Message-ID: <15754eli$9809300632@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: tigger@alices.com (Tigger) Subject: New TG: A Losing Season 9 of 13 (Femdom(?), CD) Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Reply-To: tigger@alices.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <36147d89.3765739@news.erols.com> A Losing Season - An Alternative Ending to Seasons of Change Part IX by Tigger Copyright 1998 Archiving and reposting of this story *unchanged* is permitted provided that no fee be charged, either directly or indirectly (this includes so-called "adult checks") *and* provided that this disclaimer and attribution to the original author are maintained intact. Based on the characters and situations presented in "Seasons of Change" by Joel Lawrence, Copyright 1989. This story is archived in its entirety at: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/transgender/by_authors/Joel_Lawrence This story represents an alternative ending to Mr. Lawrence's story. It is essentially a parallel universe story where things start out the same, but follow a much different path than the one portrayed in the original story. A Losing Season: Chapter 29. Homecoming Excerpt: Michelle's Diary October 14 - Day 90 Dear Diary Well, we got home late last night, and Michael's clothes were back in the attic closet before bedtime. That's okay, I guess. I missed my bubble bath in that rustic cabin. Showers are all right for Michael, but Michelle likes lounging in a hot froth of water and bubbles. I have decided I am going to go to that dance with Dennis on Saturday. First of all, because I cannot think of anyway to avoid it, and not call real attention to myself. This one of those times that it would have been nice if David was going to school somewhere closer to New England than Illinois. Secondly, because I have decided that, just as Jane and Caro have said, I need to learn how to function in these situations as a female. And finally, because after Michael's *and* Michelle's time with Karen, I am no longer as confused about who I am and what I want. I want what Eric has and what Caro's husband has - a loving relationship with a woman who knows Michael and Michelle, and who enjoys both sides of me. I want children who I will ensure grow up certain of their parents' love. And that leaves out Dennis or any other guy, even if I do find being with them erotically exciting (which I have to admit to myself that I have), because they cannot give me kids. I am going to wear everything I can think of that will make it difficult for me to get groped. Don't know what Dennis will think of if and when he tries to get cute, but that's his problem. Mine is getting through that shindig without being discovered. Michelle Nash ~--------------~ Jane hung up the phone and sighed sadly. She'd hated not being able to commit to her friend, a judge in a midwestern city. Unfortunately, the case in question would require her to take charge of the boy early in the New Year which posed two problems. First, if Michelle was still with her at that point, which was still a definite possibility, it was highly unlikely that the girl would tolerate, much less assist Jane's program of petticoat-humiliation discipline. "Jane?" came a soft voice at her open door. "Are you all right? Is there something wrong?" She looked up and saw a concerned Michelle peering in at her from the front foyer. Jane shook her head. "Not really, Michelle. Just a call from a friend asking for help I cannot give her." Michelle walked across the room and sat down in the hated chair on the other side of the desk. Oddly, it did not seem to have any power over her any more. "What kind of help?" You really don't want to know, dear, Jane thought wryly. "Oh, she just wanted me to take on a project for her, and I could not commit to anything more as long as your training is in progress." she said, attempting to sound positive about the situation. However, Jane had not counted on the almost empathic intuition her charge seemed to have developed over the past few weeks. She simply looked at Jane for several moments, and then she understood. "That was one of the people who sends you boys." Michelle said flatly. "She wanted you to take on another rehabilitation project." Nodding wearily, Jane affirmed what Michelle had already divined. "Yes. Judge Ruth is another of my sorority sisters who now sits the bench of a juvenile court in a small city in Ohio. She has a boy she thinks would be ideal for the type of retraining I have specialized in for many years. But the boy needs to be here sometime between mid January and the first of February, and I just don't see how I can do it then." "I see." Michelle said stonily. "And this woman thinks you can help him? Has she worked with you before?" Jane smiled. "Of course. In fact, she is the one who sent David to me. He originally was supposed to go to her court, but the local DA was on a law and order kick, and wanted to try David as an adult. Ruth intervened, and with the help of another judge, got David sent to me. He either came to me by way of Ruth's order, or the DA would have him in regular court. They had enough evidence to convict - mostly because David had confessed." "Is this the same type of thing?" Michelle asked tonelessly. "You mean jail or here?" Jane raised her hands to her eyes and tried to massage the tension away. "Appears so. Ruth thinks he could be salvaged, but not if he ends up in the state prison." "So why didn't you take him on? I mean, it is what you do, isn't it?" Michelle's tones were aggressively accusatory. "What I used to do, Michelle. You are here, and even if you were not my first priority - which you are - I could not bring a young man in here for my usual program with you living here. At best, you'd be sullenly neutral, and at worst, you could undermine everything I was trying to do with him. I know you don't think much of what I do, Michelle, but having you here trying to thwart me at every turn would do the boy far more harm than good." Jane shrugged, trying to consign the feeling of failure away. "Now, that is enough on that subject since it is not going to happen. Were you looking for me?" Pensively, Michelle replied. "Mmmmm yes. I wanted to tell you I had decided to accept Dennis' invitation to the Harvest Festival Dance at his school, and wondered if you and Maria would like to help me go through my closet and pick an outfit." "Of course, dear. How about after dinner?" Michelle nodded her agreement and quietly left the room. Jane wished that the girl had not walked in on the end of that conversation or had not figured out just what the "project" had entailed. In any case, her initial response seemed to support Jane's worst fears. Too bad for the boy, she thought sadly, but her commitment to Michael had to come first. Excerpt: Michelle's Diary October 15 - Day 91 Dear Diary Jane's going to refuse to take on this student because of me. I guess I should have expected that she'd be asked to accept new soon-to-be-sissies while I am in residence, but it never even occurred to me. Jane's assessment of my reaction, I am afraid, was dead on the mark. I probably would have tried to thwart her - especially now that I know just how hard she worked to make those terrorizing outings of hers safe for us. And if the boy knew that there really was *no* danger, Jane's power to accomplish anything, bad *or* good, would be severely limited. Only now, I am not so sure what I think or what I would do. Heck, I wasn't sure when I walked out of the study. Jane was too depressed, and it did not seem to be the "oh darn, I won't have this boy to humiliate for my pleasure" type of disappointment. I think she is honestly sad that she won't be able to "help" this guy turn his life around. One thing I have come to believe without question is that Jane *believes* what she does with "her boys" really does help these guys. The question I have had to ask myself is "Am I the only one who, having been through her treatment, feels the way I do about Jane's little program?" I turned to the only three sources I know - Bill, Caro's husband, Eric and David. Evidently, I am. David, who knows this judge, said she was a square dealing lady who really tries to help the kids she has to deal with to the limits of her power. And he's already told me that he is grateful to Jane for taking a chance on him and helping him get past his problems. Bill, of course, is one of Jane's biggest fans. He'd have to be, or he couldn't live with what Caro does to help Jane. By the time I got through to Eric, I was more confused than ever. He just said, "Michael. Jane's program did not work for you. You had issues she did not expect and very firm plans for your future that were completely incompatible with the person Jane wanted to make of you. Not only that, but because of your attempt to take your own life, you never completed the program. So, even if you had completed her training and it still did not work for you, all that says is that you are the exception among us who proves the rule. She *has* helped the rest of us. Just as she is helping you now that she better understands what you need. She may come on like a stone cold bitch, but that is necessary for what she does, and covers, as I believe you are beginning to discover, a very concerned and caring spirit." Yes, Eric, I have figured that all out. Okay. . .so what do I do? I am obviously a problem. This judge, who thought enough of David to send him to Jane, thinks the same about this guy. If she can't send him to Jane, it is almost one hundred percent certain that he will go to jail, which statistics say is not going to help him. Everyone _else_ who knows about Jane thinks her evil games are useful and beneficial, at least they think that after the fact. If I do nothing, the guy goes to jail. I just don't know if I can do to another person what Jane made David do to me! I do _not_ need this in my life. Michelle Nash ~-----------~ When the evening meal was complete, Michelle spoke up. "Jane, could I please speak with you and Maria both? Not quite a time out, but almost?" A hint of a smile shadowed Jane's drawn features. "Well, that certainly is clear. What does that mean? You don't shift into Michael-mode?" Michelle nodded. "That's about it." "All right. Maria, get the coffee and join us in the sitting room." They sat on opposite sides of the coffee table, Jane and Maria on one side, Michelle on the other. Well, Jane mused, at least I can tell the players on each team. Us against her by all indications. Oh well. "All right, Michelle. This is your conference. What is on your mind?" "How important to your program is the senior student?" Whatever Jane had thought might be bothering her ward, that question had been completely unexpected. "Well. . . I am not really sure. I have only had two or three boys, including my very first, of course, who were here for their entire stay without an experienced girl to help guide them and to play good cop to my bad cop." "But Maria could do that "good cop" thing if it was necessary, couldn't she?" "As I have done in the past, I'll have you know, Ms. Nash" Maria answered pertly. "Jane. . . I don't really know if I can help you like. . . like Beth helped you with me, but I am willing to try. I figure I will be going back to school during the day while he's, . . . . or rather while *she's* being indoctrinated," Michelle decided not to say what she was really thinking, "So I wouldn't be here to hinder your efforts. If you plan it carefully, you could schedule the harshest of your little games so that my "good cop/guide" would be available afterwards. I could help him with his petti's and with his other girl things, like Beth did for me, too. I just don't think I could set him up the way you made Beth set me up." Jane had been completely unprepared for this type of compromise offer from her one failure, from the one she had almost driven to suicide. "You think you can do that, Michelle?" she asked softly. "Because if we accept this boy, he cannot have foreknowledge or nothing good will come of it." "I don't know, Jane, and that's the God's honest truth. If I don't see the really . . . nasty stuff," Michelle saw Jane wince at that, but had to give her the unvarnished truth, "I think I can help without hindering in the type of limited role I just proposed." Considering the possibilities, Jane nodded. It just might work. She could schedule most everything that really tore down the male ego and shattered his overblown sense of pride for times when Michelle was in school. There was only one thing. "It seems like it might be workable, Michelle. Except one of my most effective exercises that helps the new student realize I am serious is to punish the senior student. Recall Beth going into her Raggedy Anne little girl clothes, and being forced to play with little girl toys. Normally, I don't have to tell the senior about that - I just do it to them and both students get the object lesson. Could you, or maybe it is closer to *would* you let me do that to you? For some manufactured failure on your part, in order to guide my new student? I won't be able to tone it down. It will be as real as if I were really intent on punishing you, and you will have to take it like that for the lesson to be effective." Maria piped up. "It wouldn't be so bad, chicka. I promise to sneak you a snack after the junior goes to sleep when Jane orders you into your little girl jammies and sends you to bed without your supper." Michelle smiled at that. "I can handle it, Jane, just like I can handle going to a dance with a guy, or any of the other things I have done in the past months. I guess I have trusted you this far, I need to trust you again." And then a glimmer of a mischievous smile tilted her lips. "But I will be watching you, Jane. *Don't* enjoy it *too* much." Everyone laughed at that. "All right, I promise to try and hate every minute of it. Don't think I will succeed, but I promise that I will try." she took a breath. "And now, I think we should go up and go through your closet. We may need to go to Mrs. Franson's if you don't have a suitable outfit for the dance." Excerpt: Michelle's Diary October 15 - Day 91 Dear Diary I agreed to do my best to help her, and not to hinder her. Best I can do on this. Maybe, as an observer, I can be more objective about the process. Who knows? Jane told me that the harvest festival dance is actually sort of a "barn dance". Most of the girls go in jeans and plaid work shirts. That suits me just fine. My one concession to fashion will be a low pair of heels, since I do not have any feminine boots. The jeans will work just fine, since they will make it much harder for Dennis to take liberties. Michelle Nash. "Michelle?" Jane called to her from the front parlor. "Please sit down. I have a question for you. From our conversation last night, you have evidently decided to go back to school here as Michelle and not to return to St. Andrews?" "Yes, Aunt Jane. I will never again fit in at St. Andrews" and here she swept a hand down her very feminine presence, "now. And if I stay here, we've agreed I need to stay as Michelle." "Very well. I will arrange for appropriate physician's orders for you not to participate in gym class or have to go to their school nurse for medical examinations. Other than those two situations, I believe you are up to the task. Do you know what you will study?" "College prep - I am mostly done. One thing I did not do at St. A's was mess up academically. I could probably pass the equivalency tests right now, taking them cold." and then a bright smile lit Michelle's face. "And it seems to me, I was told I needed to take Home Ec." "Smartie. All right, I will arrange everything right after Christmas. In the meantime, I will do what I can to fix your records so that no one will question why you are showing up as a female." "Thanks, Aunt Jane. I really appreciate all your help." Jane watched her young charge sail out of the room with just a touch of melancholy. She never would have believed that Michael would be willing to meet her halfway on the subject of another student, and he had come more than halfway. Now he was blithely planning a life with her into the future. It sounded surprisingly nice to Jane. It had been a very long time since she'd had a family. Oh, she had Maria, but Maria did not *need* Jane. Michelle did. Jane hoped that in the fullness of time, she still would. Excerpt: Michelle's Diary October 20 - Day 96 Dear Diary I survived the dance, and Dennis survived his attempt to neck with me after the dance. But it was a near thing. Oh, the kissing was okay, and yes, it did make me hard again. However, when he got a little too cute, like trying to pull down the zipper of my jeans and then pulling my hand over onto his own hard-on, well, that ticked me off. I put my hand on his crotch all right - right where it would do the most good and squeezed rather hard. Then I just smiled, and asked him very sweetly to take his bloody hands off me, and to take me home. Which he did, lucky for him. He failed in his obligations as a gentleman to see me safely to my front door, too. Could not get the hell out of dodge fast enough once I was out the door and out of range of his family jewels. Jane would probably call this an "object lesson". Michael would probably have tried much the same stunt half a year ago. Would have tried to make the girl feel guilty that she had "teased him" and then not "followed through on her promises" Well, I did neither. Any "promises" were *only* in his fevered little brain. I cannot say I like the comparison between Dennis and Michael being quite so close. And I am NOT going out with that jerk again. I noticed tonight that there were several of the other girls from Wednesday's classes who arrived unescorted. They danced to their hearts' content, but when it came time to leave, they did not have to deal with any overactive male libidos. Hopefully, they will let me tag along with them next time. I think there is another dance a couple of weeks from now, and I really enjoyed the partying with the other kids. Live and learn. Being Michelle does have its little pitfalls. Michelle Nash. A Losing Season: Chapter 30. The Future and Decisions Excerpt: Michelle's Diary November 14/15 - Day 120/121 Dear Diary God, what a mess. I don't even know what to do or who I can turn to. Jane would just go ballistic, but there isn't anything she can do without exposing me. And nothing *really* happened, it was just the intent. That was more than enough. It just pisses me off that those two slugs are going to get away with it. Just the facts. I went to the Saturday dance with a bunch of the other girls from Caro's Wednesday class. Everything was fine - I was getting a few dances in and having fun. At about 10 pm I went to the ladies room. When I came out, I was ambushed and dragged off into an empty classroom by two guys in ski masks. I am 99 and 44 hundredths percent sure that one of them was Dennis. The other one held my wrists and forced me to my knees, while "Dennis" undid his jeans and pulled out his cock. They told me I was going to suck them both off, or they were going to have to hurt me. The one behind be was very strong, and I could not free my wrists from his grip, and the one I think was Dennis just started shaking himself in my face. I tried to turn away, and so the one behind leaned down so that he could make his threats in my ear without having to speak loudly enough to be heard outside the room. That was his big mistake. I snapped my head back so that the crown of my skull smashed right into his chin. He grip relaxed enough for me to free my wrists. Then I brought both of my forearms up into each of their groins as hard as I could. "Dennis" got the worst of it because his testicles were out hanging free where I could see them well enough to aim. The other one was wearing tight jeans that I think shielded him a little, but he still went down like a rock. I was out of there, running as fast as I could go, only to be met by Anna and the other girls who had come looking for me. They saw the state I was in, and took me back into the ladies room to clean me up and fix my face. I didn't tell them the truth. Only that two guys had shanghaied me, and pulled me away to steal kisses and to cop a few feels. One of them told a chaperone, but by the time he got there, the boys were long gone. Just as well, I guess. As I said before. What could we possibly do. Anyway, I managed to convince everyone that it was not really a problem - just one of those stupid adolescent things guys do. There was no harm really done, so could we just forget it? No harm. Right. Bullshit. I'm not bleeding and I did not *actually* get raped. It just *feels* that way. This *does* however constitute another of Jane's object lessons. At least, that is what I keep trying to tell myself. As Michelle, I am perceived to be weak and vulnerable in ways that I never would have been as Michael. Never mind that Michael and Michelle are just the same size, and just the same strength, Michael would *never* have been attacked this way. And Michelle *is* vulnerable. I have to deal with that, somehow. I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes, I see that boy waving his penis at my face. I wish I had marked the sons of bitches somehow, so that I could find them later on. I can't even be sure it *was* Dennis, and I have no idea who the accomplice was. So I cannot get even on my own. I seem to be spending a lot of my time worrying about getting even. If this was Dennis, that may have been his motivation, too. Getting even for my threatening and humiliating him after the Harvest Festival Dance. Guess that is an object lesson, too. Being on the receiving end of an "I'll show you" ploy is not very nice. Michelle Nash Jane watched Michelle covertly from the entrance to the sitting room. Something was bothering the girl and had been bothering her for several days, now. A spark had died in her, and Jane did not know why. "Michelle?" she asked, moving into the room. "Are you all right?" A sad smile answered her. "I am okay, Aunt Jane. Just feeling a little under the weather." "Do you want me to call Nurse Nora, Michelle?" Shaking her head, "No, thank you, Aunt Jane. I will be fine." "Do you want to talk about whatever is bothering you?" "Nothing's bothering me!" Michelle snapped with far too much vehemence. Brows lifted, Jane looked at her charge. "I see. Well, if you change your mind, let me know." The girl moved so quickly, Jane was not ready to find herself locked in a fierce embrace. "Thanks for caring, Aunt Jane." she whispered, and then ran from the room. Whatever was bothering her, Jane mused, it was definitely something she wanted to try to deal with alone. Jane had to respect that, but she hoped that the girl would be able to do so on her own. Excerpt: Michelle's Diary November 19 - Day 125 Dear Diary Jane is worried about me. I don't know what to tell her. Last night, I slept without nightmares, although Michelle does sometimes get lost in thought thinking about it. Even that has happened fewer times today. I don't know why I am coming out of it so quickly. That is not the way my books on psychology say women recover from this type of experience. So, maybe it is the part of me that is mostly Michael that is responsible, but I think I am coming to grips with this incident, and starting to put it behind me. Or is it just that Michael is able to ignore how he feels and that is, to some extent, shielding Michelle who is feeling very used, dirty and frightened? Maybe both. Of course, if Michael ever slips and is forced to confront these feelings, it could really get ugly. God, I was *so* scared! Still, Michael was able to protect himself, and in the process was able to protect Michelle. That means a lot to me, when I allow myself to take a "male" view of the incident. That was pretty hard to do for a couple of days when the memories were so overwhelmingly fresh. But Michael "helps". Maybe this is part of becoming Jane's better balanced personality - in some situations the male side of me is better able to cope, and in others, the female is the stronger one. It is a matter of being both, and relying on both to see me over the rough spots. Each to his or her own strengths and abilities? Makes sense to me, but I still think this is going to bother me for a very long time. Hell, I even bought a can of pepper spray yesterday, not that it would have been of any benefit the way those two assholes got to me. Still, as long as I can let Michael deal with the worst of it, I can move on and I can function as Michelle. Wonder what Eric or Dr. Spinelli would have to say about all this? Probably say I am rationalizing and internalizing and that it is going to bite me in the butt eventually. Well, it is my butt, and one thing Jane has taught me. I have to try to do things as best that I can. In any event, I am not going to any more of those damned dance classes. Good ole Denny's mom might object to seeing her little darling writhing in the fetal position on her nice pretty dance floor trying to find his balls. Michelle Nash ~--------------~ Jane kept casting looks across the breakfast table where *Michael* was sitting, calmly eating his preferred morning meal of yogurt and cereal. She did not mean to be rude, it was just that every time she glimpsed the young man out of the corner of her eye, it surprised her. She simply wasn't used to having Michael at her table instead of Michelle. The day was Thanksgiving, and Jane had planned a huge holiday feast with all of her local friends attending. After reviewing the guest list, Jane had realized that everyone of her invited guests was someone who was already in on her and Michelle's secret. That being the case, and since no one else was likely to visit on a family holiday, Jane had offered to let her ward attend as Michael. Michael pretended to be unaware of the looks he was getting from both Jane and Maria, just as he pretended not to notice the lack of their normal breakfast banter. Maria, who usually found something to tease Michelle about, had only set Michael's breakfast in front of him. She hadn't even asked him if he wanted anything different for a change. As for Jane, she kept her nose buried in the paper when she wasn't trying to avoid staring at him. She did not read him a single amusing line or share any of the comics with him as she always did with Michelle. It was a bloody uncomfortable experience. It had not felt like this in Tahoe, but then, Tahoe was neutral ground. This house was Jane's private world, and while Michelle was a part of that world, Michael was not. After finishing his breakfast, Michael excused himself, received only a nod from Jane, and went into the sitting room to read. Unfortunately, the entire morning went that way, with everyone who showed up. The only exception was Bill, Caro's husband. Sandy and Brenda Franson had stared at him in open mouthed disbelief when Michael had met them at the door. Caro had wrinkled her brow questioningly, but at least she had broken down and given him a greeting hug. However, the absolute worst part of the morning had been in the kitchen when he'd offered to help with something. He had been very graciously and very firmly rebuffed and told to go watch football with Bill. Michael had not felt so alone since David had left for college. A very moody Michael sat stolidly in the recreation room, staring at the television and seeing nothing. "It's not you, you know." an amused Bill said gently. "It's them." Michael snapped out of his fugue to look up at the older man. "I don't know what you mean." "I saw the look on your face when Caro did not immediately hug you as she does when she greets Michelle. And I saw your dejection when they chased you out of the kitchen just now." Michael turned his head away, afraid he would lose control and begin to cry. "Like I said, it's their problem, not yours. While they have all become very fond of Michelle, they just don't know how to relate to Michael. I don't want to hurt your feelings by saying this, but they've forgotten that *Michael* is no longer the insensitive clod who originally arrived here. They don't realize that their unthinking rejection of you has hurt your feelings." "How do you see that so clearly?" Michael asked, unnerved by Bill's perception. "Been there, done that, got the bra and the pantihose to prove it." he quipped, drawing a laugh from Michael. "*They'd* be hurt if I pointed it out, or told them how I was feeling. And I don't want to do that to them." "So don't. It is their problem. Don't let it ruin your holiday." Michael became silent at that point, as he ran through what Bill had said, over and over in his mind. He did not want to hurt any of them, but this *was* going to ruin his holiday. And probably theirs as well, he conceded. "Excuse me, Bill. I need to go get something." Bill gave him a wave, and then smiled broadly at the retreating back of Michael Nash. ~--------------~ "I think I am going to have to leave before dinner, Jane." Brenda Franson was saying as the women sat around Maria's table, finishing up the hors d'oerves for today's feast. "I really need to go to the shop and finish the last minute details for my After Thanksgiving rush crowd." Jane was about to protest, when another voice spoke up first. "Please don't, Mrs. Franson. At least stay for dinner, and then, if you really need to go work at your shop, I will go with you to help you make up for the lost time." The women all turned to the kitchen door to see Michelle standing there wearing a green and red dress that Jane had bought her for the holidays. "Michael?" she asked, "but what are you doing in . . " "Michelle, Jane." her ward corrected. "Do you see any Michaels around here? How about it, Sandy? Do you?" Sandra burst into laughter, and was soon joined by the other women. "Hell no, girlfriend. Not a sign of one." Michelle then entered the kitchen from which Michael had so recently been banished, rubbing her hands together theatrically. "*Now*, is there any way I can help?" she asked plaintively. Five sets of hands reached out to drag her to the table. It was a great holiday, the best Michelle *or* Michael could ever remember. Excerpt: Michelle's Diary November 28 - Day 134 Dear Diary What a wonderful day. After I made the switch back to Michelle, anyway. Bill was right. They weren't prepared to deal with Michael's presence. Brenda almost left, but she stayed the whole day once I was Michelle again. Just another thing I would never have believed back in July, but today it was important to me that all of Jane's friends relax and have a good time. And for that to happen, I needed to be who they expected me to be. Actually, I gained far more than I lost on the deal. Michael could have watched *every* football game, but he would never have been accepted into Maria's kitchen domain. That was special. Besides, Brenda is one of those people who puts the word "fan" in "fanatic". I got to watch all the football I wanted once we'd eaten and finished the cleanup. So I guess I am a different person than I was. Even as Michael, because the BJT (Before Jane Thompson) Michael would not have cared a fig for the comfort of others. Most especially, he would not have given a damn for the comfort of Jane's little cadre and *certainly* would never have willingly become Michelle to ease their tension. And, I also guess that, strange and impossible as that may have seemed in July, these women have become Michelle's friends, too. Which was the primary reason that I changed. The only real down-check on my day is that Michelle still wears that darned body shaper and *that* tool of torture most *definitely* makes Michael's eyes bigger than Michelle's belly. Oh well, everything tasted wonderful - what little I could get down. And, I am not as likely to get assigned extra crunches and extra minutes on the StairMaster by Sonja after my weekly Monday weigh-in. Every silver lining has a cloud. Or something like that. It was a grand day! Michelle Nash Jane sat in her den, sipping a brandy and watching as the flames in her fireplace danced and flickered. She was so incredibly proud of that boy. She'd realized far too late that it had been a mistake to allow Michael attend the party instead of Michelle. However, once she'd given her okay, it would have been churlish to order him back into skirts just because her circle of friends did not know what to do around the boy they'd all had a hand in making over into a girl. But the young man (not a boy any longer, Jane reminded herself sternly) had sensed what was wrong and had cared enough to do something about it. He had come so far in the past months; had learned so much more than he'd ever known, had matured so far beyond the juvenile delinquent who had been suspended from his school and then deposited on her doorstep by his Mother. She just wished he had come far enough to turn away from his stated goals as Michelle. But it was probably too late for that now, anyway. 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