Message-ID: <7231eli$9801120013@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: Celeste801 Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 248 - Jan 3 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: X-Is-Review: yes Celestial Reviews 248 - January 10, 1998 Note: I have received a couple of private emails in the past month or so in which authors were pretty upset at me or my guest reviewers for writing what they perceived to be negative reviews of their stories. First, let me point out that I think I and anyone else have a right to review any story we want to review. If you don't want someone to react publicly to your stories, then don't post them publicly. I can't imagine why a person would post a story in a public place unless he/she were aware that someone might dislike it and might say so. I know that I myself dislike it when an intelligent person says my use of the English language is "execrable," but I certainly feel that the person has the right to say that about me once I have "gone public" with my writing. In general, once I read a story all the way through, I am going to write a review of it. The only exceptions occur when I say to myself, "This just isn't worth writing about." If it was a bad story, I think it is appropriate to say so, rather than to decide that I won't review the story because it was bad. I encourage my guest reviewers to take a similar stance. Having said that, I should add that I do NOT go out of my way to find stories that will give me an opportunity to put someone down. If a story looks illiterate, I tend to skip it. However, if an author sends me a story that appears badly written but asks me to review it, I'll go ahead and review it and possibly post a negative review. I have been amazed at how many authors send me a weak story, get a bad review, and then send me a near masterpiece the next time. I try to be constructive or at least polite in my criticisms. However, my main goal is usually to entertain my readers and to help them find good stories, and I'm told that I do a good job at this. I view a lot of the authors as my personal friends, and I often feel guilty when I give them a "low" rating. To take an example, I have given Kim straight tens on her last three or four stories. I'm afraid it's going to be traumatic for me to give her a non-10; but in all honesty I may have to do that some day. She and I will just have to handle that, I guess. I think I personally am better at polite and constructive criticism than are some of my guest reviewers - but I don't want any of them to quit because of this paragraph. Occasionally a guest reviewer seems tempted to want to post a "perfect put-down." I try to discourage that. Sometimes I may fail, and I suppose excessive negativity from my guest reviewers is my responsibility, since I sign my name to each issue of Celestial Reviews. On the other hand, I hasten to add that I think my reviewers do an excellent job almost all the time - except that they seem to shout for glee whenever they find an aureole where an areola should be. {Of course, that problem is more serious for preachers who put areolae where aureoles should be.} I want to conclude by pointing out that I get criticized far, far more often for writing reviews that are "too nice" than for being too negative. Also, please keep in mind that sometimes either I or a guest reviewer may be kidding when we make a critical comment. I apologize to those I have offended and hope I can do a better job of writing these reviews in the spirit in which they were intended. Second note: FOOD FOR THOUGHT: If a student in a sex education class becomes pregnant, should the teacher flunk her or give her extra credit? Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste "The Choice" by The SandMan (menage a quatre) 9, 9, 9 "Coming in Last" by Sven the Elder (romance at sea) 10, 10, 10 "Two on One" by Mark Aster (threesome) 10, 10, 10 "Jealousy" by Friar Dave (bestiality) 10, 10, 10 "Helen and I" by (romance) 10, 8, 8 "Mind Games" by Uther Pendragon (odd exhibitionism) 10, 10, 10 "Celestial Refuse" by Mat Twassel (humor) Guest Reviews: "Cyndi's Letter" by David L (exhibitionistic MFMF sex) 9, 7, 6.5 "John's Dilemmas" by Drifter (reformed nympho turns faithful swinger) 8, 8, 9 "The Facilitator" by MD James (sci fi sex) 8.5, 8.5, 8 "Norma's Wish" by S. Leigh Farmer (magic) 9, 8, 6 "Me & My Cop" by Teri S (sex witeh cop) 9, 10, 8 Reposted Reviews: * "A Summer Romance" by Jim Fix (emerging adolescence) 10, 10, 10 * "Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (ff seduction) 9.27A * "Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (emerging sexuality) 9.5, 10, 10 * "Journey to Carlin" by Remmelt de Haan (fantasy sex) 10, 10, 10 * "Kevin" by Friar Dave (emerging sexuality) 10, 10, 10 * = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been reposted) "The Choice" by The SandMan (sandman@bitsmart.com). The night the guy is going to pop the question to the woman of his dreams, she announces to him over a romantic dinner that "it's only fair that I tell you that I'm bisexual and in a relationship." Oh, well - ya win a few and you lose a few. Either that or adapt. Actually, Sandra is already in a menage a trois, and Dan has to learn to accept the whole package or take a menage a un in a cold shower. The hard part for Dan (as well as for many male readers) is that when a menage a trois becomes a menage a quatre, each person can team up for one-on-ones with three other partners, and only two of these pairings are heterosexual. {Of course, not all pairings are one-on-one.} This throws Dan for a loop; but after he confers with his local bartender, he decides to grin and bare it. And so Dan learns not only to accept but even to enjoy MM as well as MF sex. And they all live happily ever after. Aside from some minor punctuation problems, the main stylistic problem with this story is the misuse of homonyms - the use of wrong words that sound like the desired words, as "fair" for "fare" and "principals" for "principles." Ratings for "The Choice" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Coming in Last" by Sven the Elder (sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk). Nobody loves a loser. That's not quite true. When Sven the Younger comes in last in a boat race, Kate licks his wounds, if you know what I mean. Sven takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'. I'd have trouble doing this. When I'm in a boat, I hardly know leeward from windward, fore from aft, stem from stern, or my ass from a hole in the boat. I'm sure there are nautical terms for this naughty behavior. As I see it, this appears to be a nautical "tortoise and hare" story. The moral is, if you fuck around too much, you'll lose the race. Year after year after year, until someone gets suspicious. This was a very nice story! Ratings for "Coming in Last" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Jealousy" by Friar Dave (friar_dave@mhbbs.com). It's difficult for me to imagine a bestiality story that I might enjoy. It's also difficult for me to imagine a Friar Dave story that I might not enjoy. So I approached this story with what my old psych prof called an approach-avoidance conflict, I think. Friar Dave won. Friar Dave describes Inez as a beautiful, powerful argument for the colorblind miscegenation of her native Venezuela, with her ochre-highlighted hair, her glowing, swarthy complexion and her lush lips and big brown eyes. Inez develops a warm relationship with the narrator, but one without sex. He finds out why when he stumbles across a tape of Inez doing it with animals. It's really hot stuff, especially when they watch the old tapes together. This story is extremely well written. I especially like the way this author builds up the sexual tension with Inez by talking about his previous sexual relationships. Ratings for "Jealousy" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Helen and I" by the Panda (the_panda@hotmail.com). The narrator was deeply in love with his wife, but she was in an accident that has left her comatose. After several months of misery, her mother advises him that what he really needs to do is get laid. Enter Helen. At this point, I say to myself, if the narrator develops a deep and lasting relationship with Helen and then Maggie comes out of her coma, we'll have the basis of an American soap opera here. Actually, too many soaps have already used that plot. To be original the mother-in-law would have to step in and say, "Hey! I meant get laid by ME!" Back to Helen. Our narrator comes in his pants when he meets her in the parking lot. Literally. Which is fortunate, because that release enables Jim to last for more than 30 seconds when Helen greets him dressed in a sexy black negligee later that evening. That is, Helen is dressed in the negligee - English teachers have to be careful about how we say things like that. Anyway, they fuck like rabbits all night long and then go out to breakfast to learn something about each other. And so it goes. This started out as a very hot, darned good story. But then the author started going in too many directions - kinky stuff for the sake of kinky stuff. In the preceding story, Friar Dave both shocked and titilated me; this author seems to be trying too hard to accomplish a similar effect. The trick is to make it seem natural; and one important aspect of that is knowing when to stop bringing in new stuff. The story is not yet finished. I loved the first five chapters and then tolerated the next six. Which is where it ends right now. Ratings for "Helen and I" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 "Two on One" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). "Jake and Tanya have been fucking, and Jake has fallen asleep, while Tanya has continued to play with herself, when Our Hero rings the bell and enters the apartment. He promptly takes off his clothes and begins foreplay of his own with Tanya. "Mrmmph," says Jake, who wakes up and joins the fun. Hence the title. An interesting element of this story is that Our Hero is instructed to fondle Jake's cock while Tanya fondles his to orgasm. This sounds pretty sexy to me, but I'm sure some males will be turned off simply by my mention of this activity. My advice is, try it (the story, that is), you might like it. It gets kinda old to have me try to summarize in succinct but prosaic words what the author describes much more poetically. So I suggest you take a look at it yourself. Ratings for "Two on One" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Mind Games" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). This is one of those really good stories that I can't tell you anything about. The best I can do is give you a related anecdote. Back when my husband and I had been married for two years and I was heavily pregnant with our first daughter, we went to a wedding. I introduced him to two sweet, religious, elderly ladies who know me from long ago. One of them politely commented that it had been a lovely wedding. My husband replied, "Yes. I hope ours goes as well next month." The expression on the ladies' faces as they glanced at each other and tried to avoid my gravida stomach was priceless. This story is sort of like that, but with strangers on elevators. And with an unusual twist at the end. This would have been an excellent entry for my 500-word story contest, except that it has 802 words. The main problem with this story is the title. At the top of the title page, the title is "Friday." In the Postings, however, the title is "Mind Games." Since you'll never find it if you look under "Friday," I have chosen to label it "Mind Games" for this review. Don't do this with strangers - the part about sheep, that is. The elevator part is perfectly OK with strangers. It can enliven elevator rides. As well as what comes later. Ratings for "Mind Games" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Celestial Refuse" by Mat Twassel (humor). This is an excellent satire of Celestial Reviews. It requires no further introduction or comment. "Cyndi's Letter" by David L (dhl@elena.sysun.com). Guest review by Morgan Preece. Read the disclaimer for this one. David says he wrote this about ten years ago as a sort of "Penthouse Forum" type piece. He also apologizes for what is obvious; the use of a female POV by a male writer. He also explains that this is not a character development story, just a sex party. The disclaimer is a pretty good author-authored review of the story. But still, I guess I'm supposed to do my part. Well, the writing is competent, the voice of the narrator is consistent except when cliches I think of as "Forum-ese" creep in. A very hot skinny-dip party between four college students is described in colorful detail. Including an MFM scene that may have arrived too late in the story for me to really appreciate it. I guess that is my -- uh -- meanest -- comment about this. It failed to hold my interest. To be honest I skimmed large parts doing the old speed reading stunt around 400 wpm. Sorry, David. If you like exhibitionistic MFMF sex, check this out. Character development is not nil, the narrator finds out things about herself and her friends, but the story is basically one long sex scene. That's the genre, PF Letter, can't fault the author for sticking to genre conventions. It would be like complaining about the lack of cowboys in a hard-boiled detective tale. ATHENA: 9 {Genre conventions are respected but nothing outstanding is accomplished. The use of purple cliches annoyed me but it is part of this standard of writing.} VENUS: 7+ {Genre again. But this is the most important category to me so I graded tough. The plus is for effort, since I felt the author tried to put in more character} MORGAN: 6.5 (8?) {The second number is my estimate of the appeal to persons who favor this genre. Really, this is well written stuff of it's kind and if you like this kind of stuff then you will probably like this one.} "John's Dilemmas" by Drifter. Guest Review by DG. This story utilizes some of the most stereotypical, but powerful, fantasies that men and women have about relationships. John, the narrator, is a computer nerd with no social life who is about to graduate from college and take a high paying job. Sue is an 18-year-old vixen who loves cock, and runs around with the wrong sort of men. One night Sue's boyfriend and three of his buddies team up on her in a semi-consensual gang-bang, and then throw her out of the car in the middle of the street, saying that they are tired of her. John happens to be walking by, and he offers help and consolation. Sue soon realizes, naturally, that she would be much better off with a smart, sweet, kind guy like John than with her usual boyfriends, who she apparently picks up in biker bars and outside the parole office. There is just one problem: Sue isn't sure she can give up on sleeping around - she just craves cock too much. The first half of the story brings Sue and John together as a couple, and the second half deals with their decision to begin swinging. While swinging appeals to both of them, they each have their concerns. Sue is afraid that she will enjoy fucking around too much and will anger John, and John is bi- curious but afraid that if he sleeps with a guy Sue will think less of him as a man. I enjoyed this story quite a bit. It attempt to deals with issues such as relationships and swinging seriously, looking at both the positive and negative aspects. This has the effect of making the sex much hotter and more stimulating, because the reader knows that the characters have an emotional investment. However, the story is hampered by some heavy-handed plot twists and by truly stilted dialogue. For example, near the beginning of the story the author informs us that "John was a good guy, kind to people and animals." And I found the following plot twist a bit much: after John tells Sue a bit about his studies in computer science, the eighteen-year-old oversexed girl says "I'm fascinated by two things John. One is computer science and the other is sex. Since sex got me in such hot water I need to rethink that but I love computers." It seemed like whenever I started getting into the story, I would run across a line of dialogue so clunky that it ruined the mood. Usually it would be Sue, who says touching things like "My darling man... that could not happen. If I fucked a thousand guys, a thousand hunky studs, none of them could start to replace you." This author has a talent for creating realistic characters and situations. However, that is only half the battle. To write a truly good story, he will have to avoid unrealistic plot twists and to greatly improve his dialogue. I don't want to sound too negative, though: the bottom line is that this story is worth a read as it is. Ratings for "John's Dilemmas" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 8 DG (appeal to reviewer): 9 "The Facilitator" by MD James. Guest review by Jake Stonebender. All characters are adults and completely fictional. That means they don't exist in the real world! If you have a hard time understanding that, you shouldn't be on the Internet! You should be playing solitaire on Microsoft Bob instead. If Bob's even around anymore. :-) If he _is_, he wouldn't know _what_ to do with this story. By the time you're done reading this story, you will have no doubt in your mind that the characters are completely fictional, and I don't think I'm ruining the plot by revealing that this is because they are space aliens. One of them is, anyway... The first-person narrator of this story, whose 'type' we read quite easily through the way he phrases things, is a "facilitator"... someone whom people call when they want to set up dinner parties "...with delicacies that are illegal on fifteen planets or to have stuffed and mounted heads of exotic and endangered animals in their family rooms." That right there ought to tell you where this story is going. And it does so, with style, flair, and only the occasional typo. It seems to have become a slight tradition that the stories Celeste sends me to guest-review are the offbeat ones, and this is no exception. Our narrator tells us, this time out, of the desire of one of his "young prick" clients to experience sex with a Xena, a member of a cloistered, all-female race found on -- and confined by "TerraGov" to -- a plant in a nearby solar system. The facilitator tells us of his warnings to his customer about the Black Widow legends surrounding the inhabitants of Xena, but the client doesn't care; he's got, simply _got_ to fuck one them. "OK," says the facilitator, "but afterwards, you _have_ to wait a few hours." "Why?" "I can't tell you." The "young prick", of course, cannot control himself, and the results... well, let's say the results justify the warning he ignored. A pretty damned decent erotic science fiction piece is the result. Not exactly the _hottest_ story I've seen on the net lately, but not bad, and -- except for Anne747 -- most of us aren't grading on the wet-panty scale. (Love you, hon. :-) Check this one out, and perhaps you'll join me in waiting to see if the Facilitator has anything else up his sleeve. Writing one twist story like this is hard enough -- writing more in the same general fiction is 6 times as hard, but I suspect this author just might make it. (Administrivia: Celeste made comment over Christmas concerning the fact that her grades are getting higher. I grade harder; keep in mind that our grades may not be directly comparable.) Ratings for "The Facilitator" Athena (technical merit): 8.5 (couple of typos, and these annoyingly broken apostrophes all over the place) Venus (plot and character): 8.5 (a little more depth in the prick, please :-) Jake (appeal to reviewer): 8 (MKS he ain't, but not too bad.) "Norma's Wish" by S. Leigh Farmer (alias@pseudo.nym.org). Guest review by Sven the Elder. The writer of this story is working on the premise that in the run up to the millennia wishes *might* become true and that magic *might* be able to occur. In fact there is a useful paragraph of guidance that explains the thought process for anyone who might want to contribute to the genre. The writer also states that this is the only erotic story of the *set* that she is writing. Now my appetite was whetted. Sadly having finished the story my appetite remains unasuaged. The author terms the story as *erotic*; but this is not an adjective I would apply to this story. In fact I looked up the word in my Chambers 'maxi' paperback dictionary and erotic is defined as: pertaining to sexual love; amatory; amorous. These are not epithets I would readily apply to this piece The story explores the relationship of a man with his wife. How he returns from a day at the office in a celebratory mood, but then changes his mind and decides to go play poker with the boys. She then *persuades* him to make love to her before he goes.... How the story ends is for you to find out, I will not spoil it for those who like magical fantasy - but I *do* have difficulty in referring to the story ending as erotic. Not for the bloke it ain't!! Technically the writing and quality is good, although the plot and character are not well developed in the length of this tale. Unfortunately the plot for this type of fantasy does nothing for me this then is reflected in the final appeal to reviewer figure. This last figure is of course subjective and personal to this reviewer. Ratings for Norma's Wish Technical quality: 9 Plot & character: 8 Sven (appeal to reviewer): 6 "Me & My Cop" by Teri S (teri44@hotmail.com). Guest review by Kim. Yet another story to review, courtesy of She of the Execrable English (private joke, don't worry about it ). Hey, another new author wanting to be taken for the first time. I promise to be as gentle as I can, Teri; although it may hurt at first, I'm sure I can bring a smile to your face by the end. One hot, sultry August night our heroine, we never learn her name, awaits her boyfriend, also unnamed, who has just phoned to say he's got something to show her. Yeah, I bet he has . It turns out he's a cop and he wants to show her his... brand new patrol car??? Being an accommodating girl she pulls on a few clothes and goes for a cruise. They drive through town and on into the desert, finally stopping off down an empty back road away from the highway. Being romantic sorts, the pair of them climb into the back seat and... well I think we'll leave them there, don't you? I really, really liked this story. It was gentle, sweet, romantic and sexy. I have a few niggles, such as it being way, way too short. Dammit, I was getting into it and it stopped . My right hand had only made its way to the top of my panties when, alas the source of its inspiration pulled the plug. Please. Teri, write some more; you've left me kinda hangin' here! I'm also deeply jealous of our heroine's ability to have an orgasm on a per thrust basis. Poor girl must have been exhausted . But that's it for the bad news. It even has a surprise and agreeably amusing ending. In short I loved it; but, Teri, too damn short, darlin'. More of a sensuous kiss than a full orgasm. Ratings for "Me & my Cop" Athena (technical quality): 9 (Nearly perfect, no real complaints, maybe should get a 10) Venus (plot & character): 10 (For saying it was so short, it's remarkably well realized) Kim (appeal to reviewer): 8 (Add three or four more pages and it would've been a 10) * "A Summer Romance" by Jim Fix (jimfix@earthlink.net). This was actually posted as two separate stories: "A Summer Romance Part 1" and "Summer Romance Revisited." I shall review these as a single story, and I advise you to read both parts together. Paul (a bright student going into his sophomore year in high school) and his Mom have been living together since her messy divorce from his Dad two years ago. Paul and his mother have always showed mutual affection, but during a stay at some relatives' mountain cabin they realize that their attraction has a physical and sexual component. With his mature consent, Mom decides to treat Paul as a lover, and their life together becomes happier. They each contribute to the other's intellectual and personal growth, as well as to each other's sexual happiness. The second half of the story moves more rapidly than the first half. Life changes; Paul goes to college; Mom gets a new job; their love affair comes to an end; Mom remarries; and Paul falls in love. This is a very good story. I think society's general taboo against incest is reasonable; that is, it makes sense to have an initial reaction that incestuous relations should be avoided. In general, incestuous relationships are likely to be coercive and exploitive, even though the participants may be unaware that something bad is happening. Nevertheless, it also makes sense to consider the possibility that such relationships could be productive and growth-producing. This author has gone to great lengths to build a good story around a set of circumstances in which a mother/son sexual relationship is not only harmless but also beautiful. You can skip the rest of this review if moral reasoning doesn't interest you, but I am going to discuss morality for a few paragraphs. Religions generally condemn incest, and I (Celeste) am an active participant in the Catholic religion, whose leaders condemn incest. How do I reconcile these views? Why don't I either condemn incest or stop being a Catholic Christian? The answer lies in proportionalist moral reasoning, which says that when there is a conflict between moral outcomes or goals, decisions must be based on proportionate consequences. An action that might objectively be undesirable (immoral) is permitted only if it leads to benefits (called values) that outweigh its ill effects (called disvalues). The Catholic Church and other religions have used this kind of reasoning for centuries (for example, with regard to the "just war theory") but the Church leaders are not exactly progressive with regard to sexual morality. The main alternative to proportionalist reasoning in the Christian religions is natural law reasoning. Here's the difference. Assume that there is a soldier who has his army's secret plans in a pouch attached to his belt. When he is in danger of being caught, is it morally permissible for the soldier to ignite an explosive that will destroy the plans but also kill himself? Moral reasoning based on the natural law says yes - because the soldier would be destroying the plans directly and himself only indirectly. In other words, this is not really suicide. Proportionalist reasoning would also say yes - but because the value of saving the entire army outweighs the disvalue of the soldier killing himself. In other words, this is suicide, but it's justified. Changing the situation slightly, what if the soldier had memorized the plans instead of having them in a pouch? Can the soldier kill himself if he suspects that his captors will get the secrets from him? Natural law reasoning would say no - because he would be killing himself directly and destroying the secrets only indirectly. This would be suicide, and nothing can justify suicide. Proportionalist reasoning would still say yes - again because the value of saving the entire army outweighs the disvalue of the soldier killing himself. Again, this is suicide, but it's justified. My opinion is that the natural law conclusion is just plain goofy. This proportionalist reasoning is not all that complicated, and it makes perfect sense. Common sense tells me that it would be unfortunate for the soldier to be put in either situation, but I don't think he would be "sinning" in either case if he took his life to save his army. On the other hand, the soldier should consider other factors - such as how well he can withstand torture, the likelihood that the enemy will get the information from someone else, the actual value of the information, etc. All this information would enter into the soldier's moral reasoning to determine whether there is a proportional reason for taking his own life in either case. Applied to an issue like incest, proportionalism means that we should weigh the possible values to be gained from incest (such as the possibility of a mutually fulfilling relationship that is a natural extension of an existing spontaneous relationship and which would release two people's tensions while getting them ready for other relationships) against the disvalues associated with that action (such as restricting the child from more age-appropriate relationships, giving birth to children that are likely to have genetic defects, and societal retribution). In most cases in real life, the disvalues would far outweigh the values; but in this story the values outweigh the losses. This reasoning is different from the traditional, more legalistic approaches, which focuses on whether the action is natural or unnatural - prohibited by a rule or not prohibited; but this type of reasoning is neither excessively complex nor illogical. There is no reason to believe that Jesus would reject proportionalist reasoning. There IS reason to believe that in most cases in real life the disvalues will outweigh the values, and so society's general ban on incestuous activities makes sense - as long the taboo itself does not introduce more problems than it solves. In terms of moral reasoning, what this story has done has been to create a situation in which the values demonstrably outweigh the disvalues. My personal reasoning is also different from that of hedonism, which essentially says if it feels good and hurts nobody, go ahead and do it. Both hedonism and traditional religions offer valid insights into incestuous behavior; proportionalism offers another angle. So there! I hope this discussion makes as much sense to you as it does to me. I do NOT believe that it is necessary that every story describe purely moral behavior, but I do think it is good occasionally to discuss a story in its moral context. Ratings for "A Summer Romance" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (GQKZ45C@prodigy.com). Guest Review by M1KE Hunt: "Woman2Woman" is a fun read, zippy and straightforward, with few distractions to pull you away from the story of the seduction of one woman by another. Christine and Laura are sales reps at a computer show, and meet each other while standing on the floor for 10 hours fending off propositions from men. At one point in the shared cab ride back to the hotel, Christine, the narrator, asks ""Is getting laid the only reason these guys come here?" This is one of the few distractions, because the answer, obviously, is "yes." I've been to computer shows. The girls retreat to their hotel rooms, wherein Laura offers to give Christine a massage to relieve her stress. You'll be shocked to find out that they both end up nude, make gentle love with one another, and spend the next several days sneaking kisses in the employee lounge, squatting at the display to show each other their pussies, and generally having a lovely time. The plot is not complicated, and it's been done before, but then haven't they all? "Woman2Woman" suffers only from a half-dozen obvious editing errors, such as "positioning her bare legs on each side of my." My what? And there are words that the spell check thought were OK, but a quick proofreading would have caught, such as "spend" for "spent." OK, it's niggling, but if I didn't catch at least a couple of grammatical errors, I wouldn't be doing my job as a reviewer, right? I give "Woman2Woman" a "9.27A" rating on the open ended "Verschlumpt" scale, a logarithmic evaluation schedule I've designed based on plot, sexuality, spelling, taste, today's Dow Jones results and other logical factors such as whether it's Tuesday or not. * "Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (Reposted by who@why.not). Guest review by BillyG. I had a brief love affair once. The operative word is brief. We were both too strong willed and selfish to last, at least with each other. Her desires were bistable; she either wanted to get laid or she didn't. There was no middle ground. I'd get amorous and make a move. She'd most likely rebuff me with a comment such as, "You men are all alike. Is that all you think about?" And the answer was yes. That's all I thought about, besides how I might strangle her and then drop her into the bottomless swamp. Then something would throw the horny switch and she'd make a move on me. I NEVER resisted. Not once did I have a headache. I resented the fact that she could and often did say, "Nothin' doin' dude," while my response was always some variation of, "Sure, sure, you bet." The story "Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer depicts a similar nineteen-year-old boy, Danny who experiences a sexual awakening with his kid sister, eighteen- year-old Ellen. When Danny wants it, the chances are good that Ellen will freeze him out. But when she wants it, Danny doesn't have a chance. I know what that's like; I've been there. "Ellen" is a good story. The characters are human and more, they're real. They're both buffeted about by their desires and later, by their guilt. Danny's first person account tells of his intermittent resolve to NOT be sexual with his kid sister. She's sweet and innocent (he would rather believe) and he thinks of himself as single-minded ogre. There are a couple of very sexy scenes and a couple of pregnancy scares, all of which lend a heightened reality to this story. It's told as a short chapter in their lives, soon over and never to be repeated. The writer's name, Emerson Laken-Palmer sounds like a musical trio. It reminds me of mishearing the name of a popular duo some years ago. For a long time I thought the group was called "Haulin' Oats." Grades: 9.5, 10, 10 A half point off for a few spelling errors and a couple of minor grammatical goofs. * "Journey to Carlin" by Remmelt de Haan (zarn@rc.service.rug.nl). Guest review by Mark Aster. This is a nice, hot, tender story of sex between friends in the outdoors, set in a sort of generic pagan-medieval-dungeons-and-dragons fantasy world. The author's forward implies that this is just one episode in a longer story, or set of stories, not necessarily involving sex. There are a few references to characters and events that took place before the present story; while they are only passing references, and may annoy readers who like all their loose ends tied up, they add richness and a sense of context to the present story. Abigail and Ukko are on the way to Carlin, and they stop by a lake to rest the horses and eat and make camp for the night. Abigail strips and goes for a swim, and invites Ukko to join her. This is not just a story about two people fucking. The two are comrades and colleagues and friends, but have never made love before; the author gives us Ukko's point of view as he gradually realizes that she is interested in extending their relationship in that direction, and by the time they're screwing wildly on the blanket, 150 lines into the story, we've gotten to know them rather well. The author uses various stock devices of fantasy fiction (horses, crossbows, armor, names of deities), and adds some interesting sex language: orgasm is "joining the stars" or "leaving" (as opposed to "coming"!), sexual positions have names like "the Crane" and "the Faceless Unicorn", and simultaneous orgasm is a "Lover's Journey". Something like that, anyway. If you hate and despite generic fantasy fiction, this may bother you; if you love it, you'll love this. If you're not sure, give it a try; nice hot sex isn't a bad way to be introduced to a genre! I don't do numbers, but I'd guess that Celeste would give this straight 10's, unless she doesn't like quasi-medieval fantasy, in which case it might lose a point or so on the Celeste rating... Ratings for "Journey to Carlin" (Added by Celeste) Technical quality: 10 Plot and character: 10 Appeal to reviewer: 10 * "Kevin" by Friar Dave (friar.dave@teamhbbs.com). Kevin is a 16-year-old boy with raging hormones, who has the hots for the lady next door - along with anything else with breasts and a cute butt. His almost-twelve-year-old little sister asks him some questions about sex, and Kevin gives her a basic course in sex education: "Wow. So a guy sees a woman with big boobs -- like Mrs. Howley or Carol -- and he gets a boner, and then he sticks it in the girl's... place... and shoots his semen in her, and then she gets pregnant and has a baby." She seemed amazed. "Basically, but not all the time. She's got to be fertile. She has to be menstruating and at the right time of the month." Sari nodded emphatically. "Some of the girls in my glass have monthlies. That's what they call them. So they could get pregnant?" The best parts of the story arise from the conversations between the brother and sister. Pretty quickly Sari discovers that she has power over Kevin's penis, and soon they begin experimenting. They learn to like it and spend many pleasant hours together as they grow up. First, let me point out that this is a really good story. There are good reasons why society (and parents) balk at incest. There really are genetic problems that are vastly more likely to occur when brothers and sisters have babies together, and so incest taboos have their point. However, this story seemed more like healthy sexual experimentation rather than incestuous behavior. (I would have been happier if this well educated young man would have slid a condom onto his penis before he inserted it into his sister. Getting pregnant by your father or brother or close cousin is a really bad idea.) Secondly (and much less seriously), I have some concerns about the realism of Kevin's bobbing cock. I think I am an attractive woman, and I teach boys in Kevin's age group. I don't doubt that they make sexy remarks about me in private and that they may even jack off while they fantasize about me. But unless I've gone blind (perhaps from masturbating) they don't get raging hard- ons when I talk to them. Even if I assume that I have excessively grandiose opinions of my own beauty, I know other teachers and girls who are certainly attractive, and the guys (including most of the faculty) manage to engage in social intercourse with them without excessive perturbations in their loins. My husband (a veritable stud) is definitely capable of talking to attractive women without getting a hard-on. I asked him about this, and he assures me that this is because I "take such good care of him." (And he says he appreciates this service very much.) I asked him if when he was 16 he could talk to sexy teachers without going into heat. He said he could; but then he added that he didn't have me for a teacher! I guess my point is that we're engaging in a little bit of exaggeration in this story - and in many of the other a.s.s. stories. I think we need to keep that in mind when we consider a story like this to be "natural" and "beautiful." Finally, near the end of the story the author himself gives a good reason why big brothers should not have sex with their cute little sisters in real life: once you start having hot sex, it's hard to stop. And there's all kinds of evidence that little girls who spend their time humping little boys don't do as well in school or have adult lives and families that are as happy as those of their peers who approach sexual intimacy with a little more restraint. I'm not making this up; ask a social worker or school counselor. These are not objections to the story - just comments about its implications in real life. It's an excellent story. Ratings for "Kevin" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ |