Message-ID: <13526eli$9807311256@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: X-Good-Line-Length: yes Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 297- July 29 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: X-Is-Review: yes Celestial Reviews 297 - July 29, 1998 Note: A hurricane came unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to 5-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do; so for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, and longed for his old life, while he fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. One day, as he was lying on the beach, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, rowing directly toward him. In disbelief, he shouted to her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" As she brought her boat onto the shore, the woman replied, "I rowed from the other side of the island." Her nipples pressed against her shirt as she added, "I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he said. "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many are there? You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up; nothing did." He was confused. "Then how did you get the rowboat?" "Oh, simple," replied the woman. "I made the rowboat out of materials that I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." "B-B-But that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?" "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the other side of the island there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. "But enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?" Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time. "Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said. After a few minutes of rowing she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked to the shore he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please; would you like a drink?" "No, no thank you," he said, still dazed. "I can't take any more coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened onto its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he mused. "What next?" When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines - strategically positioned - and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know..." She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean--?" he replied, "I can check my e-mail from here?" Second note: I get swamped with questions regarding "how can I find a story you reviewed" and "how do I get my stories reviewed?" With Bitbard's help I now post links to almost all the stories I review. If those don't help you, I suggest www.dejanews.com and the archives at http://www.asstr.ml.org/mainframe.html and http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/windex.html. If you want to maximize the chances of getting a story reviewed, send me a copy by email when you post it. I try very hard to review only stories that are posted to the newsgroup - stories that anyone else can find if my review inspires them to look them up. In addition, I feel I have the right to review absolutely any story that is posted on a.s.s. or a.s.s.m. I'll normally honor a request to skip over a story; but I often go through the posted stories and look for offerings by new authors. My reviews of these stories help readers know where to look for reading that suits their tastes. Third note: Top Ten Things Men SHOULDN'T Say Out Loud in Victoria's Secret: 10. Does this come in children's sizes? 9. No thanks. Just sniffing. 8. I'll be in the fitting room going blind. 7. Mom will love this. 6. Oh, the size won't matter. She's inflatable. 5. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here. 4. Will you model this for me? 3. The Miracle what? This is better than world peace! 2. 45 bucks?? You're just gonna end up NAKED anyway!! And the NUMBER ONE thing that a man should never say out loud in Victoria's Secret: 1. Oh Honey, you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that. Fourth note: I've had a couple of reviewers retire recently. If anyone would like to apply for their jobs, please contact me. Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste ===================== Celestial Reviews: ===================== "Cloth Doll" by Mat Twassel (airport incident) 10, 10, 10 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13083.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371795900 "Confessions" by John Galt (mild bdsm) 10, 8, 7 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13332.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582610 "Remembering When" by Anne Arbor (emerging sexuality) 10, 10, 10 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13330.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582605 "Makeover" by Vickie Tern (transgender) 10, 8, 8 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12854.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12855.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322580 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322588 "The Beginning Of a Life" by LeAnna (counseling session) 10, 8, 8 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13397.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=375043480 "Joint Therapy" by Sarlife (counseling session) 8, 6, 6 http://www.qz.to/erotica/asmm/Year98/13331.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582609 "Passing the Test" by Rock Hancock (sex-slave training) 8, 6, 4 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12684.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=368291063 "Hot Tub" by Mr. J (exhibitionism) 7, 5, 5 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=375811840 "Nightmare" by Mark Aster (mild bdsm) 10, 9, 9 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13386.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374919921 "Grabbing the Brass Ring" by Unknown Author (dysfunctional sex) 8, 4, 3 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374733562 ===================== Guest Reviews: ===================== "Biochemistry" by J.R.D. (transgender). Myers: 6.5 -- Prequel -- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059459 01 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059492 02 -- Biochemistry I -- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059444 -- Biochemistry 2-- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059407 01 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059418 02 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059434 03 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059476 04 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373606467 05 "The Shed" by The Big T (voyeurism). Nick: 9, 10, 9 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12423.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=365167370 "Thank You" by Emil (sexual gratitude). LeAnna: 6, 2, 2 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12787.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322287 "Crazy Tomas" By Hawk Richards (slice of sex life). Dragon: 9,8,8 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13196.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373254359 "The Girl from the Village" by Paris Waterman (filthy sex). Poison: 10, 8, 8 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286386 01 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286394 02 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286397 03 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286405 04 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373280504 05 "A Slavegirl of Rome" by Bad Badbad (Roman sex). Gandmar : 10, 10, 10 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13321.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374274047 "A Dip in the Lake" by Trisnics (sex on the beach). Dart: 4, 4, 4 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12558.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=366844430 ===================== Reposted Reviews: ===================== * "Camara, Lady of the Sword" by Tom Bombadil (heroic fantasy) 10, 10, 10 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4180.txt 01 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4309.txt 02 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4384.txt 03 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4533.txt 04 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4749.txt 05 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4930.txt 06 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/5107.txt 07 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/5264.txt 08 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/5539.txt 09 * "Inger" by Friar Dave (romance & emerging adolescence) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=292720368 01 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=293046376 02 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=293565808 03 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294776224 04 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294761113 05 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294729804 06 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294734507 07 * "Homeward Bound" by Dafney Dewitt (sexual revenge) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=185795756 * "Feet Are Neat" by Mike Hunt (shoe store sex) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=239515599 ================== <> ================== "Cloth Doll" by Mat Twassel (Mmtwassel@aol.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13083.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371795900 This is not a sexually explicit story. The closest this story comes to full frontal nudity is the passage that is in the book that the two leading adult characters are coincidentally both reading. The woman spends some time kissing the bare ass of a doll whose name is probably not Ditty; but if that gives you a hard-on, you should see a therapist. This is just a good, morally uplifting story about a slice of life in an airport. It won't influence your sex life directly; but indirectly this story will make you better in the sack the next time you go there with someone you love. Lots of good stories can have that effect. Ratings for "Cloth Doll" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Confessions" by John Galt (paladin_cs@email.msn.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13332.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582610 About six months ago I wrote a story within my review of DG's "The Call of Desire." In that story I waxed eloquent about how I made love to my husband while I was talking to another woman on the phone. I invited other authors to pick up the story, and several of you did so. This is a delayed response to my invitation. In this story I {the fictional Celeste, that is} confess to my husband that Rose had stayed on the phone line and had been giving me instructions while I gave my husband a blowjob and then let him take me in the ass. My husband responds {in the present story} with some mild bdsm. It's pretty sexy stuff, and I suspect that those of you who get high on bdsm will enjoy it even more than I did. However, since this story involves my fictional persona, I can't help personalizing it a little and responding as I would in real life. If I confessed something problematic to my husband, he damned well had better either (1) forgive me, (2) see a counselor with me, (3) be kidding when he "punishes" me, or (4) some combination of the above. I really don't get high at all on the infliction of pain, even if it's "only" a spanking. If he wants to "punish" me by making me do something that more prudish people would consider to be dirty - in other words, punish me by giving me pleasure - I'd feel comfortable with that. But possibly because of my work with people who have been abused, I would have a hard time liking a person who thought it necessary to hurt me, and I'd have a hard time making love with a person I didn't like. This is still a good story. But the author forced me to personalize it, and that personalization affects the ratings. Ratings for "Confessions" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7 "Remembering When" by Anne Arbor (AnneArbor@my-dejanews.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13330.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582605 I don't know what possesses lovers to demand that their partners tell them about their "first time." I think we deserve a little privacy in our memories. And maybe our original lover deserves some privacy and respect too. This isn't a biggie to me. The no-pain rule in the previous review and no- fantasizing-about-close-friends-whose-lives-we-may-complicate-while-we-screw- up-our-own rules are much more important. I just think comparisons to other people - even implicit comparisons - can be unpleasant. They can come back and haunt you ten months later, when somebody decides to say something unpleasant and digs up dirt from the past. Anyway, in this story Anne describes her gradual escalation with her boyfriend through the final stages of heavy petting and into intercourse. It's very sexy stuff. Ratings for "Remembering When" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7 "Makeover" by Vickie Tern (VickieTern@aol.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12854.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12855.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322580 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322588 The man in this story married his wife without her knowing he was a crossdresser. That used to bother her, but suddenly she has embraced his lifestyle. Why the sudden change? Let's be accurate here. This man is not gay. He says at the beginning of the story that it is when he is dressed as a female that he is most ardently devoted to women. Uh-oh - 1445 words into the story we discover that his wife has not only agreed to let him crossdress, but she has also arranged for him to have a most splendid makeover and has hired an escort named Eric to take him to the ball. In Vickie's stories this usually spells penetration for the crossdresser's ass. When the man {known as "Jenny" when he's dressed as a female} returns from his date with Eric, he finds his wife sleeping in the arms of a naked man with whom she is sharing an obvious afterglow after a night of apparently riotous sex. What's a guy to do under the circumstances? He didn't dare enact the outraged husband of an adulterer, a victim of infidelity who has just caught his wife and her lover in the very act. Not dressed and looking the way he was. And so they make polite talk until the wife goes to the bathroom, and then he sucks her lover's cock. Enthusiastically. Then he sends his wife away; and while she talks on the phone, he has the other guy give it to him up the ass. After a while, we conclude that this is a tale of revenge. But who is revenging him/herself on whom? Actually, it's not revenge at all, but rather a gracious way to rearrange their lives so that everyone will be happy. My initial reaction to this story was, "Gimme a break!" Then I looked back over it, and I was forced to say, "Well, I guess this DOES make sense. Given these assumptions...." But those are mighty big assumptions. This isn't a story for everyone; but it is a highly creative story for people who enjoy fairly complex transgender plots. Ratings for "Makeover" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 "The Beginning Of a Life" by LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13397.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=375043480 This story is a snippet from a counseling session in which a sexually confused person is discussing with her therapist her present and prospective relationships. It's an example of good counseling. Indeed, many people could probably derive good vicarious advice from this story and apply it to their own lives. One problem that I had with this story is that it reminded me of a computer program called Eliza that somebody showed me several years ago. Eliza is programmed to simulate a non-directive {Rogerian} counselor. The program keys on certain words and just feeds the clients ideas back to him/her. If the computer finds no key word, it goes into a random response pattern, including such techniques as saying, (1) "I see." (2) "Why do you think you {insert most of client's sentence}?" or (3) "Have you ever thought of getting drunk over this?" It was that last part that convinced me that Eliza was a hoax; somebody was making fun of non-directive counselors. So when I read this story, I couldn't help but think of Eliza, and I was reassured when the shrink said, (1) "I see." and (2) "Why do you think you {insert most of client's sentence}?" But it was kind of like waiting for the other shoe to fall: I kept waiting for her to say (3) "Have you ever thought of getting drunk over this?" My reaction was, of course, irrational and irreverent. Although this is not a fully developed story, it is a good description of an interesting and productive counseling session. By the way, one of the great tragedies of American education is that counselors in our schools almost never conduct counseling sessions like the one described here. Kids certainly have sexual problems that need discussing and most schools have counselors who are as capable as the person described in this story. The problem is that these counselors are so preoccupied with drawing up schedules and mailing transcripts that they have no time whatsoever to counsel people with emotional problems. And so kids get counseled by other kids or by watching the soaps or reading this newsgroup. Check it out. This is something worth getting pissed off about. Ratings for "The Beginning Of a Life" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 "Joint Therapy" by Sarlife (Sarlife@aol.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/asmm/Year98/13331.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582609 The main problem with this story is that it's difficult to decide how seriously to take it. I mean, a professional counselor simply would not permit one client to fuck another in a group therapy session. The counselor would call security. If nothing else, his insurance company would require him to do so. However, I COULD imagine this happening in an uncensored version of Bob Newhart, with Bob responding in a flustered way while two clients go at it with vigor. However, in even in that case I'd still like to see the grammar cleaned up and some more personality injected into the story. Ratings for "Joint Therapy" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 6 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6 "Passing the Test" by Rock Hancock (rock_hancock@hotmail.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12684.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=368291063 Steph {"36D-24-34. 5'08", 110 lbs., 28 years old. Green eyes, blond hair."