique or procedure and get the same results: proof for final documentation you might call it, in front of Derek and several others for witnesses, or those who are interested. Once a project=s been certified as being repeatable with the same results, it=s then forwarded on to our parent body for practical application. Derek will tell you more about that once you find your feet here.@ AParent body?@ I asked, curious, as we stood up and headed for the door, Tina in front, as usual. ADerek will explain all that to you later.@ she said, not looking at me as she led the way to the door. I decided not to push and just allow everything to happen as it wanted to. So I followed her from the room and down the hallway to the left of the board room. We spent the remainder of the morning going from room to room, looking and listening to various therapists working with their patients on various projects. Then finally, Tina led me back to my office and sat down opposite me at my desk. AWhat do you think?@ she asked, settling back in the chair. AInteresting.@ I answered. AVery interesting indeed.@ AI think so too.@ she agreed. AOr I wouldn=t be here. I left a profitable practice, like you did, to follow the path of experimentation. There=s so much to know: so much to learn and discover.@ I could see the emotion in her voice surface just a little, and it was then that I took Tina for what she really was-a dedicated therapist, searching for the truth, just like as I was. APeter.@ she said, her face suddenly serious. AYour concept, as you explained it to Derek. The experience you were referring to was when we made love. Wasn=t it?@ I looked steadily at her, realising then that she had experienced a similar happening to me when we=d made love. AYes.@ I answered. AI think so. But, unless you engineered it, I believe it happened naturally.@ AI didn=t do anything. Honest! I was just fully into everything we were experiencing and doing-mentally as well as physically, without consciously thinking about anything in particular-just beautifully and naturally focussed, and completely and wonderfully relaxed. And ... I think it had a lot to do with our ... our chemistry ... or rapport, if you want to call it that.@ I thought about that one for a few minutes before answering her, knowing she was right, and, that she had experienced everything, almost as I did. AI agree.@ I told her, imaging strongly one particular aspect of our love-making that afternoon. AYes.@ she smiled, then said with a long sigh; AThat in particular was verrrry nice.@ I glanced quickly at her, knowing she=d read my thoughts. But I just grinned, still deep in the image. AI didn=t do it on purpose.@ she defended. AIt just happens. I seem to have opened, somewhere in my subconscious, an aspect of my mind that picks up images and thoughts concerning me. Images mainly. When you get a bit more settled I=ll show you how I did it. I was trying to chase down a telepathy experiment when it happened as a side effect: a weird experience at the time, I can tell you. I thought I was going crazy at first. You know, voices in my head and all that. But I=m used to it now. I can even switch off if I really want to, and not receive. And some things I=d rather not receive.@ I raised my eyebrows, but said nothing. AIt doesn=t matter. You get the good with the bad, I guess@ she shrugged. AHow do I go about arranging my first patient?@ I asked. AIt=s already arranged.@ she grinned. AIt was arranged as soon as I told Derek you were coming back to the project.@ AGreat!@ I said. AYou just have to let me know when you=ve got your agenda clear and formatted. I=ll have a look at it, only to see if your on the right track as far as your final report will turn out. You know, procedural steps and things like that. You just do your thing and I=ll show you how to format it for discussion at the meeting and for Derek=s final report. How=s that sound?@ ASounds good to me.@ I smiled. ABut what about your own project?@ AIt=s on-going.@ Tina told me. AI can enter or leave it whenever I like. I=ve gotten Derek=s approval because it doesn=t involve any patients at the moment-just research, and the odd experiment when the opportunity comes up.@ AOkay.@ I said. AI just didn=t want you to think you had to baby-sit me all the time.@ She grinned widely. AI don=t mind baby-sitting you ... anytime.@ she laughed from the belly. I did too then. It was Tuesday morning, and almost nine o=clock. My patient was due at nine-thirty. Tina had left me with her file overnight to study. I was reading it again, just in case I missed something. Miss Angela Simms-a twenty five year old secretary suffering from chronic insomnia. She had been told that she was being referred to a specialist-enter yours truly- to try and solve her problem once and for all. She had been to her normal therapist only three times, but that had been enough to discover she was a somnambulist. Her insomnia had already been mostly attended to, but she was asked to attend on the basis of having it ensured as never coming back into her life in the future. Her attending therapist apparently was on the project payroll, although not in a working capacity-only for referring-on any somnambulists as he came across them. It seemed there was a lot of recruiting done that way, the therapists being paid quite handsomely for their referrals. All of the patient=s trance keys had been removed, which left her subconscious mind free of any association with her former therapist. All that remained to be seen now was whether or not a suitable rapport could be established between Miss Angela Simms and myself. I=d never had any real problems in the rapport department to date with any of my patients and I didn't anticipate any with her. I had just finished my third coffee for the morning when my intercom buzzed. I flicked the switch. AYes?@ AMiss Angela Simms for her nine thirty appointment.@ said a bright young female voice. ASend her down.@ I said. Three minutes later Miss Angela Simms sat opposite me, looking a little nervous and in awe. AI have to be honest and tell you,@ she said, after the introductions were over and she seemed to gain a little confidence in her surroundings. AI only agreed to this with Doctor Harper because he said it would be no charge. I=m sleeping fairly well now. I didn=t think I=d have to come back.@ Then she looked around my office as if she was not quite finished what she wanted to say. AIs it still no charge?@ she asked. I was right. AThat=s right, Miss Simms-no charge.@ I agreed, assuming that was the arrangement in this particular case. She seemed to relax a little further down into the chair after I=d said that. AMy name is Peter Wallace.@ APlease call me Angela, Doctor Wallace.@ she told me with a half-smile, still a little nervous, it seemed. AThank you, Angela. Please tell me a little about yourself.@ I told her, hoping it would relax her talking about her favourite subject. Most good-looking women were their own favourite subject, I=d found in the past. Angela Simms was a normal twenty five year old woman hairdresser, with normal twenty five year old woman=s anxieties about being left on the shelf. She=d had several relationships, none of which had worked out: all of the problems with them of course being the fault of her partners. As a result she had been finding it more and more difficult to sleep at night-had being the operative word. Since seeing her therapist she had been sleeping better and better each night, due to him reinforcing through ego-strengthening techniques involving hypnosis that the problem with her relationships were indeed the fault of her ex-partners, and that she should spend more time getting to know who she really was and what she really wanted out of a relationship with the opposite sex. It was all typical basic psychology, except for a feeling I had that I couldn=t put my finger on ... yet. AOkay, Angela. I think I can understand now why you had your problem with insomnia, and, I believe you=re quite right, in-so-far as your sleeping habits becoming normal again.@ I told her in my best empathetic voice, catching her gaze and holding it in mine. ANow ... if you could just relax in your chair there, and ... don=t be nervous ...I=d like you to recall just how relaxed you are now ... when you become more comfortable ... allowing everything to just ... let everything go as it wants to .... when you get ready to sleep very deeply ... each time you relax very deeply now ... when your eyes get so heavy ... and ...your arms and legs feel so heavy .... as heavy as lead ... and ... each time you breathe .... deeper and deeper relax ... and calm ... and peaceful ... and safe ... very .. very .. safe and relax so deeply that ... you can=t stop your eyes from closing ... each time you breathe out ...heavier and heavier ... wanting to close ... and sleep so deeply ... just like you want to so much ...safe and asleep ... always what you want ... heavier and heavier ... more and more tired ... just the sound of my voice ... soothing you to sleep ... deeper and more peaceful ... just what you want ... heavier and heavier ... my soothing voice ... safe and secure .... listen to everything ... everything is good for you ... listen to my voice ... whatever I say to you ... deeper and deeper asleep ...down and down and down .... safe and warm and asleep ... only my voice ... whatever I say .... you will listen ... everything good for you .... whatever I say .... sound of my voice ... deeper and deeper asleep ... soothing and calm ....sound of my voice ... whatever I say ... everything so good for you ... just what you want ... the sound of my voice.@ Angela's eyes had closed about two-thirds the way through the induction, and now she breathed easily. Her face and features were relaxed and very calm. I finished the surprise, interspersal induction where sentences exist within sentences through emphasis on specific words which carry the hypnotic subliminal message. Angela was deeply in trance, or at least she appeared to be. If she was a somnambule, I would soon know. AAngela.@ I began the first test. ACan you hear the ... sound of my voice?@ AYes.@ she said quite clearly. No slurring. That was always a good sign. AIf you were to use a scale of one to ten ... and ten were the deepest level of trance, how deeply hypnotised do you feel you are right now?@ AAbout seven.@ Angela reported, again without thinking-just reporting what she felt in instant response to my question. Another good sign. AAngela. Do you believe you=d feel more relaxed and comfortable if you were to go down to a level ten state the deepest hypnotic trance state you could possible achieve ... all by yourself ... to enjoy more fully ... the relaxation you feel ... right now?@ AYes.@ she replied immediately. AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly. Take your trance now all the way down to level ten now ... with each easy relaxing breath you take ... and let me know ... when you=ve arrived ... in any way you feel like communicating ... do you understand.@ AYes.@ came her reply without delay. I had decided to continue with the interspersal technique and watched her facial muscles relax as she counted herself silently down through her breathing. This particular induction technique always worked very well because the patients always felt at all times that it was they who were controlling their trance, which, in fact, is what actually happens. AI=m...there.@ Angela reported, just a little hesitantly. AThank you for letting me know ... now ... of course you know that ... in this deepest possible trance you are in ... everything I tell you to feel ... you will feel ... and everything I tell you to experience ... you will experience ... and everything I tell you that is going to happen ... will happen ... exactly as I tell you ... it will happen ... Isn=t that what you=re expecting to happen in the ... deepest possible hypnotic trance for you?@ AYe..es.@ Angela stammered a bit. ABecause it ... feels so right to ... allow everything to happen ... exactly the way it ... wants to happen so easily ... so peacefully ...and so naturally by the ... sound of my voice ... everything you want ... for your own good ... just as I tell you ... isn=t that true?@ A nod of her head was her reply. AAnd of course you know ... as deeply tranced as you want to be right now ... your mind can answer everything ... always the truth ... nothing but the truth ... so help you god ... even if you don=t want to ... but always the truth ... even if you don=t want to ... because you can=t help but ... tell me the truth ... everything good for you ... just like you want ... Isn=t that true?@ Another nod of Angela=s head, a little more slowly this time. ANow listen very carefully ... always the truth ... isn=t that true?@ A slower nod. Time to play out my hunch. AHow old were you ... when you first realised you were .. sexually attracted to girls .. more so than boys?@ I asked her. It didn=t take an Einstein to figure it out, which didn=t say a lot for her previous therapist. AThirteen.@ she answered without delay. And there you go-a closet lesbian, either known or unknown by her. Time to find out. AIs that part of your mind that ... knows you=re a lesbian ... ready to allow your ... conscious mind to know that ... at this time and ... be able to cope with it ... adjust it into your life ... in a manner you can cope with?@ Don=t sugar-coat it. That=s what I always say. Shame, guilt, hatred. The three usual problems with mankind. Makes it too easy sometimes. I expected a little wait while her conscious mind reassociated her internal memories with her subconscious mind. She=d talk or signal when she was ready to, and I was always patient. This was most probably the first time in her life she had consciously come to grips with her real inner sexuality, I figured, as I watched her frown crease a few times while her minds tried to agree on everything-if it was possible at this time. This was pure clinical hypnotherapy. There had been no need to trance myself down there with her at this point in time. I figured out her sexuality the night before while going over her file, or, I believed I had anyway. It seemed like I had been right so far. Then I saw Angela=s head shake a little, indicating her conscious mind was not ready to incorporate her newly-discovered sexual preference for girls into her life and times just yet. AThat=s fine, Angela. You=re doing perfectly.@ I reassured her. AIs your subconscious mind willing to ... allow your conscious mind to know when ... you want to know that ... it=s okay to like girls ... if that=s ... what makes you happy ... deeply within yourself ... when you=re ready to know that?@ Her head nodded immediately. AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly.@ I again reassured her. AAnd you can now notice ... not to remember ... what you don=t need to notice to remember ... because your subconscious mind will ... allow you to know everything ... when the time is right for you ... and until that time comes ... you will be happier within yourself ... and sleep like a baby ... knowing everything that can be done ... is being done ... by your subconscious mind ... to solve your problem ... in the manner you desire most ... and be very happy with the outcome ... and benefit in every way ... and be very happy .. while you wait to discover ... who you really are ... isn=t that true?@ Time heals all wounds, they say. And time would heal Angela Simms= wounds as well. A slight nod of her head. AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly. Now ... in the future ... when you come back to me ... to discover more of ... who you really are ... I will give you a trance key ... a special signal for your subconscious mind so you can trance quickly ... to this deepest state possible for you ... so you can discover ... who you really are ... and always be happy ... which is what you want ... isn=t that true?@ Another slow nod. AThat=s fine, Angela. You=re doing perfectly, and ... you will come back ... when I telephone you ... the sound of my voice ... and forget I phoned ... only that you have to come ... for reasons you can=t explain ... that your subconscious mind will in time ... when you are ready ... and forget everything that happened in this trance ... and you now feel so happy ... a big load has been lifted off your shoulders ... you feel so light and wonderful ... now that you know that you'll soon learn ...who you really are ... and will come when I call you ... discover who you are ... the sound of my voice ... now to forget to remember ... and remember to forget ... everything I=ve told you ... except to remember ... how happy and light you now feel ... isn=t that very true for you?@ A slow nod. I always used the same trance key. That way I didn=t have to try to remember. AYour special trance key is the number seven ... only my voice ... your special key is seven ... only my voice ... your special number is seven ... only my voice ... you=re special number seven ... only my voice ... as deeply tranced as is possible for you to be ... only my voice ... you=re special number seven ... do you understand clearly?@ A slow nod again. AYou can speak clearly now, Angela. What will happen to you when you hear me say your special number seven?@ I tested her. AI will .. go deeply .. into a trance .. as possible .. only your voice say .. I=m special .. number seven.@ she interpreted. Close enough, I thought. And that was enough for today. Next time I would take her down with me. Then we=d see just how deep she could go, as well as what we could accomplish along the lines of my project. AThat=s fine, Angela. You=re doing perfectly. In a moment I=m going to snap my fingers. Whenever you hear that sound in the future of your life, you will find yourself becoming very alert, relaxed and happy, and, very, very refreshed, as you open your eyes and smile the biggest smile because you are so happy.@ I snapped my fingers and waited. Angela opened her eyes, blinked a few times, then stretched and smiled broadly. ADo you feel as good on the inside as you look on the outside?@ I asked, knowing that she was still very highly suggestible in the sixty seconds after deep trance state, and that what I had just said would only serve to reinforce the post hypnotic suggestion I had given her under trance. AMmmmm. Yes.@ came her lazy reply as she stretched. AThat=s fine, Angela. You=re doing perfectly, and today, you=ve done very well. It was as you said. Your therapist has done most of the work, and good work too. I think you=ll be very pleased with the way you feel, and, the way you sleep from now on. Thank you very much for coming in.@ AThank you Doctor.@ she said as she rose from the chair. AI feel really wonderful. Better than last time. I feel light somehow.@ I watched her as she rose to her full height and stood looking down at me as she spoke. Then it was my turn, for the last time that day, in that way. ASeven.@ was all I said, needing to know the strength of my post hypnotic suggestion for the next time she came. AWhat?@ came her surprised reply. Then her eyes blinked twice as her gaze focussed on mine. Then slowly, with a slightly puzzled look on her face, they slowly closed. It was beautiful to watch. Angela stood perfectly still and relaxed, and deeply hypnotised. AHow deep is your hypnotic trance right now, Angela?@ I asked, testing. It was always about testing for proof. AAs deep as possible.@ she said clearly. I snapped my fingers. Her eyes sprang open with a quick two blinks as she focussed on my face. AWhat ..er..what did .. you say?@ she asked, looking puzzled. AI said, it was very nice to meet you.@ I lied. AOh...Yes. Well ..ah .. thank you. It was nice to meet you too.@ I rose from behind my desk. AI=ll show you out.@ I said, working right to the very last word, as I led her to the door, satisfied with the results of my patient=s first project conditioning. * * * THE MULE Chapter V * * * My intercom buzzed. AYes.@ I answered, closing the file on Angela Simms after having documented everything and printed it out for my evening report to Derek and the others. AI=m taking my lunch break. Care to join me if you=re free.@ AThat sounds fine.@ I replied, smiling. A I could use a bite.@ AMeet me in main reception. I know a nice quiet cafe not far from her, within walking distance.@ Tina said. We sat opposite one another in the open-air cafe not far from the office. Tina looked beautiful. The way the rays of sunshine seemed to make her red hair even more flaming in appearance was amazing. I couldn=t stop looking at it: the way it curled around her neck and shoulders, long and soft and lush in its full-bodied thickness. I=d told her about Angela Simms and her session, including the techniques I had used, just in case she was interested. She was, smiling a smile that seemed to me to contain just a hint of awe for my expertise as I described it in detail. We both munched on our sandwiches as we talked. I felt very comfortable in her company, as she seemed to be in mine. AHow often can I call my patients back in?@ I asked with a mouth half-full of bread and meat. Then I apologised for my lack of table manners. She laughed. ADepends on their own schedule.@ she answered. :@The project would like us to work as often as we can, of course, but it all depends on their own personal situation.@ She paused, seeming not quite finished with what she was saying. AI don=t know if I would have picked up that Angela liked girls. I mean, as being her problem about sleeping.@ I grinned. AYou would have picked it up eventually.@ I told her. AEven her own therapist would have cottoned on to it after a few more sessions. Something she would have said would have made him twig to what the true nature of her sleeping problem was.@ AI=m impressed.@ she grinned back at me as she bit into her sandwich. ADon=t be.@ I told her genuinely. AIt=s all about experience: always a learning curve, and, I always seem to be learning.@ AAren=t we all.@ she stated before taking a sip of her coffee. We ate in silence then for a while. I wondered about how Tina felt as she sat there opposite me in the little cafe. Then I remembered. I needn=t have bothered thinking it. I should have just asked her. I had anyway-mentally. She grinned at me. ANice.@ was all she said to my unasked question, giving me a soft smile. I shook my head slowly, grinning, and wondering if I really wanted to learn how to read minds. AYou will.@ she said. AIt has too many benefits and advantages.@ I decided then to keep my thoughts on business. That way she couldn=t read them. AHah!@ she said suddenly. AJesus!@ I breathed through clenched teeth in mock anger. ACan=t I keep any secrets?@ Her belly laugh rang throughout the small cafe. I laughed with her. AYou can, actually.@ she said, after she=d quietened down. AIt=s easy when you know how.@ AGood!@ I said, finishing my coffee. AWhen can you teach me? This has got to stop.@ AHow about Wednesday night?@ she answered smiling. AI=m free then.@ I wondered what she was doing on Monday and Tuesday night that she wouldn=t be free. Or any other night for the matter. AThat will be fine.@ I said, noticing her smile turn soft as she finished her coffee. AWhere?@ AYour place.@ she grinned. ABut it will take most of the night so we=d better get an early start-around six would be good.@ AOkay. Six it is. Then I can put a stop to your little mind games.@ I noticed her features suddenly take on a slightly serious nature. AI don=t play games, Peter, when it comes to matters of the mind.@ she said quietly. I wondered about matters of the heart, then instantly saw her soft smile return as she reached for her purse, signalling our little luncheon talk had been concluded. ABy the way,@ she said as we stood up together. ADuring Derek=s demonstration this afternoon, watch the way his patient responds to the direct approach, compared to the permissive.@ We walked from the cafe and back toward the office. We were told at the morning meeting that Derek had documented a direct method technique of control that had repeatable and demonstrable results. The demonstration was for the benefit and experience of everyone. I had to admit I liked the idea of sharing discoveries. It was good for everyone. About a dozen of us sat in the chairs provided in the viewing room. When I mentioned that I thought more would attend the demonstration Tina told me that most of them had seen it before, including her. She told me she was only there for my benefit, to point things out to me as Derek went through the various phases and levels of trance and observable results. She went on to tell me I=d be surprised, most probably. I was glad I was sitting in the front row, although each row of chairs were about a foot up in height from the row in front, so everybody had a good view. I turned my gaze back to Derek in the room on the other side of the looking glass. His patient was a man in his late thirties, casually dressed, sitting slightly reclined in a large therapy chair. His eyes were open, but he seemed very relaxed. Derek sat by his side, about three feet away from him. I had no idea of the nature of the demonstration, apart from that which Tina had already told me. AHere we go.@ Tina said quietly. AJohn! ... Sleep!@ Derek commanded, and commanded he did, like an officer giving an order. I looked sideways at Tina for her reaction, and saw her just smiling at me, signalling me to watch the front. I returned my astonished gaze to Derek and his patient. The man now sat limp and loose, with his eyes closed, and his head slightly forward toward his chest. We could hear Derek=s voice as if he were in the room with us, rather than the other way round. There were speakers on both corners of the viewing room through which Derek=s voice came through loud and clear. Derek sat on his chair facing the viewing room. His patient also faced us so we could see everything. I glanced down at the copy of the man=s file Tina had given me as we had walked into the viewing room. Then I noticed something. The man=s name was Richard-not John. I read on quickly. Derek had used the other name the man had responded to so easily and quickly, as a trance key. I looked back to Derek and his relaxed patient, wondering why I=d never thought of that. I=d always used numbers-specifically, the number seven, to keep things simple and always be able to remember it. Sometimes my memory had an off-day. AName! Rank! And serial number!@ Derek=s booming commanded. ASloan! John! Private! 123372!@ came his patient=s snappy reply, just like they did in the armed forces. AWhat is your duty, Private!@ Derek asked, although it sounded more like a statement than a question. ATo protect and serve, Sir! In any way my orders tell me! Sir!@ the man snapped militarily back to him. AAt what cost do you protect and serve, Private!@ Derek stated as another facsimile of a question. ATo give my life in the protection of others in my duty! Sir!@ the man barked, eyes still closed, body still looking very relaxed and calm, in spite of the tense way he answered Derek=s questions. AWho is the enemy, Private!@ Derek snapped at him. AAnybody is the enemy! Sir! Whoever my orders tell me is the enemy! Sir!@ Then Derek glanced up at the viewing mirror, and, for a few seconds I could have sworn he was staring directly into my eyes. Then his gaze lowered. AWhat if the enemy is your own family. Private!@ Derek=s voice boomed. AThen they are the enemy! Sir! The man answered. AIf they were they enemy, Private! What final solution for everyone's benefit might need to be done!@ AComplete elimination! Sir!@ came the reply. AWho denotes an enemy, Private!@ Derek stated. AAnybody who interferes with the rights of others! Sir! As decreed by my standing orders! Sir!@ the man answered. Derek looked up into the viewing mirror again, and again I believed he seemed to be looking right into my eyes. AJohn! Sleep!@ Derek said next. ASleep! Sir!@ was the instant reply. As I watched him closely, the man then seemed to visibly relax a little more, although I couldn=t remember him not looking relaxed throughout the entire demonstration so far, even though it had sounded like a drill parade exercise. Then Derek stood up and stretched, winked at us through the viewing mirror, then turned toward his desk and walked over to it. AThat=s it.@ Tina said, drawing my attention away from Derek and back to the viewing room. Actually, I hadn=t been in that room for the past several minutes. I had been contemplating the nature and the results of Derek=s experiment. I didn=t really know whether I was shocked at such a demonstration of mind control, or simply impressed. Like most therapists I had always been taught that a person could not fully be controlled, if it meant asking them to do something which would clash with their own known ethics, morals, or personal values. It seemed I was wrong. My own ethics of the past twenty odd years had always prevented me from experimenting fully in that area. But to say I had never been intrigued by the concept would be to lie to myself, and, I had always had a problem in doing that. AWhat did you think@A Tina asked from across my desk, after we had walked back from the viewing room. I shrugged. AWhat=s to think?@ I answered her. AIt definitely seems to work, in spite of my own former beliefs regarding total control, and direct control techniques.@ AYes, it does.@ Tina said simply. I glanced at my watch. It was ten past four. AGot a date?@ Tina asked smiling. I grinned. ADon=t I wish.@ She grinned too. AWhy don=t you?@ AWhat?@ I asked, my mind still on Derek and his amazing demonstration. AWish.@ she said, as if talking to a slow, backward child. I twigged. Shaking my head slowly I grinned too. AI wonder about the practical application and its connotations.@ I said, half to myself and half to her. Tina=s face and features suddenly took more a serious demeanor as her eyes focussed on mine. AYou don=t honestly think it has its uses?@ she asked quietly, then added; AIf it were deemed necessary?@ I held her gaze in mine. AWho would do the deeming?@ I said flatly. She lowered her gaze and stared at the desk for a few seconds before looking up again. APeople in authority, I suppose.@ she replied. AWho consider that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.@ There was something in the way she said that as she held my eyes steadily in hers that caused me to feel a little uneasy. Maybe it was the way she hadn't blinked when she'd said it. Maybe it was the way her eyes deepened as she was saying it. I don=t know. But I did know I felt uneasy all of a sudden. And, I didn=t like feeling uneasy. AOh, Peter! Come on!@ Tina suddenly laughed, her face lighting up beautifully. Don=t go all paranoid on me. It was only a demonstration! That=s what we=re here for, isn=t it? To go where no man, or woman, has ever gone before? Just like Star Trek?@ I laughed. Maybe she was right. Jesus! This was nineteen ninety seven: almost the twenty first century: not the dark ages of the cold war paranoia. ASorry.@ I apologised, then glanced at my watch. ATime I was going anyway. I=ve got a few notes to make on the days work and observations. I like to finish up my day at home, out of the office surroundings. I can think more clearly.@ Tina=s smile faded. AOkay.@ she said as she stood to leave. ASure. Well, if you want to talk about anything, I=ll be home. Just give me a ring.@ AOkay. Thanks.@ I replied, wondering why she made our date for my learning the mind thing on Wednesday night, if she wasn=t doing anything that evening. I heard the door closed, then began making my notes on the day=s events-my own, as well as Derek=s demonstration. My summaries of the day=s events took me a little longer than I thought. When I=d finished I opened Angela=s file and punched her number into the telephone, my pulse rising a little as I waited for her to answer, wondering if I=d left it too late to call. AHello? Angela speaking?@ she said into my ear. ASeven!@ I said emphatically. AWhat?@ she asked. My pulse raced. ASeven!@ I said in a more quieter tone of voice. AWha ... ooh.@ her voice trailed off. AAngela. This is Doctor Wallace. You will ... sleep like a baby tonight ... and you will awaken refreshed in the morning ... and you will want to see me ... to thank me ... and call and make an appointment for nine thirty. Do you understand?@ AYees.@ she answered dreamily. AAngela. You will forget this call ... when I snap my fingers ... you hang up ... it was only a wrong number ... do you understand?@ AYes.@ she answered softly. I snapped my fingers as loudly as I could into the mouthpiece of the telephone and waited for her to wake up, and then hang up. AHello?@ she asked, sounding normal in tone. AHello? Shit! Wrong fucking numbers!@ Then she hung up. I grinned. Everything I had done seemed to be working fine. I couldn=t wait for her to arrive the next day. Then I glanced at my watch. Time to go. Lots to do yet. The meeting with all of the therapists, of which I was now a team member: to listen to their days work and results and to tell them of mine. The meeting went rather quickly, each therapist talking quite quickly in summary fashion. I was scheduled to talk last, and, when I did, I sounded like they did. I noticed I had their full attention as I spoke, especially Derek=s. Tina had not talked, but had just sat and listened, taking notes occasionally, as they all seemed to do. Then it was over. Exactly one hour had passed since I had entered the long board room. Tina had caught my eye occasionally and smiled. Apart from that we didn=t speak. I did notice she sat on Derek=s left. After I had answered a few questions from two of the other therapists Derek called the meeting closed and we all got up and left the room. I returned to my office and grabbed my briefcase, then made my way down to the elevator with some of the others who were also leaving. As I stood with them waiting for the elevator to arrive, one of them, a therapist who had asked me some of the questions in the meeting came over to me smiling. AHow serious are you about your work in the area you=ve chosen?@ he asked politely. He was a man in his early forties. I liked the look of him: the cut of his jib and all that. His name was Andrew Sawyer. I remembered, which was strange for me. I had a shocking memory for names in the short-term, but his name reminded me of Tom sawyer and Uncle Tom=s cabin-an old boyhood story I always liked to read about whenever I had the chance. AI=ve always had a very strong interest in that area.@ I replied. AInteresting.@ was all he said as he held my gaze in his own. Then the elevator arrived and we stepped inside. There was no sign of Derek or Tina. I wondered why I expected there to be. Tina had told me we could all work as late as we liked-all night long if we wanted to, although Tina had told me she wasn=t all that committed to her present project. I shook my head slowly as the elevator silently agreed with gravity and deposited us all on the ground floor of the building I now called home during the day. ASee you tomorrow, Pete.@ Andrew sawyer said as he stepped through the doors with the others and walked off toward the main door. None of the others had said anything-just smiled as I passed them going the same way. I smiled at the man and his farewell. I=d always had a funny thing about having my name shortened. Out of the mouth of most people it sounded all wrong, and unnatural, also too familiar. But, like some others in my life, Andrew Sawyer=s way of saying it sounded right. I smiled, amazed by such a little thing that had always puzzled me. Why did my shortened name sound so wrong with most people, yet so right with only a few others? One of life=s minor mysteries, I decided, as I walked out into the afternoon breeze. If I wanted mysteries to solve there were plenty more about that were much more interesting than my own shortened name. I drove straight to my apartment building, went up and changed into shorts and a light cotton shirt that had a button missing I=d always been intending to sew back on when I got around to it. But that never seemed to happen. Then I walked along the beach as I had become accustomed to doing each day. My thoughts kept returning to Derek=s demonstration, my conversation with Tina in the cafe, and, for some strange reason, Andrew Sawyer=s face and expression as he had asked me if I was serious about my chosen project. Tina=s phrase she used at the end of our conversation also kept going around in my mind. AThe needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.@ It was the way she=d said it, or, more correctly, the way she had looked as she=d said it, as well as the phrase itself. I knew where I=d heard it before. It was a phrase used by Doctor Spock from Star Trek, the famous television show. But why had she used it? I sighed and kicked the sand beneath the water=s surface as I walked slowly along. Another of life=s little mysteries for me to ponder over. Every time I looked up from the swirling, white frothy waters around my feet and ankles I expected to see Tina=s smiling face, but, I didn=t see her. Then my thoughts turned to her and Derek. I wondered if he and Tina had a thing going, or had, had a thing going in the past, before I came along. I looked up and was back at the beginning of my walk. I turned and looked back the way I had come, shaking my head in amazement as I often did. I must have tranced down with my thoughts as I=d walked. Time distortion! It only seemed like I had been walking for a few minutes, but I knew it took me at least forty five to cover the distance, at the slow pace I dawdled along at, anyway. I smiled and headed up to my apartment and a nice, hot shower to wash away the salt from the ocean=s spray, as well as the few unsettling thoughts that were still going around in my mind, unanswered as yet. After dinner that evening I prepared the format induction to take Angela and myself down through the first stage of Cerebral Trance. It took me just over an hour to think it through, but I was happy with the result. It would happen as I inducted each of us down, with one part of my own mind keeping watch on the proceedings, up to a point, while Angela just kept listening and going deeper all the time. The concept was to get myself just as deep as she was when that part of my subconscious mind took over the session. After that, if my belief was correct I would be able to control the session on a subconscious level with Angela while my conscious mind was tranced out somewhere else and just observing. That was the plan, anyway. And it was a good one. The script I had written and just finished should do the job on both of us. Angela would have no problem. It was me who would have to be very relaxed in my focussed concentration in order for me to be able to join and meet with her on a subconscious level, if it could be done. I had to admit, as I ran slowly through the script for the third time. I was fairly excited about the idea. I put the script in my briefcase and locked it-an old habit I couldn=t seem to break. Then I relaxed on the deck for a half an hour or so, watching the prawning boats far out to sea, visible and identifiable by their arrangement of lights on their trawling net booms. So peaceful, I thought, as my eyes relaxed, focussing on the far distant lights of the boats. I rolled into bed just before eleven o=clock, dead tired, but relaxed and peaceful. The only thoughts on my mind before the sandman took me away was the phrase Tina had spoken at the cafe. For some reason I had a not-too-good, uneasy feeling whenever I thought about it in relation to hypnosis and what I had witnessed during Derek=s demonstration. What the hell, was the last thing I consciously remember thinking before fading away for the last time that night. As the Japanese would say: AShigata ga nai.@ - AWhat shall be-will be.@ I was at the office at eight o=clock. The receptionist, Karen, stopped me as I walked past with a cheery morning greeting and a message that Miss Angela Simms had called two minutes prior to my arrival requesting a nine thirty appointment. I told Karen to call her back and confirm it. Then I walked down to my office, took the script out of my briefcase and began reading it one more time, looking for any word that wasn=t weighty enough with value in relation to the desired effect, on both Angela and myself. When I=d finished I had to admit that I=d done a very good job. I smiled. I should write more scripts when I=m tired. I do a better job than when I=m fresh. A few cups of coffee and two more times of rehearsing the script for maximum effect and there remained fifteen minutes before Angela would arrive. I=d half-expected Tina to drop in or buzz me to say good morning, but she hadn=t as yet. Probably slept in, I figured, working late at the office or some such thing. Then I walked through to the therapy room in which I=d decided to hold this morning=s session. Tina had told me how to work the video and sound equipment using two foot-pedals just beside the main therapy chair. It was within easy reach of the smaller chair on which I would be sitting. I adjusted the lighting by turning off the main overhead light and turning on the tall, free-standing lamp behind the therapy chair. It threw a soft light all over the bigger chair, and obviously, anybody sitting in it would be bathed in the soft light as well. Tina had assured me that there would be enough light for the video recorder to get everything on tape clearly. The tape deck and sound equipment stood about six feet away from the end of the large chair, the video being fitted with a zoom lens which I could operate at will by pressing one of the two foot-pedals on the floor beside the big chair. I glanced at my watch. Almost nine thirty, and still no word from Tina. Then the buzzer took thoughts of her from my mind. It was Karen, telling me that Angela had arrived. I asked her to bring Miss Simms down to my office and sat down and waited. AGood morning Doctor Wallace!@ Angela said cheerfully after Karen had turned on her heels with a wave and walked from my office. AGood morning Angela.@ I replied just as cheerfully, watching her sit down and make herself comfortable. She looked better than she had the day before. AYou look very relaxed. Sleep well?@ Angela beamed a beautiful smile at me. Shame she didn=t like guys, I thought as I smiled back at her. ADoctor, you wouldn=t believe it!@ she exclaimed excitedly. AI=ve had the best night=s sleep since I can remember! I slept like a baby! No dreams. No anything! Must=ve been something you did yesterday! But it worked!@ AThat=s wonderful, Angela.@ I smiled. AYou can=t beat a good night=s sleep, I always say.@ AThat=s for sure!@ she answered. AWhat can I do for you, Angela?@ I asked, testing. AThat=s the funny thing.@ she began. AI woke up, and as soon as I realised how well I=d slept, I just had to come and tell you. I can=t really explain it. I just wanted to I guess. So I phoned and made an appointment. Hope you don=t mind. It=s my day off anyway.@ ANot at all.@ I replied. AIt=s not often my patients take the time or trouble to let us know how effective their therapy has been.@ AIt=s working great!@ she said enthusiastically. AIt really is!@ AThat=s fine, Angela. I=m very happy for you.@ I said. Then; AAngela, since you=re here, and you don=t have to go to work, is there anything of any nature you=d like to talk about? No charge of course.@ Her features steadied as she thought deeply about something. Then she smiled a half- smile, sort of shy look at me. I wondered if her subconscious had began to let her know consciously of her sexual preferences yet. AWell ... there is one thing.@ she began slowly, not looking at me, instead staring at the top of my desk. AWhy don=t we go through to the therapy room, Angela. I=m sure you=ll be much more comfortable. Besides. It=s a lot more private in there. We won=t be disturbed. You can be assured of that.@ AOkay.@ she said and stood up with me, taking the privacy suggestion to heart immediately. That convinced me that her subconscious had told her something. I led the way into the therapy room and closed the door. Thankfully the air- conditioning had powered up. The room was nice and cool. I settled her into the large chair and adjusted it to the fully reclining level. AOhhhh. This is really comfortable.@ she exclaimed. AI could go to sleep right here, right now.@ ADon=t do that, Angela.@ I chuckled. You=ll miss everything.@ AOh. I won=t.@ she said. AI slept well enough last night. Believe me!@ AOkay.@ I began. AWhy don=t you just start to relax and tell me what=s bothering you. Just relax and breathe deeply, and just let everything happens as it wants to. Don=t try to make anything happen, and don=t try to stop anything from happening. Whatever you wanted to talk to me about, just allow it to come out of your mouth naturally, easily, and calmly. Okay?@ AOkay.@ she answered, and began to take a few deep breaths, relaxing more deeply into the comfortable, large chair. AOohh. This is sooo comfy.@ I smiled, stretching my leg toward the side of her chair, pressing the video recorder on with the ball of my foot. AWhenever you=re ready, Angela. Just take your time. No rush-no fuss.@ I encouraged her gently. She could rest on her own time. Now there was work to be done, and I hated wasting time. AI think my problems with my relationships are ... my fault.@ she said quietly. AWhy do you think that?@ I asked gently. AWell, I think it=s because I ... I ...@ AJust allow it to come out ... any way it wants to, if you ... feel it wants to come out ... naturally and easily ... while ... you just relax ... even more deeply.@ I told her. I didn=t want her trancing just yet. AYees.@ she said with a long sigh. ADoctor, I I Oh. I like other girls.@ she said quietly, almost a whisper. AIs that such a problem?@ I asked her. AI have plenty of male friends.@ AI mean,@ she said, AI like other girls. In a ... a ...sexual way.@ She said it so softly, the last two words, that I hardly heard her. AHow long have you liked other girls?@ I probed. ASince I was very young-in my teens.@ she replied. ABut I=ve never ... I=ve never ... errr ... been with a girl. I just like them. I ... umm ... think about them a lot-more than boys, I mean.@ AHow often do you think about boys in a sexual way?@ I probed deeply. AHardly ever these days.@ she said. ADon=t you like boys at all?@ AI do, but ... but ... they=re so ... rough, and ... they=re not gentle and tender like they should be ... like I want.@ AAnd you think because you think of girls in a sexual way, that the reason for your relationships failing in the past is because of that?@ I phrased for her. AYes. I think it might be.@ she answered. AI think it is, now that I think about it more deeply.@ AWhat would you like to do about solving that problem?@ I said. AAs you see it affecting your future relationships?@ She was silent for a minute, breathing deeply, looking calm and relaxed. No sign of stress. AI think I=d like to try ... to maybe ... be .. with one. A girl, I mean. I know some places my friends have told me about, but I=m ... I=m not game to ... to approach anybody.@ ADo you want me to tell you it=s alright for you to try being with a girl and see if it=s really what you want?@ I put it to her. AI guess.@ she said. AYes. I guess I want someone to tell me it=s not ... you know ... dirty or ... bad. You know?@ AYes Angela. I know. And it=s not dirty or bad. It just something you have to find out about yourself, and, if you don=t experiment and see if it=s really what you want, you=ll never know. Will you?@ I posed. AI guess not, when you put it that way.@ she replied. AThen I think you should do whatever feels right for you. That way, you=re in control of your feelings and your life, and they don=t control you, which is what you want. Isn=t that true? To keep the control over your life you=ve maybe never had before?@ AYes .@ she said positively. AThat=s what I really want. Control over my life. I don=t think I=ve ever really had it.@ AGood.@ I said. Would you like to talk about anything else now?@ Angela sighed deeply. ANo. I feel so much better now that I=ve told someone. I never have before. I think you=re great. I really do. So understanding.@ I smiled. AIf what you=re going to do doesn=t work out, Angela. Don=t forget there are plenty of us boys still around. We train up and domesticate pretty well, once we have a good woman to tell us what to do.@ I said with a chuckle. Angela laughed, then took a deep breath, letting it out with a long sigh. AI feel so much better now that I=ve told someone.@ she repeated. AI suppose I=d better go now and let you get on with your day. You must have other patients who need your services.@ AAngela?@ I said positively. "Does the number seven mean anything to you?@ AWhat? Sev ... ooh,@ she started, then breathed deeply and sighed. Her head shifted a little as she relaxed deeply and began to trance down. ARelax and go deeper down in your peaceful trance.@ I told her gently, but positively. She sighed again, a half-smile forming at the corners of her mouth as she exhaled and shifted once more in the chair. I reached over and picked up my script from the top of the sound system, then breathed deeply myself, sinking quickly into a light trance as I squared my shoulders, then relaxed them completely, allowing my eyes to gently close to half-mast only, so I could still read the script, although I knew it fairly well already. I had to concentrate on steadying my excitement at finally getting the opportunity to conduct this experiment. After two minutes of concentrated, relaxed, shallow breathing I became aware of myself beginning to trance down more deeply as I sat there focussing on the top of the script page. I knew I=d reach a point in reading the script where I would leave it completely and close my eyes right down, talking from memory, which was why I had spent so much time familiarising myself with its flow and rehearsing it with all its inflections. Now, we would see what we would see, I decided vaguely, as I relaxed my breathing even more, imaging every organ in my body gradually slowly down to a quiet halt, just above unconsciousness. * * * THE MULE Chapter VI * * * AAngela?@ I began slowly, and as smoothly as I could, given my own situation. AYes.@ she answered slowly, indicating to me she was already in a deep trance. Her face and features looked relaxed and very calm. AYou ... already know you ... feel very ... deeply relaxed ... and calm. Isn=t that ...true?@ AYes.@ she sighed. AAnd you ... know you can, and ... always will be able to ... hear the sound of ... my voice ... very clearly. Isn=t that also ... true?@ AYes.@ she answered dreamily. AAnd ... isn=t it ... also true ... that when a deeply tranced and hypnotised person is instructed to experience something, anything, they find it ... impossible to resist ... experiencing it?@ AYes. ADo ... you ... like being hypnotised ... and being put into such a ... deep, relaxing, ... and peaceful ... trance?@ AYes.@ AWould ... you ... like to experience ... the ... relaxation ... and incredibly ... wonderful experience ... of a ... special ... and very ... deep trance?@ AYes.@ AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly.@ I said, after having established the >yes= set. ANow, ... this special trance is >special because ... I will be joining you ... in that deep and relaxing state. Is it alright with you if we ... share ... that wonderful experience ... together?@ AYes.@ she sighed as she breathed out. AThank you, Angela.@ I said. AWhat trance level depth do you think you are in right now?@ ATen.@ Angela said without thinking, which was a good sign to me. AWould you ... believe me ... if I told you that there are many deeper levels of relaxing trance state depths than just a ten?@ I asked her, posing the possibility of even greater relaxation to her mind. AYes.@ she answered. AThat=s right. Because ... you know ... already that ... everything ... I tell you to feel, ... you will feel, ... with every fibre of your being. And ... everything ... I tell you to experience, ... you will experience ... as real and alive and ... actually occurring ... And ... everything ... I tell you that is going to happen, ... will happen, ... exactly as I tell you ... it will happen ... Isn=t that ... true?@ AYes.@ AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly ... Now ... Together, ... you ... and I are going to ... get on an elevator ... to take us ... down to ... the trance level of ... one hundred ... Can you ... imagine ... now how much ... deeper ... and ... more relaxed ... you=ll be on that amazingly deep level of trance?@ AYees. Ooohh so deeeeep.@ she answered with wonderment in her voice. AOf course ... you can ... because you can ... imagine ... how much more ... relaxed ... and ... calm you=ll be ... at that very deep level but not alseep like you are at night. Isn=t that ... true?@ AYees.@ she sighed slowly, still with awe in her tone of voice. AAnd ... you ... know that you ... will never go to sleep ... at that deep level of trance, because ... I will be there ... with you ... Talking to you ... and sharing experiences ... with you ... Isn=t that ... true?@ AYes.@ AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly ... Now ... We will ... stand in the elevator ... together. I will be by your side, although you won=t be able to see me at first ... Then, ... as we both ... watch the different numbers ... of each deeper level ... light up ... on the elevator board ... in front ... of us, just ... above the door, ... displayed ... in a horizontal line, ... all the way ... down to one hundred ... And we will both ... feel ... twice as ... deeply relaxed ... with ... each number ... we slowly see moving ... more deeply ... downward toward one hundred. Can you ... imagine that happening?@ AYes.@ AAnd along the way ... you ... may find that ... you are so relaxed ... you just don=t have the ... effort to talk, ... because ... you ... will be so ... deeply in trance, ... and getting so much ... deeper ... with ... each ... passing ... number ... that you=ll find you ... just can=t talk, ... even though ... you want to, ... so ... you can tell me ... and think to me how wonderful you feel as we both ... go deeper ... and ... deeper down ... toward that ... last level, ... all the way down to one hundred. Can ... you imagine that? AYeees. She sighed. I could feel my own mind and body becoming more deeply tranced as that part of my conscious mind that was controlling the session continued to talk, while my subconscious mind began to open more fully as I attuned to the scenario I was asking Angela to imagine. AIn fact, ... as we reach the deep level of fifty you=ll find that ... you can=t talk ... at all, no matter how hard ... you try ... to, because ... you want ... so much to ... tell me ... how wonderfully relaxed and calm ... you feel ... You will find it frustrating, but you will ... always ... remain ... relaxed and calm, ... becoming ... more so ... with each number ... you see ... on the elevator panel as we travel slowly ... deeper and deeper down ... toward the ... deepest trance ... level of one hundred. Isn=t that ... true?@ AYeees.@ she answered, a little hint of frustration sounding in her tone already. AThat=s right, and because ... you want ... so much, with every fibre of your heart and soul ... to talk to me ... and ... share ... your wonderful experience ... with me ... you=ll realise that you ... don=t need to talk ... at all. Because ... you are ... so deeply ... relaxed, ... much ... deeper than ever ... before ... in your life, ... you=ll realise that ... you ... can ... talk to me ... with your mind with the incredible relaxed power of ... your own mind, as you think so strongly, ... and see me so clearly .. in a ... very relaxed ... and wonderfully ... focussed ... manner as you just ... think your thoughts and images ... into my mind as we ... go deeper and deeper ... toward the trance level of one hundred. Can you ... believe ... that in ... your imagination?@ AYeees.@ AAnd ... you will ... be so surprised to ... discover ... to your amazement that the more you ... concentrate ... in such a ... relaxed focussed ... manner when you=re ... talking to me ... and seeing me clearly .. that you will begin to ... imagine you can ... actually ... see me, ... right there ... in ... the elevator of ... your mind, ... standing right ... beside you ... and smiling ... You will be ... able to see how ... relaxed and calm ... I look and know that it=s exactly how ... you feel ... as we share that ... wonderful ... experience together as we ... watch the elevator numbers ... taking us more ... deeply down ... to the level of one hundred. Can ... you believe ... that in ... your imagination ?@ AYeees.@ AAnd ... you ... can ... believe ... that the closer we both travel even more deeply downward in both ... our minds ... toward the deepest level of one hundred that you=ll find to your amazement that ... what=s really happening ... is that you are ... allowing me ... to actually come ... into your own mind ... to ... share ... everything ... with you ... first hand, together, just as ... you wanted ... to tell me about, and now ... you can ... Because we=ll be together in your own mind. And you=ll ... look at my face ... and ... imagine ... me coming into ... your own mind ... so ... clearly ... that ... you=ll feel me ... feel my thoughts ... as I ask you to ... open your subconscious mind ... and ... allow me to enter ... and share with you. Isn=t that ... what you ... really ... want? To ... share ... this wonderful experience in person with... me inside your own mind?@ AOoooh yeeees!@ she answered with feeling in her tone. AThat=s fine, Angela. You=re doing perfectly.@ I told her, my own voice becoming slower and slower in speech because of my own trance depth. AAnd when ... you feel ... and ... see me ... trying to ... come ... into ... your mind ... because ... you want me there ... with you so very ... strongly ... and ... you can see ... on ... my face ... as I ... look through ... the glass door of ... your mind ... that I want to ... come into your mind ... so strongly that ... you ... will open ... the glass door of ... your mind ... and ... let me inside ... your mind, so we can ... share ... that wonderful experience ... together ... That will be ... so wonderful ... Isn=t that ... true?@ AOooohyeees. Sowonderful!@ she said with the emotion rising in her tone of voice. AAnd ... you ... want to ... let me in ... Isn=t that ... your strongest wish ... and desire?@ AO00hyeees. I wanyou to comeinside mymind!@ she answered. AHow strongly do ... you want me ... to come ... inside your mind ... Angela?@ AOooh, verystrongly!@ she said AAnd how strongly ... with all your heart ... and soul do ... you want to imagine ... yourself, with all your heart and soul, seeing yourself ... opening ... the glass door of ... your mind ... with all your heart and soul as we ... approach the level ... of one hundred and ... allowing me ... with all your heart and soul to come ... inside your mind ... with your ... full permission ... and all your heart and soul to ... share ... the incredible feeling of having ... me inside your mind ... with you to ... share ... that wonderful moment in ... your heart ... with you with all your heart and soul?@ AWith all my heart and soul!@ Angela replied with an emotion-filled voice, and, beginning to sound clear once again. AThat=s fine, Angela. You=re doing perfectly. And can ... you believe and imagine ... the emotion that will swell in your heart as you realise that ... you have allowed ... another human being ... me, inside your ... subconscious ... mind ... for the very first time in your life, to ... share ... everything with you?@ AYe..s.@ she answered, her voice breaking a little from the emotion in her imaginings. AAnd can you see us both in your mind now standing in ... the elevator ... waiting for you to ... press the button ... that will take us both ... down ... to the level of one hundred, where ... everything ... I told you to feel ... you will feel? ... And ... everything ... I told you to experience ... you will experience? ... And ... everything ... I told you that will happen ... will happen ... exactly as I told you ... it will happen?@ AYes.@ came the slow reply. AThat=s fine, Angela. You=re doing perfectly. And if that is ... your strongest wish ... to share everything ... with me ... as we travel ... deeper and deeper ... when I tell you, you may press the number one hundred on the panel to your left, just above your waist and start our incredible journey together, remembering everything that I told you to ... feel ... and ... that will happen ... and that ... you will experience, you will feel ... and will happen, and ... you will experience ... exactly as I told you ... you will feel ... and ... you will experience ... and ... it will happen ...exactly as you=ve so strongly imagined ... it will happen ... all the way down to level one hundred. Is that still ... your strongest wish ... with all your heart and soul?@ AOh yes! It is!@ Angela sighed with emotion. AThank you, Angela. You=re doing perfectly. And for as long as you can you ... will want ... to talk to me and share every detail of ... your experience ... as we ... travel downward ... together, not leaving out a single detail, until ... you can=t talk ... any more, and it will be time to ... let me inside ... your mind by opening the glass door of your subconscious mind where ... you will see me ... clearly wanting to ... be with you ... you still want ... inside your ... subconscious ... mind ... with all my heart and soul ... Is that true?@ AOh yes!@ she replied. I sensed in my own awareness now it was time to leave the script and go with it, just as she was already doing fully. I let the script fall from my hands and breathed deeply, allowing my eyes to close fully. The last vision I had of Angela before losing conscious awareness of my own immediate surroundings was one of deep relaxation as she lay on the chair, totally relaxed and calm. And the last conscious thought I had was that everything was so far going well. Now it was time to hand to and trust completely my own subconscious mind. AAngela, you may ... press the button now ... and begin to ... talk to me ... about what you feel as we both ... travel ... all the way ... down ... to the level of ... one hundred ... Do you understand? All the ... way down ... to level one hundred, becoming ... more relaxed ... and ... calm ... with each passing level as we ... travel deeper ... and ... deeper ... into the depths of our subconscious minds?@ AYes.@ she answered. I breathed deeply, imaging everything I had just told her, waiting to flow with her images as she reported them to me in her own journey downward. I could feel myself becoming distant as I focussed on the imagery I had put to her. AI feel ... sinking feeling ... oooh ...relaxed ...@ she said dreamily. APlease ... call out ... the numbers, Angela, that ... you can see ... as we travel ... all the way down ... to level one hundred, and ... everything you sense ... or feel.@ AYes.@she answered, sounding far away, instead of only a few feet from where I sat. ATen.@ A long silence. I started to speak, then decided to allow everything to happen exactly as it wanted to. AFloating down. Ohh. Light....as a feather...but getting darker.@ ASoon ... you will see ... a warm light ... everywhere ... Tell me when ... you can.@ AMmmm...yees...softllight....warm....loving.....fifteen..ooohh...floating.......faster... ooh!@ AEverything is fine. You=re doing perfectly. I=m here ... Look for me ... soon....keep going down ... talk to me ... Angela.@ AMmm. Thirty ......mmmm...nice light......hard to talk....scared....@ ANothing to be frightened of ... Go deeper ... I am here with you ... you=re safe ... look for me ... see me wanting to come in ... think ... of me ... strongest thoughts.@ AOoohhh..can=t talk...so hard....uughh...forty..@ AThink of me! ... Think of me! ... See me! ... Look for me!@ AYee..ss...ooh....can=t talk....hard.....fifty..oohh!@ ANo talk ... think and see ... Think and see ... In your mind ... you can talk ... you can see ... you can feel.@ I relaxed and focussed inward on the image of Angela trying to talk to me with such emotion that I could see it very clearly through the haze of my own dim awareness. I imagined myself standing at the glass door of her mind, wanting to come in so strongly, with her on the other side wanting to let me in so strongly. I could feel her anguish. She felt alone. So incredibly alone. And she didn=t want to be. Angela was scared and frightened. I felt my skin prickle and tingle all over. I sank deeper and deeper into the imagery of her and everything I=d told her to do. The feeling of her anguish grew stronger with each passing second. It was over-powering. I wanted to help her. To tell her not to be frightened- that I was there. That she could talk to me with her thoughts. ASafe and warm.@ I thought so strongly. AYou can ... talk to me ... I=m here ... Safe and warm ... Talk to me ... Angela ... Angela ... Angela ... Talk to me ... Talk to me ... Think to me ... Think to me ... Think to me ... See me ... See me.@ And I continued to image myself looking in through the glass door of her mind, with her on the other side crying and wanting to let me in. God! I could feel her fear, her emotions, her aloneness. ADoctor!@ came the sound of Angela=s voice suddenly, as loud in my head as if a loudspeaker had been placed inside my mind. I relaxed and imaged, letting myself go deeper and deeper into it. AAngela! ... Angela! ... Relax completely .. Let me in! ... Relax and let go and .. Let me in! ... Relax and see me .. See me! ... let go and talk to me! ... See me! ... Let me in!@ I mentally thought to her as I watched her fully on the other side of the glass door. I could see her so clearly. ACan=t you see me? ... Look for me! ... Can=t you see me?... Look for me! ... See me! ... Talk to me! ... Safe and warm! ... Safe and warm! ... Safe and warm!@ ADoctor! Please!@ came the booming sound of her frightened voice. I could see her looking at me through the glass door. Her face was frightened and she was crying. She kept looking around for something and running her hands through her hair in a frenzied fashion. Her hands beat quickly on the glass just in front of my face. Then she began to drive her little fists against the glass. ACome in!@ came her voice of anguish inside my mind like a bass drum. ACome in! Please! I=m scared!@ ALet me in! ... Angela! ... Let me in! ... Let me in! .... I=m here! ... Safe and warm! ... You=re safe and warm!@ ANoooo!@ her frightened face screamed at me. APlease come in! I don=t know how! Can=t open it! Please! Please!@ As I watched Angela=s frightened, tear-stained face from the other side of the glass, a part of my mind in a very small voice told me I=d made a stupid mistake. I had not told her how to open the glass door. I pressed myself up against the glass door and stared hard into her swollen, red-rimmed eyes. AImagine it open! ... Angela! ... Imagine it open! ... It=s easy! ... Imagine it open! ... No door! ... No door! ... Imagine it open! ... No door! ... I=m ... already inside! ... I=m Inside! ... Now I=m inside! ... See me there! ... See me there! ... With you now! ... With you now! ... With you now! ... With you now!@ I thought and imaged so very strongly to her as I did exactly the same thing in the very depths of my strongest imaginings. Then suddenly, it happened. I was there. Through the glass door which no longer appeared in my image at all. I was beside her. With her. Inside her mind. She threw her arms around me and hugged me like a lost father. I held her and squeezed her tightly. AI was .. so .. scared.@ she said as she looked up at me with her face all stained from crying, her eyes red and swollen. AI=m sorry.@ I said. AI forgot to tell you how to open the door.@ I continued to hold her, and, she continued to cling to me as if she=d never let go. I just held her. I could feel her heart pounding against my chest. So real! And I=m sure she could feel mine. AEverything=s okay now.@ I told her as I stroked her hair. AEverything=s fine and you=re safe. You=re safe now. You=re safe now.@ She just kept staring at me as she clung to me with a grip I could feel as her fingernails dug into my sides. Then, slowly, she began to relax. I could feel the grip of her hands and fingers begin to relax. Not totally, but slowly and steadily, as did my own arms around her loosen their protective hold on her trembling shoulders. I looked down again at her face and knew it was time to go. She=d had enough. There was a strong feeling of wrong inside me if I were to keep her there any longer on this occasion, the first time. AAngela.@ I said down to her very worried face. AIt=s time to go now. This was just the first time. You can see ... you feel safe now ... And there=s nothing to be frightened of. Is there? Is there?@ Her gaze penetrated my soul as she stared at me and tightened her grip. Again I felt the blades of her fingernails digging into my sides. I smiled down at her and she relaxed her grip immediately. ASmile for me and see there is nothing to be afraid of. This is your own mind. You=re perfectly safe inside your own mind. You=ve allowed me to come and visit you inside your own mind. And I=m very grateful. I hope you invite me back again. This is your own mind and nothing can hurt you here. Nothing can hurt you here. This is your own mind and you can come back here anytime you want to. It=s perfectly safe here as you can see. Warm and safe. Inside your own mind. Warm and safe. Inside your own mind.@ I had heavily used the interspersal emphatic technique of speaking messages within messages. It never failed and I was very comfortable with the method, being my favourite for several years. But now I began to ease of and become a little more natural. I felt the tension go from her body as I continued to speak reassuringly to her. Then I again had the feeling it was time to go-to take her back-and myself as well. AIt=s time to go now, Angela.@ I smiled comfortingly down at her, pleased to see her half smile as she gazed up at me. ALet=s go back to the elevator. It=s easy. Just imagine we=re in the elevator together and going up through all the levels from one hundred back up to level one, still in trance, but only a light one, at level one. Okay?@ AYes.@ she answered like a frightened child. She looked around to either side of her. I imagined the walls of the elevator. ASee the walls of the elevator.@ I told her. See the lights of the numbers as we travel back up to level one. Feel the lifting of the elevator. I=m still here with you till level one. Then I=ll go, but not far. And you=ll be able to talk to me. See and feel the elevator taking us back up to level one. Back up to level one.@ Her grip around my sides tightened a little as I imagined us riding up in the elevator together. I could feel the heat from her body as I held her still. And I could feel the sweat on my own body beneath my shirt. The red numbers I imagined flashed by us as we travelled back up to level one. When we reached level one I imagined the elevator stooping gently. AThe elevator=s stopped now at level one, Angela. It=s stopped at level one. This is where I get out. I=ll meet you at the top. There=s a little thing I have to do. You=ll be safe and warm now. I=ll see you at the top. Okay?@ She looked up at me sadly, releasing her grip on me as she did so. AReally?@ she asked in a frightened voice. I smiled at her. AYes. Everything is fine now. You=re almost home, but I have to bring you home from your own mind properly, so you can come back again and never be frightened of your own mind, ever again. I will control the elevator from the outside and bring you up to the top floor. While you=re waiting you can relax and compose yourself. Feeling safe and warm, without a worry in the world. Okay?@ AO..kay.@ she answered slowly. I imaged myself getting out of the elevator and watching the doors close. Then I imaged myself sitting back in my chair beside her. And then I felt it beneath my butt and my back. I opened my eyes slowly and was instantly shocked at what I saw. Angela lay on the chair, which was in the fully reclined position. She lay on her side in the foetal position, her arms clasped loosely around her knees which were drawn up into her chest. Her short, loose skirt had hitched itself high on her waist, revealing brief red underwear. Her hair was a mess, in complete disarray and her face was streaked with tear stains. Her eyes were swollen and puffy underneath. Angela in total looked a mess. I shook my head slowly from side to side as I breathed deeply and slowly, allowing it to flow gently outward between closed teeth while I collected my thoughts about bringing her back to full awareness again. And I knew that would take some thought. AAngela?@ I said quietly. AYes.@ she answered immediately, as if she had been waiting for the sound of my voice. AYou can see now that visiting your own mind is not a frightening experience, and that you will always be warm and safe there when you visit in the future. Isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ she answered softly. Her hair almost covered her face as she remained in the foetal position clasping her knees with both arms. AAnd you can see now how easy it is to image anything you want to get there. Isn=t that also true?@ AYes.@ she said. AThis first time was a little frightening for you and you became a little upset. Now, I want you to image very strongly what you=d really like to do next. I think you=d like me to take you to a bathroom where you could freshen up and straighten your clothes, so you feel as fresh and wonderful on the outside as you are beginning to feel on the inside after your wonderful visit to your own subconscious mind. Isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly. When I count to three you will be able to open your eyes and stand up and walk and talk and allow me to lead you to a bathroom where you can freshen up and make yourself all beautiful again. But you will remain in this deeply relaxed state of trance and will not wake up or be aware of where you are, other than allowing me to lead you to a bathroom where you can make yourself beautiful again. Is that what you want?@ AYes.@ she answered with a deep sigh. AOne ... two ... three.@ I counted slowly. Angela opened her red-rimmed eyes and blinked several times, but her gaze still remained a little glazed. ACan you hear me, Angela?@ I asked quietly. Her eyes travelled to mine without moving her head. AYes.@ she answered thickly, licking her lips. AGive yourself a few minutes to orient yourself. Then you can stand up and I=ll take you to a bathroom where you can freshen up, even though you are still deeply tranced. Isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ she said absent-mindedly as she took a deep breath. After a few minutes she straightened her legs and rolled over on to her back, still unaware, apparently, that her dress had hitched itself high up on her waist. Then she leaned forward, causing the chair to move into the forward position, and then further forward into the sitting up position. She looked a mess. I stood up and held out my right hand to her. She reached out and took it, allowing me to help her to her feet. She had a dazed look on her face. Her eyes were glazed and glassy, with an almost vacant stare. She didn=t look at me-just continued to look at eye level where her head faced. Her dress remained hitched high on her waist. She made no attempt to pull it down. Slowly, I led her from the therapy room and into the en-suite. She walked slowly, hesitantly, as if not sure where her next step would lead her to. APlease freshen yourself up now, Angela. Straighten your dress and your clothes and return to me and sit in the chair when you are ready. Okay?@ I suggested. I closed the door and walked back to the therapy room, and, it was on that short walk that I realised my own shirt felt hot and sticky against my skin. I felt like a hot shower myself. I sat down heavily, feeling exhausted and began to collect my thoughts while they were all still fresh in my mind. I was looking forward to seeing the video of the session after Angela had left. Fifteen minutes had passed and Angela had still not returned. I got up and walked through to the en-suite, knocking softly on the door when I came up to it. No answer. Becoming a little concerned I opened the door and saw Angela standing at the wall mirror, just staring at herself and dabbing the soft, swollen skin beneath eye with a wet towel. AIs everything alright, Angela?@ I asked softly. She continued to do what she was doing, dabbing first beneath her left eye, then beneath her right eye. Her eyes were fixed on her reflection looking back at her from the mirror. AI can=t.@ she said softly, a little consternation sounding in her vocal tone. AYou can=t what?@ I asked, surprised. AI can=t make myself as good on the outside as I feel on the inside.@ she said sadly, like a little girl. AI=ve tried, but I just can=t.@ I smiled, relieved. AYou look beautiful, Angela.@ I told her sincerely, because she did. You=re eyes look particularly gorgeous right now. Okay.@ I said, taking her gently by the shoulders and turning her to face me. APut the towel down and come back with me now to the therapy room.@ Her eyes smiled, but her mouth didn=t. Her eyes remained glazed and fixated level ahead of her. I led her back to the therapy room and seated her back down in the chair. She looked almost as she had when she had walked in, except for a slight puffiness beneath each of her eyes. Her make-up had been re-done and her clothes had all be straightened nicely. AClose your eyes now, Angela.@ I told her softly. Her eyelids closed and she visibly relaxed and sank back into the big chair. ANow, Angela.@ I began the closing phase of the session. AToday you have discovered something truly wonderful about yourself that not very many people can lay claim to. You have achieved something special in not only being able to visit your subconscious mind, but you have also allow me to visit there with you. And that makes you a very special person. You are a very special person. And you will become more and more special to yourself as you continue over the coming weeks and months of your life and you discover more and more about who you really are. Do you understand just how special you are?@ AYes.@ she said quietly, but with the hint of a smile in her voice. AAnd it=s a wonderful feeling to feel that way, I know. And you will remember that wonderful feeling of being special and different to all other women as you discover more and more of who you really are in the coming days and weeks. And that is all you will remember of this session this morning-how wonderful and special you are, because your subconscious mind will remember everything and when you visit your subconscious mind again with me you will remember everything you need to remember and when you are awake you will remember only how special and different you are-remember only how special and different you are, now that you are beginning to discover just who you really are. You now find it so easy to understand that you simply need not remember anything to do with your visit to your subconscious-only how special and different you feel compared to the way you feel normally. You will be excited and enthusiastic about your life in every way, exploring every new thought that comes to your mind, feeling new and alive and reborn as who you really are, and forget everything else unless I tell you otherwise. Do you understand clearly what you have to remember and what you can so very easily forget?@ AYes.@ she answered softly. AThat=s fine, Angela. You=re doing perfectly. Please repeat to me now the only thing you can remember about your session with me this morning.@ I asked her. AI feel so wonderful and alive.@ she said quietly. ASo special and different. I am reborn different to what I used to be. I=m special now. I=m different now that I know who I really am.@ AThat=s fine, Angela. You=re doing perfectly. In a moment, when I snap my fingers you will find yourself becoming fully awake and alert in every way-feeling fresh and alive, and feeling very good about making an appointment with me for a half an hour ago to come in and thank me personally because you feel so good about yourself now. All morning you=ve just been walking around and feeling so wonderful that you just had to make an appointment to come and thank me. Do you see that clearly, and feel that clearly within your mind and heart?@ AYes.@ Angela said slowly. AThat=s fine, Angela. You=ve done very well, because you are so special.@ I finished in saying. I snapped my fingers and watched as her eyes slowly opened. She blinked a few times and then rubbed gently beneath each of her eyes. Then she looked at me and slowly, very slowly Angela Simms smiled. I swear it was the most beautiful smile I had ever seen on a woman=s face in my entire life. There was something unreal about it, as if it came from the depths of her soul. It almost brought a tear to my eyes. It certainly brought a lump to my throat. I coughed slightly, clearing it of absolutely nothing. Then I smiled back at her in her absolute radiance. AHow do you feel?@ I asked. AOh, Doctor.@ she began as she stretched like a lazy cat after a long hibernation sleep. AI feel so .... so wonderful! I can=t explain it! I don=t know what you do to me, but keep on doing it. I feel great! I feel alive!@ I grinned at her beautiful smile and even more beautiful face. AThat=s fine, Angela.@ I replied. AThank you for taking the time out of your life to come and thank me personally, although I have to tell you that you=ve done most of the work yourself. I=ve just been guiding you. That=s all.@ AYou=re welcome, Doctor.@ she said as she stood up with me. I walked her to the door and down to reception, then said good bye and returned to my office and the therapy room. I pressed re-wind on the video and returned to my desk, collecting my notes mentally for the report I intended to do after watching the video and then having some lunch. Then I remembered how sticky and uncomfortable I felt as I relaxed at my desk and quickly rose and went to the shower, knowing I had a fresh shirt on a hanger behind the door. As I stood under the shower I just allowed the various thoughts to come and go from my mind at their leisure, knowing my own subconscious mind had experienced something new and wonderful along with Angela=s that morning. In fact, I felt pretty good myself. As I rubbed the soap around my sides. I noticed a twinge of pain. Looking down and around myself on both sides of my body I could clearly make out several red and angry small indents and scratches in my skin. I froze suddenly, right on the spot. Angela=s fingernails! I remembered feeling them dig so deeply into me! Jesus! Was it proof of my getting inside her mind? Or had I just imagined it so strongly my own subconscious came up with the necessary proof? Twenty minutes later I sat behind my desk once again, feeling fresh and alive and very happy with my first session with Angela in the pursuit of virtual subconscious communication. I was also a little perturbed about the marks on and around my waist, but was convinced I could only go from strength to strength with the project from that point onward. I=d done it! Somehow though, I=d have to come up with a way of obtaining definite proof that I had been actually inside her mind-irrefutable proof-demonstrable proof! * * * THE MULE Chapter VII * * * AYour mastery of trancing yourself down with your patient, as well as your use of the interspersal technique of hypnotic suggestion is admirable, Peter.@ Derek said as the entire group finished watching the video of Angela=s session. I had copied samples of the entire session and had typed them up for everyone to follow as they watched the video at the evening meeting. AIt seems now, after all of these years to come naturally to me.@ I replied. AIt always has, in fact, right from the beginning.@ The video showed Angela gradually drawing herself up into the foetal position as she went deeper and deeper into trance. I had also transcribed for their copies my recollection of what was said once I had entered Angela=s mind. The video also showed me, tensing and relaxing several times, then finally relaxing completely on a physical level at the point where I ceased speaking verbally altogether. I tool that as the point where I entered through Angela=s door. AIt=s very encouraging.@ Derek said. AHave you given any thought to repeat demonstrations, and some kind of demonstrable proof of what transpires when you enter her mind?@ ANot in any great detail, as yet.@ I answered. ABut I=m working on it. I=ll think of something.@ I noticed Derek look for several long seconds at Tina who sat once again beside him. Then he looked at me once again. AWell done, Peter. Keep it up.@ he said as he stood up. Mine was the last report for the day. The other reports that had gone before me, including Derek=s had been interesting, but with nothing startling. Tina did not give a report at all. We all packed up then while I retrieved the video and placed it in my brief case. Then everybody began to file out of the room on their way home. It was six forty five, and had been for me a long day indeed. I wanted to go home and think over a cold drink: to just let my mind go back over the days events, recovering parts of it I was sure I hadn=t placed enough importance on that I=d see clearly the next time round. Tina had given me the thumbs up in a subtle way as I had been talking to the group, but now she was nowhere to be seen, and, neither was Derek. They must have left with the first lot to leave the room, I figured, joining the line leading out through the door. I expected to see her waiting for me on the other side, but she wasn=t. I was too tired to even wonder about it any further than that. I headed for my office, phoned Angela and used her trance key, making an appointment for nine-thirty the following morning. Then I walked through the door, locked it, and then walked to the elevator. There were only two people waiting. One of them was Andrew Sawyer. AGood day=s work.@ He smiled at me as I came up to stand beside him while we waited for the elevator to arrive. AIt=s only the beginning,: I answered. AOne small step for Peter-one giant step for the project.@ he grinned, his eyes taking on a strange look for a few seconds. Then the elevator arrived. We rode to the ground floor in silence. Stepping out into the foyer Andrew said a quick good bye and walked off toward the door while I walked to the water fountain and swallowed the freezing water gratefully. I had developed a very dry mouth during and since giving my report to the group. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand I then picked up my brief case and headed toward the front door and home for the day. That night I went over the video several times, trying to match the script I had written with the various levels of trance depth as I believed they had occurred in Angela=s face and in her body. At the same time I discovered several areas in which I could improve my own trancing when working with a patient in that way. By the time I went to bed I had a good idea about how to approach the session with Angela the following day. Sleep came quickly without focussing on any single thought through to its conclusion. One of those thoughts were about Tina, and what she had been doing at the office with Derek after everyone else had left for the evening. AHi!@ Angela beamed as she walked into my office at nine-twenty five in the morning. She wore a red top with an open neck and short sleeves, and a loose, white cotton, seer-sucker skirt. Between the two was an attractive black belt that didn=t look like it was holding up anything at all in particular. Her face bore little make-up, except for a light shade of lipstick adorning her full lips. How are you?@ I smiled back at her. APlease have a seat.@ She sat comfortably down in the chair opposite me and placed her purse lightly down beside it. AYou must be getting really sick of me.@ she began, still smiling. ABut, as I told your receptionist this morning when I rang I=ve been having some strange feelings that I=d like to talk to you about.@ AI=m not getting sick of you Angela. I ...@ she cut me off. AI don=t mind paying since it was my idea. Really!@ she interjected. I smiled at her. AThat won=t be necessary, Angela.@ I reassured her. ANow. How can I help you today?@ She took a deep breath and let it out very slowly, allowing her gaze to wander around the room, bringing it back to focus on me at the completion of another breath, although this one was not as deep. Angela seemed a little apprehensive, or nervous. AWell.@ she began quietly, her face taking on a serious look. AYou remember we talked about my ... my ... sexuality?@ AYes.@ I answered, smiling politely. AWell. I think maybe I=m ... err ... coming out ... as they call it.@ she said hesitantly, with a schoolgirl smile of shyness and personal embarrassment. AWhy=s that, Angela?@ I asked quietly. AWell. I had a dream last night and it involved another wom ... another girl.@ she confessed. AWas it anyone you know in life?@ AAs a matter of fact, it was.@ she replied. AOne of the other hair-dressers at the place I work.@ AAnd has this girl ever shown any type of sexual interest in you that you can remember?@ I asked politely. ANot that I can think of. We=re good friends, of course. And we=ve been to the movies a few times when neither of us had dates and were bored, I guess. I know she hasn=t got a regular boyfriend. And she=s always complaining to me about how insensitive they are at times.@ I thought about what she=d said for a few long seconds before I answered her. This was an important time for her, I knew. AWhat would you like me to tell you, Angela?@ I asked her quietly. She dropped her gaze quickly from mine, staring at the desk, her blushing starting slowly from the base of her neck, slowly working its way upward toward her throat. AI ... I ... err ...I guess ... well, to be honest, I don=t really know for sure.@ she replied hesitantly. I smiled compassionately at her. She relaxed a little at that. AWhy don=t you invite her over to your place for a sleep-over-come-girl-s night?@ I suggested. AGet yourselves a nice bottle of wine, and relax and see what happens?@ Angela=s face lit up like a Christmas tree. AWhat a great idea!@ she exclaimed excitedly. AI=ll do it. And, I know just the night. It=s her birthday on Friday and I don=t think she=s made any definite plans as yet.@ Then she relaxed back smiling into the chair as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. AHow can I ever thank you for being so understanding?@ I smiled. AIt=s not necessary.@ I told her. ALife doesn=t always give us an answer book for the different problems it throws at us from time to time.@ AWell. Thank you anyway.@ she said. She reached down for her purse. Show time! ASeven.@ I said quietly, but firmly. She had been leaning forward slightly when I=d said her trance key. Her head came up slowly, her face a question. APardon? Oooh.@ she responded. I never cease to be amazed at the effectiveness of a well-placed trance key. I had to smile just a little as I watched her begin to breathe in a very shallow fashion, indicating she had gone into a light to medium trance already. AAngela?@ I tested. AYes.@ came the dreamy reply. AOn your scale of one to ten, how deep a hypnotic trance do you feel you=re in?@ I tested again. AFive.@ came her immediate reply. AI=d like you to breathe deeply, very deeply, and, as you exhale each breath slowly I=d like you to count yourself down, relaxing more and more deeply as you hear yourself say each number, to the deep level of ten. And when you reach that very deep level of ten, I=d like you to tell me in some way that you=re there. Will you do that?@ AYes.@ she replied and immediately took a deep breath, letting it slowly out to the sound of her own voice counting out the number six. A wise therapist once told me that all hypnosis is self-hypnosis, and here was the living proof, not that I hadn=t seen it before, of course. I smiled confidently as I listened to her breath and count herself down into a much deeper trance. Besides, it saved me doing it. Today I had decided to increase my degree of control over Angela's trance, instead of pursuing communication on a subconscious level. That had been the idea I=d had the previous night as I=d watched the video. It seemed to take a lot out of her, as well as me. So, I planned to work on subconscious communication one day, and trance-control effectiveness the next. ATe-en.@ she said finally with a long sigh. I waited for her to follow her instructions as she said she would. AI=m here.@ came the relaxed, dreary sound of her voice. AThat=s fine, Angela.@ I told her quietly. AYou=re doing perfectly. Now. Just relax and enjoy your very relaxing deep trance for a couple of minutes so your mind and your body can benefit from the experience in every way. AAngela.@ I said. AWhen I count to three you will find that although you will remain in that very deeply hypnotised and relaxing trance, you will be able to talk very normally, with all signs of tiredness vanishing from your vocal tones, even though your mind and your body will remain deeply hypnotised and relaxed and listening to every word I say. Do you understand?@ AYeeessss.@ came her sleepy answer, almost given as a sigh instead of a word. AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly. One ... two ... three!@ I said, emphasising the last number. ACan you talk normally now?@ I tested. AYes.@ came her immediate and very clear answer. AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly.@ I cleared my thoughts, deciding there was no need to go into the therapy room for what I intended to do. I=d gotten the idea from watching Derek=s demonstration. AAngela.@ I began. AYou can now recall everything that happened in your deepest trance that happened yesterday. Isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ she answered clearly. AWhat I remember is that you became upset because I hadn=t yet established the full and correct form of communication with you for such an experiment, and, that was unfair of me. Today I want to establish the full and correct form of communication with you so that tomorrow, when we conduct that experiment again, you will have no need to get upset. Do you understand and agree?@ AYes.@ she answered quietly. AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly.@ I was all set. ABut for what we did achieve yesterday, you did very well ... like a very proud soldier ... carrying out your orders perfectly ... for the good of the experiment ... in discovering some very important things about yourself ... Isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ AThat=s right ... It is true ... you carried out your orders perfectly ... like a very proud soldier ... and from this moment on ... when you are in trance ... or when you are awake ... on the sound of my voice only ... you will carry out your orders perfectly ... just like you did yesterday ... like a very proud soldier ... isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ she replied quietly, her vocal tone taking on a more serious tone. ABecause ... deep down you know ... you=re a leader ... and you know the importance of carrying out orders perfectly ... when you are in trance ... or when you are awake ... on the sound of my voice only ... so you can lead others ... and show them how it's done ... how to carry out orders perfectly ... because you=re a leader ... isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ she answered, her voice a little more curt: her back a little straighter in the chair. Not as slumped as it had been. AAnd it=s good to know ... you=re an important member of the team ... who obeys her orders without question ... and without doubt ... for the good of all ...when you=re in trance ... or when you=re awake ... you can always obey your orders without question and without doubt ... at the sound of my voice only ... because you=re important part of the team ... isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ she almost snapped, her vocal tone becoming shorter and shorter with each of her successive answers. AThat=s fine.@ I said smartly to her, attuning my vocal tone to hers. AYou=re doing perfect ... like a very proud soldier. And now ... you may sit easy and enjoy your experience.@ That time, the straightening of her spine in the chair as she pulled herself up to almost sit at attention as she sat there hypnotised was very obvious, and, very pleasing. Then, in a slightly softer tone; AAngela ... you may sit easy ... now.@ AYes.@ she answered, visibly slumping her shoulders and relaxing her torso back into a more relaxed-looking posture. I decided to consolidate the degree of control I believed I already had over her mind- set with another burst. ANow you can ... feel yourself relaxing ... more and more deeply ... you can feel the heaviness of that deep relaxation ... in your entire mind and body ... you can feel the peace ... and the calm ... of this deep and relaxing trance ... and you can feel your mind and your body ... respond more and more completely ... to everything I say and suggest ... as you continue to ... allow your unconscious mind to relax you twice as deeply ... and allow everything I tell you will happen ... will happen ... exactly as I tell you ... it will happen ... when you=re in trance ... or when you=re awake ... isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ Angela answered in a normal tone of voice. AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfect.. When I count to three, and say the number three, you will become fully alert and wide awake, feeling fresh and alive, and feeling very, very good about yourself and your life in every way ... and ... forget to remember all of what has been said to you in this session ... because your unconscious mind will remember everything you needn't bother to remember .. so you can just forget everything. Do you understand?@ AYes.@ AOne ... two ... three!@ I settled back in my chair watching Angela blink her eyes several times and then focus on me as her mind and body came fully alert once again. She stretched. AWhy do I always feel so refreshed after hypnosis?@ she asked. ABecause your mind and your body relaxes so deeply.@ I told her. ASomething they don=t normally do at this time of day, and for some people, it never happens this deeply at all, even when they sleep.@ ATheir loss.@ she grinned. AThey don=t have you.@ And then she chuckled at her little joke. I grinned along with her. Then it was time to test when the silence began to look like setting in. AWhat do you remember?@ I asked. Angela cocked her head, her eyes looking upwards and to the side while she tried to recall the things said to her. Then she took a deep breath and sighed. AIt=s hazy.@ she said. AThings seem all jumbled up.@ AThat=s okay.@ I told her reassuringly. AI want to try a little test, if that=s alright with you?@ ASure.@ she replied. ASince you won=t take my money, it=s the least I can do.@ I sat up straight-backed in the chair and placed my forearms out in front of me on the desk. Then I put a serious countenance on my face. Angela=s face began to grin, no doubt thinking it was amusing, or I=d lost the plot within the last ten seconds. AYou are a very proud soldier!@ I snapped at her, military fashion. She jumped, then gave a nervous little laugh and half-smile. Now I felt I had lost the plot. AYou obey orders perfectly! Now! Sit to attention in front of your superior officer!@ I kept my face frozen and my body stiff. Angela=s face smiled, then stopped, then grinned, then lost that as well, before finally and slowly sitting to attention. AEyes straight ahead, soldier!@ I barked at her again with such venom it much her jump with fright. Her eyes locked onto some spot behind me and off to the right. AYou will follow your orders perfectly, soldier! Isn=t that true!@ I barked again like a shot out of a gun. AYes! ... sir!@ Angela answered, and inside I smiled. AYou are a very proud soldier! Isn=t that true!@ Yes, sir!@ she replied smartly. AWhen you=re in trance or when you=re awake! Isn=t that true!@ I barked at her again, feeling guilty as hell. AYes, sir!@ she almost barked back at me. Now for the acid test-the final piece of cold steel between the third and fourth rib. AAnd you will obey orders without question and without doubt! Isn=t that true! Soldier?@ AYes! Sir!@ Angela snapped back at me in the proudest military style of speech she could imagine. AStand up! Without question! Without doubt! Strip nude immediately! Now, soldier! Strip! Nude! Right! Now!@ I said, holding my breath and keeping my face and posture frozen like ice. Angela stood up quickly and and began to unbutton her shirt, her eyes staring directly ahead and above me. ASoldier! Staandat ... ease!@ I barked. Her eyes didn=t move from their straight-ahead stare. Her hands went behind her back as her left foot lifted and stamped down on the carpet about a foot from her right foot. She didn=t appear to relax at all with the stand-easy order. AYou may stand easy, Angela.@ I said in my normal tone. ANow that you know you=re really a very proud soldier.@ Her shoulders and back relaxed just a little, as did her chest and buttocks, but her eyes remained steadfastly staring directly ahead of her. My gaze roamed up and down her body several times, enjoying the momentary opportunity of what could have been afforded me by the experiment. Angela=s breasts were firm and full, jutting proudly forward beneath her shirt as she stood at ease in front of my desk. Her waist curved gracefully inward, then arched back out into a beautiful crescent over her shapely hips and thighs. I was equally as sure the apex of her crowning glory would be adorned with a lush, matted curly thatch of dark black hair. AYou have a very wonderful body to be proud of, soldier!@ I barked at her, causing her to jump with fright. AAre you very proud of it, soldier?@ Angela shifted her weight and snapped her leg back against the other, standing to attention as she answered. AYes, sir!@ AThat=s fine, soldier! You=re doing perfect! @ I finished. AYes, sir!@ she answered smartly. ASit down, soldier!@ AYes, sir!@ She sat quickly down in the chair, eyes still staring straight ahead of her, and somewhere beside my ear. :@Angela.@ I said quietly, in my normal tone of voice. ADo you know why we did the soldier routine?@ ANo.@ she replied, her voice shaking just a little. ATo test if the degree of control in effective communication had been successfully impressed on your subconscious mind so you wouldn=t be upset tomorrow when we repeated the experiment we did yesterday.@ I told her quietly. AAnd it has been. You can be very proud. You=re doing perfect.@ I smiled at her. ADo you understand?@ AYes.@ she replied. AWhy would you have undressed naked in front of me?@ I asked, testing yet again. AI obey orders.@ she said. AI tried to stop, but I couldn=t.@ ADid you want to do it?@ I asked. ANo.@ she said simply. AAre you happy we proved that your subconscious mind will accept the necessary orders without question and without doubt to avoid you becoming upset when we visit your subconscious mind again?@ I asked, consolidating in her mind the justification she would accept. AYes.@ she said simply. AAngela. Look at me.@ I said quietly. She turned her eyes in my direction, but not her head. ASeven.@ was all I said when her gaze met mine. Her eyes blinked, as if trying to recall that word or what it meant or why I=d said it, but before her conscious mind could come with a 'what' or a 'why' her subconscious mind took over. Her eyelids blinked a few times. Her eyes became glassy and sleepy-looking, then she closed them down tight and relaxed back down into the chair. AThat=s fine, Angela. You=re doing perfect.@ I said. AAnd now you can forget to remember everything that happened during this session, because your subconscious mind will remember when it=s time to ... so you can forget and not notice to remember anything that happened in this session and not remember everything you can so easily forget. Do you understand?@ AYes.@ came her quiet reply. AWhen I count three ... and say the number three ... you will be wide awake ... refreshed ... feeling alive ... optimistic and very excited about your new sexuality ... and not remember anything except to call in the morning and make an appointment for nine-thirty. Also you will have an early night tonight. Do you understand?@ AOne ... two ... three!@ Angela blinked once and then opened her eyes. Within seconds she was smiling as if she knew something I didn=t. AHow do you feel?@ I asked smiling. AI feel great! As always!@ she beamed back at me. AWell, I know you=ve got some plans to make regarding your new friends. And remember, if I can be of any further help, please give me a call.@ I tested. AThanks. But you=ve helped me enough, for free. I don=t think I=ll need to see you anymore. But, it=s been great!@ she said as her way of saying good bye. She then held out her hand for me to shake, which I did, then showed her from my office. I closed the door behind her and returned to my desk, setting about making my notes for the evening report. I was satisfied with Angela=s performance, both in and out of trance state, and, having control of her in both states might just come in handy if she ever became bewildered by anything that might happen in any of our future sessions, the results of which even I didn=t know as yet what to expect. I smiled as I began writing while everything was still fresh in my memory, glad that Angela had led the way to the door of my office and not me. My body was only just coming down to an acceptable size from having the exquisite of feasting my very appreciative eyes on hers. Nevertheless, I considered the day=s session with Angela to have been very productive. I was motivated and enthusiastic about the following day=s experiment in subconscious communication. I believed I would have even more success, having decided through some research I=d done on the internet to take an entirely different approach. At the meeting I again spoke last, elaborating briefly on what I had turned up by way of new ideas from research and then in detail on the session earlier with Angela. Like a gentleman I left out the nature of the test, simply describing it as flawless example of authoritarian direct hypnosis at its best. Derek seemed pleased and interested. Tina remained silent throughout, although she gave the benefit of three of her smiles as I stood up and began speaking. One man in particular seemed genuinely interested in the concept of the direct authoritarian approach and that was Andrew Sawyer. And again he had that same strange look in his eyes as he walked with me to the elevator after I=d locked my office door. It was as if he were trying to get me to realise something, although what it was I didn=t have a clue. And it was nothing he said- just the way he looked into my eyes whenever he spoke to me. Again I had not seen Tina as I=d been leaving. Having seen her leave the board room with Derek as she had the previous evening, I fully expected she would be remaining behind again with him. It was Andrew Sawyer who solved the small mystery for me as we stepped from the lift on the ground floor. AI guess Mister High and Mighty is working alone tonight.@ he said dryly. AWhat do you mean?@ I asked curiously, but casually as I held the glass door open for him to precede me through it. ATina left in the first elevator after the meeting.@ he said, turning to glance casually at me as he said it, with that same look in his eyes again. For a second only did I hold his gaze, then lost it when he reached the top of the stairs and stepped down the first of a dozen or so steps leading to the footpath, waving as he did so, then turning right at the bottom step, whereas I turned left to the car park. I spent most of the drive home pondering this man Andrew Sawyer and what hidden agenda he might have to be hinting to me at whatever he was hinting at. Maybe he had a thing, or had once had a thing with Tina? I thought at one stage, although I seemed to easily dismiss that idea, not really seeing him as her type. But then again, what was her type? I again began to puzzle, but before I came up with an answer I found myself driving into my security car park, wondering how I got there. I couldn=t clearly remember the traffic, or taking any of the turns I would have had to take to get there alive and in one piece. Apart from my special interest, I decided, as I got out of the car and locked it, my subconscious mind certainly came in handy for mundane things like driving safely home from work without concentrating on what I was doing in amongst the mass of moving metal of the following and opposing traffic. That evening I went back over all the notes I=d taken on Angela Simms, as well as watching the video of our session together two more times. By the time I=d finished and showered it was midnight. I hit the sack gratefully, and almost immediately began to puzzle over Andrew Sawyer=s possible motives for what I considered to be unusual behaviour in almost every one of our conversations, and, his comment about >Mister High and Mighty= hadn=t escaped me either. It seemed there was no love lost from him toward Derek Henderson. As I wondered if the reverse were also true I felt myself drifting off into noddy land and decided I=d done enough puzzling for one day. Then I simply allowed the sandman to take me wherever he wanted to-as long as he brought me back in the morning. It was a standing arrangement. * * * THE MULE Chapter VIII * * * Angela was five minutes early, as usual, and I was ready, having gone over everything I=d planned to cover, from the induction to the trance termination. Now the last part of the day=s session was sitting across from me, smiling like a Cheshire cat, believing she had made an appointment to discuss her sexuality, or the changing of it, as she saw it happening. AYou seem on top of the world this morning.@ I smiled at her. AI slept like a baby again! I don=t know what you did, but when I wake up I feel as loose as a handful of rubber bands and as soft as a ball of wool.@ she answered happily. AThat=s great!@ I replied, chuckling at her terminology. ANothing like a good night=s sleep to take away the rose-coloured glasses.@ I waited in the small silence that followed for her to start the conversation regarding her friend who was having a birthday. And she did. ACarol is coming over on Friday night.@ she said quietly, her smile fading just a little, but not completely gone. AWhen I told her I=d like to give her a birthday party and have a girl=s night with just the two of us she went all quiet for a while. But then she said she=d love to. So it=s all set.@ Angela=s eyes had dropped to stare at the desk which she always did, I=d noticed in the past, whenever she felt a little embarrassed. AThere=s nothing for you to be embarrassed about, Angela.@ I told her calmly. AIt=s your life and your decisions. You have to live and conduct your life in a manner that feels right for you-nobody else. Do you understand that quite clearly?@ She looked up when I had started to speak, and her eyes never left mine the whole time. Her smile was gone completely now. AYes.@ she replied quietly. ABut what if she ... what if she doesn=t ... you know-like me ... that way?@ AThe worst thing you could do right now is to pre-empt how Carol will feel about you, or anything. For all we know she=s going through the same period of self-discovery that you are right now. Maybe she needs a friend as much as you do-a close friend to share intimate feelings, and, maybe even personal desires with? Don=t rush anything. Just do and say whatever feels right, with no injustice to Carol, and then settle back and let nature take its course. Does that make sense?@ AYes.@ she answered, a little more happily than her last. AThank you for your advice and ...understanding.@ AYou=re most welcome, Angela. Have you noticed any other feelings or dreams that you wouldn=t call your normal self, given that you=re going through a rather large change in self-perspective of late?@ Again she lowered her gaze. AWell,@ she began. AThere has been one particular thought coming and going over the last twenty four hours, but, it=s different to what we=ve been talking about as far as ... my sexuality goes.@ Curious, I frowned a little. AYou have me interested.@ I said. AGo on.@ AWell. It=s ... err ... I don=t quite know how to ... ah ..you know.@ she stammered. ANo. I don=t know. You tell me, simply and just as it is. Don=t try to choos the words. Just say them as you find them on your lips. You=ll find it a lot easier.@ I smiled. She sighed. AOkay.@ she said, taking a deep breath. AIt=s you.@ AMe?@ I said, puzzled and curious. ANot you, exactly, but ... oh ...@ AJust say it as it is, Angela.@ I told her a little more forcefully. AOkay.@ she said, taking another deep breath. AI=m attracted to you ... physically.@ she got out with a sigh. ADoes that mean I=m not a ... a ... lesbian?@ I smiled at her in her embarrassment. ANo.@ I told her calmly. AIt only means you=re attracted to me, and that=s all. Lesbians sometimes can be attracted to men, but still prefer only to be intimate with women.@ ABut I=ve thought about ... you know ... you.@ she admitted softly. I smiled again at her stumbling with her own feelings, feeling a warm, tender feeling for her in her self-discovery, not knowing, but trying to understand what she was going through. AEveryone is different.@ I told her gently. AEspecially with their own private sexuality. There are no rights or wrongs, because there just isn=t a hand-book to guide the many, many differences between human beings and their individual private natures. What=s right for one isn=t necessarily right for another. But, as long as one person=s feeling of right regarding their own sexuality doesn=t impose on another=s in a difference that causes injustice or hurt, or isn=t forced on another, then right or wrong feelings don=t really come into it. Right and wrong are only words, Angela. It=s what people think when they think about those words that makes them so. Does that make sense?@ She was taking in every word I said, just looking at me with her beautiful eyes and that serious, sort of sad expression on her face. AYes.@ she said quietly. AEverything you say makes sense.@ Then, ADoes that mean it=s okay for me to have those feelings about .. you then?@ AOf course it is.@ I smiled at her. AIt=s human nature. That=s all. And, I=m very flattered.@ I told her grinning. AYou=ve made my day.@ She smiled at that and relaxed visibly in front of me. AI feel better now.@ she said smiling. AI just wanted to tell you, but ... but ... I didn=t know if I should-you know-the doctor and patient thing?@ AEverything is fine with me, Angela.@ I told her reassuringly. ABe gentle with me.@ I grinned at that last statement, and, after only a few seconds of silence, she laughed loudly. Then I did too for a few seconds. The tension that had been there was now gone. I could see that. Time to get to work on my project instead of hers now. I decided to try a couple of tests, knowing I could make her forget them when I had finished. AAngela.@ I began. AWould you like to see just where you=re feelings for me come from within your subconscious mind@ And how to what extent they exist?@ She stared at me evenly, her face serious again. I knew what she was thinking. AIt=s all about discovering who you really are, which is what you=re doing at the moment. Isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ she answered after a moment or two. Then, AOkay. But will I know what I=m saying?@ AO course.@ I smiled. AYou won=t be hypnotised. You=ll be exactly how you are right now. Your subconscious mind is already familiar with me. It can talk to me without you saying a word, and, everything it says will most probably be the truth for you. It doesn=t think about what answers it=s going to give me. It just answers questions as they=re put to it.@ AOkay.@ she said, her face becoming a little more curious and interested in what I was talking about. AWe can do that. What do I do?@ ANothing.@ I said. AExcept relax and breathe deeply. Now. Place your hands palms down on the desk like this. That=s right. Now. Your right index finger will be your yes finger, and your left index finger will be your no finger. Move them and say their words so you know how it feels.@ I watched as she did as I=d instructed her. AThat=s good.@ I told her. ANow. Your left little finger will be your I don=t know finger, and your right little finger will be your I don=t want to answer finger. Okay? Now. Try moving those fingers and saying the words at the same time.@ Again I watched her carry out my instructions perfectly. When she=d done enough in my estimation for her subconscious mind to know which finger said what I told her so. AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly.@ I told her. ANow. Just breathe deeply and relax for a few minutes. You can keep your eyes open if you wish, so you can see. You=ll be awake at all times, and remember, you can=t argue with what your own subconscious tells you. It=s the real you, that speaks only in what it knows everything about-feelings, with no punches pulled. Okay?@ AOkay.@ she said, now excited about whatever was going to happen with her fingers. I watched her settle, her eyes fixed on the fingers of both her hands as they alternated from one to the other rhythmically. ANow. All I want you to do with each question I ask is to think about it very strongly. Not the answer. Not the answer. Okay? Just the question.@ I told her. AOkay.@ she answered smiling and excited now. AGood. Now. Relax your arms and your hands and just listen to the questions. The first one is, would you like me to see you naked?@ She blushed instantly, but kept staring at her hands. The scarlet colour slowly began to spread upward from the base of her neck Then, to her shriek of dismay her yes finger twitched suddenly. Then she giggled and moaned. AGood. Now. Would you like to see me naked?@ I said. A long wait of at least two minutes. Angela glanced up at me a few times. Her face was flushed with either excitement, amazement, or embarrassment-probably a little of everything, but I didn=t smile. Then suddenly, her yes finger twitched again. AOooh nooo!@ she wailed, hanging her head for a few seconds before looking up smiling with embarrassment. AI can=t hide anything!@ I grinned. AI told you it would tell me the truth. Game enough to discover some things you maybe don=t know the answer to, consciously?@ I asked her. She thought for a few seconds before nodding her head, as I knew she would. AGood. Now. Have you fantasized about making love with me?@ I asked. Almost immediately her yes finger twitched. Angela shrieked and groaned, not taking her eyes off her hands and fingers. AOkay. Now. Have you thought about me making love to you lying on top of you?@ I asked. Again, her finger moved almost immediately, but it was her no finger. She groaned again a little more silently. AHave you thought about me making love to you with you on top of me?@ Again the no finger twitched, and again the groan. AOh, nnoo!@ Angela wailed softly, almost whimpering. AOkay. Have you thought about me making love to you while you=re on all fours and I=m entering your thighs from behind in dog-fashion?@ I asked. Angela=s yes finger twitched within a few seconds. AAaahhh!@ she cried out. Then hung her head, shaking it from side to side. AIt=s okay, Angela.@ I soothed her. AIt=s good to discover the truth about yourself. At least you know where you stand with yourself. Isn=t that true?@ AYes.@ she answered. AI guess so.@ Now for the shocker, I decided. AHave you thought about me performing oral sex between your thighs?@ I asked. Yes, came the answer from her subconscious mind, and again she moaned softly. AHave you thought about performing oral sex between my thighs?@ Again her yes finger told the truth. She looked like a defeated woman as she sat there staring at her hands and fingers. AHave you thought about the last two questions I=ve asked you in the last half hour?@ I asked. Again her finger told the truth. AHave you thought about them in the last five minutes?@ Yes came the truthful reply. AAre you thinking about them right now?@ Again the answer was yes, and again she moaned to herself and shook her head. AIs the feeling very strong to make it a reality?@ I asked, taking the test to its limit. Yes came the truthful answer, and a louder moan from her lips. Angela didn=t know it, of course, but she was, in fact, hypnotised. Her body was responding with the truth to every question whether she wanted to or not. ADo you want to undress and have me look at your naked body right now?@ I asked. This time Angela groaned before her finger answered yes. And when it did she groaned again, continuing to shake her head slowly from side to side, while her eyes never left her hands and fingers. ADo you feel wet and warm in your secret place right now?@ Yes, her answer came quickly. Oooh! Nnnnoo!@ she exclaimed, vigorously shaking her head as if trying to remove something caught in her hair. AIf I said, do it now, would you stand up and lift your dress up and take down your underwear to let me look at your wet and warm secret place?@ Angela groaned woefully as her finger said yes. Angela groaned and hung her head, shaking it quickly from side to side, fighting her own subconscious mind. But it was going to be a losing battle on her part. I knew it, and so did she. Then Angela looked at me strangely, her eyes seemed to be beckoning. I was as hard as a rock. But I knew I was only human. AWould you like to forget this ever happened. Forget every question and answer you just discovered as if you never knew them? If I say, do it now?@ Yes, her finger answered where it hung from her hand. ADo it now!@ I said firmly. AThat=s fine. You=re doing perfectly.@ I told her. AClose your eyes now, and when you open them again this session will have never taken place, and you=ve just been talking to me about Carol=s birthday party.@ She closed her eyes for about thirty seconds, and when she opened them again she blinked a couple of times, then looked at me and smiled. AIt should be fun.@ she said smiling a little shyly. AI hope everything goes okay.@ AI=m sure it will be, Angela.@ I told her reassuringly. AI=m sure it will be.@ We just looked at each other for a few moments. Angela Simms was very definitely a mule. Of that, there was no doubt in my mind whatsoever. And mules need to be protected from people, known and unknown, otherwise they=re taken advantage of and used and abused. I wondered then about the professionalism of the other therapists involved in their various projects with their own mules. I remember being told that all the patients were mules, to some extent, and in saying that, I realised that I, too, took advantages of a visual nature in my mind's imagination, but only to a limited extent with Angela. However, that was the limit to my abuse of her natural mule tendencies. All in the name of science, I rationalised. (to be continued) -- +----------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `--------------+ | | | | Archive site +----------------------+--------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | ----