Message-ID: <5911eli$9711281518@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: roseymaryd@aol.com (RoseyMaryD) X-Good-Line-Length: yes Subject: {ASS} The Critical Review: Issue 1 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-Id: <19971127030301.WAA01977@ladder01.news.aol.com> X-Is-Review: yes The Critical Condition: Issue 1 By RoseyMaryD@aol.com INTRODUCTION Greetings fellow readers, authors and reviewers, The Critical Condition is a bi-weekly review of stories posted to alt.sex.stories. I hope that it will be handy to you in your search for quality stories to read. I like my counterparts, Celeste and Lady C, want to help point out stories that are otherwise overlooked or lost in the vast universe of the 'net. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR ANOTHER REVIEWER IN ALT.SEX.STORIES? I should give a reason; especially when there are already several reviewers out here. I only speculate that the sheer good example of Celeste and Lady C are to blame for my sudden endeavor. The explanation is very simple. It looks like bloody good fun! I shall get to read sensual, sexual, erotic stories and give my reactions to them -- which basically is a job that I will take great pleasure in doing. Hopefully. WHAT ARE MY QUALIFICATIONS? 1.) I have written several stories, myself. (Although, none have been published on-line.) 2.) I have my masters in English. 3.) I love dirty stories. 4.) I am very sexual. 5.) I want to. Hmm, let's get on with the reviews... Hopefully, we shall get to know each other as time goes on. For now, I am happy with being a mystery -- an enigma -- if you will. -Rosey HOW DO I RATE THE STORIES AND/OR POETRY? I rate the stories in three categories (not unlike Celeste801). Technical = Grammar, Style, Diction, Structure, and Tone Plot = Did the story have one? Was it realistic? Well done? Etc. Arousal = Did it "float my boat"? Reviews: "Friendship" by Hawk Richards "Surprise, Surprise" by The Poetic One "One Fine Weekend" by Mr. G. Reaper "Pussy Cats" by Candy Kane "The Misadventures of Jane Jetson" by Cernovog "Friendship" Author: Hawk Richards NG: ASSM Date: Sat, 22 Nov 1997 Codes: (M/F) Rating: A This story took on the age old saying, "Let's just be friends." The narrator paints a picture of mixed signals and sexual innuendo very well. I found his sexual descriptions to be very erotic and sensual. All in all, the story was executed well. His grammar was adequately above the normal a.s.s. story, but still had one or two rocky moments. I have read some of his other writings and feel he has grown substantially as a storyteller. I look forward to reading more his work. Detailed Ratings: Technical: A- Plot: A Arousal: A+ "Surprise, Surprise" Parts 1 & 2 Author: The Poetic One NG: ASSM Date: Wed, 19 Nov 1997 Codes: (F/m, M/f, D/s, bond, etc.) Rating: B Some mischievous planning leads to some arousing play. The author seems to know a bit about the BDSM world and the toys that come with it. Leather fetishists and bondage lovers will love this story. At first, the writing seemed a bit trite and ambiguous, but I found that as the story progressed it became much easier to read. Still, I would love to see the author use a spellchecker. Delicious plot twists. I suggest reading this story. Detailed Rating: Technical: C Plot: B Arousal: B+ Final Rating: B "One Fine Weekend" Author: Mr. G. Reaper NG: ASSM Date: Wed, 19 Nov 1997 Codes: (M/f, inc?, anal) Rating: C+ This is Mr. Reaper's first story posted to alt.sex.stories. I sometimes wonder why an author apologizes for any faults before we even get a chance to read the story. It is apparent that he did not use a spellchecker as he stated in his introduction, but I am getting ahead of myself. I actually sorta liked the story. It is apparent that he is trying to mimic another semi-well known writer on A.S.S.M. Personally, the style doesn't really suit him. I found the prose chaotic, choppy and awkward. He abused the typical setup of a sex story -- which means he told us the ages, breast sizes and other incidental trivia to get the reader aroused, instead of letting us get caught up his tale. Did it work? Somewhat. I found the story started to get better as I progressed. I have noticed in my readings that many writers tend to fumble a bit in the beginning of their tales. This leads me to believe that they are either in too much of a hurry to get to the heart of the story or they just needed to type into a good groove. Let's see. We have a brother in-law, a sexy 19-year-old virgin, and a sticky situation. I won't give away the plot, but the sex is very arousing. Before I give the final rating, I wanted to mention that I didn't think the story was non-consensual as the author hinted at in the storycodes. Personally, I thought it was a mutual kinda thing. Detailed Rating: Technical: C Plot: C Arousal: B Final Rating: C "Pussy Cats" Author: Candy Kane (CANDY KANE) NG: ASSM Date: Wed, 19 Nov 1997 Codes: (f/f) Rating: C+/B- This lesbian romp teeters precariously on the borderline between a schoolboy fantasy and a wet dream. Several cheerleaders get together for a sleep over, while the hostess of the party's parents are gone for the weekend. A couple of six packs, a few joints and a porno movie later, the scantily clad girls are busying themselves with the pleasures of the flesh. Did it turn me on? Yes. Detailed Ratings: Technical: C+/B- Plot: C Arousal: B- Final Rating C+/B- The Misadventures of Jane Jetson Author: Cernovog NG: ASSM Date: Wed, 19 Nov 1997 Codes: (F/m, inc, pedo, beast) Rating: C- This story's title caught my attention. I mean, who doesn't love the Jetson's cartoon? After reading this story, I wanted to wash my hands because I felt dirty. Not because my personal biases cloud my review, but because I wanted to wipe the disgust from my memory of such a fun cartoon. That is just my own personal slant. To give an apt review, I shall set aside my biases for the moment. We have a basic Mother/son/dog storyline, which centers around a horny housewife, Jane Jetson. I shouldn't give away the whole plot, yet after the first paragraph you will be able to guess what is going to happen. She will seduce her son, which won't be too hard because he is just a horny child. The only surprise was the copulation with the dog, which wasn't very much of a surprise because of the storycodes. If you like a whimsical tale of incest mixed with a dash of bestiality, then I suggest this story to you. But, if you are like me, skip it. I am sure I will get flack for reviewing a story that I obviously wouldn't like, however I feel it is important to let my readers know my tastes, especially since this is my first issue. Detailed Ratings: Technical: C- Plot: C Appeal: D Final Rating: C- -- RoseyMaryD@aol.com -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ .../assm/faq.html> /