} has been studying to become a sex slave. Now she must pass her final exam. She gives the Master's Big Boy her best blowjob. The master has a nine- incher. Steph realizes she has her work cut out for her, which would possible frighten Master, were he aware of the painful Bobbit pun in the main clause of this sentence. But then Mistress comes with a ping-pong paddle rather than a knife or scissors. Steph has been a bad girl, because she did not obtain Mistress's permission to suck her husband's cock. And so it goes. If you get high on predictable, mechanical sex-slave stories, this one is for you. However, if it's spontaneity and creativity that you want, I'd suggest that you look elsewhere. Ratings for "Passing the Test" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 6 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4 "Hot Tub" by Mr. J (mr_j@my-dejanews.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=375811840 The grammar and point-of-view bothered me a little with this story; but as I approached the midpoint, I was beginning to find it interesting. The notion of a woman masturbating in front of a guy across from her in a hot tub while a large number of people frolicked nearby was becoming a real turn-on. Then I find the sentence, "You never could have started again, once you stopped, without my commanding it." Why the hell not? "Oh shit!" says I, "This is one of those sex slavery stories." People who write second-person ("you") stories need to realize that they are radically restricting their audience. Once I was told in this story that "I" had to be a mindless robot fulfilling the whims of my Master, my pussy dried up. I think my problem is that I've done something close to this - roaring orgasm while people milled about, unaware of what was going on. It was a much better story when it happened to me without the domination theme. The thrill was in sharing a secret, not in being a sextoy with essentially no personality. People who are into domination might read this story differently than I did. The specific problem that I see here is that this viewpoint is being foisted onto me when I don't even want it. This would be a good story without the domination theme. Believe me, I know. Ratings for "Hot Tub" Athena (technical quality): 7 Venus (plot & character): 5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5 "Nightmare" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13386.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374919921 "You have to promise me," she says, "that, between moonrise and dawn, no matter what I say or what I do, or how hard I beg, you won't untie me or loosen the straps." What would your response be? Some men would probably ask to see the fine print. This could be a serious source of temptation for some guys. Very serious. Ratings for "Nightmare" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Grabbing the Brass Ring" by Unknown Author {You gotta label these damned things in the story itself!}. http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374733562 What we have here is a story-by-innuendo. The narrator is an apparently young woman who has been trying to get her act together after a string of dysfunctional events. We learn from her meandering memories that she has recently fucked the brains out of a pair of twins, who left her after several months for other women, and that as a six-year-old she had crawled into bed with her grandpa to comfort him when his wife had died and that she had performed a similar service for her brother several years later. The narrative evolves in a very confused fashion - I guess this is supposed to convey the sense of confusion that this screwed-up person is feeling as she retells her story. She presents herself as a bastion for good in the lives of the many people she has "helped" by having unusual sexual relationships with them. But while she's spent her whole life giving, she's never had the chance to "grab the brass ring" for herself. Yeah, right. I suspect the author had a point here, but he lost it amidst the convoluted attempts of the narrator to rationalize her sexual dysfunctions. As it stands, this is just a weird story that I don't recommend at all. Ratings for "Grabbing the Brass Ring" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 4 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3 "Biochemistry" by J.R.D. (jrdss@micronet.net). Guest review by Dave Myers. -- Prequel -- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059459 01 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059492 02 -- Biochemistry I -- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059444 -- Biochemistry 2-- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059407 01 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059418 02 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059434 03 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059476 04 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373606467 05 This is a longish boy-becomes-girl story with a kidnapping theme. From there, you can usually predict the rest of most TG stories, but this one has a couple good twists that set it apart somewhat. Still, there is little psychological development, and once the twists in the plot have been noted, things are back to usual in the predictability department. Unfortunately, it follows the lead of so many before, and focuses intently on body parts, especially those that are grown due to drug treatment (e.g., DD boobs). Some little bits of D/S are served adequately, and are the most exciting parts. The ending is strained. {Celestial note: The reviewer read and reviewed only the main story. I am posting the links for the Prequel and Sequel for the convenience of readers who want to see "the whole story."} Rating for "Biochemistry": 6.5 "The Shed" by The Big T (gthomas@rocketmail.com). Review by Nick e-mail Nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk. http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12423.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=365167370 This takes me back. I remember watching our next door neighbour hanging out her washing at the same age as the boy in this story (11). Since this was the short skirt era (it still is, I suppose), I was treated to a good view of her "equipment" as she bent to retrieve washing from the basket. Although she was wearing panties, the folds, shapes and structures were all discernible, and it was the first time I'd ever seen a mature female in this way! I was fascinated and.... ...but I digress (Well? Celeste has been known to do it, so why shouldn't I!) This is a story about an 11-year-old boy who finds himself in a position to observe the girl next door through binoculars. In so doing he discovers for the first time the pleasures of sexual arousal at the forbidden sight of the female form. The writer tells us it's fictional, but it's certainly written in the style of someone who knows what he's talking about, and of course that's what gives it its quality. For me, though, it didn't quite capture the atmosphere of his discovery, although a good attempt was made. Perhaps too much emphasis was placed on what he was seeing, rather than the effect on him. My ratings for this are: Technique 8 Well written, but maybe the writer needs to have a look at what he is trying to achieve. Plot and Character 8 Good, the mother and the boys reaction to her were well-drawn. Appeal to me 9. Adjusting for Celeste Athena (Technique) 9 Venus (Plot and character) 10 Appeal 9 "Thank You" by Emil. Guest review by LeAnna. http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12787.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322287 I have half a suspicion this is an old Penthouse Variations letter, recycled. It has that same breathless, rush-to-the-next-position lack of character development. The other half suspicion is that this is an old story dusted off and reposted, because (thanks to various factors, Celeste not the least) new stories posted here are showing more and more sophistication in the art of writing all the time. And this little beastie is as sophisticated as a shit pie in the kisser. Quickie synopsis: Businessman (male) gives good friend's (female) friend (also female) a job. In appreciation the two women give him a tour of all their local pleasure spots. This one's not even bad enough to be good, it's just very . . . mediocre. Although, to give it its due, in a few places it approaches high camp badness out of sheer impossibility. At one point in the festivities, our hero is thrusting deeply into one woman at the same time as he's licking her clit. Now I've known some limber people, but this one I'd have to see to believe. Naw, second thought, I don't think I want to; the mental image of a human inchworm makes me a little queasy. As does the cock-to-ass-to-mouth scenario. Never understood the appeal of that one. I didn't like it, I didn't believe it, in the end I couldn't even read it. Give this one a pass. Ratings for "Thank You" Athena (writing quality): 6 Aphrodite (erotic quality): 2 Apollo (appeal to reviewer): 2 "Crazy Tomas" By Hawk Richards (hawkrich@ix.netcom.com). Reviewed by Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13196.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373254359 I'm torn about this story. In some ways I liked it, and in others I was left frustrated. Crazy Tomas is a bum, we've all seen them, and this story appears to be a quick glimpse into his life, complete with watching people on the street, bumping into a prostitute, and the subsequent actions that one might expect from such an encounter. I think that the author was trying to focus on Tomas and subtly expand upon his character. Tomas came across as realistic, while the rest of the city came across as more surreal. At least it did to me. Hawk does do a good job of creating imagery and atmosphere. I am guessing that this was the intent of the author - seeing the city through the eyes of Crazy Tomas. However, I was left a little frustrated, wanting to know more about his surroundings. For instance, his encounter with the prostitute was precipitated by him chasing, kindly I think, a grief stricken woman. The woman is described beautifully from a physical standpoint (and I don't mean 36-24-36), but we never do find out why the woman was crying, nor why Tomas was truly after her. We are left to guess and I suppose that it is realistic. The woman would hardly stop for the bum no matter how kind his intentions, especially if grief-stricken, but *I* still wanted to know why she was crying. It struck me as a waste to set that up and then not use it. A view settled a little more clearly inside his head about his motivations would have been nice. It kind of nagged at me, and distracted me a little from the rest of the story. There were a few other small details that I wanted expanded, like how he had enough money for the prostitute, why he wanted a prostitute in the first place and perhaps why he was out on the street. Given the intent, focus and short length of the story, I can live with not knowing. It didn't detract from the story that much. Hawk's physical descriptions of the people are full, though I wanted a better look at how the characters were driven. The writing is clean and readable. I was hooked early. I only noticed a couple of small mistakes in the English. But overall they were minor. It looks like a sentence was rewritten into a different view during proof-reading leaving a "she her" where there ought to have only been a "her". That one distracted me. A few other sentences had dropped words. And I believe that there is a difference between "scaring" and "scarring". Taken together, it wasn't enough to take more than a point off for. The small errors didn't distract me too much. At least it *was* proofed. It wouldn't take much work to bring the technical mark up to a 10. The sex wasn't remarkable, but it didn't have to be. It wasn't really overdone, and was appropriate for the encounter. Overall, I wanted to see a touch more character insight and detail. Perhaps a few more small details to explain some elements of the plot would have been nice. The prose was solid and well written, and interesting. Overall, I liked this story. If the characterisation was more solid, I would have gladly given this story higher appeal and character marks. I'm going to guess at what Celeste may have given this story. The appeal rating is entirely my own. Ratings for "Crazy Tomas": Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 8 Crimson (appeal to reviewer): 8 "The Girl from the Village" by Paris Waterman (the_panda@hotmail.com) Guest reviewed by Poison Ivan (poisoniv1@hotmail.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13200.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13201.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13202.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13203.txt http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13205.txt --- http://x12.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286386 http://x12.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286394 http://x12.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286397 http://x12.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286405 http://x12.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373280504 In many ways, this is an ugly story. In the first half, the characters have bad breath and they haven't bathed recently. They fuck on a filthy, shit- strewn porch. The only reason they aren't disgusted with one another is each thinks they probably smell worse than the other does. Bruno and Ginger are the filthy couple, and while theirs isn't the prettiest fuck you'd ever want to see, at least they get off in a big way. The first half of this story documents Bruno and Ginger getting together for the first time. The story takes a turn when, in the heat of the moment, Ginger blurts out that she wants to be with another woman. Bruno gets pissed off, and Ginger receives a backhand to the face. It turns out that Ginger doesn't mind being hit, and Bruno apologizes. In fact, Bruno is so sorry he volunteers to help Ginger find a lesbian to have sex with. The lesbian they find isn't the nicest gal you'd ever want to meet, either. But at least this time everyone took baths first. The lesbian sex has an undercurrent of humiliation that sometimes made me uncomfortable. "The Girl from the Village" is not the kind of story I'd read for arousal, which probably explains why I thought the very long sex scenes were a little too long. And there were a few other minor problems. Ginger's confession that she wants to be with a woman is so unexpected that it didn't seem believable. And most of the story is told from Bruno's point of view (which was great), but there were a few short shifts to other perspectives that I found mildly distracting. That said, this story has a lot going for it. In more than fifty pages, I only noticed a handful of grammar or spelling errors. To this non-New Yorker, the characters speak with accents that sound real, which is very rare in ASS stories. Paris Waterman does an excellent job creating simple characters with simple drives. The sense of disgust in the first half is built up admirably. There are many nice descriptions along the way. The author has story-telling talent. If your kinks have something to do with filth and mild humiliation, you may like this story a lot. Ratings for "The Girl from the Village" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Poison (appeal to reviewer): 8 "A Slavegirl of Rome" by Bad Badbad (badbadbad98@hotmail.com). Guest Review by Mary Jorsay Gandmar (maryjg@finebody.com) http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13321.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374274047 Gore Vidal's "Caligula" aside, the only other genuinely historical erotic fiction (it was too good to be merely pornographic), I know of are "The Loins of Amon" and "Roman Orgy," both by Marcus van Heller. The stories were terrific, with lots of action, sufficient plotting, economical yet graphic characterization and, best of all, lots of extraordinarily imaginative sex. I don't know if van Heller's books are still in print - I hope they are, for they are a far better read than most in the genre. Vidal's "Caligula", of course, is on another plane - relentless depravity from page one, but that was the whole point, I imagine, and, being the writer he is, superbly done. There is a sequence in "Caligula" in which the little emperor, increasingly demented now, commands the patrician nobility to make their ladies available for the delectation of the plebeians. This is exciting enough; but it goes further, and a game is developed. A partition is erected with hole punched through it at an appropriate height. On one side there is the man with his erection; on the other, something that can only be "soft, warm and wet" - a mouth, a cunt, an anus; and on neither side is the identity revealed. "A Slavegirl Of Rome", while not quite in this league (not yet, anyway), holds great promise. It has a scene not unlike the one from Caligula I've described, except that the teenage girl here is in stocks (her hands and neck), while her body is bent over a horizontal bar and her ankles are lashed to pegs knocked into the ground. She is being offered as a spectacle - the game is to see who can devise the most horrific means of taking her virginity. The story ends at this point, just when a male reader might be forgiven for being in a state of painful tumescence, positively salivating. It is horrific, yes, all of it, but sensual and sexy nonetheless if you have the stomach for a degree of violence in sex. One doesn't quite know how bad things are going to get next - I found myself hoping for a knight in shining armor, actually. Up to this point, it's not really a story, more a preface, perhaps the first part of a first chapter. The plot, so far, is just this - a slave girl is being auctioned, she gets picked up by the Emperor, and is put on display... and it ends at this point, awaiting the next installment. What makes the story unusually good is the polished literary quality of the writing. There are a few typos, but these are not obtrusive. The language is smooth, felicitous, and it strives for a somewhat Biblical style. When Celeste sent me the story it was just one long paragraph - and I carved it up as I thought fit. Now each paragraph begins with an And ... This gives the story a rushing, breathless quality, and yet preserves a certain detachment, not unlike a Biblical narrative. There is nothing contrived about it. The writer's "voice" perfectly matches the idiom. There is an impressive vocabulary and grasp of the quotidian aspects of Roman life here, brought out subtly, without excessive emphasis, just enough to lend atmosphere. But it's not only the place and the period and setting and the props. The emotions of the teenage girl are brought forcefully into play - and here lies the true power of the tale. The author makes no attempt to get into the girl's mind and to write "from the inside out". Instead, he seems to be circling around her, rather like a bird of prey, or one of the auctioneers or men in the crowd, observing and telling us what he sees. The descriptions are quickly detailed - indeed, there is no visible emotion, no apparent reaction left untold - but it remains consciously reportage, cold and at a remove. This is what happened, and then this, and then such and such. In the hands of a lesser writer, this technique might have yielded mere aridity. Not so here. There is a truly powerful evocation of an enormous amount of horror and empathy with the wretched creature who is being subjected to such torment - I felt a physical reaction to this writing, a quickening of the pulse, a revulsion I could not resist, mesmerized by the horror. The author's own feelings do not intrude; the reader is allowed to give full reign to his own emotions. The reader is the plaything. This is enormously skillful writing - and it would be a shame were the story to stop at this point. Athena (Technical Quality) : 10 Venus (Plot & Character) : 10 Mary (Appeal to reviewer) : 10 "A Dip in the Lake" by Trisnics (trisnics@hotmail.com). Guest review by Dart. http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12558.txt --- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=366844430 A young couple, man and woman, are spending the summer touring national parks before returning to college in the fall. After a morning of hiking, he wants to go biking and she wants to go to the beach. So, after making plans to meet for dinner, they separate in order that each may pursue their favored activity. She's on the beach reading when she's approached by a beautiful woman. A woman with great taste in literature, since she had just finished reading the book the narrator is three-quarters of the way through. They bond quickly, and soon they're in the water having a delightful sexual experience. However, their watery location does inhibit eating, so they swim out to a vacant diving- platform in order to indulge their desire to become more intimately acquainted. They're back on the beach and getting dressed when the narrator realizes she has to rush to make her dinner engagement. Needless to say, she invites her new friend to accompany her, and, not surprisingly, her new friend accepts the invitation. It was, we are told by the narrator, the best evening of her vacation. I didn't especially care for this story. The plot was reasonable, but it needed more flesh, more detail, and the characters had, for me, no reality. Also, it would have been thoughtful of the writer, if he would have reread the story, at least once, with the help of a spell-checker. Ratings for "A Dip in the Lake" Athena (technical quality): 4 Venus (plot & character): 4 Dart (appeal to reviewer): 4 * "Camara, Lady of the Sword" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4180.txt 01 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4309.txt 02 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4384.txt 03 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4533.txt 04 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4749.txt 05 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4930.txt 06 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/5107.txt 07 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/5264.txt 08 http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/5539.txt 09 This story purports to be an ancient epic about Lady Camara of Tyberion (pronounced Ka-ma'-rah, similar to cabana), a swordsman, archer, and minor mage, who is skilled in unarmed combat as well as with many weapons. She is highly knowledgeable in diverse areas, especially healing. Camara's stories may only be told late in the evening, when innocent children, and even some innocent wives and husbands, have retired. Few are unaffected by the proper telling of her tales, though the reactions are often mixed. Thou hast been warned! {I made that last sentence up myself!} An epic is an extended narrative - usually (but not in this case) in poetic format - that celebrates in elevated or dignified language the feats of a legendary or traditional hero. In the days before cable TV and arcade games, bards used to travel from town to town and castle to castle and relate epics while listeners consumed mead. Epics don't have a climax and denouement that follow the pattern of a normal novel or modern movie, and this may be irksome to some readers. I am not a sword and sorcery fan; in fact, I have a sneaking suspicion that magick doesn't work at all and that life would be uninteresting if it did. {I get tired of the rules constantly changing and the ever-present deus ex machina to solve serious problems in unrealistic ways.} Nevertheless, I enjoyed this tale, which presented interesting and exciting sexual activities in the exotic context of Camara's quest for the medallion of King Merovance and her simultaneous search for meaning in her life. It was a very good story. Like most epics, this story is presented through the eyes of the bard, who is reciting the tale to an assembled multitude and who occasionally digresses to tell another tale at the request of a Lord or Lady. Although you'll want to read this entire story, the lengthy tale (360K) is subdivided into nine chapters that permit the reader to enjoy the epic in smaller installments. Ratings for "Camara" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Inger" by Friar Dave (friar.dave@teamhbbs.