Message-ID: <438eli9704011039@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: From: Celeste801@aol.com Subject: Celeste's Top Stories - March 1997 Celeste's Top 15 Stories - March 1997 Note: Since many readers would like to read the top stories for each month, I would appreciate it if authors would repost as many of these stories as possible. You may wish to repost the stories in alt.sex.stories.moderated, as well as in alt.sex.stories. If you wish, you can label them as Celeste's #x for March: Name of Story. Second Note: I have had great success finding these stories on the World Wide Web by using the Deja News Server (www.dejanews.com) and the service at www.reference.com. You can even find past issues of my reviews through these services. - Celeste Here's this month's list: 1. "Trip" by Plainman 2. "The Real McCoys" by Shelby Bush 3. "Sweet Home Chicago" by Gregarious 4. "When Knighthood Was in Flower and Maidens Lost Their Heads" by Unknown Author. 5. "JayCee" by Vickie Tern 6. "All we like Sheep" by MC Woodsmoke. 7. "The Whipping Post" by Delta 8. "Encounter in Kellen County" by Fred Clarke 9. "Seinfeld: Elaine on the Internet/Pacific Rim-Job" by Unknown Author. 10. "A Little Afternoon Fun" by Dulcinea 11. "A Cousin's Lips" by Mike Hunt 12. "Seduction of the Beloved" by Summer's Rose 13. "Third Cave" by Anonymous. 14. "Night" by Mark Aster 15. "Frisking The Cat" by Tooshoes (superhero sex) 10,10,10 Here are the original reviews in alphabetical order: "All we like Sheep" by MC Woodsmoke. My initial reaction to this story was perplexity at its title. What in the world does it mean? I concluded that it was probably a typographical error. The author either meant to say "We Are All Like Sheep" - or maybe it was the more bestial "We All Like Sheep." Actually, the title is stated exactly as the author intended it. You'll have to read the story to find out what it means. Hint: It's part of a phrase that you'll probably recognize. Anyway, the hero of this story is that ubiquitous denizen of a.s.s.: the electronics genius who knows how to use technology for mind control. This particular hero has been smitten by the lovely lady at work who has no time for sex; she just reads her bible and performs church work with her youth group. A few weeks with our hero's magic mind control tape takes care of that. She becomes a hot little sex kitten that does her creator proud - her new creator, not the old one, who may have preferred her to keep up the work with the youth group. Omigod! The youth group! Angie was listening to the subliminal tape while she was working with two of the girls from the youth group; that means the kids might have heard it too! He had planned to seduce Angie, but suddenly Stacy and Kayla seemed primed and ready to go. {I'm not sure exactly how state and federal law deal with the accidental exposure of minors to subliminal seduction. I guess it would depend on whether one could get the judge and jury to listen to the tape.} An odd thing about mind control is that it has the capacity within a few sessions to make people more enthusiastic devotees of an activity than they would be had they participated in that activity happily for several years. For example, I myself have enjoyed cock sucking for over 20 years. In a sense, my mind has been programmed to enjoy it, much like Angie in this story. Yet when I am participating in that activity I retain control over my brain and can do creative things (like chew gum, think, and even stop if the performance contradicts an important value system) while still maintaining my enthusiasm for the activity. This is a long way of saying that sometimes mind control stories become a bit simplistic. Nevertheless, aside from some grammatical flaws, the present story is highly creative and well worth reading. "A Cousin's Lips" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNTAaol.com). You've heard the expression "kissin' cousins"? Well, these kids go a little beyond that stage. The narrator's cousin gave him his first blowjob. It all happened down at a swimmin' quarry in North Dakota. He was 15 and she was 16 and everybody was naked. Imagine that: a nude beach on the Riviera of North Dakota. Actually, these are clean cut kids from the American Midwest, just swimming and having fun. And so when a guy happens to be sitting naked on a rock that's just below the surface in the middle of the quarry with his beautiful cousin's face just a few inches from that cock - well, if that guy gets a egregious hard-on, a girl would almost HAVE to do something to make the hard-on go away so that the other kids won't think he's strange or something when he gets out of the water. You know what I mean? And so Annette helps Mikey, and all's well that ends well. That's the way it COULD have happened, but it doesn't. You'll have to read the story yourself for the real version. An Interesting Typo Award goes to this story for the "public hair" between Annette's legs. Hmmm.... since they were skinny-dipping at the time, maybe the term was more appropriate than the intended "pubic" variety. "Encounter in Kellen County" by Fred Clarke (THC repost). The boy's family has moved to a remote Amish community, and he figures he's in for some dry days. But then he meets Sarah, a liberal girl who doesn't subscribe to quite all the Amish customs. They have some great times together before he goes away to college. I know I have promised to defend nuns and the Amish in my reviews, but this girl seems healthy and requires no defense. It was a sexy story. "Frisking The Cat" by Tooshoes (tooshoes@concentric.net). Our story begins with Supergirl feeling lonely and horny on a late-night subway train. She has group sex with some strangers on the train; but when they depart, she realizes that they have taken her purse, which contains her superhero uniform. After this introduction we learn that Supergirl is having trouble making ends meet in her dual identity persona. Since she majored in Liberal Arts, she can't get a good job; but her platonic acquaintance, Andrew, hires her as a sort of roving agent for the SSA (Superhero Surveillance Agency). He first assignment is to apprehend Catwoman, a cat burglar who doubles as a sort of Robin Hood vigilante. Oh, there are a few details I forgot to mention - Supergirl has a libido that won't quit. She also is a transmitter (but not a receiver) of ESP messages. And Catwoman has this problem of getting to the point of a huge orgasm and then just quitting. Somehow all this comes together into an interesting plot. Incidentally, the Supergirl in this story is not to be confused with the one in "Supergirl and X" by MD James, which was written with the most up-to-date comic-book readers in mind and included numerous inside references. The present Supergirl is the one that Ann Douglas also has written about. This one appeared in the older DC Comics but was killed off several years ago and was replaced by the newer Supergirl with very different powers. Just thought you'd like to know that. "JayCee" by Vickie Tern (VickieTern@AOL.COM). When she was very young, JayCee had wished she were a boy, because boys had all the fun; but as she grew into adolescence she discovered that girls had it made, because they could get boys to worship them and do almost anything to please them. This is a restatement of the basic femdom philosophy that pervades most of this author's stories, including this one. This story has several fascinating subplots, but the main plot involves the next-door neighbor Jane, who is turning her son Marion into a girl, who will eventually become Marianne. This is the sort of thing that inspires JayCee, and she becomes an eager co-conspirator. JayCee gets paid for her assistance, and Marianne even likes it. As I read this story, I felt that it was a good one; but what was missing was the element of surprise that Vickie Tern always includes in her stories. This one was simply about a boy who wanted to become a girl and who did, in the end, become a stunningly beautiful and sexy girl. Surprise! That's not the way it turns out after all. This week's issue of Time Magazine includes a transgender article entitled "The Boy Without a Penis." It describes a boy whose penis became mangled at a very young age, and so his parents had him surgically altered and made a serious attempt to raise him as a girl. It turns out that this strategy was disastrously ineffective: the guy eventually had another operation and is now a happily married man raising a family of adopted children. One conclusion would be to say that this factual article suggests that stories like the present one are merely exercises in fantasy - that it is highly improbable that gender can be altered as easily as many TG stories suggest. Of course, the other conclusion would be that the people who attempted the real-life transformation should have read some of these TG stories first, so that they could have done it right! "A Little Afternoon Fun" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com). On this newsgroup the term " water sports" usually refers to urination as part of sexual activities. With regard to this story I use the term to refer to the use of a squirt gun filled with ice water to tease a husband and a bucket of water to douse the offender and render her the moral equivalent of a wet-tee-shirt contest winner. This is a very, very exciting bit of sexy flirtation. "Night" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). This author has finally returned to his familiar " My Friends the Allens" series. In this episode Our Hero and Julie go for a walk in the park, while Pat sleeps with the twins. In the park they notice the many lights in the surrounding apartments and speculate about what the people in those apartments might be doing. Julie describes the imagined sexual activities of one couple while Our Hero makes love to her. As usual, this author does an excellent job of blending two simultaneous love scenes into one story. "The Real McCoys" by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com). Grandpappy Amos (played by Walter Brennan with a limp) has to go into town "to get himself a hoe." The hoe's name is Carmelita. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Little Luke has been peeping into his sister Hassie's bedroom to watch her get dressed; but now he's in deep shit, because she has caught him in the act. Out in the barn, Pepino and Maria are going at it like bunnies in heat in a secret compartment under bales of hay. That leaves Luke and Kate, doing what newlyweds are supposed to do. This episode's sitcom problems are easily resolved. Hassie teaches Little Luke to do it with no hands. Pepino (who looks a little like an organ grinder) introduces Maria to El Grande. Hassie stops calling Little Luke little. Somebody somewhere says, "Fuck me, senor!" while someone somewhere else watches Luke and Kate do what newlyweds do. Sharing each others' sorrows, Enjoyin' each others' joys. Like all other fam'lies they quarrel and fuss But it ain't never serious, With Grandpappy Amos and the girls and the boys Of the family known as the real McCoys. "Seduction of the Beloved" by Summer's Rose (SumersRose@aol.com). There's really not much to this plot, just a short but vivid focus on a woman who binds her husband's hands and teases him to the point of ecstasy, and then releases him in time for him to drive her over the edge as well. Normally I don't like the second person (you) narrative. When somebody calls the reader "you," I think I should be able to identify with that person; yet I identify with the "I" person in this story. But this little vignette is otherwise so hot that I'll forgive this one little peculiarity. "Seinfeld: Elaine on the Internet/Pacific Rim-Job" by Unknown Author. This one was listed simply seinfeld.txt with no author. It's a well-done "script" for the Seinfeld TV show. Jerry, George, and Kramer have been talking about sex on the Internet when they discover that Elaine needs to learn how to give blow jobs in order to accompany her boss on a trip to Thailand. By coincidence the guys have just uploaded to the Internet all 36 of Jerry's pictures of Elaine giving him a blowjob. By further coincidence Elaine's boss almost immediately finds the pictures and asks Elaine to accompany him on the trip, since her newly identified skills can help him get through customs. Unfortunately, Elaine is really not good at giving head, and so she has to enlist the aid of all her friends in order to develop her oral and anal skills. This is an excellent parody! "Sweet Home Chicago" by Gregarious (gregarious@poboxes.com). The man goes to the park near Lake Michigan in Chicago for a blues concert. He meets a young woman in the crowd whose ethnicity is different from his but whose love for the blues rivals his own. They become friendly, and when the rain begins to fall, they find it necessary to cuddle up under a blanket. It turns out that people can do some wonderful things under the influence of good music in a pouring rain. The curtain call takes place at her apartment. This is an exceptionally good story. "Third Cave" by Anonymous. This is another one of the "A+ Stories" that I mentioned last week. It's another good one. Three men and a woman go spelunking. This term refers not to just walking through caves, but getting down and dirty while going places where few humans have ever gone. I have visited caves and have even made love in total darkness in one, but I did not have to rappel or crawl several hundred yards, and so I am not a spelunker. I thought you might want to know that. Anyway, the wife gets separated from the husband and has some great sex, first with one of the other guys and then with both of them. I don't recommend this sort of thing - spelunking, that is - unless you really know what you're doing. The author does an excellent job of setting up the ambiance, and the action in the second sex scene is especially hot. "Trip" by Plainman (an10176@anon.nymserver.com). This story uses a completely narrative format to offer an excellent blend of hot and sexy romantic fiction with several levels of voyeurism and reality. By several levels, I mean SEVERAL levels: we even have critiques of other a.s.s. authors worked into the storyline. I simply HAD to keep reading to see if I came up. {Or as my husband put it, "God, you even smell sexy. Why don't you just use the search function to check for "Celest" and come to bed with me?" I did; Plainman did not; we did; but I got back up to finish the story after I exhausted my husband while I was describing a bisexual fantasy to him.} In this story have two sexy married couples. In each family the husband and wife are passionate lovers in a predominantly monogamous but still open marriage. They enjoy incorporating fantasies into their love life; and as the story develops, they bring their fantasies into their real lives in very sexy ways. This author does a wonderful job of using the narrative format to blend flashbacks with present action in such a way as to fuse sexy events into even hotter images. In addition, the action outside the sack is often as hot as the actual lovemaking. There are many interesting and sexy scenes in this story. Here I'll quote only the one that makes a point that I myself have tried to make several times in these reviews: "Joe: ...She (Joe's wife) says it herself - most women are bi, more or less. Princess: So are most guys, but you have more incentives to hide it from yourselves - so anyway, how bi IS Amy?" My allegation has always been not that most people SHOULD have sex with people of both genders, but simply that most people COULD enjoy having sex with people of both genders if they wouldn't suppress those urges - and perhaps suppress them for perfectly good reasons, such as ethical believes or a commitment to a monogamous relationship. But if I enjoy diddling my own clit and having my husband eat me out, why in the world (aside from conditioned, emotional reactions) would I find it UNpleasant to have a beautiful woman do the same things to me while I returned the favor? And the same goes for guys - except, as Princess says, they have more incentives to hide or suppress their interest. Oh well, my own commitment to this principle extends only to reading and enjoying both kinds of stories. As Joe and Princess put it, I'm hetero and monogamous in my real world but bi and polyamorous in my reel world. Anyway, I feel an urge to expound my theory at least once every six months. And this story is an excellent example of my theory in practice. These couples represent a hedonistic lifestyle that I personally reject in real life because I know it would ruin something beautiful with my husband - but a story likes this presents the case for the temptation in a very persuasive manner. I strongly recommend this story. It's a clever, narrative mixture of Mark Aster, Tom Trilogy, and Uther Pendragon in a SueNH atmosphere with about thirty-five Dulcinea stories blended into the plot. "When Knighthood Was in Flower and Maidens Lost Their Heads" by Unknown Author. In CR 138 I reviewed the first two parts of this story, which were posted under the title "The Black Knight." The present version adds one more episode, but it still gives the appearance of being incomplete. If anyone has more parts to this story, I'd certainly like to see them. Sir Englebert the Ungainly is in the midst of a rather hectic adventure when he comes upon a naked woman - I mean fair maiden - tied to a stake. The young lady is the nearby village's offering to one of the great beasts of the forest to persuade that monster to spare their homes from destruction. If the dragon devours her, he cannot then in good conscience attack the village. It was a sensible thing for the villagers to do, and the good knight very nearly rides on by. But there's something about the fragile beauty of a damsel in distress with her naked body dangling like a misplaced modifier from a stake so that her breasts.... The (new) third episode dwells in detail on the treatment of forest witches. Having sex with a forest witch was a tricky matter for a knight. Unless he knew exactly what he was doing, he could become permanently diverted from his quest - or even worse. The only significant problem with the story was this sentence: "I told her that I labored under a curse; that I could not enjoy a woman who was well and recently spanked." Actually, the opposite was true: he could not enjoy a woman UNLESS she was well and recently spanked. It's a big difference, but I figured the curse correctly from the context. Since the story was otherwise so good, I decided to forgive this one sin. Anyway, this is a really excellent story. I don't want to ruin it for you, but I'll advise you that it's meant to be funny. Thomas Mallory and Alfred Tennyson may have taken knighthood seriously, but more recent authors have discovered that knights were really funny people. "The Whipping Post" by Delta (delta@bc.sympatico.ca). During the early predawn hours a woman's friend binds her naked to the whipping post in the center of town. It is the town in which she grew up but where she no longer lives, and she has harbored fantasies about being exposed to and beaten by the citizens. {It sounds to me like one of those recurring nightmares.} To her horror - and pleasure - she is recognized by some of the people who take advantage of the opportunity to beat her naked body while she has several public orgasms. I generally dislike stories of beatings and public humiliation, because I find them to be incomprehensible and annoying. I found this one to be incompressible - but just properly so; I kept thinking that this didn't quite make sense, but at the same time it did make sense in a strange way. Likewise, I found it to be annoying - but mostly because I knew I was enjoying something I didn't want to be enjoying. In a way, this is like a Deirdre story with more of the details. -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ .../assm/faq.html> /