Message-ID: <16114eli$9810060547@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: tigger@alices.com (Tigger) Subject: RP TG: A Change of Direction (4/22) (Magic, TG) Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Reply-To: tigger@alices.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <361b899e.279728@news.erols.com> A Change of Direction Part 4 by Tigger Copyright 1997, all rights reserved. Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond. No archiving or redistribution of this work is permitted without this copyright attribution included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving. A Change of Direction Chapter 10 Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan This is *not*, underline that, please, *not* a diary and I am not going to open it the way I have read that teenage girls do by writing "Dear Diary" on every damned page. This is a journal, a record of my experiences as I work to become my own man again. It is also a place where I can vent in privacy. Actually, the whole thing is Mum's idea and she has promised some big deal oath that she will not use her magic to "eavesdrop" on any thoughts I express in here. It is a good idea, actually, although I refuse to tell her that. God knows, I need some place to discuss things or I will go crazy. I won't go to Mum and I can't go to anyone else. So this is the place where I will talk with myself. And with Jack. I know I promised Mum I would work to think of myself as the female I give every outward appearance of being. And I have. Mostly. But Jack is still a part of me, and he still needs expression. At least, he does if I/he/we are ever going to get through this with my/his/our sanity intact. Anyway, on with the writing.... 18 Days A. T. (*that's *A*fter *T*ransformation. I need a time scale. I would rather count "days to Re-Transformation", but I can't. Mum doesn't even know when that will happen. Or if she does know, she is not telling me. Which would mean that she is lying to me, again, and I really don't think she is - this time. I think I believe her. At least, I believe she does not know *that* bit of information, anyway.) I have just been assured that my *first* period is now officially over. I hereby apologize to all the girls I snickered at in the eighth grade when they turned green and had to go to the school nurse every month or so. I also understand the true meaning of "being on the rag". It has nothing to do with the various cloth implements intended to collect the discharge and thus keep our womanly parts and clothes from becoming a bloody mess. No, the phrase *must* derive from what the whole damned process feels like, particularly when it first hits. I can only liken it to having somebody reach inside you, grab hold of your guts with both hands and then try to wring them out like a wet dish rag. This is neither "wonderful" nor "glorious", Mum. Jack went into deep hiding during the whole four days, the damned coward. Left me alone to face the thing all by myself. Well, not quite. Mum was there for me. She was actually pretty great about the whole thing. I did not appreciate her attempts at humor. On reflection that was more because of a petty desire to pout and sulk then the lameness of her jokes. Some weren't *too* bad. Her back massages were *blissful* and the food she fixed for me was bland but it stayed down when I did not think anything I ate would. It's a strange thing and I don't know for sure, nor will I ask her, but I think she did something magical to blunt the worst of it that first night. Don't know why, just a feeling niggling in my head. Her hands felt sort of warm on my back, only it wasn't the hot kind of warm. Can't describe it, really, you just had to be there. Taking birth control pills every day sure seems strange. Not that I want to be with guys *that* way, but if I have learned nothing else about this new body of mine, I have found out that I am very easily aroused, and once I am turned on, I *need* sexual relief. Since I am not sure that my mental reservations about guys will preclude some male from getting me sexually excited, I really don't want to take the chance. What is that old line about what you call women who rely upon contraceptive methods other than chemical or shields? They call them Mothers. And since I am a virgin, that leaves only the chemical method for me. Particularly since I am *not* going to trust a man to protect me. What am I saying??!? A man? Me? Damn. Mom gave me some line about only getting pregnant if I want the baby of the man who is inside me. What a crock! Does she *want* me to get pregnant? If I believe her, all I have to do is not want babies and I am home free. Somehow, I don't think so, Mum. Which leads me to another, scarier line of thought. What the hell is all this learning I am going to find so "bloody awful"??!? I know Mom had me, and I *do* know where babies come from. I don't think I am going to be permitted to avoid becoming "fully female" with a man, but I hope it is not something really sick, like taking a man in my mouth or putting out to two guys at once. Naw, whatever Mom is, she is not that nasty. More likely, I am going to have to make out with a guy and enjoy it. Yeah, something like that. She is just not going to happy until I get thoroughly screwed and love it. Well, that is it for today. Not a bad first start, and I *do* feel a little better. Jack feels a bit ashamed at my discussion of his cowardice, but he'll get over it. For now, I have a date with a hot tub full of bubbles. Another thing about this monthly affirmation of my new femininity. It makes you smell just a bit off, particularly up close, and a shower just doesn't get the job done. Just wish I had something to read other than fashion magazines and romance novels. Don't girls read Sports Illustrated? Oh well. Till next time. End Journal Entry. ************ "Well?" Laurie asked the slender, ethereally pretty woman seated across the kitchen table from her. The woman smiled. "If you wanted to know that badly, Laurel, you should not have taken an oath sacred to the Goddess not to peak." she chided gently. Laurie grimaced. "She needed the outlet so much, Bronwyn. She won't talk to me and she doesn't have anyone else. She would not have started the journal if I had not promised not to look." "You know that asking me to do your peaking for you is precisely the type of half truth that got you into this trouble to begin with. However, in this case, I must agree with you. She needs to express her feelings and you need know how she is feeling." Bronwyn's faintly blue eyes became unfocused, then once again cleared. She looked at Laurie, surprise arching her brows. "Did you use the healing arts to ease her menses, Laurel?" Laurie's eyes went wide and then she blushed at having been caught. "Yes, High Priestess. She was in such discomfort and I felt so guilty at that moment. When I massaged her, I took just a bit of her pain into myself - not much," she hastened to add in self justification, "Just enough that she could drop off to sleep. "Yes, well, as you are aware, we don't normally do that for a new Sister's First Flow, but I can understand your dilemma. I will not gainsay your decision, Laurel. You must do as you think best in this sadly unique Transformation Transition. However, that is not the point. What is important is that your daughter sensed the use of the power. She speculated that you did something magical and even described it quite accurately. I don't think I have ever heard of a novice Sister being quite so sensitive or aware of the Goddess power so soon after Transformation before." "I am not surprised, Bronwyn. Everything has pointed to her being very special, and very powerful. Stubble it! What did I do incorrectly? Why is she fighting this so hard? How can she possibly want to ... to go back?" Tears welled in Laurie's eyes. "Laurel." Bronwyn's voice was velvet steel. "You did nothing wrong. The Sisterhood has reviewed the Transformation and everything leading up to it. We have found nothing wrong. Your child is, as you said, unique and very special. Unfortunately, this is sometimes what happens when you deal with unique cases. You cannot anticipate things that are outside your experiences. So, while that makes her very important to us because of the power she possesses, some other facet that makes her unique is likely working against us." Laurie's tension eased under her friend's soothing approval. "You are sure?" she asked tremulously. At Bronwyn's emphatic nod, she sighed, and relaxed a bit more. "You know? I do think I know at least one of the problems. Initially pretending that the Transformation was a fanciful lark on my part was a mistake. I know that it worked with me when my Mother Transformed me. I just saw the entire thing as a great adventure. However, that ploy failed miserably with my own daughter. At the time, she saw my lighthearted attitude as a cruel, mean-spirited thing. She continues to think of it that way." "Would you have denied her the re-Transformation back to her male identity had she requested it before you completed the final spell? The spell that now requires her to effect her own change back to Jack?" Bronwyn's tone was one of only mild interest, as if she already knew the answer. Laurie's eyes went wide in outraged shock. "Of course NOT! Not if she had been that repulsed by the change, or if she had maintained sufficient self control in the face of her new feminine needs and responses to request the re-Transformation. That would have been proof that Jack's masculine self image was simply too strongly ingrained for her to have any success making the adjustments she would need to master the Power herself. That *would* have been cruel because without her own Power, my spell would then have been both permanent and irreversible." "Then your only error was one that the Sisterhood approved - the treating of the initial Transformation period in a fun and playful manner. We *expected* it to be a fun experience for her because that's how it was for all of us. If you will recall, *that* was why we chose the Scully identity for the first stage of the Transformation - because everything we knew about your son indicated that he would have fun "being" her. Unfortunately, although Jack reacted as we expected when you put the question for "more time" to her, she did not react as we anticipated when she was faced the totality of what she had inadvertently agreed to accept. The real sadness of this is that as we prepare for a probable conflict in which we will desperately need the power she could wield, we will likely not be able to count upon having it. *BUT*, I will say this again, *none* of that is your fault." A teary smile curved Laurie's lips. "I understand, High Priestess. Thank you for telling me that. I have felt very . . . inadequate of late." "Nonsense. Nothing about you is in any way inadequate." Bronwyn flicked the word away with a careless gesture of her hands. "One other thing, Laurel. Jack is in the journal, too, but in the third person. I find that very positive. She is trying to acclimate. She also berates his ..... desertion of her during her recent trial." A wickedly mirthful grin lit Bronwyn's face showing how beautiful she was. "My, my, my. She does have quite an imagination." Mirth twinkled in Bronwyn's eyes. "She is discussing what her lessons may require of her. Very inventive, and at least partially accurate." "On another matter," Bronwyn continued quickly, "she did not believe you when you told her about the ineffectiveness of birth control. I even infer that she took it just the other way, that you were telling her she could stop conception." Laurie's eyes closed on her misery. "Goddess, what a mess. In that case, we are going to have to keep her on a very short leash until she is advanced enough to be taught the Transformation spell. It is almost impossible for one of us *not* to think positively about conception when we are making love with a man we care about. That is why we usually stick to relationships with other Sisters. Otherwise we would be continuously pregnant." "Sadly true. Although, being with child is a lovely feeling. It is too bad that as members of the Sisterhood, we tend to link making love and making babies very closely in our minds and spirits." "At least *you* can avoid that by maintaining some separation when you are making love with a man. Some of us can't." Laurie sulked. "True, which is probably a facet of your healing gifts. Still, keeping that mental shield means that the act of making love is not nearly as fulfilling as it should be." Bronwyn frowned a bit before continuing. "Anything else?" Laurie hesitated, but decided to press on. "Yes, while we are on the subject of sex. Jacqui's drives are already very strong. She masturbates every night. My own sex drive following Transformation was very demanding and I think hers will be even stronger. Like most new Sisters, I had my Mother to help me cope with the hunger until I was ready to deal with men. She never took, Bronwyn, only gave until I was ready to return the gift. Jacqui, however, has not forgiven me and she won't want that kind of relationship with me. It would be abusive of me even to try right now, but we can't let her fall prey to her body's needs and end up getting pregnant too soon. I don't want to find out the hard way she was serious in her threat. If she wants to be a man again that badly, I have to help her, but you are well aware of what terminating a fetus would mean." "Yes, I know. You really believe that is a possibility?" At Laurie's shaky nod, Bronwyn frowned thoughtfully. "Hmmm, Yes, I see you do. All right, I agree we need to provide her with an outlet. Someone to whom she can relate and to whom she can confide her little troubles would also be useful. She starts school when? In a fortnight? All right, I will arrange for her to meet someone at school who will provide her with friendship, advice and sexual relief." "A member of the Sisterhood?" Laurie asked. At Bronwyn's emphatic nod, Laurie sighed resignedly, wishing she could be the one to share that first time and those other things with her daughter. That was just another of her little Mother's dreams that had to be foresworn for the good of her daughter. "Please, Bronwyn, make sure it is someone special for her. Please." The answering smile was both gently reassuring and wickedly feline. "Why, Laurel." The Power glowed about Bronwyn and her form blurred momentarily. The glow died just as suddenly, and where Bronwyn had been but an instant before, sat a teenaged girl - a shorter, blonder and very well developed teenaged girl. The face and body were pure adolescent male wet dream brought to life, but the smile was still Bronwyn's. "I think your daughter is still viewing other women through your son's libido, darling. I believe this form is sufficiently lacking in subtlety to gain her and *his* attention." Shocked, Laurie gasped. "You? You are going to go to school and watch over Jacqui??" "Laurel, darling. I am going to do *much* more than just watch. I am going to wear her out, and then, I will give her a little, less-than-sisterly guidance about the pitfalls and dangers of being a beautiful woman in man's world. Hopefully, I will be in a position to control her first contacts with men and keep her out of too much trouble. It will also give me a chance to figure out how or if we can soften her attitude toward the Transformation. If she is going to be as powerful as we both think she can be, we will need her willing assistance in the coming struggle." Anticipation, then hunger gleamed in her lovely eyes. "Now, since your daughter is enjoying her little soak, how about you and I give the new equipment," she gave her newly expansive bosom a little shimmy that made one of Laurie's mouths dry and the other very wet, "a test drive?" She held out her hand to Laurie who happily took it in hers and then led the way to her bedroom. Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan Journal Entry: 25 days A. T. Mum's own monthly visitor arrived today. From the look of her, that arrival was not gentle, either. I wonder that I never noticed how difficult these times are for her before this. Takes one to know one? I guess. I really wanted to be glad she was feeling so vile. I wanted to enjoy the fact that she was suffering, just like I had suffered because of what she had done to me. I *really* wanted to stand outside her door and yell something like "Payback is hell, isn't it?". Only, I couldn't. I hated that she did not feel well. Jack is a bit upset with me for going soft on him, but I can't help it. Besides, his opinion doesn't count, the coward. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. And besides, she still is my Mum. Anyway, I went into her room tonight and did the same things for her that she did for me - herbal tea and a back rub. She has nice skin - really soft and nice to touch. Is my skin like that now? She is so much lighter in skin color than I am. Anyway, it seemed to help. She went to sleep soon after I started. Hope she feels better tomorrow. I don't feel so good myself just now. I wonder if I am going to be irregular about these things. I feel like I am about to have another period, myself. Yuck. End Journal Entry. ************* "Hello?" the calm voice came over the phone line. "Bronwyn? This is Laurie. You will not believe this." Laurie's voice was a flood of excited babbling. "Calm down, Laurel. Tell me what's wrong!" Laurie took a deep breath and forced herself to speak slowly. "Nothing is wrong, Bronnie. It's amazing, but nothing bad. I started my monthly last night and Jacqui helped me." "Oh? So she is softening toward you?" "No, no... I mean, well, maybe, but that is not what I mean. She *helped* me, like I did her. She used magic to share my discomfort and reduced the intensity of it so I could fall sleep. I fell asleep before I could stop myself. I think she did that, too." "Now, Laurel. You know she can't possibly do that without training." "Bronwyn, you are the High Priestess and the most powerful of us all, but I am the Chief Healer. I know the feel of a healer's touch on me. I did not do it. You know as well as I that the healing art only works on others. Somehow, she learned by feeling me do it to her and she did it for me without realizing what she did. I know the signs and this morning, she was suffering from post healing fatigue symptoms. She had shared my cramps and had not slept well because of them." "Incredible. So advanced for one yet untrained. We will have to watch her even more carefully. I've never heard of a novice learning independently like that, but she evidently has." "Do you know how long I had to work with my own Mother before I could begin to match what she unthinkingly accomplished last night?" Laurie interjected, somewhat indignantly. "Now there's a scary thought, my dear. If the mere act of using magic on her in some way "teaches" her enough to begin using it herself, then we must be extremely cautious what magic she is exposed to and when she is exposed to it. Goddess, but that takes many options out of our hands. Even the mildest manipulation and influence spells are out of the question for the time being. I don't want an untrained novice poking about people's heads without even realizing she is doing it." "Bronwyn? What about the Transformation Spell? She was definitely exposed to that magic, too. The Sisterhood could be endangered if the entire Senior Class at her school suddenly all turn into females." The phone went silent for a moment. "Good point. I will have to be sure I am there with her. It may not be a problem since she was exposed to that spell when she was still a male and therefore incapable of wielding the power, but until we are sure of that, we need to be on guard against it. We can only hope that this trick is a manifestation of her incredible potential now that she is female. Laurel? You had better start her training." the voice paused and then added emphatically. "Now." "Now??" Laurie was aghast. "But, we agreed to give her a few months to settle in before starting to teach her any real magic." "That was before she taught herself. Unfortunately, she probably does not know how she is doing it. She may not even realize that she *is* doing it. You know as well as I the dangers an adept faces once a healing linkage is joined. She has to learn how to control the establishment of a link and she has to understand the inherent risks." "You are right, of course. I will use the remainder of my monthly as the hook. I will start tonight before bedtime. You realize it will be a time before she can safely do anything on her own?" "Healing is not the focus of my talent, but I know how difficult it can be to master. In any case, I should be able to block her if she does start to do something at school. I have already arranged to be in all of her classes. By the second day, we should be famous chums. Now, if I am going to be spending the next few months reliving my high school years, I have some things that require my attention first. I suspect I will be seeing you soon, Laurel. Bye." The phone clicked off and a dial tone began to buzz in Laurie's ear. Laurie carefully hung up the phone. What had she done? Obviously, her daughter was unique in the recorded memory of the Sisterhood. Whether that would be a good thing, a neutral thing or a bad thing, only the fullness of time would tell. ****** "So," said the tall, dark haired man seated behind the desk. "She is of the Sisterhood, and her son is now her daughter?" The man seated across from him looked at the spiral notebook in his hands and then looked up to speak. "Yes, High Leader. Our data scans of the Social Security records have shown that, about two weeks ago, the Social Security Number of one John David Donovan was suddenly associated with Jacqueline Daphne Donovan. Subsequent checks of other personal records for John Donovan are nonexistent. To date, only your special, magically sealed records indicate such a person ever existed." "Excellent. The Dark One is with us. For the first time in the history of the Brotherhood, we have identified a completely untrained Sister. We will play this game carefully. I want a totally invisible, completely discreet surveillance on both of the Donovan," and here the man sneered and spat out the word, "women. We will bide our time and strike when we have what we need to rid this planet of the Sisterhood and their puling Goddess once and for all. Now go and do as I ordered." The other man made a toadying bow and all but ran from the room. Power, thought the man still seated at his desk, was the only thing worth having in this life. And soon, his would be total. Thanks to the power of computers and the power of magic. End Part 4 -- +----------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `--------------+ | | | | Archive site +----------------------+--------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | ----