Message-ID: <810eli$9705142317@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: Path: qz!news.accessus.net!not-for-mail X-Path-Preload: news.accessus.net preloaded to thwart rogue canceller there Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: From: cyan@anon.nymserver.com Subject: NEW TG: Life With Brian Hi. This is the first story I've ever written. Let me know if you like = it, or if you think it needs more work. Thanks Becky Life with Brian. by Rebecca A. Brian and I had been best friends for as long as I could remember, = although I wondered why from time to time. Sometimes he drove me = nuts. He sometimes behaved really oafishly - or just insensitively - = and he could be opinionated, too. Not that he didn't have good = reason to be. He was always one of the smartest kids I knew, and he = was captain of the football team when we were at high school. Brian = was one of those good-looking golden boys for whom life always = naturally came easy, smiling his way through difficult situations = with a flash of his blue eyes and an easy laugh. Whenever we fell = out he always won me over again with some quick-witted remarks and a = look that seemed to say "what, you don't like me? How can you = resist?" I never figured out why he was friends with me, unless it was just an = accident of geography since we lived next door to one another when we = were kids. I was the opposite of everything Brian surrounded himself = with. While Brian's family was relatively well-off my Mom and I were = always struggling. I was only average at school, and while I wasn't = one of the geeks I wasn't very popular either. I was too short and = small to be any good at sport, and not muscular or handsome enough to = get girls easily. The girls I did go out with were more attracted by = the proximity to Brian, I think. For whatever reason, Brian and I remained friends throughout school. = After we graduated he went off to California to do pre-med at college = in Los Angeles, and I stayed in the same hokey little burg we'd grown = up in, working myself into a brain-dead state in a job in an = insurance company. I didn't have the grades for a scholarship to = college, and my Mom couldn't afford to help me out with money since = Dad had skipped out on us when I was three. There was the community = college, but I would have to move closer in to the city to attend, or = commute four hours a day on the bus. Only three months after I got the job the company went through a = round of 'downsizing', and after three more months I still hadn't = found a new job. I got a phone call around then from Brian, = wondering how I was and what I was up to. I told him I wasn't up to = much, and he told me I should come out to the coast and stay at his = place - he was sure there were more jobs in California, and he had = plenty of room. After talking it over with Mom we agreed that at = worst I'd get to see the ocean (I never had before) and I couldn=B9t = do much worse than the jobs I'd recently been getting rejections for. = Mom and my Grandma gave me farewell hugs and a couple of hundred = dollars, and I caught a bus for the bright lights. Brian met me at the bus station, and sped me home to his little = apartment in his beat up Rabbit convertible. He was wrong about = having plenty of room, I realised as soon as we walked in. Apart = from the apartment being tiny it was full of an enormous amount of = clutter. Where had he acquired all this stuff in such a short time? = I said as much and he told me all the furniture had come with his = previous girlfriend, Ashleigh, who had dropped out a few months = earlier and decided to leave for Nepal on some weird spiritual = enlightenment thing. Brian told me she was coming back but he didn't = know when. He looked kind of dejected when he talked about that so I = didn't press him on it. I did think at the time that Ashleigh's = sense of interior decorating needed adjustment, but the awfulness of = the striped couch was matched by Brian's evident total inability to = clean so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. We agreed I'd have to sleep on the couch for the time being. Brian = proposed that as soon as I got a job we could move to a bigger = apartment and share the expense, which sounded fine with me. In the = meantime he would cover all the bills and rent from the money his = parents gave him. Within a few days it was just like old times. Despite our occasional = ups and downs I was always more relaxed in Brian's presence than with = anyone else, and he seemed glad to have someone to distract him from = Ashleigh=B9s absence. Pretty soon he began to devote more time to = his studies, so I tried not to disturb him and devoted my time to = searching for work. In a few weeks I had begun to realise that in Los Angeles a = high-school diploma didn't qualify me for much more than a car wash = attendant. I found that out when I got a job washing cars. It = didn't last, though. One of the guys I was working with, Bob, had an = argument with a customer a few weeks after I started, and it = developed into a fight. I was kind of shocked, and I just stood = there while they hit one another. When the customer filed a = complaint with the police he claimed that there were two guys = fighting with him - I don't know why unless he was embarrassed at Bob = humiliating him - and my boss decided to fire both of us to shut the = customer and the police up. Brian thought the whole incident was hilarious, since he knew I'd = never been in a fight with anyone my whole life except the time Nicky = Davis hit me in third grade, which didn't count because I was winded = so it wasn't a fight, it was a single punch. Needless to say I was less than amused. I had no more savings at = all. I couldn't even afford to get my hair cut. As it got longer I = took to tying it back most days, and I always put it in a ponytail = when I went for a job. Brian tried his best to cheer me up, and made = sure the refrigerator was well-stocked and we never wanted for = anything at home, but I was dispirited with my lack of success with = jobs and the difficulty of getting one without references. I started = to sleep late, and mope around the house all day because I had no = money to go out. One day I became aware that I really didn't like = myself that much anymore. After about two months of this I was at a low ebb, and one night over = pizza which he had paid for I was unburdening myself on Brian yet = again when suddenly he told me to cut it out, he'd had enough of my = whining. I was shocked, and upset, but I knew he was right - I had = been complaining a lot lately. He told me if I really wanted = something to do I could start by cleaning the apartment up a little, = he didn't know how I could be at home all day but the place looked = worse than ever. I started to say that he was the source of most of = the mess but caught myself and held it in. I owed Brian an awful lot. Later he seemed to realise that he'd hurt my feelings with his = outburst, and to make it up to me he treated me to a movie. It was = typical Brian, to act as though nothing had happened and be his usual = charming witty self as we drove through the warm night with the top = down. By the end of the evening I'd forgotten all about our argument. In the morning I made sure I cleaned the kitchen, bathroom and living = room thoroughly while Brian was at college. I left his bedroom = alone, I figured that was his business. In return, Brian started to try to involve me more in his life = outside the apartment. I got to meet more of his friends from = college who were mostly nice although we didn't have a lot in common = except for Brian. I could see that a couple of girls in his year = were infatuated with him. He still had those good looks and that = charm, but it seemed he was still hung up on Ashleigh and didn=B9t = notice all the other attention. Brian decided we should both be fitter, and we started jogging = together in the mornings before he went off to classes. At first I = was reluctant, but it did make me feel better and got me out of the = apartment. We both started taking vitamins, and tried to eat better = foods. In a few weeks I noticed both our moods improved = substantially, so I guess good health does have some short term = benefits as well as the lasting ones Brian was keen about. Over the next few months my success with jobs was just as limited, = and I toyed with the idea of going back home to Mom. But I enjoyed = my time with Brian, although I was seeing less and less of him as his = study increased. And although I'd so far had only a little exposure = to LA it seemed so much more exciting than my home town, and I didn't = think I could stand to go back to somewhere where everyone knew me = and I wasn=B9t anything. In LA I was a failure but at least no-one = except Brian knew. I got to be a very good housekeeper. Brian commented on it one = morning about six months after I moved in, and as I looked around I = had to admit the place had changed since I first saw it. Apart from = some general cleaning I'd also moved some stuff around, washed the = curtains and put a cover on the horrible couch to tone it down a bit. = While the place didn't look like it would make Architectural Digest, = it looked like my Mom wouldn't drop dead when she saw it. Not long after that Brian got a letter from Ashleigh, the first in = ages, and it really brought him down into a slump. He became kind of = listless and empty, and didn=B9t want to talk about it, so I tried my = best to be supportive and didn=B9t pry. I made sure he ate well and = always had clean clothes and all that kind of stuff so that at least = he could focus on his studies. He looked at me kind of funny one = night as I was doing the dishes after dinner and said "you know = Chris, you make a terrific wife". I threw the dishcloth at him in = mock anger and he gave me his first smile in ages. Brian's spirits improved quickly after that, and I figured that he = was finally over Ashleigh. She sure had made a big impression on him = considering they=B9d only been together for a few months. Anyway, he = devoted himself more to work, but we also did more stuff out like = in-line skating and some hiking. About nine months after I moved to LA I started to feel a kind of = strange fatigue, but I passed it off as a mild virus and didn't = think much about it. I did notice that I wasn=B9t able to run quite = as well as I had been. I thought maybe I needed to improve my muscle = tone a little, and so I signed up for a yoga class that was taught = after hours at the civic centre. Brian agreed to pay for it as a = present for my eighteenth birthday, on the understanding that I = wasn't going to go all mystical on him like Ashleigh did and wig out = for Nepal or anything. I had to reassure him that it wasn't that = kind of course - it had very little meditation and a lot of muscle = work. Even so, I found that I had lost a little of the strength I = had, and holding some of the poses was more difficult than I=B9d = imagined it would be. Most of the others in my yoga class were women, and I struck up a = friendship with one woman about ten years older than me. Her name = was Barbara and she was married with two kids. She referred to the = yoga as her sanity break. She started driving me home after the = class finished because it was pretty much on her way. I liked her, = she reminded me of a younger version of my Mom, who I was missing. I started losing weight, even though I thought I was still eating the = same amounts. I didn't notice it at first because we didn=B9t have a = set of scales in the apartment, but I did notice that some of my = jeans were looser on me and so were the collars on my shirts. Some = of them were getting kind of thin, and I thought maybe they'd = stretched. But in the bathroom one morning I noticed that I was = definitely thinner than I used to be. I started to worry that I was = wasting away. Finally I got a little work. Barbara told me her husband needed some = part time assistance with his business, routine stuff like mail-outs = to clients and keeping track of orders and deliveries. It was only a = day a week, but he could pay me cash and I could choose the day that = was best for me. I was really happy, not just because of the money, = which wasn't going to be much, but because it would be my money and I = wouldn't have to ask Brian for as much each week. Brian was pleased for me, but reiterated that we were doing fine with = the money we had, He said I shouldn't feel obliged to contribute to = the house expenses - the money I earned should be mine. So I went to = work for Barbara=B9s husband, John, who was nice enough but a bit = distant. The first day I started there I got the idea that he didn't = really need me but that Barbara might have talked him into employing = me. I tried to impress him anyway, doing the work scrupulously, and = dressing as well as I could. I had become very used to having long = hair by now, and so I always made sure my hair was tied back, and I = was as polite as possible. It didn't seem to matter, he always = regarded me with a kind of surreptitious distrust. I tried to make sure the house was as clean as ever and that Brian = always got a healthy evening meal. I didn=B9t want my work to = interfere with that, because I was conscious of Brian's generosity in = paying for all our living expenses. I even began to clean his room = as well as the rest of the apartment. One day during the course of = cleaning I found a few letters and photos which Ashleigh had sent = him. I idly flicked through the photos. She sure was gorgeous. I = could see why Brian would still be hung up on her. I felt guilty = looking at the photos for some reason, so I decided not to pry = through the letters and put them back in the drawer I=B9d found them = in. Brian=B9s room still had a fair bit of Ashleigh's stuff in it. That = made sense, I guess, since she had promised him she was coming back. = I straightened Brian's things up as much as I could, but I left the = drawers with Ashleigh's underwear and other stuff untouched. I = didn=B9t think Brian wanted his life totally organised. The apartment looked great, and I saved a little money from the job, = so I spent a little on a couple of minor things to brighten the place = up. I was gonna buy myself some clothes with the first few paychecks = I got, but I figured Brian had been really good to me and so I wanted = to spend the money on stuff we could both benefit from. Brian seemed = pleased with the minor changes I made around the place, and I felt = good for having done it. Anyway, there were paychecks in the future = to take care of clothing and other stuff. The clothes I had were = worn, but who cared? John didn't seem to care how I looked at work. = I guess the benefit of running a mail-order business is you never = have to see the customers. A few weeks after I started work I was in the shower when I noticed = my nipples were unusually sensitive, painful even. I studied them = and noticed that they looked pinker, and a little swollen. There was = a little hard lump under each of them. I wondered if I had some kind = of infection, and whether it was related to the weight loss. I = thought I'd ask Brian, he was still only doing the pre-med course but = he was the closest thing to a medical reference I had. But I was too embarrassed for the next couple of weeks. I almost = asked him one night after dinner, but then I felt self-conscious and = changed the subject before I got to ask anything. Then after a = couple of weeks the pain went away, although my nipples stayed a bit = puffy. If anything they were even more swollen. Over the next month I noticed Brian sneaking quick glances at me when = he thought I wasn=B9t looking. I wasn=B9t sure what he was looking = at, but whenever I turned to meet his gaze he looked away. I found I was needing to sleep more. I still got up early to go = jogging with Brian, but I started taking little naps in the = afternoons on days I wasn=B9t working. I thought I might still have = been losing weight, so I bought a cheap pair of scales with some of = my own money and weighed myself. I was shocked. Since I moved to LA = I=B9d lost almost thirty pounds! I wasn=B9t a big guy to begin with. = I studied myself closely in the mirror, concerned by my still puffy = nipples and the amount of muscle I seemed to have lost from my = shoulders and chest. My legs were still in good shape, the jogging = seemed to be helping that, and I looked fit. Maybe I was naturally = meant to be lower in weight and it was just the exercise? Later that evening I finally asked Brian what he knew about sudden = weight loss. He wanted to know why I was asking, and I mentioned = most of the changes that had been taking place. He shrugged, and = said it didn't seem like anything to worry about, but if I wanted to = see a Doctor... I knew where that might lead considering the job I = had with John didn't give me health benefits. I didn=B9t want to mention what was happening to my chest to Brian. = There were some things guys just didn't talk about. Over the next two months my weight seemed to stabilise at a little = over 100lbs, which was alarming, but then it rose another 10lbs. But = there was no doubt about it now, my chest was definitely doing = something weird. One Sunday morning, a non-jogging day, I was in bed = contemplating the day ahead when I ran my hand over my chest and = noticed how extraordinarily good it felt. I stroked my nipples a = little and was rewarded with a very intense sensation. That's when I = knew. I leapt out of my bed on the couch and ran to the bathroom. Tearing = off the t-shirt I usually wore to bed I stared at myself in the = mirror. I was turning into a girl. Oh so slowly, but that was what was happening. I had small but = definite breasts with largish dark pink nipples, and the weight I had = put on recently seemed all to have gone to my butt. There was an = indentation at my waist, and I noticed that my neck and arms looked = more slender. The hair on my legs still looked kind of dark, but it = seemed as though it was thinning. I had never had much on my arms = and none on my chest, so it was hard to tell anything from that. My penis didn't look as though it was affected much at all. Although = now that I reflected on it I hadn't had an erection for a long time. = I wondered why I hadn=B9t noticed that before? I sat on the edge of the bathtub and wondered how and why this was = happening. I must have some kind of strange disease or something. I = had to find out a way to see a doctor. Eventually I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror again. I = pulled my hair up and studied the way I looked. My face had changed = a little I think, though it was hard to tell. It looked thinner = overall, but my cheekbones looked bigger and my lips a little fuller. = Perhaps I was just imagining it. I'd have to try to find a photo = from a while ago to make a comparison. I turned with my back to the = mirror and tried to look over my shoulder to see how I looked from = behind. I noticed my back looked very much like a girl=B9s, too. Strangely, I felt more surprised than upset. I got into the shower = and washed my hair. On the spur of the moment I decided to reach for = the razor and shaving foam on the vanity and began to shave my legs = while I was in the shower. I nicked myself once, but mostly it was = surprisingly easy. Then, for good measure, I shaved my armpits too. I got out of the shower and dried myself off. "And the colored = girls go doop, she-doop, doop-doop, she-doop" I sang under my breath. = How did the rest of it go? "Plucked her eyebrows on the way, shaved = her legs..." Well, I wasn't quite ready to pluck my eyebrows. But = my legs felt great. I idly thought I must have been losing my = marbles to shave them, but they looked pretty good as well. No = regrets, I decided. I stayed in the bathroom a while, looking myself over. Eventually I = guess I came to my senses. I realised I was gonna have to start = covering myself up a little more unless I wanted Brian to notice what = was happening to me. I guessed I should also work out a way to get = to a doctor pretty soon. Idly I wondered why I wasn't really upset = about all of this. I got out some surgical bandage from the bathroom cupboard and wound = it around my chest in an attempt to flatten out my - well, my = breasts, that was what they were now, there was no question about = that. When I was reasonably satisfied I wrapped a towel around = myself, including my chest this time instead of letting it hang = around my waist. I wondered how come Brian hadn't said anything to = me yet. Surely he must have noticed this before considering I hung = around the house in t-shirts most of the time. I stopped worrying = about that and got dressed. My legs felt amazing as I pulled my = jeans over them, so smooth and, I had to admit, kind of sexy. Then I = combed my still damp hair out. It was well and truly down between my = shoulder blades by now. I had gotten used to it being so long, in = fact I kind of liked it. During the next week I explored a couple of aspects of my body I = hadn't known about before. My nipples were no longer sore, but they = felt great when I touched them. I played with them idly one morning, = and although I didn=B9t get an erection I got the most wonderful = feelings from them. One morning in the bathroom after our run when = Brian had gone off to college I experimented a little to see how much = like a girl I was becoming. I tied my hair up and tried to thin my = eyebrows out a little. I remembered reading years ago in one of my = Mom's magazines that you had to do that from underneath the brows = rather than on top. I only took a little off, it hardly seemed = noticeable. Brian didn't notice it when he came home Next day I went a little bit further. I had been tidying Brian's = room the day before and noticed a box of Ashleigh=B9s stuff in the = bottom of the closet. It was just some old makeup, a couple of = lipsticks and some eyeliner and a dried up mascara. So I tried on = the lipstick and the eyeliner. I couldn=B9t get anything out of the = mascara, it seemed like it was all dried up. I didn't much like the = way the lipstick looked, either, I guessed it was the wrong colour = for me since Ashleigh had dark hair and mine is blonde. But it was = an interesting experiment. I thinned my eyebrows ever so slightly = again the next day. I realised a few weeks later that my body was still changing. We = were jogging, and although I'd bound my breasts up I could feel the = weight on my chest moving around a little as we ran. Next day I did = the bandage up tighter but there was still a bit of discomfort. I = noticed after the shower that my breasts seemed to have grown a bit = more. They didn't look much bigger, but they felt kind of heavier. = And the nipples were definitely larger. Maybe I should stop playing = with them, I thought. The other thing was that I wasn't needing to shave quite as much. I = had never needed to shave more than twice a week, anyway. The hairs = didn't seem to be getting any thinner (well, maybe a little) but they = weren=B9t growing as fast. One morning I decided to just pluck the = ones I could see instead of shaving them. There were only about = twenty or thirty. I had always hated shaving, and not having to made = my skin feel a lot better. But I kept shaving my legs. I asked = myself why I was doing it, because I thought it was a little bit = kinky. But I guess in the context of the way my body was changing it = was the least thing I needed to worry about. It did mean that I = needed to wear long sweat pants when jogging with Brian, though. I started to jog a bit less strenuously, and found that if I moved a = little differently there was less impact and I could still run = comfortably. I was pleased, since I figured a lower impact would = help prevent injuries anyway. I was being more careful about how much of myself I let Brian see. = Because I slept in the living room I didn=B9t have a lot of privacy, = but I was always up and dressed before Brian even stirred so there = wasn=B9t that much chance he=B9d see me naked. Just in case I took = to getting dressed in the bathroom so there wasn't any chance at all = of trouble. My clothes started to be hard to wear. My jeans just didn't seem to = fit right any more, they were way too small around my hips - = painfully tight in fact. And way too loose around the waist. I = tried belting them in a bit, but that made the size of my waist way = too obvious. It made me look too much like a girl, and I was worried = Brian was gonna say something if I did that. I still hadn=B9t saved = much money, but I knew I was gonna have to do something about buying = some jeans that fit. I went shopping during the next week, and bought two new pairs of = jeans from the Gap. The saleswoman and I spent a lot of time trying = to find the right size. The first thing I told her, without = thinking, was my old size, and she looked at me kind of weird. = Eventually we found some that fit. I wasn=B9t sure what to think = when I noticed they were 'classic women's fit'. Brian complimented me on the new jeans when he saw them on me, and = strangely I blushed. I was pleased he liked them. I realised when I = tried them on with some of my other stuff, though, that my old = clothes were getting too faded and ratty for me to keep wearing them = for much longer. And my shirts kind of hung on me, since I'd lost so = much weight up around my shoulders. Since my hips and butt had gotten so much bigger I was having trouble = with my old underwear, too. I stole a couple of pairs of panties = from Ashleigh=B9s stuff, and they fit very well. I also found that = I was a lot more comfortable in the jeans if I tucked my penis behind = me inside the panties. What the heck, I figured, panties and such = like were the least of my worries. I wasn=B9t queer, I was just = turning into a girl! Work was pretty boring, but I was grateful for the money, however = small it was. I'd been for three more jobs recently, but now I was = having to explain to the interviewers what I'd been doing for the = past year or so. 'Home duties' didn=B9t seem to really cut it with = them. I couldn't mention the job with John because that was off the = books, and the only other job I'd ever had was those three short = months back home. My future seemed bleak, so I was glad when John = offered me an extra day at work, and then an extra half day as well. = I did notice he'd started acting a bit different around me, though, = which I took as a sign that he actually knew I existed. He was even = pretty nice a few times. Of course whenever Barbara came in she and = I had a great time talking and laughing, but I tried not to seem like = I was slacking off. We had both stopped the yoga classes together, = although I still practised at home every morning after jogging, so it = was great that I still got to see her from time to time through work. = Apart from Brian she was really the only friend I had in LA. It had been four more months since I'd first noticed the changes that = were happening to me, and the weather was starting to get warmer. My = hair was now down to just above my waist. In the supermarket I = noticed people started to mistake me for a girl from time to time, = especially if I had my hair out. I also noticed it was getting = harder to bind my breasts up. So around the house when Brian was out = I stopped bandaging them up. Every afternoon when I wasn't working I = had a little nap, and afterward I=B9d put the bandage on and get up = to prepare dinner. In the mornings, though, I would let them hang = free, which felt much more comfortable. A couple of times I tried on some of the things that were left in = Ashleigh=B9s side of the closet. There wasn't a lot there, just a = few dresses and a couple of blouses and skirts. Mostly they fitted = me pretty well. Each time I tried them on I marvelled at the way my = body had developed, but I also felt guilty rummaging through her = things. I didn't do it often. Out of more curiosity I bought myself = a better color lipstick and some cheap mascara one afternoon. I = didn=B9t have anywhere to wear it, but I was trying to figure out = more about who I was becoming. It looked much better than Ashleigh's = old colours. I started to think I might even be a little bit good = looking. The thing that made me finally go to a doctor a few months later was = that my penis seemed to be shrinking slightly. I hadn=B9t had an = erection in over two years now, since just after I'd moved to LA. = That didn't really worry me, especially since I got so much pleasure = out of playing with my breasts. But although a lot of the other = changes that had happened to me hadn=B9t bothered me much I thought I = should go and get all this checked out. After all, inside I was = still a guy even if my body was beginning to resemble a game show = hostess. I had saved a bit of money, enough for a visit to the doctor. I went = late one afternoon. At reception I introduced myself as Chris = Neilsen, and didn't have to wait long before I was called by the = doctor, a pretty woman in her mid-thirties who was about my height. = In her office we talked for a short while and then she started = looking at me a bit strangely. She looked at the notes the = receptionist had made, which were basically just my name and address = and the fact that I didn=B9t have insurance, and then she said "So, = Chris is short for...?" As soon as I said Christopher I knew from her expression what the = problem was. She had thought I was a girl, too. So that made it = easier to tell her what the problem was, since clearly she could see! = She had me undress and then she examined me. "You obviously have = some kind of hormonal imbalance", she said. "How long has your body = been like this?" I told her the whole story, about losing all the = weight and everything else. She asked me how I felt about the = changes and I shrugged. I figured I shouldn=B9t have been worried = but really I was kind of used to things, it had all happened so = slowly. And there were some things I liked. I know I was more = sensitive in a lot of ways, especially to smells and touch and subtle = sounds. I didn=B9t mind that. She told me I should buy myself a sports bra if I was going to keep = running, at least until she could arrange for a mastectomy. When she = said that word I flinched involuntarily, which she noticed. I = didn=B9t want anyone to cut into my breasts! She murmured something = like "if that=B9s what you decide you want" and told me to get = dressed. What did I want? Who knows? I walked out of her office and down to the bus stop feeling kind of = odd. So, she=B9d told me I had a hormonal imbalance. Like, duh! = She couldn't tell me why without a whole lot of tests. She did tell = me that I was otherwise incredibly healthy and fit, which I pretty = much knew. Apart from that virus back before I lost weight I hadn't = been sick for years, and since I exercised almost every day I knew my = body was in great shape. It was just a strange shape! As I stood at the bus stop I noticed in the corner of my eye that a = guy was looking me over. Then I realised I hadn=B9t put my bandage = back on after I'd left the doctor, and he could see my nipples = clearly outlined through my t-shirt. I crossed my arms to try to = cover them, which had the paradoxical effect of pushing my bust line = higher. Fortunately the bus came at that moment and I got on. He = remained at the stop, so I guess it wasn't his route. As the bus = pulled away I caught his eye again, and surprised myself by giving = him a wink and a smile. He grinned back at me, and for some reason I = felt really good. By the time I got home it was getting late. I stopped off at the = mini-mart down the street and got some ice-cream for dinner. Yi, the = Taiwanese woman who ran the place, gave me an enormous smile when she = saw me, and told me how well I was looking. I realised I was still = smiling, ever since that guy at the bus stop. We chatted briefly as = we always did when I went to the mart for anything, then I hurried = back home. I did like how that guy had made me feel. That was = pretty weird, wasn't it? I walked up the stairs singing softly to myself, swinging the plastic = bag with the icecream in it and thinking about what I was going to = cook Brian for dinner. I opened the door and was sailing blithely = through the living room when he appeared in the doorway to the = kitchen and said "Hi, I=B9m home early". "Hi," I said cheerfully, before I noticed his eyes go straight to my = chest, they flicked straight back up again, and he tried to keep the = expression on his face fixed, but I had noticed him looking at my = breasts and I blushed. I squeezed past him into the kitchen and put = the icecream into the freezer. I didn't know what to say as I turned = around. He couldn't stop looking at my chest, though he was trying hard not = to. I folded my arms again. "Uh, Chris..." he gurgled. I had my back to the fridge, and I sank down to the floor and put my = head my knees. Uh oh. What was he gonna say, now that he knew? = Brian wasn't just my best friend, he was practically my only friend. = He walked over to me and bent down to take my hand. I looked up at = him and he pulled me to my feet. I was terrified. Was he gonna hit = me? What? Instead he hugged me. I could feel his hands on my back, = and my breasts flattened against his chest. I realised for the first = time just how much bigger than me he was. He probably weighed at = least twice what I did and then some. He pulled back from me and looked me up and down, paying particular = attention to my breasts again. I tossed my hair behind me and tried = to smile, but I guess I was really looking like I was gonna burst = into tears. "Wow", Brian said. Then I did burst into tears. He hugged me again, = and then he poured us both a large tumbler of Scotch each. I slugged = mine down, and he poured me another. "Did you know you=B9re = beautiful?" he suddenly said to me. Well, that caused some strange reactions in me! I blushed again, and = looked away. I was secretly pleased. And then I realised, for the = very first time, that I loved Brian. Not the way guys like each = other. I actually loved him in a really deep way, and in a physical = way, too. I realised that he=B9d known that things were changing = between us for a while, but he had been too kind to say anything to = me - until today, when he couldn't pretend he didn't know because he = couldn't take his eyes off my tits. I raised my eyes to meet his again and he tilted my face up to him = and bent to kiss me. I just melted into him. He kissed me and = touched me and then I felt his hand moving up to my breast and it = felt so good! After a little while I kind of lost track of what was = happening, because everything he was doing felt wonderful. Then he = actually picked me up and carried me into his room. He stood me beside the bed and undid the button on my jeans and began = to pull them down. He looked a little surprised when he saw the = panties, but he didn=B9t say anything. He pulled my t-shirt over my = head. He began to undo his own clothing as he bent to kiss my neck, = and then my chest. After he had his shirt off he lifted me onto the = bed, standing, so that my nipples were at the height of his mouth, = and he flicked his tongue over them as he took his own jeans off. I = moaned and closed my eyes. Then he lifted me again and lay me down = on the bed. He explored my body with his mouth for a long time, kissing me on my = belly and my thighs and my breasts and even on the arches of my feet. = I was on fire. I was running my hands over his body and loving the = way he felt - his body was so different to my own! Eventually I came = to his cock, and when I felt it I opened my eyes in surprise. It was = enormous, at least it was now that it was fully erect. I stroked it = a few times and he smiled gently at me and then went back to kissing = me again. Then, as though he could bear it no longer, he rolled me = over on the bed and tore down my panties, and then I could feel him = applying something slick and wet to my anus. I tensed a little, but = I didn't say anything. If this was what he wanted... He told me again how beautiful he thought I was, and then came into = me gently - at least I think he was trying to be gentle. But it felt = like agony, he felt way too big for me. I whimpered, and he = withdrew. Then he brushed my hair off to one side and kissed my neck = until I relaxed, then came in me again, this time forcefully. He = held my shoulders and pumped into me, and the pain gradually gave way = to a different feeling, a good feeling. I did love Brian, and I = loved it that he liked the things that had happened to me, and it was = good to have him inside me like this. After a while, as I was = starting to enjoy the sensations, he tensed and shuddered and came = into me in an enormous series of spasms. A few moments later he = withdrew. I could feel his seed inside me. He lay behind me with my = back to him, and cupped my breasts and stroked them some more. I = smiled. I felt great, better than I ever had when I'd had sex with a = girl, even though I didn't come. I snuggled into him as he held me = and told me he loved me. I warm glow went through me and we lay = there together for a very long time. *** It was getting dark by the time we got up from the bed. Brian kissed = my neck and told me it was time to go have a shower, so I stood up = and turned away from him, worried that my body would look odd from = the front, and scurried into the bathroom. I felt his seed running = down my leg as I walked. I took a very long time in the shower as I = washed my hair. When I came out I wrapped a towel around my body, = including my breasts, and smiled shyly at him. He stood up and came = over to kiss me. "Let=B9s go out," he said. "Somewhere nice. Why don=B9t you get = dressed up?" I was about to respond that I had no clothes that would be 'dressed = up' when it hit me that Brian was thinking of me as a woman, and = suggesting that we go out together as a couple. I blushed again. He = released me from the embrace and patted me on my butt. Then he went = off to have a shower, and I dried my hair. I hardly ever used a = dryer on it, which meant it was in good condition for long hair. = After I finished it had a lot more body to it, and it shone. By that = time Brian was out of the shower again and had dressed and was in the = living room watching television and waiting for me. All my stuff was = in the living room, but I realised I didn't need my stuff, I needed = some of the things that Ashleigh had left behind. I rifled through = her drawers and found a very sexy pair of panties I hadn=B9t seen = before. I looked through the few bras that were there, too, but all = of them were a little small for me. Ashleigh had been an A-cup, and = I was easily approaching a C. It was probably better to do without = one. I took a long black sleeveless linen dress from the closet and = put it on. It had a low back with straps that crossed below my = shoulder blades, and it gathered my breasts together a little and = accentuated my cleavage. I had tried it on before, of course, though = I think my breasts had become a little larger since then. I was glad I'd practiced with makeup before. Even so I was a little = nervous, and I had to reapply my eyeliner because I was shaking. I = kept thinking of the way Brian had made me feel when we were in bed. = Eventually I got the makeup right. I looked at myself in the mirror, = and then reached for one of the barrettes in the box of Ashleigh's = stuff and pinned my hair up on my left side. It showed off my neck = and breasts better. The only shoes I could find were a pair of strappy black sandals with = a chunky 2" heel. I didn=B9t have any trouble walking in them but = they were a little tight on my feet and I hoped I wouldn=B9t have too = stand up too much in them. Finally I was ready. I took a deep breath and went into the living = room to see Brian. He smiled broadly when he saw me, and then he = stood and took both my hands in his. "Chris, you look absolutely = beautiful", he said, looking me deep in the eyes. I knew he meant = it, and I relaxed and smiled back. We went downstairs to the car. I discovered I had to be careful on = the stairs in heels. In deference to my hair Brian left the top up = although it was a balmy night. Brian took me to a wonderful little restaurant that was dark and = intimate, and we were given a very private table over in a corner, = with just a candle lighting it. At first I was very nervous that = people in the restaurant would realise I wasn't exactly a woman, and = I was shaking a little as we were led to our table. I couldn't = remember when the last time was that I'd eaten out. The waiter = pulled my chair out for me so I could sit down, and I remembered to = smooth my dress under me so it didn't crease too badly. At first I was afraid to talk over dinner. I thought my voice would = give me away. I didn't have a very deep voice at all, but I knew I = would sound like a guy when I spoke. So I let Brian do the ordering, = and mostly that night I just listened to Brian talk, and asked him = the occasional question to keep him going. He never had any trouble = talking, and that evening he was especially witty and entertaining. = I found myself laughing and smiling and overcoming my nervousness = easily. As we left the restaurant I took his arm. He seemed to like = it, and that made me feel good. When we got back to the apartment he undressed me slowly, murmuring = his approval of my body before he once again laid me on the bed and = made love to me. This time I wasn't as scared when he came into me, = and he lasted for longer. Afterward we lay together facing one = another, both very happy. He asked me how I felt about the events of the day, and about looking = the way I did. I told him I felt better then than I ever had before = in my life. I also said that I was surprised by my reaction to all = the changes in my body. I should have been afraid of everything that = had happened to me, but instead I seemed to accept the changes quite = happily. Maybe I had been meant to be a girl all along. "I've thought that about you for years," said Brian. "You've always = fascinated me that way." Then he told me he'd like it if I kept on = being a girl, his girl. I realised there wasn't anything else I = wanted as much. I ran my hands through the thick mat of blond hair = on his chest and he told me he loved me, that he=B9d always loved me. = We made love again and then finally went to sleep. *** Next morning he woke me with a kiss. I saw that it was much later = than I usually woke, and that we had both slept through our jogging = time. So I hugged him and then jumped up from the bed and pulled on = my panties. I borrowed one of his giant t-shirts, and trudged off to = the bathroom and then to the kitchen to make breakfast for him. We = each took our vitamins with orange juice, and this morning I decided = to squeeze it, fresh, from the bag of oranges I had bought a couple = of days earlier. As I finished squeezing the juice Brian came into the kitchen, = showered and dressed for college. He patted me on the butt again as = I poured his juice, and stroked his fingers up my thigh as he was = sitting down. I purred. Then he handed me a credit card, and gave = me instructions to use it sparingly but to buy myself some new = clothes that day. I was gonna protest but he would have none of it. = As he said, I needed some new clothes anyway. He pulled me into his = lap and told me that if I was going to be Christina instead of = Christopher I was going to have to pay more attention to the things = he said. I pulled a face at that and told him that he'd have to look = up feminism in the college library, and we both laughed. After I kissed him goodbye at the front door I did the breakfast = dishes and decided to take him at his word. I called Barbara up and = asked her if she was busy, and if she'd mind coming shopping with me = for some stuff I needed. I didn't tell her what had happened between = Brian and I, or the kinds of things I needed help shopping for, but = she seemed very pleased to get out of the house and said she'd be = over to pick me up in an hour or so. I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt (only this time one of Ashleigh's), = then brushed my hair carefully and pinned it back from my face but = without tying it up. I put on just a trace of mascara and some = lipstick. Then I spent the rest of the hour watching bad morning = television and talking into Brian=B9s tape recorder, trying to = imitate the way the women on TV talked. I found if I talked softly = and pronounced words more carefully I sounded much better. I knew = I'd need a lot of practice, but I felt more confident. The buzzer for the door downstairs sounded and I pushed the button to = let Barbara come up. As I opened the door to let her in her face = registered only mild surprise at the way I looked, though she did a = double take when she saw my breasts puching though the t-shirt. = "Well, hello," she said, smiling. "Haven't you come out of your = shell today." I blushed and said hello, trying my best to keep my voice sounding = acceptable. I asked her whether she wanted coffee, and she sat at = the kitchen table while I made it. "I wondered when you'd get around to telling everyone," she said. I = looked at her questioningly. She told me that she'd known for ages = that something was going on. She'd noticed in yoga classes that my = body had been changing dramatically. I protested that I had been = careful to bind my breasts when I was doing yoga, but she told me it = was my hips and butt more than anything else that had given the game = away. I shrugged. Whatever. At least she was still my friend. She = asked me if I wanted to be called anything different, and I said = Brian had called me Christina so I guessed Chris was still okay. She = raised her eyebrows at that. "How does Brian feel about all this?" I blushed all the way down to my toes. Barbara had never met Brian, = but I'd told her all about him and our friendship over the years. I = think she guessed from the way I skittered nervously around the = kitchen that he and I had been more than friends since he found out. = I told Barbara that he had discovered my secret by accident when he = came home early the previous day. We finished our coffee and drove down to the mall. The first thing = we did was head to the lingerie department. I had to try on a few = bras before I worked out which ones fit best. I was right, I was a = C-cup. I bought a few cheap pairs of panties, too. Then we went to = the cosmetics section of one of the anchor stores and got a makeover = from a woman at one of the counters. I only bought some blusher and = a powder compact, but she taught me some tricks I didn't know. The = three of us actually had a pretty good time as the consultant showed = me how to apply stuff. I tried to keep my voice soft and a little = higher, and she seemed not to think there was anything unusual about = me. Barbara distracted her from time to time when she thought I was = taking too much. Then I bought a new pair of women's sneakers to replace the rather = awful pair I had on. Barbara told the salesman to throw the old ones = in the bin, and demanded that I also buy a pair of high-heeled pumps. = I told her I was trying not to spend too much because it was Brian's = credit card, and she raised her eyebrows at that, too. But I gave in = and bought them. Walking back through the mall Barbara diverted me to a small boutique = and ruffled through the racks before pulling out a short red silk = dress. She told me to go try it on. I hesitated, since I certainly = wasn=B9t going to spend that much of Brian=B9s money, but she bundled = me into the fitting room. When I came out she and the saleswoman = exchanged glances and Barbara said immediately "We'll take it." I = protested, and she told me she was buying it for me as a gift and = that I should shutup and be thankful. I dutifully thanked her and = insisted we leave the mall before I could do more damage to anyone's = bank balance. But instead of leaving we went and had lunch at a cafe downstairs in = the mall. Feeling guilty, I paid for lunch for both of us out of my = own money. Then Barbara led me over to a hair salon, and asked if = they could squeeze in an appointment that afternoon. I took her = aside and said that I liked my hair long and didn't need it cut, but = she insisted that it would look better if the ends were trimmed and = that Brian would appreciate it. So in I went. Barbara said she had = some shopping she wanted to do by herself, and scurried off. At the urging of the stylist I agreed to have a couple of inches = taken off my hair, so that it would be healthier and more manageable. = I was reluctant, but she pointed out that it was almost down to my = butt and that it would probably be better to cut it even if only for = the sake of my spine. So I agreed. A few hours later I emerged with = my hair trimmed and styled and softly curled and subtly lightened = from its usual mousy blonde to a lighter more feminine shade. = Barbara, laden down with shopping, smiled and told me I looked = beautiful and that I was going to make an enormous impression on = Brian that night. We drove home late in the afternoon. I invited Barbara up again to = chat while I began to prepare dinner. Then she gave me two small = shopping bags, and told me I couldn't look inside until after she'd = gone but that they contained other presents I would need. I tried to = be angry at her for spending so much on me, but she told me it was = her way of making up for John underpaying me so badly. That was when = I remembered I had to work the next day, and that John would need to = know. Barbara said not to worry, he had already figured most of it = out and he'd decided he liked me much better as a girl than as a boy. = She said it had been a good thing for him to have to deal with how = strange and androgynous I had been some days at work, because he had = been very narrow minded until he discovered he had a soft-spot for me. So that was one hurdle out of the way. We were nattered on about nothing in particular for a while, and then = Barbara said to me "How did you bring about this amazing change? Is = it a local doctor?" I looked at her blankly, and explained that the = changes in my body had just kind of happened, and that when I=B9d = been to a doctor she=B9d said it was probably just a hormonal = imbalance. "Some imbalance," said Barbara cynically. "You haven't = been taking pills?" I told Barbara I had an aversion to drugs of almost any kind except = wine, and that the only things like that to pass my lips were the = vitamins that Brian and I took every morning. Since we both took = them - and Brian hadn=B9t changed - that couldn't be the cause. = Curious, Barbara asked to see them. I took down the bottles from the = top of the refrigerator, and she studied them carefully. She paid = particular attention to the ones for calcium and vitamin E, then = finally she said softly to me "Honey, I don=B9t know what they are, = but these sure ain=B9t vitamins." She showed me the little drug = company logos on the tablets, and then held up the vitamin C, which = had no markings. "This is a vitamin tablet." I had to sit down. How? And why wasn't Brian changed by them? = Finally I realised how dumb I was. Brian was taking them, but he = clearly wasn't swallowing them, or he was just pretending to swallow = them. I looked at Barbara, who shrugged. "Why?" I said softly, and she put = her hand on mine. Then everything became clear. Brian had done this to me. I felt = strange. Did this mean I couldn't trust him? Barbara asked me how I = felt about the changes, and I told her I felt good, I felt great. = She said that in that case I had nothing to worry about, and I should = be grateful to Brian for giving me what made me happy. She seemed = kind of unconvinced, though. I thought of what Brian had said the = previous night, "I've thought that way about you for years." Barbara told me she had to leave and get dinner started for John, but = that she would stop by at work next day to see how I was. She hugged = me and wished me luck, and told me she thought I made a beautiful = woman and she was jealous of how pretty I was. By the time she left = I was feeling a little better. I unwrapped the shopping and put on = the beautiful red dress. I felt better. Then I unwrapped the two = other presents Barbara had bought for me. The first was a copy of = 'Everywoman', which made me smile. The second was a very sexy blue = nightgown. Brian came home at his usual time. As he came through the door I = wasn=B9t sure what to do. He smiled one of his gorgeous smiles and = told me how wonderful my hair looked, then swept me up in his arms = and kissed me. I must have been a little cold, because he pulled = back from me after a moment and asked me what was wrong. I looked = across at the table, and he followed my gaze and noticed the = 'vitamins' spread out there. He looked back at me and I caught a = flash of guilt. Barbara was right. He reached out for me and held my hands in his. Looking deep into my = eyes he said "Christina, I love you, I=B9ve always loved you. I love = you more now than ever before. And you are truly beautiful. I = didn=B9t know how to tell you before, although I meant to several = times. But I knew you would like this. I knew this was right for = you." We talked. Brian had gotten the pills from a nurse he knew. From = what I could understand he had to pay quite a lot for them. But he = knew what he was doing medically. At first he had just given me = antiandrogens, which were the things that had made me weak and tired = and caused me to lose a lot of my muscles. It wasn't until later = that he=B9d begun substituting estrogens and progesterones for the = other vitamins, and my breasts and hips had started growing so much. = He told me he just couldn=B9t bear to watch me trying to be a guy, = since inside he could see a beautiful woman. Brian said a lot of other stuff, mostly about how he wanted nothing = more than to make me happy and to be with me. I learned that = Ashleigh had written to him ages ago to say that she had fallen in = love with a Dutch guy while hiking and that she was moving somewhere = in Asia with him and wasn=B9t coming back. Brian had been very hurt = by that, but that it was the thing that cleared his mind and allowed = him to see that the reason he hadn't been happy with her or other = girls was because he really wanted to be happy with me. I have to admit that all his talking began to overwhelm me. I was = trying to be stoney faced and angry with him, but he gradually wore = me down. Eventually he even got me to smile a bit. He knew then = that I had forgiven him, even if it might take a while for me to tell = him so. He knelt on the floor beside my chair and produced something from his = pocket. I hesitantly took the small box, knowing what would be = inside (I might be dumb, but I'm not completely idiotic!). It was a = small ruby and diamond engagement ring. I looked at him and he = returned my gaze. I was speechless for a few moments. I wanted to = slip the ring onto my finger, but I knew this was all too good to be = true. "Brian, I can't. I=B9m not really a woman." "Yet," he said seriously. "But you can think about that, can't you? = It can be a long engagement if you want." And with that he helped guide the ring onto my finger, then scooped = me up and took me to the bedroom. -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ .../assm/faq.html> /