Message-ID: <6059eli$9712041208@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: Celeste801@aol.com Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 239 - Dec 3 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <971203155001_1840772547@mrin47> X-Is-Review: yes Celestial Reviews 239 - December 3, 1997 Note: One element of story writing that you don't notice is the proofreading that goes into the final product. Many people proofread their own work or have friends help them. In addition, I coordinate a free (honestly - free) proofreading service. The proofreaders often help iron out grammar and style problems that may be invisible to the authors, and in addition they frequently offer suggestions about the storyline. Although some authors have had trouble communicating with their proofreaders, in most cases both the proofreaders and the authors enjoy this cooperative effort. It is NOT an admission of inferiority to accept proofreading help. I personally use this service, and I am certain that some of the finest authors on this newsgroup do so as well. I would like to thank the people who have volunteered to proofread these stories. In addition, I want to remind all of you of the existence of this service. If you either (a) need help with your writing or (b) want to help someone else, let me know. Second note: I have not recently posted the Celestial List of Credulous Assumptions. As I was reviewing one of the stories this week, I noticed assumptions 3, 6, 8, 23, and 29 all within the same story. So I thought I had better repeat this list: 1. It is usually possible for a woman to estimate the size of a man's fully engorged cock by gazing at his crotch when he is unaroused and fully dressed and over ten yards/meters away. 2. Without the use of scientific instruments men can easily estimate the size of women's breasts from across the room, even if the woman is fully dressed. {Actually, this is no big deal, since nearly all attractive women have 38DD bust sizes anyway.} 3. The normal sequence of sexual experiences is first petting, then oral sex, then anal sex, then vaginal sex - usually all on the same date. 4. The first boy to touch a girl's breasts will come in each of her three orifices within the next hour. 5. Most women would intensely enjoy sexual contact with another woman, but most men would not enjoy sexual contact with another man, even if cultural biases were eliminated. 6. Children who have sex with their parents normally enjoy this activity and grow up to be emotionally mature honor roll students who will contribute to scientific research and to world peace. 7. Ditto for sex with older siblings, kindly neighbors, and random strangers. 8. When sons, daughters, little brothers, or little sisters ask questions about sex, the best way to answer their questions is to show them, using their bodies as part of the demonstration. 9. When a spouse or lover catches his/her partner having sex with someone else, the typical response is to join in. 10. Women typically have multiple orgasms during every fulfilling sexual encounter. 11. Middle-aged men can typically have sex with copious ejaculations several times a day for several days in a row. 10 & 11a. Women and men that can do so are happier and better sex partners than those who have fewer orgasms. 12. Kids can go blind if they masturbate too often. {Ooops. That one belongs on a different newsgroup!} 13. Kids who do not masturbate at least daily are severely disturbed. 14. It is important to pop a person's cherry before she gets out of high school {or gets into high school, has her first date, gets married, buys her first car, etc.} 15. Women typically enjoy getting raped, once they get over their inhibitions. 16. Men who force women to have sex with them are sexy. 17. People can be turned into sex slaves by college kids who read a chapter in a psych book. {Either that are some of these stories are written by Psych profs who are really desperate to motivate their students to read a chapter in their text book.} 18. If you ever get turned into a sex slave, it will be the best thing that ever happened to you. 19. The typical male ejaculation shoots at least 12 inches through the air {unless the penis is inserted into a receptacle which will terminate this expulsion. In this case the ejaculate lands with the impact of a speeding bullet.} 20. Most women ejaculate at least a pint of luscious fluid during a really enjoyable sexual experience. 21. Most people get turned on when their partner treats them with extreme cruelty for the partner's own personal gratification. 22. Most black men have "monster cocks." These 12- to 14-inch penises will thrill any pussy (or other aperture) lucky enough to receive one. Black women, however, do not have "monster cunts," nor do they appear to be all that interested in the genitalia of their black brethren. Hence the reciprocal fondness between black men and white women, especially those known as sluts. 23. The family that fucks together stays together. 24. It's more fun to have sexual intercourse when there's a genuine risk of pregnancy. Offspring resulting from unprotected intercourse of minors tend to be sexy honor students by the time they reach middle school. 25. Nuns {and English teachers, librarians, etc.} are really sexual dynamos. 26. Ain't nothing wrong with most frigid women that a riding crop won't cure. 27. Guys who go without underpants and have sex several times a day do not develop a nasty rash. 28. Male doctors get their rocks off during physical examinations of female patients. Female doctors have multiple orgasms whenever they examine a beautiful person of either sex. 29. A girl will get her first orgasm from her first intercourse, usually within minutes after having her hymen torn. 30. Most young girls are looking for experienced men to train them in sexual practices. They want to start but they don't know anything about it. When they find these instructors, they will say things like, "Yes, eat my pussy now!" {Which is a strange request from somebody that doesn't know anything about sexual practices.} 31. Most women who find that their husbands want to turn them out to their friends respond, "Sounds like fun." 32. Most boys who are forced to act the part of a girl find that they love the role. Unless this happens for the first time in a penal institution other than school. 33. Parents routinely leave their bedroom doors ajar when they intend to have sex, and kids do so when they intend to masturbate, which they do noisily above the bed sheets. 34. Nobody ever farts while making love. Especially not during anal intercourse. And even if they do, its never one of those rancid ones that linger on and on. And even if it is, the partner thinks its sexy. 35. No one ever gets a cramp while making love. For that matter, no one ever sneezes or has a nose so filled with snot that it's impossible to breathe, much less give a blowjob. 36. The woman's vagina never makes that 'farting' noise due to trapped air in there. If she does, this causes immediate orgasm in both partners. 37. Nobody ever forgets to wipe his/her ass prior to having it licked, which is unfortunate, because most people absolutely love the taste of human feces. 38. The woman never says "Ouch! I wasn't ready! I'm too dry!" If she thinks she wants to say these things, she instead says, "Fuck me harder!" 39. Men don't turn over and go to sleep immediately after sex. 40. Women don't fall asleep at the beginning of sex, when they feel so comfortable and relaxed, and they can just let themselves go.... If they do fall asleep, their partner regards this as a compliment. Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste "Tasty Young Coeds" by Johnny D (spam snuff) 10, 8, 8 "Annie and Me" by DreamIQ (incest) 10, 10, 5 "A Quickie at the Wedding" by dousan (quickie) 9, 7, 7 "Summer of Sin" by Andrew Roller (elaborate orgy) 0.5, 10, 9 Guest Reviews: "Moving" by Bebrack (adolescent sex & pedophilia) 9, 7, 7 "Wedding Day Cheat" by Unknown Author (quickie)10, 8, 9 "Dinner with Jennifer" by Captain Atom (sex with Jennifer) 9, 5, 5 "Roadside Assistance" by Kathy B. (rape & sex slavery) 10, 9, 1 Reposted Reviews: * "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (slut training) 10, 10, 10 * "The Hedonists" by Jonboy (orgies) 9, 10, 10 * "Marie" by Friar Dave (emerging adolescence) 10, 10, 10 * = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been reposted) "Tasty Young Coeds" by Johnny D (JohnnyD@cryogen.com). This late entry in Malinov's spam contest was inspired by the phrases CUM SHOOTING UP HER NOSE and DRIED CUM ON HER CHIN, which it doesn't use. Instead it builds upon the eponymous image of TASTY YOUNG COEDS. The story succeeds as an exercise in creativity to the extent that it uses the title phrase in an unexpected manner. However, it's noteworthy much more for being odd than for being erotic or sexy. Ratings for "Tasty Young Coeds" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 "Annie and Me" by DreamIQ (DreamIQ@wizard.com). This is one of those "true" about father-daughter incest. The narrator and his daughter have never actuall y considered their activity to be anything like abuse, even though the author knows that evil things happen when incest is forced on a child. {As the judge said to the court psychiatrist, "Well, if they don't consider it to be harmful, then it must be wholesome!"