Message-ID: <16498eli$9810150650@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: tigger@alices.com (Tigger) Subject: RP TG: A Change of Direction (14/22) (Magic, TG) Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Reply-To: tigger@alices.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <36249aa5.914578@news.erols.com> A Change of Direction Part 14 by Tigger Copyright 1997, all rights reserved. Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond. No archiving or redistribution of this work is permitted without this copyright attribution included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving. A Change of Direction Chapter 20 Graduation day finally arrived and Jacqui took the top honors in Science and Mathematics. She missed out on one of the top three slots overall because her single minded focus in her strong areas resulted in a couple of "B"'s in other courses. Still, she and her Mother were proud of her accomplishments. Jacqui's only real regret was that Bonnie, as Bronwyn, was seated in the auditorium as a guest and was not beside her on the stage. Only after the ceremony had concluded and she had joined her Mom and Bronwyn for the reception did Jacqui realize how remarkable that fact was. Her *only* regret about this day's events had nothing to do with the circumstances of her Transformation, but rather with the simple fact that she missed a presence that only she and her Mother now remembered. Pensively, she tried to reconcile that with how she had thought she'd feel. Perhaps, she thought, I feel this way because *this* part of my life was really not changed. Heck, Jack probably would have not done as well as I did, since he would have had a lot more distractions to deal with, given the NCAA offer and all. No, this day, in any case, she was where she would have been, regardless of the Transformation, and it really did not make a difference to her that she was wearing a dress and heels instead of a suit and tie. Happily, she posed with her friends from the basketball team, and other girls she had grown fond of over the year. Tamika was there in a cast, but she was there. Jacqui felt proud of her part in that. She posed with Marcus, and even slipped in a little kiss that her Mother dutifully caught on film. But the best picture of all, was the one Marcus took of her, standing between her Mom and Bronwyn. What made that picture so special was so simple it was complicated. In that instant Jacqui knew, that regardless of what she did or decided, she would forever after treasure that picture and that memory. Her Mom. Her Best Friend. Herself. All of them together and happy. The festivities and celebration went long into the night, ending with the three exhausted women snuggled together in Laurie's bed. Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan 10 months 17 days A. T. I am a High School Graduate. Mom and Bronwyn went out of their way to make the day extra special and the gifts were wonderful. Bronwyn gave me a "blank check" for the laptop computer of my choice for college, since she was "certain she'd buy exactly the wrong thing." Mom gave me a gift certificate at the clothing store she knows I like so that I can go buy my own college clothes. Said she trusted my taste and wanted me to be comfortable at college. She also said that I had learned everything I need to know about being a "very girly-type girl". I *think* that she intended that to be a compliment. Knowing Mom, it probably was although Jack is still squirming over it. I cast my first solo illusion spell today, too. I wasn't mean about it, either. Although I did want to do something to that damn principal. I thought about it, too. I still wonder what would have happened if everyone in the auditorium saw him in a miniskirt. Mom would have had conniptions, though. So, I did a nice thing, instead. One of the really lonely guys at school got a kiss on the cheek today from the girl he has a horrendous crush on. Which he would not have gotten otherwise because she is a snooty, stuck-on-herself bitch. Actually, it was me. Since I am a girl, the "fool the eye-only" limitation on illusions was not a problem. Even if my looks were the only thing altered, and only in the eyes of my beholders, a girl still feels like a girl when you get hugged. And since a lot of folks saw "me"/her do it, she is having to pretend to like the guy or get teased mercilessly by her "ours doesn't stink" clique of friends. He's a nice person - maybe some of that will rub off on her. I am going to try another, more complicated illusion later on, for my eyes only. Oh, I forgot my best present. Mom demanded to know my most secret fantasy. I think I shocked her when I mumbled something about tying her to the bed, but she went right along with it. I was right, though, she *is* beautiful all stretched out tight like that. Her skin is so different from mine, all golden and light where I look like a beach bunny with an all over tan. I loved watching the play and strain of her muscles under her glistening skin as Bronwyn and I pulled her tight with the scarves we used to tie her up. Frankly though, once I had her that way, I was at something of a loss as to what to do next. Fortunately, Bronwyn was not at a loss. She had these incredible, long feathers with her. I never knew that Mom was *that* ticklish or that you could make someone climax from tickling. I found out those little facts later in the evening, first hand. Mom's not the only ticklish member of this family who can be forced to an orgasm (okay, *several* orgasms) with tickle torture. Mom exacted her revenge on me as soon as we set her loose. She and Bronwyn ganged up on me (so what if I did not fight *too* hard) and had me gasping with laughter - and orgasms in very short order. Love and Laughter - it is not a bad combination. I would never have thought so as Jack. I wonder if that was because of my male ego or my male dignity? Bronwyn slipped out of getting her turn with the feathers, though. Mom and I were just too shagged to take her down after they'd finished with me, but I have an excellent memory. An excellent imagination, too, and the mental image of the cool, reserved Bronwyn nearly peeing her panties in laughter is too much to resist. You know what? I just realized. I am actually happy. Amazing. End of Journal Entry. **************** Laurie decided to take advantage of Jacqui's apparent absence to take a peek in her room. She needed to check out her daughter's wardrobe for any missing college necessities. Without announcing herself in any way, Laurie entered her daughter's supposedly empty room. And nearly had her heart stop. There, standing in front of the mirror, was the son she had not seen in nearly a year. She almost spoke his name aloud, but her heart was beating so fast, she could not get the word out. She just stood there, looking at him. How had he done it? Had Bronwyn discovered a way to break her enchantment? Perhaps by calling upon the sum total of the entire Sisterhood's power, her friend had found a way to break that benighted, misguided spell. Odd how he looked now - easily recognizable as her son, but different somehow. What was it, she wondered. Then it hit her. The skin color - it was the color of Jacqui's skin, the dark olive tones of their gypsy ancestors and not the lighter skin shade of Jack's Scandinavian father. It was then that Jack noticed her reflection in the mirror. "Looks all wrong, doesn't it, Mom?" came the soft alto voice of her daughter. An instant later, her son was again replaced by the daughter he had become. "I can't even remember how I used to look." she said with an ironic twist to her full lips. "I've tried that illusion countless times since I finally got the hang of the magic. I have been trying to remember what it felt like to look like Jack, but I can't even remember enough about my own face to make a passable illusion of myself. Every time I try it, I come out as some amalgamation of Jack and Jacqui." "Is that so very bad? Jacqui is a very nice, very attractive person." "Thanks. I love you, too, but the point is I don't know Jack anymore. At least, I don't know the Jack I used to be anymore. Who will he be, Mom, in that future time when he is once again who I am?" Once again who you are, Laurie thought morosely. The question that had haunted her for months, of what had not gone right for her daughter reared again. What made her daughter long so fervently for the male life she'd lost the night Laurie had Transformed her? For her daughter, though, she made the effort to lock that hurt deep inside her soul and to keep a positive spin on her words. "He will be the sum total of your experiences, good and bad, my love. Those are what will have shaped the person you will become. In your case, they will be part male and part female; boy-child, adolescent male, and teenage girl, young woman. If you think about the richness of that range of experiences, then whoever he becomes, my love, he will be a very formidable person." Almost as formidable as the woman you could become if only you could find your way to making that choice. We will need you so badly when the Dark Time comes. "Now, would you like some help with that illusion? Illusion casting is not my forte, but I suspect that my memories of what Jack looked like are a little less distorted by recent experiences than yours are. I can help mold the illusionary features for you, if you like." "You'd do that, Mum? I mean, I know you really want me to stay as Jacqui." "Not if it makes you unhappy, Jacqui. I cast my spell thinking you would be as happy with your new life as I have been with the one my Mother gave me. I never wanted to go back to being Larry, just as many of my friends never wanted anything but their new lives. But now, I accept the fact that you do want to go back. You are my child and I love you. I want your happiness above all else. Now, do you want to try the illusion again?" In the light of her Mother's stark sincerity, the need that had been compelling Jacqui to try the illusion waned. If, in the final analysis, the new Jack was a combination of the best parts of the old Jack and the best parts of Jacqui, she could live with that. "Maybe some other time, Mom. I don't think it matters any more, thanks to what you just said. So, what brings you into my room, Mum? Wanna borrow some of my clothes?" Relieved by the change of subject, Laurie snorted and gave her daughter a mocking glare. "As if I could wear anything of yours, you busy wench. Goddess, I would look like a little girl playing dress-up in *her* mother's clothes trying to fit into your things. No, I was just wondering what you still might need for college." After all, Jacqui's "birthday" is just around the corner, she thought. Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan 1 Year A. T. Mom and Bronwyn threw a gala surprise birthday party today for me. At least that's what they called it for the benefit of the girls from the basketball team and for Marcus. Actually, as the date above this entry indicates, today marks the one year anniversary of the day I found myself changing into Agent Scully's hermaphroditic twin. Of course, we can't tell anybody else about *that*, so instead it was birthday cake, presents and many refrains of "Happy Birthday". It was still pretty cool. And I am *really* looking forward to my birthday spanking from Mom and Bronwyn, but *that* comes later! Marcus gave me a lovely bracelet, with his and my initials engraved on it, the letters intertwined. I am really not sure how to handle this relationship or the feelings he evokes in me. He is becoming very important to me. What will happen to his memories when I change back? And does it really matter? Jack is straight line straight. And I don't think I can be friends with Marcus - not after. . . Well, not after everything. Well, I am not going to worry about that - not right now, anyway. I only have a few minutes before Marcus gets here to take me dancing. I am really curious about the two gift wrapped packages that Mom has squirreled away in her bedroom, though. She won't let me open them, or even have them in my hot little hands until the three of us are alone in her bedroom. Then I can open them. She had a very sexy look in her eye when she told me that, too. If I did not like going dancing with Marcus so much, I would be pounding on her door right now. Oh, and Bronwyn gave me my first shape shifting lesson today. I don't think this is going to be as easy to learn as illusion casting. A whole *hour* of lessons and exhausting repetition and what did I accomplish? Changed my nails - made them a bit longer and a different color. HAH! I can almost do that without magic. Oh well. Mom just called, Marcus is here. Time for my grand entrance. I wonder what he will think of this leather miniskirt? No time like the present to find out. And no. I *don't* have the panty girdle on underneath the skirt. I don't think I need it anymore with Marcus. Besides, this skirt is so short, the girdle would show. End Journal entry. Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan 1 year, 1 day A. T. Well, I did not *quite* need the smelling salts, but it was a near thing. Poor dear almost hyperventilated when I came down. I think I may have flashed him. The skirt *is* short and the steps *are* steep. As to the wearing or not wearing of the panty girdle chastity belt, that little concern was much ado about not much at all. We are definitely going to have to plan this more carefully. Finding a place where Marcus and I can be alone *and* comfortable is a definite priority before we can start working on training his mouth for use on lips other than the ones on my face. His car does not fulfill the comfort requirement. There is not even enough room for him to get his face properly in position for a little oral loving. Darn compact cars, anyway. I practiced my own oral technique, though. Even though he was *very* excited, I managed to string him out quite nicely. Teasing is fun. Following through afterwards is even more fun. He tried to reciprocate with his hands afterwards, but he needs the same type of gentling lessons I needed immediately after Transformation, but he's a quick study, my Marcus. Motivated, too. As for me, I have a date in Mom's bedroom later to open those two presents she would not let me open in front of company. All we are waiting for is Bronwyn to arrive. Mom has this cat who is going to eat the canary look on her face every time she looks at me. Sounds like fun to me. Tweet tweet. Here, kitty-kitty. End Journal Entry. *************** "Well." Bronwyn said with feeling as she kicked the wadded ball of gift wrapping paper away from her chair. "That certainly was a fun time for all concerned. Not." She took a long sip from the brandy snifter cradled in her palm and let its fiery warmth burn through the knot of anxiety still curling inside her. "Not at all what I expected, either. But my daughter often reacts the way I least expect her to react. Goddess, when I remember how excited we were when we were planning this whole fiasco, I almost want to laugh. I would, too, if I did not feel so much like crying." "The healing spell you put on her will keep her asleep and dreaming good dreams for the rest of the night, Laurel. I expect, given a little time and a little distance, she will be fine. We just pushed a button tonight and found out that it was not wired the way we thought it was. Who would have thought, given the girl's boundless enthusiasm and innocent pleasure in every other sexy game we have introduced to her, that she would have gone over the edge because of this one?" Bronwyn shook her head in frustration. It had actually been *her* idea and it had gone very badly, indeed. "What are you going to do with them?" Bronwyn asked as she gestured at the bed with her snifter. Laurie turned to regard the jumbled mass of leather and metal lying on top of her bed along side a moderately sized, but life-like artificial penis. "I don't know. Keep them, I guess." She would just as soon never have seen them in her life. "Knowing my headstrong child, as soon as she recovers from the shock of whatever happened tonight, she is going to feel humiliated by her reaction in front of us. She'll decide she has to face her "weakness" head on, and will insist on having them. Eventually, she will get used to them being around and that will help, too." "Not one to cower for very long, is she?" Bronwyn smiled. "Too bad she has figured out about Bonnie. An "un-involved", sympathetic friend might do her a lot of good tomorrow." A thought struck Bronwyn that she did not like much at all. "Do you think that she reacted so strongly because we were the ones who gave it to her?" "Trying to make up for taking one penis away from her by giving her a substitute? If that was a problem, it was only a small part of the puzzle - there is something else there I haven't figured out, yet. Besides, you and I know that was not the case. We were only thinking of this game as a natural progression of the woman-to-woman lovemaking she enjoys with us, but I would say that is not quite how she saw it." "Good thing we decided against the locking harness. I shudder to think what would have happened if we had needed keys to shuck her out of that thing." Bronwyn took her last sip of brandy. "What now? She still needs to learn the lesson we intended to teach with those toys. She needs to learn how to enjoy the passive side of making love. Not that I mind her "let me do that for you, too" attitude in bed, but it's like she is cutting herself off from anything she perceives as submissiveness to anything masculine." Bronwyn snorted. "Goddess, even when she sucks Marcus off, she is in charge. The only time she ever lets go completely is when you or I tie her down first, and then she insists on quid pro quo later so she can try and outdo us." Laurie shook her head. "I don't know, Bronwyn. As I said, I think she will come around because she simply cannot abide weakness. The lesson we may have to teach her is that loving submission is not a weakness." Laurie stood up and rolled her head about, trying to relax the stress in her shoulders and back. "For now, I think I will go crawl into bed with her. She probably won't be happy to see me when she wakes up, but I don't want her to be alone if bad dreams do come." "Mind another bed mate, tonight? I don't much want to be alone, myself." Bronwyn asked. "Nothing I'd like better. If she wakes up mad, you can catch your fair share of the chewing out she is going to lay on my poor head." Laurie stood and held out her hand to Bronwyn. Together, they walked out into the hall. ************* Something was tickling Jacqui's nose. Eyes still closed, she tried to reach up with her hand to brush it away, only to discover that her arm was being weighed down. Waking with a start, she realized she was not alone in bed. Cracking open one eye, she saw a halo of pale, blonde hair arrayed on the pillow in front of her. Bronwyn, she thought. That meant that the soft, warm body pressing up behind her was Mother. And then she remembered the night before, and realized why they were all here in her bed, and not in her Mother's much larger one. As they had all planned the day before, Jacqui had joined her Mother and Bronwyn in her Mother's room shortly after Bronwyn had arrived. Both her Mom and Bronwyn had already been dressed in very sexy nightgowns when they had ushered Jacqui into the master suite. With great ceremony, the two older women had made a real production out of stripping Jacqui down to the skin. Of course, they did not resist any opportunity to taste or touch any newly uncovered bit of skin, so by the time they had Jacqui fully naked, they also had her fully aroused. It was at this point, that her Mother had presented her with the first of the two packages she had teased Jacqui with the night before. With all the delicacy and patience of a starving woman at a banquet, Jacqui had fallen upon the wrapping paper and had turned the beautifully wrapped package into brightly colored confetti in mere seconds. What was in the box, though remained a mystery to her even when she held it in her hands and examined it thoroughly. Once it became obvious that she had no idea what the device was, her Mother and Bronwyn had come to her aid and assisted her in donning the harness. Jacqui first thought was that it was some kind of kinky bondage toy, and that they would use it to supplement the scarves that had become a regular part of their play over the summer. The new harness was been made of wide leather straps. One strap fit tightly around her waist, just above her hipbones, while two matching straps buckled about each of her thighs, just below the crease where her legs met the buttocks. Fine-linked, silvery chrome chains connected the thigh straps to the waist belt. Her Mother and Bronnie had been determined to make sure that all the straps and adjustable chains were tightened as much as they could be and still be comfortable for her. The fourth strap was the one that had really surprised her. It attached in the front of the waist belt, right at her navel, and hung down. There was some type of thick, metal ring in the strap, a little less then midway down the leather length. From the ring, two thinner straps dangled. The two women had been very particular in adjusting the front connection of that strap so that the ring rested just so over her woman's mound, and then they had pulled the two dangling leathers up between her legs. Each of those straps had been pulled, ruthlessly under the crease of each buttock and had been connected to buckles at her sides. The effect, as Mother and friend had strained to cinch up tightly on the straps, was to nearly split her puss in two, while also lifting and separating the muscular, rounded half moons of her ass. Actually, that had all been pretty exciting, Jacqui admitted to herself. When they had brought her the next package, she had hoped it contained something that would complete her bondage, maybe a set of hand cuffs, or shackles. It hadn't. Her fingers had gone nerveless when she had pulled the latex sex toy out of the box. She remembered thinking that it was both thicker and shorter than hers, or rather Jack's had been. Bronwyn had interpreted her sudden lack of animation as confusion, because she'd slipped the fake dick out of Jacqui's hands and then snapped it into the ring above Jacqui's pubis. Mother and Bronwyn had then all but shoved her in front of the wall mirror to admire her new "look". They'd been surprised at Jacqui's response. Maybe shocked was a better word. Jacqui had simply lost her composure all together. She'd grabbed hold of the dildo and had tried to pull it off. Failing in that only because the harness was doing what it was designed to do, holding the toy solidly in place, she had flailed ineffectually at the myriad of buckles and catches - screaming her head off at her Mother to "Get this damned thing off me!" Neither her Mother nor Bronwyn had been able to calm her enough to get their hands on any of the buckles. Finally, she'd felt the touch of her Mother's magic, and had slipped into sleep. Why had she gone off the deep end, like that? Why had the simple symbolic reminder of her former masculine state send her off the deep end? She thought she had gotten beyond feeling like that. Hadn't she learned to handle her feminine needs? She was practically having an affair with a man - enjoying it, too. Part of it had been the verbal teasing from her Mother and Bronwyn. Bronwyn's comment that "We thought you might want to keep in practice, just in case you do decide to change back to good old Jack." was one thing. Had Jacqui not been so off balanced by the scenario, she probably would have been able to deal with it in the manner Bronwyn had intended it - as a lighthearted jest at her expense, and as a bit of a challenge, too. Unfortunately, before Jacqui had a chance to handle that remark, her Mother had chimed in. "And she needs more than practice, Bronnie." Laurie had said with an air of determined resignation. "Unlike us when we were Transformed, our little darling has a hymen. That means Jack never got it on with a girl, so we will have to teach her everything." Up until that moment, Jacqui had not understood the significance of her possession of a hymen, at least as having one related to being a Transformed woman. She had thought that it was just one of those things; that being "reborn" as a woman meant "everything old was new again". Apparently not, and that meant that her *Mother* knew Jack was a virgin. He'd been a Junior in school, for god's sake, and except for that one time when he might have gotten it on with the girl, he'd never been inside a woman. And the crowning humiliation was that his Mother, as Larry, had done what Jack never had. His Mother knew things he did not know. And so did Bronwyn. Jack's own penis had been untested at giving a woman pleasure at the time of his Transformation. And the problem was, that no matter what happened after she learned the Transformation Spell, Jack would never be able to match what that unfeeling piece of rubber could do for a woman. It would never go soft before giving the woman her pleasure. It would never finish too soon, leaving his partner high and dry. It would never become too sensitive or tender to continue. Thoughts and feelings whirled in a dizzying maelstrom about her head. Rolling onto her back, Jacqui closed her eyes again and tried to calm herself. The deep breathing and meditation exercises her Mother had taught her as part of her healer training finally worked. Gradually, her mind slowed, and coherent thought returned. She worked at viewing the process more objectively. The relaxation exercises had eased the tension in mind and body. She stretched to relieve the final kinks. "Good morning," a soft voice mumbled beside her. Soft hands began stroking her hair. "How do you feel?" A bubble of helpless laughter escaped Jacqui, causing her Mother some concern. "Better, actually." She considered a moment before adding, "Pretty good, in fact." She rolled to face her Mother and gave her a hug and kiss. "MMMMmmmm, you taste good." she cooed. "I have been laying here trying to work out what happened last night." Forcing herself to keep her voice light, Laurie asked, "And have you come to any conclusions?" "None that I am very proud of." Her Mother's hand gently stroked her hair and some more of the tension relaxed. Maybe talking it out with her Mother would help ease the embarrassment that Jack, and Jacqui, still felt. "You know that I . . . umm, Jack was a virgin?" Laurie nodded as she watched her daughter's eyes. "Until last night, I did not understand what being a real virgin meant in my current state. And it never occurred to me that you hadn't been a virgin when you were. . .well, when you were Larry." Jacqui tried to look away, embarrassed all over again at the admission. Laurie took the girl's chin in her hand and drew it back so their eyes met. Soft love and understanding shown in her Mother's eyes. "Does that really matter so very much, darling?" Jacqui swallowed, and tried to find words to express her feelings. "Maybe in a perfect world, it wouldn't. But the fact remains that I was almost eighteen and never made out with a girl." Then her eyes darkened with stormy emotion. "And YOU *knew*!" Laurie chuckled at the ringing condemnation in her daughter's voice. "And I had never been a female virgin, either. Your old Mom had gone where you never had. Is that it?" Jacqui flushed and then nodded jerkily. "All those little male fears and insecurities never went away, I guess. I never felt the confidence that comes with having "proven myself" with a woman. Some of it was that, anyway. Couple that with the fact that Jack could never hope to compete with that toy and you have the greater part of what went wrong." Laurie gently kissed the girl's forehead. "Let me ask you a question. Have you made love with Bronwyn and me?" Unsure where this was leading, Jacqui tentatively nodded that she had. "And have you given us countless orgasms? Made us scream shamelessly with pleasure?" A very smug, self satisfied and nearly male grin slid across the girl's features. "Damn right I have." she answered arrogantly. "So, I would assume that, after you go back to being Jack, you are not going to forget how to do that?" Jacqui shook her head emphatically, her eyes wide with wonder and understanding. "Then how in the name of the Goddess can you be inadequate? Making love to a woman is infinitely more than the mere act of sticking a dick in her pussy." Her Mother's crude words sent Jacqui's brows lifting into her hairline. Laurie continued, pressing her advantage. "It really is pretty absurd, when you think about it *logically.*" the word dripped with trenchant irony, "Here you are, fully female, but feeling male inadequacies in comparison to a marital aid and to your very happily female Mother. Jacqui, my girl, get a grip, will you?" Jacqui's mouth made an "O" as she stared at her Mother. Finally, her sense of the ridiculous won over her sense of shock. She chuckled softly to herself at the images her Mother had painted across her mind's eye. Much of the remaining tension in Jacqui's body relaxed. Sighing, she snuggled up closer to her Mother. "The rest of it was all the little hurts I did not know I still felt as a result of the Transformation. Like - "Why me?" or "What was not good enough about me that I needed to be changed this way?" All those little things that I know, intellectually anyway, had nothing to do with your decision, but that still niggle at me when I am alone in the dark. And I guess I felt cheated, looking there in the mirror, seeing an image with real breasts and a man-made penis, and knowing that no matter how good it would feel, it would not be what I would feel if I still was Jack." "Am I to assume from your more serene demeanor," which Laurie's healer instincts sensed was the way the girl actually felt, "that you have dealt with most of that?" "Yes. Although I wish I knew, right now, what making love to a woman felt like as a man." Jacqui sighed, "It might make so many things clearer and more simple." "Even if I remembered how it felt, *which I don't*, dear, it is something that can only be experienced. I can only tell you that in my case, at least, it paled in comparison to what I experienced as the woman being made love to by a man." Jacqui smiled at the wistful tone in her Mother's voice and cuddled closer. "Wishes and horses, Mum. I can tell you, that jerking off as Jack never felt as good as what Jacqui does to me with her fingers. Which pales in comparison to what you and Bronwyn make me feel when we are together." And she started kissing her Mother a little more seriously as that memory aroused her. Their passion awoke Bronwyn who was soon actively participating. Nothing further was said by any of the women for a long time. Mouths had better uses at that moment than merely speaking. Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan 1 Year 2 days A. T. I am still kind of embarrassed at how I reacted to that gift. Mom and Bronwyn were so pleased with themselves and all ready for a good time and then I went ballistic on them. I am still not sure I completely understand why I did. Much of it is as I told Mom. We talked some more after our morning romp (making love with two other women in a too small bed can be very friendly, although you do have to watch where you put your knees. You can bruise tender areas that way) The harness and dildo are now in my room so that I can see always see them, or hold them or touch them periodically. For now, I just want to get more comfortable with the whole idea. Mom and Bronwyn have promised that I, alone, decide if and when those toys ever come out to play again. After some quiet time for reflection, though, I sensed there was more to the gift than just another neat toy to add spice to our lovemaking. I asked Bronwyn about that and she gave me a funny look before shrugging. Seems the two witch women have decided that I need to let loose of my controls a little more. Bronwyn said I need to try being more passive in my lovemaking, if only for the experience. "You don't always have to be in charge like Jack evidently was on his dates." she said. "You need to experience letting someone else control the action, and let that person *make* you cum. If only so you will understand both sides of the experience." That is part of the problem, although I could not admit that to Bronwyn. Jack *wasn't* in control on his dates. That is why he is still a virgin and I am still a virgin. Of course, there was that one time with Dani Evers. We had planned to "do it" at her place while her folks were out on a date. God, I'd been so ready and so nervous. Unfortunately, I was not the only one. By the time we got to her bedroom, poor Dani was almost frantic - and not with the urgency to consummate our union. She was white as a sheet. I remember she had worn black lingerie and it made her pallor look even worse. Then, she started crying. Jack had never lost a hard on so fast without cumming. She was terrified. Terrified of being found out by her parents. Terrified of getting pregnant. Hell, terrified of Jack. He ended up playing "big brother" and telling her it was all right. She finally fell asleep and Jack let himself out. So ended Jack Donovan's first and last real chance at conjugal bliss. Maybe Bronwyn is right, though, at least about being in charge in the bedroom. I like it, and I don't know if I would much like just "taking it". I probably will try to do it that way, though. Bronwyn, the sneaky, underhanded, loving little witch knows me too well. She made it a dare. I just don't know if I am going to try being "passive" with that harness on someone else, though. That is going to take some heavy thinking, before I do that with anyone - even Mom or Bronwyn. And it is not because I don't trust them, or don't think they would make the experience wonderful for me that I don't want to use them to use those things on me. Mostly it's because I did not get to try the real thing as Jack. If and when Jacqui loses her virginity, I'd like to have the real thing that first time. Not that I am ready for that, in any case. As comfortable as I _think_ I have become with my femininity, Jack is still a big part of me, and he has a problem with it. I don't blame him, either, it is a big step. Certainly for me as Transformed woman, anyway. Why? Well you may ask. It is simply this. The part of me that is still Jack, still heterosexual male, is dead set against doing it. That is a substantial obstacle for my desires in that regard to have to overcome. Only a monumental need to have a man inside me could get me past Jack's intransigence. I would have to be in love with that man before I would be able to get past that and have intercourse with him. And if I love him enough to make love with him, how could I leave him and become Jack again? The _really_ uncomfortable thing about this whole line of reasoning is that falling in love with a man, and making love with a man, do not seem to be quite as impossible as either of those ideas did a year ago. Jack is *not* liking this discussion at all. Well, I don't feel that way about any man right now, if that is any consolation, Jack. Oh well, college starts in a few weeks. That should keep me busy. End of Journal Entry. End Part 14; Continued in Part 15 -- +----------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `--------------+ | | | | Archive site +----------------------+--------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | ----