Message-ID: <1347eli$9706091252@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: Path: qz!not-for-mail Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: From: M1KEHUNT@aol.com Subject: <500 words "Memo" - by MIKEÊHUNT (+help request) 1 Dear Readers: Celeste, of "Celestial Reviews" fame, is holding her second Third Annual Short Story contest. This is one of my entries. She has also announced that she will allow herself to be influenced by your mail. Her address is Celeste801@aol.com. You know what to do and where to do it. My first entry is called "Memo". It's not a story, per se, but if some fucking English teacher is going to disqualify me because of a small rules infraction like that, then she deserves to get a lot of really nasty e-mails, know what I mean? I mean, she's allowing Taria's "Cain and Abel" and it was a day late. Just like some dumb teacher to believe the "dog ate my monitor cable" excuse. Anyway it's a great story, and I'm really sorry it's in the contest 'cause now I have NO shot. Well, I probably have no shot anyway unless you help. Does anyone know where Celeste lives, and also, does anyone have $10,000 I can borrow? Herewith, "Memo" - by M1KE HUNT: M1KE HUNT ENTERPRISES Interoffice Memo To: Ivonna Ardon Ivan Athole Howie Balzer Les Bian Harry Box Dick Butkus Oliver Clothesoff The Dickner Bros: Iben, Uben, and Heben Fonda Dix Neal Downe Ben Dover Dick Dragon C. Howie Fartz Wilma Fingerdo P. Freely Peter Grabber Mike Hawk Richard Hed Dick Hertz Ima Hore Betty Humpter Buster Hyman Haywood Jablome Hugh Jazz Jack Kanoff Connie Lingus Phillip Llerenas Mike Lit Pat McCann Phil McGroin Jack Mehoff Craven Morehead Dick Nibbler Mike Ocksucker Harry Puzey Ivan Recshin Ophelia Self R. Sole Ann L. Sphincter Dick Spitzalot Dick Swett Jenny Talia Kandy Thys Tess Tichols Dickie Trickle Eric Tzhun Peter Wacker Albert Zweiner From: M1KE HUNT Re: Leftovers I see we have a couple of "remainders" just sitting around, and as you know, we're falling behind schedule. I've already talked to Mr. Hed about his habit of hiring a hooker for the office every Wednesday. And while I may have stood in the circle and gotten a blowjob with the rest of you, it's time to get to work. No finger pointing. Or any other digit, please. For all our sakes, take these random intros and see if you can turn them into something for Celeste's Short Story contest: INTRO #1: Her head was nestled between my legs. She was licking my balls with a fury I had rarely seen before today. She kept at it for at least five minutes even though I asked her to stop. I grabbed my long hard shaft and turned toward her, threatening her with it. "How the hell am I going to improve my pitching wedge if that fucking collie won't take my practice balls out of her mouth?" I wondered. I have a big tournament this weekend.... (Please attach rest of story...) INTRO #2: I spread apart those well turned legs looking for that divine honey pot that I knew was sure to be there. My practiced eye traveled up one leg until I spotted it. Sure enough, "Miller's Honey Box" was stamped on the side and I knew I had found another antique treasure from the 1920's. The sturdy little piece of furniture had stood quietly in the back of the store... (Please attach rest of story...) INTRO #3: It was a dark and stormy night... (On second thought, skip this one. It's a stupid opening and totally unbelievable anyway.) Which brings me to my last point. We have to stop using dumb openings to these things. Just get the disclaimer out of the way and get on with the action. Our customer satisfaction ratings have slipped from 97% to 95.3% in the latest J.D. Powers survey, and I think our "too clever" openings may have something to do with it. And use a simple disclaimer, like: *Under 18? Go away.* That'd do it. OK, let's get to work. Oh, and Dick, please report to my office. It's Wednesday. Thanks M1KE BTW: In case you're wondering, we had to let Hugh G. Rection go. He just didn't fit in. -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ .../assm/faq.html> /