Message-ID: <18200eli$9812230435@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: bitbard@bitbard.pair.com (BitBard) Subject: {ASS/D} Celestial Reviews #312 -- December 22, 1998 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Reply-To: bb@bitbard.pair.com Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <367fe307.145045934@relay1.pair.com> X-Is-Review: yes -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-= Celestial Reviews #312: December 22, 1998 =-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- I apologize for the delay in releasing this issue. A triple whammy of a new promotion (and the increased workload as a result), a death in the family, and of course the holidays conspired to delay this issue. --BitBard I'd like to welcome our new reviewers, Rosemerry and Phil to the CR and tell them that as "new people" they are required to do my Christmas shopping. (check the fine print in your Reviewer's Guide) To avoid confusion and the "double-doing" of tasks, we have decided that I will send out the story assignments and maintain the reviews and BitBard will be taking care putting the CR together. All reviews should be sent to me at review@missbehavin.pair.com. Hopefully this will end the confusion as to where things should be sent. Congratulations to Mr. & Mrs. Crimson Dragon on the safe arrival of their baby girl. -- Miss Behavin` -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-= Resource Links =-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- * ASSM -- Every story published to alt.sex.stories.moderated http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98 * ASSTR -- Alt.sex.stories text repository http://www.asstr-mirror.org * Free Story Site Index -- a guide to amateur erotica sites. http://annejet.pair.com/fs-faq.html * ASS FAQ - Frequently asked questions about alt.sex.stories http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17521.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-= Bulletin Board =-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * If you're an author who needs a proof reader CR send mail to proof@missbehavin.pair.com and we'll put you in touch with someone who can help you polish your masterpiece. * The CR is always looking for reviewers, if you like to read erotica and you have the ability to form an opinion, you're qualified. Drop us a line at I_wanna_be_a_reviewer@missbehavin.pair.com. * Subscribe to the Net Authors and Creators Union Mailing List: NACU-list-request@annejet.pair.com Subject: Subscribe * The CR's new email address is CR@bitbard.pair.com. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-= ~ Index ~ =-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ~ The Reviews ~ "Dream" by Mark Aster (dream sex) Morgan: 10, 9, 9 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17644.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417034536 "Teacher's Pet" by Sundance {Teacher/Student Romance} Apuleius: 10, 9, 9 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424517 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424479 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424488 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424507 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424531 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424494 "The Hots For A Hooker" by J Boswell {Sex with a hooker} Miles: 10, 10, 10 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17465.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17466.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17677.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=414434828 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=414434838 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417302909 "The French Maid" by Susan (French Maid Sex) Sven: 9, 9, 10 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17542.txt "It Happened" by JohnDoe (Experimental Sex) Miss B: 4, 4, 1 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417305410 --- http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17695.txt "Night Child" by QuantumLeap (Vampire Sex) Rosemerry 7, N/A, 7 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417305415 --- http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17696.txt "By The Sea" by W. Winds (Stranger Sex) Miss B: 9, 7, 7 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17539.txt "Laura In Green" by Shon Richards ( ) Miss B: 10, 9, 10 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17624.txt Snow Angels (A Saucy Wench Adventure, #4) by Saucy Wench ( ) Rosemerry: 5, 6, 5 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17538.txt "Fresh Produce" by Bernadette ( ) Miss Behavin`: 9, 9, 8 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17614.txt "Mall Strut" by Maria Gozales ( ) Sundance: 8, 8, 8 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17555.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17556.txt "Coming Home" by Little Devil ( ) Taltos: 10, 10, 10 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17619.txt "After A Long Hard Day At The Computer" by Hotscribe ( ) Phil: 7, 5, 3 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17581.txt "After Work" by Hotscribe (First Meeting) Miss B: 7, 4, 3 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17573.txt "At the Chateau" By Firmament {French Fuck} BitBard 7, 8, 8 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17645.txt "I Wish It Did" by Jan Williams ( ) Nick: 8, 6, 6 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=416451543 --- http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17585.txt "Pandora's Box" by Adhara Law (One Night Stand) Jean: 10, 8, 7 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17639.txt ~ Reposted Reviews ~ * "1997 Teen Blow Job Tournament" by Daphne Xu (oral sex) Celeste: 9.5, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=279912118 * "Stocking Filler" by Bronwen (Christmas magic) Celeste: 10, 10, 10 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17728.txt ~ On This Day In Celestial History ~ Celestial Reviews 1 - July 6, 1995 Compiled by: Apuleius (apuleius@poboxes.com) * "Bank" by Deirdre Celeste: 9 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346717760 * "Mother and Son" by Ann Douglas. Celeste: 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308955968 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308955963 * "Art Museum" by Trane and Wildfire Paradise. Celeste: 6.5 * "Amanda" by Grimalkin. Celeste: 2 * "Surprise" by Damya. Celeste: 5 * "AdventureLand" by Sue. Celeste: 8 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358921882 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-= ~ The Reviews ~ =-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Dream" By Mark Aster Email: MyFrThAl@aol.com Web: http://users.aol.com/myfrthal/ Review by: Morgan Preece This is a lovely little sequence with autoerotic, homoerotic and heterosexual imagery. I think its only real fault is it wasn't really long enough. I enjoyed it. It stars Julie, who I believe is one of Mark Aster's long running characters, and this adds to the story because I remembered other stories with Julie in them as I read it. One of the advantages of having a stable of characters to play with. I found four typos and at least one awkward construction. A minimum of technical problems in other words, although one of the typos would have been caught by a spell checker. There isn't a lot of character development but enough for the length of the story and wattaya want, it's a dream. I've liked some of Mark's stories a lot more than I like this one but then even Sammy Sosa doesn't hit one out of the park every day. Ratings for "Dream" ~> Pandora (Story Codes/genre): F / autoerotic I hate giving codes to my stories, you can imagine how much I hate giving them to other peoples stories. Fortunately, Mark coded this one. Genre? Ok, I'll define Mark's stories as a genre, how's that? ~> Athena (technical quality): 10 Minor typos. ~> Venus (plot & character): 9 Plot? Not required. ~> Morgan (appeal to reviewer): 9 Not long enough, Mark. ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17644.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Teacher's Pet" by Sundance (sundance69@hotmail.com) Email: sundance69@hotmail.com Web: http://extra.newsguy.com/~suntales Review by Apuleius (apuleius@poboxes.com) The opening quote from this story - "Push!... CMON!...PUSH!!!!," suggests an event that should be far more commonly described in a.s.s. stories, considering the wealth of procreational activities described therein. But I digress. The real recipient of these orders is one Kenton Darian, involved in the far more mundane activity of weightlifting, and encouraged in his efforts by a personal trainer. Kent was making large amounts of money as a securities trader, but became disillusioned with the competitive work environment and the toll taken on his health. He therefore decided to give up his job and become, of all things, a teacher. His first appointment is at Canyon High School, teaching algebra to seniors while their normal teacher is away. In his class are Jenna and Emily, two supposed friends with completely different personalities. While Jenna is a flirt, wearing revealing outfits and dating rich-but-dumb boys, Emily keeps to herself and is outwardly not interested in anything but school and her great love, photography. This ambitious (230K) story concerns how the lives of these characters become intertwined. In any longer story, the challenge for the author is to maintain the reader's interest, while ensuring that the plot proceeds in a believable way. Sundance fully succeeds with the first requirement, and almost succeeds with the second. While the plot structure is generally convincing, there are one or two threads which seem to remain undeveloped, and a few examples of inconsistent character depiction, particularly of Emily. There is very little evidence provided of a friendship between Jenna and Emily beyond the statement of the fact. Occasionally the dialogue could do with some work; it is generally effective but sometimes leaves one with the impression that one is reading a sitcom script: >"But where do you get off being the wise one? I'm the teacher and you're the >student, remember?" > >"Oh, you're the teacher alright. And what a teacher you are." >They both laughed. Moments like these can seem jarring in what is predominantly a serious, emotional story. Technical quality is very good, the only slips being infrequent lapses in spelling. These, however, are minor concerns in what is overall an above-average, highly accomplished story. There are moments of real tenderness and concern between Kent and Emily, and the account of their relationship is far from the typical sleazy teacher/student material found in ASS/M (and suggested, unfortunately, by this story's title). Their difference in age (17 vs. 35) does provide a possible squick factor. One thing that particularly impressed me about this story was the superbly described sex scenes. Sundance's prose, particularly in romantic encounters, becomes rich, opulent, and very effective. It is clearly something the author has taken great care with. This aspect alone would endear this story to a great many newsgroup readers, yet these scenes occur (for the most part) within the context of a proper plot, opening the story to even more serious consideration. This is a very good story, and a highly rewarding and enjoyable read. Invoking my own erotic muses: ~> Pandora (story codes/genre): mf Mf (late teen) rom / Vanilla ~> Dr. Johnson (technical quality): 10 ~> Scheherazade (plot and character development): 9 ~> Apuleius (appeal to reviewer): 9 ~> Links http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424517 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424479 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424488 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424507 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424531 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424494 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "The Hots For A Hooker" by J Boswell Email: J.BOSWELL@usa.net Reviewed by: Miles Naismith J Boswell, a specialist in wife stories, is an author who stands out from the crowd. His scenarios remain in the reader's head long after those of lesser lights have faded away. Others are good at this, but he is a master. Naturally, I was anxious to read the first new Boswell story I had seen in at least a year and a half, but he threw me a curve. Well into the story, there wasn't a wife in sight in the action. Assuming he was breaking new ground, I persevered. I was rewarded. Sent out of town to train employees for a new restaurant his company is opening, an executive is feeling sorry for himself because he's so far from wife and home. A prostitute mixes up the digits in her John's hotel room number and interrupts his bout of self-pity. She strikes a chord with his sensibilities, and soon she is giving this heretofore faithful husband a localized massage at the usual rates. He finds himself deeply attracted to the prostitute, and most of the story tells of his observation of her as she plies her trade in the hotel lounge and the personal interludes they share during the two weeks he is there. The sex builds to a bachelor party gangbang, followed by a very