} He wrote this story to inform, entertain and... enlighten us. It all started when Annie was 11 and was experiencing "growing pains." Dad massaged her breasts; this became a nightly ritual; soon Dad was getting a hard-on; etc. But soon this placid existence is torn assunder - er asunder, but that loses the pun - when Dad catches Mom in bed with her friend Lois. It's curtains for the marriage; and since lesbian mothers are often recalcitrant in their motherly duties {because they lack the prerequisite demo penis, I suppose}, Dad has to take on more and more responsibility for initiating Annie into the world of adult sexuality for 12-year-olds. So here's the problem in a nutshell. Annie's friend Amber has a brother who lets her jerk him off. But Annie has no older brother - only a horny father. She can learn all she wants about girl/girl sex by playing with Amber, but she needs info about penises and such. What's a father to do? Send her to a convent? Turn her over to Jason? The answer should be obvious, especially in a town that apparently lacks counselors and benevolent bartenders who might offer additional suggestions. If post-prandial handjobs become habitual, can blowjobs be far behind? "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh,!" they groan. Repeatedly. As per schedule, the first paternal penile penetration comes in her anus rather than her pussy. {As you know, I hate to apostrophize, but do you men out there REALLY think little girls would enjoy having their first sexual penetration occur when an adult cock is rammed up her unlubricated ass? Get real!} The paradox of a naked woman-child with her first wanton, erotic look on her face certainly DOES have intuitive appeal. But then so does hitting my assistant principal in the head with a baseball bat. You can go to prison for either offense. Annie's aureolae were crankily - alas, that's a different lesson. For now, I'll just say the word is areola. This is a well-written, interesting fantasy. However, you may have detected a faint note of sarcasm in my review - as if I see something wrong with what Dad and Annie are doing. What's wrong? Well, nothing -IF everything could turn out this way. But I just have this nagging suspicion that in real life little girls who get boinked by their daddies don't often grow up to be intellectually sophisticated, emotionally exuberant, sexual dynamos. {For further comments along with a similar story that I liked a lot better, see my review of Friar Dave's "Marie," which is reposted later in this issue.} If this is a "true" story, then I am poet laureate of England. "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Unnnnnggghhhh!" Now THERE'S a real turn-on. Ratings for "Annie and Me" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5 "A Quickie at the Wedding" by dousan (dousan@mailer.canadianwebmaster.com). The narrator goes to a small wedding at a private home, meets a drunken slut nymphomaniac {i.e., a dipsomaniac nymphomaniac}, and fucks her quickly but industriously in the bathroom. Imagine that. Ratings for "A Quickie at the Wedding" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 7 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7 "Summer of Sin" by Andrew Roller (roller39@idt.net). Like many stories in the Naughty Naked Dreamgirls series, this one is labeled Chapter 1. I have never seen a Chapter 2 to any of the stories, but maybe that's because I have not looked hard enough. {If I were a male critic writing this review, that last sentence would have been a plaintively pejorative pun.} Anyway, I have not been too impressed with previous Dreamgirl escapades; but I thought I should give Andy another chance. This one is pretty good. There obviously is more to the story than I read, and I am basing my ratings on the assumption that the rest of the story is of the same caliber as Chapter 1. Chloe has been left to stay with her Aunt Rebecca in Paris, while her parents cavort about the continent. The first thing Aunt Rebecca does is take Chloe to one of those fine Parisian parties where the merrymakers are naked above the waste and everyone eats their meal out of someone else's panties - more literally than you might suspect. Around this time of the year I often read some Charles Dickens, who takes great delight in describing what I think are decadent Victorian Christmas customs. Although both authors would probably object to the comparison, this story reminded me of one of Dickens's stories - a sense of wonderment at the opulent festivities and amazement at what might come next. If you like to read about idle rich people indulging themselves, then you'll probably enjoy this story; but you may want to make sure you have more than the first chapter before you spend much time on it. Remember this to avoid a faux pas: "You do not eat spaghetti out of your own panties. Other people eat it out of your panties, and you eat it out of theirs." And then there's this spelling gem: "A little more rogue on her nipples, Didi." possibly means "Get another one of the studs from the bar to come in and suck my other tit, Didi." Ratings for "Summer of Sin" Athena (technical quality): 9.5 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Moving" by Bebrack (KE4SCX@aol.com). Guest review by Sven the Elder. As I read this story a couple of words popped into mind. Believable and Fantasy. These are a little of what all of us apply to stories that we write. We want to weave a little bit of fantasy into a believable tale. The two should be mutually inclusive, not exclusive. The story tells the fantasy of a new kid on the block. Fifteen years old, he has just moved next door to the only eligible female on the block. He is pissed because he had almost, but not quite got his previous girlfriend to the point of screwing; but then he had moved before that had occurred. Now he has his chance with this new kid called Judy. It turns out she is horny because she has been watching her mom and dad screw through peep holes or from her well prepared tree house. I have to say that at this point I began to feel that the story line was suspicious. These were a fifteen and a fourteen year old and they had the mannerisms and thoughts of twenty five or thirty year olds. Sorry but a fifteen-year-old boy who has screwed someone for the first time a couple of hours before does not think or say: "Anything more than a mouthful is wasted anyway, I always say," as he leans down to take one of her nipples between his lips. I have, however, met precocious little girls who were capable of thinking and acting like the young star of this tale. The story progresses through sex ed and him screwing first her mother and then his own. I guess it stops short of pedo, but for me the action is schoolboy fantasy with a touch of incest thrown in at the end. The sex is there and quite hot, but is unsatisfying. This is an unbelievable, somewhat unrealistic fantasy that leaves me perhaps not totally cold, but certainly cool. The writer has written the tale from the perspective of a teenager, but has fallen into the trap of using the mindset of an adult. Sorry, to use an old phrase - "Not my bag," but it may appeal to those who like the stories on youngsters growing up. Ratings for "Moving by Bebrack" Technical quality: 9 Plot & character: 7 Sven (appeal to reviewer): 7 "Wedding Day Cheat" by Unknown Author. Guest review by M1ke Hunt. Whaddya gonna do when you've been lusting after your best friend all through college and find out she's about to be married? Whaddya gonna do when she calls and asks you to visit and help with her wedding dress? Whaddya gonna do when all the other people in the store suddenly leave and tell you they won't be back for a half-hour? Your choices are: a) fuck her, b) fuck her, or c) fuck her. OK, so there aren't any big surprises here, and it's more of a super-short scene instead of a story. So what? It's a decent read: the set-up is good, if predictable, and the sex is good, if predictable. Predictable isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just, uh, predictable. Ratings for "Wedding Day Cheat" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 8 Mikeus (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Dinner with Jennifer" by Captain Atom (email unknown). Guest review by Dart. Jennifer is a new junior executive at the company where Steve works. In the two months she's been there, they've developed a nice friendship. Then, one day Jennifer invites him to a dinner party at her place. He's the first guest to arrive; he's the last guest to leave. If I said more, I'd give away the story. I will say that the second paragraph is devoted to an elaborate description of Jennifer. After that, I thought I knew what would happen, and I was correct. Because Captain Atom writes well, this story disappointed me. The first paragraph setup was short but adequate. From there, it could have developed in various directions: sultry, seductive, romantic, etcetera. Instead, Jennifer was such an unbelievable character that what it did give was predictable and routine. In summary, I'd say that the story was descriptive rather than emotive. Ratings for "Dinner with Jennifer" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 5 Dart (appeal to reviewer): 5 "Roadside Assistance" by Kathy B. (kathybxx@aol.com). Guest review by Kim- her 30th! Celeste always concludes her request for a review with the words "As usual, if you do not want to review this story, just say so". I was very close to doing just that with this story. However, if I refuse stories just because I object to their storylines, then my services as a reviewer reduce even more than they are already. So, having got that out of the way... A young, unnamed woman (though, as it's written first person by a woman, I guess we can say her name's Kathy) crashes her car in a snowstorm. She phones her husband for assistance on her mobile phone and then waits for rescue. Driven to keeping warm by drinking a bottle of whiskey she has with her, she sits and shivers. Finally some men arrive; and since she is too drunk to object, they take her to their car and drive off to an unknown destination. There Kathy learns of her misfortune. Five men have abducted her solely for the purpose of raping her and turning her into their sex slave. There follows a catalogue of painful bondage, belt whippings, and repeated rapes anal, oral, and vaginal. Throughout she is denied any sexual relief herself until the end, when one or her hands is released so that she may masturbate for the men's amusement. After that she is told that she is now their slave because of all the photographs they took of her ordeal. Good points: Well written, sadly believable. Bad points: deeply unpleasant and depressing. This story does raise many points of interest that may be debated on ASSD. Such as the nature of extreme fantasies, are they best left unwritten? Is it somehow more acceptable being written by a woman? What makes anyone want to read such a thing for pleasure? Is it the place of reviewers to even pose such questions? I have dark fantasies myself, so are Kathy's fantasies any more or less acceptable than mine? I have my own opinions on all the above and will happily expound should anyone ask, but this is not the time or place. Ratings for "Roadside Assistance" Athena (technical quality): 10 (Perfectly good writing) Venus (plot & character): 9 (Depressingly believable, save the "you're now our slave" bit) Kim (appeal to reviewer): 1 (I loathed it) * "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (zanna@whoever.com). The narrator is a gigolo, I suppose; he hangs onto his piece of life by latching onto older women, who like him for his good looks and the sex he is able to throw their way. As he says, " Sex is all in the mind anyway and I approached each woman as an intellectual puzzle subject to physical manipulation, like one of those multicolored cubes. But things begin to change one day when he tries to seduce a rich woman who drives a Mercedes. He finds himself trapped, enslaved; and he undergoes experiences that had never even occurred to him before. I usually don't like sex-slavery stories or those that involve piercing and diapers; but I did enjoy this story. It's hard to explain. I recommend you check it out for yourself. Ratings for "Mercedes" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "The Hedonists" by Jonboy (jonboy@thepoint.net). I get skeptical about these stories sometimes. So when I brought my husband a beer during a commercial of the baseball game tonight, I said to him, "Imagine that you are a plumber and have to wait for an hour until the lady of the house returns. Her nubile step-daughter is lying by the pool and asks you to rub suntan lotion on her, and her movements cause her tiny black bikini to practically disappear into her the crack of her tight little ass. As you apply the lotion, you can smell the odor of sex permeating the air around you. Would you find this to be at all erotic?" "What does nubile mean?" he replied, as I handed him his beer and a bottle of baby lotion, flipped off the TV with the remote control, lay down with my naked ass easing out beneath my tee-shirt, and said, "The kids will be home at 8:30." Anyway, the basic premise of the story seems to be sound: at least some men would find this to be an erotic situation. Actually, the kids did not get home till 9:00 and the premise was more erotic than I had expected - either that or it contrasted really well with a boring baseball game; and so I didn't get back to reading this story until much later. By then it had occurred to me that since the title was plural, ole Dave would be checking the plumbing of both mother and daughter and possibly a few others unknown to me at that moment. By the way, Dave is a stud himself; so this is not a guy's only fantasy. In addition, he's apparently a union plumber: "You just charge us for the whole day," says Mom. "It would be worth twice the price to find an unusual man like yourself." As I understand it, Dave had five resounding orgasms within about five hours during his initial visit, and he also found time to fix a leaky pipe while the step-mother shaved her pussy in front of him. Fortunately, the ladies had no Kryptonite in their house. I have no idea how often the two woman came that first afternoon, but they were both pretty happy. Meanwhile, I was at the end of chapter 4 out of 10, and my husband was dead to the world after moving the earth only two times in 94 minutes. Then in chapter 5 Dave gets a hard-on thinking about his upcoming date with Vicki that evening, and so he has oral sex with his roommate (a guy) before he showers and heads off for his date in chapter 6. When Dave returns to the mansion at 7:00 the Three Amigos fondle, exchange tongues, and become pre-orgasmic; but they do NOT engage in full genital contact. Another orgasm at this time might strain credulity. The kids go out for pizza and Mom goes upstairs for her dildo - either that or she goes to a bar and takes on an entire basketball team before going to spend the evening in a sex club. The transitions are not perfectly clear here; and reality and fantasy merge. Chapter 7 explains the activities of the sex club - The Hedonists Society; and these would make an interesting story in themselves. In fact, chapter 7 SHOULD be a separate story; stylistically it's a major distraction, and I have no idea why the author felt the need to shove it into this story. Suffice it to say that these hedonistic little fuckers probably have a franchise in a city near yours - unfortunately, it's fictional. Meanwhile, back in the real "plot," Dave and Vicki go to a nightclub that has a "sexiest couple contest." Having already exceeded the limits of human sexual capacity, of course, they refrain from participating. Right! And I have a bridge in Brooklyn and some oceanfront property in Arizona that I'd like to sell you. Actually, they win the contest. This may not seem improbable, since the couple has refrained from full sexual copulation for nearly nine hours by the time the contest starts, but I forgot to tell you that Dave had already cum three times immediately before the contest began. The dance contest scenario is especially well written. The author describes not only the antics of Dave and Vicki but also those of several other couples; and the various couples also interact with one another. And this hot sex is NOT a digression, but rather a contribution to the overall plot. An anthropologist at heart, Dave wins the contest with an ancient mating dance. It had a good beat and was easy to cum to. Dick Clark would give it a 99. To celebrate their victory, Vicki sucks Dave's cock to the verge of orgasm in the car on the way home; but he doesn't cum (again, we don't want to strain credulity). To wrap things up, Dave stays over with Vicki; and Mom wakes up and joins them for one final orgy. Assuming the story ends at, say, 4:00 a.m., Dave has had ten raging orgasms within 19 hours. Not bad for a plumber. A word of stylistic advice to the author: I don't see what is gained by referring to Vicki as "the sex crazed bitch" in the normal narrative. It makes sense to use this terminology to express DAVE's thoughts; but the author does a good job of giving an objective but hot description of events, and I think the evaluative reference weakens the presentation. Normally, when it is the author speaking we hear words like "the beautiful young woman" or even "the beautiful young woman whose cunt ached for his cock." A lot of authors do this. My advice is to consider what can be gained by using the appropriate words at the right times. {The following is fine: "OK, bitch!" Dave swore, "You want fucked. This is a fuck!" It's proper because these are DAVE's words, not the narrator's.} Not everything in the story was a turn-on for me. For example, I don't find it at all erotic to think of a guy pissing on me; and while swallowing cum seems sexy to me, gulping down a mouthful of piss does not. Likewise, sticking my finger and even my tongue into a pulsating ass is sexy; but I have no desire to have a guy dump his load on me. However, there was plenty of hot stuff, and I could have simply skimmed the less delectable parts. As I started this story, I was seriously considering docking the author for having no real plot - this story was just an excuse to talk about sex. But then I discovered that there really was a plot of sorts; and at the very least it was a damned good excuse to talk about sex. Then I said to myself that certainly I had to subtract a point or so for the lack of realism. I mean, I've read Kinsey and Masters & Johnson and some of the others; and not even Shere Hite thinks a guy who has already been having frequent sex can have this many orgasms. But what the hell! "High Noon" is a great movie, and nobody ever counts how many times Will Kane fires his six-shooter without reloading. Assuming there are people who want to read a story primarily to get themselves or a friend turned on, there may be a demand for this story! Ratings for "The Hedonists" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Marie" by Friar Dave. {In the current repost this story is listed as "Marie" by Marie. Not true. It's by Friar Dave.} When she was a little under 11 years old and had a body that was a bit advanced for her age, Marie made an important discovery. She could become close to and even have sex with nice men, and she could turn them on and still have them treat her right, and it could be fun and sweet and pleasurable and not hateful or hurtful or scary. The problem was that soon she loved sex, and she was used to getting it pretty much when she wanted it. And she was often horny as hell. To use Marie's own expression, she was making Lolita look like a nun. Marie's initial sexual contacts were with boys near her own age. She quickly graduated to more mature boys and to adult men. Once she had experienced the more mature partners, she lost interest in younger boys. She progresses to numerous hot, sexy adventures. If we accept this as fiction - a nice story - then we're OK. If we look at it as a case study - which is the format the author uses - then our choices are to regard this story as either (1) a very unusual set of circumstances or (2) a far-fetched fantasy. The FACT is that there is an overwhelming tendency for girls who become sexually active this young to have adult lives that are at best far below their potential at and worst just plain miserable. I have worked with kids who have been sexually active. I am not talking about "kids" who get married and start a family when they are 17. I am talking about kids who start having constant sex when they are under 12 years old. In general, when they become adults, they have no idea what real love is about. They've lost their childhood. They almost invariably either drop out of school or just sit in a desk until the law permits them to leave. They enter into a series of shallow sexual relationships as adults, and they almost never have what a sensible person would call a stable family. My guess is that by their fiftieth birthday half of the kids I have known like this will be dead after an unhappy life. I also serve as an informal counselor to a large number of well-adjusted teenagers (by being the sponsor of various organizations), and my impression is that the sexual experiences of these kids begin much later in life. Articles and case studies published in scientific journals confirm my perception. It's possible that I'm getting a biased sample in my real life contacts. I work with kids who are dysfunctional, and so maybe I just don't see the well-adjusted kids who have been having frequent sex since they were 11 years old. It's POSSIBLE that the world is full of wonderful children like Marie who become sexually active before they turn 11, who are never sexually exploited, and whose lives are not permanently screwed up because of their early sexual experiences. These kids would not come to my attention, because they look like normal kids and don't advertise the fact that they're fucking one another's brains out when I'm not looking. It's also important to note that even with the dysfunctional kids it may be the problems in the rest of their lives that lead to early sexual behavior rather than vice versa. What I most emphatically want to say is that I do NOT believe that any of you readers who started your sexual careers at a really early age are necessarily scarred for life because of this. On the other hand, I hope you have the honesty to admit that maybe life would be better were it not for some early problems and mistakes. Marie discovered early in this story that sex could be fun and sweet and pleasurable and not hateful or hurtful or scary. I learned the same thing from my mother and from the happy environment in which I grew up. Mom didn't let me look at porn magazines when I was really young, because they would "give me a wrong impression of sex and love." My father and mother were very affectionate in front of us, and I knew that someday I might get lucky and have a similar relationship. She knew what kinds of movies I watched and casually offered me advice, including the encouragement to "save myself" for somebody I truly loved. I had a full childhood and a happy athletic career in high school; and I cannot imagine my sex life being much better than it is right now - except when I get interesting ideas from these stories. My advice to my own daughters has been similar; and had I ever suspected that one of them was engaging in precocious sexual behavior I would have done what I could have done to lead her to a more adaptive lifestyle. Having stated my personal philosophy in the previous paragraphs, now I'll say that this is still an excellent story. It's "realistic" in the sense that these events COULD happen to a person that would grow up to be a normal, functioning adult. And if you read the whole story, I think you'll discover that Marie's eventual opinion of her life story is not all that different from my own. The story is also just plain enjoyable - even to a person like myself who would discourage such behavior in real life. I have close friends and relatives who adamantly insist that anything that's immoral, unwise, or unrealistic cannot be enjoyable. That's just plain stupid. When I watch Star Wars, I don't worry about the impact on their families of killing the storm troopers of the Evil Empire. When I watch a movie about a clever bank robbery, I don't worry about the fact that such activity would ultimately influence how banks would operate and probably cause hardship for families with marginal incomes. Get real! It would be fun to rob a bank and get away with it (although I would never do it and it couldn't really be harmless in real life), and it would also be fun for a 12-year-old to pull a train with a bunch of friendly 16-year-olds. Not wise, perhaps, but certainly fun. Some people cite this as Friar Dave's best story. I liked "Inger" better, but this one is still an excellent story. Ratings for "Marie" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ .../assm/faq.html> /