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=292720368 01 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=293046376 02 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=293565808 03 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294776224 04 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294761113 05 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294729804 06 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294734507 07 Roger is a single Father who is raising a 12-year-old son. He hires Inger, an intelligent, dependable, but apparently unattractive college girl to do the housework, to help with homework, and to generally keep an eye on his son while he is at work. Bill discovers long before Roger does that Inger can really be a fox when she wants to be one. Meanwhile, Roger begins dating Bill's English teacher. Well, while Roger goes out with Bernice the English teacher, Inger notices that Bill has been running off to the bathroom to masturbate; and she asks him if it's because he's thinking about the English teacher who is with his father. Bill replies with something like, "No. I'm thinking about you, Inger. Look, I have another boner right now!" Since they have to study algebra, she helps him relax his erection before study time; and eventually she integrates their mutual physical attraction into part of an incentive system to get him to study hard. {Ooops! "Study hard" can have more than one meaning in this instance, I guess.} And so the plot thickens. I might add that giving a kid a hand job when he displays a hard-on that you have caused is not a good way to eliminate or minimize future erections. A more successful strategy would be to hit him in the groin with a baseball bat. There, that should settle you down for a while. As I said, Inger's method would not have been successful had it been her goal to minimize arousal in order to facilitate the study of algebra, which would have been a worthy goal. However, it turns out that she has needs too. And so she and Bill form a sort of Reciprocal Needs Alliance. She will scratch his back if he scratches hers - only it's not their backs that they will be scratching. This is a very good story. We get to see Roger develop his relationship with Bernice and Bill develop his with Inger, who has developed a tutoring system that manages to get the 12-year-old through calculus in just about three months! The sex is very hot. Pop quiz for Celeste: (1) Q. Should a man develop a sexual relationship with his son's English teacher? A. Sure, why not? (2) Q. Should a responsible parent hire a sexy college student and let her have sex with his 12-year-old son? A. No. A parent should screen and supervise his baby-sitter more carefully than this. If you'll pardon the expression, Roger just got lucky. Inger would be guilty of statutory rape in most jurisdictions. The judge would probably also be rough on the father for dereliction of parental responsibility. Note, however, that it's also extremely unlikely that a 12-year-old would within three months go from remedial algebra to advanced calculus - no matter what reward system the tutor employed. If a tutor could actually do this, the judge would probably give her a suspended sentence and require her to do community service - consisting of applying the same system to the judge's children or possibly to the judge himself. However, readers are advised to ignore this information and read this story as a very good fantasy. Ratings for "Inger" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Homeward Bound" by Dafney Dewitt (ii361@cleveland.Freenet.Edu). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=185795756 The story begins in the middle of the action with the woman raping the guy. It seems he had been in prison for five years; and the first thing he did when he got out was get drunk and rape the old lady. He fell asleep before he actually stuck it in; but dominating her was 90% of the fun anyway. Except that when he wakes up he finds himself securely bound to a chair by a woman who is going to have her way with him and who has a pretty good plan for keeping him in line in the future. This is a very vivid story. That's why this author is listed in my FAQ as one whose stories I try not to miss. I am going to try to review some more of this author's stories in subsequent weeks. Ratings for "Homeward Bound" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Feet Are Neat" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=239515599 Every job has its perks, and for the shoe salesman the main perk is the fact that occasionally a sexy woman comes into the store and flirts with or exposes herself to the salesman. I've never thought about it before, but I guess the salesman could fondle some pretty attractive legs from time to time and probably catch a glance of some sexy panties - if the customer happens to be wearing any. In this story, however, Mike Hunt is kind of naive; the high- schooler enjoys the spectacle, but he doesn't realize that the customer (a sexy older woman) is coming on to him. He gets wise about the time she brings him to climax with her foot against his crotch. This is a very good story about exhibitionism and voyeurism in the ole shoe store. I just saw a notice in this author's repost of "The O'Stikkit Inn." Mike Hunt is going to be on vacation and unavailable for a couple of weeks. I'm afraid to say that sentence out loud: my husband might go into a state of depression. Anyway, the author and his lewd and lascivious but lithe and lovely little lady June will be driving through the American Southeast. If you're in that area, you might get lucky and spot them - actually, you might spot them and get lucky. You can easily recognize them from the descriptions of Mike Hunt provided in these stories. One good way to figure out where they're likely to be is to anticipate the title of the next story. For example, if you were driving past a place called the "O'Stikkit Inn," that would be a major clue, because "O'Stikkit Inn by Mike Hunt" is a pun that conveys a sexual innuendo, and this author can't survive without that sort of thing. You might think that since that title is already taken the couple will now avoid inns of that name, but that's not true: " O'Stikkit Inn by Mike Hunt 2" would be another excellent pun. Personally, if I were driving past the residence of Seymour Heine, I'd knock on the door and ask for Mike Hunt. If the person answering the door acts confused, just shout the password : "O'Stikkit Inn." If the person is nasty, you may consider mooning him while you utter these words; and if you are a female, it would be appropriate to add the author's name. Then you'll get the reception you deserve. Ratings "Feet Are Neat" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 -- +----------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `--------------+ | | | | Archive site +----------------------+--------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | ----