Message-ID: <7715eli$9804081424@qz.little-neck.ny.us> From: Lady Cyrrh Subject: The Annex Reviews, 4/7/98 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: Here's the first set of reviews for April. I've been doing this for nearly a year, can you believe it? There's been a lot of talk about reviews and reviewing going on ASSD lately, and while I don't participate in that forum, I intend these postings to serve as a way of making my opinions known. First off, I'm all for multiple reviews and authors reviewing authors. The "Spotlight" series is an excellent venue for this. It's probably not a good idea to scale the stories, though, as everyone had their own individual system and criteria. It could get confusing for readers. I chose my own grading system for its ease of use. If you want to correspond them to Celeste's accolades, an A is equal to a 10, 10, 10 and an A+ is a 10, 10, 10 that goes above and beyond the call of duty. However, I give A+ ratings according to my own personal criteria, which evolves from day to day and month to month, and while I feel I know what makes good writing and a good story, I don't expect everyone to agree with my A+ ratings simply because there is a personal element in them. So there you have it. There's always a caveat in ratings systems. I would also like to touch on briefly what differentiates a "stroke" story from a "story" story. (I apologize for the inelegance of this term.) Both are erotica, porn, what-have-you, but the stroke story is pure exploitation whose only purpose is to get you aroused, while story stories have plots, characters and character development, well-rounded settings, and a measure of realism, no matter how clumsily depicted. In other words, *some* effort is made to locate the story in the real world and suspend the reader's disbelief, making them believe, for a short time, these are real events happening to real people. Stroke stories make no such concessions. Pussies are always shaved, cocks are always 12 inches long, tits balloon into watermelons with a coating of spunk. This is okay by me. I've read stroke on occasion, and enjoyed it. But the problem with stroke is that it's almost impossible to crit. It's like trying to review directions on a Ronzini box for boiling spaghetti. The sequence of steps to follow is either grammatically sound and easy to follow, or it isn't. There's really nothing for a critic, or a reader, to say...and if those particular sex acts don't ding your doinger, you'll probably find the story disgusting, ridiculous, or tedious. Whereas good plotting, characters, and backgrounds can make even dull or abhorrent acts interesting. So if I don't review a lot of stroke or sometimes seem to make fun of it, that's why. Lastly, I want to reiterate how time-consuming doing these reviews is. I'm a normal working schlub like all of you out there. I have a nine-to-five job, a house, pets, a social life. It's a lot of work choosing which stories to read, reading them, writing succinct and amusing reviews, then posting them. It's work to maintain a website and find interesting links. I do this week after week, for an average of 25 reviews a month. I'm not complaining. I find the work very interesting. But for the other reviewers out there, I want to repeat that's it takes a lot of backbone to make the long haul. Among other news, I am still collecting website addresses, and also am collecting interesting newsgroups as well. If any of you out there want to know more about the posting and reviewing, I have posted a longer edition of the ASS story codes and Kim's reviewer's guidelines on my website (http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh) The stories: Killer, by Stachys (M/m romance, suspense) Jungle Attack, Parts 1, 2, 3, by Islander (M/M rape, prehistoric) Brownstones and Balconies, by Jeffb15 (M/F romantic quickie) Smalltown Scandal, by Delta (M/F intrigue) Stolen Moments, by Watcher (M/F intrigue) My Sex Life, I.M. Strange (M/F teen) The Temple, by GodzillaX (M/F rape) Killer [A+] When posted: 3/28/98 Where posted: ASSGM Author: Stachys Address: stachys@eurobell.co.uk If you follow my postings regularly, you may have noticed that the stories I give A+ ratings are either well crafted or deal with their subject matter particularly well. This story is no exception. The author has done an excellent job in creating his characters and building up suspense, even though the prose was uneven in places. A teenage boy in an English town comes upon the naked corpse of another youth when he's walking his dog. It's clear the kid has been raped, and in addition to the normal feelings of shock and pity one would have in such a situation the protagonist feels a guilty pang of arousal as well. In a gay club that night he meets a man who may or may not be the serial killer, and they embark upon an affair as he tries to come to terms with both the crime and his own homosexuality. Read the whole thing through to the end, as there's a surprise I never saw coming. In sum, this story deserves its high grade for the sensitive handling of the boy's sexual identity conflicts, with another gold star for realism. Jungle Attack, Parts 1, 2, 3 [C-] When posted: 3/29/98 Where posted: ASSGM Author: Islander Address: islander@onramp.net A scientist-adventurer crash-lands his time machine somewhere in the Iron Age. He's captured by the chief of a primitive tribe and spends most of his time being raped. This was not a good story. The writing was laughable, the characters cardboard, and the plot idiotic. The sex was neither bad enough to be amusing, insightful enough to be interesting, or sadistic enough to be revolting. In fact, the whole thing came across as being concocted by a 14-year-old who's just watched a bad barbarian movie. In short, as Ookla the Mok would say, "ARRugh!" Brownstones and Balconies [B-] When posted: 3/28/98 Where posted: ASSM Author: Jeffb15 Address: jeffb15@aol.com I could tell this author was trying...and trying very hard...to write a fancy piece of erotica that might have been intended as a present for a wife or girlfriend. In it, he details what happens when he and his lover go to a party in a brownstone and later fuck on the balcony. Not bad in theory, but romantic quickies happen all the time in sex stories, and this piece had nothing new to say about it except in the use of that intriguing title. There were also a number of very peculiar descriptive phrases: "What delicacies are your ears, tender whorls inviting me deeper into a trance" "I mentally tug on the cord tied to your crotch" "The warmth of your buttery buns pressing against my stomach " that had the effect of producing snickers from this reader rather than awed literary respect. There's also this: "Damn, the underwear gets in the way. Frustrated, I take out my clasp knife and cut through the flimsy material. It falls in tatters inside the puddle of your pants." Why the hell do women in these stories never complain that their panties are ruined? And why don't complain about the crusty stains on their slacks and dresses that happened because they were forced to drive home without their panties? Smalltown Scandal, by Delta [A] When posted: 4/2/98 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: Delta Address: delta@nym.alias.net In a small, god-fearing town somewhere in the heartland of America, a teacher has an affair, and has to be dismissed from her job. But there are repercussions from the act... The writing in this short story was flawless and the technique interesting as well, the story being told by a narrator in alternating flashbacks and real-time scenes. The mystery drew me inexorably on to the story's conclusion, and there was real heartfelt emotion there as well. Make room for this one on your reading list. Stolen Moments, by Watcher [A] When received: 3/29/98 Author: Watcher Address: llxzt@hotmail.com This story also deals with intrigue, this time in the business world. A financial analyst working for Cor-Tec is called upon to do some work at the posh home of Barbara, the sharp but surprisingly vulnerable owner of the company. While he's working she asks him to spread suntan lotion on her back (she's in a bikini by the pool) and what follows is one of the most well- written oiling sequences I've read. The narrator is understandably nervous about this, as A) she's married and her husband is his boss; and B) the husband has been secretly siphoning money from the company coffers. Nothing happens the first time, however, though later CEO and employee share a special encounter where her motivations are revealed. This was an excellent story that kept surprising me...from, "Oh no, not another sun n' sex story," to "This is getting interesting" to "Wow, this was really good." The prose was technically proficient as well with nary a phrase of word out of place, and the characters were believable, especially the CEO. The narrator could have used some work--I wasn't sure of his age or exact job, for example. But this was only a small nit in something otherwise very good, with a point to make about human nature as well. My Sex Life #6 [B-] When posted: 4/1/98 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: I.M. Strange Address: IM_sub@hotmail.com The writer of this story says: "[I] have had an interesting sex life. Nobody knows everything I've done. There is a part of me that wants to be known. The Internet affords me an opportunity to cater to exhibitionism and let all us voyeurs watch as I replay My Sex Life." He's also written nos. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 7 for those voyeurs among us who can't get enough of his Sex Life, and presumably My Grocery List and My Insurance Clause will follow. He continues with "All of the stories written here are true. It's been spiced up where necessary to hold the interest of the reader, but the events as portrayed actually happened." Ohhh-kay. Didn't the media try the same thing with Monica Lewinsky? Putting aside this writer's hubris for the time being, this was an average, not particularly outstanding story straddling the median line of literate in which the narrator tells us about two girls he fucked as a redneck high school senior in the early 70s. How do we know that when no period detail is given? Hippies have a one- line mention. Both girls have great tits, the prettier one has a jiggly ass, yadda yadda yadda. Guess I've read too many this- really-happened sex stories, because this one failed to light up. The Temple [B] When posted: 3/26/98 Where posted: ASSD Author: GodzillaX Address: damos@adweb.net A young virgin is tied to an alter as a sacrifice and teased into sexual readiness by a priest. A series of thuds announces the arrival of the god/demon/creature, Thoth, who is part man, part beast, and made of solid bronze, with a gigantic penis. When the rape is over (she eventually enjoys it) she is proclaimed "queen of the valley, and is nearly worshipped by the people of the area. " The story was told in second person voice as if the narrator was a cinematographer describing a scene ("You look and can see semen coming out of the girls vagina, in great amounts") and though the tone wasn't as silly as those stories describing sexual acts from that point of view, it wasn't particularly innovative, either, and came off as a bit lazy...like someone who's narrating what's happening in the latest episode of "Xena: Warrior Princess." And it wasn't much of a story: virgin is sacrificed, gets raped, then becomes a queen. Not a lot of plot tension or character development. I also question the name "Thoth" for the god, as this is the name of an Egyptian deity with the head of a stork, and some of the descriptive passages were a trifle dumb ("her breasts stand high and proud, even lying down.") However, it was a nice ritual rape fantasy (is that an oxymoron or what?) that tries to end on a positive note, which a lot of rape fantasies don't. If you like virgin sacrifice stories you might want to read this. Comments to: ladycyrrh@aol.com Website---> http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us |