neat plot twist that changes the reader's entire focus on the story. As in the past, Boswell writes with style and assurance. His plotting is masterful and his characters are good. And, as in the past, once the reader accepts the initial premises of the story, Boswell works hard to maintain believability. The result is another excellent story. I thought that the story was longer than it needed to be and that Boswell could have cut the timeline to a week without hurting the believability or quality of the story. But he didn't, and I liked it anyway. Is this the best J Boswell story? Not for me - I liked several of his earlier ones better, including my personal favorite, Forever Faithful. Is this a top flight story anyway? You bet. I have recommended it to BitBard and Miss Behavin for consideration in the monthly top twenty. If you like this story, you might want to know that Boswell's other stories are archived in the Old Joe Collection at ASSTR: (Please note that the Pandora codes below are not complete in order not to give away the plot twists.) ~> Pandora (story code/genre) MF, MM+F / Group ~> Athena (technical & grammar) 10 ~> Venus (plot & character) 10 ~> Miles Naismith (appeal to reviewer) 10 ~> Links http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17465.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17466.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17677.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "The French Maid" by Susan Email: Susan12346@Hotmail.com Review by Sven the Elder, who may be contacted at Sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk I have been asked to review parts 1-4, in fact the series is now up to part 11. In the story preamble to part one the author sets the scene thus: 'I had applied for the job at the hotel several days before. It was a hotel in the countryside, and catered for businessmen. The interview told me that I had to be broad minded and ready to handle most situations on my own. For that I would receive a much higher then usual wage plus tips, what the customers gave me, and a percentage of what was left at the main desk. It sounded too good to be true, but I took the job, wondering what was really involved.' We find out soon enough that Susan's uniform is indeed that of a 'French Maid' and from then on in the fun starts. And what fun. This is light and frothy, it's enjoyable 'stroke fiction' capably and well written. The author writes carefully and chooses her words - in her introduction to the series she writes: "This does not contain commonly used words that so many of these stories seem to. I'm sorry but words like that doesn't turn any of the girls I know on, and none of our boyfriends would think of using such words in our company. So if you are looking for that, keep looking please." Susan succeeds in well in her objectives. I have read them all so far and enjoyed them all. She apologises for the spelling and other mistakes in the earliest of her postings, and her proof reader now does an excellent job of work. These stories are not 'deep, with hidden meaning', but they are sexy and very entertaining. They are simply very erotic scenarios in an upmarket bordello, ranging from straightforward M/F, M/FF, MM/F, MM/FF and onwards in an combination you care to work out. All the scenarios's are skilfully dealt with and imagination's are not overstretched as to the 'credulity' of either the setting or the act. Download, read and enjoy them - you will not be disappointed. Ratings - I was much taken by the *new* ratings offered recently by Lord Schon. I am sure he will not mind my 'stealing' them Will I save this story and send it to my friends? Yes Will I look for other stories by this author? Yes Did this story make want to stop reading and fulfil a procreative urge? Yes But I will also, for the sake of convention, use the more normal ones: Ratings for "The French Maid" ~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): M/F, M/FF, MM/F, MM/FF / Group ~> Athena (technical quality): 9 ~> Venus (plot & character): 9 ~> Sven (appeal to reviewer): 10 ~> Links http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17542.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= It Happened by JohnDoe Email: johndoe1999@my-dejanews.com Reviewed by: Miss Behavin` (missbehavin@missbehavin.pair.com) See Jane at work -- anticipating 4:00. See John who is not Jane's husband. See Jane go to John's house after work. See Miss B confused at whose point of view it is now. See Jane surf the Net. See John go under the desk. See Jane cum. See John think it's time they try something new. "Surprise Jane." See Jane "recognize anal sex foreplay." See Miss B wonder if John and Jane know about spell-check. See Jane think: only my husband has been "there." See John use an economy size tub of KY on Jane's ass. See Jane -- nervous, scared and in pain but amazingly comfortable. See John go very slowly -- fingers first and penis later. See Jane think about how much pain she is in. See John "throw on more KY." See Miss B fall on the floor laughing. See Jane becoming comfortable with it, yet still in pain. See John think "too tight -- too much friction" and drive into Jane's ass. See Jane hit the floor. See John "explode in a huge orgasm." See Jane masturbate herself to one and credit the anal sex for it. See Miss B use the story as a coaster for her coffee. Ratings for "It Happened" ~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): M/F, Anal, Cheat ~> Athena (technical quality): 4 ~> Venus (plot & character): 4 ~> Miss Behavin` (appeal): 1 ~> Links: http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417305410 --- http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17695.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Night Child" by QuantumLeap Email: quantumleap01@hotmail.com Reviewed by: Rosemerry I didn't really review this as a story because it wasn't one; it was more like a dream sequence or a prose poem. It was a very lyrical, sweetly written short piece about a vampire's meeting with his victim. For this piece, first and second person worked very well. I did find it a bit hard to get into at first, because there wasn't any idea of where we were. It's all right to leave out the details, but in something as dreamlike and poetic as this, some lyrical descriptions of surroundings would have enhanced it. Despite that, I was carried along as the action progressed. It was a beautiful dream sequence, sex or no sex. After all, in certain areas of the vampire mythos, that *is* sex. Read and enjoy! Ratings for "Night Child" ~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): Vampire, No Sex ~> Athena (technical quality): 7 ~> Venus(plot & character): N/A ~> Rosemerry (appeal): 7 ~> Links: http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417305415 --- http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17696.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "By the Sea" by W. Winds Reviewed by: Miss Behavin`(missbehavin@missbehavin.pair.com) It was a typical Saturday afternoons walk along a remote beach, looking for seashells and basically enjoying the day. The shells are soon forgotten as is everything else when the woman he's been watching is suddenly on her hands and knees not far from him and her naked ass is inviting him over. This short story is a light read, contains some fairly good imagery, a little dirty talk and some mild erotic images. Ratings for "By The Sea" ~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): M/F Exhib Cons ~> Athena (technical quality): 9 ~> Venus (plot & character): 7 ~> Miss Behavin` (appeal): 7 ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17539.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Laura In Green" by Shon Richards Email: lordshon@aol.com Review by: Miss Behavin` After reading this story, I sat back to think about how to review it with the story's strong imagery sweeping through my mind. Shon Richards weaves a short tail about two people that meet at an outdoor dance. Laura enters and the world stops for a second -- it's almost like Cinderella entering the ball. He (I didn't catch his name) asks her to dance and as they fall into a series of quotes, each trying to stump the other. One of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes: "We are all lying in the gutter, but we are all looking to the stars," is used and I'm hooked. This is a well-written story that flows extremely well. I wish that the author had taken more time to define the characters as it could only enhance the story more. The sex is beautifully written and erotic but it was rushed as one moment they were dancing vertically and the next horizontally. Even with that, it's a beautiful story for those of us who are drawn to romance and if that's what you're looking for then you'll enjoy this story. Ratings for "Laura in Green" ~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): M/F Rom ~> Athena (technical quality): 10 ~> Venus (plot & character): 9 ~> Miss Behavin` (appeal): 10 ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17624.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Snow Angels (A Saucy Wench Adventure, #4)by Saucy Wench Email: WenchSaucy@aol.com Web: http://sexxites.com/SaucyWench/ Reviewed by: Rosemerry This story struck me as about medium well written, although with as much snow nakedness as there was, it perhaps should have been "block of ice"! It certainly made me shiver. It's a little romp about two youngish ladies who find themselves naked in the snow and their quest for help, and the sex that eventually results. The opening suffered from the difficulties that so many first-person stories do, in that it was very hard to tell the gender, appearance, age or personality of the speaker until well into the tale. In a conventionally written story, the opening paragraphs, stretched at most to two or three, have certain functions to perform. They give you some idea about the setting, whether we're in 13th century France or present day (which this opening showed us very well). They also give you some interest in the main character, not necessarily their entire appearance, but some idea of who they are (in this story, the main character didn't appear at all till late in the second paragraph). And they give you a hook to the story, something that makes you want to read on (this one was pure description). However, it was very good description. The lyrical phrases about the cabin really made me want to be there! It was an ideal setting. A suggestion: the thing that would have provided both a look into the main character and created a hook to keep the story interesting was the concept that they'd made love once, but now were just friends. The sexual tension there would have been great in the first paragraph. I also found that the story went on too long about the difficulties of finding help while naked in the snow. After all that, the sex was perfunctory, sort of getting it out of the way. It seemed to me that the story was really interested in wandering naked and helpless in the snow, which is fine in and of itself. Perhaps too much artistic liberty was taken; I mean, I don't think *anyone* would endanger their lives by trudging to the neighbors' house in wet socks and naked in the snow, rather than heave a rock through the window. That distracted me from the story. The initial descriptions of two naked ladies playing and romping in the cold were very nice. They were arousing without being depressing, gave us a sense of innocence and sexiness. The descriptions were very well written, too. I also loved the headers to the different sections of the story; they gave it a certain sassy charm and added to the overall appeal. All in all, with some revisions, this could be a good story. Ratings for "Snow Angels" ~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): FF Exhibition Snow ~> Athena (technical quality): 5 ~> Venus (plot & character): 6 ~> Rosemerry (appeal): ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17538.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Fresh Produce" by Bernadette Email: bybernadette@my-dejanews.com Reviewed by: Miss Behavin` Just when you think that grocery shopping has hit an all time low you end up lying on the floor in a pool of chocolate milk, looking up into the eyes of your knight in shining armor. Does life get any better than this? I enjoyed this story -- it's full of bad cliches and some very interesting euphemisms. It's fast paced and if nothing else it'll make you hungry. The characters are very likeable and when they take a detour into the storage room you just might want to drop that box of Twinkies you've been fighting with your conscious over and follow them. I do have to say that after reading "Lick me like the middle of an Oreo," I'll probably never be able to look at an Oreo Cookie the same way again. This story is all in good fun and probably bad taste. If you're looking for something light and fluffy then may I recommend the "Flesh Produce?" Ratings for "Fresh Produce" ~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): M/F Parody oral ~> Athena (technical quality): 9 ~> Venus (plot & character): 9 ~> Miss Behavin` (appeal): 8 ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17614.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Mall Strut" by Maria Gozales Email: Maria1971@aol.com Reviewed by: Sundance Maria has found herself in a bit of a quandary. She was sure she had a firm grasp on the odds of a basketball game; so sure in fact that she made a bet with her husband Chuck that she could predict the outcome. She was so confident of her pending victory that she agreed to a bounty where the loser would do whatever the winner wanted for an entire day. She had big plans for Chuck's losing proposition, documented in a list of honey do's that would keep him plenty busy. But something went wrong. Not only did her team lose, but she also forgot to ask Chuck how she would be spending her day in the off chance she lost. As luck would have it, Chuck was more creative than Maria when deciding on his wife's assignment. Her day was to begin by dawning a pair of 'fuck me' black pumps, a thigh-high mini-skirt, a tiny lace thong, and a flimsy white silk blouse. She was then to proceed to the nearest mall and 'strut her stuff' for admiring shoppers. This story opens with Maria making that strut, wrestling with conflicting feelings ranging from a sense of embarrassed exposure to unexpected delight in displaying her wares for admiring eyes, including those belonging to three strapping young males following her on her walk. We move along with Maria as she makes her way towards the food court where she sees Chuck waiting patiently at a table. As she approaches, Chuck exits quickly, leaving behind an envelope with Maria's name on it directing her to retreat to the ladies room before opening and reading instructions describing what she was to do next. She obeys, disappearing into the lounge area of the women's restroom. Making herself comfortable, she opens the envelope containing instructions for the remainder of her day. Gasp! While you'll have to read the story to find out what Chuck wants now, it's safe to say he's pushing the envelope of his wife's erotic fantasies. Without giving away the whole plot, Maria's mall escapade leads her through a variety of steamy situations, including a little girl / girl action. There is also a reuniting with the strapping young bucks that were originally following her. They end up treating her to an afternoon of steamy group sex beginning in the backseat of a moving convertible, followed by some quality time handcuffed and blindfolded, concluding with a bit of exotic show and grope dancing. I enjoyed this story on several fronts. I liked the idea of the daring bet between the wife and the husband. The fact that she struggled initially with her emotions, including her sense of embarrassment and exposure as she walked the mall dressed in such revealing attire contributed a sense of realism to the story. The author's descriptions of the main character's thoughts went beyond just arousal, including the progressive sexual awakening and self-awareness she was experienced moving from one dare to the next. Last, and definitely not least, the sex was hot! The plot was a bit of a stretch at times and a little too convenient, although it did provide a consistent flow to the story. Also there were a number of technical problems, but nothing hugely distracting. Problems such as these are to be expected in a writer's first effort and are likely to improve with practice. I applaud this first attempt and hope to see more stories in the future from this author. Now I'm off to the mall. Maybe Maria will be shopping today… :-) "Ratings for "Mall Strut" ~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) Exhib, MMMF, FF, wife, light bondage ~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 8 ~> Venus (Plot and Character) 8 ~> Sundance (Appeal) 8 ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17555.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17556.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Coming Home" by Little Devil Email: little_devil@angelfire.com Reviewed by: Taltos Nick's day starts with his car breaking down and a bus ride to the airport. The only thing to get him through is the thought of seeing Claire again. She has been away for a month on business in Spain. The two are reunited and settle back on the bus for the trip home. On the bus, Nick decides to explore the body he has missed so much, made easier by the fact Claire is wearing track pants. They finally arrive home and have their much-awaited reunion. This was a well-written story and I enjoyed it immensely. It's humorous, romantic and very erotic. There is more than just sex here and this story seems to have it all. I will try and sit patiently waiting for the next installment of this beautiful story. "Ratings for "Coming Home" ~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF, public, oral, mast ~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 10 ~> Venus (Plot and Character) 10 ~> Taltos(Appeal to Reviewer) 10 ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17619.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "After A Long Hard Day At The Computer" by Hotscribe Email: mikaal@hotmail.com Reviewed by: Phil The man distracts the woman from her computer screen and they quickly progress to sex, running through most of the usual activities in a few paragraphs. This is one of the most common erotic scenarios nowadays, and although the description is vivid in places there is nothing novel, intriguing or surprising in this story. Cliches intrude (not an easy thing to avoid, I know), and, worse, some basic spelling errors. The best I can say about this story is that there is nothing much to object to in it, but, alas, nothing much to remember either. "Ratings for "After A Long Hard Day At The Computer" ~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF Romance ~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 7 ~> Venus (Plot and Character) 5 ~> Phil (Appeal to Reviewer) 3 ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17581.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "After Work" by Hotscribe Email: mikaal@hotmail.com Reviewed by: Miss Behavin` A man and a woman meet for the first time after sharing a few e-mails back and forth. Both are slightly nervous and break the ice by talking for a few moments. Seconds later they are at the hotel where he works and go into a back room where he takes her to heights she hasn't experienced in a long time. This story, like all of the others that I've read from this author are all the same -- short and unfulfilling. There is very little character depth and no real plot. The sex is visual and just when you start shifting around in your chair -- it ends! I honestly think that given some work these stories could be very good. The imagery is there in pieces and the writing shows promise. Maybe if the author concentrated on quality and not quantity we'd see the kind of story that makes us want to read more. "Ratings for "After Work" ~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF Cons Oral ~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 7 ~> Venus (Plot and Character) 4 ~> Miss Behavin` (Appeal) 3 ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17573.