Message-ID: <6593eli$9803032150@qz.little-neck.ny.us> From: SR Subject: NEW STORY: (SR) Raven Hair (MF chat/mail) Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <19980303155724.11550.rocketmail@send1c.yahoomail.com> miners can't read without those lamp-hats on their heads. feel free to copy or archive. do whatever you want with it, just don't blame me. i think i've almost got the hang of this. in the remotest depths of 1991 or 1992 or 1993 -- back when the worldwide web was just a gleam of spit in the corner of marc andreesen's pouty little mouth -- i spent lots and lots of time (and LOTS AND LOTS of money) dialed up to an annoying little bulletin board somewhere in america's heartland. it was an addiction that i thought i'd kicked... but sometimes on cold winter nights when my boyfriend is miles away it comes back. if you recognize yourself as a combatant in any of these, feel free to contact me (parasol_60@yahoo.com) but no flames, please, cuz i'm a delicate frail flower who might not be able to stand it. This story is introduced by "Raven Hair," who captured the initial conversation, the email messages that followed, and subsequent chats. A little followup information is appended to enhance your reading pleasure. I did not "record" the beginning of this conversation. It is a conversation I had with a 34-year old divorced man "Mike". I ("Raven Hair" -- Indian shaman-woman-in-training) had been explaining my relationship with the Earth Mother and her training as a Medicine Woman of the Odawa Medicine Society. The man had already explained that he had some native American Heritage on his mother's side. Medicine Woman has just been describing the way in which a Medicine Woman must be bisexual, but that she needs to understand much more about "male energy". She is asking him for help in understanding male ways... [Chat capture initiated in progress...] My teacher, my Shaman has told me that I must be able to understand both male and female ways, if I am to become a Medicine Woman or Shaman. I have had experiences with both men and women, but my sensing of male powers is weak, because I don't have much experience. I will try to help as much as I can, but you will have to guide me a little as to what exactly you may be looking for. Hmmm. There is so much. I need to understand -perhaps you can describe it-what it feels like to need a woman. I don't know how that would be for a man. And since you have some Native background, perhaps I will be able to connect with you spiritually as you describe your feelings. I will do what I can to lead you. OK. There are really a couple of ways a man could need a woman, but the physical, I guess, is not so much the need of a woman, as it is a need for sexual release. I mean, physically the urge can be satisfied by anyone. But to need a woman emotionally, even spiritually ...that is not so easy to describe...it is more than the need to be loved, which is probably strong in all of us. For me, there is an essence of womanhood that provides a completeness....it is not as if each is only a half, but the two, when souls combine, become a greater whole. And when the separation occurs, there is almost a feeling of inadquacy; of something missing....that creates a need. We men than do many different things, mostly making fools of ourselves, to fullfill that need....that inner yearning. And often we confuse it with the physical, and fall far short of achieving what it is we actually seek. You are wise. I wondered as you wrote whether you have ever had any Native training... Your description of completeness makes a lot of sense. All beings yearn for completeness, and achieve it at many levels. I also felt some pain in your language, as though you have been deeply hurt at some time. I have never had any Native training, but have always sensed something deep within me that I often attributed to that part of my heritage... unfortunately I live in an area where such is not common, and I all too often allow it to be buried, rather than accept the guidance it once gave me when I was younger. And yes, I have been hurt...a very tragic divorce and separation from my daughters...but I have also been blessed with an abundant life....for one cannot appreciate the sweet without tasting the bitter. Indeed. That is native wisdom. Some of our Elders say that all whites are now Native Americans, that they don't know it yet. We hope that the white culture will learn to honor Mother Earth as we do. I am dedicated to Mother Earth, myself. This is why I must learn male and female ways. Yes. I am learning more of the respect we all must learn to pay to Mother, and long ago learned to accept that She also has a spirit and feels the pain that mankind has inflicted upon her. She also feels the pleasure we bring. We think enough about hurting the Earth, we don't think that our pleasures are good for her. This is deep wisdom from the Spirit. Smelling a flower, tasting a good meal, and enjoying deep and ecstatic sex are pleasures that make Her happy. That is why I am here tonight. What about you? You are very wise, Ravenhair. I come here for different reasons...I seek friendship, and fulfill fantasies. Both are very pleasurable. So, in that I know you a bit - you have shared from the heart with me, and I am honored that you would do that - do you wish to share a fantasy with me? Would you like to make love with an Indian Medicine Woman (in training...)?? It would be I who is honored by your request. Actually, a long unfulfilled fantasy is to make love to an Indian Woman... in training or not. If you wish, then... tell me how you might like it - but let me know, too, that you are concentrating your spiritual energy on me. I want to see if I can really feel it this far away. I will do my best. I enjoy taking my time, and my pleasure is entwined in the pleasure that I can give to you. I guess that I would first enjoy a walk with you, under the stars, possibly beside a flowing river. As we become more comfortable in each other's prescence, I would take your hand in mine, and gently bring it to my lips, as I looked deeply into your eyes, trying to join our spirits, probing the depths of your wisdom and beauty. Bending my head a little, I would kiss you, gently at first, then more passionately, as our tongues entangle. I would stroke my hand through your long raven tresses, then start to rub your back, feeling the softnes of your skin I as I run my hand up under your blouse, drawing you closer to me. Oh, please... There is a wonderful place near here where a meadow runs down to the river... That's where I am, with you. It is cool but your body feels hot against mine, and your breath on my neck makes me shiver. I am breathing faster, because I know in my heart that you are going to take me completely, and I intend to give myself entirely to your pleasure. Your kisses inflame me, my folds of flesh at the opening to my pleasure place are wet. My hand trembles as you slide your hand up the back of my blouse. I tell you, "Open my blouse, now. I need to feel your lips and your hot breath on my breasts... Please do it. I open your blouse, and slide it from your lovely shoulders, exposing your breasts, and I watch as the cool air causes your nipples to become erect. I begin to kiss your shoulder, working down your neck, running my lips and tongue between your breasts. I pull you down to me, and gently lay you on the lush meadow. I press my lips to yours, caressing your breast, then begin my downward path once again. as I reach the valley between them, I begin to circle the base of one, working my way in ever decreasing circles upward to your erect, trembling nipple. Gently I take it between my lips, carressing it with the tip of my tongue, feeling your body respond as you press against my willing mouth. I then dedicate myself to the pleasure of your other breast, repeating the lavishing I have given to the first, then drawing as much of your breast as I can into my eager, hungry mouth. Oh! I am gasping and shuddering with delight. Your gentle tongue and warm mouth light a fire in my belly that will not go out. I feel the need for you racing up and down my naked flesh. I reach toward you, needing to feel your manhood. I remove my shirt, allowing your hands to explore my chest. I then reach to remove your pants, and my own. This done, I once again flick each nipple lightly with the tip of my tongue, then begin to kiss your belly, decending to the mysteries of your womanhood. My mouth seeks out the inside of your thigh, then traces a path back up, trailing thru the jungle of your pubic curls, and down the other thigh. I gasp I then lick my way back up to the apex of your desire, allowing my tongue to trail teasingly ove the lips of your womanhood, then more fully to your clitoris. My naked body shines with sweat in the moonlight, my breasts heave and bounce from my quick and shallow breathing. Each time your tongue comes close... I gasp, needing more. I need to touch your manhood. I pull you around, finding it hard and ready. Keeping your face buried in my raven black fuzz, I draw your glistening cock-head close to my lips. I stare in wonder at the thickness and strength of it, and I feel a desire to drink its sweet juices. Would that be good, my love? That would be most pleasurable. The foreskin has never been removed from my cock...I hope you don't mind. It's wonderful!. That's the way the Mother made you... I love it. Opening my thighs and pulling myself a little closer, I invite your wonderful tongue back into my wetness, and, cupping your balls in one hand, I wrap my hand gently around your swollen cock and give it a little pump. Just a little, teasing you. I feel your tongue probing deeper into my depths, and I gasp again, as it releases another burst of pleasure into my belly. Opening my lips, I guide your cock toward my face, pulling back the hood as I lower my mouth. I let the hot breath fall over the purple, throbbing head, then lick at the glistening droplet of things yet to come... Enough of teasing you, I close my lips and slide your cock between them, feeling you jerk with pleasure. Your breath is faster, and I feel your hips trembling. The smell of the meadow-grass mingles with the scent of your womaness, and the sweat of our bodies. My tongue parts the lips of your pleasure, and explores the very depths of your pussy. My hands knead the firm flesh of your buttocks, pulling your mound closer that I may delve even deeper. You lips and tongue drive me to distraction, as I taste the juices that flow from your love-box. Oh! it's here! ... I press my hips against your face, and my body shudders. My breasts press against your belly and I shake as waves of pleasure radiate up from my pussy and shake my very soul. You are gentle, lover, and you let me relax so I can work on you next. Indeed, I lick the last of your juices, than roll over on my back to allow you to continue. I press my breasts against your sweaty body, rubbing my nipples back and forth across your hairy belly. Then I lower my head again, slowly slowly slowly until I feel you jump at the contact. Then, wanting you, wanting your male cream, wanting you to give it to me and let me drink your male essence, I drop my head, engulfing your throbbing cock deep in my throat. I start pulling back up, then down, up, then down, I am mad for your cream, I want it all. Give me your sweet cream! I pump your cock with with wildness of the wind, Like a mare, serving a stallion. I want it. Let me drink your sweet maleness... Please do....I thrust toward your loving mouth....ready to fire my thick male cum at your desire and demand. Please. I pull back a second and say, "Feed it to me. Let me drink your cream." I lower my lips again, and pump up and down, again and again, I cup your churning balls in my hand, squeezing lightly, and drive your cock deep into my throat. I begin to tremble and spasm. I entwine my fingers in your raven locks, begging you to drink me in. I run my tongue around the swollen head, inflamed with wanting your seed. I pump up and down again, begging for you to release your sweet pleasure-juice into my throat. How I want to feel it spurting against the back of my throat, and feel the strength of your male potency in my mouth! I am ready...I am yours. Pumping madly, I squeeze your balls, and feel your cock-head swelling even more against the back of my throat. My lips do a dance of pleasure on the up-stroke, and I engulf you hungrily, begging for your cream. Give it to me, lover. Please.. My cock throbs and jerks, and the cream you demand begins to spurt in great thick gobs. I feel the cream splash against the back of my throat, and I am filled with joy, hearing you groan in ultimate pleasure, releasing your male essence into my mouth. Your spurts of hot seed are too much for me, and I pull back to get my breath, allowing some of it to spurt against my lips. My hair falls in disarray over your twitching member, and bits of cum splatter into it, too. I lick your cock, as the tremendous power of the orgasm slowly wanes, cleaning off all the sweetness. I lift my head, licking my lips, and crawl up to your face. I plant a deep, wet kiss on your lips, letting you taste some of the wonderful gift you just gave me. I kiss you in return, drawing you close, feeling your warm pleasant body against mine, as I caress your face and stroke your hair. I would love to continue this, but I just looked at the time and was supposed to meet my mother 5 mins ago. Will we talk again? If the Mother wills it, we will share pleasures again... in this world or the next.. who knows. You may have just been to "heaven", my lover. ===================================================================== Next Day: ===================================================================== Message #1 From: JustSo 10495 To: Raven Hair 11977 Subject: deepest apologies Hello, Ravenhair. I feel I must apologize, although I had no control over the abrupt way we were disconnected. I should have told you that we were experiencing some sporadic electical storms in this area, but I just got caught up in our conversation. Earlier I had been knocked out of forum, then completely off the board. I had only been back on a minute or so when you logged on. During the time we talked the lights flicked a few times, but I had hoped that everything would stay on. Then, at the very end, all my power went out. I waited a couple of minutes to see if it would return, but it didn't so I went on to my mother's. She lives about 4 miles away, and we are doing some remodling of her house, so that we can divide it. I will be moving over there soon, and buying the place from her...but we each like our privacy, hence that renovation. I had to go over to check a couple of things out. I very deeply hated to leave you with the impression that I just dumped you. Again, my apologies. I immensely enjoyed our conversation: every aspect of it. You are a .... sorry, words fail me. I have never had an experience such as we shared...Thank you very much. I am as interested in your culture and in what you are becoming as I am in you as an intensly desirable woman. I know that you will make a wonderful Shaman. You have uncapped the well of my desire to know more of the heritage left ot me by my Native ancestors, and I thank you for it. I have never fully felt a part of the White Man's world, but felt I would not be welcomed as a true Native. It is if a part of my soul is Indian, trapped in a white shell...or maybe I'm just a White man who wants to believe he's a Native... Regardless, never have I experienced anything so intense and totally sensual on this BBS...nor probably in real life. I am not falling in love with you, at least not in the terms of the world....I know not how to describe the feeling...it was so much of a joining...so much more thatn a physical experience...I was not loving just your body, but, it seemed, your essence. The words are inadequate to describe, yet I think you will understand. I know not if you experience was in any way the same, but I do hope you will forgive the parting, and that the future might allow us another chance to share cultures and pleasures. I leave you one more thing, as a token of my trust and appreciation. I am aware that there is much power in a name, and so I tell you mine....My first is Michael, my second Henry. I hope you will call me Friend. JustSo Message #2 From: JustSo 10495 To: Raven Hair 11977 Subject: addendum Just wanted to add one more thing...I don't really know if this was the linking of our spirit energies, or what...maybe you would have a better idea. For nearly for days now I have suffered with a migraine headache...never have I had one so severe, nor any longe than 10 or 12 hours, max. But for all that it is still with me even now, during the time that we shared I felt no pain at all....and it continued that way for sometime after the disconnection. Maybe I was just so intensly involved with you that I just forgot about it...but afterwards I was conscious of NOT having the pain...and of when it began to come back. I thank you for the respite, regardless of the how or why. I am humbly at your service. Mike (JustSo) Send private mail To: JustSo 10495 From: Raven Hair 11977 Subject: Re: addendum Mike, If your parting was abrupt, your memory lingered with me the rest of the evening. I felt a heart-contact with you, and I kept a warm twinge deep in my belly as I recalled our conversation. I have seen migranes or serious headaches of other kinds clear up when I have spoken to people from the heart, and helped them to likewise open up. I think that, whatever the physical cause of headaches, the spiritual cause is a combination of alienation and fear. Maybe also hopelessness. Anyway, letting go, even for a while, and knowing that the Earth Mother loves and supports you through people who are open to her, can help to cure the deeper cause of headaches. I have seen migraines dissipate just from screaming. Sometimes people go out to a far, wild place and just scream. Then they relax, come home, and go on with life in a quiet, centered way, knowing that they are loved, that they have a purpose. You are loved. Because of my distance and my anonymity, I can only love you in a meagre way, perhaps bringing you a bit of physical release. But my spiritual gift to you is to rekindle your love for your Mother, and invite you back into a healthy relationship with her and with her children. Study the wisdom of your roots, both Native and European. There is much to learn. Be at peace with yourself, and put aside guilt and fear. You are loved. Ravenhair says so. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Entering Chat Mode * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Chat from: Raven Hair 11977 Chat to: JustSo 10495 Hello, and again I apologize. I kicked the phone line loose, and am quite embarassed. Well, you should be... (smile) I don't really mean that. I had a nice conversation with a couple while you were gone. They wanted me to have phone sex with them. He wanted to fuck my ass. I'm not sure I'm into that. I have much more fun with "straighter" sex. I can understand that. You can run into all kinds on this board, and I've run into some pretty wild ones, altho I try to stay away from the more blantant ones. So, first, I have to sign off soon . sorry, but second, did you read my response to you. I said some important things about your headaches. I need to know if I am "feeling" you right. Yes, I read your response, and I think you are right. I haven't tried the scream yet...have grown too used to holding so much inside that I forget that I don't have to in private. I will try that. The headache has been much less severe today, and I think part of that was our rapport yesterday. Tahnk you. My purpose is to be a healer. I get my "kicks" out of knowing that I am "feeling" someone's spirit correctly, then trusting my knowledge of the Spirits to give that person what they need. Sometimes it's an herbal remedy, sometimes it's a sense of being in touch - just someone to talk to, sometimes it's sex. I have to "know" with an inner knowing what helps a given person. I was hoping that I had helped you. I hope you don't mind being an experiment of mine? Be my guest, and feel free to experiment all you desire with me. I have enjoyed the experience of knowing you this very short time, with an intesity that I cannot hardly comprehend. I am glad to be able to help you in whatever small way I can. The best way to help me is to focus on your own experience of health.. maybe not the right word. of wholeness, maybe. Then let me know whether my sense of what you need makes a difference to you. Your connection to me has a very physical element now, in that I invited you in a fantasy way, to make love with me... But were you loving me or really taking care of yourself? That's one to ponder. There are about 30 men sending me all kinds of bizarre messages while I'm typing. If this was a real place I would get fucked 6 dozen times tonight. Do you think you could handle that ? :) As far as weather I was loving you or taking care of myself, I came to understand long ago that the two were inseperable for me...to fully take care of my own needs, I must give my love to my companion...and if her needs and desires are not met, then my own cannot be fulfilled. I was loving you, and not just sending words accross a computer screen...and the wholeness I felt was not something I have ever experienced here before. That was a gift from the Earth Mother. You see, the Mother loves you and takes care of you whether you know it or not. Even if you don't believe a bit of anything about the Spirit world, The Mother takes care of you. Your chair is wood or metal from her body, your house is her body. Your car is her body. In fact, you are the Earth, looking at itself. You and I are not separate from the Earth and from her love. Ponder that, and learn to see it everywhere. Then you will enhance the mystic in you. And prople will begin to think that you've flipped. And you will enjoy life as never before, and every act of pleasure, even sex, will come alive in a new way. That's my gift to you tonight. I really must go soon... :( My own believes coincide very closly...but i fear I have not lived up to those belifefs in quite a while...it is too easy to be drawn away into the material and physical, and let them be supplanted by the spiritual, rather than enhanced by them. I believe all living things have a spirit,and the Earth is Living. I believe that one should try to be as in tune as possible with that which is spiritual, and you have indeed granted me a specail gift in helping me back on to that road. I must go. If you need me, touch my spirit. If you need my touch, or my physical comfort, you may fuck me in your dreams. I will watch, and try to be aware of your need. I have to go. You honor me, Ravenhair. I hope I may prove worthy of that honor, and return it to you. Go with my soul, and grace. Thank you. See you in the dream world... Let's have some fun there. Bye. Indeed...and some fun when we see each other again. Good night! ============================= "Raven Hair" was a 50-year-old man from mid-state suburban Michigan... I actually knew him best by the name "StarChild" but he also went by a number of other names on the bbs including "Jondalar" and "Merlin." He also wrote some stories under the pen-name "Andy Benedette" -- they may be posted somewhere sometime. He had read a book about Indian mysticism and thought he was all that. Who knows, maybe he was. "Mike" was a 34-year-old man from Maryland who was a fairly close friend -- such as it was. When I learned about their so called "relationship" I told Mike the truth about his friend "Raven Hair". He was not happy. A few months later Mike supposedly "asked a friend" to log on with his name and to send mail to a few of us saying that Mike had died. I later learned from him that around the same time he experienced a nervous breakdown. Believe anything anyone says at your peril. Even me. Fuck... **ESPECIALLY** me. -- SR _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us |