Message-ID: <10553eli$9804231409@qz.little-neck.ny.us> From: Celeste801 Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 277 - April 22 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: X-Is-Review: yes Celestial Reviews 277 - April 22, 1998 Note: Father O'Grady was saying his usual goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service, when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears. "What's bothering you so, my dear girl?" inquired Farther O'Grady. "Oh, father, I've got terrible news," replied Mary. "What is it, Mary?" "Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father." "Oh, Mary!" said the father, "that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" "Well, yes he did father," replied Mary. "What did he ask, Mary?" "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun....'" Second note: A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned." The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but yes, I would." Then he goes to his sister's room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!" The kid goes back to his father and says, "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two whores. Third note: Somebody who will remain anonymous sent me this anecdote. It's long, but interesting. Suzie had a crush on Mikey since she was 15 years old. Mikey never paid Suzie any attention. Every year Suzie would try to get Mikey to notice her, but he just wasn't interested. Finally, when Suzie turned 18, she began to come of age; and sure enough, Mikey noticed. Suzie looked so pretty and grown-up that Mikey asked her for a date for a Friday night. She was so excited all that week, she could hardly wait for Friday. Finally, Friday came. As soon as she got home from school, Suzie began getting ready for her date at 7. She spent four hours on her clothes, hair. and make- up, wanting everything to be perfect for the night she had waited years for. Finally, 7 o'clock came around. Looking out the window, she saw Mikey pull up in his shiny black car. She became so nervous and excited, that she opened the door before he even got to it. "Hi, Mikey!" she said, nervous as hell; and Mikey replied, "Suzie you look beautiful!" Suzie was so pleased when she walked out the door -- then IT hit her. She realized in horror that she had to FART!! Oh my God she thought, walking along, what am I going to do? Being a quick thinker, Suzie got an idea: She would let him open her door for her, hurry in, fart, and roll down the window real quick; and by the time he came around and got in, all would be O.K. So they get to the car, Mikey opens the door, and Suzie gets in. He closes the door, then she really rips one! She rolls down the window, and sees that he's just getting around to his door. Relaxing a little now, Suzie smiles at Mikey as he gets in the car. Then Mikey turns to her, points to the back seat, and says, "Suzie, I'd like you to meet my brother Carl and his date." Fourth note: These reviews now have Story Links in two places: in the index (Table of Contents) and at the beginning of the actual review. This placement makes it as easy as possible for readers to paste the link into a browser and go directly to the story. This actually requires some additional effort, and so I'd like to know whether this is supplying a useful service. I'd like to thank Sandman for helping me with these links. Sandman is an ideal helper. He does all this drudgery and then THANKS me for letting him do it. I feel kinda like when my husband eats my clit for a half hour and then thanks me for letting him do it - only completely different. Sandman has also supplied the "Celestial History" notes for each issue. Sometimes I suspect Sandman knows more about me than I know about myself. The bad news is that Sandman is getting married in three weeks and will take a month off for the festivities. Talk about optimism! The reason this is "bad" is that Sandman will be temporarily unavailable for finding Links. If someone else would like to volunteer to fill his shoes - actually, we should probably use a metaphor other than shoes for this newsgroup, but I think I won't go there - I'd like to hear from you. Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste "The Wife Course" by Nightingale (wife becomes slut) 10, 7, 7 {Unpublished} "The Wedding Conception" by Mon (wedding reception infidelity) 6, 6, 6 http://x3.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=326098449 "The Wedding Conception Retribution" by EzRiter (revenge) 8, 5, 5 http://x3.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=344151883 "Winning Denver" by EzRiter (sex slavery) 8, 5, 5 http://x3.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346329746 "Triple Twist" by Kim (sex with a twist) 10, 10, 10 http://x3.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345782475 "Janey's March" by Janey (unconventional conventional sex) 10, 10, 10 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346717657 Guest Reviews: "Harvest Moon" by Crimson Dragon (ff sex) 7.5, 9, 9 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=344415391 "Just a Normal Night with Zel" by Steve S (romance) 7 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343738949 "I Always Wanted to Know" by Lace (threesome) 10, 7, 8 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345471957 "The Ransom" by Stroker Ace (dreamlike bdsm & bestiality) 8, ,9, 5 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=162864948 "The Dinner" by Suki (exhibitionism) 6.5 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345782485 "Diana's Slavery" by EzRiter (sex slavery) 5, 5, 4 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346329754 "Carol's Understanding" By EzRiter (family sex) 8, 6, 2 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=342174326 "The Bedpost" by Michael K. Smith (sex with a bedpost) 10, 10, 10 http://x2.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346329822 Reposted Reviews: * "A Lovely Girl" by Michael K. Smith (rape) 10, 10, 10 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=168322476 (*) (*) Repost not by author * "Neighbors" by Michael K. Smith (romance & emerging adolescence) 10, 10, 10 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=237574077 (*) (*) Repost not by author * "The Dare" by Michael K. Smith (emerging adolescence) 10, 10, 10 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=237587408 (*) (*) Repost not by author * "Until Next Year" by Michael K. Smith (romance) 10, 8, 6 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=237582834 (*) (*) Repost not by author * "Justice" by Michael K. Smith (child molestation) 10, 10, 10 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=237573218 (*) (*) Repost not by author * "Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (ff computer show sex) 9.27A http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346329700 * "Constants" by Friar Dave (Payton Place Redux) 10, 10, 10 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=313835490 (*) (*) Repost not by Author * "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (slut training) 10, 10, 10 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345702595 * "Digger" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (emerging adolescence) 8, 9, 9 http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345706816 (*) http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345706808 (*) (*) Repost not by author ======================== On this day in Celestial History.. Celestial Reviews #78 - April 24, 1996 ======================== * "The Adventures of Me and Martha Jane" by Santo J. Romeo (emerging adolescence and romance) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=297467972 (*) (*) Repost not by Author * "Infinity" by J.M. (sexual satire) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=192109296 ======================== * = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been reposted) "The Wife Course" by Nightingale (posted by Mr Double ). Nick has married a wife who doesn't like sex. Duffy, his old girlfriend with whom he broke up because she was oversexed, has offered to help out. All Nick has to do is introduce Duffy to Beth and let the good times roll. The sex is wild and hot, but I cannot for the life of my figure out WHY Beth became so interested in sex so suddenly. Overall, the story was pretty much like watching a porn movie, where people fuck for no other reason than that's what the plot calls for. Ratings for "The Wife Course" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 7 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7 "The Wedding Conception" by Mon (posted by dee@onramp.net).{Story Link: http://x3.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=326098449} Our narrator was a virgin bride. She and her hubby had trouble conceiving a child - though not for lack of effort. For reasons of morality and macho husbandly pride, they have ruled out adoption and artificial insemination. The doctor tells them they have been trying too hard. So they decide to abstain from sex for six weeks and then get pregnant at the wedding reception of their friend Bob. On the Day of the Reception, however, Bob has to work latel and so his wife goes to the reception alone and gets pregnant by his business rival. Go figure. The sex is clearly described, but I didn't find it to be very hot. Ratings for "The Wedding Conception" Athena (technical quality): 6 Venus (plot & character): 6 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6 "The Wedding Conception Retribution" by EzRiter (ezriter@hotmail.com). {Story Link: http://x3.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=344151883} This is a follow-up to "The Wedding Conception." It's really not very much about sex at all. Instead, this story simply describes how Bob gets pissed off and carries out a vendetta against his wife and Steve, who has been boinking Lisa. I guess this is the sort of thing an upset man would do when he has little real personality and no other way to solve his problems. Personally, I think it would have been more interesting to wall somebody up alive in a wine cellar or at least tie the victim to a table while a huge ax swings back and forth on a pendulum, gradually coming closer and closer to the vital organs of the adulterous asshole. Naw! A story like that would never become popular. Ratings for "The Wedding Conception Retribution" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5 "Winning Denver" by EzRiter (ezriter@hotmail.com). {Story Link: http://x3.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346329746} Denver and her husband have run up huge gambling debts during their Honeymoon in Las Vegas. As is the custom , the security officer arranges to have Chet pay off the couple's debts, but then Chet gets Denver as his private whore for the duration of his stay there. Since the gambling debts were Toby's fault and since she likes the adventure of it, Denver really gets into her role. Then Chet realizes he has fallen in love with Denver, and so they arrange to dump Toby and live happily ever after. This plot had considerable potential, but I don't think the author handled it as well as he could have. Instead of being really sexy and highly creative, the story came across to me as just slightly sexy and extremely bewildering. Emotions shifted too quickly and for no apparent reason. I was left with the impression that the author had one good idea, then another, then another. He tried to put them all together; but finally discovered that this was hard to do, and so he gave up and posted the story. It would have been better to work a little harder and write the really good story that we could have had here. Ratings for "Winning Denver" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5 "Triple Twist" by Kim (Ghost@nym.alias.net). {Story Link: http://x3.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345782475} Here we actually have three discrete short stories. That last sentence contains the word "discrete" used correctly for the first time in over seventy-one days in this newsgroup. It means that the stories are separate and distinct from one another. On the other hand, if the stories were discreet, that would mean that either the author or the characters in the stories must have been circumspect in some manner. Anyway, in "Foreign Customs" the narrator describes the simple complexities of entering into a romantic relationship with a crown prince. I suspect Kim had access to the secret diaries of either Princess Grace or Jackie O to write this story. {Which reminds me: do you know how Jackie used to find Aristotle's cock on dark nights on the yacht? It wasn't hard.} All three of these stories have surprise endings of some sort, and in this one the narrator discovers what the royal folks really do for sex. "Would You Hold Her For Me Please?" takes place in a futuristic society. You'll never guess what the title refers to. I'll just tell you that it has nothing to do with anal sex or dingoes. Actually, there's almost no sex at all in this excellent story. I suspect the author stole this plot from a book on a coffee table when she was doing research on Princess Grace or Jackie O for the preceding story. In "Hotel" the narrator goes to a hotel room to meet a man, and after a few preliminaries we find her with a Perrier bottle buried completely inside her pussy while he is fucking her ass. This may sound sexy to you, but it sounded weird to me. That's not to say it was a bad story: it was fascinating, but weird. I wondered whether people actually did things like this. I knew the answer was yes, because a friend of mine who is a nurse in an emergency room once told me about some of her experiences. If you think it's embarrassing to be in an accident with dirty underwear, you can easily imagine how much more disconcerting it is to wind up in the emergency room with a broken bottle or a live animal in a really unusual place. Anyway, as per the theme of this trilogy, this story has an unusual twist in the end . Ratings for "Triple Twist" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Janey's March" by Janey (janey98@hotmail.com). {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346717657} If I am not mistaken, this is the first "pen story" I have ever reviewed for this newsgroup. Hold it! Before someone starts up a new category for the alphabet soup with which authors label their stories, let me add that this is probably the only pen story that will ever appear on this newsgroup. Janey and her husband Bob have gone into Boston for a fountain pen convention. I myself have been to Boston. In fact, I once ran in a significant annual road race held in that city. Bostonians use the word "wicked" as a synonym for "very" - as in, "That's a wicked nice fountain pen that's leaking all over your pocket" or "I'm so wicked horny that the crack of dawn isn't safe." Bostonians are also apt to park their cars in Harvard Yard, but they say it funnier than I write it. Anyway, Janey and John have a wicked wild time while their spouses admire the pens at the convention. During the seduction, I was impressed. My God, he even does subjunctive, I thought. Then Janey herself said, "My God, he does subjunctive, too, I thought." Men who use the subjunctive appropriately are sexy as hell. In fact, had my husband been better at English, he'd have gotten into my pants much sooner. "This is happening wicked fast," says Janey. "But, on the other hand, if it doesn't happen fast, it won't happen at all." Or to put it more subjunctively, "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it was done wicked quickly." In the midst of foreplay, Janey reveals her bisexual proclivity: "I like a nice penis as well as the next woman...." Freud would be proud of that wicked mild grammatical ambiguity. Anyway, they fuck wicked, wicked slowly, while Janey practices her leadership skills. {I'm not sure even the guys at Harvard Yard would use two wickeds in a row like that.} Then Janey gives John some wicked good advice about how to bring Marilyn out of her potato patch, as they say somewhere else in the Western world. I foresee a plot for Janey's April. Ratings for "Janey's March" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Harvest Moon" by Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com). Guest review by Nick (e-mail: Nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk). {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=344415391} Note that 7s are a recommendation to read, while 10s express a willingness to have parted with money! I like the idea for this one. Two girls separated by University life get together under the stars for a night of passion (where is the University of Waterloo btw?!). There is a strong sense of atmosphere, of life moving on, here as well as a good feel of romance. The sex scenes too are good, and the relationship between these two girls enhanced this. One has the feeling that this is a night that these girls will remember for the rest of their lives. It was let down by the execution. I almost had the feeling that the story was separable; you could have taken the sex out and put it in another story, and similarly with the romantic build up. References to the stars and moon, perhaps, during the sex scenes, would have maintained continuity. A touch too much angst too ("Are you sure you want to do this?" they keep asking each other - come on; its only a little light bondage under the stars, and we're both gagging for it!) On first reading I kept having to refer back to remind myself which was Kate and which was Linda. The characters weren't sufficiently distinctive. This, I find is a fairly common problem with stories I read, and I had no trouble on the second reading. Crimson thanks Munk for proof reading too, but frankly this could have been better (sorry, Munk!) There were repeated words in sentences and spelling mistakes which a spell-checker should have picked up. I don't mind this too much myself, but I know it upsets some. Finally, I gave this one to my wife to read this morning in bed. Dutifully she took it from me with an exasperated sigh (she doesn't altogether approve of all this, you know!). Anyway, to cut a long story short we were up a little later than usual (thanks Crimson!) So, high marks for appeal to that particular reviewer! Ratings for "Four Seasons: Harvest Moon" Athena (Technical) 7.5 Venus (Plot and Character) 9 Nick (Appeal to me) 9 ;-) "Just a Normal Night with Zel" by Steve S (sentualrush@hotmail.com). Guest review by Dave Myers. {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343738949} Do we need another story code? Maybe not; but recently, there has been a flood of stories of the type that are neither aptly described by "MF rom" nor "TRUE". I think it's wonderful that by taking a few small liberties with history, people are able to gratifyingly put down on paper (or more accurately, record electronically!) the most interesting parts of their sex lives. The best part is that the quality of the postings in this genre has risen considerably above the Penthouse forum-esque stuff of a few years ago. I'm only surprised none of the disclaimers have the irresistible tagline, "Based on true events". Synopsis: In "Just a Normal Night with Zel", we start out with a slightly high-strung teacher who is grading papers while playing a little hard to get with his lover, Zelia. They wind up in each others' arms before long. The charm of this snapshot of an evening is in its relative universality for longtime MF couples. The author conveys a sense of well-trodden ground in the sexual habits of the characters, and mixes it thoroughly with the messy details of tension between lovers. This is mid-workweek sex between weary folk that must contend with getting up in the morning. People who know each other very well, including those ticks that annoy each other. People who need somewhat of a catalyst in order for the situation to unfold. The chief stumbling block in this text is the pacing; the action peaks a little too soon. The author glides through a great shower sequence without triteness, then follows up with some less impressive writing during a cock- sucking interlude, which leads to the substellar final fuck. With a story this short (about 200 lines), I'm left feeling like I sneezed and missed the climax. Rating: 7 "I Always Wanted to Know" by Lace (lacetales@aol.com). Guest review by R'khaan (rkhaan@ix.netcom.com). {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345471957} For a short story, this one by Lace didn't waste much time getting right to the action. After leaving the pool, Emily, our narrator returns to her room, only to find her roommate, Tracy, and Tracy's boyfriend, Mike, doing the wild thang. Tracy commands Emily out of her thong and, seconds later, Emily is getting eaten out while Mike wails away in Tracy's backside. And, as you might expect, everyone cums away happy. The only thing about these really short stories is you miss out on a lot of things. You don't get much background on the characters which doesn't give you a chance to identify with them (although we can surely identify with people fuck-ing!). This short offering does take care of the basics without being overdone and/or boring. Ratings for "I Always Wanted to Know" R'khaan (technical quality): 10 R'khaan (plot & character): 7 R'khaan (appeal to reviewer):8 "The Ransom" by Stroker Ace (zpariah@aol.com). Guest review by Plainman. {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=162864948} This weird story connected to something in my unconscious, and in the end, I liked something about it. I think of it as a dream sequence, and a kind of allegory about a controlling man with sadistic impulses that he fears and can't fully accept. I don't know if the author intended that. I think of Stroker Ace as a straightforward "guy abuses gal" SM writer, which is not generally my genre. This story looked like one of those, with the added element of bestiality. Yuck, I thought, and almost just sent it back to Celeste unreviewed. But then I read it again.. The hero's wife is kidnapped, and he is told to pay a ransom of one thousand dollars; the kidnapper makes vague sexual threats but says he hasn't raped her yet. Hubby pays up, wondering why the ransom amount was so small, and the kidnapper tells him he can pick his wife up way out in the Everglades. He finds her there, standing wrapped only in a sheet, and accompanied by a big black dog. She seems OK and on the way home, she tells him she wasn't raped, though the kidnapper stripped her and touched her sexually. Half way home, he realizes the dog got in the car with them without him noticing. The dog obeys her command, and by the time they get home, he is thinking maybe they should keep the dog as a guard dog for her. But once they are inside and he approaches his wife physically, the dog threatens him, and then (in a graphically described scene) rapes the wife. At the end, she tells the husband that the kidnapper trained the dog to have her whenever it wants. There are lots of realistic details, but overall the story feels unreal, like a dream sequence. The interest of the story is in the portrayal of the husband. He is a possessive jerk. "I had my Stacy back in one piece. Even her chastity was preserved... The asshole felt her up and looked her over but the fag never violated her. I could live with that. She was lucky and so was I." Then when the dog is having sex with his wife, and he is helplessly looking on, he can't tell if she is being hurt or is enjoying it. Finally she tells him that the dog's erection swells into a bulb at the end, and "I fill up, tight and hurting. He could rip me apart unless I move with him." The dog licks her mouth, and "I don't think that she realized that she returned a quick kiss." I thought this was a dark, disturbing, interesting story. Not very sexy, for me. There are a few grammar glitches, with "lay-lie" and "I-me." Technical merit: 8 Literary merit: 9 Turn-on factor (purely subjective): 5 "The Dinner" by Suki (suki@fish.com). Guest review by Dave Myers. {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345782485} In some disclaimers to her recent re-postings (from the early 90s), Suki expresses her uncertainty over whether or not her work will appeal to current readers. Due to the brevity of some of her pieces, she wonders (and so do I) if readers looking for a quick mental image of eroticism and depravity won't turn instead to gifs and video clips. Sigh. This view of the world discounts real creativity, and for the sake of the a.s.s.m community, I hope there is still an audience for these short takes. When a story is only a page long, the author has to come up with some pretty creative hooks in order to plant those mental images deeply. Synopsis: A woman goes to policeman's ball. Underneath her formalwear, she's wearing negligee and toting a vibrator in her pussy. The idea is clever and hot. Unfortunately, Suki never manages to convince me that this party trick is not terribly uncomfortable for all the walking, primping, driving, and sitting that her character does. Maybe someone out there can disprove me. Hmm... Also, I would have liked to have seen more focus on the feelings of exhibitionism in the situation. Rating: 6.5 "Diana's Slavery" by EzRiter (ezriter@hotmail.com). Guest review by R'khaan (rkhaan@ix.netcom.com). {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346329754} This story contains a few things which, in reality, could get a person arrested just about everywhere in the US, which is probably why it appeals to some folks. The character of David, seems to have a major problem with the star of this story, Diana. Seems likes the lady is the Grand Poobah of the local Order of Cock Teasers. Instead of being put off by her demeanor and just moving on to greener pastures, David decides to enslave Diana. Right away, two things become instantly apparent: Diana's in deep shit and David is someone who has major problems with women. After arriving an hour late for a tutoring session to be given by David, Diana spends more time teasing the irate David than concentrating on whatever they were studying. Finally, David has taken about all he can take and sets his plan in motion, injecting Diana with some type of paralyzing agent which leaves her totally at David's mercy. I'm not sure if what happens next is classic S&M-type stuff, but David goes on a verbal tirade, humiliating his victim and promising her plenty of pain while clearly enjoying his moment of triumph. After copping a few feels and subjecting Diana to more terror, he ties her up and lets her marinate in her fear for a while. Finally, David produces a whip and proceeds to whip the hapless Diana into total submission. Of course, the lady's begging and pleading with him, offering him everything she has, as well as some other girl I assume they both know. She tries to bribe him with her coochie and, somewhat out of character, he rejects the offer. In a way, the offer does seem hollow, since David already has her where he wants her. As you continue to read the story, you just know Diana is in serious trouble. But, wait! We soon discover Diana is down for this type of sex, having gotten tied to a tree, beaten and then fucked hard by her drunken boyfriend! A tree? As it turns out, the boyfriend is totally repulsed after finding out Diana really got her cookies off and leaves her, which doesn't make sense as he was the one who tied her to the tree in the first place. David just happened to come across this scene, explaining how he knew his plan would work. Diana, however, appears to be surprised when she realizes David must have seen this, though I can't imagine why: If you're tied to a tree, getting your ass beat and then summarily fucked, it stands to reason someone is going to see or hear it, right? The rest of the story is filled with I suppose is routine, beat-that-ass-with- the whip stuff, and Diana is eventually beaten into submission, loving every minute of it. David cuts Diana down, dopes her up again, covers her up and leaves the Grand Poobah lying unconscious. Other than the graphic descriptions of Diana's capture and eventual torture, this reviewer wasn't put off as much by the kidnapping, assault and battery, possession of controlled substances and a lot more illegal activities along these lines as he was put off by the author's overuse of ellipses! I recommend the author use more commas and/or semi-colons in his/her writing to assist with the flow of the story. By overdoing the ellipses, David comes off as an absentminded maniac with a speech impediment more than he does someone who wants to humiliate/dominate Diana. I am pleased to see, however, the author was thoughtful enough to provide a disclaimer for anyone who reads this work. I hope the readers take it to heart. Ratings for "Diana's Slavery" R'khaan (technical quality): 5 (too many ellipses) R'khaan (plot & character): 5 R'khaan (appeal to reviewer):4 "Carol's Understanding" by EzRiter (posted by dee@onramp.com). Guest review by Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com). {Story Link: http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=342174326} (To the insipid theme of the Brady Bunch) Here's a woman with two daughters And a boss with a really horny son Each of them had the hots for one another Why don't this sound like fun? Well lets start out by, letting mom Catch her daughter with the boss' randy son Whip out the ol' trusty hairbrush And spank him on the bum Well the boss now, he's not to pleased But I'm sure an arrangement can be made See the daughter never got her righteous spanking And there's a price to be paid. So the mother, brings her daughter To the man she's been scheming to engage And they all end up doing one another Until you turn the page. Then the boss and, the liberal mother Finally tie the knot in blissful serenity And what better present for your new hubby Than the youngest's virginity? This story, was really silly And the sex wasn't even very hot I think it be just dandy If this was one you dropped. Oh why, can't I stop? This review just keeps on going on and on I think I've just doomed myself To hear it all day long. Carol's bunch, oh Carols bunch That's the way they became Carol's bunch! Ratings for "Carol's Understanding" Athena (technical quality): 8 -- Average with some mistakes. Venus (plot & character): 6 -- Plot? Uninspiring sex. Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 2 -- Well the review was fun. "The Bedpost" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith1@bellsouth.net). Guest review by Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com). Story link: http://x2.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346329822 A man and a woman meet in a passionate embrace. The man lifts the woman high in his strong arms. They kiss and taste each other's flesh in this highly erotic scene before the man lowers the woman onto the bedpost. This gives a whole new meaning to the term "woody", and I have to admit I was as turned on as the woman purported to be. Nice start. After bringing the woman to orgasm with the bedpost what's left to do? My guess would be for the man and woman to go at each other like cats in heat. Ah how wrong I was. From here the story takes a darker, N/C turn. The same raw power and dominance that so excited the woman earlier is turned on her as she's lowered again onto the bedpost for a squeamish anal scene. This sort of sex is definitely not recommended in real life, one small slip could literally impale one's partner. In fact the story ends implying just that sort of slip, only not so accidental. The first part of this story was a major turn-on, the last part of the story was a suspense filled horror story that had me on the edge of my seat. The ending squicked me to no end, but that did not mean I wasn't affected by the ending. I read the last few pages with a mixture of fascination and dread with ragged breath and my heart pounding in my chest. Some stories can make you think. Some stories can make you go "Hmmm." This story made me feel and despite the squick factor I enjoyed it. Ratings for "The Bedpost" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "A Lovely Girl" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@taproot.win.net). {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=168322476} This is a vivid story about a homicidal maniac who rapes a thirteen-year-old girl. The horror continues to build throughout the story until it reaches its full impact at the very end. What I truly appreciated about this story is that the author did not pretend that the little girl enjoyed any part of the experience. Rating the story was difficult. Its use of language was excellent; no problem there - 10. The plot was exceptionally well developed; again, no problem - another 10. But did I like it? Actually, I was repulsed by it. I definitely did not get turned on; and I hated the protagonist. My fervent hope is that nothing like the events depicted in this story should ever happen to anyone I love. So I didn't like it; but I did ADMIRE it. It conveyed to me an accurate description of the mind of a pervert; and I think I'm a better person because of the experience. And so, for appeal to reviewer - another 10. Ratings for "A Lovely Girl" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Neighbors" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com). {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=237574077} Mike lusts after Carol from afar - from the house next door, that is. He's divorced, and she has recently thrown her husband out; and he's beginning to notice more and more how attractive she is. One day he finds an excuse to give her a foot rub. {Now, you have to understand that for some of us foot rubs are a form of either masturbation or foreplay.} He behaves like a perfect gentleman. Mike and Carol kiss and neck passionately sans enfuckment and are having a good ole time - when Carol's 15-year-old daughter comes home early and walks in on them unexpectedly. I mention this anecdote with the daughter because it demonstrates the level of sophistication of the story. It may be fun to fantasize about humping the slutty next door neighbor or gang-banging the bus driver or inviting the daughter to join in for a little incestuous menage a trois; but real life sometimes diverges from fantasy. Adults - and especially parents - have to be responsible as well as sexy. In this instance, Carol leaves Mike on the couch, goes to her daughter's room to discuss the matter with her, and then rejoins Mike for some more romance. Some readers may find this dull; but I find this kind of stuff to be very hot - because it more closely resembles things that I might do in what I would like to think is my own, mature, responsible life. Well, actually Carol lets Stephanie watch her making out with Mike. That would go beyond my own limits; but I have to admit that I found it to be extremely erotic. This is another very good story. I enjoyed it immensely. Last week I criticized an author for the improper balance of details - too much irrelevant and too little relevant detail. Smith does an excellent job of supplying the right blend of details. At times he seems to be off the subject; but he's really setting up the mood for what he wants us to notice next. This story offers a good example of what I am talking about. * "The Dare" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@taproot.win.net). {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=237587408} Sixteen-year-old Katie had defied the school dress standards and had gotten away with it. She had read the Rule Book, and it said nothing about how much leg a girl can show. It only stated the minimum length of the skirt itself. Since Katie was tall, a skirt of the requisite length showed a lot of leg and a bit of ass; and she enjoyed the opportunity to shock and arouse the boys and teachers. Having had her fun, Katie mentioned to her friends that the Rule Book also failed to state that it was necessary to wear underwear. So she formally dared her friends to join her in a No Underwear Day. For complex sociological reasons no one in the immediate peer group had declined a dare in the six years since the Rules of the Dare had been formalized, and so No Underwear Day was formally scheduled. When the Day comes, Katie is unwilling to just Do It; she must also Take Risks. Escalation Station! The other girls begin to take risks too. An interesting story! Realism check: when the narrator gives head to the guy in the Journalism lab, she sucks him deep into her mouth and swallows his cum. She says she does this in imitation of what she saw in an X-rated movie. Right! The one thing I have noted about X-rated movies is that nobody ever comes inside anyone. The actors always shoot their jism all over the face, the buttocks, or the breasts of their partner - apparently because viewers would be unable to see this wonderful sight if the penis were buried deep inside an appropriate receptacle. Katie and her friends might have learned some interesting things from that movie, but swallowing male ejaculate would not have been one of them. Ratings for "The Dare" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Until Next Year" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com). {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=237582834} The scenario described in this story takes place in front of a crowd of largely confused people; they don't quite know what happened. I feel like a member of that crowd. A man (presumably the author himself) is part of a group saying good-bye to a woman after some unspecified kind of annual gathering in Baltimore. She is only 34 years old, but has suffered a stoke, from which she has made a surprising recovery. She surprises the narrator by giving him an unusually passionate good-bye kiss. That's about it; the rest is left to the imagination. If you're unfamiliar with this author but looking for a hot sex story, you'll want to skip this one. If you know the rest of this author's work, you may want to read this to see what else you can learn about him. Ratings for "Until Next Year" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6 * "Justice" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com). {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=237573218} When Susan was twelve and just entering puberty, her father saw her naked one day and came to her in bed that night. He told her that here mother no longer took care of his needs and that he wanted Susan to help out. Then he fucked her; and it hurt. Her father had split neatly into two people in her life. There was her Daddy, whom she loved, who dropped her off at the school bus stop and helped her with her homework, and who did nice things with her. But there was also the man who came at night whenever the two of them were alone, and put part of his body inside her body. When he came, he never struck her, or put the pillow over her face, or anything so dramatic. They simply had sex. Both of these men said they loved her, but she now understood that word to have two different meanings. And neither man ever mentioned the other. It never occurred to Susan to say anything about their relationship to her mother or to anyone else. She simply got used to the visits and outwardly accepted them. This is a very realistic description of typical pedophile activity. It is not as enjoyable as the stories that describe "family fun" as a neat way for children to grow up. I want to remind you that I have given high ratings to well-written stories that present sex between adults and children in a much more pleasant light than this one. I mention that because I don't want to sound overly moralistic in this review. All I am saying is that I have known lots of children who were sexually abused, and this story comes closer than any other I have seen to describing the TYPICAL reaction of a child who is coerced into having sex with her father. This story is not a turn-on - even though it does have a "happy" ending; but I urge you to read it anyway. It's one of the best stories I have ever seen on this newsgroup. Ratings for "Justice" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (GQKZ45C@prodigy.com). {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346329700} "Woman2Woman" is a fun read, zippy and straightforward, with few distractions to pull you away from the story of the seduction of one woman by another. Christine and Laura are sales reps at a computer show, and meet each other while standing on the floor for 10 hours fending off propositions from men. At one point in the shared cab ride back to the hotel, Christine, the narrator, asks ""Is getting laid the only reason these guys come here?" This is one of the few distractions, because the answer, obviously, is "yes." I've been to computer shows. The girls retreat to their hotel rooms, wherein Laura offers to give Christine a massage to relieve her stress. You'll be shocked to find out that they both end up nude, make gentle love with one another, and spend the next several days sneaking kisses in the employee lounge, squatting at the display to show each other their pussies, and generally having a lovely time. The plot is not complicated, and it's been done before, but then haven't they all? "Woman2Woman" suffers only from a half-dozen obvious editing errors, such as "positioning her bare legs on each side of my." My what? And there are words that the spell check thought were OK, but a quick proofreading would have caught, such as "spend" for "spent." OK, it's niggling, but if I didn't catch at least a couple of grammatical errors, I wouldn't be doing my job as a reviewer, right? I give "Woman2Woman" a "9.27A" rating on the open ended "Verschlumpt" scale, a logarithmic evaluation schedule I've designed based on plot, sexuality, spelling, taste, today's Dow Jones results and other logical factors such as whether it's Tuesday or not. {end of review} * "Constants" by Friar Dave (friar_dave@mhbbs.com). {Story is sometimes spelled "Constance" in the title line.} {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=313835490} There are certain things one is not supposed to enjoy thinking about, especially if one is a demure, respected English teacher and mother of two fine young girls, even if one moonlights as a reviewer of smut for an Internet newsgroup. But as much as I hate to admit it, I enjoyed this story. Mind you - I do NOT think behaviors like those in this story are socially responsible, and I would recommend very strong penalties (including summary defenstration) for any adults fooling around with kids this way; but this story certainly did give me a tingle in a nice place - as well as having an indirect effect on my husband's late-night happiness. In real life, I would urge people who feel the urge to do things like this to see a counselor, go to church more often, or sublimate by masturbating to the work of their favorite a.s.s. author. The story focuses on what I would call a couple of really dysfunctional families - husbands and wives who are dissatisfied with each other, kids whose parents have lost contact with them, and people with value systems that have undergone serious deterioration. In other words, the kind of people we find on American soap operas and in the royal families of Europe. You see - the title is a pun. "Constants" are things that stay the same across time or across situations. Constance is also the name of the main character in the story. The words are homonyms: they sound alike. You'll have to read the story to find out what this has to do with fucking the neighbor boy while his father is watching through a telescope and then screwing the owner of the local restaurant while one's husband is breaking up with his mistress and getting fucked by a local teenager while he's recovering from a drinking binge. And that's just for starters. It's a sad world in which Constance lives; but everybody is too busy screwing everybody else to survey their dismal situation. I like to say that bit about "surveying the dismal situation," because one of my English teachers told me those were the worst combination of words John Milton ever wrote. I just wanted this review to end on an up note by pointing out that on his worst day this author can write better than John Milton on his best day. Talk about dysfunctional people.... Ratings for "Constants" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (zanna@whoever.com). {Story Link: http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=345702595} The narrator is a gigolo, I suppose; he hangs onto his piece of life by latching onto older women, who like him for his good looks and the sex he is able to throw their way. As he says, " Sex is all in the mind anyway and I approached each woman as an intellectual puzzle subject to physical manipulation, like one of those multicolored cubes. But things begin to change one day when he tries to seduce a rich woman who drives a Mercedes. He finds himself trapped, enslaved; and he undergoes experiences that had never even occurred to him before. I usually don't like sex-slavery stories or those that involve piercing and diapers; but I did enjoy this story. It's hard to explain. I recommend you check it out for yourself. Ratings for "Mercedes" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Digger" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (Reposted by who@why.not). Guest review by Jim Fix. {Story Link: See TOC.} A teenager vacations with his family and a friend on the shore of Lake Erie. He takes a friend as a companion and their adventures provide the framework for the story. Like many post-pubescent boys, the main character has a monomania: losing his virginity. He feels this is an opportunity to accomplish his goal, and his far more accomplished friend will help in his quest. They meet a group of Canadian teenagers, and the story takes off from there. The author is a good storyteller and overall I liked "Digger". I could fault the grammar, but grammar should never get in the way when telling a story. What did detract from the story was the writer's references to booze. Bombay Gin drank straight from the bottle? Almost instant recovery from a drunken stupor? Not in my experience. What the characters were doing - not the brand of booze - was important. When the action is down to the final stages of undressing who cares about the pedigree of the gin; it is sufficient to say, "She took a swig from a bottle of gin." and get on with the point of the story. The ending is worth the time spent reading this story. The few faults are more than offset by the ending, which I found both true to life and very entertaining. Ratings for "Digger" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 * "The Adventures of Me and Martha Jane" by Santo J. Romeo (73233.1411@compuserve.com). {Story link: http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=297467972} I first reviewed this story in CR 18, which was posted on September 9, 1995. At that time I gave it a 5. It was a good story, I said; but I was genuinely pissed off because it just ended in the middle of nowhere. I further refused to read any more parts of the story until the author would assure me that he was finished. I was tired of this neverending story crap. Well, the author has finished the story, and it has been worth the wait. I saw a message on a.s.s. that compared the author to Harold Robbins. That evaluation is not far from the mark. The narrator is presumably a man in his fifties, retelling a story of his youth. At the beginning of the story, the 6-year-old Steven (Speedy) harbored a wonderful, non-sexual admiration for Martha Jane, who was nine years older; and she showed a reciprocal respect for him. The two lived next door to each other in a federal housing project around 1950 and shared a common front porch. The focus of the story is the maturation and fulfillment of their relationship. Although the early lines of this story hint of sexual activity, the first several paragraphs are devoted to demonstrating that the protagonist of the story was a precocious child - not a sexually precocious child, but a run-of- the-mill precocious child. This full-life focus continues throughout the story, and it emphasizes that the hero and Martha Jane should be regarded as whole persons, not as simple sex objects. The development of non-sexual aspects helps set this story in a truly rich and interesting psychological and emotional environment. The story is one of the longest coherent stories I have seen on this newsgroup, but it is also one of the best. Certainly there is moral ambiguity in the story. For example, near the beginning the mother tells the young Steven that pregnant women get that way by eating too many popsicles and that babies come from storks. Shortly thereafter, Martha Jane corrects this stupid explanation by playing with his penis to give him a hard-on, while giving him an accurate biological account of the facts of life. If I had a son, I wouldn't try either of these approaches to sex education. It's interesting that normal society rejects Martha Jane's approach - to the extent that Redbook and the Sunday supplements would never even consider publishing an account like this without labeling Martha Jane a pervert; but sitcoms routinely laugh about the mother's explanation. I'm running the risk of preaching to the choir here: most readers of this review are likely to be predisposed to want to like a story like this. On the other hand, large numbers of equally civilized readers outside a.s.s. would react to this story as an example of perversion. Most of us will counter by describing these people as sexually repressed puritans. And so forth. I think we should be willing to simply admit but tolerate the moral ambiguity of the story. It's fiction and it's interesting. There's nothing perverse in setting aside our moral scruples and enjoying a good story. Millions of American high schoolers are required every year to read Edgar Alan Poe's tale about a pervert who tears the heart out of an old man and buries it under the floorboards in his house. We practically require these students to set aside moral scruples and to enjoy the beauty of this atrocity. I'm not recommending that we make "Martha Jane" part of the sophomore curriculum; I simply think adult readers can set aside moral reactions long enough to enjoy this story without taking a position that it would be "better" if all children grew up this way. When I myself was a young baby-sitter, I did not give head to any of the children I cared for; and I would hope that my own daughters likewise refrain from that practice. The psychologists and counselors who suggested to the narrator later in his life that this activity was abnormal are quite likely right (although, again, these sages would simply laugh about the goofy explanations of sexuality given by the mother and other adults.). It would be much better for little boys to receive accurate answers from their own parents and for young baby-sitters to have internalized a code of ethical conduct that enables them to understand their own and their clients' emerging sexuality and to rule out genital contact without resorting to primitive mythologies. But that still doesn't make this a bad story. One of my own favorite novels is Betty Smith's "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn." I would never raise my own children the way those children grew up in that story, but it's still a good novel (and an excellent movie). Again, I'm probably preaching to the choir. But someone is surely going to label this story "pedophilia." There are legitimate gripes against many pedophile stories; they essentially recommend the adoption of lifestyles that would be destructive to children. What we need to do is acknowledge that some stories that describe genital activities with children have the potential to be destructive - especially those that are simply unrealistic or that promote the exploitation of children. On the other hand, other stories that describe genital activity with or among children are either harmless or actually have the potential to lead to moral or emotional growth among readers. To take a sexually-related analogy, there are numerous examples of books and movies about adults having affairs. Some of these are badly written or stupidly conceived and seem to have as their only goal to degrade the value of marriage and other permanent relationships. On the other hand, many of these books and movies are well conceived and have the overall effect of enabling us to understand human emotions - and, indeed, marriage and other permanent relationships - more perfectly. Although the most important aspect of this story is the sexual relationship between the narrator and Martha Jane, it's not really a sex story. Rather, it's a story about the emotional development of two young people. Less than a third of the lines in the story are even remotely devoted to their sex lives. The non-sex scenes are extremely realistic and vivid, giving us information needed to understand the background and personalities of the two main characters. If a reader wants a source of information about how much fun it would be to have sex with a precocious little kid, this would be a good story for that purpose - although all the details about the child's emotions would probably be viewed as distracting. However, I really don't think this was the author's purpose. On the other hand, if a person (like myself) is reading this story to obtain sensitive insights into the personalities of two young people as they mature sexually and emotionally, this is a good source for serious reading. Ratings for "Martha Jane" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Infinity" by J.M. (LlIIllII). {Story link: http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=192109296} Educators consider it to be a good thing when their students integrate their school knowledge with their real lives. That's why math teachers would be impressed with this story. The narrator of this story had a custom of rating a particular part of a girl's anatomy on a numerical scale based on how many months he could keep its image clearly in his head while masturbating. He rated Naomi's tits a 2 and Betsy's underpants a 1. Maybe someday, he fantasized, he'd see an Infinity - something so hot, so sexy, that even if he were shipwrecked on a desert island, he'd be able to jerk off thinking about it for the rest of his life. Hence, the title of this story. His old record was a six for Mrs. Patterson; but that's another story The young narrator has liberal, progressive parents - the kind Drs. Spock and Ruth would be proud of. When they found him masturbating at age 10, they explained to him that masturbation was normal, as long as he did not do it publicly or too often. The term "too often" set a high upper limit. It was like telling him not to have too much fun or not to fuck a girl who's too sexy - there ain't no such thing! With his parents' approval the kid used to jerk off every morning before breakfast. One morning the poor lad was having trouble - the mental imagery just wasn't working; and so his mom stepped into the room and gave him a boost. Things worked themselves out quickly, so to speak. Coincidentally, that very day Mr. Dulles (also known as Mr. Dullest) discussed Infinity in math class. Because of his pre-breakfast adventures, our hero understood the concept better than most of the other students. Dad met Eternity shortly after his son discovered Infinity. He died in a traffic accident. He lost control of the car and crashed into an abutment because he got a little too excited while masturbating behind the wheel. MAMD - Mothers Against Masturbating Drivers - would not like that part of the story; or maybe they WOULD like it, since it shows what can happen to guys who let masturbation get out of hand. MAROP - Mothers Against Really Old Puns - wouldn't like that last sentence at all. The story has a surprise ending, which I won't disclose to you. My main difficulty with the story was with some of the strange characteristics in the text I downloaded. There was a large O with two or three dots, which I think stood for ellipses. There was an I with an accident mark, which I think was a fancy apostrophe - except that in some chapters the apostrophes were omitted completely. I have seen these characters before, and I have been told that they occur because the author is using "higher ASCII characters," which do not automatically occur on all word processors. My problem is this: even though my word processor (Word 6.0) CAN deal with them, they get lost in the translation somewhere on the Internet. My advice to authors is to avoid using these characters. Since authors will ignore this perfectly sensible advice, my recommendation to readers is to use a global change strategy to get rid of these unintelligible characters. For example, you could load all five parts of this story into a single file, move your cursor to the beginning, select the "i" with the accent mark, copy it, go into your replace function, paste the strange sample into the "replace what" area, type an ordinary apostrophe into the "replace with" area, and then choose "replace all." By doing this with about five weird characters - actually I think I reviewed a story recently about somebody doing something else with about five weird characters - by doing this with about five weird textual characters you can make the text readable. I spontaneously interpreted this story as satire - kind of like "Cat Ballou" or "Naked Gun 69." The author has a really interesting style. He pulls absolutely outlandish ideas out of nowhere. In the past I have speculated about authors being someone else reincarnated. It is not necessary to conjure up reincarnation to explain the true authorship of this story. If you really want to know about it, this story is obviously written by J.D. Salinger, who is now 77 years old, living in New England (where this story takes place), and reliving his further adolescent fantasies through cyberspace on alt.sex.stories. I think that if Zeno would have had access to this story, he would have had another paradox about Infinity. Approach this story as excellent satire, and have fun. Ratings for "Infinity" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us |