Message-ID: <5665eli$9711171020@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: LadyCyrrh@aol.com Subject: The Annex Reviews 11/16/97 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <971117014350_2071553386@mrin39> X-Is-Review: yes Re the Kim incident: I don't know really know what to say about this, except it seems a little foolish to go looking for true friendship in a newsgroup devoted to sexual fantasies, as it's certain many writers of those stories are living a certain fantasy themselves. This isn't to say there aren't genuine people here, or concerned souls, or guys and gals who are honestly interested in honest communication with other people. But it has always been my credo, as a writer and reviewer, to accept stories and authors with a grain of salt and not to get too caught up in them. Real friends in the real world are 100% better than cyberfriends. Real sex in the real world is 200% better than any form of cybersex. The stories: Video Knights in Katmandu [A] When posted: 10/26/97 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: Jayant Lund Address: jlund@poboxes.com If you think all people of East Indian extraction do is play the sitar, make curries, and program computers, you're wrong. They also write some very fine porn, of which this is an example. The story was about as porny as you get: it read like a blow-by-blow, plunge-by-plunge description of a porno film. An Indian porno film. (The Indian film industry is the second largest in the world, after Hollywood, so it makes sense they would have a very large porno film industry as well.) As such, it worked very well; it was a perfectly acceptable substitute for an adult video, particularly the opening description of the man's anus winking open and shut as he slaps his meat into a lovely Bengali sex queen. As a story with characters and a plot in the Western sense, it worked somewhat less well. There have been more than one Indian story posted recently, with more than author, but going by the writing styles and subject matter, I'd venture they were all written by the same person, or perhaps translated by the same person. The sex acts tended to be interchangeable and there wasn't a lot of atmosphere, strange for a story in an exotic locale. But this makes sense considering they were probably written by Indians for Indians: why would they need detailed tourist descriptions of their own country? The writing was also very good, if a little short on insight. All in all, an interesting cross-cultural experience. Master Plaster, Part 1 [C] When posted: 10/31/97 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: HinkaNNJ36 Address: hinkannj36@aol.com This story is an attempt to cross genres: rape, anal, watersports, and bondage, specifically plaster-wrapped bondage. As such it was very confused. The piece begins in typical chirpy ASS style: "Hi! Linda here. I'm just your typical average, bright, attractive, 22 year old college student." Plucky Linda goes with her college roommate to the estate of a rich dude where they plan on getting laid. While touring the grounds they see a garden of realistic plaster statues that are controlled by a remote to pee and ejaculate on cue. This inspires the two girls and their dates to have an orgy where the heroine has a needle injected into her nipple while a statue pees copiously on the other couple, who are fisting each other. I predict the statues are really people, and the narrator eventually winds up as one of them, to spare you the chore of reading parts 2 and 3. This author really needs to think about what kind of story they want to tell--bondage, rape, typical BBS "swinger" fare, or what. It was also annoying to deal with really long paragraphs and lines of dialogue that are all lumped together. Lastly, the story wasn't one bit believable, particularly the part about plaster statues being left outside in the rain. They'd dissolve. I also couldn't picture any characters who would act the way these characters would, either. Dream Machine [B+] When posted: 11/10/97 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: Unknown This story was also confused in a way, a dreamlike depiction of rape, snuff and bondage through an imaginary kingdom, much like Mr. Spraycan's Nottamun Town which I reviewed back in August. In this story, the narrator is connected to a machine that amplifies his dreams, and while asleep he comes upon scenario after scenario of beautiful women being whipped, milked like cows, tied on top of razors, and shish- kebabed to be roasted over hot coals, all of which he observes in a detached way. The episodic journey ends when he wakes, where he finds his dreams had been mixed up with someone else's--a psychopath's--and forms an immediate attraction to the project's coordinator, a beautiful woman who resembles the last victim in his dream. So a romance begins. Many people find rape, snuff and torture stories very disturbing; however, many people like to read and write them too, for their visceral thrills if nothing else. I think this story was written in response to those thrills, but the author was a little embarrassed about the whole thing, or perhaps guilt stricken, which is why he couched it in the form of a dream detached from real life. The "happy" ending also seemed tacked on and out of place, making the story feel schizophrenic, but hey, for a torture story, this was comparatively good. Bikini Brothel [A-/B+] When posted: 11/9/97 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: Lord Shon Address: lordshon@aol.com Lord Shon states in the preface to this story: "This story is inspired by how a late-night T & A movie can be more erotic than your normal porn movie. In this story I try to merge the playfull stupidity of Late night with the explicit sex of porn. And most of all I tried to make my friends smile." Well, I smiled all right. Michelle and Heather, two typical blonde bimbos with IQs smaller than their nipple diameters, spend a day at the pool. Unable to access cock for the time being, they start to 69 each other. In the midst of all this a lawyer walks in to announce Michelle has inherited a brothel, and in between his pronouncements, he fucks her ass: "He guided his hard ten inches of into her dripping bald love box with legal ease. Heather screamed into Michelle's pussy as he pounded her from behind. Heather's high heels came up and stabbed Alex's ass when her legs embraced his buttocks." Amen to that. I enjoyed the story a lot, but the writing here could use more refinement. This is more important for humor pieces than it is for serious ones, as they depend so much on rhythm and delivery--like the patter of a stand-up comedian--to amuse and entertain us. However, the roughness of style also made the story work well as a parody of a poorly written sex story...not that the story itself was poor, only that it mocked poorness--and the silliness of it did make me laugh out loud. There's a Part 2, too. Doc's Orders, Chapter 3 [A] When posted: 11/9/97 Where posted: ASS, ASSB Author: The Mighty Quinn Address: tmquin@ibm.net The Mighty Quinn is back with this new series about female abduction and slavehood, which has the rip roaring pace of a contemporary thriller. Except, instead of being about hotshot lawyers or angst-ridden cops, it's about a guy who runs a business kidnapping young girls, holding them prisoner in an underground bunker complex, and training them as sex slaves which he sells at a high profit. In this chapter, the narrator and his companion Kitten -- who he has trained as his sex slave/companion from the time she was 13 -- participate in a plot to break one such slave. The teenage girl turns out to be the daughter of a woman who dumped the narrator long ago, so now he delights in turning the tables as he discusses her fate: "Silver rings in both nipples, navel, clit hood......Nothing comes close to describing the look on Beth's face. That expression of horrified shock made me feel so damned good. To be talked of in the same way that someone might discuss the options on a new car, to have other people decide how your body will look for the rest of your life -- it must have been a first for her." This paragraph pretty much sums the chapter up. Although I can't tell more about the main plot of the series because I'm not reading it in order, it looks pretty good, and is perhaps a bit more livelier and intelligent than "Captured Caroline." I'd like to think the author doesn't take it too seriously. I hope he doesn't take it too seriously. a story...d/s, humiliation [B/B-] When posted: 11/8/97 Where posted: ASSD (alt.sex.stories.discussion) Author: Alaina Taylor Address: Here's another flake of kink, a short piece about the pleasures a confidant, masculine dom brings to a submissive woman. This supremely confidant guy lovetalks his sub into peeing on the floor in front of him through her panties, an act which causes her to inexplicably begin to weep. So he whips her ass until she stops, for which she is grateful. I'm pretty neutral about piss games. They don't disgust me, and they can be pretty arousing, particularly when the pissee is being ritually humiliated. But I honestly can't see deliberately wetting your pants in front of someone as being erotic. The nature of pissing is active, like ejaculation, and requires a something or someone to be pissed on. Just pissing for the sake of display seems pretty stupid, especially in that it doesn't arouse the dom. If he whupped her for pissing accidently, then we'd have a story. But this act makes no sense at all. Otherwise, the writing was OK, so I wanted to give it a B; but I dropped a quarter point because the author forgot to give it a title. The Pet [B+] When posted: 11/8/97 Where posted: SSBB (soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm) Author: KELLI21257 Address: kelli21257@aol.com A beautiful, bitchy blonde ("two immaculate, tanned, fit, gorgeous legs; a pink and black spandex body stocking tightly hugging a firm, yet voluptuous form; slim but muscular arms reaching for the sky as she stretched out; a beautiful, sun-bronzed face with clear blue eyes and dazzling white teeth; and long, magnificent, shimmering strawberry- blonde hair pulled back into a thick pony-tail") jogging in the park meets a decrepit old man and jeers at him, saying he's way too old to get it up. They make a bet. If he can't, she gets his house. If he can, she has to be his pet for a year. Much to the blonde's amazement, he whips out his dick and produces a King Kong erection, and as the loser she is placed in a pet crate in the back of his station wagon and driven off for a veterinary examination, which is the main part of the story. This part had similarities to Dr. Phil's work ("The Boss" "Mr. Hyde") and although I can't say it was professional writing, or even writing by someone who's trying to be a professional writer, as amateur porn it had a slutty, over-the-top feel I really liked. Poor Kelli is placed on a metal examination table, vaccinated, probed rectally, then has her pubes and head shaved, then denuded by a chemical to destroy the hair forever. The vet eagerly abets all this, as she's been a rival of Kelli's from their college days. In the end Kelli is given a pink collar with rhinestones, a leash, and led out the door naked with "her naked pate shining in the glaring lights" for more humiliation. This story was totally unrealistic (Why does Kelli not welch on a such an extreme bet? Why is there a fireplace in a vet's examination room? How can a 75-year-old man restrain an athletic young female?) but the cartoonish pleasures it gives just wouldn't have worked with more realism. However, I really can't rate it higher than B+ because of these problems. There were also other writing problems with overdescription and constant switching of point of view. My feeling is that the story can probably be reworked into something more literary and satisfying; but what it is right now, I liked it, because it's always satisfying to see a bitchy blonde bimbo undergo sexual humiliation, no matter what gender you are. This story also brings up an interesting point in contrast with "Doc's Orders." Namely, what is so humiliating about losing one's pubic hair? In both these stories, the heroines are shocked, horrified, and turn into globs of weeping goo when their pussies are depilitated. If anyone can be give me analysis, I'd like to know. 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