Message-ID: <4165eli$9709161358@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: From: Tanjeant@aol.com Subject: The Annex Reviews 9/15/97 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: X-Original-Message-ID: <970915201128_569598652@emout09.mail.aol.com> X-Is-Review: yes I've decided to do something a little different for this edition of the Reviews, which follows hot on the heels of the last. Usually I spent three or four hours a week wading through the newsgroups, picking out stories that look interesting and unusual. But this time, I selected them more or less at random, concentrating on what was posted in the past two days. Judge for yourself what this says about the average quality of sex stories. Lady Sarah's Erotic Fantasy [C] When posted: 9/13/97 Where posted: ASS Author: Lady Sarah Posted by: Paul Boy was this story dumb. One of the dumbest I've seen in a while, rivaling the Spice Girls story I did a review on a while back. It begins by stating "My name is Lady Sarah, I would like to welcome you to my secret dairy of erotic fantasy, that exist purely for my pleasure alone." Woah! A secret "dairy." I'll take two gallons of buttermilk, please. Lady Sarah takes a shower and masturbates with her fingers in her pussy. She's also rather detached from herself, commenting on "the creamy white flesh" and "the pointed pleasure button" of her body...At least I think the flesh and pleasure button were hers, as no other women were in the shower stall with her. After that, "Closing my eyes, I sagged against the cold glass of the cubical, subcoming to my own pleasure." I believe she means "succumbing" here, though if she's a sub, and is currently coming, this strange word could make sense. But alas, her reverie is broken when Alex, the brother-in-law with the manly torso, climbs into the shower with her. He says, "Don't try and act coy with me Sarah. I know the sort of woman you are, you want me as much as I lust over that slender body of yours" in stilted romance novel speech. Making the most of an embarrassing situation, Lady Sarah sucks his cock. He responds, " 'God yes, suck it you bitch.' He gasped from above, then. 'I'm going to come. I want to shower it all over you face and tits.' until his showered my face and tits with his hot, creamy spunk." After that he fucks her against the glass wall of the showerstall. Miraculously, they aren't sliced n' diced when it shatters under the strain of two copulating bodies. Compared to "The Storyteller" which I posted in my previous Reviews, and which was also a female masturbation fantasy, this story falls flat. You can tell a woman didn't write it, chiefly by the way Lady Sarah immediately latches onto the guy's cock and the heroic description of sperm as "hot creamy spunk" rather than the nondescript, snotlike fluid it actually is. Yeah, yeah, this is porn, we have to ignore certain laws of nature. But a neutral word like "cum" or "semen" would sound a lot less ridiculous. Oh, and then there's that tender, romantic "bitch." Although it stinks, I was actually pretty entertained by the story. It's so bad, it's good. And it was fun to write this review, too. Story: First Session (Part 1) (revised) [C+] When posted: 9/14/97 Where posted: ASS Author: ebodhrain@aol.com (EBodhrain) Posted by: ebodhrain@aol.com (EBodhrain) This posting crossed a variety of genres: BDSM, medical exam, enema, and chubby. I can't really call it a story. It's more of a private fantasy told in annoying second person voice ("With clean, firm hands I begin your gynecological exam") to you-the-victim, this imaginary person being a "Queen-sized" woman the narrator's met through email and talked into playing dom-sub/doctor games with him in his motel room. Though it doesn't succeed as a story, I found the fantasy interesting for the insight it gives into the mind of someone who is turned on by playing kinky games with large-sized women. Sort of like reading an X- rated confession. Story1 [B] When posted: 9/13/97 Where posted: ASS Author: DeadAim33 Posted by: deadaim33@aol.com This one was another female masturbation fantasy, but told from the man's point of view this time, also in that #&$*%#&@!!! second person voice. Now, there's nothing inherently wrong with second person voice. It's just that the tone forces the reader to play-act the role of the unseen, nameless "you" when they'd rather be reading along as readers usually like to do. That said, this story wasn't bad, and reading it was like reading a combination of the previous two stories. The narrator is in his home office reading his woman's sexy stories and masturbating when he barges in on her. The sight pleases her, and it pleases her even more to diddle herself for him. Then she asks him to come on her tits. Reality check here. #1. I don't get why any woman would go bonkers for a man's cum on her tits. Jeez, you'd get a better effect from a can of whipped cream. #2. If a couple has been sexually intimate with each other, why are they so embarrassed about masturbating in front of each other? But this author does write competently, and I did find the story sexy. Just get rid of the second person voice! photo shoot fantasy [C] When posted: 9/14/97 Where posted: ASS, ASSM Author: px125@aol.com (PX125) Posted by: px125@aol.com (PX125) This one's just as dumb as "Lady Sarah's Erotic Fantasy" but in a different way. A 20-year-old model with "large and pendulous yet conical shaped breasts" (Huh? Isn't this a contradiction in terms?) goes into a photographer's studio for a shoot. I imagine he's one of those amateur photogs who does it for the girls. After a few hot poses, he says, "I want your pussy so bad I can't stand it" and she readily agrees to fuck him. Just like that. Then she obeys all his other commands, such as spreading her legs on demand. After that, " 'Suck my dick Holly!!' I yelled along with other random obscenities as I reached down to fondle her tits and ass." Gee, and she didn't even sign a model release form. Sorry, but we need a plot, story structure, and characters here. Three's Company All Cats are... [B-] When posted: 9/13/97 Where posted: ASS Author: Uncle Mike Posted by: who@why.not This story was one of many posted by all the same person, who@whynot. I skimmed a few others, and they all seemed to be about fairly conventional heterosexual encounters spiced with a few lesbian ones. They weren't bad enough to be amusing or good enough to be memorable. The author of this story was "Uncle Mike." I don't think this is a referral to Mike Hunt, as the styles were very different. "Three's Company" was a TV show popular about twenty years ago about a horny guy named Jack who shares his apartment with two female roommates, Chrissie and Janet. The landlord doesn't approve of this so Jack pretends he's gay. (In retrospect, the landlord was actually a gay rights champion who was ahead of his time, given his approval of homosexuality but not of heterosexual relations.) It was a dumb show, and this is a dumb story. The fun begins when Jack surprises Janet humping on top of a stud in her bedroom. She's nude but for her high stiletto pumps. (Gee, why aren't her buttocks pierced by the high heels?) Jack assumes the guy's raping her and pulls him away. The boyfriend leaves, insulted, but Janet soon decides to fuck Jack instead. In the time-honored tradition, she immediately sucks his cock, then obligingly receives his cum all over her tits, face and hair. Jeez, I am so sick of this particular fantasy. Will someone please tell me what the appeal of it is for women? After that, Jack licks her pussy, with the obligatory finger up the ass, and she screams, "Yeah, baby! Yeah! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna... I'm... Aieeeeee!" I know this is a spoof, but there are good spoofs, and there are bad spoofs, and the fact is "Three's Company" doesn't lend itself to spoofing at all, because the premise of it was so campy and loaded with smirks in the first place. TV parodies only work when explicit sex would be totally out of place in the shows they spoof. The show is also too old for a TV parody, unless they've been showing on Nick at Night or something. To be fair the rest of the story was amusing, with Jack going bonkers for the comparatively plain Janet instead of sex-bomb Chrissie. He eventually fucks Chrissie up the ass as she retrieves something from under the bed, mistaking her for Janet from the waist down, and then Janet turns into a dominatrix who makes Chrissie lick her pussy as Jack fucks her, and then there's the oh-so-original female 69 scene. In conclusion, the writer did an OK job of recreating the stupid gags and pitfalls of the original show, and the writing was OK for the most part. But the many cliches were still annoying. Andy, Garter and Lace [B] When posted: 9/13/97 Where posted: ASSG Author: Andy Rhonstadt Posted by: andyron@hotmail.com This story could have been a companion piece to Vickie Tern's "Jaycee" which I reviewed last week, told from the viewpoint of the teenage boy. It purports to be written by an actual gay, nellie 17-year-old, who says "For those of you who are wondering, some parts of this are true, but it is a compilation of many events." Okay, I'll take your word for it. Part fantasy, part narrative, the story concerns an outstanding sexual adventure of the young hero, who is employed as an artist's model at a special school where male artists go to ogle young, smooth, hermaphroditic-looking boys. One guy becomes a special friend of the narrator and gives him a powder-blue satin maid's costume to wear, with a garter belt and glitter. This turns the narrator on, and that night, he agrees to bondage games at a party his older friend throws. Trussed in a sling, on exhibition, blindfolded, he enjoys himself immensely...and receives many flattering compliments on his good looks. Although this wasn't the greatest writing in the world, the story was interesting, and it was a relief to read about a main character who acts and thinks like a real human being instead of a cliche. He says flat-out he liked the sex and isn't exploited or abused. He wasn't called a "bitch." He told the story in a believable first person voice, with a beginning, a middle, and a conclusion. As a plus, no one came on anyone's tits. Comments to: ladycyrrh@aol.com Website---> http://users.aol.com/ladycyrrh -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ .../assm/faq.html> /