Message-ID: <1269eli$9706071427@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: Path: qz!not-for-mail Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded X-Story-Submission: From: Celeste801@aol.com Subject: Celestial Reviews 188 - June 7 X-Is-Review: yes Celestial Reviews 188 - June 7, 1997 Note: The deadline for the Second Third Annual Celestial Writing Contest has come and gone. Here's what we do next. I am going to post the list of all the stories I have received. Authors should post the stories on a.s.s. or a.s.s.m. They should label them at the beginning of the line with this heading: {<500 words}. Any readers who wish to do so should read as many of these stories as they wish and send their comments to me. Comments can be of two kinds: comments on a specific story or comments comparing stories - for example, by telling me why one story or another should be awarded the First Prize. If you wish to do so, you can shamelessly promote your cause, as Mike Hunt has done in the past. However, I don't recommend that, since most of us are impervious to silly flattery and other strategies that do not lead directly to orgasm. The final decision will be mine; but I shall allow myself to be influenced by this input from readers. I will NOT go by a simple vote; I'll take into consideration your input and make a decision. Of course, there's actually nothing to prevent someone else from giving a Second First Prize in this Second Third Annual Celestial Story Contest. The deadline for sending feedback to me is June 14. On June 18 I'll post the name of the winner, and I'll also post my reviews of all the stories. Here is the list (in general alphabetical order) of the stories I have received for this contest. If you think there is an error on this list, contact me, so that I can make a correction as soon as possible. "Am I Only Dreaming?" by Paddy Toute "B----'s Lover" by Eli-the-Bearded "Bees" by Mat Twassel "Cain and Abel" by Taria "Civility" by Mark Aster "Confessions of Lust" by Anon747 "Cream" by Seurat "Daisy" by John Thomas "Double Dutch" by Tom Bombadil "Dune What Comes Naturally" by Jeanette Brennan "Foodie" by Plainman "The Game" by Michael Ellis "The Harpooner" by MrSpraycan "A Hot Time in the Old Town" by Tom Bombadil "The Houseguest" by DG "If..." by Mary's Brother "In Your Own Sweet Way" by Walter Caulder "Listening to the Neighbors" by Renae Nicks "Memo" by Mike Hunt "My Trusted Friend" by BronwenSM "The Orgy" by kollontai "The Phone Call" by Gregarious "Playing Pool" by BronwenSM "Poe" by Seurat "Quiz" by Mike Hunt "Rant" by Mike Hunt "Ships that Parse in the Night" by John Thomas "Spaced Out" by John Thomas "Taken" by kollontai "An Unintentional Voyeur" by Tom Bombadil "Watching" by Tom Bombadil "Watching 3" by Tom Bombadil "What Choice? by Mal "Windmill Saga" by Robert Brennan "Yardstick" by John Thomas "Teasers" by Vickie Tern (several eligible entries) "Quickies" by Vickie Tern (a subset of "Teasers") "Twist" by Seurat (several eligible entries) Note that it is OK (and may be convenient) for authors to post several stories in a single package. However, the prize will go to a single story. If you read a set of stories, therefore, be sure to specify definite stories in your comments to me. Second Note: Eli has recently been criticized for "failing to moderate" alt.sex.stories.moderated. I am genuinely confused by this criticism. I just looked at the newsgroup again, and as near as I can figure, the entries there were all stories. That's all Eli has agreed to do - make an effort to ascertain that everything there is a legitimate story. He has also agreed to post my reviews there, but I don't think the critics are complaining about that. Either these critics are seeing a different list of stories than I am getting, or they are complaining about the QUALITY of the stories. Eli has never promised to vouch for the quality. All he's doing is saying that everything on a.s.s.m. is probably an actual story - as opposed to a.s.s., where we find a huge amount of senseless spam. I personally appreciate Eli's efforts and hope he gets amply rewarded for his good work. Third Note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste "Shelly's Sex Life" by Mike Hunt (sex instruction) 10, 10, 10 "Nichole" by Dirty Dawg (sex with cop) 9.5, 9.5, 9 "The Power" by Johnny D. (bondage & anal sex) 10, 9, 9 "The Husband" by Sue (swinging orgy) 4, 4, 4 "Barbeque of Doom" by Unknown Author (really grotesque sex) 9, 4, 4 "In the Barn" by Unknown Author (kiddy sex in the barn) 9, 9, 9 "Bartenders Have All the Fun" by The Grey Ghost (orgy) 6, 8, 7 "The Offering" by BronwenSM (exhibitionism & mercy fuck) 9.5, 10, 10 "Midnight Ride: by Houston R. Knight (incest) 10, 10, 10 "Shelly's Sex Life" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com). Shelly is not Mike's type of woman, but she needs help with her sex life, and she persuades Mike to help her. When Mike helps her, Shelly is a fast learner: she quickly BECOMES Mike's type of woman. Imagine that. The first week's lesson focuses on attitude and oral sex. The "lesson" is sexy and just plain titillating. Shelly does so well that next she wants to study swallowing, tit-fucking, and anal sex. Imagine that. Ratings for "Shelly's Sex Life" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Nichole" by Dirty Dawg (A+ Story). The detective is assigned to interrogate a prostitute who has been a witness to a murder, and he suddenly realizes that she is his former high school girlfriend. She has become a slut; she really enjoys fucking with lots and lots of men. The cop rehashes the emotions of his past life and then screws the prostitute. This is one of my all-time favorite authors. Several of his stories have a theme of romance with a former lover - the correction of a relationship that has gone wrong. In most cases the man has missed an opportunity to build a relationship and rectifies that shortcoming before the end of the story. In this story the author tries a slightly more complex plot, and I don't think he quite brings it off. Close, but not as good as I would have expected from this author. Ratings for "Nichole" Athena (technical quality): 9.5 Venus (plot & character): 9.5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 "The Power" by Johnny D. (JohnnyD@cryogen.com). This story is entirely a dialogue between a man and a woman who are having sex together. The reader has to use his/her imagination to fill in all the details. At first the man boasts about how he has the power to really satisfy a woman. She finds him to be boorishly egotistical and turns the tables on him. She handcuffs him and rapes him in the ass with a large dildo. This isn't a very nice thing to do, but I suppose some men who think they are God's Gift to Women deserve this kind of treatment. Ratings for "The Power" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 "The Husband" by Sue (gregsr@en.com). This is a sample of the material from Sue's Intimate Library. About all I can tell you is that this library does not insist on grammar - or sophisticated plots. Sue and Greg talk to another couple on the phone and then meet them for sex. At first I wondered why this story, which is entitled "The Husband" was posted as "Saturday Night," but then I lost interest. Ratings for "The Husband" Athena (technical quality): 4 Venus (plot & character): 4 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4 "Barbeque of Doom" by Unknown Author (Red Dragon Repost). I was just saying to myself, "Self, the Red Dragon has been reposting better stories lately. They're a lot more literate than they used to be." So I chose this one and read it and said to myself, "Self, either you chose a bad sample or you are wrong about the Red Dragon." This story is so bad that it's almost good. Sex simply cannot occur the way it is described in this story. The best thing that can be said about it is that it makes interesting use of random body parts. I'm pretty sure the author was trying to be sarcastically creative or something like that; it would be sad to think that this author actually thought this was a story. This story is short, and it's kind of fun - the sort of thing you might want to print out and leave around in the beauty parlor when you know the next lady is that prissy, sanctimonious, religious bitch who always annoys you. Ratings for "Barbeque of Doom" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 4 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4 "In the Barn" by Unknown Author (Red Dragon repost). Jodi is relaxing in the barn, braced for a boring evening with the relatives. She's 13.5 years old. Then her older cousin Brad comes into the barn with a dirty magazine and starts to masturbate. She interrupts him and shows him her tits, and then they have sex together. Actually, I have oversimplified this story considerably: before they have sex he tickles her, she sticks out her tongue at him, and they look at the pictures in the dirty magazine together. They also watch Sinbad fuck Margaret. Sinbad is a bull and Margaret is a regular cow. Favorite line department: "He gently curls my hand around his penis, then begins moving my hand slowly up and down his shaft. It feels almost as if it is alive, the way it pulses under my fingers." Think about that for a moment.... Guess what! The penis IS alive! That's the difference between a real cock and a dildo. Then Jodi gives him head. The author doesn't say whether his cock still felt alive; but if it didn't, she did something wrong. I suspect it was still alive, because it becomes large again and he sticks it into her. A good time is had by all. Then they go inside and have a boring evening with the other relatives. This reminds me of a story. Vern the undertaker was having an ordinary day, when the people from the hospital brought him the body of Schmitty the Baker. Schmitty had died in the act of copulating in the back room with a sexy young customer. The unique thing was that rigor mortis had set in while his cock was still up, and it was the biggest cock Vern had ever seen. Vern wished he could show this to his wife; and after he thought for a moment, he said to himself, "What the hell. Schmitty is dead and won't need this any more." And so he hacked off Schmitty's cock and put it in a velvet-lined box and took it home for his wife to see. When he walked into the house, he handed his wife the box and said, "Look what I got off a dead body today." His wife opened the box and screamed, "Omigod! Schmitty the Baker is dead!" Ratings for "In the Barn" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 9 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9 "Bartenders Have All the Fun" by The Grey Ghost (Red Dragon repost). (This story is listed in a.s.s. as "Bartender.") A college guy and his friend stay after hours at the bar and have a raucous party with four girls who have been attending a stag-ette party for one of the damsels who is getting married. They play a game called "I've-Never," in which players take turns, while sitting in a circle, saying something that they have never done and they think someone else in the party has done. {It's the sort of thing that counselors often recommend as an ice-breaker at touchie-feelie encounter groups.} For instance a guy might say he has never worn a bra, and all the girls (as well as any guys who had worn a bra) would be required to drink (or do what the group has decided for that game). I myself would really kick ass at a game like this, because I would say, "I have diagrammed sentences while making love" or "I have had an orgasm while reading "The Great Gatsby." Well, as you can easily imagine, somebody in the group has never done a striptease, and after the appropriate libations, somebody does do a striptease. Eventually they play a variation of Blind Man's Bluff and have an orgy. A good time is had by all. Ratings for "Bartenders Have All the Fun" Athena (technical quality): 6 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7 "The Offering" by BronwenSM (bronwen@anon.nymserver.com). The young adolescent is getting it on with her older boyfriend in the dark in a semi-public place, when she becomes aware that someone is watching. It's a derelict - a sad lonely man, who really likes what he sees. To her boyfriend's dismay, she invites the old guy to join in. It's stories like this that have brought terms like "mercy fuck" and "charity date" into our language. This author has just recently come to my attention. I think she/he should get just a little help with the proofreading - maybe share the stories with a friend before posting them. Overall, this is an imaginative, realistic story. I hope to see more like it. Ratings for "The Offering" Athena (technical quality): 9.5 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 "Midnight Ride" by Houston R. Knight (SeptDrms@cia.com). What's a kid to do if his mother with her size D breasts and smooth thighs and tight ass and all that other good stuff sits down next to him on his bed and asks for a massage for a leg cramp. The same thing a guy would do in a when a lounge lizard with size D breasts and smooth thighs and tight ass and all that other good stuff sits down next to him on the next stool at a bar and asks for a massage for a leg cramp. The decision becomes easier if either the mother or the lizard asks if the listener likes having a woman ride his face. The thought of being underneath a set of luscious hips, sandwiched between sensual thighs, servicing a wet pussy can be very intoxicating. Obviously, mothers should have more sense. So should lounge lizards. During the afterglow we hear,"So Todd, have you ever licked a woman's ass?" Hmmm... This is a very short, moderately silly, but well written story. Ratings for "Midnight Ride" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us | | Archive site +--------------------+------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | \ .../assm/faq.html> /