Message-ID: <5188eli$9710271004@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: Celeste801@aol.com Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 228 - Oct 25 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <971026144205_-426477619@mrin44.mail.aol.com> X-Is-Review: yes Celestial Reviews 228 - October 25, 1997 Note: Since many of our stories make an issue out of breast size, I thought the following information might be helpful: Big Busted Women... ..can get a taxi on the worst days ..have a neat place to carry spare change ..have always been the center of the arts (art) ..make jogging a spectator sport ..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub ..have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) ..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie ..can always carry a little extra ..always float better ..know where to look first for lost earrings ..rarely lack for a slow dance partner ..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner Small Busted Women... ..don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public ..always look younger ..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap ..can always see their toes and shoes ..can sleep on their stomachs ..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars ..know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts ..know that everything more than a mouthful is wasted ..can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle ..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out Second note: People on a.s.s.d. can pick on my anonymous reviewers all they want, but some of them write pretty good reviews. One of them is named Tipper and has to remain anonymous because her really boring husband has threatened to fuck her in the ass if she embarrasses him any further. I think it's understandable why she can't use her "real" pseudonym. Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste "Proclivities" by Oscar Paco (threesome) 10, 10, 10 "Redeye, Sanford" by DJ (mile-high sex) 10, 10, 10 "My Down Fall" by Unknown Author (blackmail & pedophilia) 6, 8, 4 "Enigma in the Mirror" by Eli the Bearded (sci fi fairy tale sex) 9.5, 9, 9 "Another Elevator Story" by Linda (quickie in a slow elevator) 9, 8, 8 Guest Reviews: "Oblivion Ray's Tales Numer One" by H.D. Meister (romance) 6, 4, 4 "The New Orleans" by Oscar Paco (night at a dancing club) 9, 5, 4 "Roommates" by The Wax Tadpole (mind control) 4, 5, 2 "BJ" by Biscayne (futuristic sex) 9, 5, 4 "Hell Hath No Fury" by Darkside (transgender) 9, 10, 10 Reposted Reviews: * "Foretaste" by Uther Pendragon (romance) 10, 10, 10 * "DNA" by Stephanie (Transgender) 10, 10, 10 * "DNA II" by Stephanie (sci-fi transgender) 10, 10, 10 * "Redeye" by Tom Bombadil (semi-public sex) 10, 10, 10 "Proclivities" by Oscar Paco (OscarPaco@aol.com). The woman has had a bad relationship, has broken up, and is about to move from the East to the West Coast of the United States to start a new life. As a going-away present her closest friend springs on her the "surprise" gift of an all-nighter with herself and her husband. At first the woman turns this down, then she discovers her inner bisexual self. The sex is very hot and heavy. Ratings for "Proclivities" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Redeye, Sanford" by DJ (103666.3074@compuserve.com). This story is a follow-up to Tom Bombadil's "Redeye." I am reposting that review with the hope that Tom will repost that story. Although the present story can stand on its own, I suggest reading "Redeye" first, especially since the earlier story is only 170 words long. The present story is 2100 words longer than the original "Redeye." It contains several airborn orgasms. It also suggests the potential for "Redeye, The Series." It's an excellent story, but I can't say much more about it without blowing the plot for you. Ratings for "Redeye, Sanford" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "My Down Fall" by Unknown Author. This is a story about how a church's youth minister first gets seduced by his female coworker and then is blackmailed by her daughters into having frequent sex with them. The sex with the kids isn't full penetration activity - "just" recurrent hand- and blowjobs. Kids have to learn somewhere, and it might as well be from the kindly married man who teaches them religion - or so the theory goes. So unless you're already fascinated by the idea of an uninhibited 13-year-old girl being nurtured toward her budding nymphomania, don't bother with this story. Even if you are interested, you'll be disappointed, because the story is obviously just the beginning of a multiple-part story; but you don't find that out until the very end of this installment. And at that point I wasn't really interested in looking for any more of it. Ratings for "My Down Fall" Athena (technical quality): 6 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4 "Enigma in the Mirror" by Eli the Bearded (usenet-tag@qz.little-neck.ny.us). This is a story about a young lad who becomes romantically attracted to a lovely female creature who lives in his mirror. This notion about mirrors is not unique to Eli. In one of Kurt Vonnegut's novels that author suggests that mirrors are where separate universes intersect. Hence Vonnegut refers to mirrors as "leaks"; and the phrase "take a leak" means to steal a mirror. But I digress. This story not quite make the top of my chart. First, there were too many usage and spelling errors. Actually, these erorrs were not numerous; rather, the problem was that the author invented some words on purpose and then accidentally screwed up on others. My feeling is that authors who invent a special language have a special responsibility when that novel language intersects with ordinary language; otherwise, readers think the story is introducing a new term, when it's really only a casual misspelling of an ordinary term. Second, the story was just a little too quaint to keep me interested. However, these are minor problems. If you'd like to read an interesting, quaint love story about a boy and his alien, this one may be for you. Ratings for "Enigma in the Mirror" Athena (technical quality): 9.5 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Another Elevator Story" by Linda (lindajean@stealthmail.com). This is another tale of sex between strangers on an elevator. It seems that even the term "quickie" would fail to describe the haste necessary to accomplish mutual climaxes within a 14-floor ride on the elevator (or lift, as Bronwen would prefer); but the narrator points out that the machinery seems to be moving slowly during this episode. This is by no means the worst elevator sex story I have read. That distinction belongs to "Elevator Rape" by Dark Dreamer, which received ratings of 2, 1, 1. However, two better implementions of this fanatasy are "One of Those Days?" by Dulcinea and Mike Hunt's "Wet T-Shirt Contest," which somehow winds up in an elevator orgy. Ratings for "Another Elevator Story" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 "Oblivion Ray's Tales Numer One" by H.D. Meister (dez187lm@hotmail.com). Guest Review by DG. One thing that normally turns me off in a story is overwriting, by which I mean anything from overly melodramatic words and metaphors to broadly-drawn stereotypical characters. This story contains so many examples that it actually crosses the line and becomes entertaining and humorous in a way that the author didn't intend. Sabina is an attractive woman who, for unexplained reasons, hasn't dated for three years. Her boss tells her to give a building tour to a guy named Ray. When Ray shows up, Sabina realizes at once that he's different from all the other boring suits she works with. Maybe it's his black clothes and long pony tail. Or his posture, which "was not perfect, yet it spoke loudly of the raw strength he possessed." Anyway, they hit it off. Eventually she gets invited over to his place, and that's when the strange metaphors and descriptions really start to fly. Read the description of Ray's house, and then see if you can picture it in your mind's eye: "It was far enough from the city to have a touch of cozy about it, but it also had a hardness which was there if one could see it. It was three stories high and sported a bark blue siding material. The yard was well kept, and the trees looked healthy and content. Yet even they had something akin to a darkness about them." If you like the outside, you'll love the inside. After some flirting and foreplay, which includes an expert massage from Ray, Sabina starts to get turned on. Naturally, this causes "her cunt to unleash a torrent of its nectar into her satin panties." Instead of running to get a mop, Ray strips down and makes quite an impression of his own: "She cast her gaze downward, and settled it upon what she would come the call the mother of all dicks. It was easily eight inches long, and appeared to be close to two inches thick. It hung from his loins, yet even then she knew not to judge. It was the cock of a man: strong and confident in its abilities. There was no need for it to stand straight, bolstering itself with false bravado, for it knew full well its abilities... and limitations." Not only does Ray's cock have a becoming modesty, it's also yummy: "He had a different taste than the cocks she could remember. They tasted of animal musk; Ray tasted of man, with a light dusting of lust added to enhance its already sublime flavor." As it turns out, Ray's cock has no need to be modest - it really delivers the goods. He fucks Sabina like a madman and then, when he finally ejaculates, "It was as if a great dragon had inhaled, then spewed white flame from its giant maw." Ouch - sounds like Ray needs to visit the clinic. Enough said. This story reads like it was written by a Harlequin Romance writer on LSD. I'm actually recommending it to anyone who needs a good laugh. Ratings for "Oblivion, Ray's Tales Numer One" (Yes, there's a typo in the title) Athena (technical quality): 6 Venus (plot & character): 4 DG (appeal to reviewer): 4 (on its merits) 10 (as unintended humor) "The New Orleans" by Oscar Paco (OscarPaco@aol.com). Guest review by Dart. Lene and Ganzalo are married, but their marriage has hit a rocky stretch of road. Lene's in a funk, and even gives her husband the cold shoulder when he attempts talking with her. This behavior persists for several days, and, needless to say, Ganzalo is becoming a little stressed by the situation. Then one Saturday, Lene thinks she has the solution. They'll go dancing. Despite his not liking to dance, Ganzalo agrees because he's a very understanding husband, and he hopes it will help in lifting Lene out of her funk. On the way to the New Orleans, a jazz and blues club, Ganzalo admires Lene's provocative dress, but, because of her current moodiness, declines to discuss with her her intentions for the evening. At the club, Lene quite understandably wants to dance. Alas, Ganzalo declines her request to dance, and so, with a touch of revenge in her soul, Lene begins to dance alone. She's an excellent dancer, graceful and sensuous. She attracts attention, especially Stephen's attention. They start dancing together. It's a pretty steamy dance. I needn't go further, except to say that everyone's pleased with the evening's outcome. And hopefully, Lene's out of her funk. I liked this story, but a few passes through the hands of one of Celeste's proofreaders might have made it a much better story. The technical quality would have been improved, even though it's not especially bad as it is, just enough to occasionally make its presence felt. The plot was quite good, except for a detail of Lene's behavior at the conclusion of her dance with Stephen, but the characters never quite came to life for me. This was too bad, because I think the characters were there, just below the surface. A few more sentences here and there could have fleshed them out. Once again, one of Celeste's proofreaders could have helped. Ratings for "The New Orleans" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 7 Dart (appeal to reviewer): 7 "Roommates" by The Wax Tadpole (wax_tadpole@hotmail.com). Guest review by Sven the Elder. I have this difficulty you see. Celeste always phrases her requests for 'help' with reviews so nicely. It's the "As usual, if for any reason you don't want to review this story, just say so.", that makes me nerve myself not to refuse. In fact the only one I have turned down was because I knew the author concerned, and, unlike our good Celeste, I didn't trust myself to be totally objective. Which brings me back to this story - it uses Mind Control in the form of hypnotism. This is not one of the story genre's I would normally read, but I figure that Celeste can give it a go, therefore I ought to as well. In the past I have reviewed at least one story that I would otherwise not have read. I'm not ashamed to admit I enjoyed it; perhaps there is a message there for reading things we 'think' we do not like. Perhaps - I still don't like to be 'squicked'! Wax Tadpole admits in his introduction for the reviewer that this is his first story, - "please be gentle". Well I'll try, 'John'. But it's going to be a little difficult. One of our other very good authors pointed out recently in a very good discussion on a.s.s.d (OK I admit I only lurked!) that a storyteller has some obligations towards his readers. Poor grammar, sentence construction, and an obvious need to be otherwise 'proofread' come pretty high on the list, but one of the chief requirements is that a story should be able to either, be 'believable' or, 'suspend belief in a believable way'. Sadly this story does not meet those obligations. I wanted to enjoy this story. This is not a good thing for a reviewer to admit, but I don't like giving poor reviews. The story revolves around hypnotism. The plot is a little thin, and the mind control and descriptions don't ring true. Boy is encouraged to hypnotise one of the two girl roommates; Surprise! Surprise! Both succumb, both allow themselves to be 'molested' against their will, neither remembers a thing. Yes of course. But I think not - it comes across as a juvenile fantasy and fails to excite or interest. Sorry it left me quite cold and in the end I just skimmed through. At the very least please subject it to the proofreading and help service that Celeste offers. It might yet work, but not as it stands. Ratings for "Roommates" Technical quality: 4 Plot & character: 5 (there are possibilities there) Sven (appeal to reviewer): 2 "BJ" by Biscayne (Biscayne@ix.netcom.com). Guest review by Kim. Well, here we are all set to go on my 22nd review. Celeste has sent me a new author to read, no less. Since he's a virgin, I guess I should go easy. Wouldn't want to put him off this for life, it's such an important time of progress and nurturing. Nah, screw that... I hated the story. There, that's a surprise opening, for me at least. I'm not normally quite so vituperative this early on in a review. This purports to be a prolog to a full blown novel, supposedly waiting in the wings to launch upon an unsuspecting public. I soon started to have my misgivings as I read the wonderfully pompous introduction. It reminded me of me. Set in a future high-tech wizzy world, it tells the story of BJ, a Chief Exec of a sex empire. She gets home from a long day's orgying and listens to her messages. They tell her another impending orgy is scheduled for later that evening at her house. In the meantime BJ reminisces about the sex she had today with one of her personal assistants, Kelly - a submissive who wishes to learn how to have good lesbian sex, since so far she has been taught only how to have heterosexual sex by her brutish boyfriend and his friends. Long, tedious descriptions of degradation and apparent pleasure follow. Endless references to anal sex and the desire for pain litter the proceedings. After that's all finished we return to BJ contemplating her past, and indeed the recent general history of America. This slow, laborious, and ridiculously unlikely future history grinds the story to an abrupt close - presumably to be continued in the next part of the novel. So, to the conclusion. An interesting future world has been created, but it's peopled by the most robotic of characters I've had the misfortune to come across in a long time. None of them has any soul, nor humanity, nor believability. Now it might be that this is precisely what the author intended. To create a race of automatons living in an artificial world. Unfortunately I suspect he's just not very good at creating believable characters. Also the whole thing is shot through with the most unpleasant misogyny. It's hard to read without wincing. I think the story can best be summed up by one of its own lines: "The girl had been pretty good for being a novice, but a bit too mechanical" Ratings for "BJ" by Biscayne@ix.netcom.com Athena (technical quality): 9 (It was at least readable, even if I didn't like what I was reading) Venus (plot & character): 5 (How it's possible to make S&M orgies so dull is amazing) Kim (appeal to reviewer): 4 (Misogyny gone berserk) "Hell Hath No Fury" (a complete, three part novel, long), by Darkside. (Darkside@nym.alias.net). {The following guest review of Part One was written by Green Onions, who has posted several stories on this newsgroup. (This review was posted in Celestial Reviews 196, July 5 1997) See Vickie Tern below for how Part One relates to the whole novel as finally completed.} * "Hell Hath No Fury" [novella] by Darkside. A driver has a flat tire on a lonely road. Spare to change? Sorry, none in the trunk. Night falls on the man without a plan. The stars blink brightly in the clear black sky as his chances of surviving begin to flicker out. Snow appears. Lost and alone, he waits for the end of his life in the white darkness. And yet when all optimism seems to have faded into the freezing wilderness there emerges (from behind a hidden chorus of weeping violins) a vision of hope that flies gracefully across the horizon of his dimming consciousness, singing its mystical song, ready to deftly snatch the hapless wayfarer from the drooling unflossed Jaws of Death. Is it a bird? A plane? An optical illusion? No--it's Florence Nightingale: _after_ she graduated from medical school. And so not a moment too soon is the Grim Reaper's task interrupted by the talents of a skilled, sensitive, tall, brilliant, blue-eyed, lithe busty rich young female physician with near-perfect abs. She first asks the nurse to check his insurance. Then she saves his life. And so the dream continues. They fall for each other; he proposes to her. Their engagement progresses like clockwork to the final misty moment as family, friends, and myriad onlookers gather to witness the anticipated instant when he will place the golden ring of their sacred unity upon her willing finger. It seems that all is right with the world. Surely they will love out their lives in an era of peace, happiness, hot sex, low taxes, and white picket fences. Well, as one of Douglas Adam's characters once said in _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_: "Sorry, wrong universe!" As the sun beats down on the expectant crowd he explains that he does not love her and cannot marry her. Her parents are glaring hatefully, she is sobbing pitifully and he is shrugging philosophically. Better luck next time. Or better sense, perhaps. Because the Doctor was a dream and he needs someone real. Not a vision but a spouse. Not a fantasy, but flesh and soul. And after two long years he finds and marries her with little hesitation. The second time is indeed the charm--even if her stomach isn't quite as flat, she is still young and attractive, affectionate, smart, tall and slim. But what of his first love, of the brilliant blue-eyed shapely svelte angel of the steel table who had saved his life, savored his love, and was jilted--indeed brutally humiliated--in front of her friends and family? Hell, if you thought biblical characters tend to suffer more than others for spurning the affections of the smooth-faced gender, read this story and think again! And what could be a more fitting punishment for an ungrateful insensitive, thoughtless and callously cruel male jerk than to be forced to suffer the indignities of _becoming_ a woman? His fate will not be limited to the experience of being in a female body, but will also include the transformation of his mind. Yes, She will have her way with him. She will make his dream into her nightmare. And in more than one respect. This is not an ordinary TG (trans-gender) piece, nor is it a classic sex story or a typical tale of revenge, mystery--yes there is a murder--cumuppance (gee, did I misspell that?), or even an ironic, slightly humorous psychological sci-fi erotic thriller. It's all of those bound together with a tight plot and topped off with a tempting smorgasbord of diverse sexual blandishments. In case you thought I might be blowing my load prematurely, I should also point out that this piece could be even better if the author diverged from some typical tendencies of erotica and romance writers (including most a.s.s. contributors). For starters I might occasionally prefer to see characters in longer stories developed with a third dimension--the sorts of accents, nuances, habits, hobbies, mannerisms, peculiarities and idiosyncrasies that we typically observe in real people. Such details can often be worked into plots with little effort. While Darkside's prose is better than most, I also sometimes wish a.s.s. writers would pause more often to allow their readers to "smell the roses" (or hear the cadences) of their phrases and the rhythm of their sentences. Words can do more than convey information. And although I am often at odds with the well-worshipped deity who is hosting this review, she and I agree on one thing: maybe there is room for protagonists whose bodies are not quite so heavenly. If one goal of erotica is to help us appreciate love and sexuality, then perhaps a.s.s. authors could provide us with a few (especially female) characters now and then who just happen to fall short of certain popular physical ideals. Yet I quibble . . . this is an _excellent_ novella. Read it. Venus (plot & character): 10 Athena (technical quality): 10 Green Onions (appeal to reviewer): 10 Introductory comment on the whole novel as now posted, by Vickie Tern: This is one of the more remarkable productions, I think, of net fiction in general and TG fiction in particular. It's an ambitious full-scale novel, with a complex plot, the narrative evolving for the reader out of various characters' distinctive points of view -- their so-called "first person" narratives. These commentaries and reports overlap and conflict with each other, leaving the reader to construct what is *really* happening as if the story were a gigantic mosaic made up of many pieces, each partial, some bewildered, many just plain wrong. Yet while individual characters may be variously misled and the reader with them, the story is never really confusing. Gradually and inexorably, as with any good detective-fantasy-mystery story, the truth emerges. The original deceptions are all part of a deliberate plot schemed by a brilliant woman scientist overwhelmed by a desire to avenge herself on a fiance who has spurned her, and they are multiplied by other characters with schemes of their own. They're further multiplied because the scientist has found ways to alter human beings, to transform them physically -- but not mentally -- into replicas of each other, so characters may not be perfectly certain, at a given moment, whether the person with them is an original or a more malevolent facsimile. This makes for considerable irony and suspense, a story taking place in a world of mirror images where nothing may be what it seems. Yet for the reader, what is happening is always clear - if not accurate -- and how a character feels and thinks about it is always what the reader knows first of all. So there's a considerable range of experience explored here, and characters who vary from bright and brassy to solemn and pompous. There is less eroticism than one might expect, but the story does crucially involve transgendered transformations and the pointed revenge of a woman scorned in love, so readers of A.S.S. won't feel disappointed. In short, in plain language, for a variety of reasons this is a good read. Most extraordinary perhaps is that this novel is a first production of a new and talented writer, one with an special gift for dialogue that sounds spoken by real people and narrative that remains economical -- there is nothing arbitrary or dithering, padded or merely amusing filling out the novel's length. It's long because it needs to be. And it's entirely the author's. At early stages I advised on routine matters like narrative format, queried conceivable contradictions, and as the story developed and his narrative strategy came clear, provided early comment. The novel's intricate plan was hatched entirely inside the author's imagination from the start, so there was little for me to do as various parts were written other than to encourage him to keep going, announce what I thought was happening and be told "No, wait, you'll see!" What *was* happening then always turned out to be both more surprising and yet more inevitable than I'd thought. That made it a fun read too. So, this is an intricate narrative involving much deception and double-dealing, told by characters who don't themselves necessarily know what is really happening as they speak. It is best enjoyed by being read in the order intended, if at all possible with no episodes skipped. I suggest you assemble it first, then plunge into its dark transmogrifications. Part One, posted June 1997, is called "Hell Hath No Fury" and totals altogether about 124k. It sets out the first baffling consequence of the diabolical plot, as it is experienced by the main characters. (Celestial Reviews 196 July 5, 1997, review by Green Onions reprinted above) Part Two, just posted, is called "The Birth of Nemesis" and is about 98k. It presents some of the antecedent action to Part One, as a "Prequel," making clearer that things in Part One were not at all what they seemed (nor even some things in Part Two). Mostly it explains how things in Part One came to pass. Part Three, just posted, is called "Kat O' Nine Tales" and is nearly 500k long. It continues the story from where Parts One and Two left it, and is told altogether from the alternating points of view of each of the participants. By the end of Part Three you will finally know what has *really* been happening in Parts One and Two -- and Three -- and its outcome. And you will have read an absorbing sci-fi-mystery-suspense-thriller with some memorable moments. The author (Darkside@nym.alias.net) already has another novel in mind, and with the right encouragement will share it with us. The right encouragement comes in the form of e-mail letting him know what you really think of this. He can handle and learn from negative comment, so don't stint. Of course, praise is never inappropriate. :-) Ratings for "Hell Hath No Fury" (Complete Novel) Athena (technical quality): 9 (picky picky, but needs one last utterly exhausting edit) Venus (plot and character): 10 (lots of both) Tern (overall appeal): 10 (gripping, not sexy) The complete novel can be found at http://www.nifty.org/nifty/transgender under Magic-SciFi or Sapphire's website at http://www1.mhv.net/sapphire or to go right to it http://www1.mhv.net/sapphire/zip/furytril.zip * "Foretaste" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). Bob and Jeanette are continuing with their journey through life. This story is heavily laced with the realities of existence. They have partially overcome their financial problems, but now they are faced with the decision of deferring Jeanette's education even longer while they have a baby and begin to raise a family. Their sex life continues to be a unitive force in their lives. Some activities they have found wanting and have discarded, and some they have found wanton and have retained them. Here's a sex-related word that appears in this story for probably the first time ever on this newsgroup: "blastula", as in, "We had entered into another relationship. Our child was not yet born, not even a fetus, but -- at most -- a blastula." Just thought you might like to know. Ratings for "Foretaste" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "DNA" by Stephanie. (Reposted by who@why.not). About every two weeks I get an e-mail message from someone saying, "I know you don't like TG stories, but would you mind reviewing this one?" Actually, my record with TG stories is pretty good: I think I've read six of them and rated all of them 8 or better. The reason I don't review more of them is simply a matter of time: there are a lot of other stories that I need to read and review. In addition, the good TG stories that I've read have been rather long - but worthwhile. What appeals to me most about these stories is that they tend to be clever: they examine interesting "what if" possibilities in creative ways. "DNA," like several other TG stories explores the question, "What would it be like if a man were suddenly transposed into a woman's body?" These role-reversal stories almost always look at how a guy (or girl) feels when he/she is forced to deal with events from the perspective of the previously opposite gender. This is fun, but the basic plot has been tried many times, and it could become boring. What seems to make the idea persist is that authors look for creative complications to interject into the plot. This story has several creative ideas. At the beginning of the story the young man gets turned into a clone of his female boss's beautiful teenage niece by a genetically engineered virus that alters the recipient's DNA. The first interesting complication is that when the boss needs someone to look after the guy/girl while she's away from the house, the only eligible candidate is the niece herself. So we have the guy/girl being looked after by a girl who is essentially his/her genetic twin. Next the guy/girl gets seduced by the boss's boyfriend. Not too unusual so far - but suddenly it becomes apparent that the virus can be sexually transmitted, and so the boyfriend starts to mutate into another clone of the niece. "Fortunately," the mad scientist manages to inject a different strand of DNA into her soon-to-be-former boyfriend. This terminates his transformation midway - so this guy/girl has the upper body of a woman and the lower body of a man, but a different man than his original self. (Incidentally, all intellectual powers seem to remain those of the original owners, although emotions tend to shift with the body parts.) Interestingly, I found several points in this story when a character became angry and could have shouted to someone else, "You can just go and fuck yourself!" This could be taken as a literal rather than metaphorical statement - in more ways than one. You'll have to read the story to figure out what I'm talking about. One unrealistic element is that when Julie gets transformed to Jim, her brain continues to reside in her head, instead of where it resides in most men. If, like most Americans, you had a really bad biology course in high school, you will have the good fortune of thinking that the biological aspects of the story are at least remotely realistic. On the other hand, if you are like most a.s.s. readers (intellectually as well as sexually acute and inclined to be skeptical about simplistic ideas) or went to school in New Zealand, you'll realize that even if viruses and DNA worked the way they do in this story, the rest of the human body wouldn't. Don't let that bother you. Consider the story to be science fiction, and know only what the author wants you to know. Perhaps I'm making this sound too complex - almost silly. That's the value of a story like this - it IS silly, but silly in a very clever way. I'm not going to tell you any more about the plot. Read it yourself. I'm pretty sure the virus cannot be transmitted through the Internet - except for AOL users using Windows 95. In that case, however, you already have problems that are much more serious than having your gender changed. Ratings for "DNA" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "DNA II" by Stephanie (an266891@anon.penet.fi). This is a sequel to Stephanie's "DNA," to which I gave very favorable ratings several months ago. The present story can stand alone, but it is easier to understand and enjoy if you have read the previous story. In particular, some of the explanations at the end of the story may be easier to grasp if you have read "DNA I." Stephanie plans to repost both stories soon. As "DNA II" begins, Paul has been changed into a half-male, half-female person by his girlfriend Anne, a genetic engineer who became upset at Paul for running around with other women. Paul's objective is to return to his original body, and while pursuing this goal he is faced with several interesting obstacles. The story runs parallel to many popular, non-sexual, science fiction stories. For example, the Incredible Hulk possesses unusual powers but wants to rid himself of those powers, and in his attempts to return to normal he encounters new problems in each episode. Paul's situation is similar to the Hulk's, but his problems center on sexual situations - giving head to a cop to avoid a traffic arrest, falling in love with his young female roommate, etc. All of this takes place against a background of scientific information that is probably impossible - but which is realistic enough to non-scientists like myself to make it all seem plausible. The story is not a simple sexual odyssey; rather Paul's problems and adventures are set in the context of a police vs. drug peddler drama. The villains are selling drugs; Paul stumbles into them; and the bad guys try to use the DNA power to transform people from one body to another in order to further their evil purposes. Paul gets caught up with these criminals, and other people have their genders switched. Paul's goal is to get out of this mess and to see to it that the bad guys get their comeuppance. I won't spoil the story for you by telling you all the details. It's a good story, and you should read it for yourself. {"DNA III" is scheduled for release some time next year.} Ratings for "DNA II" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 * "Redeye" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com). This author has decided that since Deirdre has stopped writing stories, he'll try to take over for her. To accomplish this, he has decided to write very short stories in which the narrator routinely discloses absolutely astonishing sexual behaviors that will throw the reader for a loop. However, "Redeye" is not a Deirdre story, nor is it even Sherwood Anderson. This story suggests that this author is the reincarnation of Saki (H.H. Munro)! Look that one up in your Funk and Wagnalls! Even though it will take you longer to find and download this story than it will take to read it, it's a very good story. Ratings for "Redeye" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ .../assm/faq.html> /