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "At the Chateau" By Firmament Email: firmament32@hotmail.com Reviewer: BitBard (bitbard@bitbard.pair.com) This is a simple little scene. A man and woman meet in a small French town, they flirt, she invites him back to her place, then they fuck. There are a few problems with this story. The biggest is a tense change from past to present tense in the middle of the story where the sex begins. The sex is hot but the poor story formatting, tense change combine to make a fairly hot sex scene merely average. ~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF / Vanilla ~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 7 ~> Venus (Plot and Character) 8 ~> BitBard (Appeal) 8 ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17645.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "I Wish It Did" by Jan Williams E-mail janwill89@hotmail.com Review by Nick (nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk) This is a story, which goes into detail about a woman's experience in having straight sex. There is nothing more than that really. The title "I Wish it Did" is a bit of a puzzle for me though. What does she wish what did? This makes me think that the story is not complete. I'd like to see the rest of it, then I might give it higher marks, but for the moment it is just a very short piece of stroke, and there really isn't much to say about it. Pandora: MF / stroke Athena (Technique): 8 Venus (Plot/Character): 6 Nick (Appeal): 6 Link: http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=416451543 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Pandora's Box" by "Adhara Law" Email: eros_dreams@hotmail.com Reviewer: Jean (jw.revu@quihye.demon.co.uk) Reviewing stories is a subjective thing; a bit like lists of 'the 20 sexiest women'. I came across such a list recently, in a film magazine, and was surprised by the content, to the extent that I wondered what the compiler must have been smoking. Some of the women were good actresses, some were attractive, some both, but none would I have described as sexy. Such lists often include Demi Moore today, Kathleen Turner yesterday, Faye Dunaway and Catherine Deneuve before, all attractive, all good actresses, but sexy? Give me Lauren Bacall, Isobelle Adjani, Sharon Stone - they come across as if they'd rip your clothes off as soon as look at you. I'm afraid this story was a bit of a Catherine Deneuve; classy, attractive, technically very good, but... missing something. Don't let me put you off reading it - the idea at its core is well handled, there's nothing wrong with the grammar (confusion between purposely and purposefully jarred me a bit but that's real nit-picking), and it's concise. But... ~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) FM / One night stand ~> Technical & Grammar 10 ~> Plot and Character 8 ~> Jean (Appeal to Reviewer) 7 ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17639.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-= ~ Reposted Reviews ~ =-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * "1997 Teen Blow Job Tournament" by Daphne Xu Email: daphne@nym.alias.net This is another submission to Malinov's spam contest. They don't have spam or blowjobs in China - at least "Shuming Zhao was naïve about these things when she came to college in the United States to study computer science. The sexual descriptions are a combination of the extremely explicit and the completely impersonal. People don't really have sex this way - at least not very often - not even those ubiquitous Asian teenagers who come to the United States to learn about computers and sex. Ratings for "1997 Teen Blow Job Tournament" ~> Athena (technical quality): 9.5 ~> Venus (plot & character): 10 ~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 ~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17812.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Stocking Filler" by Bronwen Email: bronwen@anon.nymserver.com Web: http://www.hootisland.com/bronwen The husband has promised to get the best Santa costume ever. The wife has skipped midnight mass and has sexed herself up to give Santa the ride of his life. The rest of the plot is easy to guess: the wife will fuck the brains out of the wrong person. Right? 'Tis a simple plot, but Bronwen will make it interesting. Right? Well, close - but way off! This is an extremely imaginative, highly sexy, magical, just plain erotic story of Christmas sex. I'm not even going to try to summarize it any further. If you're interested in Christmas or sex or pagan gods or anything in between or all of the above, you'll love this story! ~> Ratings for "Stocking Filler" ~> Athena (technical quality): 10 ~> Venus (plot & character): 10 ~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 ~> Links http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17728.txt -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-= ~ On This Day in Celestial History ~ =-= =-= Celestial Reviews 1 - July 6, 1995 =-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- * "Bank" by Deirdre. My word processor tells me that this story was only 830 words long, but with those few words the author did a really nice job of creating a mood. What's best about the story is that Deirdre shows excellent restraint: she creates a mood and tells us this story without going overboard and trying to make more of the incident than there really was to it. Other writers would be tempted to work in some four-letter words and at least a couple of orgasms and to follow the formula for a good sex story; but Deirdre just relates this anecdote in a way that made me think of comparable things that had happened to me during my own early adolescence. ~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 9 ~> Links http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346717760 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * "Mother and Son" by Ann Douglas. Perhaps its my background as an educator, but I'm normally repulsed by stories about incest. The basic problem is that once you set aside the fantasy, in real life the adult is almost always engaging in some sort of gratification at the expense of someone he or she should be caring for. We get upset at the clergy and teachers who molest children, but then we're supposed to consider it to be titillating when we read a story about mom teaching her son "what it's like to be a man." That's how I usually react, but this story surprised me. It's about a mother who comes home early and sees her son getting head from a boy whom she doesn't know. She tries to respect his privacy, but she becomes aware that the son is likely to take the plunge into a homosexual lifestyle that may not be appropriate for him. As the only reasonable solution she can think of, the mother herself engages in loving sex with her son. The story ends with... no - you'll have to find that out for yourself. What won me over was the objective, non-moralizing aspects of the story. The author wasn't suggesting that every mother should screw her son; but she showed that this was an unusual situation. Nor was she suggesting that it would be awful if her son would adopt a homosexual lifestyle. The mother just didn't want her son to make that choice without thinking about the alternatives. The story reminded me of the movie Summer of 42, in which a wife loses her husband in the War and then makes tender love to a neighbor boy. When we saw that movie, my husband and I discussed the ethics of an older woman seducing a younger boy - when the boy obviously loved ever second of it. We eventually decided it was just a pretty good movie and that we didn't need to pass moral judgment on it. This was just a pretty good story. ~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 10 ~> Links http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308955968 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308955963 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * "Art Museum" by Trane and Wildfire Paradise. The interesting thing about this story is that it was coauthored by two people over the Throbnet BBS. As near as I can figure, the two authors have never actually met in person. The story's format consists of several reciprocal e-mail transmissions among the authors, in which each message builds upon the story as it has been set up by the preceding message. In these messages the authors evolve a story about two people making love in a limousine on a ferry boat on the way home from the Seattle Art Museum. At times the authors seem to want to coordinate their efforts; and at other times they seem determined to throw a curve ball to the other by changing the situation abruptly to see what the other will do next. It's an interesting format, and it results in a sexy story. On the negative side, I think the authors followed the sex story formulas a little too closely - getting in one and only one of every position and every term for a pussy or cock. In addition, although I liked the give-and-take atmosphere, it would have been possible to do some editing at the end of the joint project to coordinate things just a little better. Finally, if they're going to call the story "Art Museum" instead of "Ferry Ride," it would have been nice to bring art into the story a little more. All in all, however, this was a pretty good story. (Rating 6.5). ~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 6.5 ~> Links http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=327409393 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=327409409 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * "Amanda" by Grimalkin. (This is one of a series of stories being reposted by THC Adult Text Archive under the title AMANDA.TXT.) As an English teacher, I sometimes feel self-conscious when I criticize a story for bad punctuation and grammar. It should be the idea that counts; not the formatting. But if a writer is going to formally publish something, he or she should make it easy on the reader. I realize that the Internet is not the most formal medium of publication, but if it's worth someone else's time to read a story, then it should be worth taking the time to clean it up or have someone else do so before publication. If bad grammar makes a point, then it's OK. So, I have to ask myself, is there some benefit in the apparent illiterate writing style of this author? The story is about a female friend (an attendant, I think), who is in the room with Amanda, an actress who has given her opening performance and is waiting for the first reviews to appear in the early editions of the newspapers. While they're waiting, the unnamed friend jacks Amanda off. Then the reviews arrive, and they are good. That's the whole story. Is the friend supposed to be an unschooled but loving companion who "just don't talk to good"? If so, this is never stated or even clearly implied. Or is this story the first written expression of an inarticulate but loving person? If so, it deserves some respect. Or does the writer just not give a damn? I'm afraid this is the most likely explanation. As a story, it's really pretty bland - just formulistic lesbian love. Big whoop! ~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 2 ~> Links (lost) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * "Surprise" by Damya. I never used to get high on the idea of watching my husband fuck somebody else, nor did I like the idea of doing it while he watched. But we talked it over several years ago, and we agreed that it would actually be stimulating to watch the other make it with someone else - as long as the possibility of disease could be avoided (which, of course, is possible, in imaginary worlds). It would be stimulating for us, but impossible in reality, since we see so much value in our monogamous relationship. (To me, the fact that I share this wonderful experience with my husband and with him alone makes it by definition impossible to invite another party into the relationship.) So we've settled for an active fantasy life, where he sometimes talks to me about what he'd like to do to a woman in a movie or on the street, and I do the same for him. Now back to the story - I guess I'm making the point that I see problems inherent in the plot; but if I weren't so fortunate as to have this really great bargain relationship, I have to admit that the basic idea behind this plot sounds good. There are lots of good spouse watching stories, but this one doesn't quite make it for me. The author says she's writing it for her boyfriend; and it might have served that purpose really well. If so, I hope they get their bang for their buck. But there are better wife watching stories this one. The reasons to read this story are (1) to find enjoyment in hearing about an interesting situation or (2) to get really turned on while reading it. I don't think either outcome is really all that likely. On the other hand, the story is not awful either. It just somehow failed to give me as a woman the vicarious experience of driving my husband into sexual heaven by letting him watch me do exciting things to someone else. I hope Damya herself had better luck. ~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 5 ~> Links (lost) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * "AdventureLand" by Sue. I love theme parks. Disney World in Orlando is an especially romantic place. In this story, a woman manages to get into the Pirates of the Caribbean attraction after everyone else has left it. She masturbates and engages in sexual fantasies with the characters. The punch line is that one of the characters turns out to be the college kid who runs the attraction, and he fucks her and slips away before she realizes that he wasn't part of her imagination. I liked the story a lot. I'm sure there are religious people somewhere who would be repulsed at the thought of a Disney employee taking advantage of an innocent customer; but what the hell - this story takes place in an atmosphere in which the "legitimate" fantasy consists of fun-loving pirates looting villages and gleefully carrying off the female prisoners. When I've taken my kids on that ride, I've often mentally noted that in real life the pirates would have had their sexual jollies with the women they were chasing. Being captured and raped by a pirate probably wasn't as much fun as Disney suggests. In real life Disney employees who have sex with customers who are masturbating with the characters should be fired; just as pirates who rape and pillage should normally be hanged after a fair trial. It was fun to read a story in which a modern pirate took advantage of a damsel. On the downside, you really do have to stretch your imagination to buy into the story. But overall, it was just good clean fun. (Rating: 8). ~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 8 ~> Links http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358921882 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-= Writer's Block =-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Net Authors and Creators Union News by NACU News by Joyce E. Melton There has been some discussion on the NACU mailing list of a model header to be used on adult stories posted to ASS* or displayed on personal web pages. While there have been a number of good models put forth, I went ahead and wrote a, perhaps, over-complete example. :) Feel free to comment to me directly or to the NACU list. Here is my model version of a header to also be used as a footer: ------------------------------------------------------------------- This story may involve strong adult themes, possibly inappropriate for some mature persons. If reading this might involve you or another person in an illegal act, stop now and go read something else. If you are offended by the exploration of adult themes in literature or on the Internet, just go away, we promise not to tell anyone. **NACU MEMBER** Net Authors and Creators Union **NACU MEMBER** "We pursue copyright infringement and defend author and creator rights." Copyright 1998 by Joyce Melton. All rights reserved. **Specific permission is granted for: {pick any that apply for you}** **Ordinary propagation over Usenet via normal means as part and concommitant result of the original posting of this copyrighted document. **Downloading and archiving of this copyrighted work on personal computers for personal non-commercial use. **Electronic archiving of this copyrighted text by free non-commercial archives such as the ASS archives; that is archives which do not charge per view, nor charge for memberships, nor sell ads which viewers of this text would be forced to view. **Ordinary propagation of this copyrighted document over the World Wide Web for viewing by private individuals for their own personal enjoyment with no commercial involvement other than paying for basic internet service. **Non-commercial electronic use of this copyrighted text on the Internet/Usenet as long as no laws are being violated. **Permission is specifically DENIED for: {pick any that apply}** **Any commercial use of this copyrighted text whatsoever without prior consent of the author. **Any use of this copyrighted document that would involve the author or any other person in an illegal act or would result in any sort of civil action. **Archiving this copyrighted text for later viewing by anyone over Usenet/Internet or other electronic means. **Making any sort of electronic or physical copy of this copyrighted work that is not freely accessible by the author and is not solely for the private personal use and enjoyment of mature, responsible readers. **Making any sort of transcription of this copyrighted document to any medium (such as CD, paper, transportable magnetic storage) for any distribution not previously approved by the author. **Propagating or distributing this copyrighted text without the attached copyright notice, NACU warning, and permitting and restricting paragraphs attached. **NACU MEMBER** Net Authors and Creators Union **NACU MEMBER** "We pursue copyright infringement and defend author and creator rights." -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-= ~ Credits ~ =-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Editors: BitBard Email: BitBard@bitbard.pair.com Web: http://bitbard.pair.com MissBehavin` Email: MissBehavin@missbehavin.pair.com Web: http://missbehavin.pair.com Reviewers / Contributors: Apuleius Email: Apuleius@poboxes.com Web: http://www.labyrinth.net.au/~mozart/info.html JayBird Email: j_bird3@hotmail.com Jean Email: jw.revu@quihye.demon.co.uk Nick Email: nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk Web: http://www.asstr.ml.org/files/Authors/Nick/www/ Miles Naismith Email: mnaismith@hotmail.com Web: http://www.asstr.ml.org/files/Authors/mnaismith/www Morgan Email: jgerrib@gte.net Web: http://members.tripod.com/~a_nonie_mouse Phil Email: phil@xanadu2000.freeserve.co.uk Web: http://www.xanadu2000.freeserve.co.uk Rosemerry Email: perigryn@earthlink.net Web: http://home.earthlink.net/~perigryn Sundance Email: sundance69@hotmail.com Web: http://extra.newsguy.com/~suntales Sven The Elder Email: sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk Web: http://www.asstr.ml.org/~sven Taltos Email: taltos82@hotmail.com -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-= End =-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ==================================================== My Story Site - http://bitbard.pair.com/ Free Story FAQ - http://annejet.pair.com/fs-faq.html -- +----------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `--------------+ | | | | Archive site +----------------------+--------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | ----