Message-ID: <8461eli$9802141652@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: "Milos Bogdanovic" Subject: St. Valentine's Day! "Oh, I would like to fall in love so much!" Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <01bd3995$6b6f2b80$88cdf7c2@default> Sometimes we hear: "Oh, I would like to fall in love so much!" In a classical relationship, a young man and his girlfriend notice that their conversations and their friendship are "empty" and because of that they try to add to it by arousing one other's emotions which they use as a moving force in their relationship. A relationship which is based on emotions instead on real love is a relationship of the mutually burdened. They are such in the mutual game of their selfish wishes. They do not love each another, but they like the values they see in each another. It is quite the same whether they see the value (the reason of the love) in a nice physical appearance or in material values possessed by the person concerned. If we love a person with a selfish love that always demands a reason we love for, we will be prone to "sacrifice" that very person for the reasons we love him or her for. It is a characteristic of every selfish love, no matter where it is directed; to oneself, to another man or to a community. For example, a nationalist will be prone to sacrifice his nation because of the values he loves it for, as well as a self-centered man will commit suicide because of his hurt conceit, etc. In a true love, the reason why we love somebody is not in the values of the person we love, but is in the motive of the very love for which we love that person. The person we love has his or her virtues (and weaknesses), but they are not a reason but an opportunity for expression of our love toward him or her. Pleasant feelings of marital closeness must not be a foundation of faith, but just an opportunity for its manifestation. By a wrong role of the feeling of closeness, one just suppress the awareness of the opportunities for expressing and accepting a true friendship. A constant opportunity for expressing and accepting love of a true friendship is a mutual understanding omitted in a classical relationship, for it would disguise the "selfish game" and so disturbed the lulled conscience. A classical relationship is based on a mutual satisfying of selfish desires and not on satisfying of man's real needs. For a selfish man is more important how he heels that whether what he is doing is well, and so the man will sacrifice his very existence for a pleasure. On the contrary, a true love is directed to the needs of the very life and existence. It is a reasonable and purposeful response to man's real needs, and therefore it creates a trauma of selfish relationships. Since man does not like himself, an acceptance of other's goodness represents a humiliation and an attack on his own great I, for it comes into conflict with the principles of his own self-sufficiency and selfishness. Should, for example, a side inspired by a true friendship tell another a couple of advises about healthy foods, than the latter could reply: "It is not your business whether I will have a healthy diet! It is my private thing! It is not up to you to mix into it!" The institution of a classical relationship is understood as a political institution, where each has his or her selfish interest. The relationship is a successful one if those needs are mutually in an accord, but is not good if those needs are confronted. There is a silent convention about a reciprocal satisfaction of the selfish interests and about a reciprocal lulling of conscience: "Do not mix into my life. It is my thing. With me not loving myself, who are you to love me? It humiliates me! But, if you want to be my boy(girl)-friend, to exchange with me sexual pleasures, then I agree to be in a relation with you! If you wish to be with me, don't upset my conscience, and I will not yours either! I will always avoid all the questions obliging spiritually and morally. I will leave to you to determine your spirituality for yourself, but leave me, my sins, my mind and conscience alone. It is my business! Because of that irrationality of sin, in a classical relationship, the common sense is excluded, for it would disguise the game. That many have got convinced of the sinful motives of their emotional relation with a person of opposite sex is seen from their attitude: "I will not go out with that person, for he (or she) is my friend. I don't want to spoil the friendship!" So they show unconsciously that they are not moved by a true love but by a selfish one in their "going out", opposed by a true friendship. Because they are moved by selfishness, instead of love, they are most frequently afraid of marital responsibilities. They are reserved with regard to marriage with the person they are "going out" with, in a hope of finding a better person and then to abandon the former one immediately. Thus they show that they are with the another person not for his or her sake, bit for their own sake. The Bible condemns clearly pre-marital relationships: "Tel marriage be held in honor by all, and let the marriage bed be kept undefiled; for God will judge fornicators and adulterers." (Hebrews 13:4) "But fornication and impurity of any kind, or greed, must not even be mentioned among you, as is proper among saints. Entirely out of place is obscene, silly, and vulgar talk; but instead, let there be thanksgiving. Be sure of this, that no fornicator or impure person, or one who is greedy (that is, an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God." (Ephesians 5:3-5) "Shun fornication! Every sin that a person commits is outside the body; but the fornicator sins against the body itself. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body." (1 Corinthians 6:18-20) It is possible, of course, to transfer the mentioned abuses also to the institution of marriage, where the marital union becomes a cover for mutual selfish and bodily desires of the mates. Marital closeness should be a step more in expressing an already existing friendship, and not a substitution for the friendship unattainable for a selfish heart. Sexuality is one of the ways of expressing love for marital partner, but when a man has not a true love then sexuality becomes an object of man's selfish desires. Thus the special closeness of a marital union becomes a a constant opportunity for expressing variety of sins, instead of being an opportunity for expressing a true love, and so its potential blessing transforms into an utmost damnation. Researches show that the greatest percentage of murders has not been committed somewhere at the street during the night, but in one's own home by one's "the closest". "Say to wisdom, 'You are my sister,' and call insight your intimate friend that may keep you from the loose women, from the adulteress with her smooth words. For at the window of my house I looked out through my lattice and I saw among the simple ones, I observed among the youths, a young man without sense, passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house in the twilight, ... With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. Right away he follows her, and goes like an ox to the slaughter, or bounds like a stag toward the trap. Until an arrow pierce its entrails. Do not let your hearts turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths. For many are those she has laid low, and numerous are her victims. Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death." (Proverbs 7) The process whereby Satan leads his victims to the slaughterhouse has the following phases: 1) DIRECTING AN FALLING IN LOVE Satan has the right on the persons moved by a selfish love and tendency to falling in love, and has the right to manipulate them through their weaknesses. He firstly inflames a selfish discontent in them, and then directs them to the another half. He inspires sometimes men also with very sublime and strong feelings in order that they get to the closeness reserved for a marital union only. He often lulls their conscience by various signs and miracles, in order that they can sin in peace. 2) BINDING TOGETHER I order to be able to manipulate his victims more easily later on, and to induce them more successfully into various sins, he tries firstly to make the persons bound to and dependent on each others. It is the same whether he succeeds in it by an emotional dependency or by financial, housing or some other interests. Often the very institution of marriage established in traditional environment or a child birth represents a way in which Satan binds two persons together, in order to reveal his real face and to manipulate them only later on. 3) OPENING EYES AND PROVOKING A CONFLICT When a bond between two persons is realized to such an extent that it is too late or very difficult to break that bond, Satan enters a discord into the desires of those who are "going out". Either side suddenly gets different plans for life, whether on a level of important life issues or in relation to trivial daily details, and disagreements occur. Then Satan removes the veil from the eyes, most often to one side only, and then it wonders how it could begin relationship at all with a person of such a character. Satan withdraws his intoxicating feelings soon and the person see its other part in a such a light as never before. "The Amnon was seized with a very great loathing for her; indeed his loathing was even greater than the lust he had felt for her. Amnon said to her, 'Get out!'" (2 Samuel 13:15) One side (or the other too) understands too late that he or she actually has never acquainted his or her partner. An attractive appearance and magic feelings of previous encounters have dazzled completely a reasonable knowing of the real character of that person. He or she actually has never looked for a true friend in the other side, but just an object of satisfying his or her own sexuality, and when the practical life began to reveal the real character of that person a sobering came too late. Most frequently Satan still inspires the other side by pleasant feelings and it tries to retain the impact on the other person by a feeling of pity or by arousing a feeling of guilt. So their relationship becomes an obvious mutual burden they have not strength to get of themselves. In the mutual conflicts a manifestation of almost all sins they bear in themselves take place, and so such a relationship becomes an utmost damnation. Satan inspires their mutual actions and a worst interpretation of those actions in order to provoke as sinful mutual reaction as possible in such a way. 4) FALSE HOPE If there exist possibility of breaking such a relationship, in the moments when one side think about the break, Satan influences the other person's behaviour so that he/she corrects his/her behaviour, in order to give a false hope to the other side about an eventual happy end. 5) ADULTERY When a man has relied on the force of falling in love which is of Satanic inspiration, Satan has a power to redirect those feelings to another person, and so induce the man to the sin of adultery. 6) JEALOUSY Since man is prone to interpret the others' actions by the principles of his own sinful heart, he tends to suspect his mate through his own adultery and to suffer from jealousy. 7) SOLUTION If those persons are "inappropriate" and have already been in a union which is unbreakable because of children or some other reasons, there still exists a solution. As much as they are near God, they will be near to each another. It is necessary that both sides experience a reform of character, to realize an experience of a spiritual rebirth. then the unity of the marriage will not be founded on common interests, or on the very form of marriage union, but on the same Spirit of divine love which will inspire their mutual relations. Just their mutual weaknesses will become an opportunity for mutual help and encouragement in their overcoming. Better and better understanding of the other side will give more and more opportunity for expressing mutual love. in that way human weakness can become God's strength of those mates who humiliate themselves before God and leave to Him creation of their life course. When they repent for their sins, and reconcile with God, God Himself will become a foundation of their unity and true friendship. * * * HOW TO REALIZE A REAL UNSELFISH GOODNESS A drug-addict will offer drug to his/her for a feeling of love. Therefor, to have a feeling of love does not mean a motive of love as well. What is the difference and how to realize a real love? http://www.net.yu/files/Authors/milo/wwws/7oib.html ARE WE MOVED BY A REAL LOVE OR A PSYCHOLOGICAL NEED? A man burden with psychological needs has neither time nor will to love. How to discern a real love from a burden? http://www.net.yu/files/Authors/milo/wwws/engl.html IS A SIN TO FEEL HAPPINESS? Sin is not in feelings but in selfish motives whereby man reacts on pleasant experiences. http://www.net.yu/files/Authors/milo/wwws/a2.html HOW TO COMPREHEND GOD? God is comprehended by reason, felt by feelings, chosen by will and lived by heart! However, many people try to comprehend God by feelings, to feel Him by reason, to choose Him by a sinful heart and to live Him by will. So they fall either to heavy discouragement or to various kinds of fanaticism. http://www.net.yu/files/Authors/milo/wwws/esc.html HOW TO RECONCILE WITH GOD Many people are burdened with a need to come out before their conscience, other men and God with some their own righteousness. However, God does not ask from us our own righteousness, but offers his own as a gift. He does not want to satisfy our need for a feeling of our own righteousness, but wants to rest us from that need. He Himself wants to become a strength of our will and a righteousness of our life. http://www.net.yu/files/Authors/milo/wwws/pha.html HOW JESUS ACTED TOWARD ADULTERESS "People love sin, but do not love sinner. Jesus does not love sin, but loves sinners." http://www.net.yu/files/Authors/milo/wwws/da50egw.html Greetings from Milos, milos@net.yu -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ |