Message-ID: <4236eli$9709191647@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: rass_senip@usa.net (Rass Senip) X-Good-Line-Length: yes Subject: Tim, the Teenage MC - Chp 10 (d/e) - By Rass Senip - Proofread by Evil Eye Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <34619b60.7280100@newsreader.wustl.edu> Tim, the Teenage MC By: Rass Senip rass_senip@usa.net +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >This posting contains: Chapter X(d): 10th Grade, Winter 1986/87 Part 10 - The Making of a Slut - (1 of 2) >The next posting contains: Chapter X(e): 10th Grade, Winter 1986/87 Part 10 - The Making of a Slut - (2 of 2) >See the Table of Contents (TOC) posting for a complete list of all Chapters released so far and information on posting format. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Chapter X: 10th Grade, Winter 1986/87 Part 10 - The Making of a Slut - (1 of 2) (toys, mf, ff, oral, anal) [The following entries were taken from LeAnne White's personal journal. She initially intended only to use this to document her experiences during her training to become a slut. But after her training was completed, she has continued to keep a written record of her sex life even to this day. However, to preserve her privacy, I have only included the entries that involve her training, and by her request, I have not listed any further entries dated after her graduation from my slut academy.] Monday, January 26th, 1987 -------------------------- Today the degradation of my self control accelerated beyond the simple urges to touch myself and flashbacks of the sexual experience I had on Friday. Concentration was disrupted repeatedly by momentary glances at the boys in my classes, followed by staring, then progressed to daydreams about them. At lunch time I managed to make it to a stall before taking off my undergarments and fighting the urge to touch my sexual organs. After lunch I continued to have problems focusing my attention on my class work. During sixth period, I momentarily lost all control twice while daydreaming about Ian Sikeston's nude rear end, and had almost touched it once before getting a hold of myself. I had no other option but to go to Tim Brandton and beg him for his aid. I am uncertain whether he truly was trying to help me Friday, or somehow caused my condition for his own perverted reasons. Whatever the case, I feel he is the only person who can help me regain control of my animal self. This journal is my attempt to ensure what I go through is not in vain. If for some reason the entries in this journal stop without explanation, I urge whoever finds this to take it to the authorities and have Tim Brandton investigated immediately. You may be my only hope. Tuesday, January 27th, 1987 --------------------------- This morning, Tim took me to Burger King and treated me to breakfast. I don't know how he could have known I hadn't eaten, and I think he also knew I had overslept and had rushed to meet him on the third floor on time. He told me we could make eating breakfast together a regular thing if I wished, and said it would give us a chance to discuss what we would do each day. I agreed, thinking I would simply have to get up a half hour earlier each day. When he asked if meeting here at 7:30 was too early, I realized he was talking about having breakfast during class time. I learned that Tim had discussed my situation with Principal Higgs and somehow arranged for me to miss as much class time as necessary until we finished my training. He never did explain how he could simply miss his first class, not to mention all his classes, on a regular basis. Despite my intuition telling me to trust him, I cannot simply overlook the way he seems to do whatever he wishes without anyone questioning it. I have no logical explanation for his strange abilities, and have a growing concern he is far more powerful(?) than what I have seen so far. I am somewhat confused by his insistence that my training will not be as simple as I believe it to be. I am quite prepared to carry out any task he gives me. It should be simply a matter of performing the motions necessary to stimulate pleasurable sensations. Tim told me that he would give me as much time as I needed to get comfortable in performing a task before going on to the next lesson, but I said it shouldn't be necessary. After we finished eating, we went back to his... the word "penthouse" comes to mind. He has the keys to three small classrooms on the third floor which are the only rooms used on a regular basis on that floor. Yes, penthouse is a very good description for his room. I'm certain it is used mostly for his sexual activities. My first lesson is surprisingly simple. Nudity. I am to strip naked whenever I am alone and get used to going without clothes. He asked me if I had a full size mirror in my room, then handed me a one hundred dollar bill and told me to buy one and use it to look at myself while I'm naked. He had to say my name three times before I heard him, and then he simply told me to go buy it and then go home and start practicing. That was three hours ago. I had a small problem finding a mirror big enough and expensive enough to purchase, but he gave me the money and there was no way I was going to give him back any change. So now I'm sitting at my desk, nude, after spending twenty minutes staring at my naked body in the mirror. I fail to see what this is supposed to accomplish, but I'm determined to follow it through to the letter. Time for lunch. I suppose it is safe to go into my own kitchen nude without anyone seeing me. No one is home. -7:10 pm- I HATE going without clothes! I've been chilled all day, I have scratched myself in more places than I can count, I spilled HOT coffee down my front and into my lap, my breasts hurt from going so long without the support of a bra, and worst of all, I'm starting to notice how ugly my body is while I'm staring at myself in that mirror. I don't really care about that, but I can't help but notice how unattractive I am. I wonder what Tim will say once he sees me. Wednesday, January 28th, 1987 ----------------------------- 9:40 am Tim told me to not worry about the little imperfections of my body because everyone has them and no one but themselves ever really notices them. I couldn't help but feel relieved by that. After we ate, he asked me if I had touched myself while looking in the mirror. I told him of course not. So he sent me home again and told me to try it once, but not to force myself to do it afterwards unless I naturally felt like doing it. I must be doing something wrong. I know masturbation is supposed to be very pleasurable, but the only thing I feel while using my finger to stimulate my vagina is a tickling sensation that doesn't last but for a moment. After that, I feel extremely foolish laying on my back with my finger going in and out of my vagina. 1:00 pm I felt I was getting nowhere, so at lunch time I got dressed and went back to school to talk to Tim. I couldn't believe it. He was actually in class. I went to the office to ask Marion (one of the secretaries who insists I call her by her first name) if she could look up what classroom he was in, but as soon as I walked in, Mr. Higgs asked me if I needed to talk to Tim, then had Tim called to the office for me. I half expected him to offer us his office to talk in, but it never happened. While we went up to his penthouse, I realized I was feeling very foolish again. I was about to ask a boy if I was 'playing with myself' correctly. He nearly had to drag it out of me after we got to the room. After I explained what I had been doing, he told me as far as he could tell I hadn't done anything wrong. Then I swore I felt something touch my mind. I can't explain what it felt like, but after it came and went, Tim told me he believed my animal was blocking the pleasure I was supposed to feel. Again I felt relieved. I now consider this to be strange because it means I will have to ask him whether I am doing something right instead of knowing it because it felt good. At the time however, I was just happy that I hadn't been doing it wrong and that it had been something I couldn't be faulted for. He asked me if I felt ready to have him in the room while I was nude. I was shocked. Of course I knew that was what he was working towards, but for some reason I couldn't believe he was asking me so quickly. He saw how shocked I was and told me I could wait until tomorrow, but shouldn't put it off much longer than that. So I'm going to spend the rest of the day imagining it is Tim looking at me instead of just my reflection in that mirror. I have noticed one thing since I have gotten back from talking to him. My breasts have stopped hurting, and when I examined them, my nipples got hard. I'm going to experiment a little with my nipples. I'm stroking one right now and it feels a little comforting. Perhaps my animal is letting me feel a little bit of the pleasure? 3:00 pm I can't seem to stop playing with my nipples. It does feel nice, but nothing extraordinary. I just keep getting this feeling that I'm right on the edge of making it feel really good. My sister is due home any time now so I have to get dressed for a little while. I'll be able to get back to my work right after dinner. 10:00 pm My nipples hurt from all of my efforts. I've spent so much time trying to get something more out of my nipples that I haven't imagined Tim watching me at all. I hope I can go through with this tomorrow. Thursday, January 29th, 1987 ---------------------------- 5:30 pm I didn't want to, but I did it. Tim was very understanding about how nervous I felt. I'm starting to believe he is sincere in trying to help me without having some kind of ulterior motive. We ate breakfast together as usual, but I wasn't very hungry. He told me to relax and think about how ugly the rather large woman who was sitting three tables over from us gobbling down her own breakfast would look naked. The image flashed through my head and I couldn't help but laugh. Tim gave me the strangest look when I did that. I'm not sure what it meant. He asked how things went yesterday, and I told him all about my nipples and how frustrated I had been last night. He said not to worry. If nothing else, I had learned how to lose myself in self-pleasure. I argued with him about that. I didn't lose myself. I had set my mind to a task just like any other. He didn't believe me. I started to feel a little sick when we got up to leave. I used to calm my nerves with just a moment of concentration, but today nothing I tried worked. All Tim had to do was look me in the eyes for a minute, and I swear my anxiety went away just by looking into those pretty blue-green eyes of his. I was back to being a nervous wreck by the time we got to his room at school. He unlocked the door, then held it open, telling me to get undressed and he would be back in a moment. He suggested that I pretend I was in a doctor's office waiting for him to give me a check up. It didn't help. I nearly left before I put my foot down, took a deep breath, and took everything off like I was rushing to jump into the shower. I stood there waiting for a good ten minutes before sitting down on his couch, and after another twenty minutes of waiting, I started to get mad. That was when I realized I had been pinching my nipples without thinking about it. I actually got excited that I had done something so primitive that I started using both hands. And it happened! I felt something wonderful shoot through me for just a moment, and then it was gone. I completely forgot about waiting for Tim, and suddenly he was watching me from the door. I had been so involved in trying to get that feeling back that I hadn't noticed him come in. And instead of feeling ashamed, I told him what had happened like it had been the greatest discovery ever made. He told me I had done well, and that I was ready to finish this lesson. My excitement vanished and all I felt at that point was a slight discomfort in my nipples from being twisted so hard. I couldn't help feel he had somehow planned everything and had known ahead of time what I went through. He had me turn around slowly, giving him good long look at my body. I felt his eyes examining every inch of my skin, noting every mark, every bulge, every little imperfection. I felt completely degraded, embarrassed, and wanted very badly to put my clothes on and leave. He had me move into different positions, some quite natural, some very unnatural. The worst were the ones where he took very close examinations of my anus and vagina. He spent the whole morning looking at me in every way imaginable. My discomfort grew less and less until I was simply feeling rather bored. He was examining my anus again when I felt my hand kneading my breast out of habit. I was very close to feeling that sensation I had felt earlier and I didn't even hesitate to use my other hand on my other nipple. I guess I must have made too much movement because I suddenly saw Tim's face smiling at me as he sat down on the couch to watch. I started to lose that feeling very quickly because of that, so I shut my eyes and concentrated on bringing that feeling back. I can't believe I started imagining what I would look like in the mirror, but I didn't stop because it was working. I'm twisting my nipples right now, and each time I look at myself in the mirror, I can feel it get a little closer. Is this what a slut does when she's alone? Watch herself twist and pinch her nipples trying to get that wonderful feeling to shoot through her again? I've done it six times today, and each time it gets a little easier. After I made that feeling shoot through me twice, Tim told me I needed to open my eyes and watch him watch me as I did it. I couldn't even get the feeling to start as I did it that way, so Tim had me stop for a while and we ate lunch together in the room. I didn't even think about the fact I was eating lunch with him nude until I had finished my sandwich and was wiping the crumbs off my lap. I can see now that Tim had been desensitizing me to being nude in front of him all that time he had been staring at me. I honestly wasn't the least bit embarrassed when he had me spread my legs and show him my vaginal lips. He gave me this wonderful smile when he saw I had passed his test with flying colors. I feel a strange duality about that. I feel very proud of my accomplishment, but I also feel I have betrayed myself. I'm not sure which of the two I should believe. Tim asked me whether I was ready to move on to the next lesson or if I wanted to try and get that feeling back while watching him watch me. I'm glad I chose the next lesson. My second lesson is to get used to feeling him touch every inch of my body. That scared me really badly, but Tim gave me another one of his smiles and started immediately with the lesson. I never knew how comforting someone's hand could be just brushing my cheek. After a few minutes of his soft hands on my cheeks and neck, he must have seen my fear dissolve because I found his hands were moving down my entire body. I felt like I had been thrown into ice water, and he immediately withdrew when I shuddered and stiffened. Tim apologized and asked me to lay down on the couch, so I did. I felt very uneasy again, but Tim started giving me a foot massage, and I really liked that. When he saw how relaxed that made me, he suggested trying my nipples again while watching him work on my feet. I did it, but only because I imagined watching myself in the mirror. I just did it again. But this time I felt my feet tingle like they had while Tim massaged them. I'm going to try it again. I give up. I'll try again later after dinner. 9:20 pm I'm getting better at this. I've only made my feet tingle twice, but I've had that shooting feeling three times in the past hour. I'm going to bed now. I'm exhausted. Friday, January 30th, 1987 -------------------------- 2:50 pm This was the longest day I've had in my life. I told him everything that I experienced yesterday while we ate breakfast, and was only a little nervous when I got undressed in front of him back in the room. He did my feet again while I got my nipples feeling good, and actually had two back to back. I couldn't believe it. But then he insisted we move on to the rest of the second lesson. I hoped I would get used to it just like the nudity thing, but he never did anything long enough to let me get used to it. I feel so numb. He touched me, pinched me, and slapped me just hard enough to sting but not actually physically hurt me. He didn't do anything to my nipples, vagina, or anus though. I broke down and cried once, and Tim did everything but promise not to do it anymore to make me stop. I want to believe he hates putting me through this, but I can see how aroused he gets while he's doing it and I feel so horrible because he does. I'm not angry, I'm just lonely. I thought Tim was someone who I could trust not to let his sexual urges get the better of him. He spent the entire day doing these things to me, never touching me with anything but his hands. Before he let me leave, he gave me some homework for next week. I have a black plastic penis in my mouth right now as I write this. I'm supposed to learn how to keep it in my mouth while I sleep, and in general get used to the feel of it and start practicing taking it into my throat without gagging. Of course I've heard that some girls take it in their mouths, but I never imagined anyone but the most barbaric people doing it. The only comfort I have right now is my wonderful nipples. I stroke and pinch them every moment I get. Oh my God. I can't believe I wrote that and meant it. I also love that mirror, and I just realized I got naked without thinking about it when I got home today. Do I really enjoy going nude? Sunday, February 1st, 1987 -------------------------- 10:00 am My sister caught me yesterday while I was naked in my room playing with my nipples. I must have looked scared to death when she asked me what I was doing. She's only thirteen years old and already wears the same size bra I do. We are complete opposites Jane and I. She's already gone to a few dances with boys, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if she has already allowed one of her several boyfriends to 'feel her up'. I could have died when she got this funny look in her eye and started to take her shirt and bra off. She asked me to show her what I had been doing, then promised up and down that she would never tell anyone. I never had trusted Jane before, but something about the way she acted made me believe her. My mother is out of town for the weekend, and my father knows better than enter a girl's room without knocking and waiting, so Jane and I spent the whole afternoon trying to make her feel that wonderful shooting feeling. She even stripped the rest of the way and watched herself in the mirror like I do. Jane finally gave up and just asked me to do it for her. We had an argument that led to her suddenly reaching out and giving my left one a hard pinching twist. The shooting feeling lasted nearly three times longer than anything I have felt before or since, and made my legs and arms tingle afterwards. Jane begged me to do it to her after seeing the effect on me. I did, and she peed on my bed from having her first shooting feeling. Jane and I spent the night in her bed pinching and twisting each other's nipples until we were so tired she didn't even put her nighty on like she had said. I gotta go. Jane wants me again. 8:30 pm. It's been a wonderful day. Jane and I spent the entire afternoon talking about everything. I never have had such a feeling of closeness with anyone before. I want to tell her about the training I'm going through so badly, but for some reason I can't. I try, but nothing happens. Tim has done something to me, I'm sure of it. After finally finding a friend in my sister, I think I won't need to go through Tim's training. I'm going to tell him tomorrow that I've decided I don't need his help. Monday, February 2nd, 1987 -------------------------- 10:00 pm I HATE HIM! He told me I made a deal and I had agreed to see it all the way through. But then he told me he wasn't going to force me to do anything, and warned me that no matter what I feel right now, it wouldn't last and my problems would come back. Tim let me go back to class, and I thought that was the end of it. But he was right! I hate him for that. By lunch time I was not only staring at the guys, but the girls too! I kept wondering if they had ever had their nipples twisted! I went home during lunch and played with my nipples in front of the mirror until Jane got home. She had taken off her top and bra before she got to my room, and as soon as I saw her I started crying. Jane comforted me as best she could, and even cried herself when I couldn't tell her what was wrong. I was the first one to start the nipple pinches after I sobered up a little, but when she did it to both of my nipples at the same time, something inside of me grabbed control. Jane struggled to pull me off her when my mouth clamped around her nipple. When I managed to get control again, Jane ran from my room telling me to say away from her. She hasn't spoken to me all evening. I've cried so many times I had to change my pillow cases they were so wet. I even heard Jane crying once. I'm so miserable. I've lost my best friend that I only had for two days. And the worst part is, I can't stop twisting my nipples! Tuesday, February 3rd, 1987 --------------------------- 2:20 pm Tim and I met for breakfast as if nothing had happened. But by the time we had reached the restaurant, I was crying into his shoulder. We had taken his car, and he held me for a long time after I finished crying. I'm not sure if he puts on some kind of cologne or if it's the clothes detergent, the soap he uses, or what. Even after everything he has put me through, I think he smells good. He seemed distracted while we ate, and I have to admit I was a little too. I couldn't get rid of the feeling that I was about to have something wonderful happen to me. I don't know where that came from because it never happened. I spent the entire day with a plastic penis in my mouth while he did his touching, pinching, and slapping. I don't know if it was because I was already miserable or because I was starting to get used to it, but it didn't seem as bad today as it had Friday. 7:30 pm Jane and I made up! And I was able to tell her everything! I don't think she believes it all, but she said if I don't force myself on her like that again, she would probably be okay with it. I misunderstood what she meant about that, and nearly pushed her off the bed when she started to suck on my right breast. She was very disappointed when I told her I didn't like it. She pleaded with me to do it to her, and I did it just to please her. I was so relieved when she admitted it wasn't doing anything for her either, so were happy as clams just pinching each other's nipples. Jane even tried my black dildo out in her mouth, then teased me by pressing it up to her vagina. I think I had turned white when she did that because she hasn't done it again since. Oh I'm so happy again. I was right about something wonderful happening. I can't wait to tell Tim in the morning. Wednesday, February 4th, 1987 ----------------------------- 2:30 pm Tim was all smiles when I told him about Jane. He's so sensitive to my needs, and even gave me a small kiss on the forehead. I felt as if I could have exploded with happiness. And I agreed with him not to tell Jane too much about my future lessons. I don't want my little sister becoming a slut too. I'm starting to get used to Tim's handling. I'm not going to say I like it, but it really isn't anything horrible about it. He hasn't hurt me, and he does give me these wonderful foot rubs that make my nipples stick out so far he asked me if I would mind if he nibbled them. I reminded him about Jane's attempt, but he insisted. I was just about to tell him to stop when he bit me. It felt as good as Jane twisting both my nipples. He did it to the other one, then explained that if he did it too much, I wouldn't get anything from my nipple twisting. I already had noticed how little twisting my own nipples were doing for me. I can still get the shooting feeling, but it just doesn't satisfy me like it once had. He had to leave and take a test during third hour, but left me to practice my deep throating which I hadn't been doing. My throat hurts from doing that, but Tim told me to make sure I kept doing it as much as possible, so I'm moving it in and out of my throat as I write. Jane's home. I'll finish writing the rest of my lesson down later. 9:20 pm Jane wants me to get her a dildo like mine. She's forcing me to agree to get her one by refusing to twist my nipples until I do. I'm so torn between my feelings of protecting my sister from corruption and my need for her attention and friendship. I'll have to talk it over with Tim tomorrow. If anything else maybe he'll let me take that dildo home for Jane as long as I bring it to school every day. 10:00 pm I nearly forgot. After we ate lunch, Tim said I was ready to let him fondle my private parts. He got out some body oil and oiled me up all over, then started kneading my breasts. I hate myself for loving that. I can't believe I let out a moan. But his hands felt so good! I didn't care for the anal and vagina rubs though. They felt degrading. Thursday, February 5th, 1987 ---------------------------- 2:50 Tim mentioned today that he thought my breasts had grown a little. I'm not sure about this, but my bra does feel a little uncomfortable. I didn't really take any notice of this before because I hardly wear them anymore. I'm not sure, but I think I'm starting to enjoy his touches. If it wasn't for all of the pinches and slaps, I would really like the long hours he spends on my skin. I'm even starting to rub my body with my own hands to make me feel good. And sometimes he only has to just touch my breasts to give me that shooting feeling. But Tim doesn't seem to want to touch them anymore. I'm a little concerned that he might be getting tired of me. I hope this lesson ends soon so we can start a new one. I would hate for him to get bored of me. Jane is home. I guess I better give her the dildo he gave me for her. It's not as big as mine, but at least I won't have to take it to school every day. 9:50 I think Jane is letting herself be taken over by her animal. She spent the day with me learning how to deep throat, and then after I let it slip about the nipple biting, she made me do it to her three times. Why did I do it? She didn't threaten me or anything. I just gave in and did it. Am I starting to weaken in that respect too? Friday, February 6th, 1987 ---------------------------- 1:50 pm I don't feel the pinches and slaps anymore, and I do like his touches. Tim is so gentle. And he's so strong! I didn't know he worked out in the weight room after school. I can't believe I felt excited when he told me the next lesson would be getting used to him being nude. Now I'm nervous about it. His limo(!) is coming tomorrow morning so I can spend the day at his place. He promises I will be home before dinner so my parents won't suspect anything is going on. I can make my nipples get hard just by thinking about it. At least I have gained control over that. My throat doesn't hurt anymore, but I still have a little gag reaction when I first start my deep throat exercises. Jane sounded like a frog this morning from the deep throating she did yesterday. Tim's finger slipped inside my vagina today. I think he was as surprised as I was. He asked if I ever get wet down there, and I told him no, not since Jr. High. I'm not sure, but I think he's worried about that. I wonder if Jane gets wet. After we ate lunch, Tim had me try doing the nipple thing while watching him watch me. I had no problem doing it. I even imagined him using his mouth and teeth on my breasts. That made me tingle again. I noticed he got aroused watching me like that. It was such a relief to know he wasn't getting bored of me. I was disappointed when he said he had to go to his sixth period class. I had hoped he would give me some more rubbing or maybe even play with my breasts like I had imagined. So now I'm bored. He didn't give me anything new to do, and because I came home an hour early, I have an extra hour to kill before Jane gets here. I guess I'll just try imagining what Tim will look like nude. I'll just get my anatomy book and study the male organs. 4:20 pm I'm so bored. I forgot Jane was going to a slumber party tonight and only had an hour to spend with me. Oh, I forgot to see if she gets wet. Darn it! I think I'll just take a break from all this and watch some TV. One of these days I'm going to mess up real bad and walk out into the living room without any clothes on in front of my father. I just did it now, but luckily only my mom is home and she had her back turned. 9:00 pm Jane took her dildo with her to the slumber party! I hope she doesn't do anything stupid. I'm so worried about her. I think I'll try and call her. 10:00 pm I feel a little better now. Jane didn't take her dildo after all. She just hid it better in case mom or dad went snooping. I'm going to bed now. Tim's limo will be here at eight and I want to be outside waiting. Saturday, February 7th, 1987 ---------------------------- 8:20 am I'm writing this in Tim's limo as we travel to his home. We, as in myself and two naked women named Vicki and Carol. I'm a little uncomfortable by their nudity, but to my relief Vicki relayed a message from Tim saying I wasn't to get undressed until he said. Just their existence scares me a little. Who are they, and what are they doing here? They call Tim 'Master Tim' and me 'Miss LeAnne'. What does this mean? Will I someday call him Master Tim also? Are these sluts? Or something else entirely? 10:10 am Tim is giving me a chance to write this down before we start with the next lesson. I have never mentioned to him I was keeping a written record of my training, but when he saw my notebook, he asked if that was my journal. My shock was almost as great as the chill that went down my spine. I've never been superstitious before, but I'm beginning to wonder what Tim really is. His house isn't a house, but a mansion. He has a huge estate, and the mansion is right in the center of it. Everything on the exterior is marble, including the steps that lead up to the huge front doors. I was extremely surprised by the interior decor being quite sensible and not gaudy or glitzy. Apart from the very impressive front hall, the rooms felt very homey, if spacious. Tim gave me the grand tour, and I was surprised to see what few servants there were, they all were wearing uniforms that covered their bodies decently. Of course this could have been for my benefit, but after meeting his mother, I didn't see why he would have bothered. Mrs. Brandton is astonishing. I couldn't help but admire how perfect her body was. I even would have to say she is beautiful, and I never thought I would think of a nude woman that way. I can't say what it is exactly that makes her look so sexually divine, but can say I nearly lost control over myself when the thought of twisting her nipples went through my head. I wish I had breasts like that. They're not all that big for a woman, but they are so firm looking. And her nipples I need to change the topic. I just twisted my left nipple so hard it hurt. Strangely enough, I miss my dildo in my mouth while I write this. I've gotten used to having something to move about with my tongue, and push in and out by inhaling or exhaling. That's enough for now. Tim is standing by the door waiting on me. I'm so nervous. 12:40 pm Tim has the most amazing control over himself, especially when it comes to sexual arousal. I better start at the beginning though. Tim took me to what he called the study, but was more like a stadium with beds instead of chairs. He was so calm, and I was so nervous. I hated my lack of control over my nervousness, especially when I couldn't find anything logically to be nervous about. I have never seen a nude male body in the flesh before, but I knew exactly what it looked like and how all the parts worked. I was so frustrated from not understanding what I was so upset about that I asked him to hurry up and get undressed. I love it when we look in each other's eyes. I don't how he does it, but I felt so much better afterwards that I gave him a hug and thanked him. I can still remember how good he smelled, and how nice his hugging me back felt. Tim didn't let the hug last very long, but I could tell he had liked it too. Tim asked me if I was ready, so I nodded. He took off his shirt and laid down to pull off his jeans, but stopped after undoing them. He asked me to pull them off for him, slowly. I was so excited and scared at the same time that I pulled them off in a quick jerk after I had them halfway off. I tried to keep my eyes off the tent in his boxers, but I couldn't. I barely remained in control when my animal tried to take over to reach out and touch it. That's when Tim said 'down boy' to himself and I watched as his erection immediately deflated. I've never seen such willpower before. I don't think I've ever been so impressed by someone. He's incredible. I felt his eyes on me, and when I looked up, he asked me if I was strong enough to take his underwear off. My heart felt like it was trying to get out of my body it pumped so hard. I knew then it didn't matter whether I was strong enough or not. I simply had to do it. I feel so ashamed from being so weak after seeing how strong willed he was. But at least I wasn't nervous anymore. If anything, I was excited. His skin felt so warm and soft when I slipped my fingers under the band on his sides. He lifted his bottom off the ground and I quickly pulled them down. When I saw his penis for the first time, I had this sudden urge for my dildo in my mouth. It vanished the next moment as he lowered himself back down, then asked if I was going to finish removing the boxer shorts. I was so embarrassed. He caught me entranced on the sight of his male genitalia. I diverted my eyes and concentrated on slipping his boxers the rest of the way off. After they came off his feet, I heard him say 'down boy' again, which I naturally looked over to see it just finish deflating. It couldn't have gotten all that stiff before he had caught it. Tim gave me the choice of either taking my clothes off also or rubbing my body all over. I chose the easier of the two. My clothes were starting to feel itchy anyway. I relaxed after a few minutes of Tim's handling, but I tensed back up when his erection brushed against my left thigh. And then I was confused. I kept having this urge for the dildo in my mouth, and yet I was completely revolted by the idea of his penis touching me. I new the dildo was just a replacement for his penis, so I was torn between the two knowing they directly conflicted with each other. I don't know how many times it touched me, but I shuddered every time it did. I think Tim was getting tired so he purposely pressed it against my side and smeared its 'precum' on my skin. I almost gave into my craving to flee. But Tim saw how upset I was and stopped. He calmed me down by giving me a foot rub, and then we went to the kitchen and fixed ourselves lunch. He gave me until 1:00 to write all this down before I'm supposed to meet him back in the study to continue our lesson. I feel strangely calm about going. I think something nice is going to happen. I hope I'm right about this like I was last time. 5:20 pm I'm on my way home in the limo and I'm very tired, but I have to write all this down before I forget anything. When I arrived in the study, Tim handed me a bottle of body oil and told me to use it on him. I felt so calm. I wasn't scared, nervous, or excited. I think I was in the middle of doing his chest before I felt a tingling in my vagina. I kept working on putting the oil on him, but the tingling was growing stronger and I finally had to stop and look. I couldn't tell there was anything different. Tim asked me what was wrong, so I told him. He told me to spread my legs and I did without hesitation, and didn't even shudder when he pushed his finger in. His finger made it tingle even more, and it started to feel good in a way. He looked up at me with a smile, and then pulled his finger out and showed it to me. It was glistening with moisture. I couldn't believe it. I was wet. I had a woman's equivalent of a male's erection. But apart from the nice tingling sensation, I didn't have any clear motivation to stimulate myself further. It was just there. I turned my head so I didn't see him put it in his mouth. I felt as if I could have thrown up from the idea. But the tingling apparently liked the idea because I felt it surge for a moment. Tim had me go back to oiling him up. I had naturally left this genitals for last, not really enjoying the concept of touching them. But he refused to roll over, and said I would have to start getting used to touching them anyway. He told me I could go over what I had already done as much as I wanted and take my time. He made it clear the goal was not only for me to touch them, but to stimulate him into an erection and possibly make him ejaculate. I believe he was constantly preventing himself from forming an erection. He seemed almost preoccupied by something as I did his chest again. His chest was very nicely built for a teenager his age. His arms were muscular also, but his chest was my favorite. I avoided touching the little stripe of hair that had grown from his crotch to his belly button. I felt as if it was teasing me, like an arrow pointing at his penis. My arms and hands were getting tired, so I took a deep breath, fixed my eyes on his crotch, put some fresh oil on my hands and did it. Tim jumped because I had squeezed his testicles too hard, so when I tried it again, I was more careful. Once my initial discomfort of handling his sexual organs had subsided, I took more notice of its shape and feel. The dildos were accurate up to a point, but when Tim finally let his erection form, I found his penis to be strangely familiar, yet shockingly different. His flesh and blood gave it such a different feel to it than the cool hard plastic. I still can't believe how many times I almost convinced myself to put it in my mouth. That would have been the real test to find out the differences, but the very idea makes me sick. He gave me tips on how to masturbate him properly, and I strangely felt compliant with his comments. The tingling in my vagina had grown without my realizing it, but when I saw his testicles retract and he told me he was going to 'come', I felt this twitch inside me that made me gasp. My attention was diverted to my own crotch, and forgot all about Tim's. Tim quickly reminded me of his own condition, but I didn't care. I was feeling my own arousal for the first time in a long time and quite frankly felt it was more important than what he was going through. After all, he probably had someone do it for him every day after seeing those two women in his limo. I learned a personal lesson from that. Because I was concentrating on how good it felt and not doing anything else, I found my arousal quickly diminishing. By the time I realized I should have continued masturbating Tim to keep my own arousal up, Tim had finished the job himself. I must admit I was fascinated by his ejaculation. Not aroused, but found it to be interesting. I was watching something I had seen many times before without ever seeing it function. Tim was a little upset with me. He refused to let me try again, saying I had failed the test. That upset me, and I begged him to let me retake it. He said no, then said it was time to move onto the next lesson. I was shocked when he told me to get dressed. I had expected and maybe even looked forward to saying nude while I was there. I unhappily followed his instructions, but as I picked up my bra, he stopped me and told me he didn't want me to wear a bra until my training was finished. I'm actually okay with this. They are not very comfortable after going without them so much. When I finished dressing, I felt his eyes on me again. I looked up to find them staring into my eyes, and I happily stared back. He has the prettiest eyes, so full of life and energy. I think I could stare at them for hours. And he was so sweet when he told me that before we did anything else, he wanted us to kiss. He said it was important to him to know he cares for someone before having any serious form of sex. Tim said I was ready to start the real training, but not until I had a real kiss from the heart. I never felt so, loved, I guess. He smiled at me probably from the expression I must have had on my face. That smile. I can still see it in my mind. I feel like all I want in the world is to see his smile again. I wish I could spend all day with him tomorrow. I didn't realize our faces had moved closer until I had trouble focusing from being so close. I noticed his eyes closing, so I did the same, and the next moment I felt his lips on mine. How could such a simple touch feel so good? I don't remember anything but the feeling of sharing myself with him, and the pleasure of our lips moving. I had a moment of clarity where I tried to kiss him the way I thought you were supposed to kiss, but whatever I did was wrong. So I let my instincts tell me what to do instead, and I was rewarded by his arms wrapping around me and feeling his wonderful body against me. I felt my pulse quicken and my focus sharpen on the sensations I was having all over my body. I don't know when my arms had moved to hold him against me like he was holding me. I started exploring his warm back with my hands as I felt a need to feel more of his body. I remember touching my tongue to his upper lip, then when I tried it again, I found his mouth had parted and I suddenly realized his tongue was touching mine. It felt so good to let myself go and feel around his mouth. And then he did the same to mine, sending a shiver down my body, and just drove me to a new height of excitement. I was so aroused by all this I must have instinctively rubbed my crotch against his because I felt his erection through our clothes and for an instant desired to feel it inside me. Tim made me slow down, and after a minute I broke the kiss to catch my breath. We broke apart, but he took my hand in his and we sat there without saying anything for several minutes. I felt his eyes on me the whole time, but I couldn't look him in the eye. I didn't want to know what I would find in his eyes. Lust, or, Do I love Tim? Do I want him to love me? Now I'm confused. I feel something for him that I've never felt before, and it is a wonderful feeling. But it also seems to hurt too. I wish I could talk to him about it. But do I dare? What if he doesn't love me and finds me weak for falling in love with him? I don't think I could bear that. Well, I better finish this. Tim broke the silence by telling me that the next few weeks would be very difficult on me, and that at times he would seem to be cold and ruthless in making me do something I didn't feel like doing. I don't remember all what he said, but he basically was telling me no matter what it appeared, he truly cared about me and would never intentionally hurt me. I understand for the first time how hard it is going to be for me. So far Tim has been right about everything, but now I'm twice as determined to do what he tells me and complete my training beyond all his expectations. Then maybe. No. I'm not going to fall in that trap. It will not do me any good to get love sick like a little girl. I am stronger than that. I have to be. We spent the rest of the time kissing and giving each other quick little feels inside our clothes without taking anything off. He twisted my nipples five or six times, and after I had squealed in surprise the first time, I found he loved it when I responded with little noises like that. I'll have to remember that. I hope Jane is back when I get home. I can't wait to tell her about some of this. 7:50 pm Not only was Jane home when I got there, she was in my room, naked, and using her dildo on her vagina! I couldn't believe my eyes! My little sister had broken her own hymen in a fit of horniness. She even had my dildo in her mouth! But the biggest shock was my response. I felt my crotch explode in tingles, and after yelling at her for what she had done, I started to shake and had to take my clothes off. Jane watched me try to aim my dildo at my opening, my arms and hands shaking so bad she actually had to help me to get it started. She tried to warn me when she saw I was going to ram it in, but she was too late. I cried out when the plastic head ripped through my hymen. My dad heard me and knocked on the door a minute later asking if I was okay. I couldn't go on after that awful pain, and haven't tried anything since. I think I've finally stopped bleeding, but it still feels sore. I feel so guilty for doing it. Why did I let myself go like that? Sunday, February 8th, 1987 -------------------------- 11:50 am I watched Jane use her dildo on herself last night before we started our nipple twisting. I think we are both tired of the nipple twisting because we didn't do it very long. After we turned out the light, she started asking me these questions. Questions that I didn't know the answers to. I fell asleep on her on the fifth or sixth question. I was so tired last night from everything I had done that day, but she was wide awake since she had stayed up the night before and hadn't gotten up until noon. When I woke up this morning, Jane wasn't in bed with me. We had slept in her bed since her room was further from my parents and we didn't have to worry about the noise as much. I slipped on my robe and went to look for her, finding her on my bed nude with her dildo still inside of her. She must have come to my room to masturbate in front of my mirror after I had fallen asleep, and had fallen asleep herself while doing it. I woke her up, then carried her back to her room before taking a trip to the bathroom. By the time I got back, Jane was already pumping the thing in and out of her. I did the strangest thing after I recovered from the shock. I asked her to let me do it for her. I felt very odd doing it, but Jane enjoyed it very much. I felt my own arousal start up after listening to her gasps and hard breathing. It didn't take too long for I had to try it on myself again. She wouldn't let me use hers, so I searched around the room for mine a minute before finding it under the bed. But before I could do it, my father announced it was time to get up for church from outside her door. I still feel guilty about how all I could think about during church was what it was going to feel like. Jane made me promise not to do it without her, and she had something to do after church and won't be back until around 2:00. I'll have to go find something else to do until then. 5:15 pm Jane didn't come home when she was supposed to. She's over at a friend's house and won't be home until around 8:00. I can't believe she did that to me. She knew I was waiting on her. I'm feeling a little depressed right now, and don't feel like trying it anymore. I just can't believe she'd do this to me. 11:00 pm Jane's avoiding me! She came home and said she didn't feel good and went straight to her room and locked the door. I heard her using her dildo in there, but she won't answer my knock. I'm going to unlock her door and demand to know what is going on. If she doesn't tell me, I'll take back the dildo. That will make her talk. 11:50 pm Jane told me. She and her best friend Susan had been experimenting with masturbation for the past month, and today they had oral sex. She offered to do it to me tomorrow if I got another dildo from Tim for Susan. I just stood up and left. I'm not going to have anything to do with her lesbian activities. Monday, February 9th, 1987 -------------------------- 2:30 pm I told Tim everything at breakfast, and he explained to me that what Jane was doing was actually quite normal. The only reason I saw valid was the fact that experimenting in sex with someone of the same sex was a lot safer than with the opposite sex, especially for girls. He made me promise I wouldn't interfere unless it was dangerous not to. I was a little unhappy about that, but I couldn't help but feel better after he smiled and said Susan would just have to find her own dildo. I could tell Tim was uneasy about something as I drove us back to school. Before we got out of the car I took his hand and asked what was wrong. He looked at me with such a puppy dog face and told me he wasn't looking forward to making me go through the next lesson. I kissed him. I KISSED HIM! Not the other way around. It was hard to end the kiss too, but I did it. I could see Tim was happy with my progress in that area. Once we got to the room, Tim asked me if I wanted to try anything before we started. A dozen things went through my mind, but I couldn't bring myself to try any of them except to kiss him again. But something wasn't right about the kiss. I don't know what it was, but there was something missing. I don't think it was anything that Tim was or was not doing. I just don't know. Tim undressed me, then went through the first two lessons looking for any resistance. There wasn't any. The next thing was for me to rub him down with body lotion, and I thought I had that part beat. I did it just like I did last time, even doing his chest and legs over before beginning the stimulation of his penis and working him towards ejaculation. At least I thought I was. His penis was fully inflated for a long time, but nothing seemed to trigger his ejaculation. When I finally got frustrated enough to ask what I was doing wrong, he told me it was time for my next lesson. When he told me to 'blow' him, my body went cold. I was absolutely repulsed by his order, but I knew I had to obey. My stomach felt as if it was ready to regurgitate the breakfast we had eaten together as I made my mouth open and move towards his hardened penis. I closed my mouth around it, and was surprised to find it didn't taste like urine, but something else organic. It wasn't all that bad, so I attempted to calm my stomach by pretending it was the plastic dildo instead of the real thing. That worked. I started to attempt to maneuver it like I had with the dildo, but since it was attached to Tim's body, it didn't quite work the same way. Tim didn't rush me or say anything while I experimented and learned for myself how to manipulate it in my mouth. Tim gasped when I finally felt confident enough to take into my throat. That was easier than with the dildo since his head was much softer and more flexible than the plastic the dildo was made of. I'm a little surprised at how I adjusted to the situation and felt comfortable moving my mouth up and down on his penis. I seems so unreal to me now. I feel a little ill just contemplating the fact I had his penis in my mouth. But at the time, it almost felt fun. When he told me he was about to 'shoot', I became very aware of what I was doing and how disgusting it was. I nearly threw up on him when he told me I could either keep it in my mouth and swallow it, or let it squirt all over my face and rub it in. I naturally decided to take it on my face, so I pulled my mouth off and shut my eyes and mouth. He yelled at me to keep pumping with my hand, then grabbed my hand when he saw I wouldn't open my eyes to find his penis. When my hand made contact with his penis, I started the up-down motions expecting him to ejaculate at any moment. He must have lost his high state of arousal for it took several minutes before he finally gave a loud moan and I felt a warm stream of fluid hit my right cheek. After five streams of semen, he finally relaxed, then had to tell me to stop 'pumping'. I wanted to wipe it off, but he insisted I only rub it in or lick it off with my tongue. He said it very sternly, but not without a hint of remorse. I was very surprised when he licked my left eye lid clean so I could open it without it getting some in my eye. He went over to the small refrigerator and poured himself a drink of something purple. He drank it down, then offered me a glass of soda or tea. I took the tea, wondering why he hadn't offered me what he had drank. Before I could even finish the tea, his penis was hard again and was starting to seep 'precum'. I shuddered when I realized he expected me to do it again, and nearly broke down into tears when he said I would be doing this for the rest of the day. I did too. Twenty-seven times. And after each one he drank another glass of that purple drink. After the first three times, he told me I had to start swallowing it. I threw up five times today. We both were extremely tired by the time he said we had done it enough for the day. I'm going to take a nap now. I've already fallen asleep three times writing all this down. 6:30 pm Jane was very angry at me for not getting another dildo. I told her the truth, then told her she had no right to demand anything like that from me or Tim. She stomped out of my room without another word. I'm sure she'll get over it. I'm going downstairs to get something to eat, then I think I'll just watch some TV. I don't want to think about what Tim will make me do tomorrow. Tuesday, February 10th, 1987 ---------------------------- 2:30 pm 32 blow jobs and I only threw up three times, all three in the morning. Tim says we'll have to do something different tomorrow. His equipment can't handle the load. It figures. I'm just getting used to it. Giving sixty blow jobs in two days makes me a slut, doesn't it? I'm going to take a nap again. I hope Jane doesn't wake me up and start yelling again. Wednesday, February 11th, 1987 ------------------------------ 2:35 pm 42 blow jobs, but I only gave Tim 12 of them. His best friend Joey came along with us to breakfast, and Tim told me I would be giving Joey most of the blowjobs today. I didn't argue. Joey's dick was larger in diameter, but Tim's easily was longer. Joey tasted different, especially his semen. I wonder if all males taste different. I have the feeling I'm going to find out. The biggest difference was how Joey responded. I had just figured out how to please Tim the quickest, but it doesn't work at all on Joey. Even his orgasms are different. Tim likes to moan really loud and press his crotch into my face so he goes in deeper, where Joey just kind of squeaks while jerking and shivering. Tim called it Joey's shudders and shakes. I didn't see the joke, but apparently there was one. They shot their cum all over my breasts and stomach, then I had to rub it in after getting a good taste of it. I actually am rather pleased about this. I didn't get near as sick today because I didn't swallow as much semen. I'm supposed to start practicing using more colorful words like dick, cock, balls, pussy, ass, etc. Tim said I might also start masturbating if I had the energy, which right now I don't. I'm going to go brush my teeth and take another nap. I need to get this taste out of my mouth before sleeping with it. It tasted like I had eaten a dead cat in my sleep when I woke up yesterday evening. Thursday, February 12th, 1987 ------------------------------ 2:20 pm Another day of giving blow jobs. Tim brought in two more friends of his, giving me four cocks to suck on. John was the only one of the three who had seemed nervous before I did him the first time. He obviously hadn't received very many blow jobs before. Actually I guess it isn't obvious because I can't think of any other reason to make me think that besides the nervousness. Oh, I know what it is. John was easier to make cum than the other three. It was as if getting a blow job was still a pretty new thing to him and he found it to be very arousing. The opposite could be said for Brad. I had a hard time to get him to ejaculate. And he was a little strange too. He kept asking me for a taste whenever I let one of them cum in my mouth. I suspect he may be gay. Tim gave me a wonderful foot rub while I was struggling to get Brad off one time. And Joey. Oh, he can do some incredible things with his mouth and tongue. He must have sucked on my breasts for hours without tiring. As I suspected could happen, I'm starting to like my cock sucking. It's become quite a challenge to learn the best way to make them ejaculate. The only one I haven't figured out is Brad. Hopefully I will have another chance tomorrow. His dick tasted strangely like maple syrup when I first tasted him. I forgot to keep track of how many blowjobs I gave today. It doesn't matter. Brad always took so long I know I must have given no more than twenty. No record to set there. Time for my nap. I'm more tired today from all the work I did on Brad. Friday, February 13th, 1987 ------------------------------ 2:50 pm I just got home from sucking over 70 cocks! Tim took me into the boys locker room and put me into a stall that had a hole between it and the next stall. I spent the entire day sucking dicks of all sizes and shapes, and even several black ones. I had no idea who their owners were, but I did know Tim's when he stuck his through the hole. I guess you never forget your first. Tim also gave me a homework assignment. I'm supposed to find a guy that I trust and lives nearby and start blowing him on a regular basis. The only person I can think of is that twerp Rick that lives next door. I know I can trust him because he'd do anything for me, but he's only fourteen, and I'm nearly eighteen. Besides, I've always seen him as a sorta clean kid, not interested in the sexual topics like most boys his age are. Well, time for my nap. I wonder what Rick tastes like. 8:00 pm Jane asked me if I wanted to sleep in her bed tonight. I think she's feeling guilty for getting mad at me. I said okay. She seemed to cheer up. 11:30 pm Jane was acting really weird. We did the nipple thing, and then she handed me my dildo and started using hers. I watched her for a minute, then put it in my mouth. It tasted funny. I think she had been using it. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she hadn't been letting Susan use it or hers. I didn't care. I fell asleep with it in my mouth for the first time. I don't think I was asleep very long before I felt someone licking my pussy. I'm so angry with her! How dare she try some of her lesbian loving on me! I'm in my own bed with my dildo in my mouth where it belongs. I'm not going to leave it around for her to snatch anymore. Saturday, February 14th, 1987 ----------------------------- 4:50 pm That was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I called Rick this morning and asked him if he would like to help me with a school project that needed a male point of view. He said yes immediately, but said he couldn't do anything until after 2:00 since he was going out with his parents. About twenty minutes till two, he was at my front door. I took him back to my bedroom, then closed and locked my door. When I saw his eyes staring at my purposely erect nipples through my T-shirt, I didn't hesitate to check his crotch out. He saw my glance, and tried to cover his erection up, but I had already seen it and knew he was mine. He asked what the project was, so I told him I was investigating which breast men like to touch first. The left or the right. The look on Rick's face was priceless. But then he got scared and started to get up. I told him to wait, pulled my shirt off, and told him to touch one. I forget which one he touched first. I didn't have to coax too much for him to try sucking on them. I managed to get a couple of shooting feelings from his infant-like sucking. But I got tired of that and moved my hand to his lump in his jeans. He didn't resist at all as I unzipped his pants and pulled it out. I was a little disappointed in it's size. He had just turned 14 last month. But what he lacked in size he made up in other ways. Taste for one. He had the strongest tasting cock so far. Not because it was unclean like some of the ones I had yesterday. It just has a flavor to it stronger than the others. And his semen was different too. Unfortunately I didn't have any of Tim's purple drink to give him, so I had to wait a whole twenty-five minutes before he was in the mood again. His volume was kind of low too, but Tim had told me the drink increases the amount also. It would be interesting to find out what is in that stuff. Rick came five times before he had to go home. Before he left I saw the look in his eyes that I had seen in Tim's that time I had laughed in the restaurant. I think I know what it is now. I imagine I had the same look when Tim had kissed me. I wonder if I'll feel the same for Rick. Jane went over to her 'girlfriend's' house at noon and is spending the night. I believe I overreacted last night, so I'm thinking about asking Tim for another dildo to make up with her. I just will have to make it clear to her I don't want any part of her lesbian activities. But I still feel obligated to hold off on using the dildo on myself until she is there to watch me. I think I might be able to learn a little from her in that respect also. I better go downstairs and do something in public. Rick promises he'll come over right after church tomorrow. Poor kid. I thought he was going to fall asleep on me after that last one. 10:30 pm Rick came over to talk to me after dinner. He wanted to know if we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I told him the truth more or less. I said we were just friends and that I needed his help to get through some problems I was having. He got a little upset when I wouldn't admit feeling something more for him than friendship. He broke my heart when he started crying a little. Rick is such a sweet boy. I knew right then I did feel something more than friendship and told him so. I didn't tell him what, and he didn't ask. He really livened up when I gave him a kiss on the lips. I'm glad he didn't feel like doing anything more. We talked about normal things like we did in the past. I used to babysit him and spend hours telling him everything I knew. He would just accept everything I told him, and later he would ask me questions on things that he wasn't clear on. He's very intelligent, and he retained almost everything I had taught him. Shortly after turning thirteen he seemed to lose interest in my lectures. His parents stopped calling me to babysit a few months after that because he had reached the age where he could stay home by himself. I was a little upset, but I wouldn't let myself admit it. I didn't have any use for those feelings. I hope we keep the old friendship alive while we form a new one. I guess I have formed friendships here, but I just didn't allow myself to see them that way. Time for bed. I'm very tired, especially since I didn't take my afternoon nap. Sunday, February 15th, 1987 --------------------------- 8:50 pm Rick and I spent the whole day in my room. We told our parents he was helping me work on a research paper for school, and he was my research subject. They accepted it without a second thought. After all, who would suspect me to be giving him 'private lessons'? Rick likes sucking on my tits just about as much as he likes me sucking on his dick. I don't really mind him doing it either, especially since I discovered I get aroused watching he and I in the mirror. Rick doesn't understand why I insist we move the mirror so I can look in it all the time. We haven't yet taken all our clothes off. I go topless, but he only unzips. At least he agreed to take off his underwear so I wouldn't have to fight it trying to come back up while I'm sucking. Of course he had to take them off in the bathroom so I wouldn't see his naked ass. Wow. I certainly have adjusted to using the slang words. I guess the only word I haven't used yet that I'm supposed to is "fuck". There, I used it. Rick started to ask me questions about girls and what they like. I answered as best I could, but I'm not sure how accurate my answers were. Especially the one about whether all girls liked to suck and be sucked. I sent Rick home at 5:00 when Jane got back from her girlfriend's house. She gave me this funny look when she saw Rick leaving. But before I could respond she went into her room and I plainly heard the click of her lock meaning she didn't want to talk. After dinner I was waiting in her room before she got there, and only had to say I was sorry before she closed her door and locked it again. We talked for a little while and I told her about my peace offering. She got real excited and gave me a big hug, then I think she started to get aroused because she gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek and pulled away to see what my reaction was. I explained I wasn't interested in doing anything to each other, apart from maybe masturbating in each other's presence. She didn't make a fuss, but I could tell she wasn't happy about it. Is my sister truly a lesbian? I hope Tim is right about outgrowing it. I would hate for her to miss out on What was I thinking? I don't really want my little sister becoming a slut like I am. But I do hope she can find a nice guy who will love her and marry her before having sex with her. Jane's off the phone from telling Susan. I'm going to try my luck at masturbation. I hope it doesn't hurt anymore. 10:30 pm Now I know why Jane does it all the time. It's feels wonderful! Better than the shooting feelings did when I started having them. I got so horny that I agreed when my sister wanted to do each other. It took me a while to get wet, but once I did, it didn't stop! Jane grossed me out when she took my dildo out and put it in her mouth. And then she made a yummy sound and licked her lips! I felt sick to my stomach and told her so. I got her to swear not to do it again tonight, but she wouldn't promise to never try it again. After she had done that, I strangely wished I had a second dildo for my mouth. I almost asked if I could borrow hers, but there was no way I would put that thing in my mouth after she had used it like that. I'm going to ask Tim tomorrow for a second one for myself when I ask him for one for Susan. I'm pretty tired again. I probably will be even more tired tomorrow night. Who knows what Tim has planned for tomorrow. Monday, February 16th, 1987 --------------------------- 2:40 pm My throat hurts. First thing first though. Tim had twelve seniors jerk off all over me after they had drank some of his drink. I had cum all over me, and I didn't care! After they left, he wouldn't let me wipe any of it off, or even taste any of it. But he let me blow him, and I felt better afterwards. He also helped rub it in since I was getting very cold from it drying on me. Oh, how I love his rubs. Once it got too sticky for us to rub any more, he told me to start thinking about who I wanted to have intercourse with for the first time. I immediately started to say I wanted him, but he said I needed to spend some time thinking about it. I'm supposed to call him tomorrow morning as soon as I get up to tell him who so he can make arrangements to have him at school tomorrow if necessary. Of course this means I'm going to lose my virginity tomorrow. Why doesn't that scare me? Tim told me I probably wouldn't like most of the rest of today's training, but after I got through it I would be finished with this part of my training. He looked into my eyes and said in the most sincere voice I have ever heard "Trust me." He was right. I didn't care for most of it. I have never been so embarrassed and humiliated in my life! He put a dog collar on me, snapped a leash to it, then led me stark naked out of the safety of the room and down the hall. I begged him to take me back to the room when we started down the stairs, but he said, "Shut up, bitch. It's time to show you off to the world." And that's what he did. I don't know where we all went because I couldn't see. My tears had mixed with the cum around my eyes and blurred my vision. But I did realize we were in the main office when Tim was talking to Mr. Higgs about me. I really started to cry then, but didn't resist following him out and through the crowded halls between third and fourth hour. I was determined to do whatever it took. I had to stand up on one of the tables in the cafeteria during all four lunch periods. That was the worst, but I suppose I had started to adjust to the embarrassment. I stood up there the entire time, complying to people's requests to spread my legs or show them my ass. And at the end of each lunch, people started throwing food at me and calling me a slut. I didn't bother to cry. I had reached the point were I didn't care. Everyone knew how much of a low life I was, so it didn't matter what they did or said. When fourth hour was over, Tim helped me off the table. He had prevented anyone from touching me or throwing anything but soft foods, and even though he had put me through all of that, I wasn't at all upset with him. He was just doing his job, and I saw in his eyes he hated it. He took me down to the boys' locker room and led me through the rows of surprised boys changing for gym. I noticed that half of them seemed more embarrassed than anything, especially the ones who were in their underwear. Their looks were more of astonishment rather than the wolfish stares I had expected. And after he led me away from them and towards the showers, I found out why. Tim looked in my eyes again and told me to take my suit off for a shower. Up until that moment I thought I had been nude all that time. But when I looked down, I had my swim suit on that easily covered anything I would have wanted to cover. Tim told me he had hypnotized me Friday to put it on this morning without me consciously knowing I was doing it. No wonder I had so much trouble taking a pee this morning! I had been peeing through the suit! Thank God I didn't have to go the other way. Tim got in the shower with me and helped me work the suit off. The cum had become like a glue, especially when it had gotten wet in the shower. Tim didn't try to hide or stop the hardon he got while he worked the cum out with his hands. So when we finally got my bathing suit off, I went right up to him, took him in my arms and gave him a wet sloppy kiss while I pressed my naked crotch against his. Those tingling feelings have never tingled so much. I could feel his pulse all the way inside me from his dick laying across my cunt. Cunt. I never thought of it using that term before. Tim told me there would be plenty of time for that tomorrow, but we were running short of time if we were going to finish this lesson today. He didn't even have to tell me to do it, I just got down on my knees and took his cock into my mouth and throat. I had thought my training was over, and it was time for the test. But I was wrong. He took my head in my hands and told me to relax my mouth and throat and let him do all the work until I got used to it. Then he moved my head back and forth on his dick, pushing it all the way into my throat on each stroke. I gagged on it a few times, but I concentrated on what he was doing and learned how to anticipate when I could breathe. He stayed hard for a long time without cumming, and finally when I had become fairly comfortable with it, he told me to start trying some tongue. It was into sixth period before he finally moaned and gave me his cum. I was surprised to see Joey walk in and hand Tim a glass of the purple drink, but I surprised him more when I immediately started undoing his pants to give him a blow. Tim told us to go ahead, but to hurry up because it wouldn't take very long for the drink to work. And when he saw Joey was just letting me take care of it on my own, he had him take my head in his hands and operate me like a jerk-off machine. I had a little more trouble with gagging since his was fatter than Tim's, but its shorter length actually made it easier for me to breathe. I even almost liked it better than Tim's. But when he came, I could tell he had cum earlier because it just didn't have the volume of a first cum. But at least I got to taste more of it than I did with Tim's. Tim had shot most of it down my throat before pulling it back into my mouth. No sooner had I finished Joey when Tim had me lay down on the shower floor on my back and open my mouth. He got on top of me and lowered his precum dripping dick into my mouth. I gobbled it down and started to try my best tongue work, but then realized what he was going to do. I'm a slut. I have to be. I actually enjoyed him fucking my mouth! I felt so dirty doing it, but it felt so good to feel that way. When Tim finally came and tried to get up, I wouldn't let it out of my mouth! I made him do it again! He ran out of energy before he could cum, so I had him lay on his back and tried to fuck him with my mouth that way. It worked! When I had finished Tim off, I tried to get Joey to do it, but they both said there wasn't any time left. There was one last thing I had to do, and it had to be done upstairs. Joey had brought down my clothes, so I put them on and went with them up to the room. The bed was out, and I didn't bother to wait for them to tell me to get undressed and get on it. I couldn't imagine what there was left to do that didn't involve intercourse, but wasn't worried about what it could be. Joey left the room while Tim oiled me down all over. I was in such a daze from his rubbing that I didn't notice Joey come back with three men, one of which was Mr. Perry! I shuddered realizing I was going to give them all a blow job, but then I swallowed my discomfort and licked my lips trying to look like I was anxiously waiting for it. The first stranger wasn't much older than I was. He was black, had a very straight and long dick, but he didn't taste any different than most. He let me do all the work, and it strangely was relaxing to me after the brute force mouth fucking earlier. I liked him because he let me taste all of it when he came. I think he must eat a lot of onions because it sort of tasted like that. The second guy had a huge beer belly and must have been at least forty. He came so quick after I started that I almost choked on it. I never expected anyone to cum that soon. He tasted a bit bitter. Maybe from all the beer. Thankfully Mr. Perry didn't seem to know who I was. He's one of my favorite teachers, and had him for three different biology classes. He's retiring at the end of this year, and I guess that makes him about sixty. I wish I could have sucked him in the prime of his years. His dick was larger than most, and he had been considerate enough to ask me if I really wanted to do it, and if there was anything he could do to make it better for me. I'll never forget his face when I licked his dick and asked him to fuck my face. I wonder if I will ever be able to talk right again. He started out so gentle, but after I made him stop so I could tell him to do it harder, I couldn't believe he had that much energy or strength to do it so rough! The bell rang while he was working on me, and he spent nearly twenty minutes before finally cumming. It wasn't much, and it tasted very strange. I guess those balls of his weren't making anything anymore. I'm very tired, but I don't want to take a nap until after I let Jane pick out a dildo. Tim gave me a box of them, some of them even vibrate. I have no idea where I'm going to keep all these without my parents finding them. Maybe I need to get a safe. Or maybe I won't want them after I lose my virginity tomorrow. 8:40 pm Jane took two of the regular dildos and one of the vibrating ones. I tried one before she got home and will probably never use a plain one again down there. We had some fun working them on each other. The only reason we had to stop was because Rick was at the door wanting to see me. Jane wouldn't let us alone, so I took out the largest dildos in the box, tossed it to her, and told her to practice. Before she could ask what she was supposed to practice, I pulled Rick's pants down clear to the ground and took it and both balls into my mouth on the first try. I made Rick wiggle and squirm as much as I could before applying the suction that he loves so much. Rick was staring at Jane's pussy after I finished sucking his cum out of him. I was a little upset that the first pussy he saw was my sister's. She was pumping her new toy in and out of her faster than I had ever seen her do before, and it made me a little horny for it myself. So I laid down on the bed, slipped out of my clothes, then handed Rick my vibrating tool. It took a while for him to get it right, but he figured it out. I wish he could have stayed longer. Nothing else happened after Rick left around 4:30. I'm going to bed now. I'm very tired. Tuesday, February 17th, 1987 ---------------------------- 2:20 pm He changed his mind! I'm still a virgin! Tim said I'm not ready yet! I was very upset with him, but he wouldn't listen to me. He even got mad and told me if I didn't like it, I could go find someone who didn't care about me and let them screw me up. I didn't say anything else. I just got down on my knees and opened his fly right there in the restaurant. I didn't care if the world saw me after what I had gone through yesterday, and I didn't care if I got arrested and put in jail. I had to prove to him I was ready, and I couldn't think of any other way. Tim didn't stop me, so I went ahead and took his hardening dick out and sucked it right into my throat. I knew I was really getting him stirred up, especially when I started making a lot of slurping noises, followed by a lot of mmms. By that time I suppose I forgot where I was and just concentrated on what I was doing. When he grabbed the sides of my head, I let him hump my mouth without any resistance. I was just starting to tingle when he pulled it out and shot cum all over my face. I tried to get as much of it on my face and in my mouth, but some of it missed and got wasted. I don't understand how, but no one in the restaurant noticed! I was busy trying to clean my face up with my finger and tongue when a man bumped into me and apologized without a second glance. Tim was zipping up while ordering our food at the counter, and the cashier never even looked down at what he was doing. How does he do that? Tim told me when we sat down that he had enjoyed it and said it would be a good idea to do it every morning. I didn't care. I didn't feel like talking, and I wasn't very hungry either. He wasn't going to budge and I knew it. He had me tell him what happened yesterday, and encouraged me to experiment on my own with both Jane and Rick, but to make sure I didn't take things too far. When we got back to the room, Tim immediately had me suck him off again, but this time he didn't drink anything before, and never took over by grabbing my head like I had expected. He let me enjoy it. Did I just write that? God, I _am_ a slut. I love sucking him off. After he came in my mouth, I kept sucking on him. He let me go for a few minutes before he reached down and gently lifted my head up away from his dick and up to his mouth. I looked hopefully into his eyes, then closed mine before we kissed. I love the way he kisses. He doesn't let you french him at first, he just slowly eats your lips and holds you. When we do finally french, it is so natural and giving. It just happens without either of us actually making the first move. I wanted just to melt in his arms. I don't remember doing it, but I had started jerking him off while we were kissing. We both still had our clothes on, but Tim's pants were wide open and he hadn't worn any underwear, so I had free access to his cock and balls. I started to pay more and more attention to his hard dick, and after a few minutes I broke off the kiss and went down to suck him again. And just like that it went soft. I still can't believe how fast it went from being fully hard to completely soft. How can anyone have that much control over one's arousal? If it hadn't happened right there in front of me, I would have never believed it. I was still kneeling there in shock when he turned away and started pulling the bed out of the couch. I had to move out of the way, but then I waited for him to tell me what to do next. Once he had the bed out, he told me to undress him, then myself. I did this as quickly as I could, resisting the opportunity to suck on his rehardening dick, but only barely. I was excited, and even a little aroused. I could feel just a slight tingling in my pussy. I'm using my vibrator right now, but it's not making me tingle. Maybe Rick or Jane will make it tingle. Anyway, he said for now on I would have to beg to suck him off. Unless I had his permission, I couldn't even touch his cock. I pleaded with him, but naturally Tim didn't give in. So I tried to suck him down my throat anyway, and he HIT ME! HARD! It felt as if he had torn skin off my cheek it hurt so bad. There wasn't a mark on me though. Now I don't even think he really hit me, just made me believe he hit me. It just isn't in his nature to physically hurt someone. I cried very hard, and wouldn't listen to him for several minutes. He finally had to grab my face and look into my eyes. I swear I could feel his remorse fighting his determination. He told me point blank that I had to pull myself together or I would never get what I wanted. He gave me kiss on the cheek where he had supposedly hit me and told me he wouldn't do that unless I gave into my desire again. I nodded and wiped my tears away, then said I was ready. Tim laid down and simply told me to suck his tits. He had to repeat it for I wasn't sure if he had said his tits or mine. I didn't want to do it, but of course I did. I lost the initial displeasure very quickly, but kept my mind on what I was doing, concentrating very hard to find out the best way to make him happy. I had just remembered how much he loved hearing the sucking sounds and my little grunts and mmms when he told me to lick his entire chest. I didn't have any problems there, nor when he had me lick his face, and even his ears. But when he told me to do his arm pits, I hesitated. Tim told me if I hesitated again, I wouldn't be getting any more cum from him today, then pushed my face into his left armpit. The scent at first was awful. I don't think he had put on any deodorant for a couple of days, or even had cleaned under there. But I got used to the smell pretty quick. I faked my enthusiasm when I went for the other pit, and I think Tim believed it. The next task almost made me pause when he told me, but I kept moving and lowered my mouth over his belly button to clean out. It actually tasted a lot like his cock, but I didn't tell him that. I don't think I'll have any problems cleaning belly buttons again. I did his toes, his feet, his legs, thighs, and finally his crotch. I wanted to just gobble his prick down so bad it almost hurt not to, but I made do by sucking on his balls and licking the base of his shaft. He let me do some freelance licking, so I did everything all over again just to show him I could. I'll suck his nipples any day. It was getting close to lunch time when he finally got up and got a big glass of drink and brought it over with him. I was excited because he had never drank that big of a glass before, and was expecting to have quite a cum feast. He gave me a few sips of it! Not really very much, but I definitely had enough of a taste to know I liked it. And after he drank it down, Tim told me the next part was going to be unpleasant for me, so that's why he was rewarding me now. I wasn't really worried about it because I didn't think anything could be that bad. I spent twenty minutes sucking his drooling cock, drinking cum until I was almost full of it. Tim was so tired afterwards I thought he was going to fall asleep at any moment, but he didn't. I wish he had. He rolled onto his stomach and told me to lick the rest of him. I immediately started licking his back and neck, but then I understood what he had been so worried about. I shuddered thinking about licking his anus, but I tried to work myself up to doing it by licking his butt cheeks first. I knew I had to do it, so I attempted to put my tongue between his cheeks three times before I got terribly sick and threw up. I was more upset that I couldn't do it than anything else. Tim helped me clean up the mess, then took my hand and led me out the door. I forgot we were naked until we were all the way down on the first floor. But because Tim was naked also, I guess I accepted the fact somehow no one would see us like that. I trust Tim probably more than anyone else in the world. I love him, and I'd do almost anything for him. I know he cares for me, but I also know he doesn't feel the same for me as I do for him. I'm okay with that. I've known from the beginning that there could never be a long term relationship between us. The weight room had twenty four sweaty smelly naked guys, all standing with their backs to us when we entered. When the nearest guy bent over and spread his ass cheeks with his hands, I knew what was going to happen. I somehow took a hold of myself and took the plunge with my tongue without Tim saying or motioning a thing. I licked all twenty four ass holes, and some of them weren't all that clean. Then I had to lick all of their arm pits and belly buttons before Tim let me choose one of them to suck. I'm rather proud of myself. I picked the smelliest, most disgusting looking one to suck, and I got so wet from doing it, IT ACTUALLY DRIPPED DOWN MY LEG! I don't know who was more surprised, me or Tim. The bell had rung while I had been sucking the guy off, so I hurried up to make him cum and didn't even bother tasting it. I wanted to go and try masturbating while I was so horny, but Tim had other plans for me. Tim wouldn't let us leave until the bell rang again, saying there were too many people to do something that I didn't catch. So by the time we got back to the room, I had lost the tingling feeling that was making me so wet. But that wasn't any problem for Tim. He had me lay down, spread my legs wide, and close my eyes. I waited anxiously, hoping he had reconsidered and was about to fuck me. I was severely disappointed when I felt his tongue at my crotch, and sighed when his tongue did nothing for my arousal. Tim used some rhythmic motions on my pussy and clit that he kept up for nearly the entire hour. I don't know how he could keep up that kind of pressure, my tongue is extremely sore from all the licking I had done, and he put a lot more into it than I had. It was worth it. During the last lunch period, I started to feel the tingles. Whatever he was doing finally worked, and I have never felt anything like it. The wetter I got, the more he worked, and that just made me wetter. I think I moaned when I heard him sucking my juices out. I never thought I would find someone drinking my pussy slime so pleasurable. When I started to wiggle, Tim stopped and crawled up my body with a very slimy grin. He pressed his mouth up to mine, so I opened mine to give him a french kiss, and found my mouth being flooded with my own juices. I gagged on it. Again I felt sick. But Tim made me swallow it and lick the rest off his face. I was horny again by the time I had finished, and I had the motivation to give Tim a surprise of his own. I can't believe how wet I got when I crawled out from under him and spread his ass cheeks apart. Unlike those sweaty jocks in the weight room, Tim had thoroughly cleaned his ass before school, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do to make him proud. I can't say I enjoyed it, but something about sticking my tongue into his hole gave me such a horny feeling I had to use my hand to masturbate myself. Well, since Rick and Jane should be getting here in a few minutes, I'll make the rest quick. Joey came in about the time I had finished resting my tongue, and I licked every inch of his body, paying a lot of attention to his asshole. But I wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind. Tim was eating me out while I was doing that, then the rest of the day the three of us spent exchanging oral sex. My tongue is so sore I don't know if I'll be able to try any of what I learned today with Rick, but I'm going to prove to myself that I've learned my lesson well. The first thing I'm going to do is lick Rick's ass, then maybe I'll have the energy to reward myself by blowing him. Speaking of the devil, here he is. 7:25 pm I didn't lick Rick's ass. Something told me that would be taking things too far with him. I don't think he could have handled it. I'm pretty sure it's not a cop out. So I blew him, and enjoyed him sucking my breasts. I wish I hadn't fell asleep on him. The next thing I knew, he and Jane were gone. Tim told me I had to start tasting myself when I masturbate. I've made myself clean off the dildo a few times. I'm going to wait a while before I try it again. I don't want to toss dinner up. 9:10 pm Jane came in and told me Susan would be coming home with her tomorrow and Rick had agreed to let her see him if she showed him her stuff. I was a little angry about that, but now I'm too tired to care. I made her promise to follow my orders while Susan was here, otherwise I would tell Rick to go home. [continued in next post] ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The latest version of this story, plus other stories set in _The Book_'s Universe are available at: ftp://asstr.ml.org/pub/Authors/Rass_Senip/ Thanks to... The A. S. S. Text Repository l e t t x o r i e s ftp://asstr.ml.org/ Absolutely free access to over 20,000 erotica stories. =====>No spam. No advertisers. 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