Message-ID: <5543eli$9711082202@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: Celeste801@aol.com Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 232 - Nov 8 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <971108213930_901595291@mrin45.mail.aol.com> X-Is-Review: yes Celestial Reviews 232 - November 8, 1997 Note: I am giving up on tracking down author's addresses. If you don't put your name and address ON THE MANUSCRIPT, I am no longer going to bother tracking it down for you. Second note: Mark Bastable has written a new story and has also reposted all his old ones. I am reviewing the new one and reposting all the old reviews. Welcome back, Mark! I'm looking forward to "L." Third note: I had a joke set for this "third note" slot, but in light of the recent flare-up regarding two of my favorite people on a.s.s.d., I suppose I should move the humor to the next issue and make a brief comment here. Many readers have already offered constructive input, but I thought I should at least mention the issue here. I am going to go into my Matriarch mode for the duration of this note. Then I'll return to my Sex Goddess mode for the rest of this issue. I have very little actual authority in either mode, but occasionally something I say makes sense. So here goes. First, let me tell you both, if you read this, what I would tell my daughter under the same circumstances: "Get a grip! Take this whole episode as a growth experience and get on with your lives." My daughter would tell me to take a flying fuck at the moon, but then she would let some time pass, get a grip, and take it as a growth experience. I hope you do the same. This is not to say anyone's problem is unimportant, but let's try to keep things in perspective. Second, don't do anything really stupid when you are really upset. Count to ten or have sex with someone really nice and let some time pass. If you wind up doing something you later regret, consider the possibility of undoing it. You don't always have to live with your mistakes - sometimes you can correct them. Third, be realistic. Don't be naive! Not everything on a.s.s.d. is what it seems to be. Some of the "true" stories are not really true; some of them aren't even POSSIBLE. But if Mike Hunt is really the Weasel who writes anonymous reviews under the name Piper and then denounces himself, who is he really hurting? I myself am comfortable relating to people on this newsgroup with the assumption that they are who they say they are. Of course, all I do is read dirty stories and give grammar advice, so my risks are low. However, I think all you readers should be sophisticated enough to realize that somebody out there might be playing a game by different rules than you are. Protect yourself! Finally, I consider you both to be my friends, and I hope to see you around here again. If you go away, you'll miss us, and we'll miss you. By the way, if you have no idea what I am talking about, either read a.s.s.d. between SHIT IN MY FACE!!! and BARBIE IS WAITING - or better yet, ignore this note. Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste "Stabat Mater" by Zealot McCarthy (pedophile fantasy) 8, 9, 5 "Ruthie Rabbit and the Hounds" by DANTE (bestiality & snuff) 9, 9, 0 "Down the Aisle" by Frenchy the Third (manipulation) 8, 8, 8 "The Elaboration" by Oscar Paco (nudity & hedonism) 10, 10, 10 "My Brother" by Janet L. Dunning (very friendly adult incest) 10, 10, 10 "K" by Mark Bastable (passing judgment on a dissolute life) 10, 10, 10 Guest Reviews: "Lost Passion" by H.D. Meister (mutual masturbation) 7, 8, 7 "The Birthday Party" by Losgud (romantic birthday weekend) 8, 8, 9 "Greatheads Come Together" by Unknown Author (hot sex plus outrageous farce) 9, 8, 10 "So Shy" by Scott Sanders (young love) 9, 10, 10 "The Vendor of Coconuts" by F. L. Byrste (insipid sex) "DS9: Body of Evidence" By Alan C. McD (sci fi sex) 8, 10, 7 "Awakening Jennifer" by Sabina GA (lesbian awakening) 6, 7, 6 Reposted Reviews: * "Auditor" by Mark Bastable (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10 * "Bean City" by Mark Bastable (bdsm) 10, 10, 10 * "Catalyst" by Mark Bastable (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10 * "Dutch Treat" by Mark Bastable (tawdry encounter) 10, 10, 10 * "Escalator" by Mark Bastable (brief encounter) 10, 9, 9 * "French Tickler" by Mark Bastable (sex on a bus) 10, 10, 10 * "Glissando" by Mark Bastable (very hot non-sex) 10, 10, 10 * "Hotel" by Mark Bastable (bdsm) 10, 10, 10 * "Interpreter" by Mark Bastable (sexual innuendo) 10, 10, 10 * "July 4" by Mark Bastable (public quickie) 10, 10, 10 * = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been reposted) "Stabat Mater" by Zealot McCarthy (nobody@REPLAY.COM). The author states up front that English is not his native language. This presents some minor problems, but overall the result is a very simple use of the language that adds to the straightforwardness of the narrative. The story describes a man going to a cathedral to listen to a musical presentation in which his favorite little girl will sing as part of the choir. He fantasizes that she joins him for sex during the recital. She doesn't, but he comes anyway. I originally assumed that the story might have something to do with the "Stabat Mater," which is a traditional Latin song about Mary at the foot of the Cross of Jesus. However, as far as this story is concerned, the title has no meaning beyond the fact that this was the song the choir was singing while the man was fantasizing. This is not the kind of story that most readers of this newsgroup usually enjoy; but it does give a reasonable representation of the mind of confused man who is lusting after an innocent little girl. Ratings for "Stabat Mater" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5 "Ruthie Rabbit and the Hounds" by DANTE. There's a really good mainstream story entitled "The Most Dangerous Game" by Richard Connell, in which madman captures and hunts human prey. In that story the human prey manages to turn the tables on his insane predator. In this case we have a woman being hunted down, sexually mistreated, mutilated, and killed. I'd like to think the author is being satirical - pointing out that only a person with no life or brains would enjoy a story like this. I must have a life or brains or something, because I didn't enjoy this story even a little bit. Ratings for "Ruthie Rabbit and the Hounds" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 0 "Down the Aisle" by Frenchy the Third. The narrator of this story claims to have built the woman he intended to marry into the ideal sextoy for himself, both physically and emotionally. The story consists of a detailed description of the manipulations through which the narrator gets his bride-to-be primed for the wedding and for their life of bliss together. He uses his powers of persuasion to get Tawny to agree to his Five Basic Conditions; and sure enough, she agrees; and sure enough she becomes ecstatically happy as a result of her submissiveness to this wonderful stud. Of course, she has no comparable demands for him; but hey, if one's stud is going to take care of one, why should one make demands? I suspect guys will enjoy this story more than ladies will. Ratings for "Down the Aisle" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 8 DG (appeal to reviewer): 8 "The Elaboration" by Oscar Paco (OscarPaco@aol.com). The title of this story refers to the gradual steps in the development of the hedonistic relationship between a middle-aged man and two lovely young ladies. After his divorce the man initially becomes interested in nude sunbathing himself, and then he meets the young ladies on the beach and becomes especially attracted to one of them. Slowly they become closer and eventually engage in sexual activities. The timing of the story and the descriptions of the activities are very well done. This is a very nice story. Ratings for "The Elaboration" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 DG (appeal to reviewer): 10 "My Brother" by Janet L. Dunning with help from Friar Dave (Friar_Dave@mhbbs.com). This exceptionally well-written story comes to us through the eyes of a woman who has barely graduated from college and who is visiting her older brother. She becomes attracted to her brother and also to the woman whom his brother is dating. Meanwhile, she dates that woman's brother, and the cad tries to date rape her. When she brings this news home to her brother and his date, they comfort her and make tender love to her. She eventually develops a long-term, loving relationship with her brother, with occasional visits from the other woman. It's all very sexy. I found this story listed as "Dunning" in a.s.s. Friar Dave claims it was written by someone else (Janet Dunning), with a little help from him for the finishing touches. This may be true, but it certainly reads like one of Friar Dave's better stories. Ratings for "My Brother" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 DG (appeal to reviewer): 10 "K" by Mark Bastable (markb@aboy.demon.co.uk). This author is writing one story for each letter of the alphabet. Although having a character named "K" sounds like a really lazy approach to meeting the K requirement, this is still a very good story. David K has been arrested an is on trial in the court of morality for his sexual sins, which are summarized in an interesting manner. Eventually even he begins to agree that maybe he was a bit of an asshole; but he realizes that if he throws himself at the mercy of the court, he may get off easy . He does, but he doesn't. I can't give you the details. Just remember: "Jesus H Christ, nobody's responsible for promises made in the throes of lust. Nobody believes that stuff." Ratings for "K" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 DG (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Lost Passion" by H.D. Meister (dez187lm@hotmail.com). Guest review by Mark Aster. This is basically a nice friendly sex story, about a guy who is looking forward to a nice solitary night of jerking off to dirty movies when a lesbian friend invites herself over, and they end up masturbating together and generally having a good time. But there's all this other odd STUFF in it that I don't understand, and that detracts seriously from the effect. Possibly the stuff has to do with some fetish that I'm not familiar with, or some personal fantasy of the author's, or perhaps this is part of a longer novel or something. I dunno. For instance, the author on the one hand wants to build up a certain sexual tension here, as though masturbating in front of each other would be an exciting forbidden new thing. But on the other hand the second sentence we hear him say to her is "Just don't be shocked when I whip out Gunny and pound pud." So it's pretty clear that their relationship isn't exactly characterized by delicacy and restraint. The narrator also refers to "Mack90" many times; it seems to be some magical method of controlling women by talking in the proper tones, or of mind-reading , or perhaps it's a spirit that lodges in his head and helps him do the right thing in tough situations. Or something. He apparently got it from his father. And it actually plays no important role at all in the story; nothing the two characters do needs a magical or supernatural explanation. But the author keeps bringing it in anyway. The diction and spelling are uneven. In the midst of a rather explicit scene, the narrator suddenly thinks "sleep with her", when he actually means "ball/screw/fuck her", and the euphemism is distractingly funny. At one point we have the text "I always wondered what it would feel like to run my tongue across the whit-hot lfesh beneath the thick hair thish struggled valiantly to hide a woman's wonder." Now it's possible that that line got mangled in transit by some computer, but I suspect that the story just needs spell-checking. The title also seems to have no bearing on the story, unless I'm missing something very key... Well, I'm nattering. I'll only mention one last oddity, because it struck me as so funny: "I sat in one of the two recliner chairs in my livingroom smoking on a ten dollar cigar and sipping on a forty ounce malt liquor (yeah... I'm black)". Now I guess I'm just naive, but that last parenthetical phrase there had me giggling pretty hard. Are we supposed to have inferred his race from the chairs, the cigar, or the liquor? Ah well, at least it wasn't watermelon or fried chicken... Anyway, I would have enjoyed this story much more without the odd pseudo-magical and mind-reading baggage, as just a simple story of two friends enjoying each other's company. But what can you do? (I'll do numbers, but be warned that I'm probably a tougher grader than Celeste, even when I'm trying to roughly mimic her numbering.) Ratings for "Lost Passion" Athena (technical quality): 7 Venus (plot & character): 8 Aster (appeal to reviewer): 7 "The Birthday Party" by Losgud (lushgod@hotmail.com). Guest Review by DG. I reviewed a story by losgud a while back, and while I liked the story, I complained about the jumpy, stream-of-consciousness style, which I found a little distracting. In this story, the author has reduced the aimless rambling and concentrated on the narrative, and the result is, in my opinion, a better story. The narrator and his wife have birthdays a week apart, and he is trying to arrange a romantic birthday weekend alone without the kids. But his sister seems determined to ruin his plans. First she refuses to look after the kids. Then, when he finally gets everything arranged, she comes over to visit with his wife and refuses to leave. I don't think any longtime a.s.s. readers will be astonished to find out what happens next, but suffice it to say that the weekend lives up to expectations after all. Losgud has a flippant, casual narrative style that I enjoy, and I found the sex in this story to be quite arousing. There's nothing spectacular about this story, but it's a good, sexy read. As a side note, losgud mentions that this may be his last story, because he feels he is wasting his time and isn't getting much feedback. Although I feel as an a.s.s. author that the writing has to be its own reward, there is something very uplifting about receiving email from people who enjoyed your stories, and if losgud isn't getting any (pun intended) I can see why he would get discouraged. Ratings for "The Birthday Party" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 8 DG (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Greatheads Come Together" by Unknown Author. Guest review by Bronwen. The narrator, his wife and her sister are an item, or at least they become one soon after the story begins. Greathead is his wife's maiden name - guess why they keep it? Once established, the happy trio enjoy a long sequence of episodes fucking, sucking and buggering anyone who's passing. Some totally preposterous situations occur. It's a blast. But it's a real mix. Some things the author describes convincingly, a moment later I'd have a strong impression he didn't know of what he wrote. So it's realism mixed with uninformed fantasy, excruciatingly funny at times, banal at others. Hot sex plus the most outrageous farce. A lot of the time it's like playing Twister in your mind's eye - so many participants doing so much. I lost track of limbs and orifices several times. I guess 'patchy' is an understatement but the good bits are brilliant. I'd be losing interest, then he'd put in a great joke and I'd perk up. Some of our cheery narrator's lines are wonderful. Here's just two: "Okay," I said. "Everybody off the bed! Anyone who's still on the bed when I count 3 gets cornholed." and "..by the time I got the horse suit off, the pizza boy was gone and it was dinner time." Unmissable, really.... Ratings for "Greatheads Come Together" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 8 Bronwen (appeal to reviewer): 10 "So Shy" by Scott Sanders. Guest review by Dart. Scott and Jenny are a couple of high school kids. Jenny is extremely shy; Scott is intrigued. He approaches her, and discovers the reason for her shyness is a bad stuttering problem. A problem he once suffered from himself, and a problem that still, under stress, occasionally reasserts itself. He tries to help her but is unsuccessful. Nevertheless, they become friends. He asks her out, and she accepts. They go to a movie; he's thrilled to hear her laugh at it. Then they eat, and park, and explore each other. Pretty straightforward stuff, but the loveliness of the story is in the details. The plot is very believable, and the characters, especially Jenny, are nicely drawn. There is a point, when Scott first offers himself, sexually, to Jenny that he seems just a little out of character, a little harsher, a little more cavalier, than I expected. Still, if you've a teenaged daughter, this is a young man you'd be happy to have her date. Finally, the story could have used a very light proofreading. That could have removed, a misspelling, an unneeded word, a harsh sentence, the few defects in the story. Ratings for "So Shy" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 10 Dart (appeal to reviewer): 10 "The Vendor of Coconuts" by F. L. Byrste (flbyrste@thevortex.com). Guest review by Tooshoes. A couple of weeks ago, Celeste reviewed a few stories written by authors from India, some of which were quite good. So I was looking forward to reading The Vendor of Coconuts, from another Indian author. I was curious what differences I might find in Indian sex stories. Maybe I would even learn something about the erotic wisdom of the Kama Sutra. I hoped to meet new people, and learn new ideas about sexuality. Unfortunately, I didn't get any of that in Coconuts, which only taught me that bad sex stories exist the world over. The sex was certainly plentiful and profane enough, exceeding the recommended daily allowance of obscenity, but it came in relatively flavorless doses. I had never before been so bored by the lengthy descriptions of perfect bodies bouncing off each other. The style and the characters were mechanical, with no real life or creativity. Noun watched Direct Object. Noun got hot. Noun fucked Direct Object adverbally up the ass. Most of the dialog in Coconuts came in sound effects rather than words. For example, when a woman climaxed, she would scream something like "OHHHHHHHHH unhhh OHHHHHH OH OH OH ahhhhh YES Ahhhhhhh". I think this kind of dialog works much better if you are reading the story aloud. Maybe the best way to describe Vendor of Coconuts is as the novelization of a would be porno flick. All of the characters were porn star actors and actresses (not including the coconut vendor), so perhaps it's not surprising that this story resembled a porn movie -- lots of standard sex scenes with little to no characterization or plot. So if an exotic setting with lots of action and good lighting (or in this case, good spelling) is all you crave, this may be the story for you. "DS9: Body of Evidence" By Alan C. McD (18157818@msn.com). Guest review by Kim. Well, this is a first for me. This was the first story that I actually volunteered for. Perhaps I should explain that normally Celeste just sends them unasked for and I review them. This time she happened to mention that she had a long Star Trek story, and was anyone interested. Being a devout trekker (well, not to the extent of wearing pointy ears and going to conventions, but... ) I love all the incarnations. My favorite being Voyager. God, I would love so much to be Captain Janeway... hmmmmmm. Oh, sorry, where was I? Ah yes, the story. What we have here is a long, leisurely tale of the bad dreams being suffered by the gorgeous Jadzia Dax, the Trill from Deep Space Nine, the beleaguered ex-Cardasian space-station that guards the entrance to the worm hole, that leads to the dreaded Delta Quadrant, where the... Oh hell, I'm rambling aren't I? . Anyway, Jadzia goes to see the handsome Doctor Bashir and confesses she can't sleep because she's been suffering these intensely erotic dreams. Er, excuse me, but if she's dreaming isn't she asleep? No, matter. Bashir induces a sleep state in her and we journey into the twilight world of space-station sex. There follows long, turgid descriptions of Jadzia screwing Captain Sisko, Doctor Bashir, and Quark, the Ferengi bar keeper. Several times over. There's even a finale of lesbian passion with Major Kira Nerys, the station's spunky Bajoran second in command, licking up all the collective semen pumped on, and in, the dazed Dax. It all ends with a large dose of satisfying techno-babble, involving telepathic alien babes, or some such. very Star Trek. Was it worth reading? Well, maybe. It's unfortunate that the author manages to makes the sex so lazy. I don't mean it's badly written, it's just so s-l-o-w, you find your mind wondering, which is crazy for a supposedly hot sex romp. So, something of a missed opportunity. Maybe next time, Alan. Just speed up the sex scenes, please. Ratings for "DS9 Body of Evidence" Athena (technical quality): 8 (Well written, but *DULL* sex scenes) Venus (plot & character): 10 (The characters come ready made, the plot's interesting) Kim (appeal to reviewer): 7 (Could have been great. I stayed resolutely dry) "Awakening Jennifer" by Sabina GA (SabinaGA@aol.com). Guest Review by The Wease1 (thewease1@cyberjunkie.com). Note: That's a number "1" not a letter "L" at the end of Wease1. This story, Sabina's second posting to ASSM, is about a divorced woman named Jennifer who decides to indulge herself in enjoyment of her true lesbian sexual identity during a week when her teenage son is away from home visiting Dad. She begins by masturbating in the TV room, then again in the bathtub, while dreaming of beautiful women. The next day she goes on a shopping spree and meets a younger woman, who flirts with her a little bit. Then the story ends. The foregoing plot summary is not only to help you decide whether or not you want to read this story, but also to help you understand the story on first reading if you do decide to read it. Sabina may have an interesting story to tell here, but her method of telling it makes it a little difficult to follow. The first four paragraphs are primarily introduction of the character, but the tense switches around from past to past perfect to present, making it difficult to determine whether the events narrated are recent past, ancient history, or just the past tense "present" commonly used in most stories. Sabina finally settles down to standard past tense narration once the action gets going, and the story is easier to follow from that point on. These narrative problems, plus several simple and easily noticeable grammatical errors that should have been corrected on proof-reading, made me feel that I was reading a first or at best second draft, and earned the story its 6 rating on technical quality. I gave this story a 7 rating for plot and character, because although the reader learns quite a number of facts about the title character, these facts are almost entirely surface matters that do not tell much about who the character really is. The other character, the young lady at the end of the story, might as well be a cardboard cutout -- she is young and petite and borrows clothes from her roommate, and is only in the story for the final few paragraphs, say maybe five minutes of story-time. That leads me to another problem with this story - the plot, or lack thereof. If this young lady is intended to a player in the sexual awakening of Jennifer, as implied by the title, then it seems to have cut off a bit too early. If the young lady has no role other than the lines she is given, then she is extraneous and the story should have ended several paragraphs sooner. As a reader, I hope that Sabina will rewrite to clarify her narrative and to fix the grammatical errors. I also hope that she will expand this story a bit to tell us more about Jennifer and the young girl that she meets. Sabina's writing style and imagery show promise, and I don't want to mislead anyone into thinking that this is a bad story - if it were really crap I'd say so, and I'd give it much lower ratings than 6 and 7 on the first two categories. If this sounds like the type of story you would like, then I urge you to read it, and to write to Sabina with the feedback that she requests. Maybe she'll decide to do that rewrite and extend this story into something really good. The final rating, appeal to reviewer, is the most subjective and was a real problem for me with this story. The story just didn't do anything for me, and I had to decide whether that was due to my lack of interest in the subject matter in general, or just my reaction to this particular story. Although I don't seek out FF as a category to read, I realized upon reflection that I have read and enjoyed several FF stories or FF scenes in stories that I was reading not as part of that category, but just because of who had written them. This story just wasn't as appealing, and I wish I could say why. I finally decided to give it a 6 on this rating. Ratings for "Awakening Jennifer" Athena (technical quality): 6 Venus (plot & character): 7 Wease1 (appeal to reviewer): 6 Story: Dirty Amber by Mary Jorsay Gandmar Review by Wherryman I don't subscribe to a.s.s.d - I wish I could as I miss the chance to discuss the stories but the spam there is overwhelming. Hence I missed some less than flattering remarks about my review for 'New Orleans' until I was looking for something in Dejanews. I take it some people didn't agree with me. No problem - re-reading it *I* don't entirely agree with me but if we didn't open our mouths occasionally we'd have nowhere to put our feet. As a reviewer I don't pretend I'm doing anything other than presenting what was my opinion at the time I read the story. I imagine that people will find that they either agree with me sometimes, and may then read or miss stories accordingly, or mainly disagree - in which they will take what I write with a healthy dose of skepticism. In the case of New Orleans I must have been in a particularly pedantic mood when I read it and if I was marking it now it would score higher. My main concern is not the flaming - I may sulk for a bit but I've got a thick skin - but that I may have unintentionally discouraged an author. It's no good Celeste promoting the Blow Job Principle if a less than careful review undoes the good work. Lesson learnt - pause before posting. No such problems with Dirty Amber - one of several Indian stories that have been posted recently by different authors. I had already read some of them and they are certainly hot, well written stories. However they all left me feeling slightly unsatisfied, being more in the way of descriptive episodes than proper stories. Dirty Amber seems to start the same way, with a very erotic description of an encounter between Sayali and a gigolo; other men are watching including her husband, Suresh. But because Dirty Amber is much longer - posted in 4 parts - it can take the time to tell more of a story. We learn how Sayali and Suresh married and how their relationship changes, and Suresh's business prospers, when Sayali not only reveals the details of her earlier life but incorporates it into their life together. All the Indian stories are worth reading but I think they would benefit from more variety in the format - Dirty Amber does this and is better for it. Finally let me say how sorry I am to lose Kim from our little family at a.s.s.*. I will miss both the stories and the reviews that she posted but wish her well. I was in the middle of an interesting correspondence with her which will now have to be curtailed. Rating for Dirty Amber: Technical merit 9 Plot & character 9 Appeal to reviewer 9 --- end review---------------- -- Jean * "Auditor" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). This is the second story I have read from the Alphabet series by this author. I plan to review them all - one each issue, which should mean 13 weeks for the whole alphabet; but the author is only down to H. The story is wonderfully creative. You may think an auditor is a hapless drudge who checks accounts for a business. Or maybe a person who sits in on a college course without receiving academic credit for it. Actually, this guy is an auditor as opposed to a voyeur. He listens to the Sarah and Lianne, the "S&M dykes" in the adjacent apartment. He does with his ears what voyeurs do with their eyes, and he lets his imagination fill in the blanks. During lapses in the action, he even takes time out to coach the primary interested party: "Hang in there, kid," he says, looking down. "Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible." As the bloke says, you don't have to be Sherlock Holmes, do you? Just read between the lines. This was an excellent story; but you have to read between the lines. Ratings for "Auditor" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Bean City" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). The narrator of this story is a gent who is thirty-five friggin' years old and who spots a classy lady with a mane of hair as black as scandal and skin so clear and white you could show a movie on it in a bar in Boston. They hit it off, and she takes him to her plush hotel room. It turns out she's into humiliation or dominance or some such thing. He'd rather they just have a bit of fun while fucking their mutual brains out. You can read the story to discover how they work things out. Ratings for "Bean City" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Catalyst" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). All the other stories in this issue were written by "regulars" - people whose stories I have reviewed before. In many cases the authors were kind enough to send the stories to me for my convenience. And a fine bunch of stories they are! I remember seeing this one in the postings; but I decided to skip it, because I already had too many stories to read. Then a reader clipped it and sent it to me with his recommendation. I want to thank that reader. This is an excellent story by an author I have never read before. In chemistry class we learned that a catalyst is a substance, usually used in small amounts relative to the reactants, that modifies and increases the rate of a reaction without itself being consumed in the process. Through metaphor, the term also refers to a person who precipitates a process or event, especially without being involved in or changed by the consequences. That's the role of this story's narrator, who observes a freshman girl at a party lusting after the hunk across the room. The narrator has two problems: (1) to bring the two together so that they can fulfill their mutual urges and (2) to do so in such a way as to be able to watch their hot interaction. I'd tell you more, but it will be more fun for you to find out the rest for yourself. The author is posting these as part of an "Alphabet Series." I plan to look for more stories in this series. * "Dutch Treat" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). Let's see. "Dutch Treat" could be about a date with a woman who pays for the condoms. But since the story takes place in Amsterdam, it is probably about a sexual treat the guy receives from a Dutch woman. I was close. It's about a sexual treat the guy DOESN'T receive from a Dutch woman. It takes real skill to make something like that seem sexy! Ratings for "Dutch Treat" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Escalator" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk)."You're fuckin' pathetic, mate, arntcha?" she yelled. I can see how I appeared that way, but I'm not though. I'm really not. What would provoke such an outburst? Actually, not much - just two people passing on the up versus down escalators, one a man dressed for a day's work in the business world who ogles and lusts for the woman approaching him on the other escalator, and the other a young lady dressed in the punk style who decides at the last second to flash the man as they pass. The rest is in the details. Ratings for "Escalator" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 * "French Tickler" by Mark Bastable (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). The narrator has been cycling in the Loire valley and decides to wander into Pinochelle to enjoy the evening air and maybe to see what quaint, provincial nightlife this somnolent region has to offer. Well, he over-imbibes at the "club" and finds himself dreading the walk back to his lodgings, but then a busload of young French women pulls to a stop next to him. Does he want a lift? It is a long way to walk in the dark, n'est-ce pas? He accepts the ride and finds himself packed in tightly in the back of a crowded bus between two people to whom we shall refer euphemistically as Fille Gauche and Fille Droite. I guess this might sound boring - a guy snuggled up between two young French girls whom he can't even see because of the darkness, surrounded by raucous conversation, hands and mouths reciprocally engaging in very private but friendly activities, mind-blowing orgasms; but I certainly enjoyed it. Those Filles really know how to throw an impromptu bacchanal when they put their minds to it! Ooops! The bus has stopped to let him off. Why is everyone so quiet and looking at the back of the bus? And how long have they been watching? Oh well, c'est la vie! The other passengers (Filles Autres) all burst into a spontaneous and sincere round of applause, laughter, and high-fives. Besides having a great idea, this author uses the language very, very well. But where was the tickling? Ratings for "French Tickler" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Glissando" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). The guy has failed in his attempts to get lucky in the Netherlands the night before; but now that he has sobered up, it looks like things might take a definite shift toward the better. At first I thought I was going to read my first story of Strip Yahtzee - a game to which the Dutch are apparently addicted, at least in its non-striptease format; but that lead didn't pan out. Then the guy does get lucky. Real Lucky. The target of his emotions can barely keep her hands off him while they go up the steep stairs to his apartment and he bites her on the ass. When they enter the room and the clothes stop flying, there she is: her feet a good meter apart, braced against the onslaught she momentarily expects; her legs, slim and white, straight and locked, angled towards each other so that the eye is led up along the smooth curving thighs to their apex; and there is her cunt, spread and opened, pink and gleaming, moistening the trim crinkles of its surrounding light brown hair; above that, the asshole, nestled between the impossibly perfect geometries of her buttocks, which are thrust out by the arch of her spine. Her hands are resting on the back of the sofa, and she is looking over her shoulder in the direction of his throbbing erection. Then things get really interesting; but you had better check this one out for yourself. Ratings for "Glissando" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Hotel" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). Tragically, this is the last of the Alphabet Stories currently available from this author. He says he's open to suggestion for new titles. I recommend "Isometrics" and "Jugular" for his next two titles. In "Hotel" the Narrator is an Englishman working in a university town in the Black Forest region of Southern Germany. He strikes up a friendship with the workers at the hotel and develops a particular fondness for the lady who manages the establishment and for one of the beautiful young maids. The manager, it turns out, is seriously interested in bdsm; and since she is naughty, she must be dealt with. The maid simply craves his body. Things could easily get out of hand! And they do. Ratings for "Hotel" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Interpreter" by Mark Bastable (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). The man is sitting at a boring meeting of the European Commission, listening to a boring interpreter translate a boring speech to him. Then there's a pause in the action, and the voice of the boring interpreter is replaced by the sexy voice of a mysterious woman who starts working sexual innuendoes into the translation. The man realizes that he's the only person getting the English feed, and so some hot one-on-one action seems to be in order. This is really creative stuff! Ratings for "Interpreter" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "July 4" by Mark Bastable (markb@aboy.demon.co.uk). The British are civilized people. If you ever visit a Civil War battlefield in the United States, you have to be careful how you use the words "enemy," "loser," and "bad guys." You see, the South lost the Civil War, but they're still pissed about it; and almost all the battlefields are in the South. The British, on the other hand, lost the Revolutionary War; and what do they do? They have fireworks on the 4th of July. When I was in the eighth grade, a hormonally imbalanced boy who was considered sexy, sat down next to me at lunch and asked me, "Do they have a 4th of July in England?" Sexy boys did not usually talk to me, and so I was taken aback. I tried to think quickly, but all I could manage was the notion that since the British had LOST the war that the 4th of July seemed to have started, then they'd have to be damned fools to celebrate it; and I told him so. "Well what do they do, then?" he answered. "Go straight from the 3rd to the 5th?" He laughed uproariously. Still thinking that this joke had to have something to do with sex, I was thoroughly confused. This review may seem disjointed, but that's because so is this story. All that matters is light and sound. The rest is just details. That's the conclusion the narrator drew when he acted as a beard for his lesbian friend at a 4th of July party at the American Embassy in Grosvenor Square and an unknown assailant from behind pulled his dick out of his pants while he fondled her clit and the fireworks exploded overhead. The important thing to remember is when a Brit says he's pissed, it means he's drunk. When an American is pissed, he's mad. Thus, the saying, "'Tis better to be pissed off than pissed on" is more likely to be meaningful to an American than to our friends across the Pond. Ratings for "July 4" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ .../assm/faq.html> /