Message-ID: <671eli$9705011139@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: Path: qz!news.accessus.net!not-for-mail X-Path-Preload: news.accessus.net preloaded to thwart rogue canceller there Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: From: Celeste801@aol.com Subject: Celeste's Top 15 Stories - April Celeste's Top 15 Stories - April 1997 Note: This has been one of those months! I reviewed so many good stories that I found it impossible to set a cutoff point at 15 stories. So this month the Top 15 List contains 23 stories. Go figure. Second Note: Since many readers would like to read the top stories for each month, I would appreciate it if authors would repost as many of these stories as possible. You may wish to repost the stories in alt.sex.stories.moderated, as well as in alt.sex.stories. If you wish, you can label them as Celeste's #x for April: Name of Story. Third Note: I have had great success finding these stories on the World Wide Web by using the Deja News Server (www.dejanews.com) and the service at www.reference.com. You can even find past issues of my reviews through these services. - Celeste Here's this month's list: 1. "The O'Stikkit Inn" by Mike Hunt 2. "June's First" by Mike Hunt 3. "April's First" by Uther Pendragon 4. "Mind Snatchers" by Simon bar Sinister 5. "Maria in Maine" by Mike Hunt 6. "I Learn to Think, or, Fun with Dick and Brain" by Estragon 7. "Excluded Middle" by Plainman 8. "Birthday Present" by OddManOut Anywhere 9. "Vortrek" by Uther Pendragon 10. "For Her" by Unknown Author 11. "A Summer Romance" by Jim Fix 12. "The Skier" by Mike Hunt 13. "The Temptation of Heaven's Ring" by Summer's Rose 14. "Straight Sex" by Mike Hunt 15. "She's a Tease" by Mike Hunt 16. "Another Taste of Heaven" by Summer's Rose 17. "Watching You Watching Me" by Gregarious 18. "Camp Nurse" by NightShade 19. "'F' is for Face" by Dulcinea 20. "Feet Are Neat" by Mike Hunt 21. "On The Beach" by Ellen Hayes 22. "Garden of Contemplation" by Delta 23. "Amazonia" by Tom Bombadil Here are the original reviews in alphabetical order: "Amazonia" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com) As in a scene from a B movie, Tom Largent is kidnapped by a shady character, who forces Tom to fly him to an island. After the bad guy parachutes to his apparent demise, Tom himself is forced to crash land on a desolate island, apparently somewhere in the general area of Polynesia. The unique aspect of the island is that it appears to be occupied solely by women - by women who require Tom to service them sexually. Is this an adolescent's wet dream? Is this paradise? Well, at the very least it's an extremely interesting story. I won't tell you any more details. Read it yourself. This is another good story. "Another Taste of Heaven" by Summer's Rose (SummersRose@aol.com). This author writes like Dulcinea with an anal twist. I thought I should write that down before I forgot it. I'm GLAD this author writes in the second person ("you" narrative format). Normally the "you" turns me off, because I have trouble identifying with the person being undressed - er, addressed. But these stories are so damned sexy that I NEED something to keep me distracted - something like a vivid image of Melba Toast or Rye Krisps or Sister Mary Henry talking about puberty or Al Gore giving an acceptance speech - or a story in the second person with which I cannot identify. The trouble is - I CAN identify with this story. It brings back some wonderful memories. My husband loves it when I do things like this to him, and I love it when he reciprocates. Sexy lips and hands caressing my body while I'm barely awake, stimulation of my pussy and my ass by lips that are silently telling me that they love me, a calm throbbing sensation arising from inside my body and gradually spreading outward while a tongue gently caresses the edges of my asshole and I writhe in happy agony.... All I can say to this author is this: "I hope you get what's coming to you!" "April's First" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). I originally had trouble finding Part 2 to this story; and I eventually went ahead and posted my review of parts 1 and 3. I concluded that there was no Part 2; it was an April Fool's joke. Get it? The title is April's First, and the story was posted on April 1, so.... Anyway, the real action takes place in Part 2, which didn't exist when I posted my original review. The author invited others to submit their versions of Part 2. The only author I know of who accepted this invitation was Plainman, whose "Excluded Middle" did a superb job of integrating Plainman's own style and his Princess story line into the framework set up by Pendragon. Now Pendragon has posted his version of the missing Part 2, and the result is another really good story. The story actually describes two very interesting and healthy relationships in the life of a 16-year-old girl: her romantic relationship with her boyfriend and her sibling relationship with her older sister. Both relationships are well developed, and both help make this a sexy story. One of the best things about this story is its attention to minor details. For example, when April agrees to make love to Brian for the first time, he returns to his room that night and fantasizes about the big event. Suddenly he realizes that his room is a mess and that he doesn't want April to see it that way, and so he straightens it up. The author attends to details like this in such a way that they contribute to instead of detracting from the overall focus on the first-time experience between the two young lovers. The story does contain some awkward grammatical structures; but this author always revises, and I have a feeling they'll be gone in future postings of this story. For example, April "...wanted this waiting to end -- if even in pain." Those last four words are awkward; and several instances like this really do disrupt the reader's train of thought. Fewer readers will be distracted (as I was) when Brian's cock peeked discretely at April, but the distinction between discreet and discrete is worth preserving. The story is so good that I (like most other readers) was willing to ignore these minor flaws, but why not write a perfect story? Here's a further note with regard to style. Brian "could tell that she was nervous and that her acceptance was more mental than physical." Is that REALLY what the author meant to say? It seems to me that April's hesitation is largely mental, which is the opposite of what the sentence says. I KNOW what the author means (I think), but when I look closely, the story sometimes doesn't help me as much as it should. My students have learned that it's often a good sign when I give them a paper back with red ink all over it. When they look closely, they discover that the comments are not really about mistakes - they are suggestions for making the paper perfect. The students often make the corrections and submit the paper and win a state competition or something like that. Applied to this story, this means that although this story won't get straight 10's right now, by the time I make my selections for the Top Stories of 1997, this is likely to be in the Top 10. The only problem with the story is that in this middle part the author has focused so heavily on getting the emotions and details right that he has let the language stand just slightly in the way of expressing this excellent story as accurately and convincingly as possible. If you've read none of the April stories, I suggest that you start by reading the entire current (or the eventually revised) version of Pendragon's "April's First" - all three parts. Then mentally obliterate Pendragon's Part 2 from your mind and read Plainman's version. Remember: details will diverge, because Plainman did not see Pendragon's Part 2 before he wrote his version, and the authors take completely different perspectives. "Birthday Present" by OddManOut Anywhere (oddman0ut@hotmail.com). Jeff is a bit upset, because his girlfriend Monica has gone on an anthropological field trip instead of being with him on his birthday. To reduce his own misery, Jeff has decided to spend the evening of his birthday on an anthropological field trip of sorts - that is, he goes to a frat party, where a voluptuous blonde who is a student of animal husbandry or something hands him a note that says: "Happy Birthday! I'm very sorry I wasn't able to be with you today. However, I am giving you a present so that you won't miss me too much this week. Your present is named Judy, and she is a good friend of mine from the swim team. Judy has been instructed to sexually satisfy you in any way you wish, at any time between today and next Friday. Upon your command, she will fuck you, give you blowjobs, and allow you to tie her up or do anything else to her that crosses your mind. The only limitations on what you can do are: 1. No permanent damage, of course. 2. No unprotected sex. 3. No bringing in other people. This gift is for you alone. I wouldn't want to fuck other guys for your birthday, so I don't see why my proxy should, either. "Oh, shit!" says Jeff; "I can't do this. It would be wrong!" No; actually Jeff ignores the moral ambiguity of the situation and decides not to look a gift whore in the mouth. Oh - and he decides to forgive Monica! My immediate reaction was: What if this is a hoax? I mean, how does Jeff really know that Monica is behind the alleged gift? What if Swimmer (the name given to the slave/present) is just an itinerant sex maniac who wants to give him a week of unmitigated bliss? In addition, I'm not a lawyer or a prostitute or anything like that, but isn't there a possibility of a bad precedent here? Couldn't a spouse caught in the act simply claim, "Hey! She told me she was a present from you!?" Being a Master can be tough. For example, what does a Master do when the slave wants to do the dishes but the master wants a blowjob? Such conflicts are common and could result in violations of health codes in parts of Australia. Jeff's predicament is further complicated by the fact that Swimmer is an excellent maid and cook: June Cleaver crossed with Pauline Reage. I mean, this lady actually accepts rear entries while she cooks pancakes in the nude - generating as a by-product a small but delicious supply of syrup for the pancakes! In addition, while having a sex slave merely distracts a guy from doing research, it makes listening to a Statistics lecture damn near impossible! There could be a TV series in this: "Touched by a Swimmer." The show could be completely devoid of both plot and acting ability, except for attractive but insipid protagonists who mysteriously can do almost anything while they jiggle their tits and toss their hair from side to side and spectators ogle their cute little asses. The show could convey educational tidbits like those in the story: edible underwear may be a novelty to see, but it is uncomfortable to wear, and it is awful to the taste. Thumbs down! Of course, the really "good parts" could not be shown on prime time television; these supplementary materials would have to be accessed via website or perhaps 900 chat lines. This idea is so crazy, it just might work! Sometimes I "disenjoy" stories that include sexual bondage. I get my back up and assume that pain and degradation are bad. But if the context is right - for example, if after the finale of the gangbang the target's entire body is coated in a mixture of sweat, cum, chocolate, and whipped cream, showing dark marks where the participants had poured the hot caramel, her blond hair matted to her skin and to itself by strings of semen, bruised around the thighs, butt, and breasts, where six men have pawed her continuously throughout the evening, and a huge smile on her face - well, then maybe bondage not so bad after all. This was a creative, well written story. I hope to see many more by this author. "The Camp Nurse" by NightShade (dguthner@garden.net). Chris Mattson has become the camp nurse at Camp Rah-Rah-Rah. This place is an all-girl cheerleading camp, and the head administrator has stereotypically assumed that all nurses - at least all nurses named Chris - would be female. Actually, Chris is just over six feet tall, 180 lbs., and if he grew a mustache, he would look like Tom Selleck, only better (because his cock is 4.5 inches longer than Tom's, I suppose) The other staff members are all ex-cheerleaders for either a major University or a pro sport team, and there isn't an ounce of excess weight on any of them. Imagine that. So Chris the Nurse is confined to a luxury resort with a huge number of horny teenagers who haven't seen their boyfriends for a month or so and a smaller number of female staffers who are likewise in heat. As I understand it, he winds up servicing about 30 people on an average night. They just come to him in the dark, give him head or engage in some other kind of foreplay, and then ride his ten-incher until he cums. Thirty times a night. They even line up outside his door, waiting their turns. Imagine that. In the midst of all these orgasms (and many more that I have not told you about), a dilemma arises. Chris has been getting especially great sex from one woman, but since she fucks him in the dark, he doesn't know who she is. He asks her to reveal her identity. When she asks why he needs to know so badly, he replies thusly: ""Because if you, the most incredible body I have ever been with, are not who I want you to be, I would hurt you, and I don't want that. Part of my feelings for you have to do with the things we do here, understand? So I need you to tell me who you are. And it's not fair. You know who I am. That way, if you're not my dream girl, at least I can pretend you are and not hurt you." I guess that makes sense. However, the mystery woman declines thusly: "There are 150 girls and women in this camp. All of them are horny; some of them are even fucking the trees. If one woman was to claim as her own the only prick for a hundred miles around, there would be a riot. A big riot. Very messy. It would be better if, during the time at camp, there weren't any sticky feelings around screwing up a good program. Can you live with that?" Wow! Hedonistic perverts certainly can be ethical when they want to be! Chris Mattson is almost godlike in his heroic willingness to service the needs of the poor wretches with whom he has been stranded. Sexual intimacy with him almost invariably leads not only to almost continuous orgasms but also to enhancement of the personality and possibly a reversal in lifestyle from a state of misery to one of self-confident productivity. What a guy! He'd probably do this work even if he didn't enjoy it. Alt.sex.stories is an excellent forum for exchange of ideas. We'll ignore my personal belief that maybe the best plan for a 14-year-old virgin with an intact hymen would be simply to grow into a 15-year-old virgin with an intact hymen. {An idea like that is rarely exchanged in this forum anyway. And even if it's a good IDEA, it's not a good FANTASY.} But most stories on this newsgroup advocate a gradual start; for example, they suggest that a girl with a beginner's cunt should start with a 15-year-old boy with an ordinary sized penis. In this story, on the other hand, Our Hero plunges right in - literally. But the girls like it and say, "Thank you, Mr. Mattson." See what I mean? There's room for debate here: should a girl that's just had her cherry popped by the head nurse with a 10-inch cock really call him "Mr. Mattson?" He's just an average guy doing the best he can. During the process of deflowering 18 virgins on three successive nights, Chris is told by one girl to stop just before her cherry pops. Why? Well, because her father gives her routine physical checkups, and the old man will be upset the next time he fondles her pussy if he discovers a broken hymen. Chris and the Skipper (the camp administrator) are perplexed that such exploitive behavior exists. Chris tells Muffy that he understands, and then he gently fucks her in the ass. You know - you just don't find guys like this in the real world! Keep in mind that (as the disclaimer says) this is a work of fiction by a twisted mind. Also keep in mind that there is no place in the world where most of this is either legal or possible. Finally, keep in mind that this is a very hot and creative story. "Excluded Middle" by Plainman (phone orgy & first time). Princess needs a hot cock, and lacking that she wants to have phone sex with her brother and her sister-in-law. In that context they decide to supply the missing part to Uther Pendragon's "April's First," which I reviewed in CR 170. It's an interesting set-up. If readers have read "April's First" {if they haven't, they should find the story and read it}, they will know Brian and April; and if they've read other Pendragon stories, they'll know something about that author's overall style and the value system he tends to infuse into his stories. In addition, if readers have read other Plainman stories, they'll know about Princess, Dave, Judy and the others who are mentioned in the narrative. What the author (Plainman) does in the present story is mix information from all these sources together in order to blend together at least two (and sometimes more) very sexy stories. I'll give this story two thumbs up! "'F' is for Face" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com). The man is musing about the possible unattractiveness of his face, and his wife playfully lets him make a deposit all over her own face. Dulcinea often writes playful, romantic stories, and this is one of her best. "Feet Are Neat" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com). Every job has its perks, and for the shoe salesman the main perk is the fact that occasionally a sexy woman comes into the store and flirts with or exposes herself to the salesman. I've never thought about it before, but I guess the salesman could fondle some pretty attractive legs from time to time and probably catch a glance of some sexy panties - if the customer happens to be wearing any. In this story, however, Mike Hunt is kind of naive; the high-schooler enjoys the spectacle, but he doesn't realize that the customer (a sexy older woman) is coming on to him. He gets wise about the time she brings him to climax with her foot against his crotch. This is a very good story about exhibitionism and voyeurism in the ole shoe store. I just saw a notice in this author's repost of "The O'Stikkit Inn." Mike Hunt is going to be on vacation and unavailable for a couple of weeks. I'm afraid to say that sentence out loud: my husband might go into a state of depression. Anyway, the author and his lewd and lascivious but lithe and lovely little lady June will be driving through the American Southeast. If you're in that area, you might get lucky and spot them - actually, you might spot them and get lucky. You can easily recognize them from the descriptions of Mike Hunt provided in these stories. One good way to figure out where they're likely to be is to anticipate the title of the next story. For example, if you were driving past a place called the "O'Stikkit Inn," that would be a major clue, because "O'Stikkit Inn by Mike Hunt" is a pun that conveys a sexual innuendo, and this author can't survive without that sort of thing. You might think that since that title is already taken the couple will now avoid inns of that name, but that's not true: " O'Stikkit Inn by Mike Hunt 2" would be another excellent pun. Personally, if I were driving past the residence of Seymour Heine, I'd knock on the door and ask for Mike Hunt. If the person answering the door acts confused, just shout the password : "O'Stikkit Inn." If the person is nasty, you may consider mooning him while you utter these words; and if you are a female, it would be appropriate to add the author's name. Then you'll get the reception you deserve. "For Her" by Unknown Author (THC Archives). This was reposted as "Looker 1" by the THC Archives. It's not a full story - just a brief interlude about two people in love, fucking each other's brains out. It's extremely hot and well written - kind of like Dulcinea in heat. If anyone knows anything about the identity of this author, I would certainly like to hear from you. There's also a "Looker 2 (Night Breezes )" and "Looker 3 (Role Reversal)," which I plan to review soon. "Garden of Contemplation" by Delta (delta@bc.sympatico.ca). The narrator has raped a young woman. Instead of keeping the event secret or going to the Law, she turns him over to the Society. He is given a short trial and is sentenced to 90 minutes of mandatory Contemplation. That's all - except that if he fails to meet certain conditions or if he makes certain requests additional consequences will follow. Of course, since Contemplation takes place in an open, public area and in a kneeling position, some support is necessary; and all that is available is a set of electronically charged ball bearings that support the buttocks through the anal aperture. You can well imagine.... There have been many stories on a.s.s. that have attempted to give intense portrayals of rape. Some of those stories have been vivid and realistic. I have counseled people who have been raped, and I do NOT believe that rape is fun. However, I understand that it can be pleasurable (and perhaps even harmless) for a man to fantasize about raping a woman or for a woman to fantasize about the "pleasures" that could occur during the act of rape. The present story takes a different approach. The portrayal of the initial rape is realistic, but not vivid or erotic. The retribution is both realistic and vivid, but not erotic - at least I HOPE you don't get turned on by this sort of activity. It's difficult to tell you more without ruining the story for you. I strongly recommend this story - but not when you are looking for a turn-on. Use it as part of your Contemplation time. "I Learn to Think, or, Fun with Dick and Brain" by Estragon (rgt@well.com). I nearly died laughing while I read this story. I have never been an adolescent boy, but this HAS to be how they think when they encounter the first intelligent and attractive female who has authority over them. The story is written in the format of a journal for a philosophy class - a class that discusses how people think. Sounds boring; but it's not. The author comes up with some bizarre insights that are so crazy that they simply MUST be true. As I read the story I could see the philosophy course syllabus unfolding in front of me. For example, the most likely reason a student would compare his thinking about the TA to lumpy shadows on the wall of a cave would be because he had just encountered that topic {Platonic images, not TA's} in the course syllabus. One interesting thought that is NOT explored in the story is the fact that since the journal is written FOR Ms Altman, then she'll obviously have to read what the writer has written; and it's fun to speculate about what her reaction will be. Incidentally, my favorite philosophical cartoon may be apropos here. It shows a philosophy professor writing on the chalk board, "I think, therefore I am." The student in the back row leans over and whispers to the scholar next to him, "Oh, no! We don't even exist!" Think about that one, Ms Altman! Then there's the graffiti from the library restroom: "Coito, ergo suk." The general concept is probably true, but it's bad Latin. "June's First" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com). June is the name of Mike Hunt's wife. Mike Hunt is an anatomical pun, but in this story we'll focus on him as the narrator, who tells the story through the eyes of his wife, who wear's pajamas, which is something I haven't done in over ten years except when I'm staying at my in-laws' house - and sometimes on sleepovers with teenagers. Anyway, Mike Hunt is telling this story about June's first time having sex (hence, the eponymous title). It was with a person named Riley O'Reilly, and it wasn't until halfway through the story I discovered that Riley is a girl. Imagine my consternation. On the other hand, Mike Hunt, who was writing the story, didn't find this out until that same moment, so imagine Mike Hunt's dismay! And confusion! And June was giving Mike Hunt a blowjob under the table while she was dictating the story to him. Mike Hunt was getting a little bit testy. There's a pun in that previous sentence, but I'm not sure the author knew or cared. To summarize: June (in the story within the story) is grabbing Riley's tit. Riley (also in the story within the story) is fingering June's cunt. June (in the story) is blowing Mike Hunt under the table, while Mike Hunt is writing this story. My cunt is getting a pleasant feeling (while I am reading this story), but I am laughing My Ass off. My Husband is looking at me as he walks through the room. He's used to this. He'll get his later. "Gmmft. Plivvm. Gravnntfz." Somebody is about to come. I'm not sure who. It could be any one of three or four people - maybe all of us. You'll have to read the story yourself. It's delightful - one of the most enjoyable tidbits to come from Mike Hunt in quite a while. P.S. The story also includes Mike Hunt's FAQ. "Maria in Maine" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com). When he and his wife started on a nice trip, the only thing he did NOT want to do was drive 7 hours out of his way to let his wife visit her old college roommate Maria in upstate Maine. Why's that? Well, in some old pictures he had seen Maria was about 40 pounds overweight, had bad hair, and didn't shave her underarms. Still, June had roomed with Maria for two years at Penn State, and they got along super. And besides, June did give great head under the table (among other places - see earlier reviews) and so a side trip to Maine was in order. Well, time has been good to Maria. As the evening wanes, however, Maria feels bad. She and June have been reminiscing and telling sorority stories and Mike Hunt has been totally bored. What can they do to include him? What, indeed! Surprise! They talk about everything from politics to religion to movies to Mike's own college days. Much later June mentions how they always used to talk about how they slept with the same guys. Just not at the same time. Until now. The threeway develops really nicely. They don't just jump into bed together - well, they do, but.... You had better read the story yourself. It's a good one! "Mind Snatchers" by Simon bar Sinister (simon@mcstories.com). Using mind control strategies, two oversexed but underdeveloped rogue aliens (Mandrarians, to be precise) take Sarah captive, much to the chagrin of her boyfriend, Roy. Fortunately, Roy himself is rescued by Dima, a beautiful woman with a Doctor Who British accent who has dedicated her life to freeing the known universe from Mandrarian control. Roy joins Dima in her crusade, but while rescuing the women at an aerobics class from the aliens, he accidentally turns one of the women (Laura) into his sex slave by giving her the best orgasm of her life with a single touch of his hand. From this point, Laura's only goal in life is to be blindly obedient and to satisfy the needs of her Master. Bummer! This may all sound a little far-fetched, but I saw what I assume was a documentary recently on late night cable television. It was about a sexy woman, whose name happened to be Jeanie, who lived in a bottle and responded to the whims of a person whom she perceived to be her Master and who happened to be a 60's-era astronaut living in Cocoa Beach, Florida. However, that Master was a little less creative than this one in his demands. Roy soon finds himself on the horns of a dilemma: he has to either give into his carnal desires and let the horny Laura have her way with him or he can save the universe. I wasn't sure why this dichotomy existed; I thought Roy should simply save the universe with his faithful sidekick Laura. Roy eventually comes to the same conclusion, as he and Laura team up with Dima against the Mandrarians. Here's the line that lets us know for sure that this is science fiction: ""Paddi, I know that I'm just an engineer while you're a teacher. You play a much more important role in society and you make a whole lot more money than I do." This is a good story: fanciful but hot sex and good humor. "The O'Stikkit Inn" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com). I'll bet you wouldn't notice this on your own; so I'll tell you. If you read the title " O'Stikkit Inn" by Mike Hunt out loud, it could be mistaken for an imperative sentence giving directions during foreplay. Imagine that. This is a VERY hot story. As an example of sex in the swimming pool, it rivals "Slippery When Wet" by SueNH. As I said in my review of Sue's story, I can't do it justice by trying to summarize it - It's about a man and a woman who meet a guy in the bar and then get into the hotel's swimming pool after closing time. Read the story for the rest. As I said, it's really hot stuff. "On The Beach" by Ellen Hayes (nobody@REPLAY.COM). Andrea is a teenager who has become stressed out because she has discovered that she feels a deep and mutual physical attraction for her close friend Darlene. She doesn't want to be a lesbian! Can't they just love each other and not be lesbians. Well, yes, I certainly think so; but I've had this argument too many times to repeat it again. This is another excellent story. As the author adds in a postscript, "You can separate sex from teenage angst, but you can't separate angst from teenage sex." "She's a Tease" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com). The neighbor has bought a new dress for a dinner party, and she wants to try it on for Mike Hunt to see if it is inappropriately sexy. Sure - Mike Hunt is always willing to help a lady in dis-dress. "Wow!" Mike Hunt often resorts to palindromes when aroused. "Wow!" To be sure that she won't come across as too flirtatious with the boss, she has Mike Hunt check from several angles. In my mind I suggested that maybe she should try it without underpants. Not a bad idea - for starters. Mike Hunt also helps her with her conversational skills, like the proper times to say, "Would you like something to nibble on?" - which could be taken the wrong way if the potential recipient of the d'oeuvres were staring down a braless cleavage where the tits were becoming a little bit hardened because of the flirtatious attitude displayed by the owner of the cleavage. Ahem. Hello? Can I have your attention please? It would probably be better to simply say something like, "Grab 'em while they're hot!" In my college speech class we learned about a technique called preterition. This means that the speaker tells her listeners something by telling them that she's not going to tell them what she wants to tell them. A simple example is, "... and I won't even mention the fact that my pussy is soaking wet right now!" This story exemplifies that technique, but we'll call it flirterition - the woman flirts by practicing not flirting. "Grab 'em while they're hot!" "The Skier" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com). It's probably a coincidence, but have you noticed that if you say this author's name quickly ten times, it sounds like you're discussing a part of the female anatomy? This author claims to have a colleague named Mike Lit. Imagine that! This story has an unusual plot. A bunch of college guys go to a ski lodge with hopes of getting drunk and maybe getting laid. Well. on the first day there Mike Hunt gets laid - UP, that is: two broken arms, one multiple, one a mild fracture; a cracked collarbone, plus a fractured leg and multiple cuts and contusions, abrasions, and possible internal injuries. Bummer! But all is not lost. There is a nurse named Carole Anne; and Mike Hunt needs a bath. As the washcloth scurries about, up and down, in and out, Mike Hunt becomes horny. Actually, Mike Hunt becomes aroused. But then, contrary to everything written in this newsgroup, the nurse whacks his dig sharply. She says this is something they learned in nursing school. He tells her to go to hell. This is an inauspicious beginning. Mike Hunt is going to be lonely. I don't want to go into all the details, but Nurse Carole Anne makes up for her unkind incursion. Being in traction may not be all fun and games, but there are some advantages! The author concludes with an assertion that " MIKE HUNT has more stories than you can, uh, shake a stick at." I hope to see more of them. This was very hot stuff! "Straight Sex" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com). Have you ever been faced with the problem of deciding who does what to whom or who goes first during a sexual escapade? This story offers a creative strategy for making those decisions. It's called "Cocks and Cunts," and it can help decide who gets on top, or who eats whom first, or things like that. One person calls, "One - two - three, FUCK!" Both throw their hands out in front of themselves. A hand with the middle finger extended in the universally understood sign of "fuck you" stands for a cock. A middle finger and thumb joined in a circle. is a cunt. If you get one of each, that's a perfect fuck, and the caller wins. If you get two of a kind, the non-caller wins. As in American football, the winner gets to decide such things as who will receive in the first half. In other words, this serves the same purpose as a coin toss, but sometimes naked people don't have coins to toss. What's interesting about this story is that its title, "Straight Sex," really does describe the story accurately, but the story includes gang sex, anal sex, teen sex, and multiple overlays of simultaneous sexual acts. Imagine that. The author uses the story within a story within a story approach. That is, the narrator is telling about his wife who is making love to him while she is also telling about the first time she had sex with a guy who showed her movies about people having sex. Actually, I think I omitted one more within-a-story in that previous sentence. Anyway, this technique is called nesting. Try it sometime; you'll like it! Back to the story - the guy who's watching the film with June has a cock that's about as big as the one on the boss who's reaming his secretary in the movie, and the narrator who is listening to his wife has one that's even better if not actually bigger, and he's gradually shifting from stimulating her clit with it to inserting it for a night deposit. This is really getting confusing: since I'm telling you this story, we're now into a fourth level of nesting. Under normal circumstances I would have had several orgasms by now. This would be even more complex if I told you what I was doing or planning to do and you undertook an activity of your own while someone was nuzzling between your legs while you tried to make sense of this review and/or of this story. Now imagine this: June is watching Justin while she's giving him head and thinking about Tim (probably fifteen years ago), while Tim is receiving head and watching June and the boss fucking the secretary on the television screen. Meanwhile (at the time the story is being written, theoretically about 48 hours before I started writing this review), Mike is spooned up against June's backside and has been doing interesting things to her and has just nudged his cock into her vagina, while he has been listening to this story. June, of course, has been telling this story, while receiving the amorous advances of her adventurous admirer. Meanwhile (at the time I am writing this review), I am reading about all these activities and trying to report them to you as objectively as possible while I'm imagining how my husband and I did something similar to Justin and June about 20 years ago and similar to Mike and June last Tuesday, a week ago Thursday, and on several other occasions; and I'm getting some good ideas for what might happen later this evening. Finally, YOU read this story, and you learn about Justin and June 15 years ago, the boss and the secretary on television, Mike and June at the time Mike wrote the story, and me and my husband 20 years ago, a week ago, ten days ago, and later this evening. I don't know how you can stand this without cumming in your pants or taking a break to jerk off! To make it even worse, theses are all stories, and so you don't know what's real and what's not real. But according to Plato, ideas are more real than what is real anyway, and so this is one of the most really real stories - or at least really real review of a story - you have ever experienced. Really! Everything else is like a shadow on the wall of a cave. If you don't understand this, please refer to "I Learn to Think" by Estragon, which was reviewed earlier in the previous issue of Celestial Reviews (CR 175). Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the effort. Anyway, her cunt was as wet as a car wash sponge on Sunday, I have no idea to whom that sentence refers. It could be any of about five people. Or all of them. Then Mike tells June HIS story. "A Summer Romance" by Jim Fix (jimfix@earthlink.net). This was actually posted as two separate stories: "A Summer Romance Part 1" and "Summer Romance Revisited." I shall review these as a single story, and I advise you to read both parts together. Paul (a bright student going into his sophomore year in high school) and his Mom have been living together since her messy divorce from his Dad two years ago. Paul and his mother have always showed mutual affection, but during a stay at some relatives' mountain cabin they realize that their attraction has a physical and sexual component. With his mature consent, Mom decides to treat Paul as a lover, and their life together becomes happier. They each contribute to the other's intellectual and personal growth, as well as to each other's sexual happiness. The second half of the story moves more rapidly than the first half. Life changes; Paul goes to college; Mom gets a new job; their love affair comes to an end; Mom remarries; and Paul falls in love. This is a very good story. I think society's general taboo against incest is reasonable; that is, it makes sense to have an initial reaction that incestuous relations should be avoided. In general, incestuous relationships are likely to be coercive and exploitive, even though the participants may be unaware that something bad is happening. Nevertheless, it also makes sense to consider the possibility that such relationships could be productive and growth-producing. This author has gone to great lengths to build a good story around a set of circumstances in which a mother/son sexual relationship is not only harmless but also beautiful. You can skip the rest of this review if moral reasoning doesn't interest you, but I am going to discuss morality for a few paragraphs. Religions generally condemn incest, and I (Celeste) am an active participant in the Catholic religion, whose leaders condemn incest. How do I reconcile these views? Why don't I either condemn incest or stop being a Catholic Christian? The answer lies in proportionalist moral reasoning, which says that when there is a conflict between moral outcomes or goals, decisions must be based on proportionate consequences. An action that might objectively be undesirable (immoral) is permitted only if it leads to benefits (called values) that outweigh its ill effects (called disvalues). The Catholic Church and other religions have used this kind of reasoning for centuries (for example, with regard to the "just war theory") but the Church leaders are not exactly progressive with regard to sexual morality. The main alternative to proportionalist reasoning in the Christian religions is natural law reasoning. Here's the difference. Assume that there is a soldier who has his army's secret plans in a pouch attached to his belt. When he is in danger of being caught, is it morally permissible for the soldier to ignite an explosive that will destroy the plans but also kill himself? Moral reasoning based on the natural law says yes - because the soldier would be destroying the plans directly and himself only indirectly. In other words, this is not really suicide. Proportionalist reasoning would also say yes - but because the value of saving the entire army outweighs the disvalue of the soldier killing himself. In other words, this is suicide, but it's justified. Changing the situation slightly, what if the soldier had memorized the plans instead of having them in a pouch? Can the soldier kill himself if he suspects that his captors will get the secrets from him? Natural law reasoning would say no - because he would be killing himself directly and destroying the secrets only indirectly. This would be suicide, and nothing can justify suicide. Proportionalist reasoning would still say yes - again because the value of saving the entire army outweighs the disvalue of the soldier killing himself. Again, this is suicide, but it's justified. My opinion is that the natural law conclusion is just plain goofy. This proportionalist reasoning is not all that complicated, and it makes perfect sense. Common sense tells me that it would be unfortunate for the soldier to be put in either situation, but I don't think he would be "sinning" in either case if he took his life to save his army. On the other hand, the soldier should consider other factors - such as how well he can withstand torture, the likelihood that the enemy will get the information from someone else, the actual value of the information, etc. All this information would enter into the soldier's moral reasoning to determine whether there is a proportional reason for taking his own life in either case. Applied to an issue like incest, proportionalism means that we should weigh the possible values to be gained from incest (such as the possibility of a mutually fulfilling relationship that is a natural extension of an existing spontaneous relationship and which would release two people's tensions while getting them ready for other relationships) against the disvalues associated with that action (such as restricting the child from more age-appropriate relationships, giving birth to children that are likely to have genetic defects, and societal retribution). In most cases in real life, the disvalues would far outweigh the values; but in this story the values outweigh the losses. This reasoning is different from the traditional, more legalistic approaches, which focuses on whether the action is natural or unnatural - prohibited by a rule or not prohibited; but this type of reasoning is neither excessively complex nor illogical. There is no reason to believe that Jesus would reject proportionalist reasoning. There IS reason to believe that in most cases in real life the disvalues will outweigh the values, and so society's general ban on incestuous activities makes sense - as long the taboo itself does not introduce more problems than it solves. In terms of moral reasoning, what this story has done has been to create a situation in which the values demonstrably outweigh the disvalues. My personal reasoning is also different from that of hedonism, which essentially says if it feels good and hurts nobody, go ahead and do it. Both hedonism and traditional religions offer valid insights into incestuous behavior; proportionalism offers another angle. So there! I hope this discussion makes as much sense to you as it does to me. I do NOT believe that it is necessary that every story describe purely moral behavior, but I do think it is good occasionally to discuss a story in its moral context. "The Temptation of Heaven's Ring" by Summer's Rose (SummersRose@aol.com). This story presents a good case for anal sex. It may not be for everybody, but this story gives a convincing presentation of anal sex as a truly exciting and romantic activity. I won't risk ruining it by trying to summarize it. My one concern is with the lack of lubrication described in this story. I'm afraid that someone will read this story and go ahead and try anal sex and find the experience to be painful. So here's my factual piece of sex education. The anus does not self-lubricate for sexual activity, as does the vagina. In addition, bathing removes any natural lubricants (oils) that are likely to be available on the penis and in the anal area. I can understand the urge for cleanliness when approaching anal sex, but if you wash the anus and the cock immediately before entry, it's going to hurt like hell; but going straight from the shower to anal sex is likely to hurt. The solution is to use copious amounts of KY lubricant or saliva (Vaseline is not a good idea). Although this story does not rule out lubrication, it doesn't stress the need for it. While I'm on the subject of anal sex, I'll add that it's also a bad idea to go from the ass to the vagina (or vice versa) without cleansing. This is because there are different sources of infection in each area, and a woman is almost certain to get a nasty infection from this combination of activities. In addition, although this newsgroup tends to assume that AIDS does not exist, it is important to note that AIDS is transmitted by blood-to-blood contact, and minor abrasions are more likely to occur during anal than during vaginal or oral intercourse; and hence it is essential to practice safe-sex in real life. I'm sure you already learned this information in the excellent sex education classes to which you were exposed in your school days. I just thought I'd repeat it here in case you were absent that day. "Vortrek" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). Bob and Jeanette Brennan are moving out of their apartment. It was "Bob and Jeanette" who had moved into this apartment; it is "the Brennans" are moving out. These two people are really in love. Sometimes it's nauseating. I sometimes feel the urge to exit one of these Bob and Jeanette stories and read a more wholesome, realistic rape and torture story. But then I keep reading, and I am invariably glad I did. I have friends who tease me about my own marriage. They are certain that I am either simple-minded or lying: nobody can be this happy all the time sleeping with the same man. {Actually, some of them are certain that nobody could be this happy sleeping with ANY VARIETY of men.} It would get boring, they say; and sometimes it does. Some of my friends know what hell is really like, because they have been married. What's nice about the Bob and Jeanette stories is that they are realistically and blissfully happy. They have their ordinary lives where they struggle together with mundane problems, but their genuine love for each other is a source of strength, stability, and happiness. At times it gets to where their sex life would HAVE to become boring; but by God, somehow it gets even better. I had a friend who was in the perfect marriage. She got divorced last year. I was disillusioned. This author has a responsibility to keep Bob and Jeanette together. They're the main source of stability in the lives of millions of readers throughout the uncensored world. Please, please - don't let them go the way of Bo and Billie or the other people on the soaps. These people have become my friends. I was actually excited to hear that Jeanette has learned French! Ooops... I don't want to spoil the surprise for you. They keep t'aiming and t'adoring as they drive across the country to their new home in Boston, where Bob will continue his education and Jeanette will get a job to continue to make that education possible. The story is a really outstanding blend of current events and past memories; and the memories themselves are a wonderful blend of things I myself know (from previous stories) and new information from the Early Life and Courtship of Bob and Jeanette; and those memories are a delightful blend of ideas and events that overlap with my own life and things completely new to me. And the blends are very sexy. Come to think of it, in some ways Bob is even better than my husband. For example, as far as I can see, Bob never farts during really intimate moments. I think Bob may also be better with his hands, although my husband still seems to have the edge with regard to his tongue. I am reminded of my daughter, who makes a similar comment about her birthday each and every year - this is the best Bob and Jeanette story ever! "Watching You Watching Me" by Gregarious (gregarious@poboxes.com). The woman moves from Texas to Boston to be with her lover, and she finds the winter to be a real burden. Then one day he comes home with tickets to Costa Rica. Anything would be better than two more weeks of gray snow, but the delights of Central America are amplified by the presence of another couple. First the woman shows off her amorous abilities on the plane in the presence of the other couple. Then she discovers that they are in the same resort, and she spies on them while they make love. All this leads to hot sex with her own lover. It's very sexy stuff! {End} -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ .../assm/faq.html> /